November 26, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – Why Does It Take So Long to Get Rid of Our Character Defects?

February 5, 2013 by

There are four main reasons why it’s hard to change the defects in our lives:

1. Because we’ve had them for so long.
2. Because we confuse our defects with our identity.
3. Because every defect has a payoff.
4. Because Satan discourages our efforts to change.

All my life I have been a very anxious person. I have always felt I did not belong or fit in. I always felt disconnected and unloved by my father. I have felt like a burden to my husband and all of our family. I have felt like I’m not good enough, or smart enough, to hang out with or be accepted by my husband’s friends or around those he worked with because they were so smart and had much more education than me. I have felt shameful for things I have done out of my addictions. I have felt unworthy as a person and that I don’t deserve to be happy or to be loved. I have felt afraid to love, trust, and have intimacy with my husband because I did not feel this growing up from any male figure. I have even gone so far as feeling embarrassed at Bible study when asked to turn to a certain book because I had no idea if it was in the front, middle, or back; and therefore I felt I was ignorant.

So now you understand why I am the way I am. Of course, I needed to take Xanax and drink, because of my horrible anxiety. Of course, I needed to hide and avoid everyone, because I don’t fit in. Of course, I had to distance my heart and stay as far away from intimacy with my husband, because he might abandon me like my dad had done. Of course, I’m afraid to trust because of all the bad relationships that have disappointed me and hurt me. Surely you understand, too, right?

Now you can see why it’s been so hard for me to let go; because if I did, then who am I? Who will Leslie be without anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, hatred, loneliness, bitterness, and unworthiness? I had no clue what it would feel like to want to live…to feel like a good mom and wife—or, especially, God’s child? Do you see where I am going with this? I honestly had lived my 38 years believing all of these defects are who I am and that I will always be this person who would always be depressed, a worthless person, and bound to be ill and miserable for the rest of my life or until I would finally take it. My life was hopeless and that’s who I was—just a miserable hopeless person. And, although life was excruciating, I couldn’t imagine things differently.

I remember just how frightened I was when I became sober. I was so fearful to face things without using something to get me through it. Emotions were almost unbearable to feel without that Benzo or glass of wine. It was so hard being alone in the house because the voices that I hid from were much louder and frequent in a quiet house. I was so afraid to be in certain rooms of my home because I remembered withdrawals and hallucinations that I experienced there. It was so hard to come home from outpatient program and do my assignment of looking in the mirror and telling that image looking back at me that I love me and I am a good person.

Letting go of these defects was not easy. I actually enjoyed the attention I got because of my illness. I felt wanted and loved when family members called and checked on me. I liked receiving cards and seeing my name on prayer lists. I actually liked being able to not speak to my dad because I wanted to have power over him feeling sad and abandoned because of all the years I felt that hurt. I liked being constantly pitied when I would do destructive things to myself because that not only got me much more attention from my family, but attention from doctors, also. For me, a life I was miserably comfortable in at least had a payoff. How about you? What payoff do you get by not letting go of your defects?

John Baker says in this chapter, “Satan constantly tries to fill our minds with negative thoughts. He is the accuser. He whispers in our ear, ‘This will never work; you can’t do it, you’ll never change.‘” Have you been hearing this alot?

When I started seeking Christ these whispers were constant, loud, almost paralyzing at times. I learned to rebuke Satan, and almost every 5 seconds I was doing so in the name of Jesus. Satan would stop for a few moments and start right back up. Being fragile and not trusting in God very much, I spent my days feeling weak and tired. Satan told me I would never be well, I would not stay sober, I was a loser, I had no real friends, that my husband pitied me and that he had lost hope in me. I had thoughts that my kids might be scared from seeing my actions and addictions. And that I did not have a real relationship with God because He did not love me enough to save me and take me out of that hell I lived. Why did I have to hurt so badly for so long? Does God not love me?

John8_32Please listen very carefully, ladies…SATAN IS A LIAR!!! There is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he shows what he really is like. The devil was a murderer from the beginning. He has never been truthful. He doesn’t know what the truth is. Whenever he tells a lie, he’s doing what comes naturally to him. He’s a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44 God’s Word Translation). Baker states, “But counteracting Satan’s lies is the truth that sets us free.” Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). As we begin to grow in God’s truth and voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our life and allow Him to remove our character defects, we will discover the happiness of doing what God requires. So what are you waiting for?

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LETS PRAY
Father, we come to You today ready to submit to all the changes You want to make in each of our lives and remove our character defects. We ask that You reveal to us defects that we have lived with for so long and have become part of who we are. Help us to let go of these things. Lord, help us when Satan tries to discourage our efforts to change by trying to fill our minds with negative thoughts, and instead focus on the truth, Lord. For we know the devil is a liar and the father of all lies. Lord, we ask for Your help; and we thank You for Your forgiveness and love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Find a quiet place and ask God to reveal to you your biggest character defect. What has been the payoff keeping it and not letting it go?

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If you are interested in joining us for this amazing Online Bible Study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private email to Leslie in regards to this blog, please email her at:
Leslie@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation (Reading Assignment)

February 3, 2013 by

Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“God blesses those people who want to obey Him more than to eat or drink.  They will be given what they want!” (Matthew 5:6 CEV)

The hardest part for those of us who like to be in control of our circumstances (and lives) is surrendering ALL to His authority, and being willing to submit to EVERY change He brings to us.  John Baker starts Chapter 5 by describing how it’s against our nature to change our behaviors.  It’s so much easier to keep doing what we’ve been doing.  It’s been said that changing a habit takes around 30 days of consistent behavior to make it stick.  How many of us actually try for that long?  Here we are in February, how many of you are holding firm to the New Year’s resolutions you made?

The scars we bear from our life experiences did not happen overnight, and we cannot expect change to be rapid.  Over the past four weeks, we’ve been preparing our hearts and minds for the changes God wants to do in our lives.  He’s been working in us through this time, but it’s also been a time of preparation.  Romans 12:1, 2 says that we are to “be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT).

Do you take the time to read a passage in different translations?  Sometimes you can get more insight, clarification, and direction by what the various translations offer.  From The Message, we read the same passage in Romans, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

How awesome is that?  God is helping us.  God wants the best for us.  He will change us inside and out.  Another promise of The Father we can hold on to when we don’t think we can keep on this journey.

Chapter 5 will discuss where our character defects come from, why it takes so long to get rid of them, and how we cooperate with God during this transformation process.  A key point for me in this process is to remember my identity in Christ, who He says I am.  Baker says, “Notice their identity is in their belief in Christ…they do not allow character defects to become their identity” (pp 133, 134).

Almost 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  It’s a chronic pain syndrome that many don’t fully understand.  Even with almost 11 years together, my husband still doesn’t “get it” on many days, though he has learned to be more patient and tolerant of my episodes.  Pain, muscle tenderness, weakness and tingling are common place for me.  On a daily basis something hurts, usually my back, hips and shoulders.  But I also get tingling and swelling in my feet and hands; and fatigue…oh boy, do I get tired!  Some days I feel like I over-exerted myself the day before.  Other days, I feel like I’m battling the worst flu virus ever.  And, the only thing I can do is manage symptoms; there is no cure.  I have medications to take.  I give in to the afternoon nap.  I opt to sit as an observer than push my body in an activity I know I’ll regret later.  I get massages (much too infrequently) from a therapist who knows how to treat my body.  And, I try to enjoy walking as an easy, low-stress exercise for my body.  Keeping it moving helps keep it from tightening up even more.

Now, I know there are people with fibromyalgia who are truly affected more severely than I am, so this is not meant to disregard the severity of their situations.  Many are unable to work, enjoy activities, or function on a normal level.  I’ve never been affected so badly that I cannot “do life.”  I may not want to do something, but it’s a mental attitude not a physical limitation.  But what if I gave in to my pain and let it determine who I am?  If I focused on what I have, rather than who I am, how much different would my life be?  I might refuse to leave my bed.  I might quit my job because it’s just too much effort.  I might refuse to care for my family; instead asking them to tend to my needs.

But I am a person with fibromyalgia.  It does not have me.  Just like I am a child of Christ with sin, sin does not have me.  I have freedom in Christ.  And, it’s His freedom that also provides comfort during my fibro-flares (periods when it is worse).  It is His strength that pushes me through.  It is His wisdom that guides my doctors for management.  And, oddly, it’s a blessing in my life at times because the flares cause me to rest, and be thankful that my infliction truly isn’t that bad in the scheme of things.

So what defines you?  Do you believe you cannot change because it’s “just the way you are?”  Do you see yourself as the addict or victim?  Or do you see yourself as God sees you.

James 4:10 

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and he will lift you up in honor. (NLT)

Reading Assignment for Week 4: Chapter 4 of Life’s Healing Choices

Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 5: The Transformation Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Why Does It Take So Long?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss How Do We Cooperate With God?
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:

Lord, so many times we view our scars and afflictions as bad things in our lives.  Help us to see these as tools used by Your Hand to change and transform us into the daughters You want us to be.  You desire only the best for us.  You gave Your very best to us in Your Son, Jesus.  Show us the defects within that keep us from freedom and peace.  Allow us to humbly bow to You wisdom and correction in this process.  Amen.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:

Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 4 – Make The Choice

January 31, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Search usSearch me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life (Psalm 139:23, 24).

This week’s activities will bring memories to the surface that may have been ignored (or forgotten) for years.  But Jesus promised that the truth will set us free (John 8:32 NLT). So without further delay, let’s get started!

PRAY –

Dear Lord, it is so difficult to look within and admit our hurts.  We guard our hearts and deny the pain because it just hurts too much.  Look within us and guide us through this week’s activity.  Help us be honest with ourselves about the pains we’re hiding, the effects others have had on our lives, and even what we’ve done to others.  Our heart’s desire is to be healthy, to shed the negative emotions that hold us back.  We know that the only way to truly be free is to face our fears and find strength in You.  Give us the strength to discuss with our trusted friends.  Thank you for loving us through it all, no matter what.  Amen.

WRITE –

John Baker outlines on page 116 steps to working through our past hurts through a personal inventory.  You will need several sheets of paper to complete the inventory.  Because of the detailed instructions Baker provides, I will be using his descriptions for this step.

Using a piece of paper, create 5 columns and label at the top: The Person, The Cause, The Effect, The Damage, and My Part.

The Person – List the person or object you resent or fear.  Go back as far as you can.  Remember that resentment is mostly unexpressed anger, hurt or fear.

The Cause – It has been said that ‘hurt people hurt people.’  List specific actions someone did to hurt you.

The Effect – Write down how that specific hurtful action affected your life in the past and in the present.

The Damage – Write down which of your basic needs were injured.  Social: Have you suffered from broken relationships, slander, or gossip?  Security: Has your physical safety been threatened? Have you faced financial loss?  Sexual: Have you been a victim in abusive relationships?  Has intimacy or trust been damaged or broken?

My Part – You need to honestly determine and write down the part of the resentment (or another sin or injury) that you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part in a broken or damaged marriage or relationship, a distant child or parent, or maybe a job loss.  List the people you have hurt and how you specifically hurt them.

In 1973, I was a free-spirited 4 year old who didn’t have a care in the world.  I don’t remember much about this time, except for one thing—returning home with my mom, from a visit to my grandparents, to find our home empty.  I remember my mom going from room to room, and the confusion I felt as she looked through everything.  My dad had left.  Packed his things, and just left.  No word, no comment, no goodbye.

On my birthday in 1979, I was getting ready for a sleep over with a couple girlfriends when the phone rang.  My step-dad yelled up for me, “Amy, your dad’s on the phone.”  What?  What did he mean, “My dad’s on the phone?”  I hadn’t heard from my dad in 6 years.  I went to the kitchen to see my mom crying—the only time I’d seen her cry up to this point was because of my dad.  I picked up the phone, and heard the voice.  Yes, it was my dad.  I was shell-shocked, quiet, and I’m sure I must have been confused and angry, too.

I never realized the impact these events would have on my life until I was in my mid-30s.  I had superficial friendships, a desire to know-everything-and-be-perfect, and was facing my first significant depression.  I learned how guarded I was with my heart, because I was convinced that if my dad could leave me, certainly others (less vested in my life) would leave me too.  But if I proved to be invaluable with my knowledge, my skills, my talents…people would HAVE to keep me around!  I was miserable.  I was doing everything to please other people, to make them like me, and I ended up not liking myself.  Through this process, I had relationships that didn’t work (I ended them before they could so I would have control).  I doubted God’s true feelings for me (sure, He says He loves me but so did my dad). 

There’s so much more I could say on how this affected my life, but that’s not the real story.  Having the ability to put aside the hurt and realize that it wasn’t about me.  My dad didn’t leave because of me, and nothing I could have done at the age of 4 would have changed his heart or his mind.  He has his own hurts to deal with and I can’t do it for him.  What I can do is forgive him and move forward.  But I also need to release my misplaced guilt and shame … and truly embrace the truth, “It wasn’t about me.”

God blessed my life with an amazing man in 1976, my stepdad who was, for all intents & purposes, my “dad” for 27 years.  I walked beside him when I got married.  He cradled my daughter as a newborn.  I held his hand in his last days, and heard him whisper “thank you” (the last words he spoke to me).  The day that he passed into God’s glory, my father called me to give his condolences, and added, “I couldn’t have picked a better man to raise you.”  To this day, there is so much power in that phrase that I cannot even begin to express.

Just as those words from my father bring a peace to my heart, I can trust God, The Father, when He says He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:46).  I can trust that I am God’s child (John 1:12), I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10), I am free forever from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), and so many more of the promises found in His Word.

SHARE –

Take time with your trusted friend to go through what you wrote in your inventory.  The lists you created are no one’s business but yours, God’s and the person with whom you choose to share it with. 

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Power Verses:
1 Peter 5:10 NCV
Psalm 139:23, 24
John 8:32
Hebrews 13:46
John 1:12
Colossians 2:10
Romans 8:1, 2
Ephesians 2:10

Lord, thank You for being a loving and personal God who allows us to come to Him with our hurts.  You have adopted us as Your own children.  We know that nothing we experience is unknown to You.  Everything has passed through Your hands before we see it.  Help us work through our hurts in an open and honest way, to uncover those emotions & events we’ve been trying to hide for so long.  Jesus said that we will know the truth, and the truth will set us free.  We cling to this hope and ask for Your truth to shine upon us.  Thank you, Lord, for loving us as only a good Father can.  Amen.

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Crazy Love: Chapter 4 – Lukewarm People

January 30, 2013 by

This chapter in the book is hard to read because it’s making me examine every part of my walk with God. It’s also very good because it’s making me examine every part of my walk with God! If that sounds like a contradiction, I guess that’s okay. I believe God gives us these study books, times, and people in our lives to re-examine our walk and commitment to Him. We shouldn’t take it lightly. Everything is done for a reason and  for His purposes.  Some of the things presented do not line up with our world today and that is a good thing. We don’t want our lives to measure up with the world and what it thinks we should tolerate and be today.

So, in reading this part of the book, I have compiled a few questions for myself:

1. Do I love God with all my heart, soul, and mind?

2. Am I one of those people who think that this kind of love is radical?

3. Do I love others more than myself, or just those that love me back?

4.  Am I willing to serve God without limits?

5. Do I think about my life here on earth more than I do eternity in Heaven?

6. Do I give out of a heart that is willing to sacrifice even if it makes me uncomfortable?

7. Am I content with being just good enough?

8. Do I just play it safe or do I sacrifice and takes risks for God?

I find myself really lacking  in some of these questions. I love God and am so grateful for my salvation. I need to let go of things that hold me back from experiencing all God has for me. I know there are some things I could change to help my walk be closer to His ideal. First and foremost, I could spend more time with God, learning more about Him and His plan for my life.  Then put into practice more of what these questions are implying, a more Godly approach to life and others, a right perspective.

Perhaps I need to examine how many  worldly things I participate in that can be curtailed or even taken out of my life. Like how much time DO I spend in front of the TV watching things that  I shouldn’t be watching?  Have you seen some of the shows on TV? I mean I try to be selective in what I watch but even the commercials are ungodly! Do I realize that Jesus is right there watching along with me?  WOAH!  And how about the music I’m listening to, does it glorify God? What about the book I’m reading?

These things are hard!!  These things are so accepted in the world today and, yes, even in the Christian realm! We tolerate so many things in our lives because the world doesn’t think it is wrong. But we need to ask God if it’s wrong instead.

When I’m in church do I seek out the unlovely and pour out God’s genuine love on them?

I have a dear friend who often asks me to go a little past comfortable…go a little further in the things of God. She says she is stretching me! Sometimes that make me uncomfortable, but I do it. You know what? It usually turns out to be exactly what I needed! She’s not afraid to take risks and she helps me see the good in that.

shallowchristian

I want to be able to answer all of these questions, and more, in the positive, but unfortunately I can’t do that at all times. There are areas in my life that I need to work on. I believe we all do. I don’t want to be a shallow Christian. I want my roots to go deep into God. I believe our walk with God is a continual growing process. We should never be at a stand still, but moving forward with our eyes fixed on the upward call of God. The minute we take our eyes off Him, they go to self. And then we get caught up in ourselves, our circumstances, and the world. Our priority is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and sharing it with others; that’s why we’re here. It’s not about us.  It’s all about Him.

 

 

In Christ,

Donna

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, I am praying for a right perspective on our world and how we live in  it. May You be our one and only priority when living out our faith. Bring to mind in our daily lives these questions and help us to answer them in the positive at the end of the day. And that we have our faith and walk on track with Your purposes in mind. Thank You that You love us with such unending love.  In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Your Assignment:

Did you ask yourself some questions when reading this part of the book today? What are some of those questions? Let’s get our heads together and ponder them and maybe they will help us to change some things in our lives that God would have us change in order to serve Him with a right perspective.

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If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Donna in regards to this blog, please email her at: Donna@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

 

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Crazy Love – Chapter 3 – Pages 57-60 – Wanted

January 23, 2013 by

Wanted!  Oh, how I longed to hear that word when I was a child! I think all of us have the need to know we are not here by accident, that we are wanted. That’s why I loved the verses Mr. Chan shared with us in Jeremiah 1:4-5, “The Lord came to me saying, ‘ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’ “

When I was a teenager I met God and was so blessed to find out through His word that I was not a mistake, I was WANTED! It was threaded throughout His word as proof!! I was actually planned!!!

When my husband and I married we actually wanted a dozen kids! Really!! When nothing happened for almost 2 years, we went in search of answers. My doctor tested both of us and came back with the devastating news…we would never have any children! My husband and I, not really serving God as yet, cried in each others arms. We were heartbroken. Then my husband said three words that I will never forget. Speaking of the doctor, he said, “He’s not God!”

Now we had both had an encounter with God when we were young, but we were never discipled and so fell away from God. I always knew God was there, I just hadn’t figured out how to serve Him. So we both decided we’d pray about having children. Come to find out God was at work all along!  I was pregnant even during the testing. I just didn’t know it yet. Isn’t that just like our God? When we left it up to God how many children we would have, He took care of it. We were blessed with two daughters and a son. That was God’s plan all along!

 

I’m so glad I have a Heavenly Father, aren’t you? I don’t have to worry about what to do from day-to-day; He will direct my path. In fact, He wants to! He loves us so much. He planned for us and wanted us and has a plan for us. He even made a way for us to spend eternity with Him if we just accept His FREE gift. We don’t have to work, because our works are as filthy rags to Him.   All we have to do is accept Him.

Thank you, Father for Your free gift of eternal life with You!!

Be Blessed,

Donna

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I praise You from the depths of my being for wanting and planning for me. I am not worthy, but You made a way for me. I pray for any ladies who are reading this who have not accepted Your free gift of salvation. May they do so today by just praying and asking You for it.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

I love reading in Scripture how God has wanted me from my formation in my mother’s womb. Read these verses and meditate on them for a while. Then tell us how they are speaking to you today.

1 John 4:19

Leviticus 26:12

Jeremiah 1:4, 5

Jeremiah 29:11

Psalms 139:13-16

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If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Donna in regards to this blog, please email her at: Donna@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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Life’s Healing Choices: The Commitment Choice

January 20, 2013 by

Happy are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Matthew 5:5 (TEV/NIV)

During our second week of the Life’s Healing Choices study, I was confronted in several areas of my life where I must have control.  When I don’t feel like I have the desired level of control, the world spins around me and anxiety reigns in an ugly way.  Conflicts arise in my relationships with my kids & my husband, and the anxiety just grows and grows.  And, gaining my perceived level of control doesn’t make anything better because those around me are already irritated and annoyed with my actions.  So when I read the first page of Chapter 3, I knew this week is going be even more hard-hitting for me.

John Baker writes, “We take desperate measures, trying to keep our life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits up in the air so they don’t come crashing down around us.  We try so hard to keep up a good front- pretending that everything is okay – when in reality, we’re struggling with real pain and real issues that we desperately try to ignore.”  He continues, “we start feeling guilty about our behavior … I should be able to change.”   Yep, once again, I admit … that’s me.  Juggling everything for everybody, hoping nothing comes crashing down, yet I’m crawling inside with anxiety, worry, and fear that my lack of control will be found out.  I should be able to do it all!  I should be able to change the world around me!  I should … I should … I should.

Ah, but there’s where the problem lies.  I was never designed to do it all, or be all.  Especially not in my own power, strength, and energy.  We saw last week how we must plug in to God’s power to overcome our past experiences, and daily strive to become closer to Him.  This week’s lesson will be on letting go. 

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Choice 3: Consciously choosing to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

We will learn the things that keep us from making this choice, how to move forward & toward Him more, and how God will be with us every step of the way.

Remember, God never told us that life would be easy.  But He did promise that our load would be lighter and easier to bear if we allowed Him to walk alongside us.  Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us…

Matthew11_28thru30

When I read that verse, I think of my idea in 2011 to participate in the Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati.  I’m not a runner, but I can walk.  I walk every day … from the parking lot to my office building.  I walk with the family … at fairs, festivals and activities on weekends.  I can handle walking for 13.2 miles … without formal training … because I walk every day!  Pretty crazy, isn’t it?  Well, that was my thinking at the time.  But I showed up, and started walking before dawn that gray, rainy May day.  I saw friends at the 3 mile mark that had come to cheer for our group of walkers.  By the time I saw mile 6, I was near tears.  I did not expect the hills and inclines during the walk, and started doubting my ability to finish.  I condemned myself … “What were you thinking?  Whatever made you think you could do this?  You’ll never finish!”

So, what did I do?  I called a girlfriend in Virginia who had participated in long walking events and cried.  She encouraged me, told me she was proud of me for trying, and said to keep going.  I sent text messages to my mom, and received periodic messages asking where I was in the walk.   I reached out to those who could help me move forward, and 4 hours 7 minutes after I started, I actually finished the half-marathon.  I had blisters on one foot, pain in my hip & ankle from shifting my gait to avoid more blisters, but I finished.  My sister, who had completed the route as a runner, met me at the finish line and told me she was proud of me. While my Encourager’s may not have been with me physically, they helped bear my burden of doubt, provided encouragement, and kept me moving forward … one step at a time.

God may not be physically visible & touchable in our lives.  But He is still there giving us the encouragement, the strength, and the “YOU CAN DO IT” that we need.  Will you turn to Him for whatever challenges you face this week?

 

 Reading Assignment for Week 3: Chapter 3 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 2: The Commitment Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Beginning to Move Forward
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Stepping Across the Line
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice & Action Steps
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

 

Let’s Pray:

Lord, we have all tried to manage our lives on our own, and we’ve failed to do it in ways that fully honor You.  Show us through the week’s study how we can fully turn over all areas of our lives to You.  Your Word promises that we have already been given ALL blessings, so help us recognize daily where You have shown mercy on us.  You will give us the power, strength and desire to do all that’s before us, but we need to surrender to You first.  Thank you for loving us with a love that knows no end.  Amen.

 ************************

Power Verses for Chapter 3:

Romans 10:9

Matthew 17:20

Matthew 11:28-30

Psalm 37:5

Psalm 25:5

2 Corinthians 1:9

Psalm 143:10

Proverbs 3:6

 _______________________

If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

 

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Crazy Love: Week 2 – You Might Not Finish This Chapter pages 45-47

January 16, 2013 by

ARE YOU READY?

This question should get us thinking. I would like to think I would be like Stan, ready to meet Jesus with His name on my lips if these were my last words. But am I really? None of us knows how long we have here; God is the only one who plans that. We are not in control.

Now that concept makes me feel a little uneasy, being a bit of a control freak. I like knowing the next move; I like routine; I like everything falling into place. So I have learned over the years to roll with the punches and leave it in God’s very capable hands. When you have a husband or children, you know (or quickly learn) life is not always going to be set. You can make plans, but they sometimes have to be changed on the fly. I have learned this lesson the hard way at times.  Then again, it is somewhat freeing to know that we have a big God who has our steps counted out and has a plan for our lives. Especially when we think about lasting things.

Do we take every opportunity to share Jesus with people we know are lost? I’m guilty of not taking advantage of those times. Sometimes I’m in a hurry and think I don’t have the time. Sometimes it’s my own selfishness that hinders me; and other times it’s been because I worry what they will think of me, if they’ll think I’m some kind of crazy person.

About 10 years ago I worked at a “Coffee Cart” in our local library. It was just a small cart that served snacks, Latte’s and Cappuccino’s. It was tucked away in the back corner of the bottom floor of the library. I worked there for over 5 years til they closed down. During that time, I felt God giving me a new way to look at people. All walks of people came through the library. Most of them would stop and get a snack or something. I saw hurting, lonely people and my heart went out to them. So I prayed that God would give me boldness to share Jesus with them. I’ll tell you I was never so blessed in my life! I was able to encourage and share Jesus and sometimes they even let me pray for them! It’s so amazing how God works that out when we move ourselves out of the way and let Him take over. I don’t know if I left lasting memories of myself, and I don’t care. I just pray that they had an encounter with Jesus and hopefully changed their lives.

Have we taken the time to ask God to give us boldness in our everyday lives? To our co-worker who needs a kind word or to that waitress who is so tired and has had a bad day? How about our own family members who we know are lost?

Never in a million years would I think that one of my children, who was brought up in the truth, would not be serving God today. I have a 21-year-old son who has fallen away from God and chosen not to serve Him, at this moment. I haven’t lost hope though. I pray for him on a daily basis and trust God for his salvation. I also know it’s my son’s choice. He knows the truth. All I can do is pray for him, love him unconditionally, and leave little nuggets of Jesus in him every time I see him. He knows I pray for him, I’ve told him that. And I am the first person he calls when life gets tough. We have a good relationship in spite of his choice. I pray though that what he remembers most about his mom is that she loves Jesus. I want Christ to be my legacy. And someday I hope he will take it to heart and accept Jesus Christ for himself.

As Mr. Chan says on page 46, ” in fifty years, give or take a few decades, everyone we know will be gone.”

 

What will we leave behind?

In Christ,

Donna

Let’s Pray:

Oh God help us today to be bold, to see people as You see them. To love them with YOUR heart. Give us opportunities to share Jesus with someone and then let You work. For the glory of God. In Jesus’ name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

What kind of legacy are we leaving for the next generation to see? Would you be brave and ask God for boldness to share His message with people you meet?  He will give you the right words and people in your daily path if you just ask Him. Let us all know what you think you can do and then let’s pray for one another as we leave our legacies of faithfulness.

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Donna in regards to this blog, please email her at: Donna@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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Winning Him Without Words: Start When They are Young

December 12, 2012 by

Train up a child in the way they should go,

and when he is old he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

Raising a child can be a daunting thing, especially when we know that we are responsible to God for that little life! I know before I even conceived, I prayed for them. I prayed for them during my pregnancy. I asked God that He would guide me in raising them for Him. After they were born I prayed for wisdom to know them like He did and know how to raise them for His purposes. I felt so privileged to be able to do it, yet scared to mess it up!

I knew that God wanted me to start out showing them Him as soon as they were born. Even the youngest little person can learn to fold his hands in prayer. Children learn by repetition and imitation.  I remember doing this with them when they were just little toddlers of 2 or 3. Then they would also want to pray out loud too. Even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying, God did. And it was so cute!

You see, I think our faith should be lived out in every aspect of our lives, every day of our lives. Our kids see it, and they should. If it’s real, they will see it in every little area and all the things you do. I don’t think anyone, having encountered the Lord and come to the saving knowledge of Christ, can live a life that hides your faith. Your kids know that and see it from their birth. Children are very smart and perceptive. They know when you are sincere and when you’re not. They can spot a fake a mile away!

When my oldest daughter, Heather, was born, we didn’t have a television. We pretty much listened to Christian radio all the time. She learned all kinds of songs and stories by listening to the radio. And did she love to sing! She would go around singing them to her hearts content when she was playing outside or in. There were kid shows then on the radio like “Odyssey” in the evening. We had tapes (yes, cassette tapes!) with “Bullfrogs & Butterflies” that helped teach her, in kid language, how to become a new creature in Christ. We had videos (VHS!) of Psalty who taught her God’s word in song too. When she had a hurt or a scrape we prayed for healing and that God would take away the hurt. I read her numerous books about all the Bible heroes that taught her God’s word, like Daniel in the lions den. We bought her a Children’s Bible because she would see us reading ours and want one of her own. I was able to lead her to the Lord at the age of 3 because she understood by that age that she needed a Savior, I had taught her that. I believe that God speaks to children, no matter what age, if you bring them up to hear His voice. But I also believe that just living your faith in front of them makes the most impact on them.

There are so many things that you can do to start your children on the right path to God, you just have to look for them. And then pray for God’s guidance to implement them. He’s there waiting for us to ask for His hand, and He loves those little babies more than we do. Trust Him to do it and stand back and watch how these little ones respond to the things of God. It is amazing!!

Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives during this study. I pray God has touched you and helped you with your walk with Him and with your husbands. I have enjoyed sharing it with you.

In Christ’s love,

Donna

Let’s pray: Father we are so honored that you have given us the privilege of raising our little ones for you. I pray you guide us and direct our teaching so that our children will come to know you at  an early age. Give us opportunities to share your love for them often. May you open their hearts to your saving knowledge as soon as it can be taught. Thank you Lord for letting us do this. In Jesus Name Amen!

Your assignment: Share some ideas of how you shared Christ with your children when they were young to help them understand God and His word. We as mothers can use all the ideas we can get!

*****

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words – Prepared by God – Unanswered Prayers

December 5, 2012 by

GCH_Eph2_10

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission. Although He was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered and, once made perfect, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him and was designated by God to be High Priest in the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 5:7-10

Somehow, reading these verses, I feel strangely uncomfortable and comforted at the same time. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel uncomfortable when I read that God let His son go through trials and problems so much that He offered up prayers and petitions to his Father. I mean he WAS God, why did He have to go through that? On the other hand, I find myself comforted knowing that He went through trials, just like me! And now I can send up prayers and petitions, too. I don’t think He, Jesus, actually had to go through them; he could have been born and gone through life without one problem or trial. But He chose to be like us, to show us how to pray and be an example of how God wanted to prepare us for our own battles.

I love this paragraph in our study that Dineen wrote: “In our trials, we can look to Jesus and see the pattern of preparation, and perhaps therein lies our joy-in knowing that the Father loves us as much as He loves His Son and is preparing us for the destiny He has planned for each of us, and for our husbands.”

What trials are you going through, or have gone through, in your life and marriage that you can look and see the hand of God in the midst? Perhaps God has asked you to stay the course in your marriage through very tough and heavy circumstances. Maybe He’s asked you to show love to a man who acts unlovable, maybe he’s defensive and angry. Maybe you don’t feel loved by him, but God has called you to love him as He has loved you.

God has equipped us for these and any other situations that might be presented to us on a daily basis. Let’s look at some scriptures that bear out this very thing:

* 1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has seized you except what is common to man and God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NAS)

* 2 Timothy 3:16-17  All scripture is inspired by God and useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. (NIV)

* Ephesians 2:10  We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works which God prepared us in advance to do.

If we read these verses, and apply them, we know that not only is God preparing us, but He is equipping us for the battle, sometimes way ahead of it! Stay in the word, learn His way, and apply it to life. God does not say He won’t give us trials in this life.  He said we will have them, but He will help us and provide a way for us.  If the battle is short or long, He will be there for us.

We know that God hears us from the verse Dineen shared, Psalm 17:6  “I am praying to you because I know You will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray” (NLT), but do we really believe it? Sometimes it seems as though God is not listening. We pray and plead and send up our petitions and it seems we’re hitting a wall. We worry that He doesn’t see our situation or hear us, but because of His word, we know He does. So we wait….

I know I’ve talked about my son and his addiction to drugs and alcohol and  rebellion before, but let me just expand on it for a moment. Tristan’s rebellion started when he was 12. He suddenly became this angry, unhappy person I didn’t know. It went on a downward spiral of drugs, alcohol, and girls. He was soon more interested in partying than school, or life. He ran away a few times, screamed that he hated me on daily basis and moved out for a time when he was 17. He only came back because he was hungry.

During this time, we prayed and prayed and prayed. God probably got tired of hearing my voice!! But hear me He did!  When Tristan turned 19 things started to change. He admitted his addiction and got help. He tells me everyday that he loves me, whether in a text or by mouth. He is 21 now and a productive member of society. He hasn’t come back to the Lord yet, but I’m still praying for that. But because we were in the word and had an active Christian life, God prepared us ahead of time for the battle. I can look back and see how God prepared me and listened to me in the heat of the battle. It was part of His plan for us. God heard me!  His timing may not have been  my time, but He was faithful. I know He is hearing my prayers now; He’s proved it to me.  He is hearing you, as well!  Rest in that.

In Christ,

Donna

Let’s Pray:

God thank You for hearing our prayers and for preparing us for the battles You allow to happen in our lives. Help us to hear You, as well . May we stay as ever faithful to You, as You are to us. In Jesus’ name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

Let us know the battles you are facing in your marriages and let’s us be privileged to pray for you as we all face the battlefield.

***********************

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Lady in Waiting: The Man Worth Waiting For

November 30, 2012 by

“When you finally submit completely to God’s authority and come into complete obedience, that is when His blessings begin to pour out!!!” Beth Thompson

My lovely Aunt who I admire a great deal, had this quote posted on her facebook wall years ago.  When I read that it hit my heart!  I was just starting to come into complete submission with God and as I read this quote, my heart smiled because of the truth behind each and every one of these words!  I was seeing how faithful God is and experiencing His many blessings, and for once I was overwhelmed with joy and not fear or heartbreak!  There is no doubt that God will bless us richly when our heart is right with HIS and in HIS control.  One blessing that I am still holding out for is a man who knows my story and loves me still.

Just as you, I sometimes wonder why I am still single.  I think to myself everything in my life is going so well except for one little detail…I do not have a husband to share it with.  If we were honest with ourselves, would everything really be going so well?  We pray for the right man to cross our paths, but are we even on the right path to find that man?  When our hearts are right with the Lord, are feet will follow suite on HIS path.  We must get rid of the urge to settle down with the wrong man; the men that come wrapped in perfect packages but when unwrapped they prove to be empty.  The man we will find on the right path one day will be filled with the Holy Spirit in his heart.  The package will not even matter, just his heart being right with God will leave a lasting impression.

Please think about this for a moment.  Ask God to direct you to the right path.  Desire to see the unfailing handsomeness in the man God has for you and not be distracted by the fading looks on the outside. 

My sister is one very wise woman, she told me once that God is preparing me for my husband just as much as He is preparing my husband for me.  Maybe my husband is not ready yet to meet me.  LOVE THAT, DON’T YOU?  She has also told me once that I should be praying that God will open my heart to the man HE has for me and not the one that I think it should be.  OK, LOVE THAT EVEN MORE, DON’T YOU?  Thank you Kristen!

Please think some more about that advice.  Remember why you are waiting; God’s timing is the best; you have no idea where your husband is right now.  Just as we are becoming ladies in waiting, our husbands are being molded into OUR VERY OWN MR. RIGHT.  Wouldn’t you wait forever for that?  Pray that God would open your heart and eyes to the man He has planned for you; get rid of any personal ideals (B.B.B or T.D.H’s).

Do you even know the man you are waiting for?  Yes it is the man that will be your husband one day, but what other qualities will he possess?  Sit down and think about the characteristics given on pages 131-133 in the Lady in Waiting book.  Which of these do you desire in a husband?  Husbands are just people; their characteristics are what make them worth waiting for!

I want to leave you with this excerpt from one of my personal blog posts.  This is the man I am waiting for, I know him and most importantly HE knows GOD!  This is my heart’s desire for our relationship.

 We will make God number one, and live our lives completely surrendered to God’s plan and will for our lives. We will do great things all in the name of Jesus. We will worship, praise, love, honor, glorify, and spread Jesus to the ends of the Earth. I will have Jesus holding my right hand, and this man holding my left, and together we will be an example of true love that comes only from Jesus Christ!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I want to thank You for the many blessings that You pour out into our lives on a daily basis!  Your love is life changing and I pray each woman reading this blog experiences a new level of Your love today and every day forward.  I pray that she sees her future “husband” for what he truly is and waits patiently for the one You have planned.  Our hearts wait patiently for You, and they also wait patiently for our Mr. Right.  I pray that when the time comes, You show each of us the man You have planned for us.  I ask that You help each of us to submit completely to YOU and that we come to complete obedience to YOU.  Thank You Jesus for being all we need.  I love You so much!  Amen

You’re Assignment: 

You guessed it, please share with us what the man you are waiting for is like.

 

Love and Prayers,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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