It was young adults ministry night and I was nearly certain that he was going to be there. You know, the man I was going to marry. Yep. I already knew who he was, I just had to figure out a way to get his attention and keep it. So as I straightened my hair I plotted out what I would say when I saw him. I did not want to seem too interested and at the same time did not want to ignore him entirely. But if I could figure out just the perfect, adorable, flirty but not sexy things to say, I was certain he would be hooked. On goes the makeup that I don’t usually wear. And where did I leave that adorable button-up top and my favorite flats? Finish with lipstick and slap on a smile, grab my bible and notebook and I am off to meet my destiny.

Have you been there? Found yourself so wrapped up in the idea of seeing your dream-man (or meeting him for the first time) that you become everything but yourself in the midst of it. Your entire focus is on this man, that you may or may not even know well enough to give him such devotion. You may be doing things that, on the outside, seem like they are for the Lord. Going to ministry events. Working or volunteering at the church. Helping out in the youth ministry. Joining a small group. Etc., etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong – these are all really great things to get involved in – but check your motive. If you are not doing this solely for the Lord, you may be involved in the wrong group or ministry.

So here are some questions to ask yourself if you really are not sure about your motives for getting involved in ministry: If that special guy was not going to be there, would you still want to put time and effort into it every week? If you never ended up with this guy, would his friendship still be of value to you? Is this something that the Lord is calling you to do, or are you in it because there is a possibility of meeting your future husband? Are you involved in ministries that include other single women, married women, couples, and brothers and sisters of all ages?

If you can answer these questions by honestly saying that he Lord’s will is your greatest interest, then kudos to you! You are on the right track, Sista!! But if you examine your motives and find that, in your most honest moment, some of the ministries you are involved in would not be a part of your life if that special man were not around, maybe you ought to re-examine your commitment to these things.

So, back to that special night that I was preparing myself for. I arrived (classically late, as always), found a couple of friends to sit with, and began scanning the room. No sign of him yet, but he’ll be here. The message began and I pulled out my bible and notebook to follow along. Still not there. I even left an extra seat open just in case he arrived. No such luck. I spent the entire night eagerly looking to the door at every stir I saw in the corner of my eye. I missed the message that was spoken, couldn’t concentrate through any of the prayers, and did not even involve myself in the question and answer time or small group conversation. The entire evening I spent either excitedly waiting to bat my eyes at dream-boy, or wallowing in my disappointment that I had gotten dressed up for nothing, yet again.

When checking my heart on my motives for this night, I realized that they were all wrong. I was not involving myself in this ministry because I wanted to draw closer to the Lord. I was not in it in order to grow, I was in it because I wanted an opportunity to meet a man. I wanted to take, not learn how to give.

What are your motives?

Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your grace and mercy. Thank you that you know our hearts better than we know them, and we praise you for loving us even still! Please help us to honestly assess our hearts and our motives for the things we do. Change our hearts to desire your will for us, and to stop inserting our own will. Give us peace as we wait for the man you have set apart for us, and help us to become more and more like you each day. Amen.

Honestly assess yourself based on the “test” on pages 58 and 59 of the book Lady in Waiting. You don’t have to share your exact results, but in all honesty, do you fall more on the side of pursuing the Lord, or on the side of pursuing a husband? If so, ask that the Lord would reveal to you how you ought to change that.

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!