April 26, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation Choice

Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.
Matthew 5:6

Woo-Hoo Ladies!!  You are absolutely awesome!  We have taken some amazing steps on this journey.  First admitting we had a problem and were absolutely powerless over it.  Then we began to understand that God could and will help us to overcome that hurt, habit or hang-up if we seek Him and turn our lives over to His care and control.  We started writing our spiritual inventory and are sharing our lives with a trusted person.  Wow – that is a lot of hard work and you should each be doing a praise dance with the Lord right now.  I know you may feel tired and think ‘no way, I’m going to take a nap.’  But take some time to realize you have come a long way in this journey and God is pleased. ‘But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.’ Hebrews 13:16

Now that you have realized what you want God to change or control, are you ready to let Him? Chapter 5 is all about change – now we all do not like this word.  It can be scary, fun or an adventure.  Moving forward into the unknown can be frightening, yet exciting.  I was so excited when the verse used for this process was Romans 12:1-2.  (These verses became my life verses over three years ago when I walked away from the gay lifestyle.) Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  I mean I had just walked out of a lifestyle into a world of the unknown.  I had to walk away from almost all of my friends and change all the places I went to.  I had to look at myself and ask – who am I?  What do I even like now?  God began showing me that I was a new creation, my sins were forgiven and He loves me.  He was going to lead and teach me if I would do one thing.  Offer myself wholly to Him – keep my mind focused on Him and allow Him into my heart.  I was to keep away from the things of the past and renew my mind.  That is where He wanted me – if I became willing, He is always able.

Let’s break those verses down into the character defects John Baker talks about in the book.

Biological/Chromosomes: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God….” We inherited some of our strengths, weaknesses, physical and emotional traits from our parents. We did not choose our parents, DNA or some of our tendencies toward addictions.  However, none of these inherited traits give us the right to some of the behaviors we have chosen.  We are to offer our bodies as sacrifices to God.  We are to be willing…Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Psalm 143:10

Sociological/Circumstances: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world….” Where we were raised, the environment, what we saw, how those around us behaved all contributed to our character. Again, we did not have the opportunity to choose how those around us behaved or what our parents taught us.  These behaviors or experiences actually shaped some of our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  Out of our reactions, coping skills or hurt – we stepped into certain habits or addictions.  As I stated before, when I walked out of my lifestyle, I had to walk away from many people, activities and places. We are not to conform back to our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  ‘Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.’ 1 Peter 1:13, 14 

 Theological/Choices:  “But be transformed by the renewing of your mind….” We can change the choices we have made that have driven us into hurts, habits or hang-ups.  When we remove one of our old habits, we must be able to replace it with a good choice.  Spend quiet time in His word, prayer time, volunteer at your church or a ministry in the area, go to a Bible study, (depending upon your hurt, habit or hang-up) find a support group in your area – these are a few things I found that transformed my mind into healthy habits.  Luke 5:36 talks about not putting a piece of new cloth onto an old garment, the old will tear.  Also, the new piece will not match the old.  2 Corinthians 5:17: If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed, behold all things have become new.

We have become new creations by an amazing Creator!  Are you ready and willing to allow God to take away those defects that you are holding onto?  Another way to phrase that question – are you ready and willing to become free of what has been dragging you down?  Make the choice.  He is ready to step in and give you your heart’s desire.

________________________

Let’s Pray:

Most Gracious Father, we are humbly coming before You with open hearts.  We know we have made choices that have not been pleasing to You.  Help us to be completely willing to allow You to change all our shortcomings.  Teach us, Lord, to do Your will, to not conform to what the world may show us, but to allow You to lead us away from some of our old habits and into Your new path.  Your Word says to be strong and courageous; Lord, we want to be strong through these changes.  Heal the hurts of each one of us and help us to be the people You want us to be.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

We have talked about being willing to allow God to take control and change or remove our character defects.  Have you been able to release control? After you have read the blog, go to our private Facebook page and share a positive change you have seen in your life through your releasing control.

__________________________

If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation (Reading Assignment)

Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“God blesses those people who want to obey Him more than to eat or drink.  They will be given what they want!” (Matthew 5:6 CEV)

The hardest part for those of us who like to be in control of our circumstances (and lives) is surrendering ALL to His authority, and being willing to submit to EVERY change He brings to us.  John Baker starts Chapter 5 by describing how it’s against our nature to change our behaviors.  It’s so much easier to keep doing what we’ve been doing.  It’s been said that changing a habit takes around 30 days of consistent behavior to make it stick.  How many of us actually try for that long?  Here we are in February, how many of you are holding firm to the New Year’s resolutions you made?

The scars we bear from our life experiences did not happen overnight, and we cannot expect change to be rapid.  Over the past four weeks, we’ve been preparing our hearts and minds for the changes God wants to do in our lives.  He’s been working in us through this time, but it’s also been a time of preparation.  Romans 12:1, 2 says that we are to “be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT).

Do you take the time to read a passage in different translations?  Sometimes you can get more insight, clarification, and direction by what the various translations offer.  From The Message, we read the same passage in Romans, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

How awesome is that?  God is helping us.  God wants the best for us.  He will change us inside and out.  Another promise of The Father we can hold on to when we don’t think we can keep on this journey.

Chapter 5 will discuss where our character defects come from, why it takes so long to get rid of them, and how we cooperate with God during this transformation process.  A key point for me in this process is to remember my identity in Christ, who He says I am.  Baker says, “Notice their identity is in their belief in Christ…they do not allow character defects to become their identity” (pp 133, 134).

Almost 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  It’s a chronic pain syndrome that many don’t fully understand.  Even with almost 11 years together, my husband still doesn’t “get it” on many days, though he has learned to be more patient and tolerant of my episodes.  Pain, muscle tenderness, weakness and tingling are common place for me.  On a daily basis something hurts, usually my back, hips and shoulders.  But I also get tingling and swelling in my feet and hands; and fatigue…oh boy, do I get tired!  Some days I feel like I over-exerted myself the day before.  Other days, I feel like I’m battling the worst flu virus ever.  And, the only thing I can do is manage symptoms; there is no cure.  I have medications to take.  I give in to the afternoon nap.  I opt to sit as an observer than push my body in an activity I know I’ll regret later.  I get massages (much too infrequently) from a therapist who knows how to treat my body.  And, I try to enjoy walking as an easy, low-stress exercise for my body.  Keeping it moving helps keep it from tightening up even more.

Now, I know there are people with fibromyalgia who are truly affected more severely than I am, so this is not meant to disregard the severity of their situations.  Many are unable to work, enjoy activities, or function on a normal level.  I’ve never been affected so badly that I cannot “do life.”  I may not want to do something, but it’s a mental attitude not a physical limitation.  But what if I gave in to my pain and let it determine who I am?  If I focused on what I have, rather than who I am, how much different would my life be?  I might refuse to leave my bed.  I might quit my job because it’s just too much effort.  I might refuse to care for my family; instead asking them to tend to my needs.

But I am a person with fibromyalgia.  It does not have me.  Just like I am a child of Christ with sin, sin does not have me.  I have freedom in Christ.  And, it’s His freedom that also provides comfort during my fibro-flares (periods when it is worse).  It is His strength that pushes me through.  It is His wisdom that guides my doctors for management.  And, oddly, it’s a blessing in my life at times because the flares cause me to rest, and be thankful that my infliction truly isn’t that bad in the scheme of things.

So what defines you?  Do you believe you cannot change because it’s “just the way you are?”  Do you see yourself as the addict or victim?  Or do you see yourself as God sees you.

James 4:10 

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and he will lift you up in honor. (NLT)

Reading Assignment for Week 4: Chapter 4 of Life’s Healing Choices

Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 5: The Transformation Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Why Does It Take So Long?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss How Do We Cooperate With God?
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:

Lord, so many times we view our scars and afflictions as bad things in our lives.  Help us to see these as tools used by Your Hand to change and transform us into the daughters You want us to be.  You desire only the best for us.  You gave Your very best to us in Your Son, Jesus.  Show us the defects within that keep us from freedom and peace.  Allow us to humbly bow to You wisdom and correction in this process.  Amen.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:

Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

 ________________

If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com