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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 2 – You CAN Insist That Boys Treat You Well

November 20, 2012 by

When you CAN do something it means you are Able, Permitted, Possible, or Designed to do something.  That is pretty awesome to think that I was designed to be able to insist that people treat me well.  Does that mean that every person in my life WILL treat me well?  Uh, NO!  Do I have to accept that behavior from them?  Uh, No.  So, why would I let a boy treat me any less than God created me to be?  Uh, WOW.  Do you know what the past tense of CAN is??? COULD.   Could hurts me to say.  Could means that I made a bad choice and, if I could go back, I would change what happened.  Could usually comes with regret. 🙁

In our home, if we have a hard time deciding if something is right or wrong, we take it back to the Bible and see what it says about the subject.  When we have friends or family members who treat us poorly, we look to see if our behaviors have lined up with the scriptures.  The verses we go to about relationships is 1 Corinthians 13.  It’s called the LOVE chapter.  We all want to be loved and want to love other people, so why not seek out what LOVE is from the source, GOD.

 So the Bible says this is what love IS.  Anything that doesn’t look like this is NOT love and you can WALK the other way or INSIST to be treated with love.  Sometimes that is hard to do.  We may have to walk away from our friends or that cute guy that we want to like.  We may have to stand up for ourselves and tell our ‘friends’ (and sometimes our family) that we don’t want to be treated in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable.  When we deal with our friends and family, we also need to follow these verses and treat them with LOVE.

If a young man wants your attention and wants to love you, he will make you feel smart, funny and pretty. (And not because of what he can get from you)  He will never ask you to do anything that will make you ashamed or feel dirty. (Love does not insist on its own way, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing)  He will want you to spend time with your friends and family and would even want to hang out with you.  (Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it is not arrogant or rude)  Boyfriends should draw you closer to God, not pull you away from Him.  (Love rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things)  Boyfriends should always make you feel good inside; not sick, worthless, jealous or angry.  (Love endures all things)

When you are a teenager it is hard to find a boy that can measure up to all these standards.  Sometimes you want to lower your standards just to have someone you can call “yours”.  Each time you give your heart away, you lose a little piece of yourself.  Most teens are not able to love someone else more than they love themselves. That takes maturity and maturity comes with living life and seeking God.   It is almost impossible to find a teen boy who loves you the way God created you to be loved. It’s OK to wait for that person God has been preparing just for you.

In my family, with so many daughters, we have many different opinions on the topic of dating and boys.  Some of my daughters want to wait to have a boyfriend, to hold hands, to kiss someone; to give him her heart until she is ready to be married.  Some of my daughters enjoy having a young man to call her own and share her “life” with.  A couple have gotten tired of waiting, tried to make it happen on their own and have had broken hearts.  I love them all and continue to point them back to 1 Corinthians 13 to help them decide if they are being treated with love and if they are treating others with love.  There is no cookie cutter answer about having a boyfriend because girls are not cookies.  =D

In our study, Ava Sturgeon says, “As a daughter of worth, you should expect to be treated well.  Dating the wrong guy is a tragic waste of you.  God’s beautiful potential.”  How true!  Protect your heart.  You are going to need all those pieces of yourself.  If you find that your heart is already broken into little pieces, take them to God and let Him put them back together.  He will.  It’s not too late.  He wrote the book on LOVE, so trust Him to show you what perfect LOVE looks like.

If what you are seeing and receiving from people does not match up with what the Bible says you deserve – turn around and head back toward God.  You are on the wrong path.  That leads me back to my life verse, Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your paths”. 

You CAN insist that boys/men/parents/siblings/friends treat you well.  You CAN treat them well in return.  It’s not too late to get on the right PATH facing God’s direction.  Be blessed my friends.

Let’s Pray:

Father we thank you for creating us with the desire to be loved and to want to love others.  Lord we want someone to love us the way YOU love us.  Father, give us patience to wait on the person you are preparing for us.  Give us people in our lives who support us, care about us and protect our hearts.  We know that you are the source of all love and good things and that is what we want for ourselves and for our friends.  Help us to always look to you for guidance and keep our feet on the right path.  We love you, Lord.  Amen

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Winning Him Without Words: Travel The Road of Forgiveness

November 20, 2012 by

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Bitterness, resentment and anger over unmet needs. These are all kindling for unforgiveness and I have gathered them all. When someone does something that hurts me, I am unable to tell them. Confrontation is too difficult for me. I am a “nice” person and a “nice” person does not argue or complain. That is unless you are my husband. When he does something to irritate me, I’m all about letting him know about it. It’s that “word” thing again! My mouth opens like a flood gate and all sorts of “you should’ve known better” and “you don’t care about me” accusations come bursting out. In the world, people say releasing that anger is cleansing. But not me. After I lose my temper I am left with feelings of guilt. I know I shouldn’t act that way and I am embarrassed of my actions. That guilt turns into resentment towards my husband because if he hadn’t made me mad in the first place, I wouldn’t be feeling so lousy now. So I stay angry, resentful and bitter and can’t even fathom forgiving my husband for making me angry.

Ugh. How exhausting that kind of marriage can be. So to change this endless cycle I have had to pray, and I’ve had to pray HARD because forgiveness is hard! When you feel jilted your human instinct is to get even, it’s the insult for insult, eye for an eye mentality. But God doesn’t want you to act like that. He wants you to give it to Him!

Especially when you are trying to speak with your unbelieving spouse. I recently had a discussion with a friend who is an unbeliever. I was astounded that he truly does not believe in God and I know he was just as perplexed with my views. It makes it very hard to have a civil discussion when both sides believe so strongly in their views, doesn’t it? Insulting, angry words will be tossed around, tempers will escalate, feelings will get hurt. Things may be said that are very hard to forgive. And like I said above, forgiveness is hard, but not if you ask God for his help. Turn to Him and tell him of your hurts and ask Him to help you forgive your husband. By turning to God you are given the power of the Holy Spirit and through Him you can do all things! Even forgive!

When you forgive you gain freedom. Freedom from the hurt feelings, freedom from the frustration and anger. He takes it all from you and leaves you free to just love your husband as he is, because after all, that is what God wants us to do. He doesn’t want you to worry about your unsaved spouse anymore. Leave that to God & be your husbands fine linen rope.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, forgiveness is a hard thing to do, but we know how important it is, not only for a healthy marriage, but also for a healthy mind and body. Unforgiveness can eat away at us like a cancer if we let it. Reveal to us Lord the areas of unforgiveness in our marriage and help us to give them to You. Help us to heal from the past hurts and replace that pain with the feeling of freedom! In your precious name, Jesus, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Below I’d like you to talk about an area of unforgiveness in your marriage that  you may be holding onto. We will all pray with you to release it to God!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Wait – Ditches of Discontentment

November 20, 2012 by

 

“Then Naomi said, ‘Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today’” (Ruth 3:18 NIV).

Wouldn’t you want to have a mother-in-law like Naomi on your side to give you words of wisdom when it comes to matters concerning marriage?  Especially when the most eligible bachelor in town has told you that He would do whatever you want.

Waiting for what you want is difficult but it is the most rewarding thing any single woman can do in order to avoid discontentment.  So many of us have been led on by men who made promises which they knew they would not keep.

Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones address ways that we as women have been defrauded by such men of ill intention.  The word to defraud means to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

Many of us have fallen prey to men who have whispered sweet nothings to us and we have been led to believe that we are the center of their world only to found out later on that we were not the only ones these words were being spoken to.  I know of a man who called every girl “sweetheart” or “sweetie”.  When asked how many sweethearts he had he explained that he called his sister “sweetheart” so he considered every girl his sister.  Imagine the heartbreak of the girls when they heard that he thought of them as his sisters and not something more.

There is a recent type of defrauding that is going on called “friends with benefits” where boys and girls especially in colleges, or young men and women do not set any boundaries as to what they do in their relationships.  They even move in together and live as if they married.  The sad part about this set up is the emotions that a young woman puts into such a relationship.  I don’t believe a young woman can live with a man, share everything including a bed and say that such a relationship has “no strings attached”.  There are strings attached to this, where you like it or not, your heart is not detached to you when you are living in this environment.  A woman cannot be honest with herself if she says she is content living in this situation.  What happens when the man decides he is not ready to move this further and he is happy with the status quo?  Where does that live you?  Honestly which man wouldn’t be happy when he finds hot food on his table every time he arrives home from work or class, clean clothes nicely folded for him to pick and wear?  You literally wait on him hand and foot yet the only word he said was “let’s move in together” and not “let’s get married.”  The man gains everything at the expense of the woman who gives more than herself to play house with a man.

Unfortunately, this scenario is not only found in Hollywood movies but even among the Christian circles.  Many single women are falling into this trap which only leads to discontentment.  The Lord does not want us to sell ourselves short because we feel time is not our side.  Let us wait upon the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts.  Running ahead of the Lord will only lead us to discontentment and we will want to dig a hole and hide because we find ourselves in a situation where we wonder how we got there in the first place.

Naomi did not want Ruth to be overly excited and begin making orders for her “Vera Wang” wedding dress or choosing who is going to be her maid of honor or to begin planning a guest list.  She wanted her to wait and see how things will turn out with Boaz.  This is one woman to be applauded for having such wisdom.  Imagine if the other kinsman redeemer was willing to redeem Ruth and she has already told the world who she was going to marry!

When we are in a dating relationship, it’s so difficult to heed to the wise words of others; we seem to be walking on cloud nine and whenever someone says something we do not like we close our ears and words of wisdom enter through one ear and go out of the other ear.  It’s like all over sudden we are deaf to advise.  All we want to hear is how we look great together and how beautiful our children will be.  We only surround ourselves with people who agree with us and not those who want to tell us to slow down and concentrate on building a friendship.  It’s sad to hear “I told you so” when we come face to face with failed relationship.

As our writers clearly puts it:  “Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. This creates emotional turmoil for many women, making it difficult to wait with contentment. Postpone talk of a future together, marriage, or what kind of home you want, until engagement. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.”

Let us not fall into ditches of discontentment by allowing every Jim and Jack to mess with our hearts.  Don’t become too desperate so as to fall prey to their schemes.   Let us guard our hearts because out of them springs of water will flow.  Let us wait for what God has in store for us for Proverbs 10:22 says “the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, we thank you so much for you love us so much that you want us live a life that is full and content.  Jesus came that we should have life in abundance.  However, we also let the enemy use others to come and steal, kill and destroy the joy and contentment that you died for us to have.  Help us to take back this joy so that we may wait patiently for what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A contented woman has the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing life on her terms. Are you a contented woman? (Read Judges 21:25, Luke 1:38, and Matthew 26:39.)

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 1 – You Can Choose the Right Guy to Date

November 19, 2012 by

When I was younger I liked guys all of the time, but I never dated any of them.  In fact they never knew I liked them and it was ok because they never liked me.  Anytime I would talk about guys and my dad would over hear he would say, “Is he a Christian?”  I used to get so annoyed with my dad for throwing in that comment any time I would talk about something as simple as a crush on the cute guy with a pretty smile in my math class.  Only after I started dating someone who was most certainly not a Christian did I wish I would have listened to the advice my dad had given me on dating years prior.

As a teenager it is so hard to truly want to listen to your parents.  You hear what they say, but you want to figure things out for your own.  You want to take risks; they want to stop you from that type of behavior.  You want to try new things; they want to tell you not to because they have been there done that and you just should not be doing certain things.  Even though we cannot see it at the time, our parents are stopping us from things because they love us.  They do not want to see us make mistakes.  I know I wish I would have listened to my parents more than I did.

I know the feeling you get when you find out a guy likes you.  I know how good attention from guys can feel.  There is one feeling that is way beyond what those ones may feel like: the love God has for you.  Do you know how good that feels?  If you do not know, I highly suggest that you spend some time getting to know God so you can find out first hand just how amazing it is!  When we truly know God’s love for us, it will make us want to find the man God has for us and not settle for any guy that thinks we are pretty or who gives us attention from time to time.

Have you ever thought about what you want in a man?  Have you ever thought about what a relationship should be like?  Try writing down a list of qualities that you would like in a man.  (See page 105 and 2 Corinthians 7:1)Keep that list and pray about it to God.  When you are in a relationship ask yourself, honestly, does this relationship bring you closer to God or pull you away from Him?  If you hold out for a man who has the qualities you have been praying for- chances are you will grow closer and closer to God together!  Any relationship that brings you closer to God is definitely a good one to have.

Personally, I struggled with dating.  I never thought that there were men out there that would be what I wanted (someone who loves God, goes to church, reads the Bible, is kind to others, and will love me as Christ wants someone to love me).  So, as my high school years came and gone, I decided that I needed to change my standards.  I ended up settling for an older man who was not a Christian.  GIRLS, this was the biggest mistake I have ever made.  I ended up stuck in an abusive relationship.  I KNOW now that waiting for the man God has for us-a good guy who is devoted to God will come our way!  God will bring you together in His timing.  It is so important to hold out for that man.  And the best part is while you wait-you have the opportunity to grow closer to God and experience so much of the perfect love He has for you!

Please remember that you are not defined by what guys say or by how they make you feel, if you are getting attention from them, or getting no attention at all.  The only thing you are defined by is the love Jesus has for YOU!  You have the privilege to CHOOSE the man you go on a date with.  Make sure you make God apart of your choosing process.  Praying to Him to lead you to the right man will save you from heartache and the pain of dating the wrong one!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you so much that you love us with unconditional love that no man will ever be able to replace.  I love that you have handpicked a man for us if that is your will in our lives.  I pray that these girls and I are able to hold out for this man.  I pray that we never settle for less than the best you have for us.  As these girls start to date, I pray that they choose wisely the men they bring into their lives.  May they seek you in each decision they make.  We love you so much and thank you for guarding our hearts.  AMEN!

Much Love to YOU all,

Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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GCH:What’s on Your Plate? – Roasted Winter Veggies & Broccoli Craisin Salad!

November 19, 2012 by

Thanksgiving week!  Oh boy…here we go!  Don’t you just love it?  I do.  My favorite foods on the table are always the side dishes.  So this week I am going to share two recipes.  Maybe one of them might even end up on your table this year!  Both of these recipes also fall into the healthy but oh-so-yummy category, too!

The first recipe is for Roasted Winter Veggies.  I love roasted veggies…the melange of colors, and textures, and flavors; the nicely caramelized bits; the few little pieces that hover just this side of burnt!  Making roasted veggies is a very forgiving recipe, too.  I have the veggies ready to go into the oven the moment the turkey comes out to rest and be carved.* There are a few basic ingredients; but then you can add and subtract to your heart’s content.

Ingredients:

1/3 cup olive oil

1 medium butternut squash, halved, seeded and peeled

1 large Vidalia onion, peeled

3 large Yukon Gold potatoes  (or 4-5 medium red potatoes), peeled

1 bag (12-16 ounces) carrot chips (or baby carrots)

1# brussel sprouts, trim end off and remove outer leaves (if large, cut in half)

1 small head of cauliflower, trimmed and cut into 1+1/2″ florets

12 ounce pkg Baby Bella mushrooms, stemmed and cleaned; cut into appropriate size

3 medium red beets, peeled (rinse your hands after handling the beets..unless you like a pink tint to your nails and fingers!)

1 tablespoon each: sea salt,  freshly ground pepper

 

Directions: Prep the veggies, washing anything that needs it. Place two really large low-sided roasting pans (sometimes called cookie sheets with sides) into the oven and preheat oven to 425. Cut everything into approximately 1+1/2″ pieces; don’t cut the veggies too small as all they will shrink a bit while roasting. Just try and have everything fairly close to the same size.

Place all the veggies, EXCEPT for the beets, into a really large bowl (or stockpot). Pour most of the oil over the veggies (add the rest if necessary), add salt &pepper, then gently mix together making sure to thoroughly coat each piece of veggie. Pour onto the heated pans. Then place the cut-up beets into the bowl stirring to coat, and add them to the veggies on the roasting pans. It is important that the veggies are not piled up on one another. You do not want them to steam but to roast.  They should be in a single layer. It might be very snug but they will shrink slightly as they roast.

Roast for 30-35 minutes ‘til the most dense veggies are done when poked with a fork.  I like to <attempt> to turn the veggies over after the first 15 minutes; that way more sides of each piece will caramelize; yum.  Be fairly quick during this turning process as you don’t want to leave the oven open very long!  Once you have determined that they are done, remove from oven.  Turn off the oven.   Carefully taste, adding additional salt and pepper (I always add more!) and place into your serving bowl.  <3

A few other things to keep in mind:

If you are preparing this recipe…and there is nothing else in the oven…follow the directions in the recipe.  HOWEVER, if you are making this on Thanksgiving Day: put the pans into the oven for about 10 minutes before you take the turkey out.  Then while the bird is resting, and being carved, and the gravy is being made, the veggies can be roasting. When the turkey is removed, bump the heat up to 425.  Fill the heated pans, and place them back into the oven.  Roast the veggies for approximately 30-35 minute, check that the densest veggies are done and, if so, remove the pans from the oven and turn off the oven.

At this point, if the meal is not ready to be brought to the table, place the veggies into a serving dish, and place back into the oven ‘til you are ready to go. Other veggies to consider: asparagus, broccoli, parsnips, sweet potatoes, fingerlings, fennel. Leftover roasted veggies?  (Hard to believe, but…) Use them as the key ingredients to roasted veggie lasagna, roasted veggie chowder, roasted veggie omelet or frittata, roasted veggie burritos…the list could go on and on.  These are particular dishes I have made.  How kind would you be to yourself but to have one of these chosen as a quick and easy meal to come home to after Christmas shopping-til-you-drop?

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

And here is the recipe for the second side dish: Broccoli-Craisin Salad.  This is a beautiful raw salad, a very healthy but oh-so-yummy addition to the side dish array on your Thanksgiving Day table.  It has a slightly smoky (from the bacon), slightly sweet (from the honey), slightly tart (from the vinegar), very mellow taste.  I have had MANY supposed broccoli haters be prompted to try just one tiny taste…only to find they enjoy it and come back for more!  We enjoy this salad all year long!  Hoping that your family enjoys it, too!

Ingredients:

2 heads broccoli crowns, cut into small florets*

1/2 pkg Craisins (dried cranberries)

6 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled

1/2 red onion, very thinly sliced

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2  cup sour cream

1/4 cup honey, warmed

2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

1 cup sunflower seeds

freshly ground pepper

 

Directions:

In a small bowl, stir together mayonnaise, sour cream, honey, and vinegar; set aside. In a large bowl, combine first 4 ingredients. Take mayo mixture and pour over broccoli mixture, tossing gently to thoroughly coat. I pour the dressed mixture into a large zip-top bag to go into the fridge.  Every once in a while, give the bag a flip-over and a couple of squeezes to massage the yumminess all around!

Then when your meal is ready to go onto the table, just pour the salad out into a serving bowl.  Easy-peasy!

Should be prepared at least 4 hours beforehand, up to 8 hours or so. Just prior to serving, stir in the sunflower seeds and ground pepper to taste.

* The biggest hint I can offer to you for this salad is to cut the broccoli florets as small as you possibly can.  I consider it a labor of love and, oh, so worth it!  It is MUCH more palatable to have little florets in your mouth as you munch on this salad rather than a large hunk of broccoli!  Trust me!  You can do the chopping ahead of time, even a day or so, and simply store in the fridge. 😉

Honestly, I have been known to sit in front of the television while doing it! <3

Have a wonderful, thanks-filled Thanksgiving Day! May we each always remember how very much we have to be thankful for and give thanks to the One Who so perfectly and abundantly and graciously provides for our every need!

Psalms 30:12

To the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever. <3

God loves you!  and I do too.

Coleen <3

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Lady In Waiting: Contentment – The Torture of Desire – The Capacity to Wait

November 19, 2012 by

 

God gave this section of the book to me.  I couldn’t be more sure.  Some of the words the authors use are the exact same ones I said to my friend just two days ago.  I struggle with contentment.  It is an area where I think, “I got this!” just to stumble when an email isn’t returned or I lay alone in bed crying a few days or weeks later.  So many times I think I have surrendered this issue to Him.  Then I feel like I failure when I find myself doing things that take me out of God’s will regarding being single.

Can anyone relate?  I love the example they use to define suffering: “Having what you do not want (singleness), and wanting what you do not have (a husband).”  Now I know and understand that not everyone feels that suffering, but for those that do, how do you cope with such a longing?  If you continue to focus on what you do not have, you will always feel that loss and discontentment.  We need to start putting our focus on God and all that we DO have.  Something jumped off the page and practically knocked me over the head when I read it: If you are presently discontent as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future. You know what?  Life is never on our terms, God’s plans will always be hard to understand, and we cannot get caught up in the downward spiral of negativity and “not haves” no matter what stage we are in life.  Starting to renew and transform our minds to this fact are the beginning stages of finding contentment in the Lord and His plans.  The verse that immediately came to mind was Romans 8:28.  I love the way The Message states it: That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  If we trust in that, contentment comes a lot easier.

Ruth had every reason to feel discontentment.  Instead of wallowing in her circumstances and focusing on the loss of her husband and leaving her people, she chose to cling to the God whom she trusted despite everything that had happened.  In following God’s leading and working in the fields every day, Boaz was brought to her.  Even in this situation, with Boaz seemingly ready to “do all Ruth asks”, Naomi cautions Ruth to wait and see how everything actually turns out.  Instead of getting caught up in all the excitement she is asked to sit back and wait and see what Boaz actually does.  Wouldn’t that be hard to do?  God calls us to wait often.  Most of the time we don’t know why, but we need to place our trust in Him fully and completely and believe that it will be worked into something good.  Be content ladies.  Focus on the good.  Be grateful.  The “torture” will lessen and the waiting won’t seem so bad.

LET’S PRAY

Father God, you love each and every woman reading these words.  You have a plan for each of us.  Sometimes it is hard not knowing what that plan is, but I pray today that we remember your faithfulness rather than focusing on what we don’t have.  You have provided for us, you have gifted us, and that is where we want to fixate.  Please help renew our minds so that the waiting and our circumstances are not what we focus each day, but all the blessings that you have given us that day.  Thank you for your never ending care.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Today I want you to list 5 blessings you are grateful for.  If you can relate them to your single life, even better!  We have to remember that this season in life is not all misery and negativity; God gives us many gifts through our single life, things that not everyone else can necessarily experience at other stages of life.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Move from Hurt to Healing – The Seasons of Marriage

November 19, 2012 by

The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?

Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:

Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.

Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.

Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.

Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.

As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.

This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.

Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check  and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.

Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.

Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….

Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..

As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were,  as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”.   The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn.   You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.

You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God.  The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time  in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.

We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy.   We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.

Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.

Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!

Let’s Pray:

God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray.  Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,

Beverly

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Contentment (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by

 

Precious girlfriends, how are you doing?  I hope you are allowing the truths that we are learning in this Bible study transform your life to the glory of the Lord.  I am so blessed to hear from some of you how the study is making you grow into the women that God wants you to be.  I can also testify that this book is life changing and I am learning so many new things from each chapter.

This week we are going to learn how to become a Lady of Contentment.  This chapter will help us answer questions like – How does one become content as a single woman in a world full of couples?  How do you help a friend who starts planning a wedding just after a first date?  Have you been defrauded by yourself or a boyfriend?  Do you know what the Eleventh Commandment is?

The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 teaches us the Secret to Contentment.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

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Here is our reading assignment for Week 8

November 19:

Lady of Contentment / Torture of Desire / Capacity to Wait – Michelle


November 20:

Wait / Ditches of Discontentment – Jackie


November 21:

11th Commandment / Prenuptial Fantasies – Tonya


November 22:

Spiritual Monitor – Tonya


November 23:

Mystery of Contentment / Stop Arguing with the Umpire – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Our Heavenly Father, we thank You each day for leading us to this Bible Study.  Thank You for teaching us new truths that are helping us become the women You desire us to be.  As we continue in this study, we ask You to continue to transform our minds so that we can be content with our lives as the Apostle Paul was.  We ask all this in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 8: Dating With Discretion

November 18, 2012 by

 Proverbs 2:11-12

Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you…

A few words from Megan…

My dear friends….. PLEASE, please, please listen carefully to the lessons from this week in our book A Daughter’s Worth. This week is all about exploring the rewards and responsibilities of letting God be your matchmaker….. and accepting God’s plan for your life!

I know there is so much pressure in your day-to-day lives from friends and the media telling you that you MUST have a boyfriend. I can understand you WANTING one… I wanted one too, when I was your age. I wanted one so badly (because all of my friends had them and I felt left out…) that I didn’t make the best choices in dating. As an adult, I am still dealing with the insecurities that came from those relationships, too. I was too impatient and was not willing to hold out for what GOD had for me, and I pray that through studying God’s Word this week, you will be EMPOWERED by all of the things you CAN DO through God’s supernatural strength in dating.

This week, we will explore how….

  • You CAN choose the right guy to date
  • You CAN insist that boys treat you well
  • You CAN go too far
  • You CAN handle a difficult break-up
  • You CAN enjoy being single

…And on Saturday, we will continue with Coleen’s series: Lord Teach Us To Pray: Part 9

A few words from Morgan…..

Hey girls… hope you are having a good week! This week is all about boys and relationships, which I have never done! I’ve never had a boyfriend but I have learned that God has such an AMAZING guy out there for you and that at the right time, He will reveal him and show you who you are supposed to be with. This week we will also talk about how you shouldn’t settle for less! You are a princess in Christ and you should find a man of God that will treat you like that and nothing less, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t ever lower your standards or not insist that you are treated right. So, I just want to do a prayer for this week that is along the lines of what I pray constantly. It has helped me just be content with being single.

 Let’s Pray:

Dear God, thank you for the man of God that You have planned out for me and that You have found for me, God I just pray that You will give him strength to wait out for me, and if not, I will always love the same. God, give him comfort, and God please give me comfort. I pray that you will help me not settle for less, and wait it out for the right guy that You have for me. Thank you so much, I love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

It’s just a simple little prayer, and even shorter at times, that I pray for my husband because I already know that I will love him so much. God has a plan, girls!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #8 – Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons of Marriage (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by


I am really looking forward to this week’s chapter. There is a lot to dig into and what better time to talk about forgiveness in our marriages than during Thanksgiving week? The time we sit down with our loved ones to give thanks for all that we have. Take some time to soak in this chapter as your go about your Thanksgiving preparations. Ask God to meet you where  you are and for His help to overcome any unforgiveness you are experiencing.
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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 19
2 Cor 1:3 Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons in Marriage
– Beverly

Nov 20
Travel the Road of Forgiveness
– Sarah

Nov 21
A Front Row Seat / Discovery / Prayer
–  Martha

Nov 22
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

Nov 23
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

 

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Let’s Pray: Lord, forgiveness is hard. But we know that we are commanded to forgive because you first forgave us. Help us to lay aside our own feelings and to truly forgive our spouse for any wrongdoing they may have committed against us. Please heal the bitterness and resentment that have taken root in our hearts which have prevented us from forgiving. Reveal your will to us, Father. Meet us where we are as we go into this week. Give us peace and strength and help us to place our full trust in You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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