April 22, 2025

Winning Him Without Words: Know the Essentials

October 21, 2012 by

 “Then why do you treat him any differently now?

Treat him as if he were a Christian.”  

OUCH!  I wonder how many of us have ever had this epiphany!?!  Men need respect … while women need love.  We women know that we need love.  It makes us feel secure in our relationship.  But have we really truly thought of what respect means to our husband?  As Dineen said, “some even equate respect with love.”

Having respect for our husband means treating him with the utmost kindness. Treat him as you want to be treated.  Do you treat your husband with the utmost kindness; or the way you want to be treated?  Do you let your husband take the lead in the household?  Do you belittle your husband in front of others?  Do you laugh at him in front of others?  Do you add to the stress that he already has? Do you nag him?

God calls us to respect our husbands.  He doesn’t tell us to respect our husband only IF he does this or that; only if he is a good father; only if he is a good provider; only if he shows you love, and so on.  He simply tells us to respect him….period!

Respecting your husband simply put, means that you have chosen to obey God.  When you obey God by respecting your husband, you are showing honor to God!  God never called you to nag your husband.  In fact, in Proverbs 21:9 tells us that it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.  Proverbs 21:19 tells us that it’s better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.

From there, we move into the section of the book that talks about our needs.  We have such a way of putting such high demands on our spouse to meet our needs that it’s impossible for him to meet them all!  Then we get frustrated, disappointed, or angry, that he isn’t able to meet these needs. First off, your spouse was never made to meet your every need!  Only God can do that!  Once you figure this out, it takes the pressure off of you both!  You are no longer disappointed in him for not meeting your needs; and he is no longer working so hard trying to figure out how to please you!!  Win-Win Situation for you both!  Praise God!

The one thing that really stood out to me in this chapter though, is the section that talked about his salvation and praying for your husband.  I know how important his salvation is to you.  But I want to ask you something.  I want you to really think about this, too.

“Would you rather your husband have a ‘forced’ relationship with God because you forced him into this with your nagging? Or would you rather he have the kind of relationship that allows him to love the Lord with his whole heart, soul, mind, and strength?” 

I really want you to think about this question today.  The rest of this chapter goes into a lot more things for us to think about, and I don’t want to take away from our awesome ladies who will be blogging the rest of the week.  So with that, I’m going to end my blog here today.  I hope I have given you some food for thought today.

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Here is Your Reading Assignment this Week:

Oct 22 –

Know the Essentials / Our Deepest Needs – Beverly

 Oct 23 –

It’s Not About Us – Jennifer

 Oct 24 –

To Know & Be Known – Donna

 Oct 25 –

God Is the Wild Hope Maker – Sarah

 Oct 26 –

Glue to Hope, Joy, & Peace / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Don’t Forget! Saturdays with Shandy!

Shandy is taking us through a 6-week journey to prepare our homes for the Holidays!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, thank You so much Lord for loving us the way You do.  Thank You Lord for the spouse you have given each of us.  Lord, allow us to see him through Your eyes.  Allow our hearts to love him the way You do.  Put a guard over our tongue this week Lord, and help us to watch the words that come out of our mouth.  Lord, help us to truly be the kind of wife that You designed us to be for the spouse You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

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 God bless you,

.

.

.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lord Teach Us To Pray: Part 4

October 20, 2012 by

Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray! Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — ”Teach {me} to pray”?

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray. I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who pray—who delight, yearn, love to pray to their Father. This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….” Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

Pray, therefore, like this:

Our Father
Who is in heaven,
hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,
and have given up resentment against) our debtors.
And lead (bring) us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.
Matthew 6:9-13

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of importance—“Who is in heaven.” This attribute tells of the utmost importance of Who God is…He is in heaven. And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.
Last week, as we followed Jesus’ instruction, we came to the third aspect referring to Almighty God— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.” We looked at one definition of holy: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where we saw the Almighty God, ascribed by the Psalmist as ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’ There is no doubt Who each of these examples is speaking about—our Father. What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

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Now here we are, this fourth week, looking at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important— ‘Your Kingdom come.’ We, of course, need to ask the question, “What is the Kingdom?” I believe it is represented in two distinct ways in the Scriptures. There are more than 125 references in the New Testament alone to “Kingdom.”

The first connotation that “Kingdom” has would be in reference to the eternal Kingdom, commonly understood as Heaven, where God and Jesus dwell. Jesus had already taught the disciples the proper and respectful attitude toward God Almighty when He brought attention to ‘our Father, Who is in heaven…’ Throughout the Bible much is spoken of (especially in the books of Isaiah and Revelations) about Heaven, or as we are discussing here, God’s Kingdom. This is one of the things I believe our Lord communicates in the Lord’s Prayer—to constantly have that attitude of heart as we pray to be yearning for that time when the Kingdom comes! And, oh, don’t we long to live for eternity in that heavenly Kingdom ?!!!

Which bring us to another understanding of “Kingdom.” There are a number of records in the Gospels that show us Jesus’ great desire to give us understanding about the Kingdom. (You can use a Bible search engine and do a short study to help you get a better grasp on this; I use <biblegateway.com>). We are going to focus today on just one time that Jesus was teaching about His Kingdom.

In Matthew chapter 13, Jesus spent the day, sitting on the shore and finally, because the crowds listening had grown so large, sitting off-shore a bit in a boat, teaching and sharing about the Kingdom. During this time, He spoke a parable to them about the Kingdom comparing it to a sower and his seed (verses 2-9). He spoke another parable to them about the Kingdom relating it to a grain of mustard seed and how it grows (verses 31, 32). He then told them another parable about the Kingdom comparing it to the leaven used in baking bread (verse 33). Finally, He withdrew along with His disciples and talked with them continuing to help them to understand the parables. However, while still with the crowds, Jesus began to answer privately their questions.

verses 10-13:
“Then the disciples came to Him and said, Why do You speak to them in parables?
And He replied to them, To you it has been given to know the secrets and mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given.
For whoever has [spiritual knowledge], to him will more be given and he will be furnished richly so that he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
This is the reason that I speak to them in parables: because having the power of seeing, they do not see; and having the power of hearing, they do not hear, nor do they grasp and understand.”

And He explained a parable, verses 18-23:

“Listen then to the [meaning of the] parable of the sower:
While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside.
As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy;
Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and begins to distrust and desert Him Whom he ought to trust and obey] and he falls away.
As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit.
As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty.”

Don’t you just love the heart and compassion and attention that our Lord gave to his disciples (and us!) as He explained. The subject over and over is the Kingdom. But He uses tangible examples to help them and us to understand the importance of having ‘the Kingdom’ established in our hearts. Our desire is for Jesus’ words to be at the center of our heart, the focus of our pure living, the impetus for our choosing His ways over the ways, the cares, the pleasures of the world. Further on He uses other examples through parables to explain about the Kingdom.

verses 44-51
The kingdom of heaven is like something precious buried in a field, which a man found and hid again; then in his joy he goes and sells all he has and buys that field.
Again the kingdom of heaven is like a man who is a dealer in search of fine and precious pearls,
Who, on finding a single pearl of great price, went and sold all he had and bought it.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet which was cast into the sea and gathered in fish of every sort.
When it was full, men dragged it up on the beach, and sat down and sorted out the good fish into baskets, but the worthless ones they threw away.
So it will be at the close and consummation of the age. The angels will go forth and separate the wicked from the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God)
And cast them [the wicked] into the furnace of fire; there will be weeping and wailing and grinding of teeth.
Have you understood all these things [parables] taken together? They said to Him, Yes, Lord.

verse 53: “When Jesus had finished these parables (these comparisons), He left there.”

The kingdom of heaven is of great and precious value; Jesus wanted them to know and realize this. Our Lord’s strong desire is for us to have Him, the King, ruling in our hearts and that a lifestyle of that will allow us entrance in the future to eternity, in the Kingdom, with Him and Almighty God.

Jesus, Who God has made to be King of our lives, wants us to thoroughly understand the TRUTH about the Kingdom…He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him… Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So. < 3

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This week we have talked and talked about fully embracing how beautiful we ARE: because I am who God made me to be; believing the TRUTH not the lies; holding in our minds that truth and not allowing the world’s viewpoint to color our thinking; that who we are in Christ makes us SO beautiful; that our eternal VALUE–it makes us beautiful! As I have reconsidered the value of who God made me (and you!) to be, and I think on these truths, and I recognize that I am beautiful in light of this, it has reminded me that I have value and I am beautiful inside&out because Jesus IS my Lord, my King, and that I have His Kingdom NOW reigning in my heart. And YOU, my sister, too!

So let’s embrace this truth…ask yourself: How much worth, ______ (insert your name here), do I have if Jesus, as King, wants to reign in my heart? My heart…His home! Truly, how beautiful and valuable am I to my Lord and my God…I can only imagine! <3

“…Your Kingdom Come..”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_OB7d-B1Vw

Grace, mercy, and peace to you
from God the Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ

with love,
coleen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Saturdays with Shandy: 6 Weeks to Make Your Home Shine for the Holidays! Week 3

October 20, 2012 by

 

Happy Saturday! Are your living and dining rooms sparkling clean? Doesn’t it feel like a weight is being lifted each week? I know it does for me! Each week, we are one step closer to having a sparkling clean home for the holidays! And how did you do with tuning into your five senses while cleaning? Let me tell you… my house smells amazing!

This week and next, we are focusing on the kitchen! These are, perhaps, the two most important weeks of this 6 week journey, as the kitchen is where we do all of our preparing! Cooking, baking, freezing items for later, wrapping presents… the list goes on!

It’s possible you noticed the picture at the top of the page and maybe it made you smile a little. I want you to read (or sing!) these words with me…

A robin feathering his nest has very little time to rest while gathering his bits of twine and twig.  Though quite intent in his pursuit, he has a merry tune to toot.  He knows a song will move the job along…

We all know that song, right? At least most of us here in the States. So what does Mary Poppins have to do with cleaning? Listen carefully to the words she says at the beginning of the song…

In every job that must be done

There is an element of fun.

You find the fun, and… snap!

The job’s a game!

Do any of us really think that scrubbing our floors, cleaning the stove, and polishing woodwork is fun? I’m going to be 100% honest with you. As much as I love being a housewife, that part of my job is usually not a fun time for me. I love the results, and I love blessing my family this way. I do not, however, love the hard work. I want to love the work, but I’m just not there yet. Can you relate? But remember in Colossians 3:23 we’re told to do everything enthusiastically, so let’s do this with a smile on our faces, a song in our hearts, and some songs on our iPods or CD players! Music can be the element of FUN! A song will move the job along! “They themselves lift up their voices and sing to the tambourine and the lyre and rejoice to the sound of the pipe.” Job 21:12 (AMP)

After we pray, and after reading your assignments for the week, please comment here letting us know how last week went for you and share your thoughts about this week… what do YOU do to make a job fun??? Then head on over to our Facebook group to share your pictures and to find out what our fun activity it is! And be sure to join us next week as we continue to make our homes shine for the holidays, and for some free Christmas planning printables!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Let’s pray:

O come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the Rock of our salvation! Lord, thank you for another week. Thank you that we are able to work with our hands to serve our families this way. Let our work be pleasing to you, and let it bless our families. Holy Spirit, please be with us and put a song in our hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your assignment:

Today – Today we are tackling our pantries! This is super important, as we tend to do a lot of shopping for holiday cooking/baking, and need plenty of room. Remove everything from your pantry. Throw away anything that is expired or questionable. Wipe down the shelves. Put in new shelf-liner if you’d like! If you have a walk-in pantry, give the walls a scrubbing if they need it, and make sure ceiling is free of spider webs. Wipe down the baseboard, and sweep & mop the floor.

Now it’s time to get organized and put everything back! I just LOVE an organized pantry!  All the veggies in one place, all the breakfast items in another, all the pasta in another, etc., etc. If you have cleaning and miscellaneous supplies in your pantry, those get organized, too. Two half-empty bottles of the same cleaner? Combine them, and recycle the extra container.  Cleaning rags that should’ve been thrown out long ago? Time to bid them farewell. You get the idea! This is the time I would also clean up my vacuum and disinfect my mop.

For some awesome pantry organization ideas, you can go to our Saturdays with Shandy board on Pinterest! I will have some great cleaning tips there for you, too! http://pinterest.com/gchministries/saturdays-with-shandy/

Monday – Today we are working on our refrigerator! Start by getting rid of expired items and forgotten “science experiments” if you have any. This is definitely the time to have the dishwasher empty and ready to clean any dishes you may be taking out. Now get some hot, soapy water and clean the refrigerator shelves, followed by wiping down the inside walls and door(s). Just like with the pantry, organize as you put items back. Do you have a bunch of ketchup or hot sauce packets from take-out places? Toss them if they’re old, or if you have newer ones you want to keep, put them all together in a plastic container. Salad dressings go on one shelf; condiments on another, etc. I will post a picture today (Saturday) of my before and after from when I did this a few months ago, so you can see how I organize my fridge. Now that we’ve moved, that refrigerator is now in our garage and is all clean, empty, and awaiting Christmas goodies and extra beverages, but I do have the refrigerator in our new kitchen to clean! I am doing this right along with you!  Grumbling Rejoicing right along with you!

Now that you are done with the inside of the refrigerator, do the same with the freezer. While you’re cleaning the inside, make sure you are cleaning the seal and any crevices carefully. Things like to hide in there if you aren’t careful to keep it clean. Now that the outside is clean, clear off the outside – remove magnets, notes, artwork, and anything else that may be there. Wipe down all sides of the fridge, including the top! Carefully move the fridge away from the wall (careful if you have a water line!) and clear away any dust bunnies that have accumulated. Now is a good time to sweep and wipe down the floor back there before pushing it back up to the wall. Be selective in what you place on top and on the doors and side of your refrigerator. Clutter makes it look untidy, even if it’s the cleanest fridge on the block!

Tues – Today we are cleaning our microwave and small appliances like the toaster and coffee maker. If anyone needs tips on how to get any of these clean, just ask! I have a great tip on how to clean your microwave on our Saturdays with Shandy Pinterest board! It’s the way I personally clean mine and it works great! You definitely don’t want to clean the inside of your microwave with a chemical cleaner, so take special care.

Wed – Time to clean the dishwasher. For a great how-to, check out our Pinterest board!

Thurs – We are cleaning our oven/stove today. I personally do not use the chemical sprays in mine. I don’t like the fumes, and it’s just not a very safe method. And you guessed it… there is another how-to on our Pinterest board! (Why try to reinvent the wheel? LOL)

Fri – Catch up on anything you haven’t completed. Then, enjoy your evening! You’ve definitely earned it this week!  We’ll be back in the kitchen for week 4, but isn’t it great to know the hard stuff is behind us? What a relief!!!

Blessings,

Shandy

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 3/ Day 5: See Your Eternal Value

October 19, 2012 by

 

Girls, just like all of you, I want to look and feel good about myself. Like some of you I can spend hours upon hours in the mall. What can I say, I like clothes, shoes, bags, make-up, jewelry; did I leave anything out?

Over the past ten years I was able to travel to different countries and have seen some really amazing things and sites. But when I look back at the places I have been to and the stuff I have accumulated over the years, I have to ask myself if this is what life is all about?

 

Although I treasure the memories of standing under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, taking a water taxi in Venice and looking at awe at the Alps in Switzerland, I have to ask myself if this is what I value in life. Does this satisfy my deepest heart’s desire, is this something that will change my life for the better and more importantly, will I be able to impact someone else’s life?

Girls, I don’t know about you, but my deepest desire is to do something of eternal value. Something that will last forever and that I along with other people will hold dear. How can I do this you might ask, the answer is simple, it is in the little things we do for other people, it is in the attitude of our hearts. You know, when you do something good for someone, you automatically feel good about yourself, not that that should be your motivation.

Colossians 4:5 says: “…… make the most of every opportunity”. That can simply be paying someone a compliment, opening the door for someone, returning your grocery cart, giving someone a smile or helping out at a shelter. If we do these things, we are helping others find Jesus, and helping them find Jesus is the best gift we can give anyone.

Not all of us have the means or finances to support people in need, but all of us have the ability to go on our knees to pray for someone, to be kind, to do good, be faithful, gentle, have self-control, give love, spread joy, be patient and kind.

Girls, I don’t want to leave a bunch of photos and a closet full of clothes behind, but what I want to leave behind is a godly legacy.

 

Let us strive to see our eternal value. This is our lives; these are the moments that make up our lives. Let’s use them wisely.

Be blessed my dear girlfriends!

Let us pray:

Father, I thank you for each and every girl in GCH: decaf. Thank you Father, that each one of them are fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you that each one of us will do something of eternal value every day to give You all the glory. Amen.

Be blessed!

Love you,

Edwina

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting – Meeting Across Continents

October 19, 2012 by


Where He Will Find Me

When I read this book a couple years ago, I decided to also read through the book of the Bible, Ruth.  If you have not read the book of Ruth, I strongly encourage you to do so with this study!  This section of the book called Meeting Across Continents really makes me think of Ruth.  In the first chapter of Ruth we see that instead of staying in a town where Ruth had the possibility of security in a husband and children, she decided to leave so she could care for her mother in law, Naomi.   Leaving ultimately meant there was no way of ever getting married and having a family.  Ruth gave up that dream because she knew following Naomi where God was leading them was better than staying where she was.  WOW!

On the contrary, here we are in our little lives we have grown oh so comfortable with, scared to leave our towns because if we go where the Lord is calling us, we will miss out on the guy that is going to put a ring on it!  Really that is what you think, isn’t it?  I know it is what I think.  I think that if I stay in my town or at least in my country than I will certainly cross paths with the man that I am supposed to marry.  I have had thoughts of going oversees to work in a ministry I have come to love but I stop those thoughts from being anything other than thoughts because I am scared if I let that thought flourish and even start praying for that thought then I will end up far away from my family helping women who hurt so badly find Jesus; instead of having the dream wedding I have always dreamed of.  That was really hard for me to write, but it is or was should I say unfortunately the truth.  Today I decided to pray for that thought.

I love Ruth for many things, but I think the best thing about Ruth is she saw how important it was to care for Naomi.  She gave up her life to care for Naomi.  In my Bible (I have the Life Application Bible) it says that back then, there was almost nothing worse than being a widow-which Naomi was.  The nearest relative to Naomi should care for her according to the law.  However, Naomi did not have any relatives.  All she had was Ruth.  Ruth desired to care for Naomi.  This selfless act, the Lord blessed incredibly.  When they traveled to Israel-the place Ruth should never have been able to marry, the Lord provided Ruth with her husband, Boaz.

Do you know who God is calling you to care for?  Is He calling you to care for a family member, like Ruth?  Is He calling you to a ministry somewhere other than where you are at this moment to care for hurting people in the world?  Maybe He is calling you somewhere that is far away from your family and will cause you to think if you indeed do go, you will miss out on your husband.  More importantly though, are you open to seeing just where the Lord wants you to care for the hurting people in the world.  Do you open your eyes to HIS desires for you?  Or are you scared because if you do, you are thinking you will miss out on your man.

I love the truth written on page 47 of our book; Jesus can bring your life-mate to you, no matter where you live.  Do you believe that?  You need to!  It is not about where we are, but what we are doing.  If we are doing God’s will then that is where we will find the man God has hand-picked for us!  Being in God’s will is where we should always desire to be even if it is in a different continent.  I do not want you to think that when you finally submit completely to God’s will than that means you will finally get that ring on your finger.  Being in God’s will is where you are meant to be single or married.  In God’s will is where you will be the happiest GLORIFYING God by caring for those he has hand-picked just for you to care for.

As for me, I know that I want the man I marry to find me in God’s will, doing what God so desperately desires for me to be doing.  When Ruth left all of the eligible bachelors in Moab-the last thing she was thinking was that God would bring her one in Israel, but He did!  I pray that as we have faith to leave the eligible bachelors we see with our eyes, we find the one with God’s eyes He has for us.

 

Let’s Pray:  Thank you Lord that we have Ruth to learn from.  The way she so selflessly cared for Naomi is incredibly encouraging.  I pray that you instill in us a desire to care for the people you have hand-picked for us to encounter in this life.  I pray that wherever you lead us, we have the faith to end up in your will for us, meaning single for some of us and married for some of us.  I pray that you help us to live by faith and not to live by our own wills.  Thank you Lord that you have taken care of our greatest need already-SALVATION.  We love you always and forever!  Amen

Your Assignment:  Read Ruth!!  Please feel free to leave a comment below (your comments can be anonymous if that makes you feel more comfortable) about your journey of living in God’s will for your life.  Or, share with us any time where you have decided to give up on an opportunity because you wanted to remain where you were just in case Mr. Right walked by.

 

 

If you would like to take part in this Online Bible Study and Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our website, in the Menu Bar. Once we receive your request, we will add you to our group!

Love you all,

Diane

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Divine Encounter

October 18, 2012 by


This blog post is brought to you by Katie Blumberg

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18
This verse was one I clung to (and still do!) all throughout my college years of singleness. I have faith that the Lord has created a man to compliment my gifts and talents. I have faith that he has created me to be someone’s helper, Encourager, and partner. So at the beginning of every new semester, and every time I walked into a church or worship service, or every time I started a new class or joined a new club, I would immediately be on the look-out for that man that the Lord was going to provide for me. How much time did I lose trying to place myself in the path of the “man of my dreams” rather than trying to place myself in the center of God’s will for me?
Let’s go back a bit to last week’s conversation. If we are pursuing the God-given dreams, desires, and passions that we feel led to, we will find ourselves in the best possible place: HIS will! But what about that fear that if we were to do that, to give our hearts entirely to the Lord and to allow him to lead us in every decision, that we might miss out on the man of our dreams? Let’s face it – not every woman who pursues the Lord’s call on her life to be a missionary in another country meets a man immediately to pursue that dream with her. Sometimes it takes years. But what the Lord is concerned with is our faithfulness to him…he has all the other details worked out!
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
This verse does not say that you will immediately receive a husband. It doesn’t say that if you follow him all things will go your way. It says that HE will give YOU the desires of YOUR heart, when you delight yourself in him. That’s right! Our loving and faithful God longs to bring us things that we will enjoy, be blessed by, and that we long for most! But what are the requirements? We must delight ourselves in him. That means giving up to him the things we think we want and need the most. That means trusting that his will is better than ours. That means we must stop trying to arrange our own future marriage by throwing ourselves in every man-pit we come across, and allow him to ordain the perfect time for your meeting. Many of the best love stories I hear have much less to do with women who forced their way into a relationship with “the perfect man” and much more to do with a divine encounter!
So I will repeat the question that Michelle asked, do you trust God? Do you trust that he already knows the desires of your heart and is waiting for you to delight in him, so that he can make your heart look like his? Do you trust that the Lord does not want you to wallow in loneliness and singleness forever, but to meet and marry a man that you are attracted to inside and out? Do you trust the Lord to bring you into a divine encounter with a “pillar of strength” (like Boaz!) that will become your husband? Our perfect and continually faithful Father knows what we are longing for. He knew when he created us, and when he created our helpers, that it would not be good for us to be alone. But He is also a jealous God, and he longs for us to turn our hearts to him, delight in him, and find our wholeness in him before he brings about Mr. Right at the perfectly appointed time.
Let’s seek the Lord and ask him to guide our paths, so that we are on the right one when the man he has been preparing for us decides to cross that path too!
Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, Thank you for knowing us more intimately than we know ourselves. Thank you for knowing the desires of our hearts, and creating us with those desires! And thank you for already knowing the plan you have for our lives. You have a divine encounter awaiting each of us, and all you ask is that we delight ourselves in you and follow your will. Give us patience as we wait the days, months, and maybe years before that divine encounter happens. Give us wisdom to seek you even when it seems hopeless and we want to turn back and follow the logical and easy route. Teach our hearts to delight in you, Lord! In your heavenly and precious name we ask these things, Amen!
Your Assignment:
Sometime today find a half hour that you can give your undivided attention to God. Ask him what it means to delight in Him, and how you have been successful in this, and how you can learn to do this more. Report back what he answers!
Be blessed,
Katie
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Filed Under: Singles Tagged With:

Winning Him Without Words: When We Don’t Agree

October 18, 2012 by

This blog is brought to you today by Sarah Boyer & Christi Wilson

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” Do you ever say that when you see an ad with a Victoria’s Secret model or see a skinny young thing on TV with everything where it ought to be (thanks to Photoshop!)? I do. Today’s world places so much emphasis on youth and beauty; it is hard to not get caught up in the hype to look younger, thinner, and less wrinkly.

But what if your husband sees these same commercials and ads and starts to suggest that you wear skimpy outfits like those women. Or what if he subscribes to a certain type of magazine or visits sites online that portray women in sexual situations that you know are wrong and demoralizing, but your husband thinks would be fun? After all, the bible says to submit to your husband. But how far is too far?

I love how Lynn answers this tough question. You need to talk about setting boundaries in the bedroom. Your husband married you because he loves YOU, not what you can do for him sexually. He needs to respect your wishes and you need to do the same for him. But he can never expect you to do things you feel are inappropriate or make you feel ashamed.  If you sit down and talk about what you are both comfortable and not comfortable with, there can be no misunderstandings. No, it won’t be an easy conversation, but it is just as important as discussing money issues and child rearing methods. The marriage bed is supposed to be a comfortable and enjoyable place to be. Without setting boundaries, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy love making with your husband and that is not what God wants for you.

What if your husband calls you a “prude” because you are Christian?  You need to reassure him and tell him that God approves of sex between a husband and a wife and that you are not, nor will you ever become a prude because you are a Christian. Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. It is the most intimate way you can show your love for one another. There is no need to be prudish about sex with your husband. God designed us to be intimate with our spouses. He wants us to enjoy sex too! Read Song of Solomon if you doubt me! The whole book is dedicated to the story of pursuing love, expressing love, and enjoying love…being able to abandon ourselves to our husbands wholeheartedly and with passion, holding nothing back. That doesn’t sound like God wants us to be prudish to me!

I love what Lynn wrote at the end of this section:  Intimacy, love, sex, trust, forgiveness, commitment, respect – all of these are components of married love and are gifts from the Lord. Enjoy!

One more problem that can come up in our sex lives is agreeing on WHEN. As wives and mothers we are tired! We work full time jobs, we take care of the kids, we cook, we clean, and then at the end of the day we are expected to be enthusiastic lovers when we really want to just go to sleep. I understand, but getting into this pattern of work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of kids puts your husband last on the list. Men are physical beings, connecting in the bedroom is how they express their most intimate love for you. You need to make an effort not to deny him. Yes we are tired, but you really need to make an effort to make time for love making with your husband. Remember when you were first married? Your guy was the most important thing in your life, next to God of course. Make an effort to rekindle those feelings for your husband and make time for him just like you did when you were newlyweds!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the last couple of days, we’ve been talking about the pleasures of the marriage bed.  But today, I want to add a little something to think about.

What about women who have sexless marriages?  For those marriages that have physical problems, maybe one spouse is physically incapable of having sex.  Is it okay that this marriage is sexless, if both parties agree that it’s okay?  Or is it a detriment to the marriage because it leaves room for temptation?

What about those women whose husband has no sex drive?  There are men out there who are unable to perform sexually due to medical reasons, but are unable to take certain medications because of other physical problems.  Is this sexless marriage okay?  Or does this leave room for temptation?

What about the couple that realizes that physical problems prevent them from having sex, but they are okay with it?  They love each other anyway.  Is that sexless marriage okay?

Sex is such an important part of marriage.  But we have to realize too, that there are reasons couples cannot have sex.  They may be able to do everything else, but unable to complete the lovemaking.  If this is truly acceptable to both parties, is this something God would approve?

We just have to keep these things in mind when it comes to having a satisfying sex life.  There are other ways of having a fulfilling sex life without intercourse.  I know this is bold, but it’s the truth.  If both couples agree to a sexless marriage, I personally do not feel there is anything wrong with this, especially when it comes to physical problems preventing it; but I do believe that both parties must be in total agreement with it.

Whatever you do, PRAY!  Pray the Word of God over your marriage, over your bedroom, over your bed, over your husband’s pillow.  As Sarah suggested above, take the book of Song of Solomon and pray it over you and your husband in 1st person, such as:  “(Spouse’s name) is my beloved, and I am (Spouse’s Name), and his desire is only for me.  And so on.  Read the whole book!  If you have to, read it out loud when you go to bed together!

Listed below are some good books that I would suggest for couples who are just struggling in the bedroom:  “Sex Begins in the Kitchen” by Dr. Kevin Leman  — “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman — “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Smalley – There are many other great books out there to choose from.

God bless,

Christi

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, sometimes as wives we view sex as a “have to” instead of a “want to” which creates a roadblock to our intimacy with our husbands. Please help us to remember that You intended sex to be a fun and loving activity with our husband. Help us to put away the stresses of life and enjoy our intimacy with our husbands. Let our intimacy bring us closer together and help us to stay connected. Remind us that You want us to enjoy sex with our husbands, giving our full abandon.

We pray for those marriages who are physically incapable of having sex.  We ask Lord that You give these couples creative ideas on fulfilling each other sexually.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

I would like you to describe below the best date you had with your husband while you were dating. As you write about it, remember how you felt on that date. Remember the anticipation you felt while getting all dolled up for your guy. Remember how he looked, and remember your feelings for him during that date. Write it all out and then as soon as possible, recreate that date!

 

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Lady In Waiting: Eyes of Faith

October 17, 2012 by

 

The first thing that struck me when I read this section of the book was the first line. “Orpha’s example of going after the available men could have influenced Ruth to return to Moab, the home of her parents and the gods of her youth. “

How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to places where God doesn’t want me to go? How many times have I let the examples of others lead me to people God didn’t mean for me? Sheesh, the first line and I am already beginning a series of introspective questions. But this is a good thing, I see it as God showing me the times in my life when I did not have eyes of faith, He’s using my past to teach me how to trust Him in my present and in my future.

Before I was married I had my daughter. I found myself a single mother with no prospect of a husband on the horizon.  I saw friends embarking on successful relationships, I saw my friends being happy, and well what I thought was happy at the time. And here I was, hopeless and alone.  I began to put my hope in my friends relationships; “if I only do this or that I will be happy and complete like them”, “If I go here or there I will find that successful relationship.” I was putting my hope in the wrong things and in the wrong people. I most definitely did not have eyes of faith.

Not having eyes of faith led me down roads I didn’t need to go down, it led me to have relationships I didn’t need to have. Not having eyes of faith separated me from God, it distanced me from him because I was telling him that I didn’t trust Him enough to bring me the husband I wanted,  the life I desired, it said I didn’t trust him to fulfill the promises he made to me, it went beyond me wanting a husband.

As the book said I needed spiritual eye wash. I needed God to reign me back in and I need to began working on eyes of faith. I once had the wrong mindset that walking in faith would mean that everything would fall into place, that my knight in shining armor would be standing on my doorstep once I  committed to trusting Gods plan for my life.  Nope. It did not happen like that. I had to wait and have him better my vision; I had to strengthen my sight before he brought my husband.  It was hard at times but I knew He was working on me, preparing my husband for me and me for my husband.

The good thing is that He is still working on me. I am still cleaning my eyes out daily in His word to become the Tonya He designed me to be. I can’t see into the future but my eyes of faith don’t have to, all I need to see is the words written on the paper, and in my heart. Some days are hard and I can’t see straight, I can’t feel the words on the paper. Despite my lack of feelings on those hard days, I know He’s still there. I know I can still trust Him.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Let’s pray:
Lord, faith is hard sometimes, it shouldn’t be but it is. I find myself questioning my life sometimes, I find myself asking question after question about my future. For that I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not having eyes of faith, for not seeing that you have my future planned out and that the future you planned is the one that is good for me. I may not see what you have in store but I will stop allowing the examples of my friends influence me in my actions, I will stop allowing their examples  to influence me to look where I do not need to be looking, what you planned for them is not what you planned for me. Thank you for this time of waiting that you have given me to strengthen my faith and to become the woman of faith you created me to be. I bind satan’s lies in your name. His whispers in my ears will not affect me. You know what you’re doing and I am going to trust in you. Thank you for your grace and mercy on the hard days, when I can’t see clearly.  You alone know what I need and when I need it.  In Jesus’ name amen

Your Assignment:
Is faith as a single woman ever hard for you? Does your vision blur from time to time? Let’s encourage one another, when you need “spiritual eye wash” what scriptures help you see better?

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Winning Him Without Words: Bring on the Bedroom

October 17, 2012 by
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5
I’m just going to reiterate some of the things written in this part of our chapter:
* This verse, like Lynn says, is God’s perspective on intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is a gift from God, something that we share only with each other. Created by God for marriage.
* It is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for husband and wife.
*We need to make the effort.
Let’s face it when we got married all we wanted to do was make love, for the first few months that’s all we do! But then life gets in the way and intimacy goes on the back burner. We have children and jobs and we get tired after dealing with these things all day. This part of our marriage is important to both of us and we shouldn’t neglect it. That being said and so as not to re-write everything that was written in our study, I want to share with some practical  things with you so you can enjoy and anticipate this vital part of your marriage, making it fun as you do!
The first thing I would have you do is pray! This is important because it puts things into a biblical mindset for you and also gets your heart in the right place.
When I first got married a friend of mine, who had been married for some time, gave me this advice that someone had given her when she married. Write down all the things that attracted you to your husband when you first met and married. It may not all be physical. Just all the good qualities and things that made your heart melt at the sight of him. Then go back and read it often and especially when you know it’s been awhile and you need to be reminded. Then think on those things!
Text him at work or call and leave a message of love for him on his phone. Sometimes I leave a little sticky note in his lunch box for him to find.
Buy a new negligee once in awhile and wear it on a night when it’s least expected and surprise him. I guarantee he will be in the mood!
Make reservations at a restaurant you both like and take him out on a date. Date nights are usually planned by us; so be as creative as you can. Dress to the nines!!
A picnic in the country or at a park you like to go to, just the two of you.
Fom Christi:  There is a candle that I will suggest to you, also.  It’s a Woodwick Candle.  It actually has a wood wick, so when the wick is lit, it crackles while it burns, making it sound like a mini-fireplace!! 🙂  Use this candle, especially if you have children, as a signal to your spouse that you are interested in making love with him that night.  BOTH of you can use this candle in this way!  Light it earlier in the day, so it gives each other time to prep and get the kids taken care of, before that special time alone.
On a grander scale here are some things you can do that I have found are very nice, whether it’s your  anniversary or a special occasion or just because:
I kidnapped my husband once. A week ahead of time I made reservations for dinner and a hotel in the town where my husband works. Then I had a friend drive me to his work and drop me off at his car. I was dressed in heels and his favorite dress and smelled wonderful! I looked GOOD!! When he came out to his car and found me there he was so shocked. I took over the wheel of the car and drove us to the hotel where he showered and changed ( I had packed a bag for him). We went to dinner and just enjoyed being together and the night!!! It was great fun for both of us!
We usually go somewhere for a couple days for our anniversary every year. It usually in our home state, so we don’t go too far, staying at a B&B. We find lots of unique places and it’s something we plan together months in advance and look forward to.
We also make sure to take a weeks vacation together, just the two of us every summer. We plan ahead and make it special by doing something we individually like together for a day. He likes sports, I like shopping. So we each get to enjoy it together. I can handle it for one day and so can he.
Every five years or so we attend a marriage seminar of some sort. It refreshes you and reminds you to think of your marriage as a priority, And they usually touch on the subject of intimacy too.
Let’ face it, day to day life is sometimes boring and we can let that leak into our sex life as well. Plan ahead and think of your husband. Anticipation is the key for us. God intended for us to be intimate, and it’s a very special part of our marriage. Let’s try to keep it alive and well. God says it is good and we should enjoy it!!!
If you are interested in more Date Night / Romance ideas, and you belong to our Facebook Discussion Group, please check the Files section of your group!  There are a ton of great ideas in that section of our your group!
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Lets Pray:
God thank you for our spouses and our marriages. Help us to keep intimate with you and with each other. I pray that we would purpose to keep the intimate part of our marriage alive and well and honoring you. Remind us daily of our love for our husbands. Help us to be creative and loving in our planning for these times. Thank you lord of the gift of intimacy  with our husband. In Jesus name-Amen.
Your assignment:
I have shared a few things that I have done to keep our love alive in our marriage. What things, without giving too much detail, can you say you’ve done or are planning to do to help this part of your marriage to stay alive and well?  Maybe we can steal some of those ideas for ourselves!!!
Many Blessings,
Donna
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Winning Him Without Words: All Things Are Not Equal

October 16, 2012 by

“You might be wondering why it seems to always be up to you to change, to give, to love. What about him? Doesn’t he have to do anything?” — p. 61


I have to admit something to all of you.

This is the single hardest section for me in the book thus far.

Do you want me to “get real” with all of you? Here are the ugly, selfish thoughts that ran through my head while reading this section: Why do I always have to give and give without ever getting anything in return? Will I always live in this continual bout of frustration? Why won’t my husband ever see that I am hurting? Why won’t he anticipate my needs? Why do I have to cater to HIS needs while mine remain unmet? Why won’t he help me in my times of need?

Why me, why me, why me?

Ugh, I sound pathetic just writing that out. And part of me wants to go back and rewrite it so I sound better.

But they are real feelings and until I can admit them to myself (and you admit them to yourself, whatever your ugly, selfish feelings may be), we cannot conquer them with truth from God’s Word:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

My thoughts certainly are not patient nor kind. In fact, my thoughts are rather rude and self-seeking. My Life Application Study Bible has this note for these verses:

Our society confuses love and lust. Unlike lust, God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return. Thus, the more we become like Christ, the more  love we will show to others.

The selfish feelings we experience are normal. It is only with God’s help that we can love without expectation. God knows our every need. God knows every ache of our heart. God knows every desire of our soul. I am here to tell you, as hard as this is to grasp, God is the only one who can meet your every need. If you continue to rely on your husband to meet your every need, you will always be disappointed, because your husband is not God.

Last week we learned that we have to release the control of our husband’s salvation to God. This week, God revealed an even more important truth to me. I need to take my husband off the throne. I must ensure  that I am not making my husband the God of my life. He is not there to meet my every need, to serve my every whim. He is my helpmeet, my partner, my friend. He is only a man. As much as I would like him to be, he is not on this earth to serve me. Once God gets him, his function in life will be to serve the Lord first and foremost.

It is not about me.

This week, let us focus on learning from Jesus about true, biblical love. Let us set our desires aside and look to God for the true meaning of love. The kind of love He has for us – that no matter what we do or where we go, He still pursues us and loves us and wants to draw us to Himself. The kind of love that is patient and kind; not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered, or keeps record of wrongs. A love that rejoices with the truth, protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, we come to you this day asking you to teach us about biblical love. Show us how to set aside our expectations and selfishness and to focus on loving others like you love us. Reveal to us in your personal way, through people placed in our path or through your Word, what we need to learn and what steps we need to take. Father, I also ask that you help us to take our husbands off the throne if we have made them an idol in our lives. Help us to place you firmly in that spot and to be able to show grace and compassion upon our husbands today. In Jesus name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is one intentional thing you can do for your husband today without expecting anything in return? (Remember, if you post it, really try to commit to not expecting your husband to give you anything in return – even a thank you! Do it out of love for God and for your husband.)

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

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