April 19, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Let’s Have a Word

The tongue can bring death or life;

those who love to talk will reap consequences.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

The verse for today really intrigued me, so I looked it up in the NAS version of the Bible. It sent me to two other verses:

Matthew 12:37  “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” and also Proverbs 13:3  “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”.

They are all equally a warning to us. The truth is we must speak our words carefully. Not only for ourselves, but also for the ones we love. We have the ability to tear down or build up those whom we love on a daily basis. I know this for a fact, as I grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot of building up.

In my home, as we grew up, there weren’t a lot of positive, encouraging words spoken. In fact, most of what we heard was very destructive to my life. I suffered self-esteem issues as a teenager and even into adult years. I never trusted anyone to really love me for myself until I met Jesus. When I met the Lord, I never knew anyone could love me unconditionally.  He had a lot to teach me!  But, as a result of my home life, I also suffered from depression and thoughts of suicide during the tumultuous teen years.

I also met my husband at a young age, too. Between him and God, I learned what real love was. Ronald seemed to genuinely love me through all of it. He was a rock for me and proved it over and over with words of love and encouragement whenever he could.  He made me feel I was worth something.  I didn’t always receive them; in fact I doubted them a lot!  But he meant every word he said!  He stuck with me through that time and is still here 35 years later!!

I also read a lot of scripture then and tried to focus on that.  I know that we really need to realize when, how, and what we speak because words touch us in ways that can be good or bad.  Things we say in anger can really hurt our husbands and loved ones.  I am a testament to that. Our relationships are shaped and nurtured through our words.

My son, who has gone through alcohol and drug abuse when he was a teen, said that had we not told him every day that we loved him and were praying for him daily during that time, he would not be here. We spoke life and healing words to his soul as often as we could, and I believe I still have my son because of those words.  That is how God speaks to us.

What words does the Father say to us that we can hang onto and speak to our spouses?

*Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that He knows us and has a plan for our lives!

*1Peter 5:7  Tells us to cast our cares on Him for he cares for us affectionately and watches over us.

*Romans 5:8 Tells us that even when we still in sin God loved us and Christ died for us.

* Psalms 62:8 Says trust in Him and we can pour out our hearts to Him because he is our refuge.

* Psalm 147:3 Says He heals the broken hearted and binds up our wounds.

* Psalm 103:8 God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

*Psalm 103:13 Says God shows us compassion just as a father would.

These are words form our loving God and Father! He speaks life and love to us throughout His word. Can we be any different? Unfortunately I am sometimes.  Matthew 12:36 says that “we will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken”.   That should give us pause to think before we speak.

I try, and often fail, to speak words of life and love to my husband everyday. I even text him throughout the day to let him know I’m praying for him. It’s an easy thing to do, so why don’t I do it all the time? Ladies can we purpose today to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands? It benefits him as well as us. It shows him you love him and are concerned for him.  It builds him up and in turn you are built up, as well.  That can only benefit your marriage if you build one another up.  And it gets easier the more you do it!

Like Lynn, I want my words to speak life and healing.  How about you?

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Let’s pray:

Lord we thank You for the gift of words. We thank You that You love us through Your word. Help us to always speak life and healing to our husbands and shut our mouths when we are tempted to tear them down. Give us the right words at the right time to say. Thank You for being our example of what words can do. In Jesus name-Amen

Your Assignment:

I’ve already texted my husband and told him how much I appreciate his working hard and for the provision for our family. I know that is important to him.  What life words can you speak specifically to your husband, whether in a text, phone call, note, or even right to him, that will build him up and make his day? Comment below and show us how we can do the same.

I pray you all will have a life building day!

Donna

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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About Donna Day

Donna Day, Blog Contributor – Women’s Ministry
Donna lives in Southeast Wisconsin with her husband Ronald. Together they have 3 children and 2 grandchildren. She loves to read, sing and listen to some talk-radio. Donna attends Rock Assembly of God, where she is active in coffee ministry, Worship team and heads up their Women’s Ministry, as well.

Comments

  1. coleen hayden says

    thank you, donna…thank you, lynn…thank YOU, Father! oh, how i love reading through that list of Scriptures!!! they are such proof of what you are encouraging us to do and to change in our relationship w/our hubbies—speaking life. for years (years!) i would write a verse or two out on an index card and leave it for robert every day. so today i am reinstituting that habit, and have written 1st peter 5:7 and philippians 4:6,7 out and left them for him. praying for each of you, my sisters, as you endeavor to speak life and love to your guys. <3

    • Coleen thank you for your encouraging words today! What a good idea! I was so encouraged by the verses too and that's why I included them. Praying for you too sister and god bless you today!!!

  2. Thank you so much, Donna for sharing your post. I met my husband when I was 13 & was married when I was 21, so I can relate to a lot of what you said. From now on I am going to make a point of telling him one thing I love about him or appreciate about him. I don't think he hears it enough and I don't think my daughters hear enough how much I appreciate their daddy.

    • That is wonderful Sarah!! You know a long time ago when my kids were still at home too Dr. Dobson said something my husband has always done and is good for us wives too. He said the best thing you could do for your children as a husband and father is to love their mother in front of them!! I believe that is a good thing to adopt and have always done it. We sometimes don't hold the criticism back in front of them so why shouldn't we love them in front of them? I love it!! Thanks Sarah for being so honest here!

  3. Jennifer M. says

    This is so timely, Donna. I'm also doing The Love Dare and today I had to make a list of the positive attributes of my hubby and affirm him of one of them! I told him he is kind and how much I appreciate all he does for me. <3

    • Love the love dare book! We need to remember the things that made us fall in love with our husbands because too many times other things get in the way of that and we lose them. It's good to be reminded!!

  4. Lannette Boe says

    Donna I didn't get a chance to read the blog this morning but I did read it tonight. Thank you for sharing your heart. I really needed to hear/read what you said. Not just being aware of the power of my words towards my husband but all that I interact with. Sometimes I feel like if I'm venting even to my husband, kids or coworker that even during the venting I must be aware of my words and even the tone and feelings behind the words. This blessed me tonight….thank you!

    • You are welcome! We all need to be reminded because words are powerful, good or bad!! Bless you dear!!

  5. The first thing I need to say to him more is "Thank you" for the work he does for me and our kids. After that would have to be "I need you" because I tend to be obstinately independent and it can make him feel unneeded or unwanted.