May 6, 2024

Crazy Love: Chapter 6 – When You’re In Love (pp 101-103)

February 12, 2013 by

Don’t Try so Hard is the topic of conversation on pages 101-103 in Crazy Love.  Don’t try so hard to do “what” is the question we might be asking.

Mr. Chan answers that with:  “God wants us to crave a relationship with Him as we crave all genuine love relationships.  He wants believers to desire Him and not be slaves who serve Him out of obligation.”

CrazyLove_Ch6_Martha

Chan then quotes Galatians 5:13, 14:  “You, my brothers, were called to be free.  But, do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather; serve one another in love.  The entire law is summed up in a single command:  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

From this scripture, Chan points out that when we love, we’re free.  We don’t have to worry about a burdensome load of commands.  He then ask the question, “Do you feel free in your Christian life?”

Before, we can answer Chan’s question, I think we must take into consideration what Galatians 5:1 says:  “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

The word in that verse that is blaring out to me is entangled.  My handy on-line dictionary defines entangle as:  ‘to twist together or entwine into a confusing mass; snarl, to complicate; confuse, to involve in a tangle.’

Now back to Chan’s question:  “Do you feel free in your Christian life to genuinely love and desire God, and not serve Him out of obligation?”

I believe before we can answer that question, we must first take a look at things that might have entangled us.  May I suggest a few:

  1. Pay God Back:  Straight to the point, and excuse my English:  “It ain’t even possible to pay God back for what His Son, Jesus, did for us.”  No Scripture is needed as a reference.  If ever we should need a reminder, take a look at a picture of Jesus on the Cross; that should quench that little lie.
  2. False Guilt: A failure to trust God to forgive their sins may cause some people to try to serve God in order to work off their guilt, as in works of penance.  But, this is contrary to God’s promise of complete forgiveness to all who confess their sins.  (Colossians 2:13; 1 John 1:9)
  3. Inability to say No: Are you one who says “yes” every time someone from the church calls and ask you to fill a certain position?”  “Do you feel obligated, even though you don’t feel right for the job?”  “Are you left with feelings of guilt if you say, ‘No’?”  I fell into this category until I learned that God had placed within me certain gifts as to how He wanted me to serve Him. (Ephesians 4:11)  My pastor sums it up well:  “Our gift is the one we use with minimum effort, maximum effectiveness, and a maximum of joy.” Believe me, that took a load of guilt off me as I began to serve Him in love with the gift He had placed within me rather than out of obligation.

And the obligation list could go and on into more areas, such as:  legalism, self-seeking, performance-orientated, to name a few.

Sir Walter Scott, noted novelist and poet in the 1800’s said:  “Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”

If we are serving God out of obligation, we have woven a tangled web, and we are the ones being deceived.  Let’s get untangled, so we can move forward and be free to serve God out of our Love for Him.  

Be blessed,

Martha

 

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Let’s Pray: 
Father God, first of all, we open our hearts to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit to show us where we have felt obligated to serve You.  Help us to replace those motives and lies, so that we are free to love YOU with a genuine love as You desire.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment: 
Do you feel obligated in any way to love and serve the Lord?  If so, what has entangled you?

 

If you would like more information about Crazy Love Bible study, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Martha a personal message in regards to this blog, you may email her at: Martha@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Repairing Relationships (pp 167-171)

February 11, 2013 by

Choice 6:

Evaluate all my relationships.  Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

___________________________

LHC_Chapter6

This week we are going to look back at our inventory and learn how to repair the damage we have seen in our relationships.  Whether the damage was what we have done to others or what others have done to us, there is one way to repair—through forgiveness.

There are three reasons the book discusses why we should forgive others.

  1. Because God has forgiven you
  2. Because resentment doesn’t work
  3. Because you’ll need forgiveness in the future

Because God has forgiven you – Have you truly accepted God’s forgiveness?  I know for so long I felt I was not worthy of His forgiveness.  Have you accepted that Jesus’ death on the cross paid for all our sins? John 19:30 states Jesus exclaimed from the cross, “It is finished.”  No matter what our sin or how badly we have hurt others, God’s grace is sufficient to forgive completely.  Remember the woman who entered Simon’s home while he was having dinner with Jesus? She took an alabaster box of oil, washed His feet with her tears and anointed His feet with the oil.  When Simon criticized her, Jesus told him, “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.  But to who little is forgiven, the same loves little” (Luke 7:47). Jesus then told her that her sins were forgiven and that her faith had saved her.  This woman knew her sins were great, but also knew the greatness of God’s mercy.  She had accepted His forgiveness and been set free.

Because resentment doesn’t work – This second reason to forgive is all about letting go.  Let go of the pain of the past hurts from others.  If you hold onto those hurts or resentments, they will hold you prisoner.  When you release them, you are free…the doors open and you walk out.

  • Resentment is unreasonable: Resentment can build up into anger.  When we are angry, the only person hurting is ourselves.   We lose sleep, we don’t eat, we overeat, we start becoming more tempted by the addictions that God had removed and we snap out at those around us whom we love.  Let Go and Let God!!
  • Resentment is unhelpful: Can all that we are holding onto really help anything now or in the future?  When we become stressed, it affects all our life—our work, our home, our friends, our loved ones.  Let Go and Let God!!
  • Resentment is unhealthy: The book likened resentment to cancer.  When I read that I went back to when I received the call I had cancer.  I had dropped 30 pounds in 30 days and could barely walk.  After many tests, they had diagnosed me with stage 3 cancer.  That call knocked my feet out from under me.  If resentment is like that I want it to be taken from me, just as God healed me of cancer.

Because you will need forgiveness in the future – There have been and will always be days when we are going to need God’s or someone else’s forgiveness.  When the book stated ‘you cannot receive what you do not give,’ that one statement hit home for me. If I do not forgive other’s I will not receive forgiveness.  So wait, if I do not forgive, I will not receive my Father’s forgiveness.  That is a hard one!  But when you look at it, like all other areas of our lives, we need to take that first step.  If there were 1,000 steps, then yes, God will take the 999 others to get to us, but we have got to take that first step.  To receive salvation, we had to ask.  To receive baptism, we had to believe.  To receive healing, we have to believe.  So to receive forgiveness, we have to forgive.

In my walk out of the alternative lifestyle, I did my inventory and made amends with many people.  You see, as others are making their inventory of how others hurt them, mine was on the other side.  I did much of the hurting.  My choices destroyed my relationships with family and friends.  My choices destroyed four marriages, including my own.  I broke off an engagement at the age of 19, left my husband later at the age of 27, lost custody of my oldest son ( he was 3) at the age of 28…see where I am going?  Although there were those that did hurt me, my laundry list was long.  So the forgiveness I longed for was much greater than any I had to give.

My asking for forgiveness from others was the first, and I had to admit, the easiest.  Sure, there were those that hurt me and I did forgive them, but the hardest parts of forgiveness for me were to accept God’s forgiveness and to forgive myself.  The guilt of my choices was really deep.  I had a difficult time accepting that God had forgiven me.  Through years of destroying relationships with my parents, siblings, friends, ruining marriages—anyone who tried to care was quickly tossed to the side.  After all of the hurt I had caused, how could God forgive me?  I was not worthy; I did not deserve His mercy.

Exactly! Mercy is undeserved merit.  Mercy is not earned, He freely gives it.  We serve an amazingly compassionate God. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:15-16.

His life on earth, death on the cross and resurrection to the right hand of the Father is the reason we receive His mercy for our past and grace for our future.  I had to step up to His throne and boldly receive His forgiveness.  It took some time for me to realize He died for me too.  When He said, “It is finished,” He meant for me, too.  If you are having a hard time accepting God’s forgiveness, try this.  Put your name in front or behind that statement Jesus made. “________, it is finished.”

Once I received God’s forgiveness, He began nurturing me to forgive myself.  Jesus wants an intimate relationship with us.  He wants us to bring all our burdens, hurts, guilt, and shame to Him.  I love The Living Bible translation of this verse, it make this so personal. “Come, let’s talk this over! Says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.  Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!  If you will only let Me help you” Isaiah 1:18-19.  ‘Come, let’s talk’–-I can visualize Jesus saying–‘grab your coffee, let’s talk.’  He made the heavens and the earth (in six days), He set the stars perfectly in the sky, He walked me out of the gay lifestyle. He healed my cancer. He gave me two miracles through my sons. He put joy in my life through my brother. He gave me amazing family and friends and He has allowed me to share His testimony of my life with all of you.  How can I not listen and accept His forgiveness?   I urge each one of you to step boldly before His throne.  Take that one step and He will take the 999.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we are so grateful to be able to talk with You.  To spend time with You.  Help us to take that one step toward forgiveness.  We admit there are times when it is hard, Lord, to forgive others, ourselves, or to accept Your forgiveness.  Help us to trust You when You say there is no condemnation, and that You will turn our sins as white as snow.  Father, You cannot lie and Your word says there is NO condemnation—we believe and receive that today.  Help us to walk in that, Lord, and be able to forgive and let go of any resentments we are holding onto.

Lord, as we go through this week, guide us to those we need to make amends with—let us talk when we need to and be quiet when we need to.  Open our hearts to hear from You and give us the strength and courage we need to take this step.  Heal our hearts from the hurts, Lord.  We love You, Father.  We give all the glory and honor to You.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

When we are talking of forgiveness, which is hardest: Forgiving others?  Accepting God’s forgiveness? Or  forgiving yourself? (You can also go to our private Facebook page and share there, as well.)

__________________________

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation (Reading Assignment)

February 3, 2013 by

Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“God blesses those people who want to obey Him more than to eat or drink.  They will be given what they want!” (Matthew 5:6 CEV)

The hardest part for those of us who like to be in control of our circumstances (and lives) is surrendering ALL to His authority, and being willing to submit to EVERY change He brings to us.  John Baker starts Chapter 5 by describing how it’s against our nature to change our behaviors.  It’s so much easier to keep doing what we’ve been doing.  It’s been said that changing a habit takes around 30 days of consistent behavior to make it stick.  How many of us actually try for that long?  Here we are in February, how many of you are holding firm to the New Year’s resolutions you made?

The scars we bear from our life experiences did not happen overnight, and we cannot expect change to be rapid.  Over the past four weeks, we’ve been preparing our hearts and minds for the changes God wants to do in our lives.  He’s been working in us through this time, but it’s also been a time of preparation.  Romans 12:1, 2 says that we are to “be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT).

Do you take the time to read a passage in different translations?  Sometimes you can get more insight, clarification, and direction by what the various translations offer.  From The Message, we read the same passage in Romans, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

How awesome is that?  God is helping us.  God wants the best for us.  He will change us inside and out.  Another promise of The Father we can hold on to when we don’t think we can keep on this journey.

Chapter 5 will discuss where our character defects come from, why it takes so long to get rid of them, and how we cooperate with God during this transformation process.  A key point for me in this process is to remember my identity in Christ, who He says I am.  Baker says, “Notice their identity is in their belief in Christ…they do not allow character defects to become their identity” (pp 133, 134).

Almost 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  It’s a chronic pain syndrome that many don’t fully understand.  Even with almost 11 years together, my husband still doesn’t “get it” on many days, though he has learned to be more patient and tolerant of my episodes.  Pain, muscle tenderness, weakness and tingling are common place for me.  On a daily basis something hurts, usually my back, hips and shoulders.  But I also get tingling and swelling in my feet and hands; and fatigue…oh boy, do I get tired!  Some days I feel like I over-exerted myself the day before.  Other days, I feel like I’m battling the worst flu virus ever.  And, the only thing I can do is manage symptoms; there is no cure.  I have medications to take.  I give in to the afternoon nap.  I opt to sit as an observer than push my body in an activity I know I’ll regret later.  I get massages (much too infrequently) from a therapist who knows how to treat my body.  And, I try to enjoy walking as an easy, low-stress exercise for my body.  Keeping it moving helps keep it from tightening up even more.

Now, I know there are people with fibromyalgia who are truly affected more severely than I am, so this is not meant to disregard the severity of their situations.  Many are unable to work, enjoy activities, or function on a normal level.  I’ve never been affected so badly that I cannot “do life.”  I may not want to do something, but it’s a mental attitude not a physical limitation.  But what if I gave in to my pain and let it determine who I am?  If I focused on what I have, rather than who I am, how much different would my life be?  I might refuse to leave my bed.  I might quit my job because it’s just too much effort.  I might refuse to care for my family; instead asking them to tend to my needs.

But I am a person with fibromyalgia.  It does not have me.  Just like I am a child of Christ with sin, sin does not have me.  I have freedom in Christ.  And, it’s His freedom that also provides comfort during my fibro-flares (periods when it is worse).  It is His strength that pushes me through.  It is His wisdom that guides my doctors for management.  And, oddly, it’s a blessing in my life at times because the flares cause me to rest, and be thankful that my infliction truly isn’t that bad in the scheme of things.

So what defines you?  Do you believe you cannot change because it’s “just the way you are?”  Do you see yourself as the addict or victim?  Or do you see yourself as God sees you.

James 4:10 

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and he will lift you up in honor. (NLT)

Reading Assignment for Week 4: Chapter 4 of Life’s Healing Choices

Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 5: The Transformation Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Why Does It Take So Long?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss How Do We Cooperate With God?
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:

Lord, so many times we view our scars and afflictions as bad things in our lives.  Help us to see these as tools used by Your Hand to change and transform us into the daughters You want us to be.  You desire only the best for us.  You gave Your very best to us in Your Son, Jesus.  Show us the defects within that keep us from freedom and peace.  Allow us to humbly bow to You wisdom and correction in this process.  Amen.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:

Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 4 Review

February 1, 2013 by
  • Realize I am not God
  • Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover
  • Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control
  • OPENLY EXAMINE AND CONFESS MY FAULTS TO MYSELF, TO GOD, AND TO SOMEONE I TRUST
  • V
  • E
  • R
  • Y

 

Matthew5_8

Wow, ladies, after this week I am so glad for that verse – “Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”   The thought that as my heart continues to be refined and purified, I will see God.  As I look around I see Him daily, in the clouds, the flowers, my sons, my work, songs, and in each post and response from all of you amazing women.  God is so good, isn’t He?

The first part of the week we talked about what guilt can do to us:  destroy our confidence, damage our relationships, and keep us stuck in the past.  But through all the guilt, shame, and regrets we may have from our past sins, as we cry out (like David) for God to create that clean and pure heart within us, He is always faithful to forgive and cast our sins as far as the east is from the west.  We begin to chip away at the junk that the past has built up within that heart.

I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)

And they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. (Isaiah 61:4)

Tuesday, Leslie made this challenge: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?  Are you ready to Make time to begin your inventory? Are you ready to Open your heart and mind to allow the feelings that have blocked your healing and recovery then Rely on God’s grace to complete that healing He has for you?  Are you ready to Analyze your past, step out of your denial of the past and step into the truth of the present? Finally, are you ready to List the events of your past?  Please, please, please make sure you list both the good and the bad choices of your past.  We caution you to not just list the bad; there are good choices you have made that you need to list and praise God for those choices, too.

If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward. He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. (1 John 1:9) 

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” (Isaiah 1:18) 

Wednesday, Kim shared how “more, much more than this” she did it her way, as many of us have and may still be trying.  However, there is a time to realize we cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father.  We need to have an accountability partner, someone you can trust and who understands what you are saying is valuable, as a treasure to be handled with care.  Someone who will not sit with their jaw dropped as you speak or gasp when you bear your heart.  And finally someone who knows the Lord, who will be your friend, as well as accountability and prayer partner.

I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears. (Psalm 54:4)

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us. (Philippians 3:13, 14)

Amy closed us out with praying for God’s help through this.  We need to armor up and tap into His power in order to “examine our ways and test them.”  When you begin to write your inventory remember five areas: the person whom you resent or fear; the specific actions that was related to that person; what cause – action effected your life both in past and present; the damage done to your basic needs (social, security or sexual); then honestly determine what part you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part.  We want to make a strong point in those areas of abuse – when you come to the area of what part did you have responsibility for –write NONE or NOT GUILTY – begin feeling freedom from the shame and guilt you have been carrying around with you. Finally, share those areas you wrote with someone you trust, that accountability partner or trusted friend.  This road is not to be traveled alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony….  (Revelation 12:11)

He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask. (Ephesians 3:20)

Ladies, as you are writing your inventory, this is an amazing journey to healing and freedom.  Our Heavenly Father wants to give you anything you can ask for and more.  This is not to be taken lightly as you have carried around these hurts, habits, or hang-ups for some time now.  It may not go away overnight; however know that He has already overcome the world (John 16:33).

I want to circle back around to “create in me a clean heart.”  Read on in Psalm 51, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  T

hen I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you

” (verses 12, 13).  Your journey of confessing your faults, taking time with the Lord, writing your inventory, and sharing with your accountability partner will restore your joy. And it could be such an encouragement for someone God may place in your path that needs to hear your story (His story) at just the right place and just the right time! You will forget the past and look forward to the finish line He has prepared for you.  As Leslie challenged us on Tuesday: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?

 

 

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Let’s Pray:

Oh, Father, we come and sit at Your feet with humbled hearts.  You know we have made both good and bad choices.  Your word says be strong and courageous that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  Father, that is what we are asking, that You give us the strength and courage to follow through this step in chipping away at our past hurts or habits and sharing with a trusted person – one You have placed in our path. Thank You for each woman You have placed in this study; bless them Father.  Take away any guilt or shame they have or are feeling and replace that with the joy and peace that only You can give. We thank You for taking us on this journey and showing us Your incomparable grace.  We love You Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Pray first then begin writing and sharing your inventory.  Take quiet time with the Lord this weekend.  As you begin writing, go to our Facebook group and share with us a scripture God has shown you this week through this step.

_______________________

If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog,

please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Moving Past Guilt – Part 1 (Steps 1, 2, 3)

January 29, 2013 by

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:40 NIV

Two years ago when I went into recovery, I entered into AA as part of an out-patient hospitalization. I came to the part of needing to write an inventory of my resentments. At that time, I had pages and pages that piled up so high I thought this whole step would be impossible. I rushed through them leaving out important details. I could not face them all, especially the REALLY PAINFUL ONES. The really painful ones showed like movie reruns in my mind. I also experienced physical symptoms such as a racing heart, difficulty breathing, chills, smells, and vivid details. These physical symptoms caused me to run from them even faster because every time I thought of the place or person I felt like it was happening to me all over again. Finally when I could hit “pause” on the movies (my life), I would take those people and places and kick them into that corner of my closet and cover them with all kinds of pretty stuff so I would not have to look at them anymore. If I don’t see them, then they can’t hurt me right? LOL!

Today I have only a few on that list because I have not totally surrendered them over to the Lord. The resentments I did give over to Him were healed and I became set free in a very powerful way that only God can do. Why I did not do this with all of them, I still ask myself that question. God took many of my resentments and showed me just how powerful He is by healing them so quickly. In my heart, I believe He was showing me proof of who He is and what He does. Some healed slower and hurt in the process. I am not going to lie, it was not fun. It was hard. I remember sitting on the couch scared and not trusting that God could take those things from me, but He did.

But unfortunately today, I still have a few I just have not fully dealt with and want to store them away in that dark corner in my closet. I don’t even want to see an edge of one sticking out. This realization shows me it’s time to do something about it. I started writing down each of these resentments that I’m allowing control over me today. My new list is much shorter today than my first one from two years ago. There are a few people, places, and events that I have been resenting, causing me anger, hurt, and fear that just won’t leave me alone. They have caused a lot of damage over the years to my thinking, attitude, relationships and self-worth. I would say the HARDEST part of this section has been writing down and owning up to my part. This is not easy at all! Yes, I have been severely hurt, but in each item on my list, I see that I have sinned also, and I am responsible for things I have done. “The Lord gave us a mind and a conscience. We cannot hide from ourselves” (Proverbs 20:27). I cannot keep blaming others, rationalizing, and deceiving myself any longer.

Prov20_27

I would like to briefly share a resentment of a place and event I have written down on my list. About six years ago, my doctors suggested having shock therapy for my major depression/bipolar illness. This was a last resort because nothing else worked, such as medications, hospitalizations, and psychotherapy. Wanting to die, I was desperate and decided to get started. My shock treatments consisted of twenty-five treatments. My husband had to take off work and also drive me two hours each time to the hospital. There were times our girls had to come along for the ride and had to wait on me for hours until my treatment was finished. Some weeks they had to stay with friends and family. Our girls also had to witness me confused as a side effect from shock treatment and having memory loss. Are you hearing my guilt I have been feeling for years right now?

As a result of my guilt, I have been parenting out of guilt. I have for years felt like a horrible mother who subjected our children to trauma over the years witnessing a sick mom who went to the hospital frequently and being sad a lot. I have felt guilty for so long I have actually believed my illness is my fault. I carry that guilt around with me every single day. It effects the way I parent, it affects me when I see the road sign of that hospital, it affects me when I read the word ECT (electro-compulsive therapy/shock treatment), it affects me when I see electrodes hooked up to people at the hospital, and all the details of the actual event. This whole situation and guilty feelings from it have consumed me for years.

Today I am ready to ask for forgiveness and be set free! “If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward-He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil” (1 John 1:9).  I have been sinning by not forgiving myself. I have been consumed with fear continuing to let these past events hurt me deeply over and over again. The really exciting news is by confessing this, sharing this, God will forgive me! “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).  I don’t have to bribe Him, or beg Him to forgive me; I just have to believe He will.

Are you ready to Move Past Guilt? Are you ready to take this step and transform your life? Take this step and get ready for God to do really great things in your life. Let’s get to work and start taking a personal inventory.

M – Make time to begin your inventory

O – Open your heart and your mind

R – Rely on God’s grace

A – Analyze your past, honestly

L – List both the Good and Bad choices and events in your life

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Let’s Pray:

Father God, we desperately need You. Lord, how incredible it is to believe that our sins are covered and our guilt has been forgiven! Lord, through this study, continue to reveal to us what makes You sad and lead us along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23, 24 TBL) Lord, please give strength to everyone ready to make a change in their lives. Please give us courage to confess faults and come clean. Father, we are all so ready to let You set us free from our hurts, hang-ups, and habits.

Your Assignment:

Make some time to be alone with no interruptions. Open up your heart and mind to let God reveal what you need to see. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. Point out anything You find that makes You sad and lead me along the path of everlasting life” Psalms 139:23, 24.

 

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing Online Bible Study, click HERE to sign up. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private email to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at:
Leslie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

Filed Under: Victorious Healing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 12 – Living with Optimism

December 16, 2012 by

This is our last week with “A Daughter’s Worth” bible study.  I hope you have enjoyed this study, as much as we have!  Sometimes online Bible studies can be kind of pressing, especially when you have such a busy schedule.  But, one thing that I have learned is that putting God first and foremost, in all things, is an absolute necessity in order for everything else in my life to run smoothly.

The Word tells us to seek Him first and all things will be added unto us.  That means first thing every day, we should be making time for God.  We should be seeking God in our daily schedules, tests, extra-curricular activities, church functions, sports, and more.  If God hasn’t called us to it, we cannot expect Him to bless it.

This week, in Week 12 of A Daughter’s Worth, we will discuss “Living with Optimism” and what that means.  This may be the end of this study, but it’s a very important part of this book!  I hope you will take the time to read it, meditate on what you’ve read, and spend time with God.

Here is your schedule for the week:  

On Monday, Diane will discuss giving honor to God.

On Tuesday, Teresa will discuss recognizing the holiness of God.

On Wednesday, Jordan will discuss receiving happiness from God.

On Thursday, Tonya will discuss resting in the hope of God.

On Friday, Edwina  will discuss looking forward to Heaven with God.

And then to close the week off, Coleen will have a special message for us.  So be sure to stay tuned!

Be sure to check back soon because we will be announcing what’s next for GCH:decaf SOON!!!

Now a word from Miss Morgan:

Hey girls this is our last week, which is crazy; but this week we will be talking about how we should give God glory and that we should know the holiness that God has. God also will give us happiness, which we should learn to accept, and to always have the Joy of the Lord with us.

Lastly we will also be talking about resting in the hope of the Lord, and that we should always look forward to Heaven and living with God forever. It’s weird thinking this life will end, but we will live FOREVER in Heaven with God, which is amazing. I love you girls!!

Before Morgan and I close for today, I want to ask you if you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?  If not, we invite you today to ask Him into your heart.  Please pray with us:

Lord Jesus, I come to You today and ask You to be my Lord and Savior.  I have learned who You are through this bible study Lord, and I want to know You personally.  So today, Lord, I confess the sins that I have in my heart, and I ask You to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness.  I ask You now to come into my life, as my personal Lord and Savior.  AMEN!

If you prayed this prayer with Morgan and I, would you send us an email?  We’d like to pray with you.  You can reach us at GCH_decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.  

We love you, so does He!

Have a GREAT week everyone!

Morgan & Christi

 

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Lady in Waiting: Emotional, Relational, Spiritual

November 7, 2012 by

I honestly don’t know how to get started here. I didn’t even need to see the sections I was writing on this week before thoughts began to pour into my head, all I needed to see was the word “purity”. And it made me freeze. How can I write to women about purity when I see my past as tainted, when my purity is a thing of the past. Then I got quiet and prayed. This isn’t the first time I have had to use my past to speak to others, and yes I am no longer pure in regards to my physical state, but God has forgiven me and washed me whiter than snow. This is how I can talk about this topic. It doesn’t make it easier by any means!  The consequences of my actions are still something I deal with, but I can stop myself and pray, knowing I am forgiven, and that the lessons learned will help someone else.

I became pregnant with my daughter at 17 and had her when I was 18. I wasn’t married. I have dealt with the emotional, relational and spiritual consequence these sections speak about, I think a lot of us have.

God gave us a gift when he tied our emotions to our physical state.  It enables us to love hard.  It drives us to give our all to the one we’re with. But that gift only works the way it is designed to work when we are with the one God has chosen for us, and under the bond of marriage. It is stated more than once in this section that God wants to protect us; protect us from a broken heart, protect us from condemnation, protect us from fear, from resentment. It also lists doubt, depression, bitterness and mistrust. I remember feeling all of these after purity was no longer one of the characteristics I possessed. He wants to protect our hearts and minds from these negative emotions that sexual promiscuity will bring.

This section further defends the thought that women are complex creations. Yes ladies we are complex, we have many layers, we are hard to understand, and at times we can be complicated. This is not a bad thing. It is part of Gods security system for us. But have you ever set off an alarm by using the incorrect code and haven’t been able to turn it off? That’s what premarital sex does to us. It sets off an alarm that only God can turn off.  But instead of a screaming noise, our emotions, relationships, and spirituality are screaming.  Our internal alarm systems need the right code.

 The code of Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 The code of Colossians 3:1-2

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above,

where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.

Whether it is one night, or a long term relationship, premarital sex negatively effects three of the most important aspects of a woman’s life. Emotional. Relational. Spiritual. We are God’s ladies in waiting. When situations present themselves that deal with the topic of purity, take a conscious step back and think of the impact it will have on these three areas.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Lets Pray:

Thank you Lord for the security system you have placed within each and every one of us. Thank you for your forgiveness and redemption. Lord please touch our hearts when we are facing different situations and bring to mind how much you value our emotions, relationships and spirituality. Thank you for protecting us.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Your assignment:

I listed some codes I use when I’m faced with certain situations or when Satan tries to remind me of my past.  What are some scriptures you turn to when purity is concerned?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Why Wait / Physical

November 6, 2012 by

 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body,

but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

When I saw my blogging assignment for this week, I began to pray because I knew what the Lord was asking me to do.  Speak and write the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.  I pray that you will open your heart to receive this truth and not feel in any way condemned.  I am writing out of love for you and to shield you from pain.

To start us off today, I want to present to you two scenarios. In the first place, have you ever wondered why when we taste something that is not to our satisfaction – we say it’s okay or it could have been better?  Or have you heard of a man or woman asking their partner to go and see a therapist because they feel that their partner is not good in bed?  The question that you would ask is this, how do you know that the food you are eating is not good or bad?  It’s because you have tasted something better!  In the same way the man or woman in the example above feels that the other is not good in bed because they have been with other people.  They are comparing their spouse with the girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s) they had in the past and they feel cheated.

Now imagine your wedding day – you have been looking forward to this day all your life, as a young woman you have dreamed how this day would be because you have been planning this for so many years.  The wedding ceremony was perfect, the food and drinks met your expectations and everyone is going to talk about how beautiful you looked for weeks or months to come.  Now come the wedding night – the honeymoon suite and everything else is so beautiful.  The mood is set for a wonderful evening but afterwards your husband asks you “honey, I thought I was your first!” Can you dare to look at him in the eye and say, I am sorry?

Let me also share some of the questions we received as leaders of the singles group I led at our church: –

How much is too much? –

We are engaged to be married, is it okay to spend the night at his place? –

I love him so I feel it is right to have sex with him as a way of expressing my love, is this ok? –

All my friends do it, why not me?  I will repent and God will forgive me. –

You don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive.  What if you find out that the person you have married has a deformity in this area?

At first I couldn’t believe I was getting these questions from young men and women who were Christians because I was naïve to think that “church folk” that were saved, who narrated the Bible back to back struggled with such issues.  I realized that if they had it together then we would not be tackling this topic.  When you are coming from the “world” you put Christians in a pedestal and expect that they know everything and don’t struggle with issues the rest of the world does. Girlfriends, when the Bible says “FLEE” it means “RUN”.  This is not the time to be asking if it should be a splint or a big walk or if it’s time to put on running shoes or wait until the water has reached the neck.   You just run!  I am saying this to address the above questions.  Don’t allow yourself to be in a compromising position and expect to stop when it becomes too much.  Our Father loves us so much and does not want us to get hurt as such He warns us to flee from such situations.

I am not sure if you have thought of having sex outside of marriage as sinning against your own body?  Well to be honest with you back then I didn’t know but now I know.  And although I also know that God has forgiven me, the sin has been laid at the cross and buried in the grave, I still have to live with the consequences of my past actions.  My dear sisters, I confessed Christ as my Lord and Savior at 19 but I never really gave all of my life to him.  As a young woman, I bought into the ideologies of the world and lived and did as I pleased.  I had one foot in the church and the other in the world.  I believed that if I loved someone then to express how much I love him, I had to sleep with him.  I wish I knew better.  I wish someone gave me this book to read back then. Beloved what you do now may look harmless but know for sure that you will reap the fruits of your actions.  “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.” Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones highlights that God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings. These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

These are just some of the physical reasons: –

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage. God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. –

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband. –

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility. A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicates the consequences.

I pray that you will not fall into the trap of “if you love me then you will sleep with me” like I did. Honor God with your body as much as you honor Him with everything else. For someone who has already gone all the way.  I pray that you will ask God for forgiveness and commit to be pure from this day forward.  The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Old habits, old fears, old addictions may approach and afflict us and sometimes we may want to turn back to them. But God is saying to us, “Fix your eyes on Me! If you will let Me be your victory, we will see the last of that.”

Listen to what God is saying!

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come before you with a broken and contrite heart.  I ask you to forgive me for sinning against you and my body.  I want a new start from this day forward.  I make this commitment to you and my future husband.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?

Be Blessed,
Jackie
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Resolution for Women – Weekly Overview “Fulfilling My Husband”

September 7, 2012 by

Happy Friday!!!  🙂

Here is this weeks video blog!! 😉

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Have a GREAT Weekend Everyone!

See you on Sunday!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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