April 16, 2024

16 Day Love Challenge: Chapter 8 – Love Is Not Easily Angered

16daylovechallengenotangryWhile studying for today’s lesson, I found this story (author unknown) that is just perfect to help teach us about this standard of “love.”

 A husband one day said to his wife,  “When I get mad at you, you never fight back.  How do you control your anger?” The wife responded, “I clean the toilet.”  He said, “How does that help?” To which she said, “I use your toothbrush.”

Ephesians 4:26 tells us:

In your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

How many of us have done this?

How many of us let anger control us?

Anger does not happen easily…it creeps in on us when we least expect it; and the first little thing that someone says will upset us and then we explode.

I was called into my supervisor’s office last week for a special meeting and in the first two minutes of the meeting I was devastated with her announcement.   I was so angry that I could not even speak, and then my insides were ready to burst.

I wanted to get out of her office quick.   Instead of blowing up and shouting out, I began to cry and just told her, “I need to go. I can no longer talk about this subject.”

I left her office, went back to my desk and began to read a Scripture that I had posted on my computer monitor.

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.
Psalm 141:3

I sat there reading it over and over so that I did not get up and explode and do or say things that later I would regret.  The more I said the verse and talked with God the more amazed I was that God was helping me to change my thoughts, my anger.  God was providing me the fuel I needed to squash the anger.

Anger is powerful.   James 1:19-20 says:

Everyone should be slow to speak and slow to become angry,
for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

How will we ever be able to live a life that pleases our God if we walk around with this kind of anger inside of us and not deal with it.   It will be just like a mouse running around on a wheel in a cage, or also as Cherie stated “we will be stuck in a continual rotation of frustration with everyone and everything around us”.

How can we show God’s love to this world, if inside us we have anger that is built up and ready to be unleashed at any moment?  When we fail to release our anger it will control us; it will even be who we become.

Love does not do that.  Love seeks to draw others. Love can’t draw when anger is present.

Love looks over the small things that creep up but anger magnifies the small things.

Think of the times in your life recently when you became angry with someone, and that anger then brought you to remember every wrong that person had ever done or said to you.  Going through this thought process is not “love in action.”

 “Love seeks to bind and to mend”

 Many of our angers are petty or personal, so we must learn to bottle them up and deal with them only with Jesus and not others for love’s sake,  then we can fulfill the commandment of God, in 1 Corinthians 13,  to “love and not be easily angered.”

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Let’s Pray:

Dear God, I pray for each lady who has studied this devotion today.  I pray that as they sought You, You were able to speak to them and show them if they are carrying around any anger that has affected their witness of You to others.  Help all of us, Lord, to seek, find and then to squash this anger out of our lives so that we can begin to show love, not anger towards others.  Help us, Lord, to be patient when others show anger and help us not to get drawn into it.  Help us to seek Your love that overshadows anger and—as You show us Your marvelous love—help us to show the world.  In Your name I pray.  Amen!

Esther – Chapter 6:10-11

Be honest.   Don’t you just LOVE it when hateful people get what’s coming to them?  Of COURSE you do!  Me too.  This is the part of the Esther story that almost makes me laugh out loud.   We see in verses 10 and 11 that Haman is utterly humiliated –publicly!  Can you imagine what that must have been like for Haman to dress Mordecai in the King’s robe and crown, and then have to parade him around town proclaiming “This is what is done for the man the King delights to honor!” (verse 11).  Haman (the man who, no doubt, made sure to tell anyone who would listen how much he hated Mordecai ) not only had to do this in front of his peers and subjects, Haman obviously was not the man the King delighted to honor!   In the chapter to come we will see the full extent of his downfall.  Take that, you jerk!

But even as I read the scriptures this morning, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my attitude and asked me a couple questionsIs this how you really are supposed to think, Robin?  Did I delight in Haman’s punishment?   

Wk6_Caddell_EstherWhoa. I just got checked by the Holy Spirit.  Time to take that thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Let’s answer the second question first…just so we’re on the same page.  The answer is NO.  Evil will be punished, because God is a just and holy God, and therefore cannot (and will not) tolerate sin.  He does not, however, delight in it.  2 Peter 3:9 says “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”  Do you see what the Scripture says –He wants EVERYONE to come to repentance. Even hateful Haman.  You know those people in your mind that are the worst scum of the Earth, ever?  He wants them, too.  Which brings me back to the first question the Holy Spirit is using to correct me (and perhaps you, too…).

Is this really how I am supposed to think?   Well, sisters, the answer is… no, not really. To know that evil will eventually be no more and that God will even out the score brings a great amount of comfort!  But let’s get back to the focus of this study, shall we?  Submission.  If I want to truly be more like Christ, if I want my will to decrease so that His will can increase in me (John 3:30), then I MUST submit my will, in all things. That includes wanting to get even or to get revenge.

Haven’t we all had a “Haman” in our lives, at some time or another?  Maybe not so drastic that they wanted us dead – but haven’t we all had someone who “got one over on us?”  Perhaps there is someone who makes your life miserable at work.  A “friend” who insists on outdoing everything you do, and rubbing your nose in it. Maybe you have a neighbor that HATES you.  Or maybe someone just cheated you out of something you worked hard for.  It could be something as simple as getting cut off in traffic!  But it could be more heinous – you or your family has been victim of harm or abuse.  The bottom line is, we all have at one time or another wanted to get revenge for an offense made against us.   We definitely haven’t prayed for God’s favor on that person!

But we should.

Romans 12:17-21 presents a challenging passage about love:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge, I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary, ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’   Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Wow – is that some heavy lifting, or what?  Give your enemy a drink if he’s thirsty?  I know sometimes I would rather hit someone upside the head with a full bucket of water than give that person a drink out of love.  But as I am called to be more like Christ, and as God keeps trying to skim out the garbage in my life to make me more pure, then I MUST  think of any offending person as someone that God desperately wants to reach for his Kingdom.  He doesn’t want ANYONE to perish, remember?  All people are created by God – in His image – and He wants all people to come to Him.  This is not going to be an easy one to master.  But forgiving someone an offense and PRAYING for those who persecute us brings us to such an incredible place of submission and humility that God can work miracles – in our hearts AND in our enemies!

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Let’s pray:

God, thank You for being a just AND loving God!  Thank You for Your forgiveness of my offenses and help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.   Lord, help me when I want to seek revenge for wrongs done to me and when I would rather wish harm on someone than good.  Pour me out so that YOU can increase in me. Help me to rest assured that my life rests in the palm of Your hand and know that You will avenge any wrong done to me – the daughter of the King!  May my words, thoughts and actions reflect Your love in my life – help me to be more like Your beautiful Son every day.  In His name we pray.

Amen.

 

Esther – Chapter 3:6-7

Anger_Wk 3_Ellison

But he disdained to lay hands on Mordecai alone, for they had told him of the people of Mordecai. Instead, Haman sought to destroy all the Jews who were throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus—the people of Mordecai.  In the first month, which is the month of Nisan, in the twelfth year of King Ahasuerus, they cast Pur (that is, the lot), before Haman to determine the day and the month, until it fell on the twelfth month, which is the month of Adar.

Esther 3:6-7

I can imagine the scene, Haman and his men, sitting around with their planners open rolling dice to determine when they would carry out their plan to kill the Jews, lives on the line, their fate being sealed by such a simple method, such carelessness. Hamen wasn’t pleased with simply plotting against Mordecai, “but he disdained to lay hands on Mordecai alone”

 dis·dain

1. to look upon or treat with contempt; despise; scorn.

2.to think unworthy of notice, response, etc.; consider beneath oneself: todisdain replying to an insult.

3.feeling of contempt for anything regarded as unworthy; haughty contempt; scorn

 Mordecai alone wasn’t worth his trouble, he was below Haman. “Instead, Haman sought to destroy all the Jews who were throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus”. All of them. That was quite a lot of people. There is a sentence in my study bible that caught my attention;  “a roll of the dice had no power to determine the destiny of God’s people”.

I can imagine the hatred that Haman had for the Jewish people, hatred so strong that he was compelled to try and kill the entire population, a people that had done nothing to him. A seed of hate was planted and that seed grew, it grew until he decided to act, I’m not sure if you have ever acted on a seed like this, but I have and I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t end well.

 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,

And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Proverbs 16:32

When I think of biblical times I think of a time where people had to defend themselves, men were expected to be physically strong whether they were tasked with farming or tasked with defending a city on battle. Women were expected to display a strength that allowed them to raise children, tend to her husband and run a home. Strength was a needed staple in life.

 Imagine now reading this verse, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty”. Slow to anger? But they cut me off. But they disrespected me. But they hurt me. “And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” But their words deserve a response. But I need to defend myself against their actions. But I need to prove that they can’t walk all over me. But. But. But.

But, we need to see where God sees true strength; it is not in the exertion of our power, the release of our anger. He is telling us that there is true strength in our self-control; there is true strength in patience and compassion, and grace.

Haman’s anger drove him to desire to kill; he allowed the anger, whatever the cause, to rule him. I’m not at all implying that we are going to copy his actions but, has your anger toward a person or a situation influenced what you said or did? We’re not rolling a set of dice to determine the outcome of a population group, but has it caused us to act carelessly? To hurt the heart or mind of another because we were acting on feelings.

Esther 6 and 7 are great examples of what not to do, what we shouldn’t allow to happen. This is an extreme example, but hatred and anger are extreme emotions.

 

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Anger and hatred are emotions to readily accepted in our world today. Lord give us the desire to not conform to this norm and to break the cycle of anger in our lives. Please replace these negative emotions with love and grace, with self-control and compassion. Soften our heart to those who may anger us, those who offend us, whether the offence is small or large. Let us be an example. Lord.

We each have a “Haman” in our lives, but we know that You are in control.  A roll of the dice does not determine our future, nor does it determine the future of those around us…You do. Thank You Lord for being the example of self-control.  Thank You for being the model of how we should live and love.

In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

 

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Overcoming Bitterness with Hope

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Coach Megan,

I won’t go into all the details, but I know that I have been burying a lot of anger for a long time now and now it is at the point that it is hard for me to be hopeful for change. It is hurting me so much and many of my relationships as well. I pray you can give me some direction. Bless you, K.

My Dear K,

Thank you for reaching out and I do pray that these Biblical answers will be helpful to you in this desperate situation.  What I heard lying beneath your cry for help is that you are struggling with bitterness, which is powerfully pushing you down into a ditch of despair.  Signs of bitterness can be subtle at first, but very soon it swirls into a chaos of complaints, unforgiveness, depression, sustained grief, hopelessness, and even rage against God.  Most people find it difficult to admit that they are bitter….  They say things like “I’m not bitter, but I just can’t forgive him!” or, “I’m not angry, but it’s just not fair.”  Bitterness is buried anger that has become stuck in resentment and unresolved anger is like a big, heavy chain that ties us to the past.

Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that
no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

When you are struggling to overcome bitterness, you must:

  • Believe that it is possible, with God’s help, to get rid of all of your resentment.
  • Know that you are not a helpless victim of other people, circumstances, or events.
  • Take personal responsibility for your attitude of bitterness.
  • Confess before God that you are harboring anger.  Express your true desire to overcome the bondage of bitterness.
  • Search your heart for the past events or people that embitter your heart, then release your right for revenge.
  • Understand that only a close relationship with Jesus can give you the love and confidence to let go.  Leave your vengeance to the judgment of God.
  • Cultivate a heart of forgiveness toward others that allows you to experience God’s total forgiveness of you.

Putting your hope in Christ will keep you from being wrecked by the crushing events of life. Although your anchor is unseen, you will feel it’s pull and know it is holding you.  No matter what storm you might be presently enduring or might soon be encountering, if your anchor is Jesus, your anchor will hold!  Extraordinary benefits await you when you hold on to the hope He offers… benefits based on the promises of God, benefits both in this present life and in the life to come. You cannot earn or deserve the benefits of hope…they are a gift of grace to you based on the Lord’s great love for you.  His Word shows us what these benefits are as HIS blessed hope…

Generates faith and love in you

Colossians 1:4-5

because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people—
the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven
and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel,

Causes you to live a pure life

1 John 3:3

 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

Inspires you to persevere with endurance

1 Thessalonians 1:3

We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith,
your labor prompted by love,
and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Uplifts your downcast soul

Psalm 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Causes you to praise God

Psalm 71:14

As for me, I will always have hope;I will praise you more and more.

Anchors your soul

Hebrews 6:19

 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain

Gives you reason to rejoice

Romans 5:2

through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.

Establishes your security and safety

Job 11:18

You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Guarantees your eternal life

Titus 3:5-7

he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
whom he poured out on us
generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace,
we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

 

Blessings,

Coach Megan 🙂