November 27, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 3 – Teacher Relationships Are Challenging

November 28, 2012 by

I am honestly so thankful for the teachers I had throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years. With each teacher, I was challenged in a different way. Did I like it at the time? Not always. Did I always see eye to eye with every teacher I had? Absolutely NOT!

But throughout my school years, and especially as I got older, I learned the importance of submitting to authority. There were definitely some times when I felt a teacher was being unfair, and then there were some times when I felt a teacher wasn’t teaching. In both cases, I had to learn that it is THEIR classroom, not mine. They were given this job for a reason, and they were there to help me become the best student I could be. Romans 13:1 says, “…for there is no authority except that which God has established.”

I didn’t always agree with a teacher when they assigned a paper on a Monday that was due on a Friday. I threw many tantrums in those instances, I assure you. But I had to do it. School was my job at the time. Was it supposed to be number one in my life? Absolutely NOT. I would often say, “God loves me regardless of my grades.” Very true, but God also wants me to do everything with excellence. Perfection? Nope. Excellence… To the very best of my ability. Did I do that? Honestly, no. I wish that I had, though. School was where the Lord wanted me at the time. And it was my responsibility to get things done.

Part of being the best student you can be is respecting your teachers. It takes a little while at the beginning of the year to know what a teacher’s expectations are or how they like certain things done, but once you figure those things out, you should try your best to do your work in a way that would please them. By respecting them and submitting to their authority, you are honoring your Father in Heaven. And who knows, the way you act toward your teachers may show THEM or your peers the love of Jesus.

Pray with me-

God, THANK YOU for our teachers! Thank You for placing people in our lives that challenge us and want us to do our best. Lord, give us patience and compassion when our teachers do not do things how we think they should be done. Give us Your heart toward them and our school work. In the future, place teachers in our paths that will challenge us in the best way and will teach us to be loving and compassionate. Amen

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: The Helmet of Salvation – The Sword of the Spirit – Don’t be a Martyr be a Missionary!

November 28, 2012 by

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

As I was reading these parts of the chapter today, a song came to mind:

“Put on the garment of praise

for the spirit of heaviness

lift up your voice to God

Praise with the Spirit

and with understanding

O magnify the Lord!”

I find that music will lift me up and put me in the right frame of mind when I’m battling something. It also blocks out thoughts that the enemy puts in my head by replacing them with scripture to build me up. It reminds me who always wins the battle!

Our thoughts can be a real battle for us at times. I know I’m guilty of this. A thought creeps in and I go with it instead of giving it to God. When we do this, the enemy can fly! Then one thought leads to another, invading our mind, and before you know it, we’re having our own little pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christs representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough! Sound familiar?

That’s why it’s so important to put on the Helmet of Salvation and take up the Sword of the Spirit on a very regular basis. The Helmet and the Sword are our protection from ungodly thoughts that we let enter our minds. We do choose to let them in, because we have the power to reject them immediately by equipping ourselves. We need the Armor everyday in order to face the battle, and the liar,  head on! Letting these thoughts come in says we are in control. We become martyrs for the cause! But we don’t need to live like this!  God’s got this for us if we only put that Armor on and yield it to Him. And we can, just by asking.

Can you imagine our Bible heroes saying in defeat; “I can’t do this”?  How about Daniel, when they said he must bow? He followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  How about Esther? She also followed what she felt God was telling her to do. She fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”!  How about the ULTIMATE sacrifice? Christ, when he went to the cross? He went into the garden to pray first-to put on his Armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done”  then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

I believe all of these were examples to us, they set a pattern for us. Especially Christ, who was God and didn’t have to, but He prayed first, putting on the Armor for the battle ahead of Him. He had the power to say no and not go through with his crucifixion, but he gave it all up for us.

I agree with Dineen when she says ” the key is to change our perception and quit seeing ourselves as martyrs in our marriage, but instead put on the label of missionaries” We are not alone. We can help each other stand in the gap when someone goes down, or we can fight the battle on our own. But first, and foremost, we must remember to put on that Armor everyday and not go into the battle unprotected.

It’s our choice, get up and put on the Armor and start fighting for our husbands until God intervenes and saves him or go into the battle unprepared and unprotected and feel like all is lost. I choose the winning side, I choose to fully equip myself with the weapons of mass destruction that the Lord has provided for me, if only I ask.

Here I am, Lord, asking………

God bless,

Donna

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Lets pray:

Lord we choose the full armor of you for our battles today. You promised that you’d be there with us when we ask. Clothe us with your armor for the battle for the glory of winning our husbands for you! Thank you Lord for providing this for us.  In Jesus name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

What is holding you back from putting on that armor every day? Let’s name them and then pray for each other, that we can rid ourselves of these hindrances and be victorious in our battles.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 2 – Extracurricular Activities are Stressful

November 27, 2012 by

 

Extracurricular Activities are Stressful

When I was younger, much younger, I had BIG dreams.  I felt that God had BIG PLANS for my life…but I was stuck.  At least I felt stuck.  I began seeking God and His plans for me when I was about 12 years old and continued to watch for Him through my teens.  It wasn’t always easy to stay on the straight path and sometimes I strayed.  Having too many extracurricular activities was not a problem where I grew up.  There was nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to do.  Boredom can steal your focus from God just as much as being too busy can.  As I began parenting my girls, I wanted them to experience all that God’s world had to offer.  I wanted them to be able to try things and see where their passions would lie.  I wanted them to grow up with few regrets of things that might have been.

We tried various sports, dance, clubs, groups, camps and mission trips.  We went on field trips, read books and traveled.  Hopefully the girls were able to experience things in their lives that would point them to their God-given passions and abilities.  I encouraged the girls to try everything at least once and the things they liked…DO IT AGAIN.

When middle school came I asked the girls to do everything they had any interest in, but by high school they had to pick one interest.  My daughter Michele tried basketball, clubs, band and peer tutoring.  Lindsay didn’t really have any interests in and around school, she wanted to dance ballet.  Robin is sports-gifted so she tried tennis, basketball, cross-country, soccer, a little bit of golf and band.  By the time high school came around, Michele had dropped band and sports, but kept her grades high and found that she loved to help kids learn.  Lindsay still didn’t like the organization of school much, but loved her ballet classes.  Now she is enjoying being able to choose her college classes on her schedule much better than high school.  Robin chose to play soccer, keep her grades high and volunteer her time at church.

These are only three daughters from the same family with the same values seeking to find their place in God’s family.  It gets crazy at our house trying to balance everyone’s schedule, but the most important thing is to keep God FIRST and all the other STUFF falls into place.  Our family MOTTO is “You have time for what you make time for”.  If God says, “Where’s MY time?” the answer better not be “I didn’t have time”.  He gave up something pretty important for you, so you should be willing to give up a little something for HIM.

There is a famous quote from George Bernard Shaw: “Youth is Wasted On the Young”.  I think it is famous because all of us old people wish we had YOUR energy and potential with OUR wisdom and we would have made better choices when we had the chance.  In the Bible…in Ecclesiates, King Solomon says that it is good to be young and enjoy life.  Solomon lived life to the fullest.  He tried everything under the sun and you know what he found out???  It’s all meaningless unless GOD is there.

Take every opportunity to try new things and meet new people.  Put God first and let him light the way to those new things.  You will NEVER regret one minute following God.  You WILL regret leaving him out.  I promise.  Don’t waste your youth being stupid.  Your life is a GIFT, give it back to God and see what He wants to make of it.

What you ARE is God’s gift to you.  What you make of it is your gift to God.

Let’s PRAY:

Dear Father, Thank you for the gift of this life and the opportunities in it.  Thank you for giving us individual passions and desires that aren’t like anyone else’s.  Help us to find our place in your BIG family.  Help us find balance when life seems overwhelming, stressful and gets us down.  We know you love us and forgive us when we fail.  Help us to forgive ourselves and move even closer to you.  We love you.  Be patient with us as we learn to show you how much we love you with our actions.    AMEN

Be Blessed,

Mama T  <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Move from Hurt to Healing – The Seasons of Marriage

November 19, 2012 by

The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?

Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:

Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.

Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.

Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.

Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.

As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.

This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.

Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check  and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.

Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.

Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….

Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..

As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were,  as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”.   The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn.   You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.

You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God.  The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time  in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.

We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy.   We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.

Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.

Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!

Let’s Pray:

God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray.  Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,

Beverly

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

November 15, 2012 by

“The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

_____________________

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

_____________________

Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Let’s Have a Word

November 14, 2012 by

The tongue can bring death or life;

those who love to talk will reap consequences.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

The verse for today really intrigued me, so I looked it up in the NAS version of the Bible. It sent me to two other verses:

Matthew 12:37  “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” and also Proverbs 13:3  “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”.

They are all equally a warning to us. The truth is we must speak our words carefully. Not only for ourselves, but also for the ones we love. We have the ability to tear down or build up those whom we love on a daily basis. I know this for a fact, as I grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot of building up.

In my home, as we grew up, there weren’t a lot of positive, encouraging words spoken. In fact, most of what we heard was very destructive to my life. I suffered self-esteem issues as a teenager and even into adult years. I never trusted anyone to really love me for myself until I met Jesus. When I met the Lord, I never knew anyone could love me unconditionally.  He had a lot to teach me!  But, as a result of my home life, I also suffered from depression and thoughts of suicide during the tumultuous teen years.

I also met my husband at a young age, too. Between him and God, I learned what real love was. Ronald seemed to genuinely love me through all of it. He was a rock for me and proved it over and over with words of love and encouragement whenever he could.  He made me feel I was worth something.  I didn’t always receive them; in fact I doubted them a lot!  But he meant every word he said!  He stuck with me through that time and is still here 35 years later!!

I also read a lot of scripture then and tried to focus on that.  I know that we really need to realize when, how, and what we speak because words touch us in ways that can be good or bad.  Things we say in anger can really hurt our husbands and loved ones.  I am a testament to that. Our relationships are shaped and nurtured through our words.

My son, who has gone through alcohol and drug abuse when he was a teen, said that had we not told him every day that we loved him and were praying for him daily during that time, he would not be here. We spoke life and healing words to his soul as often as we could, and I believe I still have my son because of those words.  That is how God speaks to us.

What words does the Father say to us that we can hang onto and speak to our spouses?

*Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that He knows us and has a plan for our lives!

*1Peter 5:7  Tells us to cast our cares on Him for he cares for us affectionately and watches over us.

*Romans 5:8 Tells us that even when we still in sin God loved us and Christ died for us.

* Psalms 62:8 Says trust in Him and we can pour out our hearts to Him because he is our refuge.

* Psalm 147:3 Says He heals the broken hearted and binds up our wounds.

* Psalm 103:8 God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

*Psalm 103:13 Says God shows us compassion just as a father would.

These are words form our loving God and Father! He speaks life and love to us throughout His word. Can we be any different? Unfortunately I am sometimes.  Matthew 12:36 says that “we will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken”.   That should give us pause to think before we speak.

I try, and often fail, to speak words of life and love to my husband everyday. I even text him throughout the day to let him know I’m praying for him. It’s an easy thing to do, so why don’t I do it all the time? Ladies can we purpose today to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands? It benefits him as well as us. It shows him you love him and are concerned for him.  It builds him up and in turn you are built up, as well.  That can only benefit your marriage if you build one another up.  And it gets easier the more you do it!

Like Lynn, I want my words to speak life and healing.  How about you?

________________________

Let’s pray:

Lord we thank You for the gift of words. We thank You that You love us through Your word. Help us to always speak life and healing to our husbands and shut our mouths when we are tempted to tear them down. Give us the right words at the right time to say. Thank You for being our example of what words can do. In Jesus name-Amen

Your Assignment:

I’ve already texted my husband and told him how much I appreciate his working hard and for the provision for our family. I know that is important to him.  What life words can you speak specifically to your husband, whether in a text, phone call, note, or even right to him, that will build him up and make his day? Comment below and show us how we can do the same.

I pray you all will have a life building day!

Donna

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Guarding the Treasure

November 8, 2012 by

Over the past two years I have been honored to stand in four different weddings of women I prayed with, laughed with, grew with, and watched fall deeply in love with the man of their dreams. I have seen relationships grow from friendship to marriage. I have been blessed to watch newlyweds and long married couples invite their first or second child into the world. I have talked my friends through the process of deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a man they were interested in.

Let’s be honest, I have done my fair share of relationship watching. But the one thing that I have not done is gone on a date. That’s right, I have not been on one single date in the past two years, and let me tell you something…it is not easy watching friend after friend meet the person they will spend the rest of their lives with and begin that process, while I am left single, alone, and in the dust with out even a possibility.

Why do I start this post out with what seems to be a complaint about my relationship status? Not for sympathy or a pat on the back. Not so that you set me up with some suitor or encourage me to get my feet wet. But to share with you, that I have not been out with men because I am guarding my treasure. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. When everyone else is happily in love and oogling over their latest romance, I do most certainly get quite lonely at times. I would love to have a fling, lock lips with a handsome male friend, or even just go on a date for fun. But I have committed myself to guarding my heart, my body, and my love.

The author writes about some practical ways to avoid making decisions that will give away your treasure too soon. Ladies, this does not just mean your virginity or your body. This sometimes even means your words and your affection. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all love the coos and sweet words of men who desire to share some sort of intimacy with us. It makes us feel cared about, important, wanted, and maybe even loved. But we ought not give our love to every man who speaks whispers those sweet nothings into our ears. The reality of the situation is, there is a great chance that you may not end up with the most recent sweet-talker to grace your paths.

Let me be clear here: this is not a man bash. There are many great intentioned males out there who mean what they say and have actions to back it up. But while you wait for Mr. Right, please do not throw yourself at every man who says you are beautiful, unique, or special. Even if you are in the midst of a relationship that you think could be the one, you may want to go as far as asking this man not to pour out words of adornment until you are in a more committed stage of your relationship. Explain what it does to your heart. A good man will be able to prove how much he cares for you without using words. He will make you feel beautiful, unique and special by the way that he treats you. If he is using words and not backing them up with actions, please, ladies, DO NOT stick around expecting him to change! There are good men out there who will treat you like the woman of God that you are, so don’t settle for a man who does not hold himself, and you to those standards!

Best of all if you are guarding your treasure, when you meet the right man, you will not hear yourself echoing words that you once said to a former lover. You will not find yourself repeating actions that were once special with another man, but rather you will find that all of the adorable phrases and enjoyable “you-isms” will be safe for just this one man. Trust me, I know that it is difficult to watch your sisters and friends sharing these intimate moments with men left and right. It is so hard not to get sucked into wanting it for yourself, right now! However, we will all find in the end that the moments of intimacy lost on men who mean nothing will take away from the man who will mean everything. And the moments that you save will be that much more special!

____________________________

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with the emotions and desires that we have! Thank you for knowing exactly how we can best use those emotions and desires. Give us the patience to save our energies for the man who you have in design for us. Let us invest our hearts in you for the comfort we lack during this time of singleness, so that we are better able to love our husbands when the time comes. Please bless us in this week as we enter into a deeper intimacy with you. Amen.

Your Assignment

 Talk with some of your sisters in Christ and/or an accountability partner about what your standards should be for a man. Write down a list of ways that you can protect your purity, and your heart when you do go out with a man you are interested in. Report back with one or two ways you have been doing that in your relationships with men.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: A Confession

November 6, 2012 by

Peter wrote this letter sometime between A.D. 60 and 64. Women in the first century had no legal rights. The husband and father was the ultimate authority over everyone in the household, including his wife. If the husband did not believe in Christ, Peter assured Christian women that they did not have to preach to their husbands. In fact, direct confrontation may even backfire. However, women could still show Christ to their husbands – by their behavior and character – not by their words.

In this section of our book, Dineen relates a story about an encounter she has with a receptionist at the doctor’s office. She was ashamed at her reaction to the situation. She silently prayed, asking God for the opportunity to apologize to this harried worker. The woman comes up to her right then and Dineen is able to apologize.

The best part of this whole story is that Dineen felt led by the Holy Spirit to share this entire encounter with her unbelieving husband. Every detail – even the not-so-Christian parts. And he was proud of her.

He saw the not-so-perfect part of her and he was proud.

How often do you let your husband see the not-so-Christian parts of you? Do you hide your true self from him for fear of what he might think or say? Do you fear that you might “look bad” or “unChristian” if you are authentic, if you really let your hair down and let your unbelieving spouse see everything? Do you think you might give Jesus a “bad name”?

What do you think would happen? Make a list. I’ll wait.

Are any of these things on your list?

  • My husband might laugh at me
  • My husband might mock me
  • My husband might say I’m not really a Christian
  • My husband thinks I should be perfect if I’m a Christian
  • My husband’s words might hurt my feelings

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV)

The Holy Spirit that the Lord poured into you when you were saved is a spirit of POWER, LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND. There is one thing it is not – a spirit of fear. Even though your spouse’s words or actions may hurt you in the moment, remember that you have a power living within you that is greater than those hurtful words or actions. A power that parted the Red Sea and raised our Savior from the dead. That power is alive in you!

Girlfriends, when we are authentic, our unbelieving husbands can relate to us. They do not feel like they have to compete with this guy named Jesus. They see that we can own up to our mistakes, repent, and ask forgiveness of anyone we may have wronged. But, even more so, they will see that we are NOT perfect – and they do not have to be either. They will see that Jesus loves us anyway, even when we do mess up. And we WILL mess up! It is only through Christ that we are made perfect.

Today is the day, my dear friends. It is time to lay down the idol of perfection. We cannot be an authentic warrior for Christ if we pretend to have it all together. It is through our authenticity that Christ uses us to reach other people with the Good News of his saving grace. Are you ready to let go of the need to be a perfect Christian in front of your unsaved husband and let Jesus use your authentic self for His glory?

*****

Let’s Pray: Father God, in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, we come to you asking for your forgiveness. Lord, please forgive us if we have tried too hard to be a perfect Christian in front of the unbelievers in our lives. Align our hearts with yours and show us how to live authentically in front of our unsaved spouses and how to glorify your name through our gentle and quiet spirits. In your holy name we pray, Amen!

Your Assignment: Post the list that you made from the blog assignment – What do you think would happen if your unsaved spouse saw the “not-so-perfect, “unChristian” parts of you? Pray over these things and ask God to show you the truth from His Word.

Have a Blessed Week!

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words – Weekly Review

November 2, 2012 by

 

This week marks the halfway mark on our journey through Winning Him Without Words. What a ride it has been, as we have laughed, prayed, and learned new insights together about how to live our life before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.

Before we move on, may I share a scene with you of the Israelites on their journey to The Promise Land [Exodus 14]. Perhaps it will be an encouragement to us on our journey.

Moses had just lead over six hundred thousand Israelites, along with their herd of cattle, out of Egypt where they had been slaves for over 430 years.  At last they were on their way to Canaan, the land God had promised was theirs to inherit.

But Pharaoh, the Egyptian king and his army, came after them in hot pursuit.  When the Israelites saw Pharaoh and his army coming, they began to cry out to Moses:  “It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die out here in The Wilderness.”

God spoke to Moses and said:

Tell the children of Israel to “GO FORWARD.”

“Go forward?”  “The Red Sea is in front of us!”  “Are you sure, God?”

But God knew what do about The Red Sea.  “Stretch out your hand over the sea,” were His words to Moses.  As Moses stretched his hand over the sea, the waters divided, the sea became dry land, and they crossed to the other side. The sea returned, and all the Egyptians drowned.  Thus the Lord saved Israel that day out of the hands of the Egyptians, and they continued on their journey.

Now, one would think that after that miraculous delivery that the Israelites would never doubt that they could not make it to Canaan and receive the inheritance God had promised them.  However, only two people of the original group, Joshua and Caleb, made it to Canaan.

Why only two?  Could it be that Joshua and Caleb made it into Canaan because they never lost sight of the vision God had given them.  Not only that, but they acted upon that vision despite the circumstances they faced and the people around them who didn’t believe it was possible.

I believe that God is saying to us: GO FORWARD with the vision He has given us for our marriage!  And yes, He can part The Red Sea in our life to get us there.

This week, at our halfway stop in Chapter 5, Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah gave us good insights to go forward by: Believing Our Marriage is Blessed.

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Let’s review their points now.

Monday:  Believe your Marriage is Blessed – The Way to Mismatchdom – -Beverly points to the question that we who are in an unequally yoked marriage are often asked:  “Did you know he wasn’t a Christian when you married him?”

In Beverly’s case, she did know that her husband wasn’t a Christian prior to marriage.  But, as she points out, she could not then and even now after all these years change him.

However, Beverly has learned powerful lessons in her spiritually mismatched marriage:

  • We aren’t better than our spouse just because we are the believer.
  • A superior attitude is not showing or providing a warm welcome to who Jesus is.
  • Don’t give up, God is fully aware of the situation.
  • Recognize God’s presence.
  • Relax and stop trying to do God’s job.

These lessons she has learned provides a real moment of truth:  Only then can we begin to enjoy marriage, tensions will ease, and we won’t have to constantly be talking to our man about our faith.  We are living it in front of them  (remember, actions speak louder than words) they will see!

May we do likewise

Tuesday:  “The Call to Obedience” / “God’s Plan for Your Marriage” – – Jennifer starts off on the call to obedience with Dineen’s statement on page 85.  “What God requires of all covenant relationships, including marriages, is that He be at the center, whether your husband believes in Jesus or not.”

Jennifer then asks us some very pointed questions:

  1. What defines your relationship with Jesus?
  2. Is it defined by whether or not your spouse comes to faith?
  3. Is it defined by you being able to pray with your spouse or being able to read Bible passages together?
  4. Is it defined by going to church with your spouse…or not?
  5. Why does my (or your) relationship with our mighty Savior depend on the actions (or inactions) of another sinful, imperfect human

Jennifer makes a very valid point in conclusion:  Since WE believe, WE bring Jesus into our marriage. And that, my dear friends, is powerful. Soak that it. Rest in that truth. Whether you see God in your marriage right now or not, I promise you HE IS THERE and HE IS WORKING

May we do likewise

Wednesday:  Are We the Sweet Aroma of Christ, Or the Stench of Death?  Donna had never given a thought before as to how she “smelled” as a Christian!

But, it made her think of a favorite aunt whose aroma was always so sweet, not only because of her perfume, but because she radiated love to her.  She made Donna feel special and that she mattered to her.  Her love was genuine and Donna could sense it, smell it, and see it.

Donna pointed out that is what is the kind of aroma God wants us to give off to our loved ones, according to 2 Corinthians 2:14-16.

Ask yourself:

  • Does he see me living out my faith as the aroma of Christ?
  • Does he something in me that he longs for in the deepest depths of his soul?
  • Or does he see an ugly example that turns him off?
  • Do I want to be the aroma of death, stinky, decaying, rotting, death? Or do I want to give off the sweet, loving, breathtaking aroma of Christ?
  • “I choose Christ.”

May we do likewise

Thursday:  Blessed Doesn’t Mean Easy – Sarah ends the week by bringing us back to “giving thanks” for being in a mismatched marriage or any problem, for that matter, that we encounter.

Our natural tendency, as Sarah pointed out, is to focus on the problem and not the blessing God is trying to show us, or the lesson He would like us to grasp.  However, that doesn’t help or fix the issue.

Sarah challenges us to “turn your thinking around and see it through God’s eyes.  Look out, because your whole demeanor is going to change. You will be happy, worry free, stress free.”

Sarah, herself, has started doing this in many areas of her life and, I quote:  “the transformation in me was almost instantaneous!”

May we do likewise.

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us during the first five weeks on our journey in Winning Him Without Words. Help us to Go Forward remembering as we go, that “we can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens us.” In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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Lady in Waiting: Meditations

November 1, 2012 by

“You are my daughter.” “You are a priestess.” “You are a child of the Most High God.”

“Quiet your heart and rest.” “My child, I love you.”

The times that I wait to listen for the Lord’s voice are few and far between, but these are some of the words he has spoken when I have asked. And these words from the Lord have meant the world to me. When I take the time to meditate on his word, when I seek him in prayer, when I journal, and when I wait for his responses, I begin to build a deeply intimate relationship with the God that I love. I get to know the God of Scripture, rather than simply the God I have been told about or have decided he was. I hear his heart for me and I learn when he aches for me.

Meditation on the Lord is not an easy feat. It is hard to rest, relax, and shake the things of this world out of your mind, in order to hear the Lord’s voice better. The competing and often opposing words of the world sometimes shout into your ear as you wait on him. And the enemy longs to convince us that the things we are hearing are simply not true. So, how do we know they are from him, and not just made up in our minds? We turn to Scripture to learn about who God is, and the promises he has made to us. Here are some of the verses affirming the gentle whispers that the Lord has spoken to me:

“Some of the tree’s branches were pruned and you wild olive shoots were grafted in…” (Romans 11:17a The Message)

 

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9 NIV)

 

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”” (Psalm 4:10 NIV)

 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV)

The times that I actually wait to listen for my Lover’s voice are few and far between. Yet I rarely shut out the voices of all the lovers of this world; rather, I hold their opinions and thoughts to quite a high standard. But the only way to differentiate our Lover’s voice from the voices of those around us is to know Scripture. Find a devotion plan that will help you to work through the books of the Bible at a pace that is good for you. Find a quiet place where you will not be bothered (this could even be a coffee shop or a book store with a reading space if you fear you will be bothered at home!) Take a journal, and take notes of the verses that stand out to you. In your prayer time, ask the Lord to engrave these things on your heart.

If you are having trouble focusing or hearing the Lord, write down everything that is distracting you from him and decide that those are not things you are going to focus on for the next half hour. The enemy wants those distractions to come up, but our God desires our heart even more. Ask the Holy Spirit to come into this time with you and protect you from the attacks of the enemy.

What would the Lord have to say to you if you took the time to hear? What gentle reminders would he whisper into your ear? What convictions would he strengthen, what sorrows would he quiet, and what desires would he quench? I ask myself these questions today, just as I am asking you. Our Heavenly Father has plenty to say, if we open our ears, put our talking on pause, and listen!

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I ask right now that you would cleanse our minds from the things of this world. We long to meditate on your word so that we can know you deeper. As single women, we know that we have even more time now than we ever will to get to know you intimately. Give each of us the mind of Christ, to hear your voice. Holy Spirit, protect us from the attacks of the enemy that keep us from hearing you. Engrave you Word on our hearts, Lord. We love you. Amen.

Your Assignment:

When was the last time you spent more than 15 minutes talking with God? To be completely honest, I have made many excuses to not spend time with him because of how early I get up for work. Put those excuses away! This is the most important relationship you will ever, ever, ever have! Let’s sit down and look at our schedule for next week. Find a time on each day that you can get quiet with God. Read Scripture for 30 minutes, and then spend time praying and listening to him for 30 minutes. I’d encourage you to take a journal and write down anything he says!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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