May 2, 2024

Lady in Waiting: Emotional, Relational, Spiritual

I honestly don’t know how to get started here. I didn’t even need to see the sections I was writing on this week before thoughts began to pour into my head, all I needed to see was the word “purity”. And it made me freeze. How can I write to women about purity when I see my past as tainted, when my purity is a thing of the past. Then I got quiet and prayed. This isn’t the first time I have had to use my past to speak to others, and yes I am no longer pure in regards to my physical state, but God has forgiven me and washed me whiter than snow. This is how I can talk about this topic. It doesn’t make it easier by any means!  The consequences of my actions are still something I deal with, but I can stop myself and pray, knowing I am forgiven, and that the lessons learned will help someone else.

I became pregnant with my daughter at 17 and had her when I was 18. I wasn’t married. I have dealt with the emotional, relational and spiritual consequence these sections speak about, I think a lot of us have.

God gave us a gift when he tied our emotions to our physical state.  It enables us to love hard.  It drives us to give our all to the one we’re with. But that gift only works the way it is designed to work when we are with the one God has chosen for us, and under the bond of marriage. It is stated more than once in this section that God wants to protect us; protect us from a broken heart, protect us from condemnation, protect us from fear, from resentment. It also lists doubt, depression, bitterness and mistrust. I remember feeling all of these after purity was no longer one of the characteristics I possessed. He wants to protect our hearts and minds from these negative emotions that sexual promiscuity will bring.

This section further defends the thought that women are complex creations. Yes ladies we are complex, we have many layers, we are hard to understand, and at times we can be complicated. This is not a bad thing. It is part of Gods security system for us. But have you ever set off an alarm by using the incorrect code and haven’t been able to turn it off? That’s what premarital sex does to us. It sets off an alarm that only God can turn off.  But instead of a screaming noise, our emotions, relationships, and spirituality are screaming.  Our internal alarm systems need the right code.

 The code of Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 The code of Colossians 3:1-2

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above,

where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.

Whether it is one night, or a long term relationship, premarital sex negatively effects three of the most important aspects of a woman’s life. Emotional. Relational. Spiritual. We are God’s ladies in waiting. When situations present themselves that deal with the topic of purity, take a conscious step back and think of the impact it will have on these three areas.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Lets Pray:

Thank you Lord for the security system you have placed within each and every one of us. Thank you for your forgiveness and redemption. Lord please touch our hearts when we are facing different situations and bring to mind how much you value our emotions, relationships and spirituality. Thank you for protecting us.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Your assignment:

I listed some codes I use when I’m faced with certain situations or when Satan tries to remind me of my past.  What are some scriptures you turn to when purity is concerned?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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About Tonya Ellison

Tonya Ellison — Blog Contributor
Tonya comes to us from Rio Rancho, New Mexico where she lives with her four favorite people, three kids ages 4, 6, and 9, and her husband of seven years, Jamel. Her hobbies include writing and reading, crocheting, and spending time with her family. She earned her BS in Human Services/Management and works as a Bereavement Counselor.

Comments

  1. coleen hayden says

    so thankful, tonya, that you wrote, "God gave us a gift when he tied our emotions to our physical state…But that gift only works the way it is designed to work when we are with the one God has chosen for us, and under the bond of marriage." truly ONLY when we choose to live life on God's terms do we receive the vast wealth of blessing that He has intended for us.
    ladies, please consider the things communicated in this chapter deeply…please ask God through the holy spirit to 'enlighten the eyes of your understanding' so that you can know HIS heart in this matter.
    (thank you, tonya, for opening your life to us and sharing!) <3

    • We have to ask God to open our eyes and hearts. This is a tough subject and with out asking for that our flesh might take over and we won't hear what we need to hear.

  2. Jackie Chingawale says

    My code is 2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he (she) is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

  3. My Code is: 1 John 1:9 — If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and CLEANSE us of ALL unrighteousness! Thank you for your transparency Tonya. I know sharing things like this is not always easy, but your message can certainly help others struggling with the same areas in their own life!!

  4. Thank you for sharing!!!! I love how God uses EVERYTHING for His glory! You would never have these wise words to share if it werent for what you went through. I am thankful for you! My code is Psalm 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. I LOVE THIS VERSE, the first time I read it I sobbed in thankfulness to God to taking away all of my shame. I list this verse in my blog for friday:)