December 23, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Key #9: Keep Your Armor On – You’re at War! (Reading Assignment)

November 25, 2012 by

I hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving holiday! This week we are preparing for battle! Let’s get that armor on!

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Reading Assignment

Nov 26 – Eph 6:10-12 – Keep Your Armor On / The Battle We Can’t See
– Beverly

Nov 27 – Belt / Breastplate / Shoes / Shield
–  Jennifer

Nov 28 – Helmet / Sword / Martyr
–  Donna

Nov 29 – Basic Training
– Sarah

Nov 30 – Discovery / Prayer
– Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, you are in ultimate control of it all. Help us to see you in our daily struggles. Show us how to put on your full armor so we are prepared to fight against the evil of the world. I pray that you touch the hearts of each woman in this study. Open her mind, heart, eyes, and ears to what you have for her this week. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #8 – Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons of Marriage (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by


I am really looking forward to this week’s chapter. There is a lot to dig into and what better time to talk about forgiveness in our marriages than during Thanksgiving week? The time we sit down with our loved ones to give thanks for all that we have. Take some time to soak in this chapter as your go about your Thanksgiving preparations. Ask God to meet you where  you are and for His help to overcome any unforgiveness you are experiencing.
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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 19
2 Cor 1:3 Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons in Marriage
– Beverly

Nov 20
Travel the Road of Forgiveness
– Sarah

Nov 21
A Front Row Seat / Discovery / Prayer
–  Martha

Nov 22
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

Nov 23
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

 

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Let’s Pray: Lord, forgiveness is hard. But we know that we are commanded to forgive because you first forgave us. Help us to lay aside our own feelings and to truly forgive our spouse for any wrongdoing they may have committed against us. Please heal the bitterness and resentment that have taken root in our hearts which have prevented us from forgiving. Reveal your will to us, Father. Meet us where we are as we go into this week. Give us peace and strength and help us to place our full trust in You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 16, 2012 by

Hello!  This week, since Martha is out of town, I will be offering our Weekly Review of Chapter 7 of Winning Him Without Words!  I hope you don’t mind!  I know Martha has been doing an amazing job with your Weekly Review, and I can only hope I come close!! 🙂

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Monday:  Beverly shared on the blog.

  • She began by asking the question, “Is it really necessary to win an argument?”  Then she asked “why?”
  • We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.
  • Our husband needs to see that God has changed us.
  • We need to surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage.
  • Let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!
  • It’s OKAY to agree to disagree!!

Tuesday:  Jennifer shared on the blog.

  • We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives.
  • when hurt, pain, bitterness, and anger take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you.
  • Jesus is not going to force you to live in negative emotions.  However, He does not want you to live there!
  • Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband.
  • This change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
  • God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU!

Wednesday:  Donna shared on our blog.

  • Death and life are in the power in the tongue, and we will eat its fruit.  Proverbs 18:21
  • We must speak our words carefully.
  • We have the ability to tear down or build up.
  • We will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken
  • The Father feeds us words of LIFE!
  • We should purpose every day to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands.

Thursday: Sarah shared on our blog.

  • A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.
  • Men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.
  • When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men.
  • When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.
  • Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you are not droning on and on without ever making a clear point.
  • Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor”.
  • How do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up?
  • God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out.
  • You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

And that leaves us with Friday… today! I want to finish this week by sharing with you the prayer that Lynn wrote at the end of this chapter.  I believe it says a lot more than I ever could!  I hope you have enjoyed this book, so far.  We have just a few more weeks left and we will then take a break for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.  We will be sharing a preview of our next study with you soon.  So be sure to continue to check in with us daily!

Let’s Pray:

Father, today I surrender my husband wholly to You.  I am relinquishing my desire to save my husband, and I ask You to take Your rightful place in seeking and saving him for eternity.

Lord, show me the areas of conflict I need to stand upon as well as issues I can surrender and trust You to handle.  You tell us in Your Word that if we need wisdom, we should ask You for it and You will be generous in giving it to us. (James 1:5)

Lord, place in my mind Your wisdom that I may be the peacemaker and the one to help resolve conflict with my spouse.  Jesus, our words have the power of life and death, of cutting and healing.  Form this day forward, place a new awareness in my heart to be mindful of the words I speak to others.  Place Your words in my conscious and unconscious mind so that only words that are good and pleasing come from my lips.

Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight”.  (Psalm 19:14)

In Your powerful name, Jesus.  AMEN!

 

Be blessed & Be a Blessing to Others,

Christi

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: A Transformed Life

November 13, 2012 by

Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then  you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NLT)

We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives. This is especially true with our husbands. A simple forgotten errand or a refusal to help with household chores could start World War III in our homes. Maybe you have experienced this – the hurt, the pain, the resentment, the bitterness, the anger. It eats away at you. And when these emotions take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you. He cannot transform you.

Jesus is a gentleman. He is not going to force His way into any part your life. If you want to live with the negative emotions, you can. But, He does not want you to live there. He wants you to live an abundant life in your marriage. He wants you to have a beautiful, loving marriage, just as He intended back in the Garden. He wants that for you so very much.

But, my dear sweet friends, He cannot help you if you do not let Him.

Transform, Transformed (v) – to change the outward appearance of; to change in character or condition.

Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband. That is not an easy thing to swallow. There are not too many of us that enjoy change. It is difficult and scary. And this type of change is made more challenging because it will cause us to look at how we are acting and reacting to the situations and events in our lives and in our marriages. It will shape us and refine us and strip us of what we are desperately holding onto (remember those negative emotions?). This change will cause us to look at our daily battles in a new light.

And this change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.

I know some of you may be reading this and thinking that you cannot get past the hurt, anger, or resentment that have been building up for years. I just want to tell you, and this goes for whether your husband is a believer or unbeliever, God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU. It starts with you laying down all of the hurt at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to take over. Ask Him to show you what you can do. He will convict your heart through the Holy Spirit. He will teach you and mold you and shape you into the woman He designed you to be.

The question is: Are you ready to let Him do it?

Let the transformed life (and marriage) begin!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, today, right now I (insert your name) give my marriage over to you. I believe that You can transform me and my marriage into something amazing Lord and I trust you with all of it. Please give me a sense of peace and security as I begin this journey with you, Lord. Burn away anything that is not of You and fill me up completely with your Holy Spirit. Convict me of anything that is not pleasing in your sight. Show me how love my husband the way You love him, Lord, with an unconditional love. Provide me with strength and courage in Jesus name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Taking the step to begin living a transformed life is not easy. It means doing everything differently. Did you pray that prayer and invite Jesus in to transform your marriage? How do you feel? Do you feel a change can happen? Comment below and tell me your thoughts. Then come over to the Secret Facebook group and let’s dig a little deeper into how we can transform our lives in a practical way.

Many Blessings on your day,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

Last week we learned that we do not have to be perfect – we need to be authentic. Phew, what a relief! This week we are tackling the daily battles that arise in our relationships – how should we respond? What battles do we need to stand our ground on and which ones can we let go? Or do you feel like the character in the cartoon image and want/need to fight every battle, even to the detriment of your marriage? Ouch! We have a lot to learn this week and I cannot wait to get started!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Monday Nov 12 
Luke 21:14-15 – Pick & Choose Your Battles / Stand Up Shut Up – Beverly

Tuesday Nov 13 
A Transformed Life – Jennifer

Wednesday Nov 14 
Let’s Have a Word – Donna

Thursday Nov 15 
Speak Words of Grace / Receive Grace –  Sarah

Friday Nov 16 
Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, we know that this week’s topic may be a tough one for us to hear. We do not like to lose and we want to stand firm in our beliefs, Lord. But, God, we also want to have a healthy, loving marriage relationship with our spouse. Show us how to pick the battles worth fighting and letting go of the ones that we can agree to disagree on. Lord, it is by your strength that we do this. Just be with us as we look inward to our own actions and behaviors this week. Help us to change the things that we may need to change. Give us wisdom and strength to become the women and wives you have called us to be. In Jesus name, we pray Amen!

Blessings,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: A Confession

November 6, 2012 by

Peter wrote this letter sometime between A.D. 60 and 64. Women in the first century had no legal rights. The husband and father was the ultimate authority over everyone in the household, including his wife. If the husband did not believe in Christ, Peter assured Christian women that they did not have to preach to their husbands. In fact, direct confrontation may even backfire. However, women could still show Christ to their husbands – by their behavior and character – not by their words.

In this section of our book, Dineen relates a story about an encounter she has with a receptionist at the doctor’s office. She was ashamed at her reaction to the situation. She silently prayed, asking God for the opportunity to apologize to this harried worker. The woman comes up to her right then and Dineen is able to apologize.

The best part of this whole story is that Dineen felt led by the Holy Spirit to share this entire encounter with her unbelieving husband. Every detail – even the not-so-Christian parts. And he was proud of her.

He saw the not-so-perfect part of her and he was proud.

How often do you let your husband see the not-so-Christian parts of you? Do you hide your true self from him for fear of what he might think or say? Do you fear that you might “look bad” or “unChristian” if you are authentic, if you really let your hair down and let your unbelieving spouse see everything? Do you think you might give Jesus a “bad name”?

What do you think would happen? Make a list. I’ll wait.

Are any of these things on your list?

  • My husband might laugh at me
  • My husband might mock me
  • My husband might say I’m not really a Christian
  • My husband thinks I should be perfect if I’m a Christian
  • My husband’s words might hurt my feelings

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV)

The Holy Spirit that the Lord poured into you when you were saved is a spirit of POWER, LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND. There is one thing it is not – a spirit of fear. Even though your spouse’s words or actions may hurt you in the moment, remember that you have a power living within you that is greater than those hurtful words or actions. A power that parted the Red Sea and raised our Savior from the dead. That power is alive in you!

Girlfriends, when we are authentic, our unbelieving husbands can relate to us. They do not feel like they have to compete with this guy named Jesus. They see that we can own up to our mistakes, repent, and ask forgiveness of anyone we may have wronged. But, even more so, they will see that we are NOT perfect – and they do not have to be either. They will see that Jesus loves us anyway, even when we do mess up. And we WILL mess up! It is only through Christ that we are made perfect.

Today is the day, my dear friends. It is time to lay down the idol of perfection. We cannot be an authentic warrior for Christ if we pretend to have it all together. It is through our authenticity that Christ uses us to reach other people with the Good News of his saving grace. Are you ready to let go of the need to be a perfect Christian in front of your unsaved husband and let Jesus use your authentic self for His glory?

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Let’s Pray: Father God, in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, we come to you asking for your forgiveness. Lord, please forgive us if we have tried too hard to be a perfect Christian in front of the unbelievers in our lives. Align our hearts with yours and show us how to live authentically in front of our unsaved spouses and how to glorify your name through our gentle and quiet spirits. In your holy name we pray, Amen!

Your Assignment: Post the list that you made from the blog assignment – What do you think would happen if your unsaved spouse saw the “not-so-perfect, “unChristian” parts of you? Pray over these things and ask God to show you the truth from His Word.

Have a Blessed Week!

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “The Call to Obedience” – “God’s Plan for Your Marriage”

October 30, 2012 by

 

What God requires of all covenant relationships, including marriages, is that He be at the center. Whether your husband believes this or not doesn’t matter.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 85

I cringed a bit when I opened my book and saw that I was writing on obedience this week. I’m sure the Lord got a good laugh at my expense! Obedience is not something that comes naturally to me. In fact, it is downright hard sometimes to live in full obedience to God. The earthly world is constantly pulling me this way and that, making me question my every decision. It is in these times that it becomes even more crucial to draw near to God and to live and breathe the pages of His Word.

But, how do we, as believers, live in obedience to the Lord in a spiritually unequal marriage?

Let me answer that question with another question.

How would your relationship with the Lord be different if you were in a spiritually equal marriage?

I want you to stop reading and really think about that question. Would your relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

Mine would. I mean, I could actively live out my faith with my husband. I could talk openly about it. We could pray together. We could read Bible passages together. We could go to church together. It would be amazing!!

Right?!

Right?!?!

Well, let us look back at the question I asked. Would YOUR relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

What defines your relationship with Jesus? Is it defined by whether or not your spouse comes to faith? Is it defined by you being able to pray with your spouse or being able to read Bible passages together? Is it defined by going to church with your spouse…or not? Why does my (or your) relationship with our mighty Savior depend on the actions (or inactions) of another sinful, imperfect human?

Dear friends . . . God can only work in your life and in your marriage if you let Him. If you do not let Him in to those dark, secret, hurtful places, things will not change. He wants more than anything in the entire world for you and your husband to have a loving, thriving marriage. And, I’m here to tell you that you can have that. If you let God in. If you let God have control. If you are obedient to what God wants you to do. I am not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it. And you can do it with an unbelieving spouse by your side. Jesus tells us in His Word that there is one great commandment, which is:

“Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” (Matthew 22:36-40, KJV)

It does not say that we should love God only if our expectations of Him are met first.

It does not say that we should be obedient to God only if he meets our needs first.

God wants our love. He wants to be at the center of our lives.

He wants to be at the center of our marriages, whether our husband believes in Him or not. Since WE believe, WE bring Jesus into our marriage. And that, my dear friends, is powerful. Soak that it. Rest in that truth. Whether you see God in your marriage right now or not, I promise you HE IS THERE and HE IS WORKING.

I had to rely on God to rebuild my marriage according to His design, not my expectations.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 87

So, if you are struggling in your marriage today, give God the reins. Ask God to show you how to be obedient to Him, when the world is telling you otherwise. Let God transform your marriage. He is able. The question is – Do you believe it?

*****

Let’s Pray: Father God, we sit at your feet in awe of who you are and just the depth of love that you have for each one of us. Father, please draw near to each person reading this blog today and help them grow in their relationship with you, regardless of where their spouse is spiritually. We know that you want our spouses saved even more than we do, Father. Just help us grow in our walk with you each and every day and not focus on what we do not have. We know you are able to accomplish mighty things, Lord, and we trust you to see that work through to completion. Open our ears, hearts, and minds to hear from you today and show us how to live obediently in Your Presence. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen!!!!!

Your Assignment: Write out your own prayer below asking God to help you be obedient to Him amidst any turmoil that may be surrounding you in your marriage. Let’s pray over one another today and for all of the marriages in need. Then head over to the secret Facebook group and let’s talk some more about obedience to the Lord.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

*****

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Winning Him Without Words: It’s Not About Us

October 23, 2012 by

Keep praying, keep believing, and then pray some more.

—  Dineen Miller

The Lord revealed something to me this past week that showed me how vital our prayers really are.

Are you ready for a quick Bible study lesson? Turn to Daniel chapter 10.

Although I think it is beneficial to read the whole chapter for context, I specifically want to focus on verses 12 and 13.

Then he {the angel} said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer. But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia. (Daniel 10:12-13, NLT, emphasis mine)

Daniel prayed here on Earth and Scripture tells us that his request was heard in heaven. God sent an angel to deliver a message in answer to his prayer. But between Heaven and Earth, a spiritual battle took place. An evil angel blocked God’s angel until Michael, one of the higher ranking archangels, came to help. It took 21 days for God’s angel to get to Daniel to deliver the message.

God places a very high value on answering our prayers. For most of us with an unbelieving spouse, it may seem as if it is pointless to pray because we do not see any result in our spouse. And, hey, we prayed once a while back for his salvation, so God should already be working on it, right? Yes, but these prayers may spark supernatural battles that we are not even aware of! Therefore, we should be in constant, persistent prayer for our husbands. If Daniel had stopped praying, he could have missed out on the blessing he received.

This passage brought me to tears when I first read it. To realize that there is a supernatural battle waging for my husband’s soul is not to be taken lightly. These verses reiterate how important it is to pray for our unbelieving spouse diligently, without ceasing. We cannot be saddened or disheartened if we do not see a change in our husbands’. God is doing His work in our spouse. Our job is to continue to pray.

As Dineen says, prayer is truly a journey. As we walk our own journeys of faith, prayer connects us with our Father and opens our hearts to what He has for us. It strengthens us and prepares us for the next step in our life journey. So, draw close to your Father as you pray for your unbelieving husband. Trust Him to answer those prayers in His perfect timing. Trust that He is fighting those spiritual battles for us and He is already VICTORIOUS!

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, thank you for your Word and for teaching us through your Holy Spirit. Help us to become prayer warriors for our unbelieving spouses and to draw strength from you as we continue to walk this unequally yoked journey. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Comment below answering the following question – Do you find it difficult to pray for your unbelieving spouse? Why or why not? My challenge to you today is to write out a prayer for your spouse and tuck it into your Bible (you don’t have to post it here)!

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: All Things Are Not Equal

October 16, 2012 by

“You might be wondering why it seems to always be up to you to change, to give, to love. What about him? Doesn’t he have to do anything?” — p. 61


I have to admit something to all of you.

This is the single hardest section for me in the book thus far.

Do you want me to “get real” with all of you? Here are the ugly, selfish thoughts that ran through my head while reading this section: Why do I always have to give and give without ever getting anything in return? Will I always live in this continual bout of frustration? Why won’t my husband ever see that I am hurting? Why won’t he anticipate my needs? Why do I have to cater to HIS needs while mine remain unmet? Why won’t he help me in my times of need?

Why me, why me, why me?

Ugh, I sound pathetic just writing that out. And part of me wants to go back and rewrite it so I sound better.

But they are real feelings and until I can admit them to myself (and you admit them to yourself, whatever your ugly, selfish feelings may be), we cannot conquer them with truth from God’s Word:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

My thoughts certainly are not patient nor kind. In fact, my thoughts are rather rude and self-seeking. My Life Application Study Bible has this note for these verses:

Our society confuses love and lust. Unlike lust, God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return. Thus, the more we become like Christ, the more  love we will show to others.

The selfish feelings we experience are normal. It is only with God’s help that we can love without expectation. God knows our every need. God knows every ache of our heart. God knows every desire of our soul. I am here to tell you, as hard as this is to grasp, God is the only one who can meet your every need. If you continue to rely on your husband to meet your every need, you will always be disappointed, because your husband is not God.

Last week we learned that we have to release the control of our husband’s salvation to God. This week, God revealed an even more important truth to me. I need to take my husband off the throne. I must ensure  that I am not making my husband the God of my life. He is not there to meet my every need, to serve my every whim. He is my helpmeet, my partner, my friend. He is only a man. As much as I would like him to be, he is not on this earth to serve me. Once God gets him, his function in life will be to serve the Lord first and foremost.

It is not about me.

This week, let us focus on learning from Jesus about true, biblical love. Let us set our desires aside and look to God for the true meaning of love. The kind of love He has for us – that no matter what we do or where we go, He still pursues us and loves us and wants to draw us to Himself. The kind of love that is patient and kind; not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered, or keeps record of wrongs. A love that rejoices with the truth, protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

*****

Let’s Pray:

Lord, we come to you this day asking you to teach us about biblical love. Show us how to set aside our expectations and selfishness and to focus on loving others like you love us. Reveal to us in your personal way, through people placed in our path or through your Word, what we need to learn and what steps we need to take. Father, I also ask that you help us to take our husbands off the throne if we have made them an idol in our lives. Help us to place you firmly in that spot and to be able to show grace and compassion upon our husbands today. In Jesus name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is one intentional thing you can do for your husband today without expecting anything in return? (Remember, if you post it, really try to commit to not expecting your husband to give you anything in return – even a thank you! Do it out of love for God and for your husband.)

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Join the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study!

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

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Winning Him Without Words: “It’s Safe to Relinquish Control”

October 9, 2012 by

Control.

Why do we desperately hold onto it? What are we afraid of? I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. Since returning to Christ two years ago, God has repeatedly revealed my controlling tendencies and convicted me of them, especially in the realm of my marriage. It is not pretty. I am not sure how my husband lives with me, but I am thankful that the Lord is showing me a better way and that my husband has a measure of patience. When I took a good look in the mirror, I realized that I needed to focus on saving myself, not my husband.

So, I can relate to this whole chapter in a big way. But this section on control . . . I felt like Lynn was talking directly to me.

Even though God has been working on me, I do not have it all together. There is still that part of me that wonders… can I really, truly, 100%, no holds barred, relinquish this salvation-of-my-husband-thing to God? Some days I think I can. Other days I am not so sure. I will release it to God one day and the next day, I will take it back.

Why is it so hard?

As Lynn Donovan states on page 44:

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis
  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him
  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

And two of my own . . . the ones that lies in the deepest recesses of my heart. The ones that are hard to even type. What if I never get to see my husband come to faith? What if he does not get saved? If I do not become actively involved in my husband’s salvation, then who will?

Well, Lynn smacked me upside the head humbled me with her next statement:

All of this is true, yet you are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.

Ouch!

Lord, I am so very sorry.

Why do I keep trying to BE God in my husband’s life? God is certainly capable of handling things just fine on His own, thankyouverymuch. I mean, He grabbed me without anyone bombarding me with open Bibles or Christian music. So, why am I trying to do it for someone else?

Lynn tells us that two things will happen when we finally let go of our foolish and unproductive efforts to save our men:

  1. We will discover new freedom – the pressure we feel to bring our spouse to Christ will lift. We can just enjoy our spouse for the man that he is.
  2. Our husbands’ will experience freedom – he will no longer need to feel uncomfortable or try to deflect our crazy attempts to bring him to faith. He can RELAX around us. Our faith will become LESS OF A THREAT in his eyes. It will free him to explore faith at his own pace, in his own time, at GOD’s leading.

Ladies, I am right there with you. I am scared. I can talk a good game and feel like I am living it sometimes, but other times I take it all back and try to do it on my own. It is hard to relinquish that control. But, God really does have this. He wants our husbands’ to know Him and to love Him even more than we do. Our God will never stop pursuing the lost and bringing them to Himself (read Luke 15:3-10). In fact, when we step in and try to take on God’s job, we just get in the way and make more work for God! Are you ready to put your husband’s salvation in God’s hands and truly let go and let God handle it?

*****

Let’s Pray:

Father God, in the name of our mighty Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask you to give each woman in this study a courageous strength to release their husband’s salvation into your capable hands. We know that you love our husbands’ even more than we do, Lord, and you want a deep and abiding relationship with each of them. Help us to get out of Your way and to let You do the work in our husbands’ hearts and lives. Please reveal anything in our own lives that we are doing that is causing angst or stress to our husbands’ and marriages and help us to repent of it. In your name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Tell us why it is difficult to fully let go of your husband’s salvation and give it completely over to God.

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

*****

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