May 3, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles (Reading Assignment)

Last week we learned that we do not have to be perfect – we need to be authentic. Phew, what a relief! This week we are tackling the daily battles that arise in our relationships – how should we respond? What battles do we need to stand our ground on and which ones can we let go? Or do you feel like the character in the cartoon image and want/need to fight every battle, even to the detriment of your marriage? Ouch! We have a lot to learn this week and I cannot wait to get started!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Monday Nov 12 
Luke 21:14-15 – Pick & Choose Your Battles / Stand Up Shut Up – Beverly

Tuesday Nov 13 
A Transformed Life – Jennifer

Wednesday Nov 14 
Let’s Have a Word – Donna

Thursday Nov 15 
Speak Words of Grace / Receive Grace –  Sarah

Friday Nov 16 
Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, we know that this week’s topic may be a tough one for us to hear. We do not like to lose and we want to stand firm in our beliefs, Lord. But, God, we also want to have a healthy, loving marriage relationship with our spouse. Show us how to pick the battles worth fighting and letting go of the ones that we can agree to disagree on. Lord, it is by your strength that we do this. Just be with us as we look inward to our own actions and behaviors this week. Help us to change the things that we may need to change. Give us wisdom and strength to become the women and wives you have called us to be. In Jesus name, we pray Amen!

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Winning Him Without Words – Heart Tablets

“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on human hearts.”

2 Corinthians: 2-3

What is my message to the unbelieving loved ones in my life? What can I communicate with my actions today? Am I willing to let the Holy Spirit make his mark on me for the benefit of my unsaved loved ones?

I re-wrote these questions from the book and only changed them to make them personal for me. I needed to do that so I could ponder them and claim them for my life, so I could examine myself from them. Do I leave a Godly message for my loved ones? Are my actions motivated by my love of the Savior? Or are my actions done with the motivation that I can save them?? I pray not.

In our scripture today, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse. That because of our ministry to them they can have the Spirit of God written on their hearts if they accept Him. I’m humbled by that. Not only has the Spirit of God reached down and written on my heart, I can reflect Him in my words and actions. If they, our spouse, see this lived out in us, we could be the vessel God uses to bring them to Him! It is also somewhat daunting as well. But then I remember what Dineen says: “We can find tremendous comfort in the sense that it isn’t up to us to know what to say or how to say it.”  We have the Holy Spirit in us that helps us do that. We don’t have to rely on ourselves and be bogged down with what to do or say. That is a relief, and it gives us more reason to pray and stick close to God.

How many times have I tried to push the issue with them? Nagged and cried and begged?? Or even just sat back and was angry because they wouldn’t listen? Oh Boy!! I can think of many times! Not letting the Holy Spirit guide me, just pushing ahead without any direction at all! I need to stop and think, Would I listen to someone who is hassling me like this? Would I see a loving, caring God in that tone? I’m thinking  NOT!  What I need to remember in that moment is that I leave a permanent impression on my loved one whenever I am speaking to them.

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke, we see the father in this story giving his son free will and an early inheritance. Off goes the son and blows all the money then hires himself out a s slave to someone because of a famine in the land. He ends up feeding PIGS!! Even desiring the food he is feeding them! He finally comes to his senses and remembers that even his father’s hired hands have food to spare. So he goes home and repents, offers himself up to his father as a slave and what does the father do?? He throws his arms around his son and quickly organizes a party for him. How awesome is that? Now, obviously, this is my own interpretation of this Parable but as I read it I’m thinking I don’t hear his father begging him to stay or crying or nagging. No he just gives the son what he wants and let’s him go. I have to believe the son was brought up in a believing household. I’m sure he probably prayed his heart out, like any parent would, that he would return to him. And because the father lived out his faith and wrote on his heart, the son realized what the truth was and returned home to the father.

What I’m trying to get at here is that maybe taking a step back in our marriage. Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next. Let yourself be God’s love letter to them. Let the heart of Christ radiate out of you for them to see. We don’t have to worry about what to say. We just need to be willing vessels, ready to give God’s grace in the moment. God can only use us when we  yield to Him. Give them freedom to choose for themselves because of that reflection.

Purpose in your heart to be God’s message to your husband. Communicate love and grace to them ” letting the Holy Spirit make his mark on you for the benefit of your Husband.” When you do this you are honoring God and your husband. Ask yourself those questions at the beginning of our chapter and make them personal by putting your and your spouses names in them. Then implement that answer and let God shine through you!

Let’s pray:

God thank you for writing on our hearts today. We ask that you would radiate your Spirit through  us and let us have the honor of being your vessel and tool in the salvation of our spouses. May they only see you and not us. Give us willing hearts to be able to do this. Show us and give us the exact words and things to do to make this happen. You are faithful and loving. We praise you today for all that you are doing and will do. In Jesus name I pray – Amen

Your assignment:

I am purposing to do what Dineen says in the first paragraph of our chapter today-speak words of love to my husband and reflect Christ while doing so. What can you do that will speak to your husband today and how will you do it??

God’s blessings on your day,

Donna

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If you are interested in joining this “Winning Him Without Words” online bible study, please click HERE to complete the sign-up form.  You will need to purchase the book in order to follow along with us.  You can find details for the book on our sign-up form.

Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection for Authenticity – A Fine Linen Belt

This was another difficult chapter for me this week and I kept struggling with what God would have me to share with all of you. God is beginning to open buried places inside me that I have buried for years and I know that I have tried to be the “perfect” wife over all these years instead of what God showed me thru this lesson which is “Beverly I want you to be the authentic wife”, the woman who shows her true self that you were the day you said “I do”.   The one I want your husband to “see” because when he “sees” that, he will then see “me”.   Oh what an epiphany He showed me tonite about how sometimes I do just “show” God instead of “live” God in front of my husband.

In today’s lesson, we find a very interesting illustration.  God tells Jeremiah to buy a new linen belt and wear it around his waist. At that time, a linen belt was an intimate piece of clothing, comparable to the underwear of today.  After Jeremiah wore the belt, God directed him to take it off and hide it in some rocks near a river.  Several days later, God told Jeremiah to return to Perath and retrieve the belt.

After sitting in the elements, the belt that was once perfect and clean was ruined and completely useless.

The belt was symbolic of the people of Judah.  They were once a people who were close to God, just as the belt was once close to Jeremiah.  Over time, the people of Judah allowed pride to come into their hearts, and this pride was as damaging to the people of Judah as the elements were to the belt.  Eventually, that pride ruined them and rendered them completely useless to God.

If we are not careful,  we will be like the people of Judah in our marriages, we can allow the “elements” to damage our relationship with our husband.  We can start to feel alone, left out, like we are just two people living in the same home together but separate and pretty soon, we end up ruined and completely useless as someone who can reach inside our husbands lives and hearts.    We need to make sure we “stop and pay attention” to what we are saying and doing in our marriage and being sure we are being the living representation of Christ in our homes.

That doesn’t mean being perfect, it means being authentic!

As I was with my mom and sister this weekend during one of our bible study evenings my mom broke down and shared some things in her life that happened about 50 years ago that she had no idea that either of us knew, it was so relieving to finally hear her tell this story.   I have been knowing this about 15 years, however, she had no idea that I knew.    She finally had some break thru moments that evening, because she was being “authentic” with us after all these years.

Here are a few things that came to my mind as I studied this lesson that I think we need to be reflecting and showing our husbands:

  • Our hearts – what is in there
  • Our minds – what are we thinking
  • Our soul – what are our desires

Understand I know that some of our husbands may not want to hear these things, but if we approach him at the right time and in the right demeanor (meaning we have taken it to God first before we hit him with it)   I truly believe he will be more receptive to hearing our authentic selves and not the pretend tiptoeing around spouse we are currently being.   As Dineen shared with us; I also know that many of us don’t have the freedoms to voice our beliefs to our husband but we can live boldly through our actions, and through knowing Christ is there with us thru every moment to speak to us and lead the decisions and our words.

Let’s pray:

God I pray for each lady this week as we stop and pay attention to what each day and each moment in our marriage is saying to us and that You help us to be effective  “fine linen belts” in our homes. In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:

Dineen shared with us that she asked God to connect the dots with this story He gave her in this chapter about how it related to being unequally yoked, and He gave her a picture of how the believing spouse can be that fine linen belt….    So after you read this lesson “trading perfection for authenticity” did God show you something specific to help “you” connect dots for your marriage, if so would you share your thoughts with us today.

 

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection With Authenticity

 

Trading Perfection for Authenticity — WOW!  What a chapter!  So much of this chapter stood out to me in ways that really caused me to think about my actions toward my husband.  It caused me to ask myself if my actions toward him were speaking the love of Christ, or the selfishness of Christi?  OUCH!!

Dineen said on page 100 that God has equipped us with the Holy Spirit to accomplish the things that He wants and needs for us to do.  All we need to do is listen and obey Him; be willing vessels for God to use in reaching our unsaved loved ones.  We should be encouraged to know that God can use each of us, in this way!!  As Dineen said, “He doesn’t “need” to; He “chooses” to!  He could change our husband all on His own, if He wanted to.  But He chose to use US, You and I, to be Jesus with skin-on to our unbelieving spouse, right here and right now!  I LOVE that!!!!

I won’t go further into this subject because it will be taking away from one of our bloggers this week who will be covering this topic.  But what I do want to do is share a video with you that I found.  It is an interview that is done with Lynn Donovan and a friend who is talking about how God used her to witness to her husband through the power of the Holy Spirit!  It’s a great video!!   I hope you will take the time to watch it all the way through!

You will find the link to this video HERE.  

PLEASE take the time to watch it!!  It will be worth the time!! I promise!

Before I give you your reading assignment, I do have a couple of questions for you.  Do you have a personal relationship with Christ?  Have you prayed for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?  Two very important questions because we need both in our lives in order to love our spouses the way God intended.  I know for myself that without the Holy Spirit, I would not be as effective in my marriage!!

I know this study is for women who are married to an unsaved spouse, but I don’t want to assume that each one of you have accepted Christ as your Savior.  If not, and you would like someone from our prayer team to pray with you, please send us an email to Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. One of our prayer team members will contact you and pray with you!!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 5 –  

Perfection for Authenticity / A Fine Linen Belt – Beverly

Nov 6 –

A Confession – Jennifer

Nov 7 –

Heart Tablets – Donna

Nov 8 –

Sacrificial Giving – Sarah

Nov 9 –

Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I am so thankful for You in my life, and in the lives of each of the marriages represented here today. Lord, I lift each marriage to You today, and I ask for Your special blessings to pour out onto each husband and wife, and upon our unsaved loved ones.  I ask Lord that You give each wife wisdom and direction in how to love her husband unconditionally.  I ask that You teach each wife Lord, how to submit and not to be afraid to submit to her husband.  Lord, reveal to her to that submitting to her husband is also submitting to You, Lord, because this is what You instruct us to do!

Holy Spirit, I invite You into each marriage that is represented here.  Indwell us with Your power as we learn to be the submissive wife the Lord calls us to be.  Holy Spirit, I pray for each woman who is reading this today and I ask that You speak to each heart.  For those who have not invited You into their heart, I pray their hearts will be nudged today, and they will seek You knowing now that in their own weakness, You can provide the strength they need to be the authentic wife we are each called to be!  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

Be Blessed,

Christi