April 23, 2024

Captivating: Chapter 10 Review – “Mothers Daughters Sisters”

March 15, 2013 by

I am going to start off by telling you that I did not really want to read this chapter. I have put off reading it, until I could no longer. But God….

On Monday, Jackie reminded us that some of us might not have fond memories of our mothers because of the pain our mothers may have caused. She said that no matter what happened in our past, a mother/daughter relationship is the most important of all. It is the relationship that helps us when we grow up and become mothers ourselves.

On Tuesday, Tonya shared with us that the redemption and healing of a relationship is possible. Through some of the most difficult situations and circumstances God will rebuild ties that were severed forever. He will mend together the pieces of our heart that we thought were not able to be fixed.  Redemption is possible. Healing is possible.

On Wednesday, Cariss reminded us that we did not have to give birth to be a mother. All we have to do is care about someone, offer a listening ear to that person, and encourage him or her to simply be who God created them to be.

On Thursday, Michelle reminded us that an important aspect of a successful relationship is your own personal security of  your identity in Christ. Fallen women want people to come through for them, they have been hurt so they withdraw to avoid further pain. Redeemed women know Christ has come through for them, and are freer to give of themselves and ‘put themselves out there.’  They know they are valuable and secure in the Lord, so they are able to be vulnerable.

Girlfriends, I told you earlier that I put off reading this chapter. A lot has happened in my life, and a lot is still happening, where it concerns my mother. Today I am just so blessed to say that I serve an awesome God. When we choose to trust God and forgive without being forgiven by those who are supposed to love us the most, God can make us whole, He can use us in His Kingdom! He will come through for us!!!!

**********

Let’s Pray:

Father, what a privilege to be in Your presence again. We need You all the time. Help us to mother those who are in need of love, direction, or just companionship.  Amen.

**********

GWS

Our next Women’s Online Bible/Book Study begins March 24th!  Click on the Girls with Swords book above, complete the registration process, and we will email you further details!  We hope you will join us for this amazing study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Captivating: Chapter 6 – Forgiveness and Healing (pp 102-105)

February 13, 2013 by

Look at the title of this blog.  Do you realize that you can’t have one without the other? Those two words are not mutually exclusive.  Ladies, you cannot have the whole healing Christ offers freely without not only accepting His forgiveness, but offering it to those who have hurt you as well.

I was a very emotional child.  I would carry around hurts of “he said, she said” or “she talked about me behind my back” or “he gave me a dirty look” all of the time.  I carried those burdens.  In fact, I still do.  I still find it hard to let go of things when people hurt me.  In those times of intense anger or hurt, I remember what my beautiful mother always told me.  “Take the stone out of your own eye, Carissa.”  This principle she taught me comes directly from Scripture.

“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” Matthew 7:5 (ESV).

Our authors discuss this point as well:

“It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves.  They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy.  They were, in fact, pawns in his hands.  This doesn’t absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did.  It just helps us to let them go—to realize that they were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war against femininity.” (pg. 103)

Helps put things in perspective, doesn’t it?  Our enemies are not the people who hurt us…it’s Satan.  He’s the one who causes evil in this world.  He’s the snake behind The Fall of Adam and Eve.  Yes, the responsibility is still ours; we make wrong choices daily.  But, be assured that one day, we will all be held accountable for our actions and words before God.  He will judge; He will right all wrongs.  We are accountable for ourselves, not for anyone else.  So that is why Jesus calls us to “forgive as the Lord [forgives us]” in Colossians 3:13.

When we forgive, a burden on our heart is lifted.  So what burdens are you still carrying?

WhenWeForgive

 

Once we forgive and let go of those hurts, we can receive fully the healing promised by God.  David, tortured by his oppressors, praises God in Psalm 23.  Meditate on the truth below today. God loves you and will heal your broken heart!

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

For You are with me,

Your rod and Your staff,

They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

In the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

All the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

Praise Him,

Carissa

_________________________

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, You are so magnificent! We praise You, Father, for Your endless mercy and forgiveness because we deserve nothing.  Help us to forgive those in our past, present, and future. Heal our hearts, Daddy.  We love You, and know that You promise complete healing if we ask.  In Jesus’ precious Name, Amen.

 

Your Assignment:

What’s holding you back from offering forgiveness to those who have hurt you?  Please share so we can pray with you!

_________________________

 If you would like to send a private message to Carissa in regards to this blog, please email her at: Carissa@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Take the Radical Route

December 13, 2012 by

 

“Does it seem too unrealistic for today’s woman to set her sights on a knight in shining armor?…A single friend (a modern Ruth) wrote a letter in which she admitted that her high ideals often made her feel like the “Lone Ranger.” She said, “So often I meet women who don’t want to go the deeper, more radical route of separation from our culture in seeking after God’s standards.” Do we lower our standards because we seem out of step with all our peers? Does the woman in Proverbs 31 seem obsolete? Maybe for the “cosmopolitan” woman she is obsolete, but not for the Lady of Conviction. God has the best in hand for those who seek Him.

Ruth’s choice to wait for God’s best resulted in her union with a Boaz rather than a Bozo. Ruth not only married a man who was a “pillar of strength” (Boaz), but she also was blessed by the privilege of bearing a son (Obed) who would be part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. Ruth’s wise choices resulted in her experiencing God’s overwhelming goodness.

During this study, we have talked a lot about our convictions, setting standards that honor both God and our princess status, as well as sticking to those standards despite the condition of the world around us. If we live radically in our convictions, then we should expect opposition. Have you experienced any opposition from friends or family so far? What have they said? More importantly, how have you responded?

Let’s Pray

Father, we thank You for instilling Your Spirit in us, the One who convicts our hearts and draws us closer to Yours. Lord, You promise to uphold us as we follow You. So, Father, we want to hold You to Your promise and ask that You give us the strength to stand firm in our convictions when criticism, doubt, and peer pressure arise. Father, we can do nothing apart from You. Be with us always. We love You, Jesus. In your precious name we pray, Amen.

Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge 

begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Avoiding Bozos

November 28, 2012 by

But, he seemed like such a “nice guy”.  How many times have we heard that?  How many times have I said that myself? I thought I had a Boaz, but after awhile the disguise fell off and the Bozo came out. I think we’ve all been there before.

Like so many things in life the difference between spotting a Bozo from a Boaz boils down to the condition of our hearts. Three aspects actually, our standards, our convictions, and our motives (yes, back to the motives!)

Oh, those motives, they seem to determine so many things in life. But they have such a large impact on our thoughts and actions that we have to constantly evaluate why we are doing things, why we are saying things and even why we  are thinking things. When it comes to dating we have to ask ourselves why we are dating who we are dating. Questioning our motives will impact our standards and our convictions in this situation or in others down the road; I believe that if our motives do not line up with God, then our standards and convictions won’t either.

God already knows why we are doing what we’re doing. He already knows why we’re dating someone. He wants us to see that we deserve more than accepting a date with a bozo because it’s been a long time since we were last taken out.  He knows we deserve more than dating a man who isn’t a Christian because the loneliness is growing in our hearts. He knows that we deserve a Boaz, and that a Bozo is not fit for a daughter of the King.

As a daughter of the most high, we can have standards that line up with His word, and yes those standards are high. But those are the standards our Father set for us, remember He has our best interest in mind, and wants us to have the Boaz that we deserve.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

_________________________

Let’s pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, again we are found examining our motives, why do we do the things we do, and why do we accept the things from people that are less than we deserve? Please help us to examine our motives before we act.  Please help us to line our motives up with Your will and Your word. We are daughters of the Most High, and as such You have set Your standards in place for our Boaz. Please help us embrace these standards, and thank You for only wanting the best for our lives.  In Jesus. Name, amen.

Your assignment:

I love how the Auburn University student wrote down her standards and carried them with her. We are going to refer back to this list for today’s assignment. Are there any characteristics that you want to add to your list? Next, make a list similar to this if you don’t already have one, what qualities and standards do you want on your list for your Boaz. Remember, these are standards that our Father has already placed here for us may seem high, but they are what you deserve.

_________________________

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Why Wait / Physical

November 6, 2012 by

 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body,

but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

When I saw my blogging assignment for this week, I began to pray because I knew what the Lord was asking me to do.  Speak and write the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.  I pray that you will open your heart to receive this truth and not feel in any way condemned.  I am writing out of love for you and to shield you from pain.

To start us off today, I want to present to you two scenarios. In the first place, have you ever wondered why when we taste something that is not to our satisfaction – we say it’s okay or it could have been better?  Or have you heard of a man or woman asking their partner to go and see a therapist because they feel that their partner is not good in bed?  The question that you would ask is this, how do you know that the food you are eating is not good or bad?  It’s because you have tasted something better!  In the same way the man or woman in the example above feels that the other is not good in bed because they have been with other people.  They are comparing their spouse with the girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s) they had in the past and they feel cheated.

Now imagine your wedding day – you have been looking forward to this day all your life, as a young woman you have dreamed how this day would be because you have been planning this for so many years.  The wedding ceremony was perfect, the food and drinks met your expectations and everyone is going to talk about how beautiful you looked for weeks or months to come.  Now come the wedding night – the honeymoon suite and everything else is so beautiful.  The mood is set for a wonderful evening but afterwards your husband asks you “honey, I thought I was your first!” Can you dare to look at him in the eye and say, I am sorry?

Let me also share some of the questions we received as leaders of the singles group I led at our church: –

How much is too much? –

We are engaged to be married, is it okay to spend the night at his place? –

I love him so I feel it is right to have sex with him as a way of expressing my love, is this ok? –

All my friends do it, why not me?  I will repent and God will forgive me. –

You don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive.  What if you find out that the person you have married has a deformity in this area?

At first I couldn’t believe I was getting these questions from young men and women who were Christians because I was naïve to think that “church folk” that were saved, who narrated the Bible back to back struggled with such issues.  I realized that if they had it together then we would not be tackling this topic.  When you are coming from the “world” you put Christians in a pedestal and expect that they know everything and don’t struggle with issues the rest of the world does. Girlfriends, when the Bible says “FLEE” it means “RUN”.  This is not the time to be asking if it should be a splint or a big walk or if it’s time to put on running shoes or wait until the water has reached the neck.   You just run!  I am saying this to address the above questions.  Don’t allow yourself to be in a compromising position and expect to stop when it becomes too much.  Our Father loves us so much and does not want us to get hurt as such He warns us to flee from such situations.

I am not sure if you have thought of having sex outside of marriage as sinning against your own body?  Well to be honest with you back then I didn’t know but now I know.  And although I also know that God has forgiven me, the sin has been laid at the cross and buried in the grave, I still have to live with the consequences of my past actions.  My dear sisters, I confessed Christ as my Lord and Savior at 19 but I never really gave all of my life to him.  As a young woman, I bought into the ideologies of the world and lived and did as I pleased.  I had one foot in the church and the other in the world.  I believed that if I loved someone then to express how much I love him, I had to sleep with him.  I wish I knew better.  I wish someone gave me this book to read back then. Beloved what you do now may look harmless but know for sure that you will reap the fruits of your actions.  “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.” Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones highlights that God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings. These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

These are just some of the physical reasons: –

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage. God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. –

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband. –

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility. A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicates the consequences.

I pray that you will not fall into the trap of “if you love me then you will sleep with me” like I did. Honor God with your body as much as you honor Him with everything else. For someone who has already gone all the way.  I pray that you will ask God for forgiveness and commit to be pure from this day forward.  The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Old habits, old fears, old addictions may approach and afflict us and sometimes we may want to turn back to them. But God is saying to us, “Fix your eyes on Me! If you will let Me be your victory, we will see the last of that.”

Listen to what God is saying!

__________

LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come before you with a broken and contrite heart.  I ask you to forgive me for sinning against you and my body.  I want a new start from this day forward.  I make this commitment to you and my future husband.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?

Be Blessed,
Jackie
_______________

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,