November 22, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – How to Cooperate with God’s Change Process

February 6, 2013 by

Let’s go ahead and admit that we KNOW we need change or we wouldn’t be in this group right now, right? We wouldn’t be going through this painful process of reliving our past mistakes and confessing it all to a friend, right? I remember when I came to the end of myself and realized I definitely had a drug addiction problem, I was addicted to painkillers.

It was Spring Break 2001 and I was home with the children; we were supposed to be enjoying each other. I had planned all these fun activities yet I couldn’t function. I had taken the last four pills that morning and my body was screaming for more. I did not have any and I had to think quick. That is how insane my life was then—before surrendering to Jesus. I spent all my time thinking about it, driving to get it, lying to doctors, lying to family, sitting in waiting rooms; all the while knowing this isn’t what God created me for.

In this chapter we read a lot about our thoughts becoming our life. What you think about most will become your god. If that’s true—and it is—why not place our thoughts on Him? Read and study His word and know what His plan looks like for our lives. I remember being extremely frustrated that I couldn’t will myself back into a healthy way of life. I remember thinking that I had lived my life before without drugs so why is it so hard to get back there? I had to have help.

When I came back from treatment, the only thing that had changed was the drugs. I came home to the same place, the same people. and the same problems. Which proves what the author says, that the drug is only a symptom of a bigger problem. It starts with something; for me it was self-esteem. I never felt good enough. I didn’t believe His truth about me, that I was created in His image, and that I am just as I am supposed to be. His masterpiece. I had everything physically going for me, a huge house, nice car, 4 children, a husband that loved me, physically fit, and when I looked in the mirror, I liked what I saw physically. But spiritually there was something missing.

Change doesn’t happen overnight. We did not get here overnight and we will not heal overnight, but little by little as we change our focus from inside us to Jesus, we will be transformed to who He created us to be.

I needed help to learn to live again and He sent me a close friend who literally gave her time every day for 9 months, except weekends. She came from 8 am-4pm and held my hand as I learned to do the simple things—washing clothes, keeping a tidy house, cleaning out the clutter, cleaning out my car, taking care of my children’s needs and my husband’s, making beds. It may sound crazy to you but I had never focused on running a home like Jesus wanted me to. My friend made me a schedule and I followed it. She changed my life, and the life of my children. Don’t you see? God sent her to me! He answered my prayer and physically guided me through her. He can do anything if you ask.

Our God is a selfish God. He wants all of you, not just most of you. He must be your focus. I remember a time in my life when my prayer list was all petitions for me and my life. I thought I was focusing on Him by prayer, yet my prayer life was all about me. You have to be careful not to become selfish in your prayer life. Praise Him! Thank Him! Worship Him! A simple prayer that has become a daily for me is this: empty me of me so that I can be filled with You.

This chapter gives you steps to changing your focus. Make sure you read them, study them, look up the verses that are in each step and keep them in a safe place. And lastly, make sure you allow Him to be your pilot.  We’ve proven that our willpower is not enough to change our behaviors, but He is. So let’s allow HIM to continue the work He started in us when He created us. Let’s walk so close to Him that we can touch His garments.

Character defects, my friend, cannot be improved, they must be removed and He alone can do it.

I leave you with some words from your God:

The Lord said, for you must go wherever I send you, and say whatever I tell you and don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you, I, the Lord, have spoken.  Jeremiah 1:7, 8

You will always reap what you sow. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest consequences of decay and death- But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.  Galatians 6:7, 8

Please try His way. You can always go back to your way if His doesn’t work for you, you know? It’s your choice.  I choose Him.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, we praise You and love You and worship You today. Lord, you are our Stronghold, our strength, our tower, our Creator and King. You are perfect and Your ways are amazing. You provide our every need, even in the desert. You are our Living Water and with You we will thirst no more. I pray for each one of these precious ladies in this study…You alone know their hearts and You know their needs. Please reveal Yourself to each one today in an amazing way; let them feel Your presence, in Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Your assignment:

Read through the steps listed in this section and write the verses in your journal. Tell us your favorite one or the one that spoke loudest to you. Praying for you always!!!

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further instructions.

If you would like to email Kim regarding this post, please do so at: Kim@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – Why Does It Take So Long to Get Rid of Our Character Defects?

February 5, 2013 by

There are four main reasons why it’s hard to change the defects in our lives:

1. Because we’ve had them for so long.
2. Because we confuse our defects with our identity.
3. Because every defect has a payoff.
4. Because Satan discourages our efforts to change.

All my life I have been a very anxious person. I have always felt I did not belong or fit in. I always felt disconnected and unloved by my father. I have felt like a burden to my husband and all of our family. I have felt like I’m not good enough, or smart enough, to hang out with or be accepted by my husband’s friends or around those he worked with because they were so smart and had much more education than me. I have felt shameful for things I have done out of my addictions. I have felt unworthy as a person and that I don’t deserve to be happy or to be loved. I have felt afraid to love, trust, and have intimacy with my husband because I did not feel this growing up from any male figure. I have even gone so far as feeling embarrassed at Bible study when asked to turn to a certain book because I had no idea if it was in the front, middle, or back; and therefore I felt I was ignorant.

So now you understand why I am the way I am. Of course, I needed to take Xanax and drink, because of my horrible anxiety. Of course, I needed to hide and avoid everyone, because I don’t fit in. Of course, I had to distance my heart and stay as far away from intimacy with my husband, because he might abandon me like my dad had done. Of course, I’m afraid to trust because of all the bad relationships that have disappointed me and hurt me. Surely you understand, too, right?

Now you can see why it’s been so hard for me to let go; because if I did, then who am I? Who will Leslie be without anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, hatred, loneliness, bitterness, and unworthiness? I had no clue what it would feel like to want to live…to feel like a good mom and wife—or, especially, God’s child? Do you see where I am going with this? I honestly had lived my 38 years believing all of these defects are who I am and that I will always be this person who would always be depressed, a worthless person, and bound to be ill and miserable for the rest of my life or until I would finally take it. My life was hopeless and that’s who I was—just a miserable hopeless person. And, although life was excruciating, I couldn’t imagine things differently.

I remember just how frightened I was when I became sober. I was so fearful to face things without using something to get me through it. Emotions were almost unbearable to feel without that Benzo or glass of wine. It was so hard being alone in the house because the voices that I hid from were much louder and frequent in a quiet house. I was so afraid to be in certain rooms of my home because I remembered withdrawals and hallucinations that I experienced there. It was so hard to come home from outpatient program and do my assignment of looking in the mirror and telling that image looking back at me that I love me and I am a good person.

Letting go of these defects was not easy. I actually enjoyed the attention I got because of my illness. I felt wanted and loved when family members called and checked on me. I liked receiving cards and seeing my name on prayer lists. I actually liked being able to not speak to my dad because I wanted to have power over him feeling sad and abandoned because of all the years I felt that hurt. I liked being constantly pitied when I would do destructive things to myself because that not only got me much more attention from my family, but attention from doctors, also. For me, a life I was miserably comfortable in at least had a payoff. How about you? What payoff do you get by not letting go of your defects?

John Baker says in this chapter, “Satan constantly tries to fill our minds with negative thoughts. He is the accuser. He whispers in our ear, ‘This will never work; you can’t do it, you’ll never change.‘” Have you been hearing this alot?

When I started seeking Christ these whispers were constant, loud, almost paralyzing at times. I learned to rebuke Satan, and almost every 5 seconds I was doing so in the name of Jesus. Satan would stop for a few moments and start right back up. Being fragile and not trusting in God very much, I spent my days feeling weak and tired. Satan told me I would never be well, I would not stay sober, I was a loser, I had no real friends, that my husband pitied me and that he had lost hope in me. I had thoughts that my kids might be scared from seeing my actions and addictions. And that I did not have a real relationship with God because He did not love me enough to save me and take me out of that hell I lived. Why did I have to hurt so badly for so long? Does God not love me?

John8_32Please listen very carefully, ladies…SATAN IS A LIAR!!! There is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he shows what he really is like. The devil was a murderer from the beginning. He has never been truthful. He doesn’t know what the truth is. Whenever he tells a lie, he’s doing what comes naturally to him. He’s a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44 God’s Word Translation). Baker states, “But counteracting Satan’s lies is the truth that sets us free.” Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). As we begin to grow in God’s truth and voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our life and allow Him to remove our character defects, we will discover the happiness of doing what God requires. So what are you waiting for?

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LETS PRAY
Father, we come to You today ready to submit to all the changes You want to make in each of our lives and remove our character defects. We ask that You reveal to us defects that we have lived with for so long and have become part of who we are. Help us to let go of these things. Lord, help us when Satan tries to discourage our efforts to change by trying to fill our minds with negative thoughts, and instead focus on the truth, Lord. For we know the devil is a liar and the father of all lies. Lord, we ask for Your help; and we thank You for Your forgiveness and love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Find a quiet place and ask God to reveal to you your biggest character defect. What has been the payoff keeping it and not letting it go?

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing Online Bible Study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private email to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at:
Leslie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation Choice

February 4, 2013 by

Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.
Matthew 5:6

Woo-Hoo Ladies!!  You are absolutely awesome!  We have taken some amazing steps on this journey.  First admitting we had a problem and were absolutely powerless over it.  Then we began to understand that God could and will help us to overcome that hurt, habit or hang-up if we seek Him and turn our lives over to His care and control.  We started writing our spiritual inventory and are sharing our lives with a trusted person.  Wow – that is a lot of hard work and you should each be doing a praise dance with the Lord right now.  I know you may feel tired and think ‘no way, I’m going to take a nap.’  But take some time to realize you have come a long way in this journey and God is pleased. ‘But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.’ Hebrews 13:16

Now that you have realized what you want God to change or control, are you ready to let Him? Chapter 5 is all about change – now we all do not like this word.  It can be scary, fun or an adventure.  Moving forward into the unknown can be frightening, yet exciting.  I was so excited when the verse used for this process was Romans 12:1-2.  (These verses became my life verses over three years ago when I walked away from the gay lifestyle.) Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  I mean I had just walked out of a lifestyle into a world of the unknown.  I had to walk away from almost all of my friends and change all the places I went to.  I had to look at myself and ask – who am I?  What do I even like now?  God began showing me that I was a new creation, my sins were forgiven and He loves me.  He was going to lead and teach me if I would do one thing.  Offer myself wholly to Him – keep my mind focused on Him and allow Him into my heart.  I was to keep away from the things of the past and renew my mind.  That is where He wanted me – if I became willing, He is always able.

Let’s break those verses down into the character defects John Baker talks about in the book.

Biological/Chromosomes: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God….” We inherited some of our strengths, weaknesses, physical and emotional traits from our parents. We did not choose our parents, DNA or some of our tendencies toward addictions.  However, none of these inherited traits give us the right to some of the behaviors we have chosen.  We are to offer our bodies as sacrifices to God.  We are to be willing…Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Psalm 143:10

Sociological/Circumstances: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world….” Where we were raised, the environment, what we saw, how those around us behaved all contributed to our character. Again, we did not have the opportunity to choose how those around us behaved or what our parents taught us.  These behaviors or experiences actually shaped some of our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  Out of our reactions, coping skills or hurt – we stepped into certain habits or addictions.  As I stated before, when I walked out of my lifestyle, I had to walk away from many people, activities and places. We are not to conform back to our hurts, habits or hang-ups.  ‘Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.’ 1 Peter 1:13, 14 

 Theological/Choices:  “But be transformed by the renewing of your mind….” We can change the choices we have made that have driven us into hurts, habits or hang-ups.  When we remove one of our old habits, we must be able to replace it with a good choice.  Spend quiet time in His word, prayer time, volunteer at your church or a ministry in the area, go to a Bible study, (depending upon your hurt, habit or hang-up) find a support group in your area – these are a few things I found that transformed my mind into healthy habits.  Luke 5:36 talks about not putting a piece of new cloth onto an old garment, the old will tear.  Also, the new piece will not match the old.  2 Corinthians 5:17: If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed, behold all things have become new.

We have become new creations by an amazing Creator!  Are you ready and willing to allow God to take away those defects that you are holding onto?  Another way to phrase that question – are you ready and willing to become free of what has been dragging you down?  Make the choice.  He is ready to step in and give you your heart’s desire.

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Let’s Pray:

Most Gracious Father, we are humbly coming before You with open hearts.  We know we have made choices that have not been pleasing to You.  Help us to be completely willing to allow You to change all our shortcomings.  Teach us, Lord, to do Your will, to not conform to what the world may show us, but to allow You to lead us away from some of our old habits and into Your new path.  Your Word says to be strong and courageous; Lord, we want to be strong through these changes.  Heal the hurts of each one of us and help us to be the people You want us to be.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

We have talked about being willing to allow God to take control and change or remove our character defects.  Have you been able to release control? After you have read the blog, go to our private Facebook page and share a positive change you have seen in your life through your releasing control.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation (Reading Assignment)

February 3, 2013 by

Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“God blesses those people who want to obey Him more than to eat or drink.  They will be given what they want!” (Matthew 5:6 CEV)

The hardest part for those of us who like to be in control of our circumstances (and lives) is surrendering ALL to His authority, and being willing to submit to EVERY change He brings to us.  John Baker starts Chapter 5 by describing how it’s against our nature to change our behaviors.  It’s so much easier to keep doing what we’ve been doing.  It’s been said that changing a habit takes around 30 days of consistent behavior to make it stick.  How many of us actually try for that long?  Here we are in February, how many of you are holding firm to the New Year’s resolutions you made?

The scars we bear from our life experiences did not happen overnight, and we cannot expect change to be rapid.  Over the past four weeks, we’ve been preparing our hearts and minds for the changes God wants to do in our lives.  He’s been working in us through this time, but it’s also been a time of preparation.  Romans 12:1, 2 says that we are to “be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT).

Do you take the time to read a passage in different translations?  Sometimes you can get more insight, clarification, and direction by what the various translations offer.  From The Message, we read the same passage in Romans, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

How awesome is that?  God is helping us.  God wants the best for us.  He will change us inside and out.  Another promise of The Father we can hold on to when we don’t think we can keep on this journey.

Chapter 5 will discuss where our character defects come from, why it takes so long to get rid of them, and how we cooperate with God during this transformation process.  A key point for me in this process is to remember my identity in Christ, who He says I am.  Baker says, “Notice their identity is in their belief in Christ…they do not allow character defects to become their identity” (pp 133, 134).

Almost 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  It’s a chronic pain syndrome that many don’t fully understand.  Even with almost 11 years together, my husband still doesn’t “get it” on many days, though he has learned to be more patient and tolerant of my episodes.  Pain, muscle tenderness, weakness and tingling are common place for me.  On a daily basis something hurts, usually my back, hips and shoulders.  But I also get tingling and swelling in my feet and hands; and fatigue…oh boy, do I get tired!  Some days I feel like I over-exerted myself the day before.  Other days, I feel like I’m battling the worst flu virus ever.  And, the only thing I can do is manage symptoms; there is no cure.  I have medications to take.  I give in to the afternoon nap.  I opt to sit as an observer than push my body in an activity I know I’ll regret later.  I get massages (much too infrequently) from a therapist who knows how to treat my body.  And, I try to enjoy walking as an easy, low-stress exercise for my body.  Keeping it moving helps keep it from tightening up even more.

Now, I know there are people with fibromyalgia who are truly affected more severely than I am, so this is not meant to disregard the severity of their situations.  Many are unable to work, enjoy activities, or function on a normal level.  I’ve never been affected so badly that I cannot “do life.”  I may not want to do something, but it’s a mental attitude not a physical limitation.  But what if I gave in to my pain and let it determine who I am?  If I focused on what I have, rather than who I am, how much different would my life be?  I might refuse to leave my bed.  I might quit my job because it’s just too much effort.  I might refuse to care for my family; instead asking them to tend to my needs.

But I am a person with fibromyalgia.  It does not have me.  Just like I am a child of Christ with sin, sin does not have me.  I have freedom in Christ.  And, it’s His freedom that also provides comfort during my fibro-flares (periods when it is worse).  It is His strength that pushes me through.  It is His wisdom that guides my doctors for management.  And, oddly, it’s a blessing in my life at times because the flares cause me to rest, and be thankful that my infliction truly isn’t that bad in the scheme of things.

So what defines you?  Do you believe you cannot change because it’s “just the way you are?”  Do you see yourself as the addict or victim?  Or do you see yourself as God sees you.

James 4:10 

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and he will lift you up in honor. (NLT)

Reading Assignment for Week 4: Chapter 4 of Life’s Healing Choices

Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 5: The Transformation Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Why Does It Take So Long?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss How Do We Cooperate With God?
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:

Lord, so many times we view our scars and afflictions as bad things in our lives.  Help us to see these as tools used by Your Hand to change and transform us into the daughters You want us to be.  You desire only the best for us.  You gave Your very best to us in Your Son, Jesus.  Show us the defects within that keep us from freedom and peace.  Allow us to humbly bow to You wisdom and correction in this process.  Amen.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:

Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 4 Review

February 1, 2013 by
  • Realize I am not God
  • Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover
  • Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control
  • OPENLY EXAMINE AND CONFESS MY FAULTS TO MYSELF, TO GOD, AND TO SOMEONE I TRUST
  • V
  • E
  • R
  • Y

 

Matthew5_8

Wow, ladies, after this week I am so glad for that verse – “Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”   The thought that as my heart continues to be refined and purified, I will see God.  As I look around I see Him daily, in the clouds, the flowers, my sons, my work, songs, and in each post and response from all of you amazing women.  God is so good, isn’t He?

The first part of the week we talked about what guilt can do to us:  destroy our confidence, damage our relationships, and keep us stuck in the past.  But through all the guilt, shame, and regrets we may have from our past sins, as we cry out (like David) for God to create that clean and pure heart within us, He is always faithful to forgive and cast our sins as far as the east is from the west.  We begin to chip away at the junk that the past has built up within that heart.

I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)

And they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. (Isaiah 61:4)

Tuesday, Leslie made this challenge: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?  Are you ready to Make time to begin your inventory? Are you ready to Open your heart and mind to allow the feelings that have blocked your healing and recovery then Rely on God’s grace to complete that healing He has for you?  Are you ready to Analyze your past, step out of your denial of the past and step into the truth of the present? Finally, are you ready to List the events of your past?  Please, please, please make sure you list both the good and the bad choices of your past.  We caution you to not just list the bad; there are good choices you have made that you need to list and praise God for those choices, too.

If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward. He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. (1 John 1:9) 

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” (Isaiah 1:18) 

Wednesday, Kim shared how “more, much more than this” she did it her way, as many of us have and may still be trying.  However, there is a time to realize we cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father.  We need to have an accountability partner, someone you can trust and who understands what you are saying is valuable, as a treasure to be handled with care.  Someone who will not sit with their jaw dropped as you speak or gasp when you bear your heart.  And finally someone who knows the Lord, who will be your friend, as well as accountability and prayer partner.

I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears. (Psalm 54:4)

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us. (Philippians 3:13, 14)

Amy closed us out with praying for God’s help through this.  We need to armor up and tap into His power in order to “examine our ways and test them.”  When you begin to write your inventory remember five areas: the person whom you resent or fear; the specific actions that was related to that person; what cause – action effected your life both in past and present; the damage done to your basic needs (social, security or sexual); then honestly determine what part you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part.  We want to make a strong point in those areas of abuse – when you come to the area of what part did you have responsibility for –write NONE or NOT GUILTY – begin feeling freedom from the shame and guilt you have been carrying around with you. Finally, share those areas you wrote with someone you trust, that accountability partner or trusted friend.  This road is not to be traveled alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony….  (Revelation 12:11)

He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask. (Ephesians 3:20)

Ladies, as you are writing your inventory, this is an amazing journey to healing and freedom.  Our Heavenly Father wants to give you anything you can ask for and more.  This is not to be taken lightly as you have carried around these hurts, habits, or hang-ups for some time now.  It may not go away overnight; however know that He has already overcome the world (John 16:33).

I want to circle back around to “create in me a clean heart.”  Read on in Psalm 51, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  T

hen I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you

” (verses 12, 13).  Your journey of confessing your faults, taking time with the Lord, writing your inventory, and sharing with your accountability partner will restore your joy. And it could be such an encouragement for someone God may place in your path that needs to hear your story (His story) at just the right place and just the right time! You will forget the past and look forward to the finish line He has prepared for you.  As Leslie challenged us on Tuesday: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?

 

 

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Let’s Pray:

Oh, Father, we come and sit at Your feet with humbled hearts.  You know we have made both good and bad choices.  Your word says be strong and courageous that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  Father, that is what we are asking, that You give us the strength and courage to follow through this step in chipping away at our past hurts or habits and sharing with a trusted person – one You have placed in our path. Thank You for each woman You have placed in this study; bless them Father.  Take away any guilt or shame they have or are feeling and replace that with the joy and peace that only You can give. We thank You for taking us on this journey and showing us Your incomparable grace.  We love You Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Pray first then begin writing and sharing your inventory.  Take quiet time with the Lord this weekend.  As you begin writing, go to our Facebook group and share with us a scripture God has shown you this week through this step.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog,

please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 4 – Make The Choice

January 31, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Search usSearch me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life (Psalm 139:23, 24).

This week’s activities will bring memories to the surface that may have been ignored (or forgotten) for years.  But Jesus promised that the truth will set us free (John 8:32 NLT). So without further delay, let’s get started!

PRAY –

Dear Lord, it is so difficult to look within and admit our hurts.  We guard our hearts and deny the pain because it just hurts too much.  Look within us and guide us through this week’s activity.  Help us be honest with ourselves about the pains we’re hiding, the effects others have had on our lives, and even what we’ve done to others.  Our heart’s desire is to be healthy, to shed the negative emotions that hold us back.  We know that the only way to truly be free is to face our fears and find strength in You.  Give us the strength to discuss with our trusted friends.  Thank you for loving us through it all, no matter what.  Amen.

WRITE –

John Baker outlines on page 116 steps to working through our past hurts through a personal inventory.  You will need several sheets of paper to complete the inventory.  Because of the detailed instructions Baker provides, I will be using his descriptions for this step.

Using a piece of paper, create 5 columns and label at the top: The Person, The Cause, The Effect, The Damage, and My Part.

The Person – List the person or object you resent or fear.  Go back as far as you can.  Remember that resentment is mostly unexpressed anger, hurt or fear.

The Cause – It has been said that ‘hurt people hurt people.’  List specific actions someone did to hurt you.

The Effect – Write down how that specific hurtful action affected your life in the past and in the present.

The Damage – Write down which of your basic needs were injured.  Social: Have you suffered from broken relationships, slander, or gossip?  Security: Has your physical safety been threatened? Have you faced financial loss?  Sexual: Have you been a victim in abusive relationships?  Has intimacy or trust been damaged or broken?

My Part – You need to honestly determine and write down the part of the resentment (or another sin or injury) that you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part in a broken or damaged marriage or relationship, a distant child or parent, or maybe a job loss.  List the people you have hurt and how you specifically hurt them.

In 1973, I was a free-spirited 4 year old who didn’t have a care in the world.  I don’t remember much about this time, except for one thing—returning home with my mom, from a visit to my grandparents, to find our home empty.  I remember my mom going from room to room, and the confusion I felt as she looked through everything.  My dad had left.  Packed his things, and just left.  No word, no comment, no goodbye.

On my birthday in 1979, I was getting ready for a sleep over with a couple girlfriends when the phone rang.  My step-dad yelled up for me, “Amy, your dad’s on the phone.”  What?  What did he mean, “My dad’s on the phone?”  I hadn’t heard from my dad in 6 years.  I went to the kitchen to see my mom crying—the only time I’d seen her cry up to this point was because of my dad.  I picked up the phone, and heard the voice.  Yes, it was my dad.  I was shell-shocked, quiet, and I’m sure I must have been confused and angry, too.

I never realized the impact these events would have on my life until I was in my mid-30s.  I had superficial friendships, a desire to know-everything-and-be-perfect, and was facing my first significant depression.  I learned how guarded I was with my heart, because I was convinced that if my dad could leave me, certainly others (less vested in my life) would leave me too.  But if I proved to be invaluable with my knowledge, my skills, my talents…people would HAVE to keep me around!  I was miserable.  I was doing everything to please other people, to make them like me, and I ended up not liking myself.  Through this process, I had relationships that didn’t work (I ended them before they could so I would have control).  I doubted God’s true feelings for me (sure, He says He loves me but so did my dad). 

There’s so much more I could say on how this affected my life, but that’s not the real story.  Having the ability to put aside the hurt and realize that it wasn’t about me.  My dad didn’t leave because of me, and nothing I could have done at the age of 4 would have changed his heart or his mind.  He has his own hurts to deal with and I can’t do it for him.  What I can do is forgive him and move forward.  But I also need to release my misplaced guilt and shame … and truly embrace the truth, “It wasn’t about me.”

God blessed my life with an amazing man in 1976, my stepdad who was, for all intents & purposes, my “dad” for 27 years.  I walked beside him when I got married.  He cradled my daughter as a newborn.  I held his hand in his last days, and heard him whisper “thank you” (the last words he spoke to me).  The day that he passed into God’s glory, my father called me to give his condolences, and added, “I couldn’t have picked a better man to raise you.”  To this day, there is so much power in that phrase that I cannot even begin to express.

Just as those words from my father bring a peace to my heart, I can trust God, The Father, when He says He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:46).  I can trust that I am God’s child (John 1:12), I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10), I am free forever from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), and so many more of the promises found in His Word.

SHARE –

Take time with your trusted friend to go through what you wrote in your inventory.  The lists you created are no one’s business but yours, God’s and the person with whom you choose to share it with. 

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Power Verses:
1 Peter 5:10 NCV
Psalm 139:23, 24
John 8:32
Hebrews 13:46
John 1:12
Colossians 2:10
Romans 8:1, 2
Ephesians 2:10

Lord, thank You for being a loving and personal God who allows us to come to Him with our hurts.  You have adopted us as Your own children.  We know that nothing we experience is unknown to You.  Everything has passed through Your hands before we see it.  Help us work through our hurts in an open and honest way, to uncover those emotions & events we’ve been trying to hide for so long.  Jesus said that we will know the truth, and the truth will set us free.  We cling to this hope and ask for Your truth to shine upon us.  Thank you, Lord, for loving us as only a good Father can.  Amen.

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Week 4 – Moving Past the Guilt – Part 2

January 30, 2013 by

I’ve been to rehab three times.  And the third time was the charm. I would love to tell you that I came home and everything was just perfect and all my relationships were restored and I was forgiven and trusted immediately. NOT!!!!!  I never would admit to anyone all that I had done. I had three different sponsors during early recovery and did steps 4 and 5 at least three times but never the way God intended. I only told what made me sound somewhat sane, which was entirely a lie. I never admitted to God, I figured He knew already and why did I need to tell Him again?

Bottom line: I  wasn’t ready to surrender. I wanted to do things my way, like the lonely soundtrack for misery of the song, “I did it my way.”  My way wasn’t working and had never ever worked and it was time to try something different. I wanted the miracle of freedom, so I finally did what it took and it started with confessing my past and truly leaving all those bags at the doorway of freedom and never looking back. Oh, I pick up a bag every now and then and carry it around. It’s heavy and uncomfortable and I’m supposed to ask Him for help. I wasn’t meant to carry this alone. He created us to need each other, and to need Him in the midst.

We need an accountability partner—we have to tell someone our secrets, for secrets keep us sick and keep us right where we are. We cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father.  We need to have this person pray with us for the forgiveness and freedom that is ours through Jesus. He died so that we may have life free from sin and guilt and shame. Do it now. Don’t wait or procrastinate. I read somewhere that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of being strong too long.  Ask for forgiveness and accept it—it is freeing!  If you don’t then you are saying His death was for nothing, and that it wasn’t enough for you. It is for you.

We don’t get to choose our story’s beginning and we don’t get to make our husbands love us perfectly. We don’t get to choose our children’s problems (or lack of) and we don’t get to demand life. We get to accept it. Like a gift. No one ever entered into God’s fullness by giving Him only half of yourself. You may wrestle, but in Him you’ve won. You may suffer, but in Him you’ve got security. You may regret, but in Him you will rise. You may no longer be free to live the easy way, but in Him you will be free.  “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).  “Outweighs them all”—all the mistakes we have made He uses all for His glory. When you’re tempted to hide under the covers this week because some horrible memories of things you did in the past are bringing back shame and guilt, remember they are just feelings—nothing more. You have been delivered.

Psalms 54:4  “I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears.” Delivered !!!

Ephesians 3:20  “He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask.” He is able…to do ANYTHING.

Anything we need-–-we just need to ask…then receive…then move forward. When you are tempted to go back, fall forward. Keep moving forward toward Him. Finish this race strong. Remember, God forgives instantly and freely; now just do it!!!

Do these steps in this chapter, read them carefully, and do them exactly as they are written. God will hold you through this. I’m so proud of you all!  Hang in there and know I’m praying for you.

At last I leave you with God’s word, “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us” (Philippian 3:13, 14).

Acts20_24

Your life is worth so much. Please hear me—God’s grace is freely yours, just follow through with choice 4; freedom and joy and so much more are yours!!!

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise You for Who You are. You are our strength and our fortress. Our stronghold and comforter in sorrow. You are our everything. We cannot thank You enough for Your forgiveness and grace freely given to us. You love us not for what we do but for who You made us to be. You know each of our hearts and You know what we desire and You promise to give them to us. We trust You. We ask for Your help in laying it all down at Your feet and help us not to take it back. Forgive us and keep us safe during this sometimes painful journey.  We love You.  In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

Please read sections 4 and 5 carefully, and pray about when and who and where to do your talking. This a hard one.  Just let us know that you have chosen someone, and the rest can be your choice as to whether you share or not.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible Study, click HERE. Once we have received your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Kim in regards to this blog, please email her at Kim@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Moving Past Guilt – Part 1 (Steps 1, 2, 3)

January 29, 2013 by

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:40 NIV

Two years ago when I went into recovery, I entered into AA as part of an out-patient hospitalization. I came to the part of needing to write an inventory of my resentments. At that time, I had pages and pages that piled up so high I thought this whole step would be impossible. I rushed through them leaving out important details. I could not face them all, especially the REALLY PAINFUL ONES. The really painful ones showed like movie reruns in my mind. I also experienced physical symptoms such as a racing heart, difficulty breathing, chills, smells, and vivid details. These physical symptoms caused me to run from them even faster because every time I thought of the place or person I felt like it was happening to me all over again. Finally when I could hit “pause” on the movies (my life), I would take those people and places and kick them into that corner of my closet and cover them with all kinds of pretty stuff so I would not have to look at them anymore. If I don’t see them, then they can’t hurt me right? LOL!

Today I have only a few on that list because I have not totally surrendered them over to the Lord. The resentments I did give over to Him were healed and I became set free in a very powerful way that only God can do. Why I did not do this with all of them, I still ask myself that question. God took many of my resentments and showed me just how powerful He is by healing them so quickly. In my heart, I believe He was showing me proof of who He is and what He does. Some healed slower and hurt in the process. I am not going to lie, it was not fun. It was hard. I remember sitting on the couch scared and not trusting that God could take those things from me, but He did.

But unfortunately today, I still have a few I just have not fully dealt with and want to store them away in that dark corner in my closet. I don’t even want to see an edge of one sticking out. This realization shows me it’s time to do something about it. I started writing down each of these resentments that I’m allowing control over me today. My new list is much shorter today than my first one from two years ago. There are a few people, places, and events that I have been resenting, causing me anger, hurt, and fear that just won’t leave me alone. They have caused a lot of damage over the years to my thinking, attitude, relationships and self-worth. I would say the HARDEST part of this section has been writing down and owning up to my part. This is not easy at all! Yes, I have been severely hurt, but in each item on my list, I see that I have sinned also, and I am responsible for things I have done. “The Lord gave us a mind and a conscience. We cannot hide from ourselves” (Proverbs 20:27). I cannot keep blaming others, rationalizing, and deceiving myself any longer.

Prov20_27

I would like to briefly share a resentment of a place and event I have written down on my list. About six years ago, my doctors suggested having shock therapy for my major depression/bipolar illness. This was a last resort because nothing else worked, such as medications, hospitalizations, and psychotherapy. Wanting to die, I was desperate and decided to get started. My shock treatments consisted of twenty-five treatments. My husband had to take off work and also drive me two hours each time to the hospital. There were times our girls had to come along for the ride and had to wait on me for hours until my treatment was finished. Some weeks they had to stay with friends and family. Our girls also had to witness me confused as a side effect from shock treatment and having memory loss. Are you hearing my guilt I have been feeling for years right now?

As a result of my guilt, I have been parenting out of guilt. I have for years felt like a horrible mother who subjected our children to trauma over the years witnessing a sick mom who went to the hospital frequently and being sad a lot. I have felt guilty for so long I have actually believed my illness is my fault. I carry that guilt around with me every single day. It effects the way I parent, it affects me when I see the road sign of that hospital, it affects me when I read the word ECT (electro-compulsive therapy/shock treatment), it affects me when I see electrodes hooked up to people at the hospital, and all the details of the actual event. This whole situation and guilty feelings from it have consumed me for years.

Today I am ready to ask for forgiveness and be set free! “If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward-He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil” (1 John 1:9).  I have been sinning by not forgiving myself. I have been consumed with fear continuing to let these past events hurt me deeply over and over again. The really exciting news is by confessing this, sharing this, God will forgive me! “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).  I don’t have to bribe Him, or beg Him to forgive me; I just have to believe He will.

Are you ready to Move Past Guilt? Are you ready to take this step and transform your life? Take this step and get ready for God to do really great things in your life. Let’s get to work and start taking a personal inventory.

M – Make time to begin your inventory

O – Open your heart and your mind

R – Rely on God’s grace

A – Analyze your past, honestly

L – List both the Good and Bad choices and events in your life

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Let’s Pray:

Father God, we desperately need You. Lord, how incredible it is to believe that our sins are covered and our guilt has been forgiven! Lord, through this study, continue to reveal to us what makes You sad and lead us along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23, 24 TBL) Lord, please give strength to everyone ready to make a change in their lives. Please give us courage to confess faults and come clean. Father, we are all so ready to let You set us free from our hurts, hang-ups, and habits.

Your Assignment:

Make some time to be alone with no interruptions. Open up your heart and mind to let God reveal what you need to see. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. Point out anything You find that makes You sad and lead me along the path of everlasting life” Psalms 139:23, 24.

 

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing Online Bible Study, click HERE to sign up. Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private email to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at:
Leslie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices – The Joy of a Pure Heart

January 28, 2013 by

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Happy are the pure in heart. For they shall see God.  Matthew 5:8

 What a promise we are given – we shall see God!!  Not might or possibly, but we SHALL see God!!!  So how do we become pure in heart?  First what is   the definition of pure? Webster’s dictionary says it is ‘unmixed with any other matter.’  John Baker says ‘a pure heart is one that is free and clean of impurities.’ So how do we get to a pure heart?  How do we get our heart, unmixed with anything but God?  After all we all do have regrets, guilt, anger and any combination of many hurts, habits or hang-ups.  How do we recover from these and become pure in heart? How do we let go of our excuses, blame, guilt and shame?  We go to His word and read His promises:

“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool.
Isaiah 1:18

Although we have regrets, guilt, anger, shame, He promises that if we are willing and obedient (v. 19) we will be as white as snow.  His love for us is so strong.  His grace so amazing! We will be pure in heart.

 I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Psalm 32:5

When we acknowledge we have this guilt, anger and blame, He immediately forgives.  Not later, not tomorrow, but immediately – as far as the east is from the west. He forgives.  Then His word says   – ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.’ Psalm 32:8

 

But before we can really clean our hearts, we have to look at what or why we need to clean up.  Don your cleaning rags ladies – it’s time to Clean House!!

 Chapter 4 discusses the three areas in which guilt can cause harm to our lives.

  1. Guilt destroys our confidence. Guilt causes us to worry about what others think, look over our shoulder to see who is really watching and wondering when our big secret will come out.  When I was living in the gay lifestyle, I was constantly looking around, wondering who would drive by and ‘out me.’  I lived in a small community where everyone knew everyone.  You know the kind where your neighbor could tell you what you bought at the store.  So, as you can imagine, unless I was behind closed doors, I was always on the lookout. My guilt was wearing me out!! When I walked out of  that lifestyle and ran to His arms, He welcomed me. It reminds me of the story in Luke 15: 10-32 of the prodigal son who went away from his father to find a ‘better life.’ After he had squandered all that he had, he went back to his father, realizing he had made mistakes.  He took his guilt and told his father to make him as one of the servants for he was not worthy.  What did his father do when he saw him?  He ran to him and prepared a party for his son who was lost: but now was found.  If we lay down the guilt and fear of our lives, and turn back to Him, He will meet us, clothe us in His best robe of righteousness and fill us with His grace – unmixed with any other matter.
  2. Guilt damages our relationships. Feeling guilty over our choices in life can cause us to over or under react to those around us. The guilt can cause us to overcompensate for others, runaway from building relationships and hide from those around us. Again, my guilt was so strong on how I dragged my children through the choice of lifestyle I made.  I overcompensated with material possessions; showered them with presents, food,   activities, all the while withholding the love they needed and deserved as   children. My guilt was destroying every relationship I had in my life.  How could this be made pure?  ‘And   they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations   and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations.’ Isaiah   61:4  If we will confess and move away from our guilt and fear, He will restore and rebuild our relationships – unmixed with any other matter.
  3. Guilt keeps us stuck in the past. Wow, this is a hard one isn’t it?  How do we get past the memories, reflections or regrets of our past?  As John Baker said, ‘it’s like driving a car and always looking in the rearview   mirror.’  I loved this visual! Can you imagine the chaos on the roadways if everyone was always focused behind them?  God may use our past to allow us to encourage others or to give testimony to His glory, grace and   healing.  But we are not to dwell in the past. Joyce Meyer often says, “Let God turn your mess into a message.”  God will take the ‘old you’ and make you new. “If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed   away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 If we leave   our guilt and fears in the past, He will make us new – unmixed with any other matter.

In Psalm 51:10, David cried out to God:

 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 Here he had committed adultery and had Bathsheba’s husband killed in battle. David murdered, lied, and betrayed his nation and almost each time we read about David he is doing something wrong.  He cried out to the Lord to create in him a clean heart.  Fast forward to Acts 13:22 when God had placed David as king and said ‘I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’ So, how do we become pure in heart like David? We repent, learn from our mistakes, become humble, teachable and turn our hearts completely toward God.  We become unmixed with any other matter.

We pray that our hands reach out as His would, our eyes see as His, our feet walk where He would walk and our hearts break as His would.  The things in our past are not as powerful as our Almighty God.  This step may seem pretty scary but which is scarier: continuing to live drag our past with us or feeling the freedom He has to offer?

The rest of this week Leslie, Kim and Amy will discuss how we can move forward and drop those bags of the past. I am going to leave you with an awesome song written from Psalm 51.  Enjoy and make it your prayer today.

 Let’s Pray:

http://youtu.be/bacXQPujfKI

In Jesus Name, Amen!

 

You’re Assignment:

Determine a quiet place, whether it is in your home, park or corner table at your favorite coffee shop.  Prepare your heart for the next step of beginning your inventory.  Go to our Facebook group and tell us where this place will be.  It may encourage or give ideas to others in our group.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.
Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

 

 

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 4 – The Housecleaning Choice

January 27, 2013 by

I do not like you Chapter 4.
I do not wish to read you anymore.

No taking notes, or digging deep
My hurts and pains I wish to keep.

Keep hidden, that is and never known.
Just the thought of them makes me groan!

I do not like this anymore,
Maybe if I stop reading, my head won’t be so sore.

Ah but I know this is not to be.
Moving forward is what He asks of me.

 

Ok, so I am not a poet. Please forgive me! LOL

Sitting down to write the introduction for chapter 4, I was hit by many thoughts and reasons why I wasn’t going to write about it. Quite honestly, the mere thought of what’s ahead for us brings up anxiety and a strong desire to flee as if my hair were on fire. I’ve argued with myself all morning … do I really have to write about this? What if I let it slide for one day? Who will really miss THIS lesson?

The Housekeeping Choice: Coming Clean. Just the title is enough to make me squirm! How about you?

This week we will look at Choice 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Ugh … really? Haven’t I already done enough to address my hurts, habits & hang-ups? You really expect me to go THERE? I’m supposed to think about the father who walked out on my mom & me when I was 4, only to return via phone call 6 years later. Hmm, not much fun there. I’m supposed to think about the ex-husband who caused more hurt & pain to me & his family and how it affected me. Uh, yeah, that’s another good one. Oh wait, I’m supposed to look at myself and how I had an affair during my first marriage. It just gets better and better, doesn’t it?

But wait! Matthew 5:8 NLT tells us “God blesses those whose hearts are pure.” What comes to mind when you hear “pure heart”? I like the way The Message puts it GCH_Matt5_8

On page 102, Baker writes “If we are ever to recover from the hurts, hang-ups, and habits in our lives and know the joy of a pure heart, we’ll have to learn how to let go of our guilt and shame, and how to gain a clear conscience.” Are you ready to put your heart & mind right so that you can see God in the outside world?

So no matter how much I don’t want to do chapter 4 (did you expect a study leader to ever say something like that?), I see this chapter as being a critical part of our recovery. Before I can fully understand my behavior patterns and triggers of today, I need to understand some about my yesterdays. I need to forgive myself for the choices I’ve made, just as I need to forgive those who brought me pain.

Psalm 32:12 The Message:

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.

Count yourself lucky— God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.

 

And, the same passage from The New Living:
“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!”

Don’t you just love the hope we’re giving in this passage? A clean slate, nothing held against us, complete honesty. Oh, how I want this for my life … and yours!

We’ll see this week what guilt does to us, and how to move past it. There’s so much packed in to this chapter, I’m thinking maybe we should have given two weeks to it! Baker tells us (page 105), “Choice 4 is the one that brings our painful past out in the open so we can deal with it, be cleansed of it, and then move on to health and happiness.” It is this hope that gives me the strength to face chapter 4. Hope in the health & happiness that I’ll find on the other side.

So as you all prepare for the coming week, please know that any apprehensions and fears you may have are shared. We’re getting in to the meat of the process, and it’s not all going to be pretty. But in the midst of the muck, just remember the glory & hope that awaits us all.

1 Peter 5:10 NCV: “And after you suffer for a short time, God, who gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in Christ, a glory that will continue forever. “

Let’s go, my friends, side by side we’ll travel through chapter 4. Spring cleaning will start early this year, but what joys await when we’re finished!

Reading Assignment for Week 4:

Chapter 4: “The Housecleaning Choice”
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 4: The Housecleaning Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Moving Past (Part 1 – steps 1, 2 & 3)
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Moving Past (Part 1 – steps 4 & 5)
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice & Moral Inventory
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:
Lord, I admit that the information from chapter 4 brings apprehension and an element of self-protection & pride. I feel myself becoming anxious and defensive at the mere thought of going through this process. But I know You love me and want only the best for my life. I trust in Your word that You will make me strong, support me, and keep me from falling. This is a promise given to all who know You and call You, Lord. Bless the hearts of the ladies in this study. Keep them focused on the tasks ahead. Do not allow them to be discouraged but to always hold firm to You. Amen.

Power Verses for Chapter 3:
Matthew 5:8
Psalm 32:1-2
Lamentations 3:40
1 Peter 5:10

 

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Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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