May 2, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: What About the Kids? Where to start?

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not turn from it.  

Proverbs 22:6

 

As we wind down this study we come to last section of this wonderful book and that is “What about our kids” in this journey of our spiritually mismatched marriage.

(what do we do? Where do we start?)

My kids were not the ones who went to church every week with two parents leading them into the church building, or praying with them, or reading the Bible with them, nope it was just me.   Now I am not complaining mind you, but it would have been “wonderful” for both of us to do the leading.

When I had children I was constantly thinking how in the world am I going to raise them in a godly home when the home was not a complete godly unit…and then I remembered how my granddaddy used to teach me saying “Beverly, there is nothing you can do about others, you must just work on yourself, love Jesus yourself, and as He teaches you then you teach them.”

I listened to him and just like I did the 9 years of my marriage before having children I did the same after the children were born……I went to church and took my children with me so they could learn about my Jesus, and learn about WHO will be and make the difference in their life as they grow up.

Even though I took them to church I constantly thought:

  • Am I doing things right
  • Am I teaching them the truth
  • Will they accept Jesus as Savior one day
  • Will they learn to be a prayer warrior
  • Will they love Jesus
  • Will they wake each morning with a desire to live every moment for Him
  • Will they seek a godly mate for their life
  • Will they love God’s Word and want to spend time getting to know Him

My children were learning about God and getting to know Him…both accepted Christ as Savior and then the first big day came when my daughter left for college and then all those same thoughts began creeping back in my head…..except a few different ones…now my thoughts were:

  • Will she remember what she learned growing up
  • Will she stick to the truth in this world of peer pressure
  • Will she not give in to the idea of dating just anyone but continue her commitment to seeking God for her life mate
  • Will she still remain in God’s Word

Oh so many thoughts were swirling around in my head and I could not seem to get enough of wanting to know that she was not straying from the path she was taught.

Then I got the call…the phone call….Mamma I met this guy that I really like….go to the school BCM website and look at his picture….he is so cute Mamma….and I told her hmmmm….let me take a look and so I did…..and my first thought was REALLY?  HIM?  (you know we all do that, those initial judgmental thoughts just based on someone’s looks)……and let me say right now……

 MY JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS WERE WRONG

 This was the man God set aside for my girl….as her life mate….at that time he was the campus missionary at the college she attended and 3 years later they were engaged/married,  now he is the youth pastor at the church they attend…..and oh how God is moving in their life…..and just think if I had done my normal mamma meddling I would’ve been messing up God’s plan for her life.

So here we are, one child trained and on the path God set for her…..but still one more at home and still my same thoughts creeping in now for this one…

In his high school years my son began showing the same aspects as my husband (not wanting to go to church, I had to “make him go”)  and then the day came when he went off to college…..and here I go with my thoughts again…..and now these thoughts were way different from when my daughter left home….because now that he was in the thought process of “not wanting to go to church”  I knew that the peer pressure of the world would start sinking in heavy on him…..and yes that is where he is now…..NOT GOING….NOT SERVING….not following that path he had been taught as a child…..

 BUT….

 I have the wonderful promise of Proverbs 22:6 that I cling to that He will turn to it……and as he comes home for visits/holidays he sees me continuing to love and serve Jesus, he sees me living out what I taught him all the young years of his life.  He has watched me in times spent in study/devotion…..this has and is the silent witness to my son. He has heard me lifting him up in prayer to God–this is the audible witness to my son.

I await that day to see his faith has not wavered, that he remembers the training he received growing up and that he will make the Lord “priority” in his life.  And I await to see/hear when he says “yes Lord I am here ready to serve” I have not given up….

Oh, What a day that will be!

 So to answer the question of this lesson today; Where to start?   Here’s the answer from Pg. 170 of our study. Help our love for Jesus be so contagious; it can’t help but rub off on our loved ones and when our kids see us loving God in this way, they will love Him too!

 

Let’s Pray:   God I thank you for each lady that has been a part of this study and I pray that your love will seep out through our daily life in subtle effective ways that will influence our children, in your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:  Share any thoughts that God brought to your mind as you studied today’s lesson about our kids?

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles (Reading Assignment)

Last week we learned that we do not have to be perfect – we need to be authentic. Phew, what a relief! This week we are tackling the daily battles that arise in our relationships – how should we respond? What battles do we need to stand our ground on and which ones can we let go? Or do you feel like the character in the cartoon image and want/need to fight every battle, even to the detriment of your marriage? Ouch! We have a lot to learn this week and I cannot wait to get started!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Monday Nov 12 
Luke 21:14-15 – Pick & Choose Your Battles / Stand Up Shut Up – Beverly

Tuesday Nov 13 
A Transformed Life – Jennifer

Wednesday Nov 14 
Let’s Have a Word – Donna

Thursday Nov 15 
Speak Words of Grace / Receive Grace –  Sarah

Friday Nov 16 
Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, we know that this week’s topic may be a tough one for us to hear. We do not like to lose and we want to stand firm in our beliefs, Lord. But, God, we also want to have a healthy, loving marriage relationship with our spouse. Show us how to pick the battles worth fighting and letting go of the ones that we can agree to disagree on. Lord, it is by your strength that we do this. Just be with us as we look inward to our own actions and behaviors this week. Help us to change the things that we may need to change. Give us wisdom and strength to become the women and wives you have called us to be. In Jesus name, we pray Amen!

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection With Authenticity

 

Trading Perfection for Authenticity — WOW!  What a chapter!  So much of this chapter stood out to me in ways that really caused me to think about my actions toward my husband.  It caused me to ask myself if my actions toward him were speaking the love of Christ, or the selfishness of Christi?  OUCH!!

Dineen said on page 100 that God has equipped us with the Holy Spirit to accomplish the things that He wants and needs for us to do.  All we need to do is listen and obey Him; be willing vessels for God to use in reaching our unsaved loved ones.  We should be encouraged to know that God can use each of us, in this way!!  As Dineen said, “He doesn’t “need” to; He “chooses” to!  He could change our husband all on His own, if He wanted to.  But He chose to use US, You and I, to be Jesus with skin-on to our unbelieving spouse, right here and right now!  I LOVE that!!!!

I won’t go further into this subject because it will be taking away from one of our bloggers this week who will be covering this topic.  But what I do want to do is share a video with you that I found.  It is an interview that is done with Lynn Donovan and a friend who is talking about how God used her to witness to her husband through the power of the Holy Spirit!  It’s a great video!!   I hope you will take the time to watch it all the way through!

You will find the link to this video HERE.  

PLEASE take the time to watch it!!  It will be worth the time!! I promise!

Before I give you your reading assignment, I do have a couple of questions for you.  Do you have a personal relationship with Christ?  Have you prayed for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?  Two very important questions because we need both in our lives in order to love our spouses the way God intended.  I know for myself that without the Holy Spirit, I would not be as effective in my marriage!!

I know this study is for women who are married to an unsaved spouse, but I don’t want to assume that each one of you have accepted Christ as your Savior.  If not, and you would like someone from our prayer team to pray with you, please send us an email to Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. One of our prayer team members will contact you and pray with you!!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 5 –  

Perfection for Authenticity / A Fine Linen Belt – Beverly

Nov 6 –

A Confession – Jennifer

Nov 7 –

Heart Tablets – Donna

Nov 8 –

Sacrificial Giving – Sarah

Nov 9 –

Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I am so thankful for You in my life, and in the lives of each of the marriages represented here today. Lord, I lift each marriage to You today, and I ask for Your special blessings to pour out onto each husband and wife, and upon our unsaved loved ones.  I ask Lord that You give each wife wisdom and direction in how to love her husband unconditionally.  I ask that You teach each wife Lord, how to submit and not to be afraid to submit to her husband.  Lord, reveal to her to that submitting to her husband is also submitting to You, Lord, because this is what You instruct us to do!

Holy Spirit, I invite You into each marriage that is represented here.  Indwell us with Your power as we learn to be the submissive wife the Lord calls us to be.  Holy Spirit, I pray for each woman who is reading this today and I ask that You speak to each heart.  For those who have not invited You into their heart, I pray their hearts will be nudged today, and they will seek You knowing now that in their own weakness, You can provide the strength they need to be the authentic wife we are each called to be!  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

Be Blessed,

Christi