November 24, 2024

Lord, Teach Us to Pray – Week 8


Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray!  Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — “Teach {me} to pray”?

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray.  I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who delight, yearn, love to pray to their Father!!!  This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….”

Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

Pray, therefore, like this:

Our Father

Who is in heaven,

hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,

and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

And lead (bring) us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of  importance—”Who is in heaven.”  This attribute tells of the utmost importance of God Who is in heaven.  And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.

Then we came to the third aspect, as we followed Jesus’ instruction,— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.”  And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where Almighty God is described as holy: we saw the Psalmist proclaim that ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed  ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’  What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

After that we looked at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important—‘Your Kingdom come.’  We considered the question, “What is the Kingdom?” by focusing on just two ways to understand what Jesus meant.  The first connotation that “Kingdom” has refers to the eternal Kingdom.  And then to understand “Kingdom” in another way, we looked specifically at Matthew chapter 13  where Jesus spoke in parables and used tangible examples to help His disciples (and us!) to understand the importance of having the Kingdom established in our hearts.  He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him.

The following week we focused on another aspect of Jesus’ instruction: ‘Your will be done.’  It is Almighty God’s will that we are to be concerned about…not our own.  We considered scripture after scripture and saw our Lord’s constant example showing that it was not His will that was important but His Father’s.  If it were ever possible for anyone to justifiably state and act on their own will, it would have been Jesus; true?  Jesus always desired His Father’s will, always sought His Father’s will, always purposed to know His Father’s will so that He always did His Father’s will.  And what did we find was His Father’s will?—salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ.  We were assured that at the very foundation of God’s will lies our hope, which is salvation through Jesus leading to eternal life.

And the next week we studied the phrase ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ from the perspective of our Lord’s life and ministry.  In John 6:38 we read that Jesus came down from heaven not to do His own will but to do the will of His Father on the earth.  Jesus was always the perfect example to His disciples, and of course, to us.  We, too, can live with that same heart as Jesus did.  God has promised to lead us, to guide us, to show us His Will.  We looked at a number of promises that God has given us regarding our knowing His will.  Jesus, Who knew His heavenly Father like no one else did, desired to do God’s will.  God’s perfect will.  He simply and clearly taught His disciples AND US to do the same. 

Last week we considered the phrase, “Give us this day our daily bread.”  We recognized that Jesus IS the ‘bread of life.”  We looked at John chapter 6 where Jesus spoke repeatedly about this.  We clearly saw Jesus’ heart of compassion, wanting them (and us!) to live forever by partaking of the Bread of Life—Himself—and receiving that blessing.  We also looked at  Jesus’ instruction that if they would pray, “give us this day our daily bread…” they would be humbly acknowledging that their heavenly Father already KNEW what their needs would be that day.  For us, just like Jesus’ disciples, it is when we recognize our immense need for God’s provision that we step back from trying to accomplish it (whatever ‘it’ may be for that day) and let the One Who has so much to give to us provide so perfectly for us!  Let’s remember: Jesus answered their plea to teach them to pray, and in the midst of that instruction, He directed them to pray, “give us this day our daily bread.”  Then, He gently reminded them that God already provided that daily bread for them!  (AND for us!)

Here in week eight, we are focusing on the next direction Jesus gave as He taught His disciples (and now us!) to pray.  It is the request to “…forgive us our debts.”

In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus addressed the issue of forgiveness in two different ways.  The first occurrence is recorded in verses 21,22:

“Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?  Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!”

Oh boy!  Can’t you just picture Peter’s jaw dropping?  I’m thinking that is not exactly the answer he imagined the Lord would give him, right?  But that was, and is, our Lord’s response.  Nothing has changed.  We, too, are to forgive “…seventy times seven…”  (In other words, just keep on forgiving!)

Jesus goes on to give further clarification and direction to Peter along with the other disciples about this important issue of forgiveness.   We are going to look at verses 21-35; you can either open your Bible, or follow this link to read this entire record.  <http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018:23-35&version=AMP>

Jesus tells quite a story in this parable!  He hold nothing back in communicating that forgiveness, or the refusal to forgive, is an issue of the heart.  See how He portrays the king towards the man who owed him much money.

“And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt” (verse 27).

Wow!  This king was owed over 10,000 talents.  A talent was an amount of money used in Jesus’ day and time.  Biblical scholars do not agree on the total equivalent in today’s monetary value.  I’ve seen it quoted in the range of $10,000,000 to $3 billion.  But we can say with certainty that 10,000 talents was a vast amount of money to owe.  The king had every right and reason to imprison the man for his failure to repay.  He didn’t; he forgave him the entire debt out of a heart of compassion.  This is forgiveness.

As Jesus continues, He depicts this man (the servant) now going to his fellow attendant and demanding what was owed to him.  It is NOT with a similar attitude of forgiveness that he addresses his peer.  Rather, it is with a hardened, merciless heart that he refuses to forgive and, instead, he (the original, forgiven servant) has the man (his fellow attendant) thrown into prison until he can repay this small debt.

The record continues as we see the king (the master) call the first man back to him, and chastise him for being pitiless and merciless toward his fellow attendant.  The king then does have him thrown in jail because of his contemptible attitude and lack of forgiveness to his fellow attendant.

And then Jesus clearly states His second point.

“So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses” (verse 35).

God through Christ has forgiven us for so, SO much!  And He compassionately, mercifully, and lovingly continues to forgive us as we repent and ask.

Colossians 2:13,14

And you who were dead in trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your flesh (your sensuality, your sinful carnal nature), [God] brought to life together with [Christ], having [freely] forgiven us all our transgressions,

Having cancelled and blotted out and wiped away the handwriting of the note (bond) with its legal decrees and demands which was in force and stood against us (hostile to us). This [note with its regulations, decrees, and demands] He set aside and cleared completely out of our way by nailing it to [His] cross.

Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So.  <3

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This week, in our study A Daughter’s Worth, we have been focusing on family relationships and their importance in our growth as Christians.  Forgiveness is a foundational need among family members.  We have so much need to be continually forgiven, as well as we must extend much forgiveness to our parents and siblings.

Ask yourself:  ______ (insert your name here), how much worth do I have if God has so graciously and mercifully forgiven me for my sins?  How much worth do I have if  Jesus was willing to die for me so that I could have forgiveness of my sins?   <3

“…Forgive us our debts….”

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Lady In Waiting: Quitting the Hunt

Do you absolutely love this book yet??  I love it even more the second time around!  There is just page after page of truth, encouragement, and love.  The words I have searched for…there they are written on the page so matter of fact-ly.  With Jesus first and my boyfriend second, I will have lasting peace and security.  I absolutely love the wisdom behind each one of Debby’s words.  You may think this quote does not work for you because you do not have a boyfriend so there is no possible way you can be putting a boyfriend first before God, you are all good.  That is so WRONG!  For me, I do not have a boyfriend, but I can so easily see how I put the hunt for my boyfriend and eventually husband way above Jesus.

When we do this it may seem harmless, or impossible to stop.  There is something so important about truly putting God first: you receive his lasting peace and security.  Maybe if we have been feeling insecure lately, we can look at where we are finding our security.  Chasing after men will never lead to security or peace.  Those gifts from above are only available when we surrender the hunt to God and start chasing after all HE has for us!

Reading through Debby’s journal entries I felt quite convicted.  I have so gotten to that point in my life where all I could do was pick up the pieces of my broken heart and hand them over piece by piece to My Perfect Healer.  I too, have asked Jesus to keep my heart safe, guard it, keep the key, and give it to only the one who He has for me.  I made a pact with God that I would seek HIM first and when a man came along I would pray to Him alone to see if this would be the man to hold the key to my heart one day.  I was doing so well with this until I was about to turn 24.

The closer and closer it got to my 24th birthday the further and further I got away from that perfect security God had given me.  I wanted to be married by the time I was 25…there was no way now that this was going to happen because I am single at 24.  We all have our ideal futures, don’t we?  Please, tell me I am not the only one that had an idea of how they were going to meet their husband, how they were going to start dating, how he would propose, how they would be happy and married one day: sooner rather than later.    Has your ideal future ever come true?  I am here to tell you, unless your ideal future is completely in line with God’s future for you; it is never coming true.  You can stop wishing and hoping for something so miniscule compared to what God has for you: THE BEST YOU NEED.

Just so happens instead of a man, this study came into my life right after my 24th birthday.  This study has truly helped me through a struggle: a struggle of putting the hunt for my non-existent boyfriend over God.  This study was what I needed and what you need and God knew that!

This study is instrumental in keeping my focus on God and not on my husband.  It has helped me seek God more often.  It has helped me to find support from other ladies that are struggling with the same exact thing as me.  It has brought me closer to God.  It has made me realize that my ideal future is NOTHING compared to the ACTUAL future God has for me.  I am on a mission to embrace HIS future.  Where is your mission leading you: to YOUR ACTUAL ALMIGHTY GOD or to your ideal man you thought of one lonely night?

I want you to understand something as I write this to you ladies.  The reason I feel convicted is because I may have given God my heart, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it back from Him on several occasions.  It does not mean I do not struggle with being single and 24!!!  There is one image I see daily that almost always is a struggle to see.  A man and a woman holding hands walking together, sometimes her head is rested on his shoulder, but it doesn’t have to be just the hands in one gets me.  You see I have always wanted to hold hands with a man-my man.  When I see others doing what I want so badly to do I instantly think, “Lord, why can’t I have a man holding my hand as I walk down the street?  I am learning that I can have that man but I can also have the man God has for me.  I am waiting oh so patiently for the man who will one day be holding my hand in one and the key to my heart in the other.  As a lady in waiting I pray that YOU do the same.

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Let us Pray:  Lord, thank you that you give us so many blessings on a daily basis.  Thank you for your blessing of security that we find in you alone.  I pray that each and every one of us will be able to put down the ideal man and chase after receiving your many blessings.  I pray that we are able to support each other along our journey.  I thank you and praise you for bringing this group together.  I pray that you help all of us to be patient, waiting for your perfect timing in our lives.  We love you so incredibly much, Amen!

Your Assignment:  Please share with us-What is ONE THING you have learned/ gained from this study thus far?  What is the ONE thing that you see from couples that you struggle with on your journey as a lady in waiting?  In your quiet time-Pray to God, be honest with Him.  If you are ready give Him your heart.  If you are ready make a pact with Him about what you are going to do or not do to make sure God is put first, always.

Much love to you ladies,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

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Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 3 – Parents Make Mistakes

“For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. Yep, this means our parents, too. Most of you teens are still at the age where your parents provide clothes, food, a house, etc. for you. This is part of their calling, but I think we place them on a pedestal because of it.

 

We have to remember that they are human, too. They were once children, dependent on their parents. This means that they may forget some things. It means they may not always react to your behavior in a kind way. It means you will not always see eye to eye. Parents make mistakes. You make mistakes, too.

 

How would it make you feel if your parents didn’t forgive you after you messed up? Your parents probably feel the same way when you don’t forgive them. Showing them grace, understanding that they are human, honoring their decisions will change your relationship with them.

 

Let’s pray-

Lord, thank You for our parents! Forgive us, Lord, when we do not show them the grace You have shown us. Remind us that they are human. Remind us that they are becoming more like You every day. Give us a pure heart that loves them unconditionally. Amen

 

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Lady in Waiting: Manipulation and Maneuvering

 

This post is going to boil down to two questions:

1. Are we trying to maneuver and manipulate situations to our benefit ourselves?

2. Or, are we turning our situation over to God and trusting Him to send us the man (job, friend, etc.) He has chosen for us?

 

I find it interesting that we as women will go to many extremes to get what we want.  These extremes are not always manipulative, nor does it involve us “crawling across broken glass” to reach what we want. But nonetheless, we are willing to get very creative when we want something we can’t instantly get our hands on.

I can relate to this because I am a “now” person. I see something I want and I want it now. There are a lot of times where I have to step back and look at the situation, I have to step back and pray about the situation; I need to ask God questions like “do I need this”, “is this for me?” and before I met my husband I had to ask “Is he for me?”

Manipulation is a form of control.

We feel that we can lead a situation in a direction that will benefit us in the way we feel it should.

Our motives may be pure. Simply to position ourselves to better our chances at the attention we seek. Whether this attention is from a man, or an attempt at securing a better position at work, or catching a deal at a store, the bottom line is that with this manipulation and maneuvering we are trying to gain control but we are also trying to take the control from the one person who has the power and desire to work on our behalf.  We are trying to take the control away from God.

Again the two questions we need to ask ourselves: Are we trying to maneuver and manipulate situations to our benefit ourselves? Or, are we turning our situation over to God and trusting Him to send us the man (job, friend, etc.) He has chosen for us?

God wants to bless us, he wants to give u the desires of our hearts, but we have to turn the control over to Him, and trust his timing.

Psalm 84:11

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly

So what do we do in these situations? What do we do when we want something or someone and we don’t have a clear path to that thing or person? Like the authors of the book said, instead of maneuvering the situation we are to do nothing. Give it to God. Be the person He created you to be, we continue to bless those around you as we are commanded to do regardless of the attention it may or may not generate. We trust His time and His plans. And we must pray.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Let’s pray:

Dear Lord,

Thank you. Thank you for having our lives planned out since before we were even born. At times we try to control situations around us; we try to make them work for us. Please forgive us for forgetting that you are working on our behalf and that you have already touched the situation and that it will play out to our benefit.  When we are facing situations in which we want to manipulate the control, please touch our hearts and remind us that you are in control, remind us to bless those around us, because that is what you designed us to do.

In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

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Your Assignment:

Let’s journal today. Lets look at situations in our life that we may be trying to maintain or gain control from God. Journal about it, you don’t have to share this part, but look around and see if there is a person you can focus on blessing rather than focusing on the situation you want to change. Please share this part. This lesson came at a great time of the year, we can turn our situation over to God and our control over to God and we can bless others.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Winning Him Without Words: Let’s Have a Word

The tongue can bring death or life;

those who love to talk will reap consequences.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

The verse for today really intrigued me, so I looked it up in the NAS version of the Bible. It sent me to two other verses:

Matthew 12:37  “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” and also Proverbs 13:3  “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”.

They are all equally a warning to us. The truth is we must speak our words carefully. Not only for ourselves, but also for the ones we love. We have the ability to tear down or build up those whom we love on a daily basis. I know this for a fact, as I grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot of building up.

In my home, as we grew up, there weren’t a lot of positive, encouraging words spoken. In fact, most of what we heard was very destructive to my life. I suffered self-esteem issues as a teenager and even into adult years. I never trusted anyone to really love me for myself until I met Jesus. When I met the Lord, I never knew anyone could love me unconditionally.  He had a lot to teach me!  But, as a result of my home life, I also suffered from depression and thoughts of suicide during the tumultuous teen years.

I also met my husband at a young age, too. Between him and God, I learned what real love was. Ronald seemed to genuinely love me through all of it. He was a rock for me and proved it over and over with words of love and encouragement whenever he could.  He made me feel I was worth something.  I didn’t always receive them; in fact I doubted them a lot!  But he meant every word he said!  He stuck with me through that time and is still here 35 years later!!

I also read a lot of scripture then and tried to focus on that.  I know that we really need to realize when, how, and what we speak because words touch us in ways that can be good or bad.  Things we say in anger can really hurt our husbands and loved ones.  I am a testament to that. Our relationships are shaped and nurtured through our words.

My son, who has gone through alcohol and drug abuse when he was a teen, said that had we not told him every day that we loved him and were praying for him daily during that time, he would not be here. We spoke life and healing words to his soul as often as we could, and I believe I still have my son because of those words.  That is how God speaks to us.

What words does the Father say to us that we can hang onto and speak to our spouses?

*Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that He knows us and has a plan for our lives!

*1Peter 5:7  Tells us to cast our cares on Him for he cares for us affectionately and watches over us.

*Romans 5:8 Tells us that even when we still in sin God loved us and Christ died for us.

* Psalms 62:8 Says trust in Him and we can pour out our hearts to Him because he is our refuge.

* Psalm 147:3 Says He heals the broken hearted and binds up our wounds.

* Psalm 103:8 God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

*Psalm 103:13 Says God shows us compassion just as a father would.

These are words form our loving God and Father! He speaks life and love to us throughout His word. Can we be any different? Unfortunately I am sometimes.  Matthew 12:36 says that “we will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken”.   That should give us pause to think before we speak.

I try, and often fail, to speak words of life and love to my husband everyday. I even text him throughout the day to let him know I’m praying for him. It’s an easy thing to do, so why don’t I do it all the time? Ladies can we purpose today to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands? It benefits him as well as us. It shows him you love him and are concerned for him.  It builds him up and in turn you are built up, as well.  That can only benefit your marriage if you build one another up.  And it gets easier the more you do it!

Like Lynn, I want my words to speak life and healing.  How about you?

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Let’s pray:

Lord we thank You for the gift of words. We thank You that You love us through Your word. Help us to always speak life and healing to our husbands and shut our mouths when we are tempted to tear them down. Give us the right words at the right time to say. Thank You for being our example of what words can do. In Jesus name-Amen

Your Assignment:

I’ve already texted my husband and told him how much I appreciate his working hard and for the provision for our family. I know that is important to him.  What life words can you speak specifically to your husband, whether in a text, phone call, note, or even right to him, that will build him up and make his day? Comment below and show us how we can do the same.

I pray you all will have a life building day!

Donna

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Winning Him Without Words: A Transformed Life

Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then  you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NLT)

We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives. This is especially true with our husbands. A simple forgotten errand or a refusal to help with household chores could start World War III in our homes. Maybe you have experienced this – the hurt, the pain, the resentment, the bitterness, the anger. It eats away at you. And when these emotions take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you. He cannot transform you.

Jesus is a gentleman. He is not going to force His way into any part your life. If you want to live with the negative emotions, you can. But, He does not want you to live there. He wants you to live an abundant life in your marriage. He wants you to have a beautiful, loving marriage, just as He intended back in the Garden. He wants that for you so very much.

But, my dear sweet friends, He cannot help you if you do not let Him.

Transform, Transformed (v) – to change the outward appearance of; to change in character or condition.

Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband. That is not an easy thing to swallow. There are not too many of us that enjoy change. It is difficult and scary. And this type of change is made more challenging because it will cause us to look at how we are acting and reacting to the situations and events in our lives and in our marriages. It will shape us and refine us and strip us of what we are desperately holding onto (remember those negative emotions?). This change will cause us to look at our daily battles in a new light.

And this change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.

I know some of you may be reading this and thinking that you cannot get past the hurt, anger, or resentment that have been building up for years. I just want to tell you, and this goes for whether your husband is a believer or unbeliever, God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU. It starts with you laying down all of the hurt at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to take over. Ask Him to show you what you can do. He will convict your heart through the Holy Spirit. He will teach you and mold you and shape you into the woman He designed you to be.

The question is: Are you ready to let Him do it?

Let the transformed life (and marriage) begin!

*****

Let’s Pray:

Father, today, right now I (insert your name) give my marriage over to you. I believe that You can transform me and my marriage into something amazing Lord and I trust you with all of it. Please give me a sense of peace and security as I begin this journey with you, Lord. Burn away anything that is not of You and fill me up completely with your Holy Spirit. Convict me of anything that is not pleasing in your sight. Show me how love my husband the way You love him, Lord, with an unconditional love. Provide me with strength and courage in Jesus name, Amen!

Your Assignment:

Taking the step to begin living a transformed life is not easy. It means doing everything differently. Did you pray that prayer and invite Jesus in to transform your marriage? How do you feel? Do you feel a change can happen? Comment below and tell me your thoughts. Then come over to the Secret Facebook group and let’s dig a little deeper into how we can transform our lives in a practical way.

Many Blessings on your day,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 2 – Children Must Obey

I have to admit something.  I was born with a rebellious spirit.  Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older.  I am the firstborn.  I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all.  They could have those boys back!!!  I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers.  (sigh)  Mom said, “Go help your brother” and you KNOW what was going on in my mind.  (No need to put those words here)  You know what they were.  If they broke something, I got in trouble.  If they cried, I got yelled at.  Can you believe I still remember that stuff?  It really doesn’t matter anymore.  We are all grown-ups with families of our own.  But still, Mom said help and I helped.

I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer.  Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer?  I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list.  I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license.  I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM.  Somehow things never worked out the way I planned.  I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car.  I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it.  Hmmm.  Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should?  Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?

Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this:  discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors????  Who’d a thunk it???  When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do.  I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to.  A mom they could talk to and ask questions of.  I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.

My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9.  It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me.  I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.

So I tried to do everything RIGHT with my girls.  I tried to answer all their questions; even the hard ones.  I took them to church, taught them to serve and then one day my oldest daughter went off to college.  We sent her off to discover life for herself, with godly discipline and character behind her.  And then…we were disappointed.  There is a reason Solomon tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”  Even though I had taught my daughter the best way I knew how, she had to learn life lessons on her own.  I had to love her enough to let her learn the hard way.  I asked her if she would like to share some things she learned during that time in her life.  Her name is Michele and she will be 23 in December.  Here is what she had to share with you guys:

I think I was a little different than most teenagers.  Starting at 13, I understood my parents reasoning behind the rules, and that probably saved my life.  Most teens go through a phase where they feel like their parents don’t know anything about the teenager’s life and what they’re going through, so they must not know what they’re talking about.  As a result, they’ll stray a bit and rebel against their parents rules, maybe go to church less often or not at all.  My time of rebellion was once I graduated high school and moved away to college.  Because I was insistent on doing my own thing and thinking I knew best, God was not at the top of my priority list.  I hardly ever thought about Him or asked his opinion.  When my parents asked if I was going to church on the weekends, my excuse was “I don’t have time.”  Of course I didn’t have time, because I didn’t make time.  You make time for things that are important to you.

Ok, so about obeying your parents…you obey because God has commanded you to.  In fact, the first commandment in the bible with a promise attached to it is Exodus 20:12.  “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  Sounds to me like that’s kind of important.

If your parents are Christians, you obey them knowing they are striving to teach you what is right and want the best for you.  No parent is perfect, just like no teenager is perfect.  The way to deal with that is to LOVE.  This is my biggest thing lately.  Love your parents enough to see their intentions and forgive them when they make the wrong choice in how to deal with something.

If your parents are not Christians, there is always a chance that the way they are leading is not in line with God’s law.  What do you do then?  Just blow them off and have a bad attitude, treating them like they’re stupid?  NO!  According to Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to authority.  In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says your first priority/responsibility is to love God with everything in you.  So, God’s commands are MOST important.  And the second is to love others as yourself (or as God loves you).  The key to obeying the rules, laws, and commandments is to Love God and Love People.

If your parents are asking you to do something you believe is wrong, you still must respect and honor them, but you CAN tell them how you feel.  If you are following God and respectfully informing your parents that you do not agree and don’t feel comfortable doing what they have asked.  If you are in line with the Bible, then you have fulfilled your responsibilities.  But you must ALWAYS respect authority.

<3 Michele Bolme<3

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!  So when Solomon said that if I taught my daughter right, gave her discipline and showed her how to live like Jesus, then one day when she walked away to do her own thing, she WOULD return to God because she LOVES HIM.  I am one thankful Mom.  Now only 7 more daughters to go. (sigh, sigh and sigh some more)

Much love to you all……………………  Mama T

Pray with Me:

Heavenly Father, we know you love us and that you discipline us because you love us.  We thank you for loving us enough to give us parents who want us to grow up with a good character and a love for YOU and for other people.  Please forgive us when we get distracted and don’t put you first.  Keep loving us until we come back to you.  Father, I pray for each heart reading this blog today.  Make their hearts soft and ready to serve you.  We love you Abba, Father.  Amen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 Day 1 – Families Sometimes Struggle

Ummm…girls can we be real with each other, like really real with each other-especially in this chapter of our book.  Nobody comes from a perfect family.  As much as the idea of living in a huge home with a white picket fence around it appeals to each and every one of us; truth-be told if you took down the walls of that house: inside it wouldn’t be all roses and gumdrops!  NO WAY and can you imagine if it was, you would never have a need for God now that would make for one sad and lonely household.

One thing I have learned from trials in my own family is that when they come (and trust me they will) they make me realize that I need God on a moment by moment basis.  If we went through life without pain how would we know joy?  If we went through like without feeling hopeless how would we know the amazing feeling of hope that comes from God alone?  Family trials are not intended to destroy us or break our families apart; they can be used to grow closer to God and for us to come to terms with the fact that we always need Him.  The Lord is here for us, he desires to help us.  Do you believe that today?

Hebrews 4:16:

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Do you understand this verse?  Sometimes I think back to my teen years and remember not fully understanding most of what I heard in church.  Let’s break apart this verse and try to figure out why it is so important to seek GOD alone in our struggles with family.

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  How do we come boldly to God?  We do this when we pray.  We think of the requests we have.  I know when I was your age I prayed a lot that my sister and I would get along.  I prayed that my brother would not be mean to me.  I prayed that my parents would not argue as much.  These prayers did not seem like a big deal.  I did not expect anything to come from these requests.  When we pray to God, when we seek Him for help, we must be bold.  We must not be afraid to share with God exactly what is on our minds or hearts.  After all, God already knows what you are thinking so do not be afraid for one minute to approach God with your requests.  This is not just anybody we are approaching here-it is God and more than that it is our GRACIOUS God.  The one who gives generously and the one who loves to hear from us.  When you have a trial in your family first bring your requests boldly and with confidence to our gracious God who loves you so much!

There we will receive his mercy.  Mercy is compassion or forgiveness.  When we turn to God with confidence we are turning to our Friend.  As our Friend, God has compassion on us and He forgives us for all of the times that we mess up big time.  If we so freely receive HIS forgiveness for the times we mess up big time (lying, not being kind, raising our voice, disobeying our parents, etc.) shouldn’t we do the same for our family members and everyone else for that matter when they hurt us?  The answer is yes just so you know.  Trust me, I know this is not an easy task.  When we are in the middle of that long drawn out voice raising battle with our parents the last thing we want to do is forgive them for the hurtful words said.  Do not be discouraged if this seems impossible.  When we come to God and share with Him our hurt, it is God who then helps us to show mercy to that same person who hurt us.  We know how amazing God’s forgiveness is, and we should desire for others to experience His forgiveness too.  When we choose to forgive them, they are able to experience a sliver of His forgiveness!

We will find grace to help us when we need it most.  Grace and mercy go hand in hand.  God’s grace though is one of the absolute coolest things.  I do not know if you know this or not but when we mess up and God loves us still-that is His grace at his finest.  How many times have you gotten into a fight with your parents?  When you are in the fight the last thing you are thinking is you love each other.  BUT after hours or days you realize you really do still love one another.  Well, kind of the same thing with God: except God loves us no matter what, it does not take him hours or days to come around, he loves us in the moment, no matter what that moment may be.  Because God loves us that much and because He is in that moment with us, we have access to His help instantly.  You are not alone.  God is waiting patiently for you to seek Him for help.  He will always help you.  This is a promise from God.

As I said earlier, trials in our families will come that is certain!  It is up to us to let God in to help us through each trial.  I encourage you to share this post with your family today.  I encourage you to make a pact to one another that when the messes in life happen, that you will vow to live out this verse by seeking God first for help to have mercy and grace for one another.  God blessed you with each one of your family members to do life with.  Let us thank Him for their purpose in your life and make the most of the days you have to spend together!

Let’s Pray:  Lord, I thank you so much for family.  I thank you for giving us whoever we have in our families to love and be there for each other.  I thank you that we can turn to you when we need you and you will always be there for us!  I am so glad that you hear us when we pray to you.  Let us remember to seek you for help and remember to offer others grace even when we feel they do not deserve it because you offer us grace every day!  We love you so much!  Amen.

Love you girls!!

Diane

*****

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Lady In Waiting: Lady of Security – Feelings of Insecurity

Then he [Boaz] said, “May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter.

You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:10-11).

I am in awe of the words that Boaz said to Ruth.  You can hear from his words that he is sincere and honest.  Furthermore, he is a man of integrity who did not want to take advantage of Ruth but to do right by her.  Don’t you think this man is worthy to bring home to meet your parents?  You will be rest assured that you will be secure in his love for the rest of your life.

Girlfriends, ever since we were young girls we long for security.  We placed our security in our parents to provide for us a loving, nurturing and stable environment as we grow up and discover our place in the world.  When we are ready to move out of our parents’ home, we want to make sure that we get married to someone who will love and cherish us, who will provide for us and continue to give us the security we need.  However, the reality of our lives is far from what our heart desires.  Many of us have found ourselves hurt and broken because those whom we placed our security and lives into have not met our expectations; instead they have taken us for granted.

There are so many things that cause one to become insecure and lose hope.  I cannot tackle them all here but I will discuss two of them, namely loss and disappointment.  When we lose loved ones like Naomi and Ruth did, it’s so difficult to believe that your tears and sorrow will one day turn to joy and you will find another person to love again.  Naomi’s loss caused her to feel insecure in God’s love for her; this was shown by her bitter expressions when she returned home to Bethlehem.  She asked her relatives to call her Mara instead of Naomi.  Loss brings with it doubt and despair.  Naomi hoped that she and her husband would grow old together and see their great grandchildren.  But her husband and sons died before this could happen.  She never expected that her dreams would end in tragedy and loss.

Unlike Naomi, Ruth reacted differently, she did not allow Naomi’s bitterness to rub off on her, she could have stayed at home with her mother-in-law and joined in the pity party but she knew this would not help them in any way, they needed to eat and food was not going to come on its own.  Ruth did not go out to seek a man to provide for their needs.  Instead she set out to work in order to find food for both Naomi and herself.  Through this act, Ruth found a man who would show her how to smile again, Boaz.  Ruth had found security in the God of Israel before she met Boaz and the same God took care of all her needs.  Through Boaz and Ruth’s marriage, Naomi also realized her dream of grandchildren.

Another cause of insecurity is disappointment.  As women young or old, single or married, we have gone through situations that have left us so disappointed, we just want to dig a hole and hide.  The father who promised to love and provide for us declares to our mother that he longer wishes to stay married, as such he seeks divorce and leaves us behind and never keeps his promise to come and see us, birthdays come and go without a call or a card in the mail.  We grow up, we meet the perfect guy who promises us heaven on earth takes away our most prized possession and leaves us for our best friend.  How about the woman who discovers that the man whom she married, who pledged to love and cherish her is nothing but a drunkard, and abuses her at every chance he gets.  How does one keep sanity in such circumstances and not lose faith and become so insecure and manipulative in order to have her way?

There is only one answer to all these situations, no matter how hard life becomes! I can only become a Lady of Security when I place my trust in the one who will never leave nor forsake me.  His name is JESUS!

Girlfriends, Jesus is the answer to all our insecurities, He alone can turn our mourning into gladness, our sorrow into joy, our mess into a message.  In Isaiah 61:1-3 our beloved Saviour says:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

Beloved, in order to be secure, we need Jesus to be the centre of our lives.  He should be the constant in our lives because He never changes – “He is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  He is telling us to go to him with our insecurities and lay them at his feet.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, I come to you with all my insecurities, I have been hurt and wounded by others and I have placed my security in the wrong hands.  I realize that you are the security that I long for.  Take my pain and hurt away.  I exchange my ashes for a crown of beauty, turn my mourning into gladness, I also trade my spirit of despair for a garment of praise.  Thank you Jesus for calling me an oak of righteousness.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Look at the things most important to you, the things on which you spend the most of your time and energy (e.g., appearance, money, career, family, friendships, dates). If these were taken away, how would you be affected?

Security is basing one’s life on that which cannot be taken away. Are you building your life on what makes you secure or insecure?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!