November 23, 2024

Captivating: Chapter 5 – The Whole Story (A Special Hatred intro)

February 4, 2013 by

I can relate to Stasi’s story during the introduction of this chapter—not in relation to gardening—but to various other “assaults” in my life.  I can recall the first few events happening, words being said; in other words, the first few “hail stones” falling. I can recall watching the damage happening from afar but feeling as if I was powerless and couldn’t do anything. And I remember standing in the middle of the destruction, asking myself question after question. The loudest question being “Why?”

I am a firm believer in taking time in stepping back to look at the whole story. Taking the time to see all the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s and why’s of a situation.  It doesn’t mean that I am going to change my opinion of a situation or change my actions, but I like to know the whole story.  In school when we were told to read a passage, I would read some above and below that passage to get a better understanding. When I read a Scripture in the Bible, I do the same. I read a few more verses above and below the highlighted one.

Looking more into the story at either end can answer questions we are holding in our minds, it can clarify confusion, or bring a hidden part of the situation to light. When I’m reading, I like to find one or two things in the material that especially stand out to me, that touch my heart. Today it was these words:

“But, in order to understand the lingering doubts in your own heart regarding your femininity, in order to understand why it is so rare to encounter a truly alive and vibrant woman, you must hear more of the story.”

We must hear more of the story. While doing this can answer questions and help to reveal some of the unknowns, it can also bring to light things we have tried so hard to forget. I urge each and every one of us to be willing to look at more of the story—more of our story.  I take great peace in knowing that this journey may be tough at times, but the Author of our stories is walking along with us.

All who hate me whisper against me,

Imagining the worst for me.

Psalm 41:7 (NLT)

Read more of the story…

I know you are pleased with me,
for you have not let my enemies triumph over me.
You have preserved my life because I am innocent;
you have brought me into your presence forever.

Psalm 41:11-12 (NLT)

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, our stories are sometimes things we choose to hide. To step back and look at the various assaults in our lives can bring pain that we have tried hard to hide, and forget. As we see in Your Scriptures, Lord, looking at the whole story can bring peace and understanding; it can bring healing. Give us courage and peace as we walk these journeys, as we look more into the story to find answers for questions we have had for a lifetime. Thank You, Lord, for walking with us. Thank You for not leaving us to do this alone. In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

Looking into more of the story can be an intimidating task. What is your initial reaction on doing this? On looking at the whole story?

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If you are interested in joining this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you are interested in sending a private message to Tonya, please email her at TonyaEllison@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Captivating: Chapter 5 – A Special Hatred (Reading Assignment)

February 3, 2013 by

Happy Sunday, Ladies!

This week we will be reading and sharing on Chapter 5: A Special Hatred. We will be looking at the way the enemy fights so hard against women. In order to live the life that Jesus wants us to live, we must be aware that we have an enemy who is busy trying to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. Let’s stand up to this assault and really embrace this chapter.

 

Monday: Tonya – A Special Hatred (Intro)
Tuesday: Tonya – Further Assault through What is Really Going On Here
Wednesday: Carissa – A Special Hatred through On a Human Level
Thursday: Michelle – There Is Hope
Friday: Edwina – Weekly Review

LET’S PRAY:

Father, we stand in expectation for what You have for us as we begin week 5. If we are struggling, help us to let our fears go.  We know that the enemy is trying to steal our joy.  We strive to live completely in You and for You.  Show us the lessons we can learn, and grow us in ways we can’t even imagine.  In Your Name, we pray.  Amen.

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If you are interested in joining us for the “Captivating” Online Bible Study, please click HERE.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – The Transformation (Reading Assignment)

February 3, 2013 by

Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“God blesses those people who want to obey Him more than to eat or drink.  They will be given what they want!” (Matthew 5:6 CEV)

The hardest part for those of us who like to be in control of our circumstances (and lives) is surrendering ALL to His authority, and being willing to submit to EVERY change He brings to us.  John Baker starts Chapter 5 by describing how it’s against our nature to change our behaviors.  It’s so much easier to keep doing what we’ve been doing.  It’s been said that changing a habit takes around 30 days of consistent behavior to make it stick.  How many of us actually try for that long?  Here we are in February, how many of you are holding firm to the New Year’s resolutions you made?

The scars we bear from our life experiences did not happen overnight, and we cannot expect change to be rapid.  Over the past four weeks, we’ve been preparing our hearts and minds for the changes God wants to do in our lives.  He’s been working in us through this time, but it’s also been a time of preparation.  Romans 12:1, 2 says that we are to “be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT).

Do you take the time to read a passage in different translations?  Sometimes you can get more insight, clarification, and direction by what the various translations offer.  From The Message, we read the same passage in Romans, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your every day, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

How awesome is that?  God is helping us.  God wants the best for us.  He will change us inside and out.  Another promise of The Father we can hold on to when we don’t think we can keep on this journey.

Chapter 5 will discuss where our character defects come from, why it takes so long to get rid of them, and how we cooperate with God during this transformation process.  A key point for me in this process is to remember my identity in Christ, who He says I am.  Baker says, “Notice their identity is in their belief in Christ…they do not allow character defects to become their identity” (pp 133, 134).

Almost 17 years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  It’s a chronic pain syndrome that many don’t fully understand.  Even with almost 11 years together, my husband still doesn’t “get it” on many days, though he has learned to be more patient and tolerant of my episodes.  Pain, muscle tenderness, weakness and tingling are common place for me.  On a daily basis something hurts, usually my back, hips and shoulders.  But I also get tingling and swelling in my feet and hands; and fatigue…oh boy, do I get tired!  Some days I feel like I over-exerted myself the day before.  Other days, I feel like I’m battling the worst flu virus ever.  And, the only thing I can do is manage symptoms; there is no cure.  I have medications to take.  I give in to the afternoon nap.  I opt to sit as an observer than push my body in an activity I know I’ll regret later.  I get massages (much too infrequently) from a therapist who knows how to treat my body.  And, I try to enjoy walking as an easy, low-stress exercise for my body.  Keeping it moving helps keep it from tightening up even more.

Now, I know there are people with fibromyalgia who are truly affected more severely than I am, so this is not meant to disregard the severity of their situations.  Many are unable to work, enjoy activities, or function on a normal level.  I’ve never been affected so badly that I cannot “do life.”  I may not want to do something, but it’s a mental attitude not a physical limitation.  But what if I gave in to my pain and let it determine who I am?  If I focused on what I have, rather than who I am, how much different would my life be?  I might refuse to leave my bed.  I might quit my job because it’s just too much effort.  I might refuse to care for my family; instead asking them to tend to my needs.

But I am a person with fibromyalgia.  It does not have me.  Just like I am a child of Christ with sin, sin does not have me.  I have freedom in Christ.  And, it’s His freedom that also provides comfort during my fibro-flares (periods when it is worse).  It is His strength that pushes me through.  It is His wisdom that guides my doctors for management.  And, oddly, it’s a blessing in my life at times because the flares cause me to rest, and be thankful that my infliction truly isn’t that bad in the scheme of things.

So what defines you?  Do you believe you cannot change because it’s “just the way you are?”  Do you see yourself as the addict or victim?  Or do you see yourself as God sees you.

James 4:10 

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and he will lift you up in honor. (NLT)

Reading Assignment for Week 4: Chapter 4 of Life’s Healing Choices

Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 5: The Transformation Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss Why Does It Take So Long?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss How Do We Cooperate With God?
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

Let’s Pray:

Lord, so many times we view our scars and afflictions as bad things in our lives.  Help us to see these as tools used by Your Hand to change and transform us into the daughters You want us to be.  You desire only the best for us.  You gave Your very best to us in Your Son, Jesus.  Show us the defects within that keep us from freedom and peace.  Allow us to humbly bow to You wisdom and correction in this process.  Amen.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:

Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices – Chapter 4 Review

February 1, 2013 by
  • Realize I am not God
  • Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, that He has the power to help me recover
  • Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control
  • OPENLY EXAMINE AND CONFESS MY FAULTS TO MYSELF, TO GOD, AND TO SOMEONE I TRUST
  • V
  • E
  • R
  • Y

 

Matthew5_8

Wow, ladies, after this week I am so glad for that verse – “Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”   The thought that as my heart continues to be refined and purified, I will see God.  As I look around I see Him daily, in the clouds, the flowers, my sons, my work, songs, and in each post and response from all of you amazing women.  God is so good, isn’t He?

The first part of the week we talked about what guilt can do to us:  destroy our confidence, damage our relationships, and keep us stuck in the past.  But through all the guilt, shame, and regrets we may have from our past sins, as we cry out (like David) for God to create that clean and pure heart within us, He is always faithful to forgive and cast our sins as far as the east is from the west.  We begin to chip away at the junk that the past has built up within that heart.

I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)

And they shall rebuild the old ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. (Isaiah 61:4)

Tuesday, Leslie made this challenge: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?  Are you ready to Make time to begin your inventory? Are you ready to Open your heart and mind to allow the feelings that have blocked your healing and recovery then Rely on God’s grace to complete that healing He has for you?  Are you ready to Analyze your past, step out of your denial of the past and step into the truth of the present? Finally, are you ready to List the events of your past?  Please, please, please make sure you list both the good and the bad choices of your past.  We caution you to not just list the bad; there are good choices you have made that you need to list and praise God for those choices, too.

If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward. He forgives our sin and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. (1 John 1:9) 

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” (Isaiah 1:18) 

Wednesday, Kim shared how “more, much more than this” she did it her way, as many of us have and may still be trying.  However, there is a time to realize we cannot move forward until we let go of our past by confessing our past to someone else and to our Heavenly Father.  We need to have an accountability partner, someone you can trust and who understands what you are saying is valuable, as a treasure to be handled with care.  Someone who will not sit with their jaw dropped as you speak or gasp when you bear your heart.  And finally someone who knows the Lord, who will be your friend, as well as accountability and prayer partner.

I sought the Lord and He answered me, and He delivered me from my fears. (Psalm 54:4)

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus is calling us. (Philippians 3:13, 14)

Amy closed us out with praying for God’s help through this.  We need to armor up and tap into His power in order to “examine our ways and test them.”  When you begin to write your inventory remember five areas: the person whom you resent or fear; the specific actions that was related to that person; what cause – action effected your life both in past and present; the damage done to your basic needs (social, security or sexual); then honestly determine what part you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part.  We want to make a strong point in those areas of abuse – when you come to the area of what part did you have responsibility for –write NONE or NOT GUILTY – begin feeling freedom from the shame and guilt you have been carrying around with you. Finally, share those areas you wrote with someone you trust, that accountability partner or trusted friend.  This road is not to be traveled alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony….  (Revelation 12:11)

He is able to do abundantly beyond anything that we can think or ask. (Ephesians 3:20)

Ladies, as you are writing your inventory, this is an amazing journey to healing and freedom.  Our Heavenly Father wants to give you anything you can ask for and more.  This is not to be taken lightly as you have carried around these hurts, habits, or hang-ups for some time now.  It may not go away overnight; however know that He has already overcome the world (John 16:33).

I want to circle back around to “create in me a clean heart.”  Read on in Psalm 51, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  T

hen I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you

” (verses 12, 13).  Your journey of confessing your faults, taking time with the Lord, writing your inventory, and sharing with your accountability partner will restore your joy. And it could be such an encouragement for someone God may place in your path that needs to hear your story (His story) at just the right place and just the right time! You will forget the past and look forward to the finish line He has prepared for you.  As Leslie challenged us on Tuesday: Are you ready to take this step and transform your life?

 

 

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Let’s Pray:

Oh, Father, we come and sit at Your feet with humbled hearts.  You know we have made both good and bad choices.  Your word says be strong and courageous that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  Father, that is what we are asking, that You give us the strength and courage to follow through this step in chipping away at our past hurts or habits and sharing with a trusted person – one You have placed in our path. Thank You for each woman You have placed in this study; bless them Father.  Take away any guilt or shame they have or are feeling and replace that with the joy and peace that only You can give. We thank You for taking us on this journey and showing us Your incomparable grace.  We love You Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Pray first then begin writing and sharing your inventory.  Take quiet time with the Lord this weekend.  As you begin writing, go to our Facebook group and share with us a scripture God has shown you this week through this step.

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If you are interested in joining us for the online Bible study, click HERE.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog,

please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

 

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Captivating: Chapter 4 – Wounded Femininity – Unholy Alliance

January 31, 2013 by

Shame

Shame is a powerful word.  To me, it is one of those words that means so much more than the definition reveals.  According to dictionary.com, shame is “The painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.”  The painful feeling; yes, pain being the key word.  Many of us have had something unpleasant happen to us in our lives.  Something that makes us feel “less than”—less than what my family needs…less than what the boy is asking for…less than what God wants from me.  It is what we do with those feelings that define our outlook.

When we turn those feelings of “less than” into BELIEFS that we actually are less than, then shame is born.  God doesn’t want us to live in shame.  Shame makes us hide, makes us think that we are not worthy.  Not worthy of meaningful friendships, not worthy of voicing our opinions, not worthy of love.  We are not even comfortable in our own skin.  We are so worried we will get hurt again; we just pack ourselves away and play it safe.  This is a very lonely place to be.  As daughters of The King, we need to fight these thoughts that do not speak truth into our hearts.

Created for MoreAs Romans 10:11 tells us “As scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame.’”  This is the life He has for us if only we believe.  Some of us may have trust issues, even with God, but now is the time to change that.  Start praying today, right now, and ask God for forgiveness for putting your trust in yourself rather than in Him and then ask for His help.  He wants you to be free of any feelings of inadequacy.  You were created for more.  You are His creation.  No matter what you have done, no matter what pain you have endured, no matter where your thoughts have taken you, once you confess your sins He sees you as pure as snow.

As we read in Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson they shall be like wool.”  Let it go, my sisters!  Free yourself to live completely in the life the Lord intended for you.  This is my prayer for you.

LET’S PRAY

ABBA Father, thank You that You love us no matter what. Please forgive all our sins and, Father, please help us to forgive ourselves and overcome all the unnecessary feelings of guilt and shame.  Thank You for hearing and answering our prayers. In Your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Our wounds often cause us to feel shame and hide ourselves. Do you ever feel this? In what ways are you aware that you are hiding these days?

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If you are interested in joining this Online Singles Bible Study, click HERE.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

 If you would like to send Michelle a private email in regards to this blog post, you may email her at:  Michelle@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 4 – Make The Choice

January 31, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

Search usSearch me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life (Psalm 139:23, 24).

This week’s activities will bring memories to the surface that may have been ignored (or forgotten) for years.  But Jesus promised that the truth will set us free (John 8:32 NLT). So without further delay, let’s get started!

PRAY –

Dear Lord, it is so difficult to look within and admit our hurts.  We guard our hearts and deny the pain because it just hurts too much.  Look within us and guide us through this week’s activity.  Help us be honest with ourselves about the pains we’re hiding, the effects others have had on our lives, and even what we’ve done to others.  Our heart’s desire is to be healthy, to shed the negative emotions that hold us back.  We know that the only way to truly be free is to face our fears and find strength in You.  Give us the strength to discuss with our trusted friends.  Thank you for loving us through it all, no matter what.  Amen.

WRITE –

John Baker outlines on page 116 steps to working through our past hurts through a personal inventory.  You will need several sheets of paper to complete the inventory.  Because of the detailed instructions Baker provides, I will be using his descriptions for this step.

Using a piece of paper, create 5 columns and label at the top: The Person, The Cause, The Effect, The Damage, and My Part.

The Person – List the person or object you resent or fear.  Go back as far as you can.  Remember that resentment is mostly unexpressed anger, hurt or fear.

The Cause – It has been said that ‘hurt people hurt people.’  List specific actions someone did to hurt you.

The Effect – Write down how that specific hurtful action affected your life in the past and in the present.

The Damage – Write down which of your basic needs were injured.  Social: Have you suffered from broken relationships, slander, or gossip?  Security: Has your physical safety been threatened? Have you faced financial loss?  Sexual: Have you been a victim in abusive relationships?  Has intimacy or trust been damaged or broken?

My Part – You need to honestly determine and write down the part of the resentment (or another sin or injury) that you are responsible for.  Ask God to show you your part in a broken or damaged marriage or relationship, a distant child or parent, or maybe a job loss.  List the people you have hurt and how you specifically hurt them.

In 1973, I was a free-spirited 4 year old who didn’t have a care in the world.  I don’t remember much about this time, except for one thing—returning home with my mom, from a visit to my grandparents, to find our home empty.  I remember my mom going from room to room, and the confusion I felt as she looked through everything.  My dad had left.  Packed his things, and just left.  No word, no comment, no goodbye.

On my birthday in 1979, I was getting ready for a sleep over with a couple girlfriends when the phone rang.  My step-dad yelled up for me, “Amy, your dad’s on the phone.”  What?  What did he mean, “My dad’s on the phone?”  I hadn’t heard from my dad in 6 years.  I went to the kitchen to see my mom crying—the only time I’d seen her cry up to this point was because of my dad.  I picked up the phone, and heard the voice.  Yes, it was my dad.  I was shell-shocked, quiet, and I’m sure I must have been confused and angry, too.

I never realized the impact these events would have on my life until I was in my mid-30s.  I had superficial friendships, a desire to know-everything-and-be-perfect, and was facing my first significant depression.  I learned how guarded I was with my heart, because I was convinced that if my dad could leave me, certainly others (less vested in my life) would leave me too.  But if I proved to be invaluable with my knowledge, my skills, my talents…people would HAVE to keep me around!  I was miserable.  I was doing everything to please other people, to make them like me, and I ended up not liking myself.  Through this process, I had relationships that didn’t work (I ended them before they could so I would have control).  I doubted God’s true feelings for me (sure, He says He loves me but so did my dad). 

There’s so much more I could say on how this affected my life, but that’s not the real story.  Having the ability to put aside the hurt and realize that it wasn’t about me.  My dad didn’t leave because of me, and nothing I could have done at the age of 4 would have changed his heart or his mind.  He has his own hurts to deal with and I can’t do it for him.  What I can do is forgive him and move forward.  But I also need to release my misplaced guilt and shame … and truly embrace the truth, “It wasn’t about me.”

God blessed my life with an amazing man in 1976, my stepdad who was, for all intents & purposes, my “dad” for 27 years.  I walked beside him when I got married.  He cradled my daughter as a newborn.  I held his hand in his last days, and heard him whisper “thank you” (the last words he spoke to me).  The day that he passed into God’s glory, my father called me to give his condolences, and added, “I couldn’t have picked a better man to raise you.”  To this day, there is so much power in that phrase that I cannot even begin to express.

Just as those words from my father bring a peace to my heart, I can trust God, The Father, when He says He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:46).  I can trust that I am God’s child (John 1:12), I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10), I am free forever from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), and so many more of the promises found in His Word.

SHARE –

Take time with your trusted friend to go through what you wrote in your inventory.  The lists you created are no one’s business but yours, God’s and the person with whom you choose to share it with. 

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Power Verses:
1 Peter 5:10 NCV
Psalm 139:23, 24
John 8:32
Hebrews 13:46
John 1:12
Colossians 2:10
Romans 8:1, 2
Ephesians 2:10

Lord, thank You for being a loving and personal God who allows us to come to Him with our hurts.  You have adopted us as Your own children.  We know that nothing we experience is unknown to You.  Everything has passed through Your hands before we see it.  Help us work through our hurts in an open and honest way, to uncover those emotions & events we’ve been trying to hide for so long.  Jesus said that we will know the truth, and the truth will set us free.  We cling to this hope and ask for Your truth to shine upon us.  Thank you, Lord, for loving us as only a good Father can.  Amen.

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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Captivating: One Thing Is for Sure (Wounded Hearts – Passive Fathers)

January 29, 2013 by

Childhood. This word means so many different things to so many different people. To some it means pain…to others it means joy. It may even mean both.  We may have mixed emotions about our youth. We may not be able to identify what we feel.

Our childhood was different from the woman next to us. It was unique. The pain we may have experienced was ours, our wounds were ours. You may or may not be able to relate to the stories written in this chapter. But we can all write our own stories. Our own wounds and hurts.

“This is not Eden. Not even close.”

“You cannot be alive very long without being wounded.”

“Because we are the ones loved by God, the King of Kings, Jesus himself, who came to heal the broken hearted and set the captives free.”

These three sentences stuck out in my mind the most this morning as I read. The words are all too real. We do not live in a perfect world, and we all know hurt and pain. A good amount of this pain can be traced back to our youth. We can even trace the pain back to a specific event. Our world was, and still is, far from Eden.

To be honest, this topic is not an easy one to discuss and there is only one absolute that I know of.

Despite the wounds our fathers may have caused, despite the wounds formed in our childhood, there is one person we can count on to heal those wounds. To repair the hurts we have.

 God, the King of Kings, Jesus Himself

 

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

Psalm 147:3

 He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.

 

Here to heal the brokenheartedI don’t know what your childhood was like; I don’t know if this chapter touched areas of your heart that only God can repair. What I do know is that we all have wounds of some sort. And I know that only God, our Heavenly Father, can heal those wounds. No, we don’t live in Eden. And, yes, our world is a troubled place, ready to hurt at any turn. But rest assured that we have God on our side. The Bible states it clearly: He is here to heal the broken hearted, to set us free from the bonds of our wounds.

With Love,

Tonya

 

 

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,

We are wounded. These wounds are different for different people, but they are present. Thank You for being the Healer we desire, the Healer we need. Our world can be a painful place; hurts and hindrances are hiding around every corner. But You, Lord, are our Shield and our Strength. Thank You for healing our broken hearts, Lord.  Thank You for setting us free.  In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

 

Your Assignment:

I listed two Scriptures today. Is there a scripture you turn to when the pain of a wound is present? Is there a Scripture that brings you comfort. Please share these Scriptures—they may bless and comfort others.

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If you are interested in joining this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

 If you are interested in sending a private message to Tonya, please email her at TonyaEllison@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Captivating: Nature vs Nurture (Wounded – Mothers, Fathers and Their Daughters)

January 28, 2013 by

I think most women ask questions like this:

Why is this the way I am?

         What made me, me?

We wonder what influenced our behavior, our actions, our taste in men, the choices in the friends we choose. We think about things like this. I know I do.

I know that God created me, He formed me in His image, and He knows everything about me.

But what makes me do what I do? Think what I think?

Nature vs Nurture?

The nature versus nurture debate is one of the oldest issues in psychology.

Are our actions and behaviors determined before birth and driven by genetics? Or, are they directed by our experiences, what we went through as children and even in our adulthood?

I believe that both play a part, we are our parent’s children. Some of their personality traits were passed to us at birth, and what we heard, saw and experienced while growing up plays a major role in how we see and live life today.

My daughter will be 10 on January 31. I see so much of me in her is surprises me sometimes. My situation is special, like many other women in the world. I had my daughter at 18; her biological father chose not to play a role in her life. I was blessed with a husband who treats and loves my daughter as if she were his own. What surprises me more than how much of myself I see in her, is how much of my husband I see in her, and how much of  her biological father I see in her. Though one has been with her for almost her entire life and the other has not.

Through my own experiences I have learned that our fathers impact our lives in more ways than we can see, but I guess it didn’t become concrete for me until I saw this in my little girl.

It has been said before that single women have advantages over married women. More time to devote to God, without the responsibilities of motherhood and of being a wife. There is another advantage that I didn’t realize until after I became a wife and a mom, is that I had the time to pray for myself and my future family. Prayers for a Godly husband and father for my children, prayers for myself to be a Godly wife and mother to my children; I pray these prayers daily for my family now, and I see God moving in great strides, but I encourage you to start now.

Pray for the influence you will have on your future children, or pray for the influence you have on the children you already have.

Biggest ImpactOur fathers made a mark on our lives, some of those marks were better than others. But our Heavenly Father has the biggest impact of all. Remember that despite the happenings of our childhood (good or bad), God created us in His image, and with His heart.

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

There are times in our adult life where we sit back and wonder how we became who we are today. What influenced us, whether it be good or bad? Our mothers and fathers were chosen to be our parents for a reason. They influenced our lives as children, and we grew to be the beautiful women we are today. Thank You for being the biggest influence in our lives.   Thank You for giving us Your heart. We may have questions about our life, why questions, hurts You can only heal, but we know Your hand is on our life. We know that despite the question of nature vs nurture that God is the ultimate designer of and influence on out life.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Your Assignment:

I know that our childhood can be a sensitive subject. Have you ever wondered what influenced your life, or who influenced your life? Have you ever thought about your past and questioned the influence your mother or father had?

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If you are interested in joining this online Bible study, please click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

 If you are interested in sending a private message to Tonya, please email her at TonyaEllison@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Captivating: Week 4 Reading Assignments

January 27, 2013 by

I hope everyone is enjoying the book.  Can you believe we are already entering the end of our first month?  I hope you are all able to take some time for yourself and read the chapter each week.  I can tell you, as a blogger, we love to see and hear your comments.  It’s good for the heart!  This week we are tackling Chapter 4: Wounded.  Sound’s a little intimidating doesn’t it?  I have no doubt that we will hear a good word for ourselves and be able to grow and heal through the process.  Lean on each other to help those wounds heal well!

WEEK of JANUARY 27 – Chapter 4: Wounded

Monday: Tonya – Wounded through Mothers, Fathers and Their Daughters

Tuesday: Tonya – Wounded Hearts through Passive Fathers

Wednesday: Carissa – Mother’s Wounds through The Messages of Our Wounds

Thursday: Michelle –  Wounded Femininity through An Unholy Alliance

Friday: Edwina – Weekly Review

LET’S PRAY

Father we stand in expectation for what You have for us as we begin week 4. If we are struggling, help us to let our fears go.  We know that You love us with an amazing love.  We strive to live completely for You.  Show us the lessons we can learn through our wounds and grow us in ways we can’t even imagine.  In Your Name we pray.  Amen.

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If you are interested in joining us for the “Captivating” Online Bible Study, please click HERE.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you fruther details.

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Captivating: Chapter 3 – (Pgs 56-59) Indulging – Eve’s Lingering Fear

January 24, 2013 by

Ladies, have you ever had that feeling that something was just “meant to be” or you just know that there is a reason God orchestrated something to happen?  Well, that is how I felt as I read the section of the book I am blogging on today.  If I wasn’t made to talk about this subject, I don’t know who was!

Yesterday Carissa talked about hiding our true selves.  The problem with hiding is that is doesn’t make the problem go away, it doesn’t ease the ache.  It just isolates you and, more often than not, causes you to turn to other methods to ease the pain.  We call them indulgences.  I love what the Bible calls them in Jeremiah 2:13—our “broken cisterns.”  These cisterns are different for every person.  What is yours?  Where do you tend to turn when things get tough?  When your emotions get too much to handle?  Food?  Shopping?  Alcohol?  Internet?  Television? Drugs?  The list could go on and on.

Yes, all of these things make can us feel better.  The problem is that it is a temporary fulfillment.  After a few minutes…a day…a week…the pleasure goes away and that ache is still there.  That is because we are created to be fulfilled by only one thing—the love of God.  Until you start turning to God to fill the empty places, you will never find true peace.  You may not think what you do is a big deal, that it’s harmless.  So I had a piece of cake; so my credit card bill just got a little higher; so I spent a night zoned out in front of the tv;  so what’s the big deal?  In my quiet time with the Lord this morning, I read this in my Bible and I immediately thought how perfect it is for today’s blog: It’s easy to slip into a quiet rebellion – going about your life in your own way.  But the time comes when you have to choose who or what will control you.  The choice is yours.  Will it be God, oryour own limited personality, or another imperfect substitute?

I speak from experience.  For many years I turned to food as my “broken cistern.”  It was my medication, it was my comfort, it was my love.  I was a compulsive overeater AND a bulimic.  I tried so hard to control my circumstances through food.  What a horrible idea!  As I neared 300 pounds, I knew something needed to change.  It was my focus.  I stopped focusing on the problem and the food and I started bringing it to God.  When I wanted to binge, I prayed.  When I was upset I turned to God instead of the kitchen cabinets.  In no way am I saying it is easy, there were many tears shed and angry words uttered in the process, and it is still an ongoing process, but after losing 90 pounds, and faltering along the way, I can say, without any reservations that turning to God instead of my indulgences made the life changing difference for me.  He is always there for us, no matter how far gone we think we are, no matter what decisions we choose.  The good news is that, according to Ezra 9:9, “God has not deserted us in our bondage.”

Are you in bondage?  If you need to make a change, what does that change look like for you?  Remember, it doesn’t need to be a “major” indulgence that keeps you from God, the enemy works in the little things, too.  These substitutes will never resolve the deeper issue in our souls.

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LET’S PRAY

Father, we come humbly to You today to ask for forgiveness.  We have turned to things other than You for comfort.  We have tried to ease our pain with worldly methods.  We know that You are the only answer.  We know You are the only one who can take our struggles away and give us the love and comfort we desire.  Thank You for the grace and forgiveness You offer every time we falter.  Give us the strength to turn away from the easy fix and to fix our eyes on You.  We ask this in Your Heavenly Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are your broken cisterns?  Where do you turn other than God when the stress gets to be too much or the pain is tangible?  If you have overcome these issues share some practical strategies with us.

 

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If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you with further details.

 If you would like to contact Michelle in regards to this blog, please email her at:  Michelle@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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