April 24, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 4 Review

February 1, 2013 by
  • Realize I am not God
  • Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover
  • Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control
  • OPENLY EXAMINE AND CONFESS MY FAULTS TO MYSELF, TO GOD, AND TO SOMEONE I TRUST
  • V
  • E
  • R
  • Y

 

Matthew5_8

Wow, ladies, after this week I am so glad for that verse – “Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”   The thought that as my heart continues to be refined and purified, I will see God.  As I look around I see Him daily, in the clouds, the flowers, my sons, my work, songs, and in each post and response from all of you amazing women.  God is so good, isn’t He?

The first part of the week we talked about what guilt can do to us:  destroy our confidence, damage our relationships, and keep us stuck in the past.  But through all the guilt, shame, and regrets we may have from our past sins, as we cry out (like David) for God to create that clean and pure heart within us, He is always faithful to forgive and cast our sins as far as the east is from the west.  We begin to chip away at the junk that the past has built up within that heart.

I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)

And they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. (Isaiah 61:4)

Tuesday, Leslie made this challenge: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?  Are you ready to Make time to begin your inventory? Are you ready to Open your heart and mind to allow the feelings that have blocked your healing and recovery then Rely on God’s grace to complete that healing He has for you?  Are you ready to Analyze your past, step out of your denial of the past and step into the truth of the present? Finally, are you ready to List the events of your past?  Please, please, please make sure you list both the good and the bad choices of your past.  We caution you to not just list the bad; there are good choices you have made that you need to list and praise God for those choices, too.

If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward. He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. (1 John 1:9) 

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” (Isaiah 1:18) 

Wednesday, Kim shared how “more, much more than this” she did it her way, as many of us have and may still be trying.  However, there is a time to realize we cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father.  We need to have an accountability partner, someone you can trust and who understands what you are saying is valuable, as a treasure to be handled with care.  Someone who will not sit with their jaw dropped as you speak or gasp when you bear your heart.  And finally someone who knows the Lord, who will be your friend, as well as accountability and prayer partner.

I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears. (Psalm 54:4)

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us. (Philippians 3:13, 14)

Amy closed us out with praying for God’s help through this.  We need to armor up and tap into His power in order to “examine our ways and test them.”  When you begin to write your inventory remember five areas: the person whom you resent or fear; the specific actions that was related to that person; what cause – action effected your life both in past and present; the damage done to your basic needs (social, security or sexual); then honestly determine what part you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part.  We want to make a strong point in those areas of abuse – when you come to the area of what part did you have responsibility for –write NONE or NOT GUILTY – begin feeling freedom from the shame and guilt you have been carrying around with you. Finally, share those areas you wrote with someone you trust, that accountability partner or trusted friend.  This road is not to be traveled alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony….  (Revelation 12:11)

He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask. (Ephesians 3:20)

Ladies, as you are writing your inventory, this is an amazing journey to healing and freedom.  Our Heavenly Father wants to give you anything you can ask for and more.  This is not to be taken lightly as you have carried around these hurts, habits, or hang-ups for some time now.  It may not go away overnight; however know that He has already overcome the world (John 16:33).

I want to circle back around to “create in me a clean heart.”  Read on in Psalm 51, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  T

hen I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you

” (verses 12, 13).  Your journey of confessing your faults, taking time with the Lord, writing your inventory, and sharing with your accountability partner will restore your joy. And it could be such an encouragement for someone God may place in your path that needs to hear your story (His story) at just the right place and just the right time! You will forget the past and look forward to the finish line He has prepared for you.  As Leslie challenged us on Tuesday: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?

 

 

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Let’s Pray:

Oh, Father, we come and sit at Your feet with humbled hearts.  You know we have made both good and bad choices.  Your word says be strong and courageous that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  Father, that is what we are asking, that You give us the strength and courage to follow through this step in chipping away at our past hurts or habits and sharing with a trusted person – one You have placed in our path. Thank You for each woman You have placed in this study; bless them Father.  Take away any guilt or shame they have or are feeling and replace that with the joy and peace that only You can give. We thank You for taking us on this journey and showing us Your incomparable grace.  We love You Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Pray first then begin writing and sharing your inventory.  Take quiet time with the Lord this weekend.  As you begin writing, go to our Facebook group and share with us a scripture God has shown you this week through this step.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog,

please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

 

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Life’s Healing Choices – The Joy of a Pure Heart

January 28, 2013 by

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Happy are the pure in heart. For they shall see God.  Matthew 5:8

 What a promise we are given – we shall see God!!  Not might or possibly, but we SHALL see God!!!  So how do we become pure in heart?  First what is   the definition of pure? Webster’s dictionary says it is ‘unmixed with any other matter.’  John Baker says ‘a pure heart is one that is free and clean of impurities.’ So how do we get to a pure heart?  How do we get our heart, unmixed with anything but God?  After all we all do have regrets, guilt, anger and any combination of many hurts, habits or hang-ups.  How do we recover from these and become pure in heart? How do we let go of our excuses, blame, guilt and shame?  We go to His word and read His promises:

“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool.
Isaiah 1:18

Although we have regrets, guilt, anger, shame, He promises that if we are willing and obedient (v. 19) we will be as white as snow.  His love for us is so strong.  His grace so amazing! We will be pure in heart.

 I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Psalm 32:5

When we acknowledge we have this guilt, anger and blame, He immediately forgives.  Not later, not tomorrow, but immediately – as far as the east is from the west. He forgives.  Then His word says   – ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.’ Psalm 32:8

 

But before we can really clean our hearts, we have to look at what or why we need to clean up.  Don your cleaning rags ladies – it’s time to Clean House!!

 Chapter 4 discusses the three areas in which guilt can cause harm to our lives.

  1. Guilt destroys our confidence. Guilt causes us to worry about what others think, look over our shoulder to see who is really watching and wondering when our big secret will come out.  When I was living in the gay lifestyle, I was constantly looking around, wondering who would drive by and ‘out me.’  I lived in a small community where everyone knew everyone.  You know the kind where your neighbor could tell you what you bought at the store.  So, as you can imagine, unless I was behind closed doors, I was always on the lookout. My guilt was wearing me out!! When I walked out of  that lifestyle and ran to His arms, He welcomed me. It reminds me of the story in Luke 15: 10-32 of the prodigal son who went away from his father to find a ‘better life.’ After he had squandered all that he had, he went back to his father, realizing he had made mistakes.  He took his guilt and told his father to make him as one of the servants for he was not worthy.  What did his father do when he saw him?  He ran to him and prepared a party for his son who was lost: but now was found.  If we lay down the guilt and fear of our lives, and turn back to Him, He will meet us, clothe us in His best robe of righteousness and fill us with His grace – unmixed with any other matter.
  2. Guilt damages our relationships. Feeling guilty over our choices in life can cause us to over or under react to those around us. The guilt can cause us to overcompensate for others, runaway from building relationships and hide from those around us. Again, my guilt was so strong on how I dragged my children through the choice of lifestyle I made.  I overcompensated with material possessions; showered them with presents, food,   activities, all the while withholding the love they needed and deserved as   children. My guilt was destroying every relationship I had in my life.  How could this be made pure?  ‘And   they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations   and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations.’ Isaiah   61:4  If we will confess and move away from our guilt and fear, He will restore and rebuild our relationships – unmixed with any other matter.
  3. Guilt keeps us stuck in the past. Wow, this is a hard one isn’t it?  How do we get past the memories, reflections or regrets of our past?  As John Baker said, ‘it’s like driving a car and always looking in the rearview   mirror.’  I loved this visual! Can you imagine the chaos on the roadways if everyone was always focused behind them?  God may use our past to allow us to encourage others or to give testimony to His glory, grace and   healing.  But we are not to dwell in the past. Joyce Meyer often says, “Let God turn your mess into a message.”  God will take the ‘old you’ and make you new. “If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed   away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 If we leave   our guilt and fears in the past, He will make us new – unmixed with any other matter.

In Psalm 51:10, David cried out to God:

 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 Here he had committed adultery and had Bathsheba’s husband killed in battle. David murdered, lied, and betrayed his nation and almost each time we read about David he is doing something wrong.  He cried out to the Lord to create in him a clean heart.  Fast forward to Acts 13:22 when God had placed David as king and said ‘I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’ So, how do we become pure in heart like David? We repent, learn from our mistakes, become humble, teachable and turn our hearts completely toward God.  We become unmixed with any other matter.

We pray that our hands reach out as His would, our eyes see as His, our feet walk where He would walk and our hearts break as His would.  The things in our past are not as powerful as our Almighty God.  This step may seem pretty scary but which is scarier: continuing to live drag our past with us or feeling the freedom He has to offer?

The rest of this week Leslie, Kim and Amy will discuss how we can move forward and drop those bags of the past. I am going to leave you with an awesome song written from Psalm 51.  Enjoy and make it your prayer today.

 Let’s Pray:

http://youtu.be/bacXQPujfKI

In Jesus Name, Amen!

 

You’re Assignment:

Determine a quiet place, whether it is in your home, park or corner table at your favorite coffee shop.  Prepare your heart for the next step of beginning your inventory.  Go to our Facebook group and tell us where this place will be.  It may encourage or give ideas to others in our group.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.
Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

 

 

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