May 8, 2026

Lady In Waiting: Finding the Priceless Pearls

October 26, 2012 by

 

When I looked at the schedule and saw I had this section of the chapter to talk about with you ladies, I was ecstatic!  I am pretty sure this is my favorite chapter.  When I read, A Lady in Waiting years ago, I wrote down this sentence from page 61: From the time you wake in the morning until you go to bed at night, set your heart’s desire on exalting Him.  This paper is sitting in my nightstand drawer.  Every time I read that sentence I pray that I am able to do just what is says that day.  Through the years I have learned what exactly it means to exalt God.

I have not always exalted God.  In fact for three years of my life, my heart’s desire was not for God; it was for a man who I tried to make my God.  I lived to honor this man, I lived for this man, from the time I woke up in the morning until I went to sleep at night I made this man a huge idol in my life.  This was the absolute worst time in my life.  He was very abusive, controlling, manipulative, and to put it simply, his heart’s desire was to destroy me and to sit back and watch in slow motion as he painfully ripped every single one of the pearls away I had received from God the day I accepted Him into my heart.  The worst part was I could not defend these pearls he was taking so viciously from me, because I had no idea they existed.

When all I was left with was an empty strand where beautiful pearls once laid, it was my turn to add new pearls.  Instead of adding God honoring pearls to that strand, it slowly started getting corrupted with ugly pearls of drunkenness, provocativeness, impurity, idolatry, outbursts of anger, carousing, anxieties, depression, and honestly I could probably go on and on.  I did not know what God honoring qualities and character looked like for me.  I saw it in other people, my sister and grandmother especially.  They wore their pearl necklaces proud as they should, and I was happy for them and others who did just that, but I had lost all hope for myself.  I truly believed it was too late for me.  I never thought the day would come where I would wear the pearls God has been preparing for me.

I can very thankfully and happily say that today, and every day, I stand confident in the pearls that God has picked out just for me.  I found them all, some I had to work so hard for, others he so graciously gave to me.  One pearl on the strand I think I am most thankful for is, LOVE.  There are no words this side of Heaven to describe to you the benefits and satisfaction in God’s love.  This is one pearl I never have to work for.  God’s love is there for me, even when my strand was covered with sin, His love was still there, on the other side of the clasp, but still, IT WAS THERE!  One pearl I still struggle with is self-control.  When I read this book, years ago, I wrote in the margin, WORK ON SELF CONTROL.  For whatever reason I ignored that note since it was written years ago.

This is what I learned when I saw that note staring in my face the beginning of the week.  We all have access to the God honoring qualities and likeness he teaches us about in the Bible.  Yes, they are beautiful pearls.  But, for whatever reason, we sell ourselves short.  We believe the lie that we are not good enough for God’s best.  We know of the qualities and pearls we can have in Christ, but we choose or settle for the qualities or pearls we have grown accustomed to in this world.  We go for the dime store pearl necklace when waiting for us is the priceless one in Heaven.

Exalting God is when we put aside the dime store necklace we have felt comfortable with and set our eyes and hearts above to the ONE and only who will give us the pearls HE desires for us.  Exalting God is when we let the Holy Spirit fill us with the pearls we are so deserving of from up above.  Exalting God is when we praise Him and honor Him with the pearls he has provided us with to treasure on our “necklace of virtue”.

Let’s Pray:

Father God, I thank you and praise you so much for the priceless pearls that you have for each and every one of us.  I pray that as we continue this study we strive to exalt you every moment of every day.  I pray that each and every one of us on this journey is able trade in the dime store necklace for a necklace of virtue so graciously given to us by Your Spirit.  Thank you for going along this journey with us.  I pray our heart’s desire YOU alone.  I pray all of these things in your precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is your heart’s desire?  Spend some time today being honest with God about what pearls you have on your necklace.  Tell Him what ones you want to remove, tell Him what ones you need help getting to their full potential.  Think about what exalting God means, and desire to spend your days doing JUST THAT.

Love you ladies all a super bunch!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Have you accepted Christ into your heart?  Is His Spirit living inside of you?  If you have not, but would like to pray, please contact our prayer team at prayer@girlfriendscoffeehour.com .  Someone from our prayer team is waiting to pray with you! 

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Winning Him Without Words: God Is The Wild Hope Maker

October 25, 2012 by

   

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

I love that verse. It hangs in our bedroom in a beautiful picture frame because it is a message I wanted to be reminded of every morning after going through a certain season of my life. The hoping and praying comes easy for me, but being certain was a struggle and this verse is the perfect reminder of what our faith in God can really do.

There was a time not too long ago when I questioned if God really had a plan for me. I used to believe he had a big one for me because I had escaped death 3 times in 38 years and am still here. God doesn’t almost take you 3 times for no reason. I always felt He was keeping me here for a purpose. But my life had been so mundane and at times down right miserable, I started to doubt my faith in God having a plan for me. What’s worse is I started to blame my husband for interfering with God’s plan for my life.

As I was learning more about what God wants from everyone, I didn’t look at my own faults and shortcomings. I was looking at my husbands. I could name off all the things HE needed to do to be blessed and saved by God right off the top of my head and figured once he fixed all his problems, blessings and prosperity would come flooding into our household. I never thought I had issues that needed to be addressed. I just thought that being yoked to him was my hindrance. After all, I was the one reading the word every day and pursuing God, so what else would I need to do?

I even started to believe that my husband was my ministry! But for some reason he wasn’t willing to listen to me tell him what he needed to do to have a better life.  The nerve, huh?! So I’d get angry at him, because remember, I thought it was all his fault that my life’s purpose wasn’t being realized. Oh brother. How’s that for putting too much expectation on your husband! I had misplaced my faith.

In this chapter Dineen asked “who am I waiting for?” Thankfully this question was put on my heart during this time. My answer was, I was waiting for my husband to fix his problems. To my eye, his problems seemed heavier than mine. I was praying to God to speak to my husband’s heart and motivate him to change. Finally God said to me:

God: What are you doing to fix you?
Me: Wait…What? I don’t have anything to fix, do I?
God: Um, yea, ya do.  Are you serving your husband, or judging him?
Me: Okay, God. I get it.

From that point on, my whole thought process changed. I started to ask God to point things out in MY life that I needed to improve or change. The list was long, by the way! I asked for his daily guidance and I asked how I could be a blessing to my husband. I spent a lot of time in Proverbs 31 and learned how to be a wife that my husband could be proud of. One who served her husband, took care of her household, raised her children with love and sought out to help others. I quit making my husband my ministry. Instead I made myself my ministry. I’ve said this in a previous post, but I now focus on being an example to my husband instead of being the nagging wife telling him what to change and how to do it. It’s the old adage, actions speak louder than words.

Please keep in mind this was not easy at first! For over 15 years I expected my husband to be my everything, as well as being perfectly pleasing to God. I struggled with “who was gonna make ME happy”.  A lot! But the more I showed love and kindness to him on purpose, it really started to make me feel good. I was making myself happy by providing joy to my husband. I was, and still am obeying God’s command to serve my husband and being rewarded in tremendous ways.

I was a score keeper, too. If he did something that hurt my feelings, I’d do something to hurt him. If he forgot my birthday, I’d be sure to “forget” his, but also remind him that he had forgotten mine. That all had to go. No more keeping records of wrongs. I continue to treat him as I want to be treated and I am “wronged” less and less each day.  Think about it this way, is it more important at the end of the day to be right or more important to be loved and give love to your husband? I threw the score card out & chose love.

And what about God’s purpose for me? Well, in hindsight I think God put me through that tough season of my life so I could write about it right here and share it with you all. I can help you learn from my mistakes or I can sympathize with you because I’ve been there. But most important of all, I can show you how well it turned out in the end by just listening to God and taking the focus off my husband and turning it on myself.

Lets Pray:
Dear Lord, help us to keep our faith placed in You. Remind us that You are working in each one of us, even though we cannot see it, we can be certain of it. Help us as wives to respect our husbands and serve them as best we can. Keep us from judging them. Keep us from trying to fix them or make them our own personal ministry. We know we need to leave them to You, but sometimes we are impatient and try to do things in our time, which only hinders Your plan. This is why it is so important for us to meditate on Hebrews 11:1 and to keep our faith placed in You and be certain You are doing Your work in them, as well as in us. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
Dineen said that men need respect and some even equate it with love. I read this to my husband and asked him what his definition of respect is. He told me “kindness.” He said that just the act of me being kind to him made him feel I respected him. For your assignment today, I want you to ask your husband his definition of respect and list it below. At home, take that definition and USE it! If it’s kindness, be more kind. If it’s not questioning or judging him, don’t question or judge. I’m excited for you to see how much of a blessing this will bring to your marriage!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

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Lady In Waiting: To Tell the Truth

October 25, 2012 by

Today’s blog is brought to you by Katie Blumberg

It was young adults ministry night and I was nearly certain that he was going to be there. You know, the man I was going to marry. Yep. I already knew who he was, I just had to figure out a way to get his attention and keep it. So as I straightened my hair I plotted out what I would say when I saw him. I did not want to seem too interested and at the same time did not want to ignore him entirely. But if I could figure out just the perfect, adorable, flirty but not sexy things to say, I was certain he would be hooked. On goes the makeup that I don’t usually wear. And where did I leave that adorable button-up top and my favorite flats? Finish with lipstick and slap on a smile, grab my bible and notebook and I am off to meet my destiny.
Have you been there? Found yourself so wrapped up in the idea of seeing your dream-man (or meeting him for the first time) that you become everything but yourself in the midst of it. Your entire focus is on this man, that you may or may not even know well enough to give him such devotion. You may be doing things that, on the outside, seem like they are for the Lord. Going to ministry events. Working or volunteering at the church. Helping out in the youth ministry. Joining a small group. Etc., etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong – these are all really great things to get involved in – but check your motive. If you are not doing this solely for the Lord, you may be involved in the wrong group or ministry.
So here are some questions to ask yourself if you really are not sure about your motives for getting involved in ministry: If that special guy was not going to be there, would you still want to put time and effort into it every week? If you never ended up with this guy, would his friendship still be of value to you? Is this something that the Lord is calling you to do, or are you in it because there is a possibility of meeting your future husband? Are you involved in ministries that include other single women, married women, couples, and brothers and sisters of all ages?
If you can answer these questions by honestly saying that he Lord’s will is your greatest interest, then kudos to you! You are on the right track, Sista!! But if you examine your motives and find that, in your most honest moment, some of the ministries you are involved in would not be a part of your life if that special man were not around, maybe you ought to re-examine your commitment to these things.
So, back to that special night that I was preparing myself for. I arrived (classically late, as always), found a couple of friends to sit with, and began scanning the room. No sign of him yet, but he’ll be here. The message began and I pulled out my bible and notebook to follow along. Still not there. I even left an extra seat open just in case he arrived. No such luck. I spent the entire night eagerly looking to the door at every stir I saw in the corner of my eye. I missed the message that was spoken, couldn’t concentrate through any of the prayers, and did not even involve myself in the question and answer time or small group conversation. The entire evening I spent either excitedly waiting to bat my eyes at dream-boy, or wallowing in my disappointment that I had gotten dressed up for nothing, yet again.
When checking my heart on my motives for this night, I realized that they were all wrong. I was not involving myself in this ministry because I wanted to draw closer to the Lord. I was not in it in order to grow, I was in it because I wanted an opportunity to meet a man. I wanted to take, not learn how to give.

What are your motives?

Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your grace and mercy. Thank you that you know our hearts better than we know them, and we praise you for loving us even still! Please help us to honestly assess our hearts and our motives for the things we do. Change our hearts to desire your will for us, and to stop inserting our own will. Give us peace as we wait for the man you have set apart for us, and help us to become more and more like you each day. Amen.
Your Assignment:
Honestly assess yourself based on the “test” on pages 58 and 59 of the book Lady in Waiting. You don’t have to share your exact results, but in all honesty, do you fall more on the side of pursuing the Lord, or on the side of pursuing a husband? If so, ask that the Lord would reveal to you how you ought to change that.
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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Fit for a King

October 24, 2012 by

 

And Isaac went out to meditate in the field in the evening; and he lifted his eyes and looked, and there, the camels were coming. Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel … Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her.

Genesis 24: 63-64, 67

 

Ahhh, so this is where Disney gets it from?

As little girls we learn to be princesses from Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty, my daughter is learning from Mulan, and Tiana (Princess and the Frog). I honestly never thought to look at the Bible and the stories of Ruth and Rebekah as how-to guides on my journey to being a princess. But, the creative minds at Disney were not far off from the example of what makes a good Princess. They are always kind, willing to help and always seem to want to do what’s best. I am willing to go as far as to say that some of them pulled the characteristics of some of the best selling princesses from the bible.

Ruth and Rebekah were hard working, king, selfless, sought to do what was right, and were both examples of a virtuous woman. I’m not saying that God is necessarily asking you to haul water for strange men, or glean off of the field, but He is asking us to display his characteristics now while we are ladies in waiting, so that these characteristics will be second nature to us in what God has planned for us.

He doesn’t just want and expect this. He gave us guides on how to be the princesses he destined us to be.

A great how-to guide on being a princess is Proverbs 31. God tells us step by step how we can live to become that princess.  The commonality between the Proverbs 31 woman, Ruth, and Rebekah is that all three fully allowed God to move in their lives without trying to stop Him.  They allowed Him to create a Christ likeness within them that shown brighter than their outward appearance could ever have.

God gave Boaz to Ruth.
God gave Isaac to Rebekah.
And God showed how much the Proverbs 31 woman’s husband and children loved and respected her.

There are things and people God wants to place in our lives, but first He wants to prepare us for the futures He has planned out for us.  Every little girl dreams of being a princess on some level, as that little girl grows up that dream doesn’t often fade, it may go to the back of the dreams pile but it remains. God is telling us that we are his princesses, and He is preparing us for our Prince; but we are responsible as well. We are responsible for opening our hearts and minds and allowing God to work in us, we are responsible to being Christ-like.

To be honest I was far from these three women in these examples. I believe that God was preparing me for marriage before I married my husband, but I don’t think that I fully accepted what god was doing until after I was married, and until after I felt the pains of a lack of preparation. I didn’t truly surrender myself to God to allow Him to mold me into the princess He created me to be until after I said “I do”, until after I saw how lack of preparation on my part can affect a marriage, and myself. I thank God every day that He continued to prepare me and that He continues to prepare me.

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Let’s Pray:
Father, thank you! Thank you for making us royalty, thank you for not simply expecting something of us, but showing us how to be the virtuous women you destined us to be, thank you for your examples.  Thank you for continuing to sustain and strengthen us on our journeys as ladies in waiting.  Please continue to prepare us, and mold us. You have our “happily ever after”, we don’t know what it is, but we do know that it is from you and that it is good. Thank you for this time in our lives.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

Your Assignment:
Read through the stories of Ruth, Rebecca, and the Proverbs 31 woman, what Christ-like characteristics do you see that we as princess possess.  What characteristics have you been blessed with? What characteristics are you praying for to be strengthened?

** Remember God isn’t asking that we be a perfect princess; it takes work, preparation and his grace and mercy. It’s a life long journey.

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 For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: To Know and Be Known

October 24, 2012 by

But the man who loves God is known by God.

1 Corinthians 8:3

 I admit it, I have struggled with writing from this part of our book this week. to be honest, I don’t know what it’s like to be married to an unbeliever. But I do have a son who is unsaved and it breaks my heart. I suppose it is not on the level with my husband, but it is a heartbreaking situation. I also have other loved ones that are unsaved as well. There are women in our church that come every week without their unsaved husbands and as our women’s ministry head, I need to know how to relate and help them. I know God lead me to this ministry and to this book. As my friend tells me, God is stretching me!
The one thing that really struck me in this part of our chapter today was when Dineen says: Do I want my husband’s salvation more than I want Jesus? WOW!! That speaks volumes. I can apply it to anything in my life, not just my husband. Anytime we desire something, even if it is something we know God is ok with, if it is overtaking our thoughts and life, it is a barrier between us and the relationship we could be having with Him. Wanting our husbands to be saved and to be known by God is a good thing. But when did God step back, let us take over the reigns of our lives and give us permission to be Him? God is a gentleman and will not force himself on anyone.
I struggle with trying to play God in my son’s life. I try giving him books to read, pleading and fretting over his spiritual state. But I also try to do this with my husband too. If I think he is missing something God has given me, I try to spoon feed it to him, ( or shove it down his throat! ), When what God really wants me to do is to grow and learn and enjoy this thing He has given ME to draw closer to him. Let God take care of the rest-Husband, son, and other unsaved loved ones.
My greatest desire is to have ALL if my loved ones saved and on their way to heaven with me. But, honestly, I do want it in God’s timing, then it’s real. I have to know that God is working on them and He will orchestrate the exact right moment in time for them. He loves them so much more than I do. I want to be ready for that. For the time being I need to work on two things: to know God and be known by God-for me. I never stop praying for my son and he knows it. But as I grow and know God the more I reflect that, hopefully they see it and are drawn to it because they see God in me. That’s the only thing I can do. I need to let go of the control, NOT the desire, for the ones I love to come to the Lord. Otherwise, I am making that the forefront and an idol. (OUCH!) That’s wanting my loved ones salvation more than Jesus, and God won’t honor that.
Pg 76 Says: Amazingly, when we put God first in out lives our deepest needs are met. Oftentimes, the needs are ones we didn’t even know we had. and the beauty of it all? In God’s presence we are known from head to toe – our thoughts, our needs and even our dreams.
That says it all!!
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Lets Pray:

Father we know you Know us but we are desiring that our Husband s also be known by you. We also know you want that as well. Lord help us to step back and do your work as only you can do. we love you Lord and are willing to leave them to you. Let our greatest desire, the salvation of our loved ones, be your work and yours alone. Thank you God that you aren’t willing that any should perish either and that you have that right moment waiting for them. Guide us this day to do your will. Thank you for answered prayer. In Jesus name, Amen.Your Assignment:

Search your heart and look at those things, and people, that hold us back from letting go and letting God take over. Name them, if you can, and let us all pray for one another over it. We need each other, and we need to pray for one another; it is a strong bond in the Lord with our sisters in Christ. Let’s collectively reach out to God together and raise the roof of heaven with these desires and God will hear us. Where two or three are gathered in His name………

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 2 – Know How to Choose Your Words

October 23, 2012 by

The last two weeks have been very eventful in our home.  My husband and I went on a vacation and get this…we left all the kids at home.  Yeah.  We did.  I left my house to a bunch of young women, all busy, all strong and expected them to take care of themselves and not trash the place.  You know what happens when six young women from 23 to 14 years old are left to their own devices and their own communication skills?????  Wonderful stuff.  Did they disagree?  Yep.  Did they get on each other’s nerves?  Absolutely.  Did they say stuff they shouldn’t have? Uh huh.  Did they apologize and make it right?  Yes they did.  All that BEFORE I came home on Saturday night.

Has forgiveness worked its way all the way through their hearts yet?  Not yet, but it’s working. They all love each other and know that we are a family no matter what so they are letting their hearts heal.  I am so proud of my girls.  They stepped up and took care of each other the way the Bible says they should.  The Bible doesn’t say that once you are a Christ follower you will never sin again, or struggle with the words that come out of your mouth.  It says that we can learn to keep our tongues from saying things that will hurt other people.

How can a young person keep their way pure?

By living according to your Word.

Psalm 119:9

Have you noticed that sometimes you go along and it seems easy to keep control of your words and sometimes, usually when you are tired or hungry or sleepy, something hits you the wrong way and you snap.  Something comes out of your mouth you wish you could take back immediately…but it’s too late.  Once those words come out of your mouth, you can’t take them back.

That’s what happened last week in my house.  One of my daughters had played 6 soccer games in two weeks and was tired, sore and hurt.  On top of that, her team lost the championship game and she was disappointed.  One of my daughters is a fixer, a look on the bright side kind of girl.  Nothing wrong with either girl, but the two were on a collision course.  I had no longer gotten the words out of my mouth to my oldest daughter to keep the two of them apart (for their own good) than one hurt the other and the other hurt right back.  Hurting people, hurt people.  That has been a hard lesson for my girls this week, but I am so proud of them for trying to put their relationship back together.  It has affected the whole family.  Their words and actions didn’t only hurt them, it touched us all.

What if someone, say an unbeliever, heard what my daughters said to one another?  What would that have done to their witness?  What would that person think about the God that my girls serve?  In the book of James 1:26 the Bible says this,

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”

Ouch!!!  That hurts just to read.  Our actions reflect on Jesus.  Our actions reflect on our Father.  My daughters had to tell their parents about the argument and harsh words.  Their words reflected on the way we have tried to raise them.  Their reaction to be quick to forgive and ask forgiveness was very much what we have tried to teach them.  The only way I know if they have learned their lesson is during times like these when they have to live out LOVE for themselves.  Yes, my girls hurt each other.  Yes, they knew what to do to begin fixing the hurt.  YES, they LOVE each other enough to try.  I’m a proud mom.

So how are we to talk the talk and walk the walk?  Micah 6:8 says this, “He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To ACT Justly and to LOVE Mercy and to WALK Humbly with your God.”

You may have heard songs using this verse.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

http://youtu.be/pkM-gDcmJeM                  Courageous by Casting Crowns

http://youtu.be/-Ja3O0VVCAM                 The Walk by Steven Curtis Chapman

So after all this, what really matters?  If you are gonna talk the talk you better be ready to walk the walk.  If you say you believe in Jesus and that you love one another, you had better be ready to put that love into action.  It’s not enough just to SAY it, we have to ACT it out.  Let the world catch you acting like Jesus.  That is the best role model you could ever show them.  Sure we are going to mess up.  We aren’t perfect. But in that imperfection, we show the world how to turn and ask for forgiveness, love each other the way Christ loved us and then they will want what we have…a WALK that truly shows the LOVE in our hearts.

Let’s Pray:  Dear Father, We come to you today to thank you for your example.  For being very clear about what it is you want for us and from us.  You have shown us what is good and what you require of us.  Lord, teach us to keep a tight rein on our tongues so we won’t hurt one another.  Help us to be sensitive when we mess up and do hurt someone.  Help us to make it right quickly, so the damage is not severe.  Lord, we thank you for your Word that teaches us how to live.  We want to live so that the world will want a WALK like we have.  Talk is cheap, but the proof of your love is in our walk.  We love you, Lord.     AMEN (z)

Choose today to let your tongue bring healing to those around you.  Choose LIFE with your words.  I love you.

Mama T

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Lady In Waiting: The Body Beautiful Trap

October 23, 2012 by


“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”1 Peter 3:3-5 NIV

It is so amazing to note that the Bible touches on every subject that pertains to a woman’s needs; beauty being one of them.  Yet how many of us refer to this awesome book when it comes to issues affecting our beauty?  If we did then glossy magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and many others would have closed their doors due to lack of business.

Reading the above verse over and over again, I am beginning to understand that it’s not the “how to” articles in the magazines that will help me become beautiful.  The word of God is the best “how to” book ever.  The magazines will not only confuse me but also make me feel like I am not good enough because I am not as slim as the cover girl or my bank balance does not add up in order for me to buy the trendy clothes that are being advertised.  As holiday season draws near, magazines will carry articles such as “how to eat all you can and not gain weight”, “how to look great in last year’s party dress”, “how to impress that guy in time for the thanksgiving trip to visit your family.”  Almost every article you read in these magazines is about looking good, feeling great and getting the man of your dreams.

Every day we women are bombarded with these messages from morning till evening.  Even when you want to buy a car, the advert is not centered on the car but the kind of woman driving it.  She has the most beautiful smile, flawless skin and a body that most of us only dream about.

The single woman is not exempt, especially when it comes to meeting the right guy, friends analyze you and tell you the reasons you remain dateless, some will advise you to lose weight, others will advise you to do a complete makeover of your wardrobe – “you dress like an old lady, how do you expect to meet a guy wearing such flabby clothes?”, others will criticize you for not being found at the right places – “you don’t go out often, do you expect prince charming to dream that you live in this corner of the world?”  Your friends may mean well but their suggestions are contrary to what the word of God says.  Yes, you need to look good and feel good about yourself but looks alone will not go the extra mile.  As Jackie Kendall puts it “If a man chose me for external beauty, his destiny would be hugging a prune. But, if a man chooses me for my internal beauty, his destiny will be unfading beauty even in the twilight years of marriage, because of Jesus.”

What does this internal beauty look like?  What was it that Boaz saw in Ruth that made him to go to the elders at the town gate to ask to be the Kinsman Redeemer?  What was so special about this foreign lady who I am sure didn’t even bother with make up when she went to the field to pick up left over grain to make this wealth owner inquire about her?  I always picture Ruth putting on a veil above her head each morning before she left the house.   One would only see her eyes as she went about her business of finding food for her and her mother-in-law to eat.

Let us follow a conversation that took place when Ruth and Boaz met albeit for the first time.  “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?”  Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband – how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.  May the Lord repay you for what you have done.  May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”  Ruth 2:10-12.

Ruth won Boaz’s heart by her act of kindness, not how she looked, I am sure she was a beautiful woman but at the time she met Boaz, in the field, it had nothing to do with how she looked.

Girlfriends, the little or mundane things that you do for others are a testimony to your inner or internal beauty,  the times you help an elderly lady with groceries; when you hold the door for others to pass, when you give your seat to someone else in crowded room or help out others in need do not go unnoticed.  You don’t know who is watching and falling in love with your character.

“When you look at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see God’s picture of a beautiful woman. There are 20 verses describing her.  Only one verse mentions her outward appearance. If you were to spend 1/20 of your time on outward physical beauty and the other 19/20 on developing the other qualities God describes as beautiful, such as wisdom, kindness, and godliness, you would become the excellent woman Proverbs 31:10 says a man should try to find.”

Remember “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

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LET’S PRAY

Father, I pray that as your daughters, we will not fall prey to the trap that the enemy and the world have set for us about how we look.  We are beautiful in your sight; we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Help us to set our minds on things above and develop the qualities that you describe as beautiful.  We are vessels of honor ready to be used by you my Father.  May we live our lives as examples for others to follow.  In Jesus Name Amen.

 

Your Assignment:  

In the comments section below, please tell us: 

What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman?

In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour?

What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

 

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: The Pearl

October 22, 2012 by

“Consider it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

This is one of those verses, you know them…the ones that are true, even when you don’t want them to be, the ones that hit you where it hurts.  Who wants trials? Trials are not fun; they are painful.  I can’t think of anyone who would ask for one, but ask or not, they come.  We can all tell some stories of pain, suffering, waiting or some other kind of challenge we have faced.  What must we admit once we are on the other side of the trial?  It has usually resulted in growth.  We become stronger, more sensitive, and closer to God.

I love the visual the authors use to explain the process we are going through as a lady in waiting.  A pearl.  For many of us, it isn’t the first time we have heard how pearls are formed.  What I loved were the parallels they used.  How many of us have felt like the ugly oyster shell just sitting on the beach being passed over, watching all the prettier seashells get picked up and taken home?  I know I have.  And I think as more time goes on, and I see more seashells go home, it starts to feel hopeless.  But God does not want us in that place!

He is doing a beautiful work in us!  There is our hope.  The grain of sand, whether it is divorce, loneliness, abuse or any number of other trials we face are not meant to be irritating and painful forever.  God takes that pain and turns it into something beautiful.  This is not an instant process though.  The reworking takes time.  What is most amazing to me is the greater the irritation, the more valuable the pearl!  Think about how beautiful our final products will be.

It is through these works, these trials that God puts us through, and how we come out the other side, that we will become the women that God wants us to be. This is the woman who will be ready for the man who God has for us.  There will be someone who wants to know what is inside that oyster shell, and see our true beauty.  This is not to say that we are unattractive, that men can only be drawn to our inner beauty despite our outer beauty.  But what it does say is that true love comes from true beauty.  If someone is only attracted to the outside shell and puts little worth on what is on the inside, the relationship is doomed before it begins.

Beauty fades, character doesn’t.  What attracted Boaz to Ruth?  It wasn’t her outer beauty.  In fact, she looked very different from the other women in the area, beautiful or not.  When Ruth asks Boaz why she should receive his favor Boaz replies, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law after the death of your husband has been reported to me, and how you left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and you came to a people who you did not previously know”.  It wasn’t what Ruth looked like that caused Boaz to fall in love with her, it was the woman of virtue that she was.

So ladies, let God work in you.  Take those sands of pain and turn it into a beautiful string of pearls that all ladies of virtue deserve to wear proudly.  The Lord wants you to be a lady of virtue – a costly, beautiful pearl for all to admire.

God bless,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Know the Essentials

October 21, 2012 by

 “Then why do you treat him any differently now?

Treat him as if he were a Christian.”  

OUCH!  I wonder how many of us have ever had this epiphany!?!  Men need respect … while women need love.  We women know that we need love.  It makes us feel secure in our relationship.  But have we really truly thought of what respect means to our husband?  As Dineen said, “some even equate respect with love.”

Having respect for our husband means treating him with the utmost kindness. Treat him as you want to be treated.  Do you treat your husband with the utmost kindness; or the way you want to be treated?  Do you let your husband take the lead in the household?  Do you belittle your husband in front of others?  Do you laugh at him in front of others?  Do you add to the stress that he already has? Do you nag him?

God calls us to respect our husbands.  He doesn’t tell us to respect our husband only IF he does this or that; only if he is a good father; only if he is a good provider; only if he shows you love, and so on.  He simply tells us to respect him….period!

Respecting your husband simply put, means that you have chosen to obey God.  When you obey God by respecting your husband, you are showing honor to God!  God never called you to nag your husband.  In fact, in Proverbs 21:9 tells us that it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.  Proverbs 21:19 tells us that it’s better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.

From there, we move into the section of the book that talks about our needs.  We have such a way of putting such high demands on our spouse to meet our needs that it’s impossible for him to meet them all!  Then we get frustrated, disappointed, or angry, that he isn’t able to meet these needs. First off, your spouse was never made to meet your every need!  Only God can do that!  Once you figure this out, it takes the pressure off of you both!  You are no longer disappointed in him for not meeting your needs; and he is no longer working so hard trying to figure out how to please you!!  Win-Win Situation for you both!  Praise God!

The one thing that really stood out to me in this chapter though, is the section that talked about his salvation and praying for your husband.  I know how important his salvation is to you.  But I want to ask you something.  I want you to really think about this, too.

“Would you rather your husband have a ‘forced’ relationship with God because you forced him into this with your nagging? Or would you rather he have the kind of relationship that allows him to love the Lord with his whole heart, soul, mind, and strength?” 

I really want you to think about this question today.  The rest of this chapter goes into a lot more things for us to think about, and I don’t want to take away from our awesome ladies who will be blogging the rest of the week.  So with that, I’m going to end my blog here today.  I hope I have given you some food for thought today.

_______________________

Here is Your Reading Assignment this Week:

Oct 22 –

Know the Essentials / Our Deepest Needs – Beverly

 Oct 23 –

It’s Not About Us – Jennifer

 Oct 24 –

To Know & Be Known – Donna

 Oct 25 –

God Is the Wild Hope Maker – Sarah

 Oct 26 –

Glue to Hope, Joy, & Peace / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Don’t Forget! Saturdays with Shandy!

Shandy is taking us through a 6-week journey to prepare our homes for the Holidays!

______________________

Let’s Pray:

Father, thank You so much Lord for loving us the way You do.  Thank You Lord for the spouse you have given each of us.  Lord, allow us to see him through Your eyes.  Allow our hearts to love him the way You do.  Put a guard over our tongue this week Lord, and help us to watch the words that come out of our mouth.  Lord, help us to truly be the kind of wife that You designed us to be for the spouse You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

_________________

 God bless you,

.

.

.

________________

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Saturdays with Shauna: Photography! Part 1

October 20, 2012 by

PHOTOGRAPHY

 

This week I thought I’d start a mini-series and share something with you that is near and dear to my heart.  Some of you may know that I used to run a part-time portrait photography business a few years ago and I still love to take pictures even though I’ve closed the business.  Photography is something I feel we take for granted now that we have digital cameras and the ability to take as many pictures as we want… some of you may remember the days of film when we had 24 or 36 shots to a roll and we were much more discerning in what we deemed photo worthy.  Then we had to wait anywhere from an hour to a week to see the prints!  These days, we come back from vacation with 2,000 digital photos to sort through and many of them never even see print.  It’s such a shame that treasures like this end up living on our computer or camera cards instead of in frames on our walls so they can be enjoyed.

In my opinion, photography is the greatest invention of mankind; it is truly a gift from God that we are able to preserve our memories and the faces of our loved ones for future generations.  I would like to share some of my thoughts and tips with you in the next few weeks on getting great shots that you and your family will treasure in the years to come and also how to get those images into frames and albums so they can be appreciated.  I also want to show you how to archive and manage your digital media so you don’t lose your images in the event of a hard drive crash.

Me with my parents a LONG time ago 🙂

 Week 1 – Getting the Shots!

First of all, you have to actually take pictures!  Some of us get busy and forget and we let months or years go by without really taking any photos, except maybe at functions like graduations and weddings.  Especially if you have little ones, pets, and elderly people in your lives, you really need to make an intentional effort to take photos of them often.  Little ones don’t stay little for long and sadly, pets and elderly relatives aren’t getting any younger.  I don’t mean to be Debbie Downer, but having lost all of my grandparents by the time I was 19, my dad when I was 21, then my mom when I was 27, along with my father-in-law in 2006 and our beloved toy poodle, Ginger, last year, I find myself wishing all the time that I had taken more photos of all of them.

Here are some ways you can be intentional (there’s that word again!) about taking photos of your loved ones for posterity:

Look at every day as a photo opportunity!  You don’t have to wait for a family get together or a holiday, just take photos!  In your backyard, in the living room, at the park, whatever.  Especially if you have young children – they change and grow up fast so you really need to make it a point to take photos of them often.  Use your camera or your smart phone if you have to, but just make sure to get the shots.

My son, Gunnar, having dinner one night at home <3

Create your own “family photo days”.  Schedule a day and take your family to a scenic venue for some family photos.  Do it once a month or once a year, it doesn’t matter – just do it.

My sister-in-law (at the time), me, and my brother… love that 70’s film look! lol

Use the holiday season and family get togethers to take photos.  Maybe you don’t see Aunt Judy but once a year at the family reunion.  Make sure to take a photo of her!  Maybe with the birth of a new baby there’s now five generations alive in the family – get them together for a group shot.  Maybe Great Grandma is celebrating her 97th birthday – get a picture of her blowing out her candles.  Or Uncle Joe flew in from Timbuktu for Christmas this year.  You get the picture (pun intended 😉 )

Get in the shot!  Maybe you’re like me and you abhor photos of yourself.  You avoid the camera at all costs and make jokes about breaking the camera lens when someone forces you to pose for them.  Quit it!  Your kids and their kids and so on and so forth, will treasure photos of you one day.  Get out from behind the camera once in awhile and get in the shot.  Use a tripod and your camera’s self-timer or give the camera to someone else.  Your loved ones won’t care about how bad you think you look in the picture, they will cherish photos of you regardless of what you looked like.

Our toy poodle, Ginger, who passed away in February 2012

Don’t forget Fido!  Our pets are like family too and they have a much shorter life span than we do.  Sometimes we neglect taking their photo because they’re always around.  But unfortunately, your beloved pet won’t be around forever.  Be sure to take plenty of photos, even if it’s just a picture of the dog lying on the couch.  One day you’ll be glad you did.

Next week, I’ll have some basic tips for you on taking better pictures!  In the meantime, your homework assignment is to take some photos this weekend!  Be sure to share some of them on our Facebook Fellowship page and comment below and tell us about your experience! 🙂

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