March 10, 2025

Winning Him Without Words: Pick and Choose Your Battles / Stand up or Shut up

November 12, 2012 by

Is it really necessary to win an argument?  Why do we want “to win”?

Do we feel that when we do, we have some kind of special power over the other person?

How many of us were/are like the little six year old in our lesson today, when we don’t win, we bawl(cry), we mouth words back to the person showing our total disappointment and we don’t stop doing these things until we get a point across to them in hopes to get a little reward in something.   Probably most of us can answer yes to this question/thought.

Each of us have something growing inside of us that likes “the victory” moments to occur, we like to be able to say “see there I did that” or “I won that”…..and for some reason we especially like to have those moments with our husbands for some reason.     We feel like when we win a battle that we have won the most ultimate gift of the day until tomorrow when something else happens and we are trying all over “to win again”.

I am here to say we will “NEVER” win, not the true gift anyway as long as we are just trying to win a “daily battle/conflict” in our marriage, because you see all those are just temporary “wins”, they have no meaning, they have no permanence, all they have is a temporary feeling and then they start all over the next morning.

Do we sit and think about the daily battles “before” we choose one to battle over?   I love what Gods Word tells us In Luke 21:14 NIV “but make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.

This verse tells us that we are able to make a decision not to worry, that we should Resolve and settle in our minds not to meditate and prepare beforehand how we will make our defense and how we will answer.

To meditate means to roll something around in our mind. Worry is simply rolling unpleasant possibilities around in our minds. Not to prepare beforehand how we will responsd to those who disagree with us is a real step of faith. We are then forced to rely on whatever God brings to our minds. By not preparing a battle and rolling these scenarios around in our minds we are now opening our minds instead to receive wisdom from God.

Worry can sneak up on us and we find all sorts of negative possibilities seeping into our minds uninvited and unwelcome, it is when conflicts in our marriage will begin to creep in, all because we want to win a battle, we want to gain an inch of ground in the argument.

 Why can’t we just “keep our mouths shut”

 We must remember that the ones of us who are believers and any of our husbands who are not believers do not see things the same way. One sees with God’s eyes and the other with the world’s eyes.    Thankfully Lynn tells us on Pg. 109 that “we believers view life through the lens of God’s Word, we filter the day’s events and process them through the truths we discover from reading our Bible daily and the time we spend in prayer and our husband processes life from some other source.   This makes our marriage a tough one to live every day and this is one reason why we have “daily battles”.  These are the times we have to decide to “stand up, or give up”  –  really is that what it has to be?  NO!    instead the process in these daily battles  needs to be us becoming mature in Christ and learning to pick and choose our battles carefully and prayerfully.

We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.

We can’t win our marriage on our own, we can’t take on the role of Jesus in trying to get our marriage to a place where we want it to, instead we need to give our daily battles to God and let Him do all the changing, stop pushing our faith and belief on our man to the point where we argue about it or even the simplest things that take away the focus of God in our lives and in our marriage.

Ladies our husband will see God has changed us, we don’t have to try and make him see and then the key that will unlock these battles is a “transformed life in Him(our husband) and a transformed life in us (our marriage)”

Let’s just surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage, let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!

 

Let’s Pray:   God I pray for each one of us as we will face upcoming battles in our marriages, help us Lord not to choose the battle but instead look to you and help us to decide if the issue/battle is truly worth this conflict we will face, and help us Lord instead to surrender it to you”  In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:   Tell us how you resolve conflicts/battles in your marriage.   How do you pick/choose your battles?   How many of you never have any conflicts/battles with your man, if so teach us your method and how it can help us to grow this area of our marriage.

Love you all,

Beverly

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

Last week we learned that we do not have to be perfect – we need to be authentic. Phew, what a relief! This week we are tackling the daily battles that arise in our relationships – how should we respond? What battles do we need to stand our ground on and which ones can we let go? Or do you feel like the character in the cartoon image and want/need to fight every battle, even to the detriment of your marriage? Ouch! We have a lot to learn this week and I cannot wait to get started!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Monday Nov 12 
Luke 21:14-15 – Pick & Choose Your Battles / Stand Up Shut Up – Beverly

Tuesday Nov 13 
A Transformed Life – Jennifer

Wednesday Nov 14 
Let’s Have a Word – Donna

Thursday Nov 15 
Speak Words of Grace / Receive Grace –  Sarah

Friday Nov 16 
Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, we know that this week’s topic may be a tough one for us to hear. We do not like to lose and we want to stand firm in our beliefs, Lord. But, God, we also want to have a healthy, loving marriage relationship with our spouse. Show us how to pick the battles worth fighting and letting go of the ones that we can agree to disagree on. Lord, it is by your strength that we do this. Just be with us as we look inward to our own actions and behaviors this week. Help us to change the things that we may need to change. Give us wisdom and strength to become the women and wives you have called us to be. In Jesus name, we pray Amen!

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 6 / Day 5: A Good Friend Holds You Accountable

November 9, 2012 by

How many of us want a good friend? I remember once, when I was 14 or 15 years old a friend who was not doing what is right. I told her that I did not think what she was doing was appropriate. It upset her and her brother, who was older, got on the phone, and told me to mind my own business that not everyone believes as I do. I became upset. My dad happened to come by when I was upset and after relaying the story he told me that I should not to try to tell someone else how to behave, that it was not my responsibility. Oh how I wish I knew now, what I needed to know then. I was discouraged from sharing and calling out anyone else until I became older.

Proverbs 15:31 states, “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.” (ESV) If you or I were to speak with someone about what is going on in their life, would they turn from the path he or she is going towards? We would not know unless we speak out. Ms. Sturgeon asks us to pray first about the confrontation before you give advice and your example to lead them back to Him. 2 Timothy 4:2 gives us great advice on what to do: “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage –with great patience and careful instruction.”

When confronting your friend you may be rejected, but they will come back to you. I know my friend came back to me and we were great friends for a very long time. Have you ever been on the receiving end of reproving? I have, and it is hard to receive. Pride gets in the way and I had to move it aside and ask God to reveal to me what my friend saw that I was doing. After much thought I realized my friend was right and how I have sinned in that situation.

We all fall short of our goal when we are not held to a higher standard. We will not meet our full potential unless we are purified in the fire and come out on the other side, new and shiny. When we reprove someone or we are on the receiving end of reproving, then we need to thank God that someone loved us enough to take the time to speak with us. That is showing gratitude to our Father!

Let’s pray:

Father, give me the courage I need to speak up when my friend is not living according to your word. Help me to know that your love for them is as great as your love is for me. Help me show my friend that I want to see my friend succeed in every aspect of her life through making the godly choices she needs to make. Use me Father as you see fit, give me the words to speak, not mine, by your words. Thank you for all that you do in our lives and we thank you most of all for your son Jesus.

In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen!

Blessings, 

Tina

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Lady in Waiting: Guarding the Treasure

November 8, 2012 by

Over the past two years I have been honored to stand in four different weddings of women I prayed with, laughed with, grew with, and watched fall deeply in love with the man of their dreams. I have seen relationships grow from friendship to marriage. I have been blessed to watch newlyweds and long married couples invite their first or second child into the world. I have talked my friends through the process of deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a man they were interested in.

Let’s be honest, I have done my fair share of relationship watching. But the one thing that I have not done is gone on a date. That’s right, I have not been on one single date in the past two years, and let me tell you something…it is not easy watching friend after friend meet the person they will spend the rest of their lives with and begin that process, while I am left single, alone, and in the dust with out even a possibility.

Why do I start this post out with what seems to be a complaint about my relationship status? Not for sympathy or a pat on the back. Not so that you set me up with some suitor or encourage me to get my feet wet. But to share with you, that I have not been out with men because I am guarding my treasure. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. When everyone else is happily in love and oogling over their latest romance, I do most certainly get quite lonely at times. I would love to have a fling, lock lips with a handsome male friend, or even just go on a date for fun. But I have committed myself to guarding my heart, my body, and my love.

The author writes about some practical ways to avoid making decisions that will give away your treasure too soon. Ladies, this does not just mean your virginity or your body. This sometimes even means your words and your affection. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all love the coos and sweet words of men who desire to share some sort of intimacy with us. It makes us feel cared about, important, wanted, and maybe even loved. But we ought not give our love to every man who speaks whispers those sweet nothings into our ears. The reality of the situation is, there is a great chance that you may not end up with the most recent sweet-talker to grace your paths.

Let me be clear here: this is not a man bash. There are many great intentioned males out there who mean what they say and have actions to back it up. But while you wait for Mr. Right, please do not throw yourself at every man who says you are beautiful, unique, or special. Even if you are in the midst of a relationship that you think could be the one, you may want to go as far as asking this man not to pour out words of adornment until you are in a more committed stage of your relationship. Explain what it does to your heart. A good man will be able to prove how much he cares for you without using words. He will make you feel beautiful, unique and special by the way that he treats you. If he is using words and not backing them up with actions, please, ladies, DO NOT stick around expecting him to change! There are good men out there who will treat you like the woman of God that you are, so don’t settle for a man who does not hold himself, and you to those standards!

Best of all if you are guarding your treasure, when you meet the right man, you will not hear yourself echoing words that you once said to a former lover. You will not find yourself repeating actions that were once special with another man, but rather you will find that all of the adorable phrases and enjoyable “you-isms” will be safe for just this one man. Trust me, I know that it is difficult to watch your sisters and friends sharing these intimate moments with men left and right. It is so hard not to get sucked into wanting it for yourself, right now! However, we will all find in the end that the moments of intimacy lost on men who mean nothing will take away from the man who will mean everything. And the moments that you save will be that much more special!

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Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with the emotions and desires that we have! Thank you for knowing exactly how we can best use those emotions and desires. Give us the patience to save our energies for the man who you have in design for us. Let us invest our hearts in you for the comfort we lack during this time of singleness, so that we are better able to love our husbands when the time comes. Please bless us in this week as we enter into a deeper intimacy with you. Amen.

Your Assignment

 Talk with some of your sisters in Christ and/or an accountability partner about what your standards should be for a man. Write down a list of ways that you can protect your purity, and your heart when you do go out with a man you are interested in. Report back with one or two ways you have been doing that in your relationships with men.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Emotional, Relational, Spiritual

November 7, 2012 by

I honestly don’t know how to get started here. I didn’t even need to see the sections I was writing on this week before thoughts began to pour into my head, all I needed to see was the word “purity”. And it made me freeze. How can I write to women about purity when I see my past as tainted, when my purity is a thing of the past. Then I got quiet and prayed. This isn’t the first time I have had to use my past to speak to others, and yes I am no longer pure in regards to my physical state, but God has forgiven me and washed me whiter than snow. This is how I can talk about this topic. It doesn’t make it easier by any means!  The consequences of my actions are still something I deal with, but I can stop myself and pray, knowing I am forgiven, and that the lessons learned will help someone else.

I became pregnant with my daughter at 17 and had her when I was 18. I wasn’t married. I have dealt with the emotional, relational and spiritual consequence these sections speak about, I think a lot of us have.

God gave us a gift when he tied our emotions to our physical state.  It enables us to love hard.  It drives us to give our all to the one we’re with. But that gift only works the way it is designed to work when we are with the one God has chosen for us, and under the bond of marriage. It is stated more than once in this section that God wants to protect us; protect us from a broken heart, protect us from condemnation, protect us from fear, from resentment. It also lists doubt, depression, bitterness and mistrust. I remember feeling all of these after purity was no longer one of the characteristics I possessed. He wants to protect our hearts and minds from these negative emotions that sexual promiscuity will bring.

This section further defends the thought that women are complex creations. Yes ladies we are complex, we have many layers, we are hard to understand, and at times we can be complicated. This is not a bad thing. It is part of Gods security system for us. But have you ever set off an alarm by using the incorrect code and haven’t been able to turn it off? That’s what premarital sex does to us. It sets off an alarm that only God can turn off.  But instead of a screaming noise, our emotions, relationships, and spirituality are screaming.  Our internal alarm systems need the right code.

 The code of Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 The code of Colossians 3:1-2

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above,

where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.

Whether it is one night, or a long term relationship, premarital sex negatively effects three of the most important aspects of a woman’s life. Emotional. Relational. Spiritual. We are God’s ladies in waiting. When situations present themselves that deal with the topic of purity, take a conscious step back and think of the impact it will have on these three areas.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Lets Pray:

Thank you Lord for the security system you have placed within each and every one of us. Thank you for your forgiveness and redemption. Lord please touch our hearts when we are facing different situations and bring to mind how much you value our emotions, relationships and spirituality. Thank you for protecting us.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Your assignment:

I listed some codes I use when I’m faced with certain situations or when Satan tries to remind me of my past.  What are some scriptures you turn to when purity is concerned?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Why Wait / Physical

November 6, 2012 by

 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body,

but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

When I saw my blogging assignment for this week, I began to pray because I knew what the Lord was asking me to do.  Speak and write the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.  I pray that you will open your heart to receive this truth and not feel in any way condemned.  I am writing out of love for you and to shield you from pain.

To start us off today, I want to present to you two scenarios. In the first place, have you ever wondered why when we taste something that is not to our satisfaction – we say it’s okay or it could have been better?  Or have you heard of a man or woman asking their partner to go and see a therapist because they feel that their partner is not good in bed?  The question that you would ask is this, how do you know that the food you are eating is not good or bad?  It’s because you have tasted something better!  In the same way the man or woman in the example above feels that the other is not good in bed because they have been with other people.  They are comparing their spouse with the girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s) they had in the past and they feel cheated.

Now imagine your wedding day – you have been looking forward to this day all your life, as a young woman you have dreamed how this day would be because you have been planning this for so many years.  The wedding ceremony was perfect, the food and drinks met your expectations and everyone is going to talk about how beautiful you looked for weeks or months to come.  Now come the wedding night – the honeymoon suite and everything else is so beautiful.  The mood is set for a wonderful evening but afterwards your husband asks you “honey, I thought I was your first!” Can you dare to look at him in the eye and say, I am sorry?

Let me also share some of the questions we received as leaders of the singles group I led at our church: –

How much is too much? –

We are engaged to be married, is it okay to spend the night at his place? –

I love him so I feel it is right to have sex with him as a way of expressing my love, is this ok? –

All my friends do it, why not me?  I will repent and God will forgive me. –

You don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive.  What if you find out that the person you have married has a deformity in this area?

At first I couldn’t believe I was getting these questions from young men and women who were Christians because I was naïve to think that “church folk” that were saved, who narrated the Bible back to back struggled with such issues.  I realized that if they had it together then we would not be tackling this topic.  When you are coming from the “world” you put Christians in a pedestal and expect that they know everything and don’t struggle with issues the rest of the world does. Girlfriends, when the Bible says “FLEE” it means “RUN”.  This is not the time to be asking if it should be a splint or a big walk or if it’s time to put on running shoes or wait until the water has reached the neck.   You just run!  I am saying this to address the above questions.  Don’t allow yourself to be in a compromising position and expect to stop when it becomes too much.  Our Father loves us so much and does not want us to get hurt as such He warns us to flee from such situations.

I am not sure if you have thought of having sex outside of marriage as sinning against your own body?  Well to be honest with you back then I didn’t know but now I know.  And although I also know that God has forgiven me, the sin has been laid at the cross and buried in the grave, I still have to live with the consequences of my past actions.  My dear sisters, I confessed Christ as my Lord and Savior at 19 but I never really gave all of my life to him.  As a young woman, I bought into the ideologies of the world and lived and did as I pleased.  I had one foot in the church and the other in the world.  I believed that if I loved someone then to express how much I love him, I had to sleep with him.  I wish I knew better.  I wish someone gave me this book to read back then. Beloved what you do now may look harmless but know for sure that you will reap the fruits of your actions.  “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.” Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones highlights that God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings. These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

These are just some of the physical reasons: –

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage. God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. –

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband. –

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility. A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicates the consequences.

I pray that you will not fall into the trap of “if you love me then you will sleep with me” like I did. Honor God with your body as much as you honor Him with everything else. For someone who has already gone all the way.  I pray that you will ask God for forgiveness and commit to be pure from this day forward.  The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Old habits, old fears, old addictions may approach and afflict us and sometimes we may want to turn back to them. But God is saying to us, “Fix your eyes on Me! If you will let Me be your victory, we will see the last of that.”

Listen to what God is saying!

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come before you with a broken and contrite heart.  I ask you to forgive me for sinning against you and my body.  I want a new start from this day forward.  I make this commitment to you and my future husband.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?

Be Blessed,
Jackie
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection for Authenticity – A Fine Linen Belt

November 5, 2012 by

This was another difficult chapter for me this week and I kept struggling with what God would have me to share with all of you. God is beginning to open buried places inside me that I have buried for years and I know that I have tried to be the “perfect” wife over all these years instead of what God showed me thru this lesson which is “Beverly I want you to be the authentic wife”, the woman who shows her true self that you were the day you said “I do”.   The one I want your husband to “see” because when he “sees” that, he will then see “me”.   Oh what an epiphany He showed me tonite about how sometimes I do just “show” God instead of “live” God in front of my husband.

In today’s lesson, we find a very interesting illustration.  God tells Jeremiah to buy a new linen belt and wear it around his waist. At that time, a linen belt was an intimate piece of clothing, comparable to the underwear of today.  After Jeremiah wore the belt, God directed him to take it off and hide it in some rocks near a river.  Several days later, God told Jeremiah to return to Perath and retrieve the belt.

After sitting in the elements, the belt that was once perfect and clean was ruined and completely useless.

The belt was symbolic of the people of Judah.  They were once a people who were close to God, just as the belt was once close to Jeremiah.  Over time, the people of Judah allowed pride to come into their hearts, and this pride was as damaging to the people of Judah as the elements were to the belt.  Eventually, that pride ruined them and rendered them completely useless to God.

If we are not careful,  we will be like the people of Judah in our marriages, we can allow the “elements” to damage our relationship with our husband.  We can start to feel alone, left out, like we are just two people living in the same home together but separate and pretty soon, we end up ruined and completely useless as someone who can reach inside our husbands lives and hearts.    We need to make sure we “stop and pay attention” to what we are saying and doing in our marriage and being sure we are being the living representation of Christ in our homes.

That doesn’t mean being perfect, it means being authentic!

As I was with my mom and sister this weekend during one of our bible study evenings my mom broke down and shared some things in her life that happened about 50 years ago that she had no idea that either of us knew, it was so relieving to finally hear her tell this story.   I have been knowing this about 15 years, however, she had no idea that I knew.    She finally had some break thru moments that evening, because she was being “authentic” with us after all these years.

Here are a few things that came to my mind as I studied this lesson that I think we need to be reflecting and showing our husbands:

  • Our hearts – what is in there
  • Our minds – what are we thinking
  • Our soul – what are our desires

Understand I know that some of our husbands may not want to hear these things, but if we approach him at the right time and in the right demeanor (meaning we have taken it to God first before we hit him with it)   I truly believe he will be more receptive to hearing our authentic selves and not the pretend tiptoeing around spouse we are currently being.   As Dineen shared with us; I also know that many of us don’t have the freedoms to voice our beliefs to our husband but we can live boldly through our actions, and through knowing Christ is there with us thru every moment to speak to us and lead the decisions and our words.

Let’s pray:

God I pray for each lady this week as we stop and pay attention to what each day and each moment in our marriage is saying to us and that You help us to be effective  “fine linen belts” in our homes. In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:

Dineen shared with us that she asked God to connect the dots with this story He gave her in this chapter about how it related to being unequally yoked, and He gave her a picture of how the believing spouse can be that fine linen belt….    So after you read this lesson “trading perfection for authenticity” did God show you something specific to help “you” connect dots for your marriage, if so would you share your thoughts with us today.

 

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Purity

November 4, 2012 by

 

My beloved girlfriends, I thank God each day for giving me this opportunity to take this amazing journey with you.  What a blessing it is to study with you.  This book is so full of life changing truths.  Each chapter is rich with honesty and makes one to really look at life in a different perspective.

Our chapter for this week, Lady of Purity is no different.  My prayer is that we will allow God to open our eyes and eyes of faith so that we can receive what He has for us.

Purity is a “sensitive” subject among us Christians because of the world we live in but as children of God we are to remain pure as the bride of Christ.  But what happens when we have given away our most treasured gift?  I don’t want to preempt things.  Why don’t you join us this week as we dig deep into this chapter?

__________________________

Here is our reading assignment for Week 7

November 5:

Lady of Purity, Deadly Deception – Michelle

November 6:

Why Wait / Physical – Jackie

November 7:

Emotional, Relational / Spiritual – Tonya

November 8:

Guarding the Treasure – Katie

November 9:

What if it’s Too Late – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Our God and our Father, thank you so much for being with us in this journey.  Lord, may you be with us this week as we deal with this subject of purity.  We want to be Ladies of Purity in each and every area of our lives and we cannot do it without your help.  Holy Spirit soften our hearts to receive what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: An Advantageous Position

November 2, 2012 by

This chapter makes me think of my sister so incredibly much!  Reading through the story of the married lady you may think-no way does married life really get that crazy.  Now, I am not married, but my sister is, and I can assure you that the story in the book is not even close to as crazy as it really gets being married and having children running around.  Trust me, I have experienced the crazy right alongside of my sister and honestly if it wasn’t for the grace of God-there would be no way she could get through her day without putting her children and husband up for adoption.

My sister and I are very close and very similar.  We both strive to live our lives for God alone.  We both cry at the same things, and laugh at the same things-mainly each other.  We share similar passions.  We encourage one another and are both thankful we are sisters and have each other to go through life with.  There is one thing about us that makes us very different as we live out the lives God has planned perfectly for each one of us- she is married with three ADORABLE children (I know I am biased but they truly are the most adorable kids in the universe) and I am single living in a perfect little apartment all for me.

There are so many times that my sister and I will be talking on the phone (me usually whining on the phone) in the midst of living out the difference in our lives and she will mutter the words, enjoy being single while it lasts because when you are married you won’t have time to yourself.  This is usually said after I go on and on about the fact that I am single and alone and wondering how I am ever going to find the man God has for me if I am sitting home, alone talking to her.  Meanwhile, my sister on the other end is wishing and praying for some sort of miraculous thing where time freezes just for her kids and husband and she can move around doing what she wants and needs without them just for even a minute will do.

I am always reminded of a few things when I talk to my sister in these moments:  living out married life with kids is a lot different than the married life with kids we dream of when we are single.  By enjoying single life she doesn’t want me to enjoy the fact that I feel like a loser sometimes, she wants me to enjoy the time I have with God alone and make the most of that time.  Married women want what single women have-not so much singleness, but aloneness: time to spend alone with God or with a good movie without any interruptions of motherhood and being a wife.  In the same way single women want what married women have: a husband to come home, give us a kiss, ask us how our day was, and to spend our evenings with him and not alone.

The fact of that matter though is that GOD IS CALLING ME AND YOU TO SINGLENESS FOR THIS SEASON OF OUR LIVES.  WE MUST NOT WANT SOMETHING WE DO NOT HAVE.  WE MUST EMBRACE THIS TIME IN OUR LIFE, WE MUST USE OUR TIME THAT WE HAVE ALL TO OURSELVES AND SHARE IT WITH GOD, YEARNING TO HEAR FROM HIM AND GROW CLOSER TO HIM.

My sister will be the first person to tell you that marriage and motherhood is such a blessing and gift from above.  You NEVER want to trade those blessings and gifts for anything.  She will also be the first to tell you that being a wife and mommy makes spending time with God a little more of a challenge.

As a single woman, I am telling you that the only thing that keeps us from taking advantage of the TIME we have to spend with God daily (distractionless) is the whining we do in our minds, the unrealistic dreams we will not let go of.  There will come a day when most of us will not have the luxury of one-on-one time with God without a husband needing socks, a poopy diaper needing changed, and the Bible you are so desperately trying to read being chewed on by a teething little child.  So let us make the most of the time we do have to put all of our attention and focus on the one and only satisfaction to our hearts desires.  You are where you are for a reason, married or single-God still desires to spend time with you.  And as a single woman of God it is our hearts desire to be concerned with living our lives for HIM ALONE.

LET’S PRAY:  Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you so much for the time you give us every day to spend with YOU!  I pray that in the midst of our singleness we do not become distant from you, but instead we use this time to grow closer to you.  Prepare our hearts for whatever lies ahead for us.  Help us to take full advantage of our single days-with you.  I love you so much Jesus!  We pray all of these things in your HOLY name, AMEN.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:  List everything you want in your life.  Give that list to God, literally take that list and pray to God about everything on it.  Then put the paper in a safe place.  Ask God to turn that list of your wants into HIS LIST OF HIS WANTS.  As time goes by, compare the lists.  See what has changed and what you have been living out for Him all along!

Love you ladies!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

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Winning Him Without Words – Weekly Review

November 2, 2012 by

 

This week marks the halfway mark on our journey through Winning Him Without Words. What a ride it has been, as we have laughed, prayed, and learned new insights together about how to live our life before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.

Before we move on, may I share a scene with you of the Israelites on their journey to The Promise Land [Exodus 14]. Perhaps it will be an encouragement to us on our journey.

Moses had just lead over six hundred thousand Israelites, along with their herd of cattle, out of Egypt where they had been slaves for over 430 years.  At last they were on their way to Canaan, the land God had promised was theirs to inherit.

But Pharaoh, the Egyptian king and his army, came after them in hot pursuit.  When the Israelites saw Pharaoh and his army coming, they began to cry out to Moses:  “It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die out here in The Wilderness.”

God spoke to Moses and said:

Tell the children of Israel to “GO FORWARD.”

“Go forward?”  “The Red Sea is in front of us!”  “Are you sure, God?”

But God knew what do about The Red Sea.  “Stretch out your hand over the sea,” were His words to Moses.  As Moses stretched his hand over the sea, the waters divided, the sea became dry land, and they crossed to the other side. The sea returned, and all the Egyptians drowned.  Thus the Lord saved Israel that day out of the hands of the Egyptians, and they continued on their journey.

Now, one would think that after that miraculous delivery that the Israelites would never doubt that they could not make it to Canaan and receive the inheritance God had promised them.  However, only two people of the original group, Joshua and Caleb, made it to Canaan.

Why only two?  Could it be that Joshua and Caleb made it into Canaan because they never lost sight of the vision God had given them.  Not only that, but they acted upon that vision despite the circumstances they faced and the people around them who didn’t believe it was possible.

I believe that God is saying to us: GO FORWARD with the vision He has given us for our marriage!  And yes, He can part The Red Sea in our life to get us there.

This week, at our halfway stop in Chapter 5, Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah gave us good insights to go forward by: Believing Our Marriage is Blessed.

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Let’s review their points now.

Monday:  Believe your Marriage is Blessed – The Way to Mismatchdom – -Beverly points to the question that we who are in an unequally yoked marriage are often asked:  “Did you know he wasn’t a Christian when you married him?”

In Beverly’s case, she did know that her husband wasn’t a Christian prior to marriage.  But, as she points out, she could not then and even now after all these years change him.

However, Beverly has learned powerful lessons in her spiritually mismatched marriage:

  • We aren’t better than our spouse just because we are the believer.
  • A superior attitude is not showing or providing a warm welcome to who Jesus is.
  • Don’t give up, God is fully aware of the situation.
  • Recognize God’s presence.
  • Relax and stop trying to do God’s job.

These lessons she has learned provides a real moment of truth:  Only then can we begin to enjoy marriage, tensions will ease, and we won’t have to constantly be talking to our man about our faith.  We are living it in front of them  (remember, actions speak louder than words) they will see!

May we do likewise

Tuesday:  “The Call to Obedience” / “God’s Plan for Your Marriage” – – Jennifer starts off on the call to obedience with Dineen’s statement on page 85.  “What God requires of all covenant relationships, including marriages, is that He be at the center, whether your husband believes in Jesus or not.”

Jennifer then asks us some very pointed questions:

  1. What defines your relationship with Jesus?
  2. Is it defined by whether or not your spouse comes to faith?
  3. Is it defined by you being able to pray with your spouse or being able to read Bible passages together?
  4. Is it defined by going to church with your spouse…or not?
  5. Why does my (or your) relationship with our mighty Savior depend on the actions (or inactions) of another sinful, imperfect human

Jennifer makes a very valid point in conclusion:  Since WE believe, WE bring Jesus into our marriage. And that, my dear friends, is powerful. Soak that it. Rest in that truth. Whether you see God in your marriage right now or not, I promise you HE IS THERE and HE IS WORKING

May we do likewise

Wednesday:  Are We the Sweet Aroma of Christ, Or the Stench of Death?  Donna had never given a thought before as to how she “smelled” as a Christian!

But, it made her think of a favorite aunt whose aroma was always so sweet, not only because of her perfume, but because she radiated love to her.  She made Donna feel special and that she mattered to her.  Her love was genuine and Donna could sense it, smell it, and see it.

Donna pointed out that is what is the kind of aroma God wants us to give off to our loved ones, according to 2 Corinthians 2:14-16.

Ask yourself:

  • Does he see me living out my faith as the aroma of Christ?
  • Does he something in me that he longs for in the deepest depths of his soul?
  • Or does he see an ugly example that turns him off?
  • Do I want to be the aroma of death, stinky, decaying, rotting, death? Or do I want to give off the sweet, loving, breathtaking aroma of Christ?
  • “I choose Christ.”

May we do likewise

Thursday:  Blessed Doesn’t Mean Easy – Sarah ends the week by bringing us back to “giving thanks” for being in a mismatched marriage or any problem, for that matter, that we encounter.

Our natural tendency, as Sarah pointed out, is to focus on the problem and not the blessing God is trying to show us, or the lesson He would like us to grasp.  However, that doesn’t help or fix the issue.

Sarah challenges us to “turn your thinking around and see it through God’s eyes.  Look out, because your whole demeanor is going to change. You will be happy, worry free, stress free.”

Sarah, herself, has started doing this in many areas of her life and, I quote:  “the transformation in me was almost instantaneous!”

May we do likewise.

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us during the first five weeks on our journey in Winning Him Without Words. Help us to Go Forward remembering as we go, that “we can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens us.” In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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