March 29, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation Choice

Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.
Matthew 5:6

Woo-Hoo Ladies!!  You are absolutely awesome!  We have taken some amazing steps on this journey.  First admitting we had a problem and were absolutely powerless over it.  Then we began to understand that God could and will help us to overcome that hurt, habit or hang-up if we seek Him and turn our lives over to His care and control.  We started writing our spiritual inventory and are sharing our lives with a trusted person.  Wow – that is a lot of hard work and you should each be doing a praise dance with the Lord right now.  I know you may feel tired and think ‘no way, I’m going to take a nap.’  But take some time to realize you have come a long way in this journey and God is pleased. ‘But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.’ Hebrews 13:16

Now that you have realized what you want God to change or control, are you ready to let Him? Chapter 5 is all about change – now we all do not like this word.  It can be scary, fun or an adventure.  Moving forward into the unknown can be frightening, yet exciting.  I was so excited when the verse used for this process was Romans 12:1-2.  (These verses became my life verses over three years ago when I walked away from the gay lifestyle.) Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  I mean I had just walked out of a lifestyle into a world of the unknown.  I had to walk away from almost all of my friends and change all the places I went to.  I had to look at myself and ask – who am I?  What do I even like now?  God began showing me that I was a new creation, my sins were forgiven and He loves me.  He was going to lead and teach me if I would do one thing.  Offer myself wholly to Him – keep my mind focused on Him and allow Him into my heart.  I was to keep away from the things of the past and renew my mind.  That is where He wanted me – if I became willing, He is always able.

Let’s break those verses down into the character defects John Baker talks about in the book.

Biological/Chromosomes: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God….” We inherited some of our strengths, weaknesses, physical and emotional traits from our parents. We did not choose our parents, DNA or some of our tendencies toward addictions.  However, none of these inherited traits give us the right to some of the behaviors we have chosen.  We are to offer our bodies as sacrifices to God.  We are to be willing…Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Psalm 143:10

Sociological/Circumstances: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world….” Where we were raised, the environment, what we saw, how those around us behaved all contributed to our character. Again, we did not have the opportunity to choose how those around us behaved or what our parents taught us.  These behaviors or experiences actually shaped some of our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  Out of our reactions, coping skills or hurt – we stepped into certain habits or addictions.  As I stated before, when I walked out of my lifestyle, I had to walk away from many people, activities and places. We are not to conform back to our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  ‘Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.’ 1 Peter 1:13, 14 

 Theological/Choices:  “But be transformed by the renewing of your mind….” We can change the choices we have made that have driven us into hurts, habits or hang-ups.  When we remove one of our old habits, we must be able to replace it with a good choice.  Spend quiet time in His word, prayer time, volunteer at your church or a ministry in the area, go to a Bible study, (depending upon your hurt, habit or hang-up) find a support group in your area – these are a few things I found that transformed my mind into healthy habits.  Luke 5:36 talks about not putting a piece of new cloth onto an old garment, the old will tear.  Also, the new piece will not match the old.  2 Corinthians 5:17: If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed, behold all things have become new.

We have become new creations by an amazing Creator!  Are you ready and willing to allow God to take away those defects that you are holding onto?  Another way to phrase that question – are you ready and willing to become free of what has been dragging you down?  Make the choice.  He is ready to step in and give you your heart’s desire.

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Let’s Pray:

Most Gracious Father, we are humbly coming before You with open hearts.  We know we have made choices that have not been pleasing to You.  Help us to be completely willing to allow You to change all our shortcomings.  Teach us, Lord, to do Your will, to not conform to what the world may show us, but to allow You to lead us away from some of our old habits and into Your new path.  Your Word says to be strong and courageous; Lord, we want to be strong through these changes.  Heal the hurts of each one of us and help us to be the people You want us to be.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

We have talked about being willing to allow God to take control and change or remove our character defects.  Have you been able to release control? After you have read the blog, go to our private Facebook page and share a positive change you have seen in your life through your releasing control.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

Life’s Healing Choices: The Commitment Choice

Happy are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Matthew 5:5 (TEV/NIV)

During our second week of the Life’s Healing Choices study, I was confronted in several areas of my life where I must have control.  When I don’t feel like I have the desired level of control, the world spins around me and anxiety reigns in an ugly way.  Conflicts arise in my relationships with my kids & my husband, and the anxiety just grows and grows.  And, gaining my perceived level of control doesn’t make anything better because those around me are already irritated and annoyed with my actions.  So when I read the first page of Chapter 3, I knew this week is going be even more hard-hitting for me.

John Baker writes, “We take desperate measures, trying to keep our life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits up in the air so they don’t come crashing down around us.  We try so hard to keep up a good front- pretending that everything is okay – when in reality, we’re struggling with real pain and real issues that we desperately try to ignore.”  He continues, “we start feeling guilty about our behavior … I should be able to change.”   Yep, once again, I admit … that’s me.  Juggling everything for everybody, hoping nothing comes crashing down, yet I’m crawling inside with anxiety, worry, and fear that my lack of control will be found out.  I should be able to do it all!  I should be able to change the world around me!  I should … I should … I should.

Ah, but there’s where the problem lies.  I was never designed to do it all, or be all.  Especially not in my own power, strength, and energy.  We saw last week how we must plug in to God’s power to overcome our past experiences, and daily strive to become closer to Him.  This week’s lesson will be on letting go. 

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Choice 3: Consciously choosing to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

We will learn the things that keep us from making this choice, how to move forward & toward Him more, and how God will be with us every step of the way.

Remember, God never told us that life would be easy.  But He did promise that our load would be lighter and easier to bear if we allowed Him to walk alongside us.  Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us…

Matthew11_28thru30

When I read that verse, I think of my idea in 2011 to participate in the Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati.  I’m not a runner, but I can walk.  I walk every day … from the parking lot to my office building.  I walk with the family … at fairs, festivals and activities on weekends.  I can handle walking for 13.2 miles … without formal training … because I walk every day!  Pretty crazy, isn’t it?  Well, that was my thinking at the time.  But I showed up, and started walking before dawn that gray, rainy May day.  I saw friends at the 3 mile mark that had come to cheer for our group of walkers.  By the time I saw mile 6, I was near tears.  I did not expect the hills and inclines during the walk, and started doubting my ability to finish.  I condemned myself … “What were you thinking?  Whatever made you think you could do this?  You’ll never finish!”

So, what did I do?  I called a girlfriend in Virginia who had participated in long walking events and cried.  She encouraged me, told me she was proud of me for trying, and said to keep going.  I sent text messages to my mom, and received periodic messages asking where I was in the walk.   I reached out to those who could help me move forward, and 4 hours 7 minutes after I started, I actually finished the half-marathon.  I had blisters on one foot, pain in my hip & ankle from shifting my gait to avoid more blisters, but I finished.  My sister, who had completed the route as a runner, met me at the finish line and told me she was proud of me. While my Encourager’s may not have been with me physically, they helped bear my burden of doubt, provided encouragement, and kept me moving forward … one step at a time.

God may not be physically visible & touchable in our lives.  But He is still there giving us the encouragement, the strength, and the “YOU CAN DO IT” that we need.  Will you turn to Him for whatever challenges you face this week?

 

 Reading Assignment for Week 3: Chapter 3 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 2: The Commitment Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Beginning to Move Forward
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Stepping Across the Line
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice & Action Steps
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

 

Let’s Pray:

Lord, we have all tried to manage our lives on our own, and we’ve failed to do it in ways that fully honor You.  Show us through the week’s study how we can fully turn over all areas of our lives to You.  Your Word promises that we have already been given ALL blessings, so help us recognize daily where You have shown mercy on us.  You will give us the power, strength and desire to do all that’s before us, but we need to surrender to You first.  Thank you for loving us with a love that knows no end.  Amen.

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Power Verses for Chapter 3:

Romans 10:9

Matthew 17:20

Matthew 11:28-30

Psalm 37:5

Psalm 25:5

2 Corinthians 1:9

Psalm 143:10

Proverbs 3:6

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com