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Saturdays with Shandy: 6 Weeks to Make Your Home Shine for the Holidays! Week 3

October 20, 2012 by

 

Happy Saturday! Are your living and dining rooms sparkling clean? Doesn’t it feel like a weight is being lifted each week? I know it does for me! Each week, we are one step closer to having a sparkling clean home for the holidays! And how did you do with tuning into your five senses while cleaning? Let me tell you… my house smells amazing!

This week and next, we are focusing on the kitchen! These are, perhaps, the two most important weeks of this 6 week journey, as the kitchen is where we do all of our preparing! Cooking, baking, freezing items for later, wrapping presents… the list goes on!

It’s possible you noticed the picture at the top of the page and maybe it made you smile a little. I want you to read (or sing!) these words with me…

A robin feathering his nest has very little time to rest while gathering his bits of twine and twig.  Though quite intent in his pursuit, he has a merry tune to toot.  He knows a song will move the job along…

We all know that song, right? At least most of us here in the States. So what does Mary Poppins have to do with cleaning? Listen carefully to the words she says at the beginning of the song…

In every job that must be done

There is an element of fun.

You find the fun, and… snap!

The job’s a game!

Do any of us really think that scrubbing our floors, cleaning the stove, and polishing woodwork is fun? I’m going to be 100% honest with you. As much as I love being a housewife, that part of my job is usually not a fun time for me. I love the results, and I love blessing my family this way. I do not, however, love the hard work. I want to love the work, but I’m just not there yet. Can you relate? But remember in Colossians 3:23 we’re told to do everything enthusiastically, so let’s do this with a smile on our faces, a song in our hearts, and some songs on our iPods or CD players! Music can be the element of FUN! A song will move the job along! “They themselves lift up their voices and sing to the tambourine and the lyre and rejoice to the sound of the pipe.” Job 21:12 (AMP)

After we pray, and after reading your assignments for the week, please comment here letting us know how last week went for you and share your thoughts about this week… what do YOU do to make a job fun??? Then head on over to our Facebook group to share your pictures and to find out what our fun activity it is! And be sure to join us next week as we continue to make our homes shine for the holidays, and for some free Christmas planning printables!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Let’s pray:

O come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the Rock of our salvation! Lord, thank you for another week. Thank you that we are able to work with our hands to serve our families this way. Let our work be pleasing to you, and let it bless our families. Holy Spirit, please be with us and put a song in our hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your assignment:

Today – Today we are tackling our pantries! This is super important, as we tend to do a lot of shopping for holiday cooking/baking, and need plenty of room. Remove everything from your pantry. Throw away anything that is expired or questionable. Wipe down the shelves. Put in new shelf-liner if you’d like! If you have a walk-in pantry, give the walls a scrubbing if they need it, and make sure ceiling is free of spider webs. Wipe down the baseboard, and sweep & mop the floor.

Now it’s time to get organized and put everything back! I just LOVE an organized pantry!  All the veggies in one place, all the breakfast items in another, all the pasta in another, etc., etc. If you have cleaning and miscellaneous supplies in your pantry, those get organized, too. Two half-empty bottles of the same cleaner? Combine them, and recycle the extra container.  Cleaning rags that should’ve been thrown out long ago? Time to bid them farewell. You get the idea! This is the time I would also clean up my vacuum and disinfect my mop.

For some awesome pantry organization ideas, you can go to our Saturdays with Shandy board on Pinterest! I will have some great cleaning tips there for you, too! http://pinterest.com/gchministries/saturdays-with-shandy/

Monday – Today we are working on our refrigerator! Start by getting rid of expired items and forgotten “science experiments” if you have any. This is definitely the time to have the dishwasher empty and ready to clean any dishes you may be taking out. Now get some hot, soapy water and clean the refrigerator shelves, followed by wiping down the inside walls and door(s). Just like with the pantry, organize as you put items back. Do you have a bunch of ketchup or hot sauce packets from take-out places? Toss them if they’re old, or if you have newer ones you want to keep, put them all together in a plastic container. Salad dressings go on one shelf; condiments on another, etc. I will post a picture today (Saturday) of my before and after from when I did this a few months ago, so you can see how I organize my fridge. Now that we’ve moved, that refrigerator is now in our garage and is all clean, empty, and awaiting Christmas goodies and extra beverages, but I do have the refrigerator in our new kitchen to clean! I am doing this right along with you!  Grumbling Rejoicing right along with you!

Now that you are done with the inside of the refrigerator, do the same with the freezer. While you’re cleaning the inside, make sure you are cleaning the seal and any crevices carefully. Things like to hide in there if you aren’t careful to keep it clean. Now that the outside is clean, clear off the outside – remove magnets, notes, artwork, and anything else that may be there. Wipe down all sides of the fridge, including the top! Carefully move the fridge away from the wall (careful if you have a water line!) and clear away any dust bunnies that have accumulated. Now is a good time to sweep and wipe down the floor back there before pushing it back up to the wall. Be selective in what you place on top and on the doors and side of your refrigerator. Clutter makes it look untidy, even if it’s the cleanest fridge on the block!

Tues – Today we are cleaning our microwave and small appliances like the toaster and coffee maker. If anyone needs tips on how to get any of these clean, just ask! I have a great tip on how to clean your microwave on our Saturdays with Shandy Pinterest board! It’s the way I personally clean mine and it works great! You definitely don’t want to clean the inside of your microwave with a chemical cleaner, so take special care.

Wed – Time to clean the dishwasher. For a great how-to, check out our Pinterest board!

Thurs – We are cleaning our oven/stove today. I personally do not use the chemical sprays in mine. I don’t like the fumes, and it’s just not a very safe method. And you guessed it… there is another how-to on our Pinterest board! (Why try to reinvent the wheel? LOL)

Fri – Catch up on anything you haven’t completed. Then, enjoy your evening! You’ve definitely earned it this week!  We’ll be back in the kitchen for week 4, but isn’t it great to know the hard stuff is behind us? What a relief!!!

Blessings,

Shandy

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting – Meeting Across Continents

October 19, 2012 by


Where He Will Find Me

When I read this book a couple years ago, I decided to also read through the book of the Bible, Ruth.  If you have not read the book of Ruth, I strongly encourage you to do so with this study!  This section of the book called Meeting Across Continents really makes me think of Ruth.  In the first chapter of Ruth we see that instead of staying in a town where Ruth had the possibility of security in a husband and children, she decided to leave so she could care for her mother in law, Naomi.   Leaving ultimately meant there was no way of ever getting married and having a family.  Ruth gave up that dream because she knew following Naomi where God was leading them was better than staying where she was.  WOW!

On the contrary, here we are in our little lives we have grown oh so comfortable with, scared to leave our towns because if we go where the Lord is calling us, we will miss out on the guy that is going to put a ring on it!  Really that is what you think, isn’t it?  I know it is what I think.  I think that if I stay in my town or at least in my country than I will certainly cross paths with the man that I am supposed to marry.  I have had thoughts of going oversees to work in a ministry I have come to love but I stop those thoughts from being anything other than thoughts because I am scared if I let that thought flourish and even start praying for that thought then I will end up far away from my family helping women who hurt so badly find Jesus; instead of having the dream wedding I have always dreamed of.  That was really hard for me to write, but it is or was should I say unfortunately the truth.  Today I decided to pray for that thought.

I love Ruth for many things, but I think the best thing about Ruth is she saw how important it was to care for Naomi.  She gave up her life to care for Naomi.  In my Bible (I have the Life Application Bible) it says that back then, there was almost nothing worse than being a widow-which Naomi was.  The nearest relative to Naomi should care for her according to the law.  However, Naomi did not have any relatives.  All she had was Ruth.  Ruth desired to care for Naomi.  This selfless act, the Lord blessed incredibly.  When they traveled to Israel-the place Ruth should never have been able to marry, the Lord provided Ruth with her husband, Boaz.

Do you know who God is calling you to care for?  Is He calling you to care for a family member, like Ruth?  Is He calling you to a ministry somewhere other than where you are at this moment to care for hurting people in the world?  Maybe He is calling you somewhere that is far away from your family and will cause you to think if you indeed do go, you will miss out on your husband.  More importantly though, are you open to seeing just where the Lord wants you to care for the hurting people in the world.  Do you open your eyes to HIS desires for you?  Or are you scared because if you do, you are thinking you will miss out on your man.

I love the truth written on page 47 of our book; Jesus can bring your life-mate to you, no matter where you live.  Do you believe that?  You need to!  It is not about where we are, but what we are doing.  If we are doing God’s will then that is where we will find the man God has hand-picked for us!  Being in God’s will is where we should always desire to be even if it is in a different continent.  I do not want you to think that when you finally submit completely to God’s will than that means you will finally get that ring on your finger.  Being in God’s will is where you are meant to be single or married.  In God’s will is where you will be the happiest GLORIFYING God by caring for those he has hand-picked just for you to care for.

As for me, I know that I want the man I marry to find me in God’s will, doing what God so desperately desires for me to be doing.  When Ruth left all of the eligible bachelors in Moab-the last thing she was thinking was that God would bring her one in Israel, but He did!  I pray that as we have faith to leave the eligible bachelors we see with our eyes, we find the one with God’s eyes He has for us.

 

Let’s Pray:  Thank you Lord that we have Ruth to learn from.  The way she so selflessly cared for Naomi is incredibly encouraging.  I pray that you instill in us a desire to care for the people you have hand-picked for us to encounter in this life.  I pray that wherever you lead us, we have the faith to end up in your will for us, meaning single for some of us and married for some of us.  I pray that you help us to live by faith and not to live by our own wills.  Thank you Lord that you have taken care of our greatest need already-SALVATION.  We love you always and forever!  Amen

Your Assignment:  Read Ruth!!  Please feel free to leave a comment below (your comments can be anonymous if that makes you feel more comfortable) about your journey of living in God’s will for your life.  Or, share with us any time where you have decided to give up on an opportunity because you wanted to remain where you were just in case Mr. Right walked by.

 

 

If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar. Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

Love you all,

Diane

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Winning Him Without Words: Week 3 Review w/ Martha

October 19, 2012 by

This blog is brought to you today by Martha Bush

“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”   [Mark 10:9]

And with that final scripture spoken over us, we kissed and ran down the aisle to start our new life together.  Yes, the bride with teased hair and the groom with a crew top, wearing a white sports coat is Mr. and Mrs. Glen Bush.  (60’s style fashion)

Never would either of us have thought on that blissful day that the time would come when, what God had joined together, would be disconnected.  No, not by way of divorce; we are still hanging in there 46 years later.  But, a disconnection whereby we were no longer “united as one” emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

The disconnect came in various ways, but the one who brought the biggest disconnect was none other than GOD.   Well, maybe God didn’t directly cause it.  But you see, I was a little confused on how to share my faith around my unsaved husband.

For example:

  • “I bought you a Bible, sweetheart.  Read it, so you can learn more about Jesus.”
  •  “Would you please straighten up your language!   And, for goodness sakes,  put that cigarette out. The Bible says your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.”
  • “Please don’t turn off my Jesus tapes; I’m worshipping.”
  • “You want sex tonight?  Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie.  The Bible says a couple can refrain from having sex when fasting, if they both agree.  You will agree to refrain while I am on this 3 week Daniel fast with my church, won’t you?”

Finally, one day my husband said to me:  “I want my wife back!”  “I want a friend and lover,  not a mother!”

OMG!  I had been on such a spiritual high to save his soul and help him be able to wear a halo like mine that I had totally disconnected from him.  He no longer knew me.

Changes had to be made.  I decided that  if I wanted to Stay Connected with the love of my life, I’d better  INTENTIONALLY take a closer look at what love, “God’s Way,” was all about.

Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sara have painted a beautiful picture of love, “God’s Way” that is sure to help us all Stay Connected with our man as outlined in Chapter 3.

Let’s review their points.

Monday:  “Love is For a Lifetime – –As Beverly pondered what she could possibly share about  “love being for a lifetime”  one word within a sentence on Pg. 56 in our book caught her eye.  “God is freely giving us the secret to a long and joyful marriage.”

The word that stood out to her in that sentence was secret.  From that word, God showed Beverly that the secret to love for a lifetime is in the seven  C’s.

Commitment   Compromise   Communication   Courtesy   Charity   Courtship         The last and best “C” is Christ

Beverly said that a surefire way of maintaining these seven  ”C’s” is to:   pray together as husband and wife on a daily basis. Don’t let busy schedules, the TV, work, or the internet crowd this out. Make it your highest priority to “stay connected” and you will have a prosperous marriage journey that will “last a lifetime”

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  “All Things Are Not Equal” – –Jennifer  poured out her frustrations about love and staying connected to her spouse.  No doubt, Jennifer’s frustrations are embedded in many of our hearts.

  1.     Why do I always have to give and give without ever getting anything in return?
  2.     Will I always live in this continual bout of frustration?
  3.    Why won’t my husband ever see that I am hurting?
  4.    Why won’t he anticipate my needs?
  5.   Why do I have to cater to HIS needs while mine remain unmet?
  6.   Why won’t he help me in my times of need?

Yes, we often find that All Things are Not Equal in our dream world of having an equal partnership.  So, what is the answer to our frustrations?  

Jennifer summed it up this way:  With God’s help, we can love without expectation. God knows our every need. God knows every ache of our heart. God knows every desire of our soul. I am here to tell you, as hard as this is to grasp, God is the only one who can meet your every need. If you continue to rely on your husband to meet your every need, you will always be disappointed, because your husband is not God.

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:  “Bring on the Bedroom” —Donna brought out that the God-given pleasure in staying connected is:  Intimacy in the Bedroom.

Yes, intimacy is a gift from God for a husband and wife, that brings us pleasure.  But, Donna points to the fact that, life gets in the way, and intimacy goes on the back burner, thus robbing us of this pleasure.  She then challenges us with this statement:  We need to make the effort.

Donna shared a few ideas from her own marriage that has kept intimacy between she and her husband alive.

  • Prayer                                                   Picnic
  • Texting/calling at work                 Candles   (Christi’s choice)
  • Write notes to view at work         Reserve room at hotel
  • Buy a new negligee                         Vacation together
  • Plan a date night                             Attend marriage seminars

May we do likewise

 

Thursday:  “When You don’t Agree” – – Sarah confirms to us that “intimacy in the bedroom” is God’s idea of staying connected by pointing us to The Song of Solomon. This book is dedicated to the story of pursuing love, expressing love, and enjoying love…being able to abandon ourselves to our husbands wholeheartedly and with passion, holding nothing back. God is not a prudish God.  He definitely wants us to enjoy sex!

However, Sarah points us to the reality that we all might have face answering some tough questions about what goes on in the bedroom with our spouse. In short, how far is too far?

Sarah came into agreement with Lynn, our author as to how to answer some of those tough questions.  You need to talk about setting boundaries. Your husband married you because he loves YOU, not what you can do for him sexually. He needs to respect your wishes and you need to do the same for him. But he can never expect you to do things you feel are inappropriate or make you feel ashamed.  If you sit down and talk about what you are both comfortable and not comfortable with, there can be no misunderstandings. The marriage bed is supposed to be a comfortable and enjoyable place to be. Without setting boundaries, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy love making with your husband and that is not what God wants for you.

******

Christi added another line of questions that we might be faced with in regards to sexual intimacy.

  1. What about couples who have sexless marriages due to physical problems?
  2. What about those women whose husband has no sex drive?
  3.  What about the couple that realizes that physical problems prevent them from having sex, but they are okay with it?  They love each other anyway.  Is that sexless marriage okay?
  4. If, a sexless marriage is truly acceptable to both parties, is this something God would approve?

Christi suggested a list of books that would help us answer the tough questions we might have.  But, she concludes with:  Whatever you do, PRAY!  Pray the Word of God over your marriage, over your bedroom, over your bed, over your husband’s pillow.  As Sarah suggested above, take the book of Song of Solomon and pray it over you and your husband in 1st person. If you have to, read it out loud when you go to bed together!

Friday:  Discovery/Prayer:  Father God, no doubt as was Esther, we, too, have been brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this.  You have called us to a high calling: “Being a Wife.”  I ask you, in the name of your son, Jesus, to help each of us Stay Connected with our husband, and to live out our life according to 1 Peter 3 before him.  The truths you have revealed to us this week are priceless.  Help us walk them out.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: When We Don’t Agree

October 18, 2012 by

This blog is brought to you today by Sarah Boyer & Christi Wilson

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” Do you ever say that when you see an ad with a Victoria’s Secret model or see a skinny young thing on TV with everything where it ought to be (thanks to Photoshop!)? I do. Today’s world places so much emphasis on youth and beauty; it is hard to not get caught up in the hype to look younger, thinner, and less wrinkly.

But what if your husband sees these same commercials and ads and starts to suggest that you wear skimpy outfits like those women. Or what if he subscribes to a certain type of magazine or visits sites online that portray women in sexual situations that you know are wrong and demoralizing, but your husband thinks would be fun? After all, the bible says to submit to your husband. But how far is too far?

I love how Lynn answers this tough question. You need to talk about setting boundaries in the bedroom. Your husband married you because he loves YOU, not what you can do for him sexually. He needs to respect your wishes and you need to do the same for him. But he can never expect you to do things you feel are inappropriate or make you feel ashamed.  If you sit down and talk about what you are both comfortable and not comfortable with, there can be no misunderstandings. No, it won’t be an easy conversation, but it is just as important as discussing money issues and child rearing methods. The marriage bed is supposed to be a comfortable and enjoyable place to be. Without setting boundaries, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy love making with your husband and that is not what God wants for you.

What if your husband calls you a “prude” because you are Christian?  You need to reassure him and tell him that God approves of sex between a husband and a wife and that you are not, nor will you ever become a prude because you are a Christian. Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. It is the most intimate way you can show your love for one another. There is no need to be prudish about sex with your husband. God designed us to be intimate with our spouses. He wants us to enjoy sex too! Read Song of Solomon if you doubt me! The whole book is dedicated to the story of pursuing love, expressing love, and enjoying love…being able to abandon ourselves to our husbands wholeheartedly and with passion, holding nothing back. That doesn’t sound like God wants us to be prudish to me!

I love what Lynn wrote at the end of this section:  Intimacy, love, sex, trust, forgiveness, commitment, respect – all of these are components of married love and are gifts from the Lord. Enjoy!

One more problem that can come up in our sex lives is agreeing on WHEN. As wives and mothers we are tired! We work full time jobs, we take care of the kids, we cook, we clean, and then at the end of the day we are expected to be enthusiastic lovers when we really want to just go to sleep. I understand, but getting into this pattern of work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of kids puts your husband last on the list. Men are physical beings, connecting in the bedroom is how they express their most intimate love for you. You need to make an effort not to deny him. Yes we are tired, but you really need to make an effort to make time for love making with your husband. Remember when you were first married? Your guy was the most important thing in your life, next to God of course. Make an effort to rekindle those feelings for your husband and make time for him just like you did when you were newlyweds!

Godspeed,

Sarah

________________________

For the last couple of days, we’ve been talking about the pleasures of the marriage bed.  But today, I want to add a little something to think about.

What about women who have sexless marriages?  For those marriages that have physical problems, maybe one spouse is physically incapable of having sex.  Is it okay that this marriage is sexless, if both parties agree that it’s okay?  Or is it a detriment to the marriage because it leaves room for temptation?

What about those women whose husband has no sex drive?  There are men out there who are unable to perform sexually due to medical reasons, but are unable to take certain medications because of other physical problems.  Is this sexless marriage okay?  Or does this leave room for temptation?

What about the couple that realizes that physical problems prevent them from having sex, but they are okay with it?  They love each other anyway.  Is that sexless marriage okay?

Sex is such an important part of marriage.  But we have to realize too, that there are reasons couples cannot have sex.  They may be able to do everything else, but unable to complete the lovemaking.  If this is truly acceptable to both parties, is this something God would approve?

We just have to keep these things in mind when it comes to having a satisfying sex life.  There are other ways of having a fulfilling sex life without intercourse.  I know this is bold, but it’s the truth.  If both couples agree to a sexless marriage, I personally do not feel there is anything wrong with this, especially when it comes to physical problems preventing it; but I do believe that both parties must be in total agreement with it.

Whatever you do, PRAY!  Pray the Word of God over your marriage, over your bedroom, over your bed, over your husband’s pillow.  As Sarah suggested above, take the book of Song of Solomon and pray it over you and your husband in 1st person, such as:  “(Spouse’s name) is my beloved, and I am (Spouse’s Name), and his desire is only for me.  And so on.  Read the whole book!  If you have to, read it out loud when you go to bed together!

Listed below are some good books that I would suggest for couples who are just struggling in the bedroom:  “Sex Begins in the Kitchen” by Dr. Kevin Leman  — “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman — “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Smalley – There are many other great books out there to choose from.

God bless,

Christi

_____________________

Let’s Pray:

Lord, sometimes as wives we view sex as a “have to” instead of a “want to” which creates a roadblock to our intimacy with our husbands. Please help us to remember that You intended sex to be a fun and loving activity with our husband. Help us to put away the stresses of life and enjoy our intimacy with our husbands. Let our intimacy bring us closer together and help us to stay connected. Remind us that You want us to enjoy sex with our husbands, giving our full abandon.

We pray for those marriages who are physically incapable of having sex.  We ask Lord that You give these couples creative ideas on fulfilling each other sexually.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

I would like you to describe below the best date you had with your husband while you were dating. As you write about it, remember how you felt on that date. Remember the anticipation you felt while getting all dolled up for your guy. Remember how he looked, and remember your feelings for him during that date. Write it all out and then as soon as possible, recreate that date!

 

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join this Bible study, we would love to have you join us! Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Eyes of Faith

October 17, 2012 by

 

The first thing that struck me when I read this section of the book was the first line. “Orpha’s example of going after the available men could have influenced Ruth to return to Moab, the home of her parents and the gods of her youth. “

How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to places where God doesn’t want me to go? How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to people God didn’t mean for me? Sheesh, the first line and I am already beginning a series of introspective questions. But this is a good thing, I see it as God showing me the times in my life when I did not have eyes of faith, He’s using my past to teach me how to trust Him in my present and in my future.

Before I was married I had my daughter. I found myself a single mother with no prospect of a husband on the horizon.  I saw friends embarking on successful relationships, I saw my friends being happy, and well what I thought was happy at the time. And here I was, hopeless and alone.  I began to put my hope in my friends relationships; “if I only do this or that I will be happy and complete like them”, “If I go here or there I will find that successful relationship.” I was putting my hope in the wrong things and in the wrong people. I most definitely did not have eyes of faith.

Not having eyes of faith led me down roads I didn’t need to go down, it led me to have relationships I didn’t need to have. Not having eyes of faith separated me from God, it distanced me from him because I was telling him that I didn’t trust Him enough to bring me the husband I wanted,  the life I desired, it said I didn’t trust him to fulfill the promises he made to me, it went beyond me wanting a husband.

As the book said I needed spiritual eye wash. I needed God to reign me back in and I need to began working on eyes of faith. I once had the wrong mindset that walking in faith would mean that everything would fall into place, that my knight in shining armor would be standing on my doorstep once I  committed to trusting Gods plan for my life.  Nope. It did not happen like that. I had to wait and have him better my vision; I had to strengthen my sight before he brought my husband.  It was hard at times but I knew He was working on me, preparing my husband for me and me for my husband.

The good thing is that He is still working on me. I am still cleaning my eyes out daily in His word to become the Tonya He designed me to be. I can’t see into the future but my eyes of faith don’t have to, all I need to see is the words written on the paper, and in my heart. Some days are hard and I can’t see straight, I can’t feel the words on the paper. Despite my lack of feelings on those hard days, I know He’s still there. I know I can still trust Him.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Let’s pray:
Lord, faith is hard sometimes, it shouldn’t be but it is. I find myself questioning my life sometimes, I find myself asking question after question about my future. For that I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not having eyes of faith, for not seeing that you have my future planned out and that the future you planned is the one that is good for me. I may not see what you have in store but I will stop allowing the examples of my friends influence me in my actions, I will stop allowing their examples  to influence me to look where I do not need to be looking, what you planned for them is not what you planned for me. Thank you for this time of waiting that you have given me to strengthen my faith and to become the woman of faith you created me to be. I bind satan’s lies in your name. His whispers in my ears will not affect me. You know what you’re doing and I am going to trust in you. Thank you for your grace and mercy on the hard days, when I can’t see clearly.  You alone know what I need and when I need it.  In Jesus’ name amen

Your Assignment:
Is faith as a single woman ever hard for you? Does your vision blur from time to time? Let’s encourage one another, when you need “spiritual eye wash” what scriptures help you see better?

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Winning Him Without Words: Bring on the Bedroom

October 17, 2012 by
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5
I’m just going to reiterate some of the things written in this part of our chapter:
* This verse, like Lynn says, is God’s perspective on intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is a gift from God, something that we share only with each other. Created by God for marriage.
* It is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for husband and wife.
*We need to make the effort.
Let’s face it when we got married all we wanted to do was make love, for the first few months that’s all we do! But then life gets in the way and intimacy goes on the back burner. We have children and jobs and we get tired after dealing with these things all day. This part of our marriage is important to both of us and we shouldn’t neglect it. That being said and so as not to re-write everything that was written in our study, I want to share with some practical  things with you so you can enjoy and anticipate this vital part of your marriage, making it fun as you do!
The first thing I would have you do is pray! This is important because it puts things into a biblical mindset for you and also gets your heart in the right place.
When I first got married a friend of mine, who had been married for some time, gave me this advice that someone had given her when she married. Write down all the things that attracted you to your husband when you first met and married. It may not all be physical. Just all the good qualities and things that made your heart melt at the sight of him. Then go back and read it often and especially when you know it’s been awhile and you need to be reminded. Then think on those things!
Text him at work or call and leave a message of love for him on his phone. Sometimes I leave a little sticky note in his lunch box for him to find.
Buy a new negligee once in awhile and wear it on a night when it’s least expected and surprise him. I guarantee he will be in the mood!
Make reservations at a restaurant you both like and take him out on a date. Date nights are usually planned by us; so be as creative as you can. Dress to the nines!!
A picnic in the country or at a park you like to go to, just the two of you.
Fom Christi:  There is a candle that I will suggest to you, also.  It’s a Woodwick Candle.  It actually has a wood wick, so when the wick is lit, it crackles while it burns, making it sound like a mini-fireplace!! 🙂  Use this candle, especially if you have children, as a signal to your spouse that you are interested in making love with him that night.  BOTH of you can use this candle in this way!  Light it earlier in the day, so it gives each other time to prep and get the kids taken care of, before that special time alone.
On a grander scale here are some things you can do that I have found are very nice, whether it’s your  anniversary or a special occasion or just because:
I kidnapped my husband once. A week ahead of time I made reservations for dinner and a hotel in the town where my husband works. Then I had a friend drive me to his work and drop me off at his car. I was dressed in heels and his favorite dress and smelled wonderful! I looked GOOD!! When he came out to his car and found me there he was so shocked. I took over the wheel of the car and drove us to the hotel where he showered and changed ( I had packed a bag for him). We went to dinner and just enjoyed being together and the night!!! It was great fun for both of us!
We usually go somewhere for a couple days for our anniversary every year. It usually in our home state, so we don’t go too far, staying at a B&B. We find lots of unique places and it’s something we plan together months in advance and look forward to.
We also make sure to take a weeks vacation together, just the two of us every summer. We plan ahead and make it special by doing something we individually like together for a day. He likes sports, I like shopping. So we each get to enjoy it together. I can handle it for one day and so can he.
Every five years or so we attend a marriage seminar of some sort. It refreshes you and reminds you to think of your marriage as a priority, And they usually touch on the subject of intimacy too.
Let’ face it, day to day life is sometimes boring and we can let that leak into our sex life as well. Plan ahead and think of your husband. Anticipation is the key for us. God intended for us to be intimate, and it’s a very special part of our marriage. Let’s try to keep it alive and well. God says it is good and we should enjoy it!!!
If you are interested in more Date Night / Romance ideas, and you belong to our Facebook Discussion Group, please check the Files section of your group!  There are a ton of great ideas in that section of our your group!
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Lets Pray:
God thank you for our spouses and our marriages. Help us to keep intimate with you and with each other. I pray that we would purpose to keep the intimate part of our marriage alive and well and honoring you. Remind us daily of our love for our husbands. Help us to be creative and loving in our planning for these times. Thank you lord of the gift of intimacy  with our husband. In Jesus name-Amen.
Your assignment:
I have shared a few things that I have done to keep our love alive in our marriage. What things, without giving too much detail, can you say you’ve done or are planning to do to help this part of your marriage to stay alive and well?  Maybe we can steal some of those ideas for ourselves!!!
Many Blessings,
Donna
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Lady in Waiting: Chance Rendezvous

October 16, 2012 by

It all comes down to trust.  It seems to always come down to trust, doesn’t it?  No matter what the situation, no matter what we are waiting for, no matter how hurt we are, no matter what decisions we make, it all comes down to that word, “trust”.  So tell me, do you like to take things into your own hands, or do you trust God?

As I was reading today’s passage I had to smile.  If we are honest, we have to admit we have all done something to try to cause that “chance” rendezvous.  I can’t say I have joined a ministry to be closer to a man I was interested in, or that I have switched churches to find a more singles-rich environment, but yes, I have lingered at times, hoping for a chance to say hello or have a conversation.  I have also gone to an event because there was more of a chance that there would be single males there, even if I weren’t 100% interested in the event itself.

I struggle with “putting myself out there”.  To say there is a shortage of single men in my church would be an understatement.  As I sit here and think about it, there are probably less than 10 men that would be appropriate for me to even consider as a possibility (and that may be being generous) and if I am not involved in church activities, I am involved in my son’s activities, which means even if I am around men, they are married dads.  So yes, sometimes I wonder how I will ever meet someone if I am never around single Christian men.  That is when I can fall into the trap of taking things into our own hands.

The hard part, for me, is knowing what is walking in faith, and what is taking things into my own hands.  Is going to an event I am not totally sold on walking in faith, because I need to give God opportunities and sitting in my house or at my singles starved church won’t do that?  Or is it taking things into my own hands because it’s not something I would have normally chosen to attend and I am trying to force God’s hand?

Another time this question comes up for me is when the topic of online dating comes up.  Some (married) friends have asked me whether I have considered doing e-Harmony or another Christian dating site.  Cost aside, I have the same questions.  Is that really having faith in God if I go onto these sites, or am I trying to speed up a process that God may already have in place that has nothing to do with the computer?  Is it opening myself up to temptations when I should be focusing somewhere else?  Or will God use this method to give me the man He has been preparing for me?   How do we know?  We need to check our hearts.

The last part of the passage really made me think.  How is your heart preparation?  When we get ready for church, or a singles event, or a small group, whatever it is, and you know “he” or “they” will be there, do you spend as much time preparing your heart, like Ruth, as you do preparing your physical appearance, like Orpah?  I can humbly and honestly say I never even thought of doing something like that.  I make sure I shower, do my hair, makeup, try to find a cute outfit, the whole deal.  I have never taken even 10 minutes to spend praying and talking to God.  Think about the difference that might make.  Not only will we look cute, but our heart is softened and opened to the will of God.

When we talk to someone at church, maybe we won’t be thinking about saying the right thing, we will know that God will give us the right words.  How does that sound?  Instead of wondering if we should be spending time with this man, we will be open to the nudging of the spirit and He will let us know if we are where we belong.  Don’t we want a man that is interested in more than what we have on the outside? I am reminded of the quote, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” Well then ladies, I urge you, spend just as much time preparing your inside as you do preparing your outside.  Then you will be amazingly beautiful to the man God has for you.

Let’s Pray
Lord I ask You to work on our hearts today.  We may not always have the purest of motives, even when we think we do.  But You know.  You know what is in our hearts.  According to Your word “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord” (Proverbs 16:2).  Help us to discern our true motives when we make the choices we do.  We want to have a heart like You, and we need You to help us with that.  Help us to trust You, to truly believe that Your plans are the best plans for us.  Through the tough situations, the waiting, the hurts, the hard choices, help us to know You are there for us and, as always, have only the best intentions for us.  We love You Lord and want Your will for us.  Amen.

Your Assignment:
Please leave a comment below about chance rendezvous that you have tried to create.

 

Thoughts to ponder:

Have you ever made a major decision based on finding a mate?  If so, what was the outcome?  How about the little things we do?  Share some experiences you have had.

When getting ready to go somewhere do you spend as much time on heart preparation as you do on physical preparation?  If so, have you seen a difference?  Is this a new concept for you?  If it is, do you intend on making any changes?

God bless,

Michelle

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 3 / Day 2 – Refute Satan’s Lies

October 16, 2012 by

 

TRUTH

Today, we are going to start with truth.  If we don’t know what TRUTH is, then we won’t know what a LIE is when we see it or hear it.  “Satan would love for us to believe the lie of “not good enough.” (A Daughter’s Worth, p. 32)  If Satan can distract us from the TRUTH of who God made us to be, then we feel like we are not good enough.  Feelings are deceptive, so we need to know what truth is before our feelings get involved.  Sometimes we need to tell our emotions what we KNOW is true so we don’t get distracted.

Look at 2 Corinthians 11:3:  I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.  Eve was created perfectly, by our perfect God.  She walked in the Garden and talked with God personally.  It was only when Satan began to mess with her head that she began to doubt who she was created to be.  We need to know who we are in Christ so that when doubt creeps in, we don’t believe the LIES that will destroy our hearts.  If Eve could be so easily deceived, we should not think that we can resist the devil when he wants to sneak those bad thoughts into our heads.  We have to know the truth about what and who He says we are.  We find out what God sees in us by getting to know him by reading his word and talking to him.

One of the neatest things about having eight daughters is that I have proof of how God can make us so individual, unique and BEAUTIFUL.  No two daughters are alike, but they are all the same.  God has gifted them in very different ways.  I don’t expect them to react the same way, be good at the same subjects in school, wear the same style of clothes, or reach the same kind of people as their sisters.  Wherever we go, we bring a party.  Some are planners, some are preparers, some are entertainment, but ALL of them are fun.  Sometimes one will be feeling down and we try to show her how blessed she is and how accepted she is.  We acknowledge her feelings, but emphasize the TRUTH of the matter.

When one of my girls says, “I’m not smart enough”, it usually means – I wish I was smarter or had made better choices.  Then we talk about how we can choose better next time.  When they say “I’m not pretty”, it usually means they are comparing themselves to someone else, or someone has made fun of some part of them that day.  Those days we talk about what makes them unique and how no other daughter on the face of the planet can be them.  When one of my girls thinks they have no talent or special gifts they are usually thinking about someone they admire who is gifted in a certain area and has not looked at the ways God has gifted them to serve.  We are all unique!!!!!  God made each of us special!  There could never be a more beautiful you than you are to your Heavenly Father.  When you feel those doubts creep in, and they will creep in, push them out with the TRUTH of God’s Word.

“Protect the Father’s truth with everything you have.  How?  When Satan tries to distract you, confront the lie with scripture, combat deceit with prayer, and ignore the negative messages that Satan suggests.  Thank God for His TRUTH.  Ask Him to HELP you, His precious daughter, to EMBRACE (believe) it.” (p. 33)

Let’s PRAY:

We thank you Father that you have called us daughters.  We thank you for sending your Son to us to enable us to refute the lies of the enemy of our souls.  Help us to recognize your voice.   We love you Father.  Help us to ACCEPT your love.      AMEN

“And because you are sons (DAUGHTERS), God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “ABBA! Father!”  Galatians 4:6

 

The TRUTH is…God Loves YOU!  I love you!  Your leaders love you!  Have a blessed day, girlfriends.

 

Mama T

 

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

 

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Faith – Where the Boys Are

October 15, 2012 by

I must admit that when I started thinking about writing about this chapter for this blog, I was at loss!  How do I mix Faith and Boys in the same blog?  These are two different topics altogether and I was praying that I would be able to do justice to each without leaning more on one topic and neglecting the other.

But as I re-read the chapter over and over, I realize that one cannot talk about boys without talking about faith and neither can one find a lifelong partner without faith.

Somehow I equated faith with other spiritual things and not boys or men as the case may be.  I must repent I used to be logical about this subject.  Please don’t write me off yet but give ear to what I am going to say.

“Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

Hebrews chapter 11 is the Faith chapter and the “Hall of Fame” for the great men and women of Faith.  When reading this chapter you are introduced to the greatest exploits that people like Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses and everyone else did.  They overcame the most difficult situations; they were tested and passed through storms that we can only read about.

 

I thought faith came into play when I am faced with health issues, loss, job hunting and other major issues that I could not handle on my own.  But what about when I meet a guy I like.  Isn’t it so obvious that if I am single and he is single we can get together and see how it works out?  Right? WRONG.

As a Lady of Faith, I must take to God each and every decision that affects me.  I need to involve God in everything including issues of dating, marriage, etc.  Just because this nice young man is found in church and is involved in ministry doesn’t mean he is the right one for me.  I need to speak to my Heavenly Father about him before I can get involved.

You must be saying, “But Jackie, I have been here for so long, I have moved from my small town where “there are more livestock than people”; I have even changed churches so much that I have lost count the number of times I have filled out the membership forms; this is my opportunity, this is “where the boys are” so to speak.  This is my time; at last someone who is interested in me, who gives me the attention I deserve.  I can laugh at his jokes, he says the right words to me and never for once has he commented about my weight.  He is someone that I can introduce to my friends and family without feeling embarrassed because he is well spoken and articulate”.

Well girlfriends, I met such a guy once and I can relate to someone who once wrote “dear diary, I think I found the man I am going to marry” because I practically said that myself.

I returned to church after a five year hiatus and this church is where the Christian boys in town went to.  These boys were involved in ministry; be it choir, ushering, Sunday school, youth, evangelism; you name it they were there on the fore front.  Like every young woman on fire for Christ, I got involved in ministry and no sooner had I done that than I met him.  He was everything I thought a Christian guy should be.  He was involved in various ministries and then some.  He was a young man the Pastor relied upon.  Well, we dated for close to a year and the relationship grew serious to the point of getting parents involved and engagement talks were underway.  But something happened that caused the relationship to disintegrate.  Mr.  Right bowed out when I needed him the most.  Mr. Right did not sign up for what I was going through and he had prayed about the way forward and it was to end the relationship.

Through this heart breaking situation the Lord opened my “eyes of faith” and I was able to see that I had been in this relationship for the wrong reasons.  The Lord showed me that I wanted to be part of the church so much that I thought the best way to be accepted was by marrying this guy.  The Lord knew my heart better than I knew myself.  He did this to get my attention and to show me that I was accepted by Him and that He loved me the way I was.  I needed to serve Him with the right motive.  I needed to know who I was in Him before I could get married.  I needed to fall in love with Him before I could fall in love with someone else.

For three years, I embarked on a journey of getting to know the Lord and falling in love with Him as well as doing the things He wanted me to do.  It wasn’t easy because when a guy came along I wanted to throw caution to the wind and let logic take charge, but the Lord always reminded me what I went through and I needed to continue to trust Him with this.  He knew the desires of my heart and in time He would fulfill them.  Well He did because when I stopped searching and trying to help the Lord, He brought a man whom I married.

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I commit my sisters into your loving arms today, be with them as they trust you with this area of Faith and boys.  I know how difficult it is to surrender this issue to you but that is the only way we can avoid heartbreak.  Lord we surrender our will to you today.  Open our eyes of faith to see what you have in store for us as we wait upon you.  You know the desires of our hearts and in time you shall fulfill them.  In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

  1. When you meet a guy you like, what comes out first logic or faith?

  2. Read through Hebrews 11 and underline all the verbs. Then go back through and confess, “By faith I can __________,” filling in the blank with the verbs from each verse.

Is there anything you can think of that you can’t do by faith?

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If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar.  Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

 

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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Winning Him Without Words: Stay Connected

October 14, 2012 by

 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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Well, how did the first two chapters go for you?  Are you ready to move forward and learn more about making your unequally yoked marriage thrive?  I am!!  Let’s get to it!

In this Chapter, Lynn walks us through different ways that we can stay connected to our husbands.  In the beginning of this chapter, she talks about how putting together a Fantasy Football Team gave her something in common with her husband.  I admit I haven’t been that much into football, or any other sport for that matter. But there are things that my husband and I do like to do together; riding motorcycles, movies, reading, playing cards, trying new restaurants, trying new foods and recipes, and more.

A little over five months ago, we turned off our television. Yes, shut it off!  We even had the cable turned off!  We had discussed this for a couple of years, but he was never really ready to give it a try.  But one day he brought it back up again, and I jumped at the chance.  I called the cable company and asked them to turn off our cable.  We looked at each other and said, “Well, Now What????”  🙂

From there, the only time we watched television was if the two of us wanted to sit down and watch a movie.  Netflix has some fun programs that we enjoyed watching, as well; like Myth Busters, or How It’s Made; both fun and interesting shows.

We weaned ourselves away from the television, and began to find new things to do together.  We began to explore new books.  We got into the reading the bible more.  We learned how to play new card games, or board games.  We went for more walks. We TALKED more!! That was a big one!!

During these five months, we grew together.  We learned more about each other.  We learned each others Love Language.  We spent more quality time together.  During our meals, we sat at the table and talked, instead of in front of the television without speaking a word to each other!  It was amazing what was happening in our marriage!

If you do not know what your spouse’s Love Language is, please click HERE for an online test.  HE WILL NEED TO TAKE THIS QUIZ.  It will be well worth it,Ladies, to learn his love language!!  His love language will speak directly to his heart!  Win-Win situation!  You will also see other quizzes for wives, children, teens, and singles!  Excellent site!

About a week ago, we decided that with winter months coming on board, and football season starting, we would turn the television back on; but we both agreed that it was not going to become the idol that it had been in our home before.  It would not become the thing that divided us, or took away our quality time!

It was funny when we turned the television back on and hooked it up to the antenna…we flipped through a few channels and said “Eh, nothing really on…so now what do you want to do?”  LOL  It wasn’t like before, where we would flip through the channels and even if we couldn’t find something worthy of watching, we would watch it anyway just to have something to do!!  That will not happen again!

We gained a lot during this time without our television, and we are determined not to let a stupid little box divide our relationship again!

I love my husband.  I know he loves me, too.  We want our marriage to be successful.  So we are determined in finding ways that we can make our marriage even better.  It isn’t a bad marriage, in any way!  Don’t get me wrong!  But I believe that every marriage has room for improvement, no matter how good it is!!  All it takes is a little work, creativity, and the determination to do it.  Whether it’s turning off the television, or creating a fantasy football league, or ??? … ask the Lord what will bring your marriage to a higher level, and then be intentional about it!!  Your marriage is worth it!

This week’s chapter has a whole lot more to offer you than what I’ve shared here.  Lynn covers some pretty awesome topics!  Be sure to spend the time that you need in this chapter.  I believe it is truly going to open your eyes in so many ways!!

 

Your Reading Assignment

Oct 15 – 1 Cor 13:4-7 – Love Is a Lifetime – Beverly

Oct 16 – All Things Are Not Equal – Jennifer

Oct 17 – Bring On the Bedroom – Donna

Oct 18 – When You Don’t Agree – Sarah

Oct 19 – Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, I pray for each women that reads our blog posts this week.  I pray that each woman would be given creative ideas to stay connected with her husband.   Give us creative ideas of how we can meet our husbands needs physically, emotionally, and more.  Teach us his love language Lord. Help us to speak to him through his love language.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

If you would like to join this Online Bible Study and our Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of our page, and follow the instructions.  We will add you as soon as we receive your request.  🙂

God bless you,

 

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