April 25, 2024

The Meaning of Mercy

April 11, 2014 by

SeekingHimLogo

We have now entered the season of Lent.  For many Christians, Lent is taken as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter where God miraculously redeemed mankind by resurrecting His Son from the dead. It is also a time to consider what Jesus said and did; and how we should be living in light of His Words.  ✞ ♥

During this season, here on the Seeking Him devotional blog, we have chosen to focus our devotionals on Jesus’ instructions and admonition communicated in Matthew chapter 5—the Beatitudes.  Jesus said, “Blessed are…” and He went on to give instruction as to how to be “blessed.”  To be ‘blessed’ is to ‘be happy, or to be envied.’   Truly for the Christian, we ARE blessed—oh, how very blessed we are!  Those who observe our lives should clearly be able to tell that we ARE blessed—and that we KNOW it! ✞ ♥

Please consider Jesus’ instructions along with us.  We pray that our words will encourage you and spur you on to be prepare your hearts for the joyous celebration of His Resurrection!  ✞ ♥

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 
Matthew 5:7 NIV

mer•ci•ful

: treating people with kindness and forgiveness: not cruel or harsh
: having or showing mercy
: giving relief from suffering

I like definitions.  I like to know the exact meaning of words because I think that a lot of words have been lost in translation.  And, despite the emotional power of words, I like to know the exact meaning in addition to the feeling they bring. Merciful is one of these words.  We know the general concept, but I think we often forget what this word really means.

  • Kindness
  • Forgiveness
  • Not cruel
  • Not harsh
  • Giving relief

Mercy takes another step past the feeling it brings and the words used to define it.   Mercy is something we can have and something we can show—merciful should be our way of life.  The thing I love about mercy is that throughout the day we are constantly presented with opportunities to offer mercy to others: while driving and we get cut off; to our snarky co-worker; to the person in a hurry who bumps into us on their way out; to our spouse; to our children.  Mercy isn’t reserved for the pure of heart, in fact it may be most effective on those we feel don’t deserve it.

There is another category of people who deserve our mercy—perhaps the hardest group to offer it to—ourselves.  When I’m working with patients dealing with guilt issues, I always remind them that in most cases it is hardest to forgive ourselves…hardest to show ourselves mercy.

This week I want to incorporate these words into my daily prayers; I want to be intentional in living and showing them to myself and others.  Not because I know what it feels like, or because I know what it means, but because Christ is merciful to me.  He showers mercy on me daily, and because of this I know that I can show it myself and I can show it to others.

Let’s pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, mercy is a common word, yet most of us don’t know what it truly means. Lord, please play these words over and over in our heads this week—”kindness…forgiveness…not cruel…not harsh…giving relief.”  Remind us of the times we were shown mercy and, because You have done so, we can and should do the same.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Filed Under: Seeking Him Daily Devotional Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Mercy to Others

April 10, 2014 by

SeekingHimLogo

We have now entered the season of Lent.  For many Christians, Lent is taken as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter where God miraculously redeemed mankind by resurrecting His Son from the dead. It is also a time to consider what Jesus said and did; and how we should be living in light of His Words.  ✞ ♥

During this season, here on the Seeking Him devotional blog, we have chosen to focus our devotionals on Jesus’ instructions and admonition communicated in Matthew chapter 5—the Beatitudes.  Jesus said, “Blessed are…” and He went on to give instruction as to how to be “blessed.”  To be ‘blessed’ is to ‘be happy, or to be envied.’   Truly for the Christian, we ARE blessed—oh, how very blessed we are!  Those who observe our lives should clearly be able to tell that we ARE blessed—and that we KNOW it! ✞ ♥

Please consider Jesus’ instructions along with us.  We pray that our words will encourage you and spur you on to be prepare your hearts for the joyous celebration of His Resurrection!  ✞ ♥

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 
Matthew 5:7 NIV

Do you ever feel like you have been wronged by someone or by a group of people?  We are going through this right now.  It is a struggle to stay Christ-like in our situation.  We have an unfinished fence and an unwilling neighbor.  This neighbor is using part of our unfinished fence to build their own fence.  Yet, this neighbor is complaining about our unfinished fence and our backyard.  My husband works hard to maintain our backyard.  Also, our neighborhood is in the woods.  Critters abound but we get blamed.  It is hard to show restraint and not bow down to this neighbor’s methods.  Instead of coming to us, this neighbor is creating havoc.  We are showing mercy trying to work with this neighbor, and we are not getting any mercy.  Surely, there is a better way (on the neighbor’s end) to work this out.

As Christians we are supposed to show mercy to those who do us wrong. We are supposed to be forgiving of them. We are supposed to look beyond the sin that is committed against us and be forgiving. Yet it is hard to be merciful when the wronging party does not want to be merciful back.

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged:
condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned:
forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Luke 6:37

It is hard not to be judgmental of our neighbor at this time.  We are trying not condemn them.  It is hard to be forgiving of someone who won’t even come see you face to face.  We are trying not to be judgmental.  We are trying to be merciful and look past human actions.  We are trying to do our part and be forgiving of our neighbor.

God looks past our sins against Him and shows us mercy.  One day He will take us into His Kingdom and bless us with blessings that we can’t even imagine at this time.  We will be given the ultimate mercy.  There will be no more suffering, sickness, sadness, or woe.  There will be ultimate glory and love.

*  ~  ♥  ~   ✞   ~  ♥  ~  *

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your mercy.  Also thank You for giving us the ability to show mercy and be forgiving.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Relationships

April 8, 2014 by

We have now entered the season of Lent.  For many Christians, Lent is taken as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter where God miraculously redeemed mankind by resurrecting His Son from the dead. It is also a time to consider what Jesus said and did; and how we should be living in light of His Words.  ✞ ♥

During this season, here on the Seeking Him devotional blog, we have chosen to focus our devotionals on Jesus’ instructions and admonition communicated in Matthew chapter 5—the Beatitudes.  Jesus said, “Blessed are…” and He went on to give instruction as to how to be “blessed.”  To be ‘blessed’ is to ‘be happy, or to be envied.’   Truly for the Christian, we ARE blessed—oh, how very blessed we are!  Those who observe our lives should clearly be able to tell that we ARE blessed—and that we KNOW it! ✞ ♥

Please consider Jesus’ instructions along with us.  We pray that our words will encourage you and spur you on to be prepare your hearts for the joyous celebration of His Resurrection!  ✞ ♥

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Matthew 5:7 NIV

The word mercy for me conjures up memories of scenes from movies portraying Christ.  Dictionary.com gave this meaning: “compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one’s power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner”. How many times have we been shown mercy in our DAILY walk?  I shudder to think of how I may unknowingly have offended my heavenly Father.

Then I began to think, “How do I show mercy to others?”  Do I become short when I am pressed for time and someone asks me questions?  Yes, unfortunately I feel like I do sometimes.  My boss is an excellent example of showing mercy and being fair.  No matter how busy she is, she takes the time to speak with that person and make them feel valued.

Christ is a perfect example of mercy.  When the woman who was caught in adultery was brought before Jesus for Him to condemn and punish her, He showed her mercy.  He was gentle in His reproach to the men of the synagogue, to the point that they slowly turned away, one by one (see John 8:1-11).  He did not need to be told her background…He already knew her story.  But He also knew the hearts of the men who had brought her to Him.  Jesus loves us unconditionally, and He wants to know us.  His Father will discipline us when necessary, but Jesus will always intercede on our behalf.

My mom told me one day she was mad at me because of a dream she had.  It was this:  Someone had broken into our store.  She had hit the man over the head with a cast iron skillet and knocked him unconscious.  She told me to watch over the man and make sure he didn’t leave while she went to get help.  When she came back she was shocked to see that I was dressing the man’s head wounds! She laughed and I said, ‘Well that sounds like me doesn’t it?’  She just shook her head.

I want to continue to be that person and show compassion and mercy toward others.  When we pray and listen to the Holy Spirit, He will direct our paths and help guide us in our choices.  This will go so far in our own relationships with family and friends.  Remember there are those who watch and learn from your actions and reactions.  Just remember you can start a new way of thinking today. No matter how old you are, with the Holy Spirit, you can begin practicing mercy and compassion toward others.  Once you begin to extend it in all situations, you will feel a new lease on life…a refreshing of your spirit.

*  ~  ♥  ~   ✞   ~  ♥  ~  *

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your gift of mercy.  Show us, Lord, how we can use this gift in our everyday lives.  In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Filed Under: Seeking Him Daily Devotional Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Blessing of Mercy

April 7, 2014 by

SeekingHimLogo

We have now entered the season of Lent.  For many Christians, Lent is taken as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter where God miraculously redeemed mankind by resurrecting His Son from the dead. It is also a time to consider what Jesus said and did; and how we should be living in light of His Words.  ✞ ♥

During this season, here on the Seeking Him devotional blog, we have chosen to focus our devotionals on Jesus’ instructions and admonition communicated in Matthew chapter 5—the Beatitudes.  Jesus said, “Blessed are…” and He went on to give instruction as to how to be “blessed.”  To be ‘blessed’ is to ‘be happy, or to be envied.’   Truly for the Christian, we ARE blessed—oh, how very blessed we are!  Those who observe our lives should clearly be able to tell that we ARE blessed—and that we KNOW it! ✞ ♥

Please consider Jesus’ instructions along with us.  We pray that our words will encourage you and spur you on to be prepare your hearts for the joyous celebration of His Resurrection!  ✞ ♥

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Matthew 5:7

The Beatitudes were not given as commands but as realities for those who are part of Christ’s Kingdom.  We might call them Kingdom-Characteristics or Kingdom-Evidences.  They describe the believer; and, by the same token, they are effective instruments to root out unbelief in the heart and expose an unregenerate condition.  They do reflect attitudes of the heart, but they also explain the way believers will relate not only to God but also to those about them.  Without attempting to slice them too neatly, it does appear that the first four Beatitudes focus primarily on the believer’s relationship with God, while the latter four aim primarily toward others.  All of the Beatitudes have to do with Kingdom Life, and thus each of them will impact all of our relationships.

We speak of having mercy, or showing mercy, or being merciful, but we don’t speak of mercy-ing someone.  Yet mercy is more than a feeling–it’s something that is apparent in our actions.  As Christians, we have been on the receiving end of God’s merciful acts; and so we should be the first to make mercy a characteristic of our lives.

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells the story of a king who forgave one of his slaves who owed him a lot of money.  Although the slave had been forgiven a great debt, nevertheless he went out and had a man thrown in prison who owed him a relative pittance.  The king’s retribution against the slave was severe, because the slave was unwilling to show the same kind of mercy he had received.  Jesus told the story in answer to Peter’s question, “How many times should we forgive someone?”  This is how the Kingdom of Heaven operates, Jesus is saying…as much as mercy has been shown to you (and, in Christ, we have been shown greater mercy than we can comprehend), you show that mercy to others.

The previous Beatitudes have referred to blessings poured out upon those who are oppressed, weak, and in need of mercy.  This Beatitude directs those who might be in a position to help such people to show mercy. I think other Biblical teaching, particularly the example set by the early church in Acts 4, indicates that the Christian’s first object of mercy should be those within the Church. Every church has people who are in need of help—whether physical, financial, or spiritual—and the Body of Christ should be willing to help those people.

But then, every church should also look beyond their own walls to the community, and seek ways to show the love and mercy of Christ to those outside the church. And not simply as a tool to get them to come to church. But rather as a genuine, compassionate outreach that God might be pleased to use us to affect people’s lives–that we might be conduits of the Spirit’s blessings to people who desperately need Him. We can’t change people’s hearts but, through our actions, we can demonstrate the love and mercy of the One who can. It just might be that God would use us to draw people to Himself.

*  ~  ♥  ~   ✞   ~  ♥  ~  *

Lord, thank You for Your mercy upon us. Let the Holy Spirit help us show mercy as a sign of love, too. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Filed Under: Seeking Him Daily Devotional Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Am I Merciful?

April 6, 2014 by

SeekingHimLogo

We have now entered the season of Lent.  For many Christians, Lent is taken as a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter where God miraculously redeemed mankind by resurrecting His Son from the dead. It is also a time to consider what Jesus said and did; and how we should be living in light of His Words.  ✞ ♥

During this season, here on the Seeking Him devotional blog, we have chosen to focus our devotionals on Jesus’ instructions and admonition communicated in Matthew chapter 5—the Beatitudes.  Jesus said, “Blessed are…” and He went on to give instruction as to how to be “blessed.”  To be ‘blessed’ is to ‘be happy, or to be envied.’   Truly for the Christian, we ARE blessed—oh, how very blessed we are!  Those who observe our lives should clearly be able to tell that we ARE blessed—and that we KNOW it! ✞ ♥

Please consider Jesus’ instructions along with us.  We pray that our words will encourage you and spur you on to be prepare your hearts for the joyous celebration of His Resurrection!  ✞ ♥

Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous—
with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation,
regardless of their outward conditions)
are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy!
Matthew 5:7 AMP

As I was researching this verse, what struck me was the call for self-evaluation—am I merciful?  What does it mean to be merciful?  Systematic Theology defines mercy as “…the eternal principle of God’s nature which leads Him to seek eternal salvation….even at the cost of infinite self-sacrifice.”  He extends mercy and grace to us, even to those who oppose Him, both now and forever more.   Am I willing to sacrifice in order to show mercy?   Do I show mercy to those I don’t like, even to those who have hurt me or oppose me? Easton’s Bible Dictionary says mercy is a Christian grace. The Greek Dictionary uses words like “tender, kindly, compassionate.”  Is that who I am?

Joyce Meyer calls the Beatitudes the “Be-Happy-Attitudes.”  Mercy (and being merciful) is just that—an attitude.  It is more than taking action, more than a surface experience.

  • Mercy needs to become ingrained in me.
  • Merciful should be what I am as a Christian.
  • Merciful means I need the right attitude before I take action.

Mercy is not  about overlooking sin or being easygoing in the face of wrong.  It is having sympathy and compassion for those who are hurting.  To be merciful is a heartfelt desire to help, or to alleviate suffering.  Being merciful is to bear the pain and misery of others, without pride, (being aware of the mercy I have been shown) with no expectations, not seeking anything in return.  For Matthew 25:40 tells us “…to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”

There is no better reason to be merciful than the mercy that has been extended to me.  Undeserved mercy!  But our gracious God rewards us when we are merciful. The Amplified Bible says we are “…happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous…” when we are merciful.

  • Proverbs 11:17 tells us: “The merciful man benefits himself [for his deeds return to bless him].”
  • James 2:13 puts it this way: “Mercy triumphs over judgment.”  But we should be merciful even if there are no rewards simply because we are called to be merciful.
  • Micah 6:8 says “And this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”
  • Luke 6:36 states: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

So today I am examining my attitudes.

I want mercy to be who I am, not just something I do.

Maybe you do, too.

*  ~  ♥  ~   ✞   ~  ♥  ~  *

Lord, I am so very thankful You chose to extend mercy to me, even before I knew You.  I did not nor do I deserve the sacrifice You made for me.   But I gratefully accept Your merciful gift.  Please remind me to be merciful in heart and spirit as well as action and deed.  My desire is to become more like You and for others to see You shining through me.  In Your precious and holy name!  Amen, so be it.

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 Review (pp. 166-186)

February 15, 2013 by

■Realize I am not God

■Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover

■Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control

■Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust

■Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character

■EVALUATE ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS. OFFER FORGIVENESS TO THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME AND MAKE AMENDS FOR HARM I HAVE DONE TO OTHERS, EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD HARM THEM OR OTHERS.

■R

■Y

LHC_Chapter6

How much or how many times do we have to forgive?  Let’s take a look at the story where Peter asked Jesus the same question.  Jesus told Peter about the story of the man who owed the king a large sum of money.  The king wanted to settle the account, but the man could not pay. The king showed compassion and forgave the man’s debt.  This same man went out to someone who owed him money, much less of a sum than what he owed the king, and tried to choke the man, demanding he pay up.  “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” Matthew 18:35.  Those may seem like harsh words; however, having unforgiveness in our hearts hinders our relationship with God and others.  When you think about it, that then hinders our following the first two commandments: Love God, love others.

So, let’s review the week:

Monday: We discussed the three reasons why we should forgive others. Because God has forgiven you, because resentment doesn’t work and because you’ll need forgiveness in the future.  That through our accepting the fact that Jesus came to earth, suffered and died on the cross for our sins and was raised to sit with our Father, we then have to believe He said, “It is finished.”  Meaning it is finished for each one of us.  We do not need to worry, carry resentments of others or unforgiveness in our hearts!  We can let go and let God!!  Imagine the peace and freedom that comes with that.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

Tuesday: Leslie talked with us about the 3 R’s in the book: reveal your hurt, release the offender, and replace your hurt with God’s peace.  To reveal our hurt is the easy part, but release the offender?  As Leslie said, “Yeah right, I need to forgive someone who hurt me so badly? They are the ones who had broken my heart in so many ways and did not care at all about it, why should I forgive them?”  How exactly do we do that?  We have to love our enemies, pray for them, and bless them.  Finally, we have to turn it over to God.  By doing so, He will help us to forgive and love them.

With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.
Mark 10:27

Wednesday: Kim discussed how we must stop looking inward and start looking upward.  “It’s been about us for so long. It’s time that it is about someone else or Someone Else. It’s time our lives reflect Whose we are.”  Yes it is.  We need to spend time in prayer and ask God to show us who we need to make amends with and how we make those amends – whether in person, via letter, or the ‘empty chair.’  Our hurts, resentments, and sins are in the past; aren’t you ready to leave them there? Love this: Freedom is yours. Let Him lead you into deliverance. You’ve changed from victim to victor!!

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.
Hebrews 12:14, 15

Thursday: Amy takes us into praying, writing, and sharing about what we have worked through so far.  By asking God to help us both forgive those who have hurt us and make amends to others, we will find freedom because He will guide us in releasing the resentments we have built up for so long.  Writing about these issues helps us see them as real.  It helps you see your responsibility clearly when you write them down and review.  Finally share about it.  It is very important for you to share your inventory with a trusted accountability partner.  This will help you develop a safe plan in making your amends or offering forgiveness.  One thing to remember when making amends or offering forgiveness is that your part is to take your forgiveness or amends to the person.  You cannot control their response.  Freedom comes when we step out in faith to free our hearts from the hurts or offenses we have had.  God will honor that, and give you peace and freedom.

This step is vital in the peace and freedom God has to offer each one of us.  I know I keep saying this but He does want to give us the desires of our hearts and in abundance.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. Psalms 145:17-19

____________________________

Let’s Pray: 

Father, we are so thankful for the grace and love You have given to each one of us.  You are an amazing God and we give You all the honor in what You have done in our lives.  Lord, we are asking now that You lead us through this step of offering forgiveness and making amends.  Help us to forgive those we need to and let go of the resentments we have held onto.  Give us the words to say when we make amends to those we have hurt. Father, I ask that You also heal those we have hurt and go before us in making a way for reconciliation.  Heal the hurt hearts of each one reading this, Lord, and give peace and freedom in their life.  We do love You, Lord, and stand in awe of what You have done and what You are about to do.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!!

Your Assignment:  

Continue praying that God will guide you in offering forgiveness and making amends in a manner that will give freedom to you and those you speak with.  If you have made amends and would be comfortable, please share your comments below.  Pray for all those in this study as we take these steps together.

____________________________

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Repairing Relationships (pp 167-171)

February 11, 2013 by

Choice 6:

Evaluate all my relationships.  Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

___________________________

LHC_Chapter6

This week we are going to look back at our inventory and learn how to repair the damage we have seen in our relationships.  Whether the damage was what we have done to others or what others have done to us, there is one way to repair—through forgiveness.

There are three reasons the book discusses why we should forgive others.

  1. Because God has forgiven you
  2. Because resentment doesn’t work
  3. Because you’ll need forgiveness in the future

Because God has forgiven you – Have you truly accepted God’s forgiveness?  I know for so long I felt I was not worthy of His forgiveness.  Have you accepted that Jesus’ death on the cross paid for all our sins? John 19:30 states Jesus exclaimed from the cross, “It is finished.”  No matter what our sin or how badly we have hurt others, God’s grace is sufficient to forgive completely.  Remember the woman who entered Simon’s home while he was having dinner with Jesus? She took an alabaster box of oil, washed His feet with her tears and anointed His feet with the oil.  When Simon criticized her, Jesus told him, “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.  But to who little is forgiven, the same loves little” (Luke 7:47). Jesus then told her that her sins were forgiven and that her faith had saved her.  This woman knew her sins were great, but also knew the greatness of God’s mercy.  She had accepted His forgiveness and been set free.

Because resentment doesn’t work – This second reason to forgive is all about letting go.  Let go of the pain of the past hurts from others.  If you hold onto those hurts or resentments, they will hold you prisoner.  When you release them, you are free…the doors open and you walk out.

  • Resentment is unreasonable: Resentment can build up into anger.  When we are angry, the only person hurting is ourselves.   We lose sleep, we don’t eat, we overeat, we start becoming more tempted by the addictions that God had removed and we snap out at those around us whom we love.  Let Go and Let God!!
  • Resentment is unhelpful: Can all that we are holding onto really help anything now or in the future?  When we become stressed, it affects all our life—our work, our home, our friends, our loved ones.  Let Go and Let God!!
  • Resentment is unhealthy: The book likened resentment to cancer.  When I read that I went back to when I received the call I had cancer.  I had dropped 30 pounds in 30 days and could barely walk.  After many tests, they had diagnosed me with stage 3 cancer.  That call knocked my feet out from under me.  If resentment is like that I want it to be taken from me, just as God healed me of cancer.

Because you will need forgiveness in the future – There have been and will always be days when we are going to need God’s or someone else’s forgiveness.  When the book stated ‘you cannot receive what you do not give,’ that one statement hit home for me. If I do not forgive other’s I will not receive forgiveness.  So wait, if I do not forgive, I will not receive my Father’s forgiveness.  That is a hard one!  But when you look at it, like all other areas of our lives, we need to take that first step.  If there were 1,000 steps, then yes, God will take the 999 others to get to us, but we have got to take that first step.  To receive salvation, we had to ask.  To receive baptism, we had to believe.  To receive healing, we have to believe.  So to receive forgiveness, we have to forgive.

In my walk out of the alternative lifestyle, I did my inventory and made amends with many people.  You see, as others are making their inventory of how others hurt them, mine was on the other side.  I did much of the hurting.  My choices destroyed my relationships with family and friends.  My choices destroyed four marriages, including my own.  I broke off an engagement at the age of 19, left my husband later at the age of 27, lost custody of my oldest son ( he was 3) at the age of 28…see where I am going?  Although there were those that did hurt me, my laundry list was long.  So the forgiveness I longed for was much greater than any I had to give.

My asking for forgiveness from others was the first, and I had to admit, the easiest.  Sure, there were those that hurt me and I did forgive them, but the hardest parts of forgiveness for me were to accept God’s forgiveness and to forgive myself.  The guilt of my choices was really deep.  I had a difficult time accepting that God had forgiven me.  Through years of destroying relationships with my parents, siblings, friends, ruining marriages—anyone who tried to care was quickly tossed to the side.  After all of the hurt I had caused, how could God forgive me?  I was not worthy; I did not deserve His mercy.

Exactly! Mercy is undeserved merit.  Mercy is not earned, He freely gives it.  We serve an amazingly compassionate God. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:15-16.

His life on earth, death on the cross and resurrection to the right hand of the Father is the reason we receive His mercy for our past and grace for our future.  I had to step up to His throne and boldly receive His forgiveness.  It took some time for me to realize He died for me too.  When He said, “It is finished,” He meant for me, too.  If you are having a hard time accepting God’s forgiveness, try this.  Put your name in front or behind that statement Jesus made. “________, it is finished.”

Once I received God’s forgiveness, He began nurturing me to forgive myself.  Jesus wants an intimate relationship with us.  He wants us to bring all our burdens, hurts, guilt, and shame to Him.  I love The Living Bible translation of this verse, it make this so personal. “Come, let’s talk this over! Says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.  Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!  If you will only let Me help you” Isaiah 1:18-19.  ‘Come, let’s talk’–-I can visualize Jesus saying–‘grab your coffee, let’s talk.’  He made the heavens and the earth (in six days), He set the stars perfectly in the sky, He walked me out of the gay lifestyle. He healed my cancer. He gave me two miracles through my sons. He put joy in my life through my brother. He gave me amazing family and friends and He has allowed me to share His testimony of my life with all of you.  How can I not listen and accept His forgiveness?   I urge each one of you to step boldly before His throne.  Take that one step and He will take the 999.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we are so grateful to be able to talk with You.  To spend time with You.  Help us to take that one step toward forgiveness.  We admit there are times when it is hard, Lord, to forgive others, ourselves, or to accept Your forgiveness.  Help us to trust You when You say there is no condemnation, and that You will turn our sins as white as snow.  Father, You cannot lie and Your word says there is NO condemnation—we believe and receive that today.  Help us to walk in that, Lord, and be able to forgive and let go of any resentments we are holding onto.

Lord, as we go through this week, guide us to those we need to make amends with—let us talk when we need to and be quiet when we need to.  Open our hearts to hear from You and give us the strength and courage we need to take this step.  Heal our hearts from the hurts, Lord.  We love You, Father.  We give all the glory and honor to You.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

When we are talking of forgiveness, which is hardest: Forgiving others?  Accepting God’s forgiveness? Or  forgiving yourself? (You can also go to our private Facebook page and share there, as well.)

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If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Relationships (pgs 166 – 203)

February 10, 2013 by

Choice 6:

Evaluate all my relationships.

Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others.

LHC_Chapter6

Forgiveness isn’t based on a feeling. Think about it, do you ever feel like forgiving someone? Or do you ruminate over ways to get back at them, or hope they get what they deserve? We keep score. We tally up the wrongs and maybe consider what they did right. We spout out “vengeance is MINE” but we forget the last part, ‘Says The Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
This week in Life’s Healing Choices we’ll take steps to mend relationships. Now, this doesn’t mean we will magically have the Hallmark moments, grand reunions, tears of joy from our reconciliations. But it will bring freedom from the harbored emotions when we let it all go in to His hands.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13 NLT

Now, if you had asked me at the time what good would come out of my failed marriages, I would have said nothing. Today, I can look back and see God’s guiding hand, bringing me to a healthier place in life. All because of His mercy & love.

When I met my ex-husband, I was ending a bad marriage and an affair … definitely NOT the time I should have been getting involved with anyone else. But he swooped down and took care of me by making me laugh, doing small things to show he appreciated me, surprised me with visits & phone calls. It was the romancing and wooing we all want. Looking back, I should have seen signs that things weren’t going to work out well. Friends joked that he had bad luck, nothing ever turned out well for him, etc. Sometimes he was the brunt of the jokes just because his choices usually led to poor outcomes. But he had explanations for everything (excuses, really), and I wanted the companionship too much to listen. At one point, his mother commented that I was the best thing to ever happen to her son, but she didn’t know what I saw in him. Wow … did I really just hear that from his mom? Hindsight being what it is, I wish I had explored that comment more deeply. Instead, I listened when he told me the relationship with his mom had been strained since his parent’s divorce and he was closer to his dad.

Fast-forward about 4 years and you’ll find us married, raising a new baby, juggling jobs with family life. We quarreled about his excessive time on the computer or role-playing games with friends. He was too distracted to really be a good husband or father. We had just purchased our first home together. Our jobs were solid with promising futures. I had finished a college program; he was just starting one. The bad times seemed justified by the stress around us.

Suddenly, in a flash, it all came crumbling down around me. In the blink of an eye, I learned of lies, inner demons, addictions, and secrets that he had been keeping from me … from everyone, really. This changed everything about my life without my knowledge, agreement or consent! But for the first time in my life, I didn’t blame God. I didn’t curse at Him, demanding to know what I had done to deserve this fate.  I turned to God. I cried out to Him with a desperation I had not felt before, because I knew He was always there for me.

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.

He freed me from all my fears.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  

Ps 34:4-5 NLT

During this time, I was embraced by a church community. I learned what God’s “peace that passes all understanding” truly feels like (Philippians 4:7). I learned to lean on Him. I learned to accept help from others around me. I learned to trust again. I learned to love again. I learned to forgive.
I read once that harboring anger, resentment and an unforgiving heart only hurts us. The other person goes on with their life, without a care in the world, completely oblivious to the fact we’re fuming and miserable. We may be angry, but it doesn’t affect their life any anyway. So until we learn to let it go, it continues to eat away at us, hardening our heart more and more with each passing day.

It wasn’t an easy process, I assure you. And, I can’t give a date when it happened. I just know that through the following years, my heart softened as I learned more about my identity in Christ. I accepted more that he needed God’s love more than I needed to hate him. At one time, his dad asked if I could help find a Bible for him. They were not believers or church-going people. Rather than tell them what to buy, or ignore their request, I went out and bought one myself. Yes, I bought a Bible for my ex-husband even after all the pain he caused. I realized that I didn’t want to face God one day and have Him say, “all I wanted you to do was give him a Bible, and you said no.” I was being asked to do a simple task, and I answered His call.  People ask me how I could forgive him for what he did to his family and friends. How could I not knowing the lengths God went to in order to forgive me? Romans 3:24 CEV

But God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.

I stood before a judge and gave my testimony, something called a “victim’s impact statement.” I shared the details of that fateful day. I recalled the excuses and lack of responsibility my ex-husband displayed. And, I shared that I forgave him and how it was by God’s grace that I could stand before them that day. It was the last time I saw my ex-husband face to face. I will never forget the past, and there are days when the pain is still felt and the sorrow washes over me. But the good news is that I don’t harbor the resentment, the animosity … the hatred that initially consumed me. All credit for this transformation of my heart goes to God, and God alone.
This week, we’ll explore more on making amends.

Reading Assignment for Week 6: Chapter 6 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 6: The Relationship Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss How do you forgive Others (& Self)?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Repair by Making Amends
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

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Let’s Pray:
Lord, we cannot begin to thank You enough for the gift of Your forgiveness through Jesus Christ. To know You gave Your Son on our behalf gives us strength to extend grace and mercy to those who have offended us. It’s not an easy task, but it is something we strive for through our healing process. We know that letting go of the pain and resentment is necessary so that we can become more like You. Bless all who read and follow our study this week. Amen.

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Power Verses for Chapter 5:
Luke 6:31-37
Hebrews 10:24
Philippians 2:4
Romans 12:17-18
Matthew 5:23-24
1 Peter 5:10
Colossians 3:13
Romans 8:31
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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If you are interested in joining us for the “Life’s Healing Choices” online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to email Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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