November 25, 2024

“I AM” Chapter 5 – Day 1: Who I AM in Christ

August 5, 2013 by

Memory Verse:

Heb4_16

___________________________________

I AM Accepted…

I have a dream that burns within my heart.  I was very young when I first felt the fire of that dream.  Its warmth has kept me going down a different path that separates my way from the world.  Even in church circles I am different.  A square peg trying to find my way through the round hole.  Maybe you are too…and never realized it.

As a Christ-follower I never really understood why there were “denominations” of believers. To me, a denomination is a mathematical term used to quantify or an English term used as an adjective to describe the more superior word (noun).  Why do we need denominations in the family of God?  My experience has been that denominations are exclusive, divisive and, well, negative.  You must join, perform, and perpetrate the belief for that church  to flourish.

A few years back, my “word of purpose” was Unity.  There should be unity in the body of Christ.  Unity in the Church (with a capital “C”).  Does this thought ever cross your mind?  Look at what the Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:4-6:

“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

UNITY means we are all ONE.

Jesus established the Church.  The members of the church were followers of the Way (John 14:6).  The Way is a person: Jesus!  Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, the Lord of All.  When we each stand before God we will be asked  ”What was your relationship with Jesus?”  The question will NOT be “What denomination did you belong to?”  The question will be “Who do you belong to?”

When Paul stood before the council of Jews (as reported in Acts 24) he talks about his experiences and commitment to the Way.  He was asked about his beliefs because they were radical.  Paul lived his life following Jesus’ example.  He was “All In.”

There is another word that describes someone who strives to live like Jesus:  Christian.  Because Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah and the Son of God, He is known as Jesus Christ.  Those who choose to live life by His example can call themselves Christians.

Unfortunately, the world hears the term “Christian” and thinks “Pharisee,” “Hypocrite,” and “Judgmental.”  Do those words describe your walk with the Lord?  If we truly live our lives like Jesus, we will show love and compassion, grace and mercy, and generosity.  The world will want to know us and our Savior.  Jesus’ life changed the world.  Jesus living in you will change the world also.  Let’s change our world in Jesus’ name and live it by His example.

Jesus gave us a gift.  Have you accepted it yet?  Just like with any new gift, we have to learn how to use it properly.  Apply yourself to learning who Jesus is and what His life was about.  Jesus will Rock your World!!!  So, back to denominations…

Paul, in his letter to the church in Corinth addresses the division in the church over which leader they were going to follow (1 Corinthians 1).  The man leading the church was not as important as Jesus Christ as the head of the church.  The Corinthians received correction over their wrong thinking.  We need to check our allegiances, too.

If this topic of Unity of the Body of Christ has sparked an interest for you, please read First Corinthians Chapter 1, ask God to give you an understanding of being “One with Christ,” and a part of a larger body of believers (The Church).

Look at these words of beauty and warning:

“Every word of God proves true.  He is a shield to all who come to him for protection.  Do not add to his words, or he may rebuke you and expose you as a liar.”

Proverbs 30:5-6

“And I solemnly declare to everyone who hears the words of prophecy written in this book:  If anyone adds anything to what is written here, God will add to that person the plagues described in this book.”

Revelation 22:18

These words are from the book of wisdom and the best friend of Jesus.  Follow the Great I AM.  Accept His Gift, it’s free.  Learn the Truth, follow the Way and let Him show you how to LIVE.    You have been chosen by Jesus.  You have been ACCEPTED into the family of God.  What is your response to Jesus?

We are a City on a Hill.  We are to be shining the Light.  We are ONE.  United we will Stand. Divided we will FALL.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Jesus,

You are the Christ, the Messiah, the One who gives us Life and Love, Grace and Mercy.  Teach us to love like You.  Help us to accept our place in Your Church body.  We all have a part to play as we reach the lost for You, Lord.  Open our eyes so that we can see where we have gone astray.  Give us the desire to be one with our brothers and sisters.  May our love for You bind us together and the divisions be erased.  We want to be the Church—Your Church, ONE CHURCH.  Father, gather Your children home.  Thank You for making us that City on a Hill leading the lost to You.  We love You, Jesus.

AMEN

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Overcoming Bitterness with Hope

August 2, 2013 by

GL header

Coach Megan,

I won’t go into all the details, but I know that I have been burying a lot of anger for a long time now and now it is at the point that it is hard for me to be hopeful for change. It is hurting me so much and many of my relationships as well. I pray you can give me some direction. Bless you, K.

My Dear K,

Thank you for reaching out and I do pray that these Biblical answers will be helpful to you in this desperate situation.  What I heard lying beneath your cry for help is that you are struggling with bitterness, which is powerfully pushing you down into a ditch of despair.  Signs of bitterness can be subtle at first, but very soon it swirls into a chaos of complaints, unforgiveness, depression, sustained grief, hopelessness, and even rage against God.  Most people find it difficult to admit that they are bitter….  They say things like “I’m not bitter, but I just can’t forgive him!” or, “I’m not angry, but it’s just not fair.”  Bitterness is buried anger that has become stuck in resentment and unresolved anger is like a big, heavy chain that ties us to the past.

Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that
no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

When you are struggling to overcome bitterness, you must:

  • Believe that it is possible, with God’s help, to get rid of all of your resentment.
  • Know that you are not a helpless victim of other people, circumstances, or events.
  • Take personal responsibility for your attitude of bitterness.
  • Confess before God that you are harboring anger.  Express your true desire to overcome the bondage of bitterness.
  • Search your heart for the past events or people that embitter your heart, then release your right for revenge.
  • Understand that only a close relationship with Jesus can give you the love and confidence to let go.  Leave your vengeance to the judgment of God.
  • Cultivate a heart of forgiveness toward others that allows you to experience God’s total forgiveness of you.

Putting your hope in Christ will keep you from being wrecked by the crushing events of life. Although your anchor is unseen, you will feel it’s pull and know it is holding you.  No matter what storm you might be presently enduring or might soon be encountering, if your anchor is Jesus, your anchor will hold!  Extraordinary benefits await you when you hold on to the hope He offers… benefits based on the promises of God, benefits both in this present life and in the life to come. You cannot earn or deserve the benefits of hope…they are a gift of grace to you based on the Lord’s great love for you.  His Word shows us what these benefits are as HIS blessed hope…

Generates faith and love in you

Colossians 1:4-5

because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people—
the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven
and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel,

Causes you to live a pure life

1 John 3:3

 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

Inspires you to persevere with endurance

1 Thessalonians 1:3

We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith,
your labor prompted by love,
and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Uplifts your downcast soul

Psalm 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Causes you to praise God

Psalm 71:14

As for me, I will always have hope;I will praise you more and more.

Anchors your soul

Hebrews 6:19

 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain

Gives you reason to rejoice

Romans 5:2

through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.

Establishes your security and safety

Job 11:18

You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Guarantees your eternal life

Titus 3:5-7

he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
whom he poured out on us
generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace,
we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

 

Blessings,

Coach Megan 🙂

Filed Under: Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I AM” Chapter 4 – Day 2: Jesus is The DOOR

July 30, 2013 by

 

Memory Verse

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you

and that your joy may be complete.

 John 15:11

_______________________

We walk through doors each day.  We go into the store, into work, and into our homes.  If we think about it, we are constantly walking GFCH-Doorthrough an entryway of some sort.  Those are physical doors with frames we can touch.  I have never thought of the Great I AM as a door.  I have never fully read the Scriptures that were listed today either.  I have to ask myself, ‘When I wake up what door do I enter?  Am I entering through a door of safety, of security and peace?  Am I entering into THE DOOR?  Or am I entering into the door of the world—the door of frustration, fear, strife, or of anything else that may be waiting to steal, kill, and destroy?

 John 10:1-19

 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.  But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus used this illustration, but they did not understand the things which He spoke to them.

Then Jesus said to them again, “Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.  All who ever came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them.  I am the door.  If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.  But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.  I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.  As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.  And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.

“Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”

Three times. That’s how many times Jesus had to remind us of who He is to us.  That’s how many times He has to remind us that we need Him to guide and direct our lives.  And this was just in this chapter!!   I had to ask myself how many times in my life has He had to remind me of this?  How many times have I been reminded after I tried other ways, false doors, and wrong turns?

I am a sheep.

I am helpless without Christ.

I walk with my head down and don’t know where I’m going most of the time; I get lost.

I have almost walked off of many cliffs.   God’s grace saved me.

I am an easy target.

I am fearful and defenseless.

Without the I AM, I am without a door.  I am without access to the life I was meant to live.  I am susceptible to harm.  Without a door, the thief that comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy has an open invitation to my life.

As I was reading today’s lesson these words touched my heart:

“Jesus is The DOOR.  We need to learn how to enter through The Door.”

 So often in life we ask, ‘Which way do I turn?  What do I do?  Who do I turn to?’  So often in life we look past The Door that is right in front of us…we try every other door other than The Door.

Teresa asks us this question:

 What does it mean to you that Jesus is The DOOR?

Truly think about this during the day.  What does this mean to you?

 _______________________________

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

So many times we search for a way through life.  So many times we look and look for the direction we are to go in.  Thank You, Father, for being our Door.  Thank You for opening the way to salvation, safety, love…to the path that You have created for us. Please forgive us for trying other doors, for trying to make our own way. You are our Door!  You are our Shepard.  In Jesus’ name, we pray.

Amen.

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I AM” Chapter 4 – Day 1: Jesus is the “I AM”

July 29, 2013 by

 

Memory Verse:

John15_11

___________________________

I am full of questions today.  Why is it important for people to know us?  What difference does it make if people REALLY know who we are?  Does it hurt us when people get the wrong impression of us?  If I needed someone to write my life story, what kind of person would I choose to do that for me?  How would I go about finding someone who could accurately portray Who I Am to other people?

If you are still following along with us after three weeks of learning who the Great I AM is through the Old Testament, then hold on to your seat, because Jesus is going to ramp up the study!  Jesus was like that, you know.  Wherever He found people, He would push them outside their comfort zone, challenge their beliefs and get them to really see themselves for who they really are.  Have you begun to look at yourself a little differently yet?

As we cross the Bridge from the Old Testament to the New Testament we walk across 400 silent, unholy, mixed-up years.  God is preparing the world stage for the coming Messiah.  The people were living life the way they wanted to, making gods of whatever they found valuable to them at the time.  The Bridge crosses a silent ocean of godlessness.  The picture of the Bridge in my mind sags in the middle.  The first part is downhill, bottoms out at a very low point and then there is an uphill climb to get off on the other side.

Look at our memory verse for the week.  It is John 15:11.  If you notice in your study guide, there is a typo in the “I AM’s” of Jesus.  It should read John 15:1 for that section.  As I began to prepare for the study, I had all these questions, so I took them to Jesus.  He turned that typo into our memory verse for the week and the answer to ALL my questions.  He will do that, you know.  There are no dumb questions when you seek Him with ALL your heart.  He will give us the answers we need so our JOY will be FULL.

  • Why is it important for people to know us?  We were placed on this earth for a purpose.  If we don’t share ourselves with others, we are missing our purpose.  Don’t miss your purpose for living.  Share your life with others.
  • What difference does it make if people REALLY know who we are?  If you do not show them who you really are, they will make up their own story.  Some of it may be true, but it cannot ALL be true.  Truth is important!  Let others into your life so there is no question where you stand on important matters.
  • Does it hurt when people get the wrong impression of us?  Absolutely!!!  There is nothing more painful than having someone tell a lie about us and have others believe it.  It hurts even worse than when the story is true.  We can grow through that pain, too.
  • If I needed someone to write my life story, what kind of person would I choose to do that for me?  I would want someone who was known to be truthful, honest, and fair.  Someone who had taken the time to get to know me and my heart.  Someone who would not back down when others had a different story to tell.
  • How would I go about finding someone who could accurately portray Who I Am to other people?  I would take the time to reveal myself to others so they could make up their own minds about me and let them write the story based on their own experiences with me.  Each story would be different and unique—just like the relationship between us.  By reading the stories of each writer, others would be able to get a fuller picture of who I really am.

Who did Jesus choose to reveal His character to?  He chose to share His life with strangers who HE turned into disciples.  He said, “Follow Me” and they did.  The disciples got to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of living life as Jesus.  Just like us, Jesus had best friends.  John was Jesus’ closest friend and gives us our first seven “I AM’s.”  If I truly want to know who Jesus is and what He is like, I want to talk to His best friends.

You are writing your life story RIGHT NOW.  What would those closest people to you be able to reveal about your character?  It matters, you know.  If you aren’t showing them the example you had hoped, there is time to make changes and reflect the Light inside you.  You can open the Door and offer Bread.  You can point people to the Way, the Truth and the Life.  Your story isn’t finished yet.  Finish it well!

__________

Let’s Pray:

Dear Jesus,  Messiah, Lord of ALL,

We thank You for making Yourself known to us.  Thank You for loving us in our sinfulness enough to give Your life for ours.  Thank You for showing us what it means to develop friendships.  I pray for each person seeking You today.  I pray they find You right where they are.  We allow You into our hearts so that Your Spirit can change us from the inside out.  We want to reflect Your Truth, Your Light, and Your Way.  We can feel that JOY welling up now.  Help us to reach the overflowing mark.  We love You, Jesus!

AMEN

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Encouraging Truth-telling

July 26, 2013 by

GL header

Dear Coach Megan,

I’m not so sure this is a “Life Coaching” question, but I am having a lot of trouble with my kids lying to me and to others. Sometimes it is even about things that I can’t think of any reason why they would even think to lie about! I’m not really sure how to proceed in guiding them except to punish them for lying. I hope this is something you can help me with. If it matters, my kids are middle school and high school aged. Thank you! ~A

Dear A,

I have coached many clients specifically on parenting and parenting relationships…and this is a wonderful question I am happy to give you guidance on. While I believe that lying is part of a development stage for many children, I also know that you need to be careful when punishing for this as it can cause them to dig in their heels even deeper!  In younger children, they will even form “wishes” in the space of a lie. Because your kids, specifically, are older, I am going to encourage you to help them in a similar way that I would even coach you to manage dealing with adults who are not telling the truth. I have five young adult children myself, so I understand your frustration and your heart to want to help them!

Typically, liars don’t see themselves as liars. It typically comes down to the fact that they are just trying to get their needs met. When our God-given inner needs for significance and security are not met {especially in childhood} the tendency is to try to meet those needs illegitimately. That being said, the two primary causes for lying are:

  • Feeling insignificant and lying to appear more important. “I need to change the truth because the real truth doesn’t sound important enough.”
  • Feeling insecure and lying to keep from looking bad, stupid, or inadequate. “I need to change the truth because if I speak the truth, I’m afraid of what others will think of me and do.”

The fact is that the Lord promises to meet all of our inner needs.

As Christians, we need to tell the truth all the time because Jesus lives within us and He is the Truth!

He will empower us to overcome lying so that we can reflect His character!

Encouraging truth-telling in difficult situations:

1. KNOW that you CANNOT please everyone!

Galatians 1:10

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?
Or am I trying to please people?
If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

2. KNOW that you are NOT responsible for everyone’s feelings!

Proverbs 9:7-9

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.
Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

3. KNOW that you CAN speak the truth in a loving way!

Ephesians 4:15

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

4. KNOW that you are not a perfect person… No one is perfect!

Isaiah 53:6

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way;

5. KNOW that you are not accountable for how others respond to the truth. You are accountable to God to tell the truth.

Romans 14:12

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

It is important when you talk to your kids about this, you explore the Scriptures together and try to get them to reveal what God’s truth is about this for themselves. Do not judge, do not condemn…lovingly guide them to God’s truth on this subject and leave room for them to make good choices with whether to tell the truth or not.  It is a CHOICE.

It is also important to understand that even “white lies” dirty the conscience and darken the prospect for transparent relationships. To help them on their path to recovery and exchange half-truths for honesty,  it is helpful to look at what God has to say about it:

  • His consequences for lying and His hatred for deceit {Psalm 5:6}
  • Determining to be totally honest with God and freely admit your failures {1 John 1:8}
  • Discerning your areas of personal temptation…to stop and think before you answer {Psalm 141:3}
  • Deciding that you want your life to reflect Christ, Who lives in you {Romans 8:29}
  • Depending on the strength of Christ within you to enable you to change {Philippians 4:13}
  • Delighting in speaking the truth, which is more rewarding than telling lies {Proverbs 28:13}

What I always say to my kids is that when you tell a lie, you might “look” better…at least you HOPE you do….  But when you tell the truth, you FEEL better as you reflect Christ in YOU!  🙂

Blessings to you and your family,

Coach Megan 🙂

Filed Under: Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I AM” Week 3 – Day 2: Check Your Attitude

July 23, 2013 by

Memory Verse

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:19

________________________________

I find myself telling my kids to check their attitude; how to do things we’re asked to do is just as important, if not more important, than actually doing it. If Girlfrineds Coffee Hourwe do things with a negative attitude we may as well not do it at all. The other day I asked my older son to help his little brother tie his shoes. After some huffing, puffing, and stomping over to the other side of the room the task was being completed, but no one was happy about it!  The older son was bugged about having to do it, and the younger son could tell that his brother did not want to help him.

I have to ask myself though, how many times God has asked me to do something and I have had a bad attitude about it!  How many times has my boss asked me to do something and I grumbled and complained. How many times I have looked at the daily tasks of being a wife and mother and have completed them with less than a positive attitude.

I don’t think God expects us to be unrealistically happy about everything, everyday. We’re a “why” people. Thankfully, we have a patient God who answers our why’s without punishing us, or saying, “Because I said so.”   As Teresa showed us, instead of being upset with Habakkuk for asking why, for questioning God’s motives and reasons, God took the time to show Habakkuk the beauty behind what He was doing.  He showed him the goal that He was accomplishing.

“God is patient to let us ask our questions, process the answers and apply the knowledge to our lives.”  Having questions isn’t a bad thing when we come to God honestly, and with sincerity.

Habakkuk 1:2-4 (NKJV)

O Lord, how long shall I cry, And You will not hear?
     Even cry out to You, “Violence!” And You will not save.
Why do You show me iniquity, And cause me to see trouble?
     For plundering and violence are before me; There is strife,
     and contention arises.
 Therefore the law is powerless, And justice never goes forth.
     For the wicked surround the righteous;
     Therefore perverse judgment proceeds

Habakkuk 3:2 (MSG)

God, I’ve heard what our ancestors say about you, and I’m stopped in my tracks,
down on my knees.  Do among us what you did among them.  Work among us as you worked among them.   And as you bring judgment, as you surely must, remember mercy.

Look at the conversation between Habakkuk and God; look at the openness and look at the relationship between the two. Compare this to the words of Jonah:

Jonah 4:2-3 (NKJV)

So he prayed to the Lord, and said,
“Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still
in my country?  Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish;
for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God,
slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness,
One who relents from doing harm.
Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me,
for it is better for me to die than to live!”

“It is better for me to die than live!”—those are strong words.

When we’re asked to do something we have two choices.  We can either say “Yes, Lord.” knowing that sometimes that yes may come along with questions. Our patient Father is more than willing to answer our questions. Or we can turn the other way and spend time in the belly of a fish, not literally, but in our own way.

We are responsible for our attitude, and our attitude can change our outlook of the tasks we are given through life. I’m going to write this verse down and keep it with me; it will remind me that whatever happens God will make a way, He will provide for me. My job is to have a good attitude about the path He has placed me on.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NKJV)

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls –
  Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We are asked on a daily basis to complete tasks and do things in life that we may be less than happy about.  Lord, please remind us that instead of grumbling and running from the task, You will provide and make a way for the task to be accomplished, even when we can’t see that way. Thank You for Your patience.  Thank You for answering our questions. Lord, thank You for Your grace and for second chances when we run and complain like Jonah.  I pray when we’re asked to complete a task that we take the time to step back and pray, and check our attitude to make sure it lines up with You and Your word.  In Jesus’ name we pray.

Amen.

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Manipulation

July 19, 2013 by

GL header

Coach Megan,

What makes someone forget EVERYTHING you have ever done for them in their life when you are not able to do the one thing they are asking for now? Thanks for any guidance you can give. ~CW

Dear CW,

Manipulators tend to be very skillful strategists. They map out their art subtly steering and controlling people or circumstances by using indirect, unfair, or deceptive tactics. People-pleasing is at the root of being manipulated. Those who are manipulated allow others the control God alone should have. Exodus 20:3 says, “You shall have no other Gods before me.”

Manipulators control others by aggressive manipulation or passive-aggressive manipulation. What I hear in your question is that you are wondering why someone would manipulate someone else. This is not a complete list, by any means, but I believe this will give us a place to start…

Manipulators tend to:

  • Make others feel guilty
  • Get others to believe what they want them to believe
  • Keep others “hooked” into a relationship…even when the relationship is unhealthy and one-sided
  • Avoid meeting their obligations and responsibilities
  • Appear positive when they feel negative toward others
  • Set up “fixers,” “caretakers,” and “rescuers” to take care of them
  • Intentionally confuse others
  • Get others to do for them what they would not normally choose to do
  • Get others to feel responsible for them or for their welfare
  • Control the emotions and reasoning of others
  • Use religious words for personal gain, causing harm to another’s walk with God
  • Win the battle for control

Proverbs 26:24 describes the manipulator:

A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit.

At the root of people allowing themselves to be manipulated is the belief that they must have the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. What God calls us to is to NOT live for the approval of others, but to realize that God will meet all of our inner needs because he accepts us totally and loves us unconditionally!

Jeremiah 17:5

 This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,  who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord.”

CW…It looks like you have done a lot of work within to stop yourself from being manipulated. For the benefit of our readers (and for your benefit if someone tries to manipulate you again), here are some steps to help stop being a victim of manipulation:

Decide not to be dependent on the manipulator {Philippians 4:19}

  • You must decide that you have an unhealthy, dependent relationship and confess that to God. Decide that you only want  healthy relationships that glorify God. Decide that you will be dependent on the Lord to satisfy your deepest needs. 

Expect Exasperation {Psalm 31:3-4}

  •  Do not expect your manipulator to understand or agree with your decisions, acknowledge being manipulative, or be willing to give up control to set you free.

Prepare yourself for pain {Job 3:26}

  • Accept change as being painful… however in time, you WILL have peace.  Also, accept the fact that if you don’t change, you will stay in pain and peace will elude you.

Examine the methods of the manipulator {Proverbs 22:3}

  • Ask God to open your eyes to ways that you have been manipulated. Also, ask yourself, “How am I being manipulated?” and then write out your tactics for change. You can also ask a trusted friend to help you see blind spots and develop a plan of action.

Notify the manipulator of the necessity for change {Hebrews 12:1}

  • Admit that you have been wrong. It can sound like this: “I’ve come to realize that I am wrong in the way that I relate to you. At times, I don’t speak up because I am afraid. This is not healthy for either of us.”
  • You need to also give your commitment to them which can sound like this: “I really do care about you. I want you to know that I am committed to change and I believe that we can ultimately have a much better relationship.”
  • State your resolve to them if it is not appropriate to continue the relationship: “We cannot continue in a relationship as it is and still be the people we need to be before God.”

Don’t defend yourself {Ecclesiastes 3:7}

  • Even if you are accused of being unkind and unloving, you can choose to:
  1. Be silent, but do not use silence as a weapon.
  2. State the truth only once or twice: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” ” What you’ve said is not true.” “It does not reflect my heart.”
  3. You can say “I understand that you think I am being heartless, but my intent is to become healthy.”

Expect the manipulator to try new strategies {Proverbs 14:24}

  • They may resort to using other methods to regain control
  • They need to know you are aware of these new methods
  • They need to see that the new methods will not succeed

Nullify your need to meet all of the manipulator’s needs {Psalm 37:4-5}

  • Realize that God didn’t design anyone to meet all the needs of another person
  • If you meet all of the manipulator’s needs, then the manipulator will not need the Lord
  • You need to redirect the manipulator’s focus to the Lord as the only true need-meeter

Commit Galatians 1:10 to memory

  • Realize that you are “transformed by the renewing of your mind”
  • Recognize that you are given the mind of Christ to direct your thoughts

Yield to pleasing the Lord first {Psalm 27:1}

  • You must not be a peace-at-any-price person
  • Jesus was not a peace-at-any-price person
  • Keep your trust in God and fear no one

We need to give people the space to be upset and grow through their disappointment.  When we don’t, the danger is in people looking to another person to be God and be everything to them when that is the exact opposite of God’s design. We need to give God the space He needs to move and that is possible when we create and keep boundaries firm and stand on God’s Word.

Blessings,

Coach Megan 🙂 

Filed Under: Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I Am” Chapter 2 – Day 3: People Around Us Will See God

July 17, 2013 by

Perspective.

That word just grabbed hold of me during my reading of this section and it is just rattling around in my brain incessantly.  How we view our life circumstances and, more importantly, how we react to those situations and struggles will either reflect God’s saving power in our lives or show that we do not truly trust what He has done for us.

It is not easy to walk through this life. It can seem downright impossible sometimes. There are multitudes of things to worry about. It is difficult to see an unbeliever reaping what seems to be every earthly reward while you are suffering through heartbreak and distress. Why is this person getting everything they want or need and you are hurting so much you can barely get through the day? Doesn’t God care? Doesn’t He see?

Yes, He cares. Yes, He sees.

Girlfriends, no earthly reward will ever compare to the ultimate reward we have in Jesus Christ. There is nothing in this world that will ever compare to Him. No matter what goodies your neighbor gets, what new gadget your best friend has, or how much money they make, the only reward worth fighting for is the relationship you have with your Lord and Savior. Nothing is more important. Nothing.

How do you react when someone gets an earthly reward that you coveted? Now consider it from God’s perspective. Does your reaction, internally and externally, reflect the Lord’s power working in your life? Does it show that you fully trust Him with every decision, every moment, even if it does not go your way?

One of God’s many promises is to provide us with safety and security when we acknowledge His lordship over our lives. What is your vision of safety and security? God’s plan for you may make you very uncomfortable. It may pull you out of your comfort zone. It may not make you FEEL very secure at all. But, when God is fully in control of your life and you allow Him to lead you in the path He wants you to go, your relationship with Him deepens.  Your trust in Him increases. You trust in His protection and in His sovereignty.  You know that His plans for you are perfect and without fault.

Ladies, the Lord is calling you by name to walk the path He has set before you. It may only take a change in perspective to see the bountiful blessings He wants to pour out on your life.

*****

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,

We come before You today asking  for Your divine help. Our perspective on certain situations and decisions may be very clouded. Lord, please open our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds to Your guidance. Let us be open to a change of thought. Help us to see things from Your view and to focus on You instead of the situation that is plaguing us. We know it is difficult to walk this life, Lord, and we can only do it with You right by our side. Guide us, Lord, and give us eyes to see You and ears to hear from You. In Jesus’ Name we pray.

Amen

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I Am” Chapter 2 – Day 2: Seeing God in the Tough Times

July 16, 2013 by

We see God in the good times.  We see the blessings He gives us.  We see the provisions He makes for us, and we see all He does for us. He doesn’t have to reveal Himself in the good times, we see Him in abundance. But those bad times, the bad days, during the stormy seasons, He is not as visible. Not because He isn’t there, but because we allow the circumstances to block our view of God. We allow the situation to overshadow His promises. We try to fix our problems.

When I face tough times, I feel far away from God. I’m not implying that God has abandoned me or that He is leaving me to figure out my problems for myself, but I don’t feel as close or connected as I normally do. When I face tough times I have to intentionally seek out my Heavenly Father. In those tough times I need Him to reveal Himself to me. I need to see Him.

 “God  wants  us  to  rely  on  Him  and  only  Him  to  make  it  through our days”

This sentence stood out to me and made me look at how I handle my life in tough times. I will be the first to admit that when the tough times roll my way I do not always lean on God; sometimes my initial reaction is to lean on myself.  I try to figure a way out of the situation I’m in.   But thankfully, like with the Israelites, God does not get tired of repeating Himself.   He doesn’t lose His patience.  He doesn’t give up on me when I keep repeating the cycle over and over. He loves me through my good and my bad. My good behavior and my bad behavior.  My good times and my bad times.

God does not make bad things happen to us, but He does allow us to go through trials.  These trials bring us back to Him.  They cause us to seek Him for guidance and support. These times cause us to intentionally look for Him.  They remind us that we can not do it alone.  He uses these times to remind us that He is there and that we need to lean on Him.

 Ezekiel 20:7 

Then I said to them, ‘Each of you, throw away the abominations which are before His eyes, and do not defile yourselves with the idols of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.’

Ezekiel 20:42

Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I bring you into the land of Israel, into the country for which I raised My hand in an oath to give to your fathers.

Ezekiel 20:19

I am the Lord your God: walk in My statutes, keep My judgments, and do them.

I love this following reminder:

“If we look at the character of God in the Old Testament, we see a God who wants a personal relationship with us.” When we, when I, don’t give Him my good and bad times, I am limiting His power in my life; I am not trusting that He can handle the easy and tough seasons I will go through.

I want to make this one of my go-to verses:

 Psalm 34:8

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.

We need to be intentional about trusting God in my tough times. We need to be intentional about seeing God in our tough times.

___________________________________

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for not tiring of reminding us of Your love.  Thank You for not losing Your patience with us when we don’t seek You in our tough times. “You are the Lord our God.”  You desire a personal relationship with us. You desire for us to seek You when life is good and when life isn’t so good. Lord please help us to stand on Your word.  You are good, and we will be blessed when we seek refuge in You, in good times and in bad times.  Thank You for Your love.  In Jesus’ Name we pray.

Amen

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I AM” Chapter 2 – Day 1: The Great I AM in the Book of Ezekiel

July 15, 2013 by

Have you ever watched someone worship and wonder, “How do they do that?”  I have.  I think I have “worship envy.”  Maybe it was my upbringing in a conservative church environment, maybe I care too much what people think, maybe I have never totally surrendered myself to worship.  The reality probably lies somewhere in between.

As I read the Book of Ezekiel, I found myself in awe again of someone so sold out for God that he was willing to do whatever to get God’s message across.  Ezekiel was “All In.”

If God said lay in the street on your left side for 390 days and then on your right side for 40 days…Ezekiel did it (to teach a history lesson).  If God said shave your head and divide your hair into three piles to explain a prophecy…Ezekiel did it.  If God asked Ezekiel to NOT mourn the passing of his beloved wife as an example to the Jews…he managed to do it.

God said, “Teach” and Ezekiel had the responsibility to teach the captive Jews discipline to follow their God.  Discipline doesn’t always have a positive feel to it, so I looked it up for us.

Discipline

1)       Training to insure proper behavior;

           the practice or methods of teaching and enforcing acceptable patterns of behavior.

2)      Training that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.

The Israelites found themselves in captivity…again.  Sometimes we think God isn’t paying attention to our lives when times get hard.  I think it is just the opposite.  Those hard times are to drive us toward Him.  How do people survive without God?  We were created to need Him.  If we leave Him out then we deny a very important part of ourselves.

God sent Ezekiel to help the Jews adjust to their captivity.  He gave them hope to carry on and a way to return to a right relationship with God.  “God never forgets those who are faithful to Him” (pg 25).   He won’t forget you either.

Do YOU know Ezekiel’s God?  Ezekiel 16:62 says,

 “I will establish my covenant with you, and YOU shall know that I AM the LORD.”

God’s promise to establish His covenant was for anyone who would obey Him and follow His commands.  That’s what the name LORD means.

As we see in Ezekiel’s story, there is not one sedate and reverent way to worship God.  Neither is there always craziness associated with worship of the LORD.  Worship happens as we seek His face.  As we offer our lives to Him, He chooses how to express His love to us.  Give your life to the ONE TRUE GOD and be part of the Body of Christ.

If you search for the I AM, you will find Him…He wants to be found.

Let’s PRAY:

We come into Your presence to acknowledge that YOU are LORD.  You are Sovereign and You know what is best for us.  Thank You for loving us enough to reveal Your character to us.  Ezekiel has shown us that You can breathe new life into our dry, dead lives if we only have faith in YOU.  Change our hearts so that we can more fully submit to YOUR will and not ours.  We want to worship you in freedom.  Lord, teach us!  We love you, LORD.

AMEN

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »