November 22, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 3 — Make the Choice

January 24, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Choice 3: Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Over the past two weeks we’ve been reading and sharing a lot about the issue of control.  It seems to be a common thread in our lives – control the world around us in our way and hope it all works out as we planned.  But as we’ve seen we don’t have the power to control our lives, despite what we may think.  It is only through surrendering to His control that we truly find life.

As I went back through my book for today’s blog, I was struck again by John Baker’s personal story on page 81.  I  felt as if I was reading my own story.  I was saved at 14, and did all that I thought I was supposed to do – Sunday School, youth groups, retreats, even Christian college.  But something was still missing.  In my youth, I surrendered all I thought I should surrender, but it wasn’t truly ALL of my life.  From college I made wrong choices with relationships, hurt people closest to me, and kept running from the one person who could truly set me free from my fears and worries.  God.  And, just like John Baker, no matter how bad my choices were, God was still waiting for me with outstretched arms.  I can think back to times He was trying to get my attention and pull me back, but I brushed it off and kept going “my way.”

When I ended an engagement at a young age, I heard God questioning my decision.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my husband said we were moving out of state, against my wishes, I heard God telling me to speak up.  But He just didn’t understand.  When I battled infertility, I cried out to God begging to know what I did wrong to deserve this trial.  I didn’t hear Him respond.  When I was starting an affair, God was calling me out.  But He just didn’t understand.  When my marriage fell apart and I was moving the next guy in, God tried to get my attention again.  But He just didn’t understand.  Do you see a pattern here?  Me, a little speck on this earth, telling the God of the Universe that He doesn’t understand!  Wow, talk about pride!

On May 11, 2001 the world came crashing down around me in ways that no one could have ever seen coming.  People I thought were friends left me.  Family no longer supported me because it was too difficult a reminder of what my ex had become.  There was no greater example in my life of how little control I really have over anything than at this time of my life.  But, I also heard God very clearly that night, “Do I have your attention THIS time?”  He wasn’t judging me, or giving me any “I told you so” type lectures.  He greeted me with open arms and the patient love only the Father can give.

God reminded me that He had been with me all the way, through every poor decision, every time I pushed Him aside because He didn’t understand my plans and way of doing life.  He also reminded me of one precious gift He had given to me, a little ray of sunshine I called my daughter.  She was the inspiration I needed to get out of bed and keep moving until I could think clearly during these rough days.  She had no one but me, so I had to keep going.  I realized that while He didn’t bring the chaos and pain to my life, He allowed it to happen for my good.    We are reminded of this in Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (NLT)

Two years later, I heard a song on the radio that brought instant tears to my eyes … another God-message for me.  Martina McBride released a song called “In My Daughter’s Eyes” and sings, “She was sent to rescue me”.  (http://youtu.be/eLS0Y40WwlA)   I truly believe that God sent my daughter to rescue me, and to return me to His fold.  You see, by medical standards she should not be here.  Doctors cannot explain how I was able to get pregnant and managed to carry a child to term with the health issues I experienced.  Seven years of infertility and suddenly, this miracle.  The last time my doctor said this to me was after my hysterectomy in 2010.  We were discussing the pathology report and his surgical findings, and he said, “I just don’t know how your daughter is here.”  I just smiled and said, “That’s because you didn’t create her.”  I knew she was fully and entirely God’s plan for my life.   But through her life, God gave me the wake-up call I needed to throw up my hands in surrender, and return to His open arms.

PRAY –

This week, we focused on committing ALL of our lives to Christ, not just the areas we think He should have, but ALL areas.  As I read Chapter 3, I was reminded of a song from my early church days, “I Surrender All.”  This clip is one of my favorite versions by Jaden Lavik.

http://youtu.be/uaTXNxUXcn4

Now is the time to ask Christ in to your heart if you have not already done so.  Admit you are powerless without Him, acknowledge His death on the cross for your sins, and the power of His resurrection for your eternal salvation.  Are you ready to make this decision for Christ?

If you are part of this study and do know Christ, use this time to rededicate your whole life to Him, asking Him to take full care and control over the areas of your life you’ve previously guarded.  As the song says, “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.”  He won’t bully His way in and take over.  It’s a choice you must make to freely turn over your life.

WRITE –

1 Corinthians 5:17 tells us “this means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

What does this verse mean to you?

Go back to your notes from Chapter 1, how do you feel today compared to when you first made those notes?

What are you having a difficult time surrendering to God?

What are some things you will ask God to do in your “new life”?

 

SHARE –

 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Making a decision to commit your life to Christ is the most important decision you will make in your life.  Yes, more important than your choice of spouse, career, or home.  This decision remains with you for eternity, and what an awesome promise that is for us!

Take time this week to let others know about the reason for the changes in your life.  Share with them about the freedom, joy and hope you are learning to experience.  Encourage them to surrender to His care and control and allow Him to change their lives, too.

 ___________________

Power Verses:

Ephesians 1:13 NIV

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

Acts 16:31 NLT

Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.

2 Timothy 3:16 NLT

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

 Phil 4:13 CEV

Christ gives me the strength to face anything.

 

Lord, what a precious gift You have offered to each of us!  You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.  We admit that our choices haven’t followed Your plans for us, but we seek to follow You more closely.  We surrender our lives to You, placing ourselves fully in Your care and control.  We know that You desire the best for us, and we need to learn to trust this truth on a daily basis.  Thank You for Your awesome gift and the blessings You have given to each of us.  Amen.

___________________

If you would like to send a private email to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 12 – Living with Optimism

December 16, 2012 by

This is our last week with “A Daughter’s Worth” bible study.  I hope you have enjoyed this study, as much as we have!  Sometimes online Bible studies can be kind of pressing, especially when you have such a busy schedule.  But, one thing that I have learned is that putting God first and foremost, in all things, is an absolute necessity in order for everything else in my life to run smoothly.

The Word tells us to seek Him first and all things will be added unto us.  That means first thing every day, we should be making time for God.  We should be seeking God in our daily schedules, tests, extra-curricular activities, church functions, sports, and more.  If God hasn’t called us to it, we cannot expect Him to bless it.

This week, in Week 12 of A Daughter’s Worth, we will discuss “Living with Optimism” and what that means.  This may be the end of this study, but it’s a very important part of this book!  I hope you will take the time to read it, meditate on what you’ve read, and spend time with God.

Here is your schedule for the week:  

On Monday, Diane will discuss giving honor to God.

On Tuesday, Teresa will discuss recognizing the holiness of God.

On Wednesday, Jordan will discuss receiving happiness from God.

On Thursday, Tonya will discuss resting in the hope of God.

On Friday, Edwina  will discuss looking forward to Heaven with God.

And then to close the week off, Coleen will have a special message for us.  So be sure to stay tuned!

Be sure to check back soon because we will be announcing what’s next for GCH:decaf SOON!!!

Now a word from Miss Morgan:

Hey girls this is our last week, which is crazy; but this week we will be talking about how we should give God glory and that we should know the holiness that God has. God also will give us happiness, which we should learn to accept, and to always have the Joy of the Lord with us.

Lastly we will also be talking about resting in the hope of the Lord, and that we should always look forward to Heaven and living with God forever. It’s weird thinking this life will end, but we will live FOREVER in Heaven with God, which is amazing. I love you girls!!

Before Morgan and I close for today, I want to ask you if you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?  If not, we invite you today to ask Him into your heart.  Please pray with us:

Lord Jesus, I come to You today and ask You to be my Lord and Savior.  I have learned who You are through this bible study Lord, and I want to know You personally.  So today, Lord, I confess the sins that I have in my heart, and I ask You to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness.  I ask You now to come into my life, as my personal Lord and Savior.  AMEN!

If you prayed this prayer with Morgan and I, would you send us an email?  We’d like to pray with you.  You can reach us at GCH_decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.  

We love you, so does He!

Have a GREAT week everyone!

Morgan & Christi

 

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 10 / Day 5 – Reach Non-Believers Around You

December 7, 2012 by

Prepare your hearts

As we come to the end of 10 weeks, we have been discussing how to tell your story to others, how to keep your life clean, continue to grow, and how to influence your younger ‘sisters’. That is a lot for some to do. Don’t feel overwhelmed though, you have a great resource to help you through all of this, God and His word, the Holy Bible, and your friends. Now it is time to discuss how to reach the non-believers.

Was there someone in your church or family that you looked up to? Did she talk to you every week, or maybe everyday at school? Is there someone who looks up to you? Ava gave us a check list as an indicator as for living our lives. Here is just a couple: Do you pray for unbelievers to see God, do you invite them to church? The list she gave was not all-inclusive but a good way to gauge where you are in your walk.

When we read about Paul’s situation in Acts 26: 15 And I said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord said, ‘I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. 16 But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you, 17 delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles—to whom I am sending you 18 to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.(ESV)  This is a high road for anyone to follow, let alone Paul.

You see, Paul was a Pharisee, a man who was chosen to STUDY the Jewish laws and customs. A Rabbi never chose anyone to mentor unless that young man had potential. Paul was ready and willing to prove his love for the Jewish people no matter who he hurt in the process. While on the road to Damascus, Paul had a divine meeting with Jesus in a very unique way. Paul was blinded by a bright light. He could not see, but he could hear. Those with him probably did not hear what was being said to Paul, but could hear Paul Jesus speaking. Paul was told, as it is said above, to preach the good news of salvation to the Gentiles, that they may receive forgiveness of sins.

We should never assume someone is saved just because they go to church. Just because we sit in a church every Sunday, this does not mean we are saved. We are saved by asking Jesus into our hearts, professing Him as Lord of our life and following Him. In order for us to witness fully to our friends we need to do 4 things:

1) read God’s word daily and pray. Ask God for those moments when we need to share our story with someone. Maybe write out a short version pf your testimony and then write out one for when you have more time to sit and explain why it is important to have that relationship with God.

2) Pray about specific non-believers that you know and ask the Holy Spirit to be with you when you are sharing.

3) Speak from your heart and share what God lays on your heart to share.

4) Know that the Holy Spirit is there with you, praying you through and giving you the confidence to share.

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We need to prepare our hearts in order to share effectively with others. Ask God to reveal places where forgiveness is required and ask how to receive or give forgiveness. Do you need to rededicate your life to God? Then do it, you will reap such huge benefits. Now Ava asks that you think of 3 people whom you will pray for regularly for the right opportunity to share what God has done for you and how living in His perfect will has made a huge difference in your life.

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Let’s pray:
Father, we come before You asking that Your Holy Spirit reveal in us places where forgiveness needs to be given in order for us to share Your love, grace, and mercy with others. Lord use me as Your mouth piece even when it is scary. Help me to slow down and listen to Your prompting and help me see God opportunities as they appear. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!

**********

For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

 

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A Daughter’s Worth Week: 10 / Day 1 – Have a Story to Tell

December 3, 2012 by

When I was younger I was never certain I was going to Heaven.  I asked Jesus into my heart when I was five, but I could not say without a shadow of doubt that I would go to Heaven one day.  I was not ready for what that simple prayer I prayed at the wee age of five would do for me.  Though, I soon found out what I was not doing for that prayer.  There were days I would pray that prayer over and over, worrying that I said it wrong or didn’t mean it and had to keep saying it to make sure that there was no chance I was missing out on Heaven.  I spent a decent amount of time praying that God would save me, but from what I was not sure, and from where I was praying-no clue, all I was sure of was it was not coming from the sincerity of my heart.

Today, I can confidently say that I belong to God, and that I will be in Heaven one day.  It took me a long time to believe those words in my heart.  What about you?  Do you believe that you will be in Heaven one day?  Do you belong to God’s family?  If there is even a hint of doubt in your answer to those questions will you please reach out to a leader or pastor!  I cannot begin to explain to you the importance of praying with your heart the prayer of Salvation.  Simply believing that God sent HIS ONLY Son to DIE on a CROSS for YOU AND ME and then ROSE from the DEAD three days later; asking for forgiveness of your many sins and accepting JESUS into your HEART to help guide you and follow HIM, will not only guarantee your entrance to the gates of Heaven one day BUT it is also the start of the perfect story you have with the GOD of the UNIVERSE!

Have you ever thought about your story?  God already has a beautiful story written for you and Him to share together.  In this story you will grow closer to Him, learning to depend on Him for all of your needs.  Everyone’s story is different.  Everyone’s story has potential.  We are the ones that have to choose to embrace the pages of our stories.  It is not enough to just sit back and watch the pages turn.  We must act out on what we feel in our hearts.  We were told to read Acts 22:15-16 today.  Let’s take a look at it.

You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard.  And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

Do not get discouraged if you have not seen or heard from God lately or ever!  It is never too late to change your path and go another way…leading to Jesus.  The more time you spend with Him in prayer, reading the Bible, getting involved in church, etc. the more you will see Him and hear His gentle whispers in your life.  This life is short.  Those of us who know Jesus and call on His name, we are all saved by the blood of Jesus.  We will all get to live the life we were intended for in Heaven with Jesus one day!  Until then, we MUST flee sin and run into the Lord’s arms!  We must take advantage of this life as short as it is and use it as an opportunity to share our stories with others.

I know for certain God did not save me from a life of complete misery just to leave my story on a pretty shelf.  He saved me so that I may share my story; being a light to others and helping others find Jesus as they hear each chapter.  Today, I leave you with a piece of my story; I pray that you share pieces of yours in our discussion group!  One thing I know is that when we let God into our hearts, he transforms our stories into something amazingly beautiful!  I cannot wait to hear what God has done and will do in each and every one of your lives!

Little Tid-Bit of my Love Story with God

I am so thankful that I asked the Lord into my heart when I was 5.  Even though I was not certain what that meant, the Lord heard my words and he never ever left my heart especially when I turned from Him.  When I turned from Him it was the worst time in my life.  One night after too much heartbreak, I cried out to Him and asked Him to help me.  I was not expecting anything but to my surprise, God heard my cry, and helped me.  He protected me and saved me from a life of misery.  He is faithful!  I rededicated my life to the Lord. He is the love story I was always searching for.  I always thought I needed a man, but they all left me feeling empty inside.  When I embraced God, I found His love that fills every possible crevice in my heart and overflows into the lives of so many others that need so desperately to find HIS love.

*****

Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, thank You honestly does not seem like enough to show the gratitude I have in my heart for what You alone have done for each and every one of us.  I ask that any girl who is reading this post and does not know You as her personal Savior, will find You and start embracing Your story for herself.  I ask that each one of these girls feels confident in the salvation You have given them, freely.  I pray that these girls truly live out the story You have prepared for them.  Bring opportunities into their precious lives to share their stories with others.  We love You Lord, oh so much and we cannot wait to see You in Heaven one day!!  Amen.

Love to my dear sisters in Christ,

Diane

For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 10 – Spreading the Word

December 2, 2012 by

For the next few weeks, I will be standing in for Megan as she prepares for her big move from one home to the next!  What an exciting time for her!

This weeks chapter is titled: Spreading the Word

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This week we discuss being called and sharing the good news with others. I hope you will really take the time to meditate on what is being shared by each blogger this week, and what Ava has to say in this Chapter!  This could not only be life-changing for You, but for those you speak to, as well!  Praise God!

Here is what we are going to discuss this week:  

Monday — You have a story to tell

Tuesday — Keep your life clean

Wednesday — Continue to grow

Thursday — Influence your younger sisters

Friday — Teach non-believers around you

and then on Saturday,

Coleen will take us through Week 11 in her series Lord, Teach Us to Pray!

I’m so excited to study this chapter with you this week!

 

Be Blessed!

Christi

_________

Let’s Pray:

Lord, as we go into this study this week, I pray that You will prepare each heart to receive from You, to hear from You, and to be excited to share their story about their relationship with You!  Father, thank You for this amazing opportunity to learn more about You with this amazing group of girls!  May You bless them Lord, and all they put their hands to!  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button located at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH: decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Winning Him Without Words: A Front Row Seat

November 21, 2012 by

Take a stroll with me down the streets of Orange, Texas, a small town located on the Louisiana border, where I have resided for the last 25 years.  One of the main attractions in Orange is The Lutcher Theater.  Though a small town, we here in Orange are very privileged that The Lutcher plays host to big name celebrities throughout the year.

Two blocks down the street from The Lutcher is another theater called Orange Community Players.  It is here one will see familiar faces of people in the community, using their God-given talents in the performing arts.

Five miles north of town is The Bush Family Theater.  In this theater, God Himself, is the producer.  On any day of the year, He is producing some of the highest quality dramas, unlike The Lutcher, or I dare say, Broadway has ever produced.

It is in this small home theater where God casts my husband as the main character in each  drama.  The role he is playing is a true story and it is all about God relentlessly pursuing him for his eternal salvation.  An analytical, strong-willed man, who feels he is self-sufficient and has no need of God, he is totally clueless about what is going on between him and God.

I kid you not, every time I watch another episode, my mind races back to the farm I grew up on in Georgia.  Not only did my daddy grow peanuts like all farmers do in Georgia, but he had a large herd of cattle and hogs.  Once a month, Daddy would load up about 50 hogs that he had been fattening to take to the market to sell.  He’d back his big truck up to the fence and line it up with the  “hog shoot.”  For all you city girls, a hog shoot is a narrow wooden passage that the hogs walk up to enter the truck from the field.

Now, the old hogs did not “gracefully” walk up the shoot.  They had to have a little prodding.  Daddy had just the thing to get them going in the direction of the back of his truck – -a hot stick.  This was a battery operated device that gave them an electric shot in their rear that guided them up the narrow passage way into the back of the truck.  Poor hogs – -they had no choice, but to enter the truck.

I am sure you know where I am going with this.  My man has no choice.  God’s guiding hands will get him in the back of His truck.

Yes, it is all being played out before my eyes, and I get to have a front row seat, just as Lynn talks about on page 129 in Winning Him Without Words.

I just feel it in my bones that the final episode is about to be produced.  When it is, you are invited to Orange to the little theater five miles north of town to the celebration. I will kill the fatted calf that I have been fattening up for this occasion.

Outside The Bush Family Theater, the marquee will read: “My Son Which Was Lost Is Now Found.  Admission FREE! Come on in!”

_____________________

Let’s pray:

God, I thank you for pursuing each of our husbands, not only for their eternal salvation, but that they grow in grace and in the knowledge of you.  Help us to live our lives before them as 1 Peter 3 calls us to, and not interfere with what you are doing in their lives.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen

Your assignment:

Have you seen God in some way pursuing your husband?  If so, how?  The big question is:  “Did you stay quiet and not interfere in what He was doing?


_____________________

If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of this page, in the menu bar, and complete the sign-up form.  We will add you once we receive your request.

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Winning Him Without Words – Heart Tablets

November 7, 2012 by

“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on human hearts.”

2 Corinthians: 2-3

What is my message to the unbelieving loved ones in my life? What can I communicate with my actions today? Am I willing to let the Holy Spirit make his mark on me for the benefit of my unsaved loved ones?

I re-wrote these questions from the book and only changed them to make them personal for me. I needed to do that so I could ponder them and claim them for my life, so I could examine myself from them. Do I leave a Godly message for my loved ones? Are my actions motivated by my love of the Savior? Or are my actions done with the motivation that I can save them?? I pray not.

In our scripture today, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse. That because of our ministry to them they can have the Spirit of God written on their hearts if they accept Him. I’m humbled by that. Not only has the Spirit of God reached down and written on my heart, I can reflect Him in my words and actions. If they, our spouse, see this lived out in us, we could be the vessel God uses to bring them to Him! It is also somewhat daunting as well. But then I remember what Dineen says: “We can find tremendous comfort in the sense that it isn’t up to us to know what to say or how to say it.”  We have the Holy Spirit in us that helps us do that. We don’t have to rely on ourselves and be bogged down with what to do or say. That is a relief, and it gives us more reason to pray and stick close to God.

How many times have I tried to push the issue with them? Nagged and cried and begged?? Or even just sat back and was angry because they wouldn’t listen? Oh Boy!! I can think of many times! Not letting the Holy Spirit guide me, just pushing ahead without any direction at all! I need to stop and think, Would I listen to someone who is hassling me like this? Would I see a loving, caring God in that tone? I’m thinking  NOT!  What I need to remember in that moment is that I leave a permanent impression on my loved one whenever I am speaking to them.

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke, we see the father in this story giving his son free will and an early inheritance. Off goes the son and blows all the money then hires himself out a s slave to someone because of a famine in the land. He ends up feeding PIGS!! Even desiring the food he is feeding them! He finally comes to his senses and remembers that even his father’s hired hands have food to spare. So he goes home and repents, offers himself up to his father as a slave and what does the father do?? He throws his arms around his son and quickly organizes a party for him. How awesome is that? Now, obviously, this is my own interpretation of this Parable but as I read it I’m thinking I don’t hear his father begging him to stay or crying or nagging. No he just gives the son what he wants and let’s him go. I have to believe the son was brought up in a believing household. I’m sure he probably prayed his heart out, like any parent would, that he would return to him. And because the father lived out his faith and wrote on his heart, the son realized what the truth was and returned home to the father.

What I’m trying to get at here is that maybe taking a step back in our marriage. Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next. Let yourself be God’s love letter to them. Let the heart of Christ radiate out of you for them to see. We don’t have to worry about what to say. We just need to be willing vessels, ready to give God’s grace in the moment. God can only use us when we  yield to Him. Give them freedom to choose for themselves because of that reflection.

Purpose in your heart to be God’s message to your husband. Communicate love and grace to them ” letting the Holy Spirit make his mark on you for the benefit of your Husband.” When you do this you are honoring God and your husband. Ask yourself those questions at the beginning of our chapter and make them personal by putting your and your spouses names in them. Then implement that answer and let God shine through you!

Let’s pray:

God thank you for writing on our hearts today. We ask that you would radiate your Spirit through  us and let us have the honor of being your vessel and tool in the salvation of our spouses. May they only see you and not us. Give us willing hearts to be able to do this. Show us and give us the exact words and things to do to make this happen. You are faithful and loving. We praise you today for all that you are doing and will do. In Jesus name I pray – Amen

Your assignment:

I am purposing to do what Dineen says in the first paragraph of our chapter today-speak words of love to my husband and reflect Christ while doing so. What can you do that will speak to your husband today and how will you do it??

God’s blessings on your day,

Donna

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If you are interested in joining this “Winning Him Without Words” online bible study, please click HERE to complete the sign-up form.  You will need to purchase the book in order to follow along with us.  You can find details for the book on our sign-up form.

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Winning Him Without Words: Know the Essentials

October 21, 2012 by

 “Then why do you treat him any differently now?

Treat him as if he were a Christian.”  

OUCH!  I wonder how many of us have ever had this epiphany!?!  Men need respect … while women need love.  We women know that we need love.  It makes us feel secure in our relationship.  But have we really truly thought of what respect means to our husband?  As Dineen said, “some even equate respect with love.”

Having respect for our husband means treating him with the utmost kindness. Treat him as you want to be treated.  Do you treat your husband with the utmost kindness; or the way you want to be treated?  Do you let your husband take the lead in the household?  Do you belittle your husband in front of others?  Do you laugh at him in front of others?  Do you add to the stress that he already has? Do you nag him?

God calls us to respect our husbands.  He doesn’t tell us to respect our husband only IF he does this or that; only if he is a good father; only if he is a good provider; only if he shows you love, and so on.  He simply tells us to respect him….period!

Respecting your husband simply put, means that you have chosen to obey God.  When you obey God by respecting your husband, you are showing honor to God!  God never called you to nag your husband.  In fact, in Proverbs 21:9 tells us that it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.  Proverbs 21:19 tells us that it’s better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.

From there, we move into the section of the book that talks about our needs.  We have such a way of putting such high demands on our spouse to meet our needs that it’s impossible for him to meet them all!  Then we get frustrated, disappointed, or angry, that he isn’t able to meet these needs. First off, your spouse was never made to meet your every need!  Only God can do that!  Once you figure this out, it takes the pressure off of you both!  You are no longer disappointed in him for not meeting your needs; and he is no longer working so hard trying to figure out how to please you!!  Win-Win Situation for you both!  Praise God!

The one thing that really stood out to me in this chapter though, is the section that talked about his salvation and praying for your husband.  I know how important his salvation is to you.  But I want to ask you something.  I want you to really think about this, too.

“Would you rather your husband have a ‘forced’ relationship with God because you forced him into this with your nagging? Or would you rather he have the kind of relationship that allows him to love the Lord with his whole heart, soul, mind, and strength?” 

I really want you to think about this question today.  The rest of this chapter goes into a lot more things for us to think about, and I don’t want to take away from our awesome ladies who will be blogging the rest of the week.  So with that, I’m going to end my blog here today.  I hope I have given you some food for thought today.

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Here is Your Reading Assignment this Week:

Oct 22 –

Know the Essentials / Our Deepest Needs – Beverly

 Oct 23 –

It’s Not About Us – Jennifer

 Oct 24 –

To Know & Be Known – Donna

 Oct 25 –

God Is the Wild Hope Maker – Sarah

 Oct 26 –

Glue to Hope, Joy, & Peace / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Don’t Forget! Saturdays with Shandy!

Shandy is taking us through a 6-week journey to prepare our homes for the Holidays!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, thank You so much Lord for loving us the way You do.  Thank You Lord for the spouse you have given each of us.  Lord, allow us to see him through Your eyes.  Allow our hearts to love him the way You do.  Put a guard over our tongue this week Lord, and help us to watch the words that come out of our mouth.  Lord, help us to truly be the kind of wife that You designed us to be for the spouse You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

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 God bless you,

.

.

.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Winning Him Without Words: “It’s Safe to Relinquish Control”

October 9, 2012 by

Control.

Why do we desperately hold onto it? What are we afraid of? I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. Since returning to Christ two years ago, God has repeatedly revealed my controlling tendencies and convicted me of them, especially in the realm of my marriage. It is not pretty. I am not sure how my husband lives with me, but I am thankful that the Lord is showing me a better way and that my husband has a measure of patience. When I took a good look in the mirror, I realized that I needed to focus on saving myself, not my husband.

So, I can relate to this whole chapter in a big way. But this section on control . . . I felt like Lynn was talking directly to me.

Even though God has been working on me, I do not have it all together. There is still that part of me that wonders… can I really, truly, 100%, no holds barred, relinquish this salvation-of-my-husband-thing to God? Some days I think I can. Other days I am not so sure. I will release it to God one day and the next day, I will take it back.

Why is it so hard?

As Lynn Donovan states on page 44:

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis
  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him
  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

And two of my own . . . the ones that lies in the deepest recesses of my heart. The ones that are hard to even type. What if I never get to see my husband come to faith? What if he does not get saved? If I do not become actively involved in my husband’s salvation, then who will?

Well, Lynn smacked me upside the head humbled me with her next statement:

All of this is true, yet you are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.

Ouch!

Lord, I am so very sorry.

Why do I keep trying to BE God in my husband’s life? God is certainly capable of handling things just fine on His own, thankyouverymuch. I mean, He grabbed me without anyone bombarding me with open Bibles or Christian music. So, why am I trying to do it for someone else?

Lynn tells us that two things will happen when we finally let go of our foolish and unproductive efforts to save our men:

  1. We will discover new freedom – the pressure we feel to bring our spouse to Christ will lift. We can just enjoy our spouse for the man that he is.
  2. Our husbands’ will experience freedom – he will no longer need to feel uncomfortable or try to deflect our crazy attempts to bring him to faith. He can RELAX around us. Our faith will become LESS OF A THREAT in his eyes. It will free him to explore faith at his own pace, in his own time, at GOD’s leading.

Ladies, I am right there with you. I am scared. I can talk a good game and feel like I am living it sometimes, but other times I take it all back and try to do it on my own. It is hard to relinquish that control. But, God really does have this. He wants our husbands’ to know Him and to love Him even more than we do. Our God will never stop pursuing the lost and bringing them to Himself (read Luke 15:3-10). In fact, when we step in and try to take on God’s job, we just get in the way and make more work for God! Are you ready to put your husband’s salvation in God’s hands and truly let go and let God handle it?

*****

Let’s Pray:

Father God, in the name of our mighty Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask you to give each woman in this study a courageous strength to release their husband’s salvation into your capable hands. We know that you love our husbands’ even more than we do, Lord, and you want a deep and abiding relationship with each of them. Help us to get out of Your way and to let You do the work in our husbands’ hearts and lives. Please reveal anything in our own lives that we are doing that is causing angst or stress to our husbands’ and marriages and help us to repent of it. In your name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Tell us why it is difficult to fully let go of your husband’s salvation and give it completely over to God.

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Join the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “Don’t save your husband – save yourself”

October 8, 2012 by

This is something I have run through my mind about so many times, thousands of times.  I have gotten up on Sunday mornings and wondered Lord will today be the day that my man will surrender everything to You? I look at him as he is lying in the bed and think well it could be Beverly!   I picture him getting up and saying honey I think I will go to church with you today (oh and by the way he did go with me yesterday)….I picture him going into the church service…I picture him headed to the pastor telling him “I want to surrender”…..oh what a day that will be!!!

But at this time after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, that is still what I am doing, praying, waiting and hoping.

My husband and I met 37 years and married 33 years ago. At first he attended church with me and then slowly stopped going  (which now makes me wonder did he go just for show back then)…until one day he stopped going all together except for special things.

God kept drawing me closer into a relationship with Him and yet my relationship with my husband was not growing the way “I” wanted because I now had something I wanted both of us to have but he was not at that point yet.  Oh, other aspects of our marriage were great but this was something that was a standing wall between us.

Yes I could have written the handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

I was not a total “Jesus freak.” I would come home and make him sit and listen (I just thought he was listening) to things I was learning in God’s Word. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch. Most of the time all of which he avoided.

There were times we would be at odds with each other. I would sometimes find that I would blame some of our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, I thought if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I would begin trying harder to ensure he was hearing God’s messages by playing my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house. Every once and awhile he would go with me to church, but instead of enjoying him sitting next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be “The Day”, and when it wasn’t, I would quiz him in the car on the way home, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”

“It was okay,” he’d say. And his thoughts would turn to “What we gonna eat for lunch?”

The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ I would ask myself.

One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period.

That was 33 years ago ladies—and I’m still praying and still loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided no matter how many years, I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.

God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away.

I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right.

Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort.

I will “Never” give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.

I don’t understand why God does what he does, but I will trust God while I wait.

The truth is, I might not ever see my husband walk a church aisle, and surrender his life but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heavens gate. In the meantime, I will live my life as an godly example and leave it all with God and let Him do His work.

Let’s Pray

God help us to realize we have no control in changing our husbands, change comes from You so help us all to leave our sweet husbands in Your hands. In your name I pray Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us one thing that you have done to try and get your husband to accept Christ as his Savior.

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to all of you this week

Love, Beverly

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