November 5, 2024

16 Day Love Challenge – Chapter 2: Love is Kind

November 5, 2013 by

Luke 6 35

Kindness.  Just seeing the word makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it?  It makes you smile.  If I asked you to share a time when someone was kind to you, what comes to your mind?  We read at the beginning of Chapter 2 that “Kindness can be described as having the qualities of being friendly, generous and considerate.”  But is it really that easy or simple?  Let’s not dismiss this attribute as elementary, sisters.  We are challenged at the end of the chapter to ask God to show you where you have been unkind.  If you will, take a moment now and ask God; “Lord, am I truly and consistently kind?  To everyone?”

When we look in the Bible, there are MANY directives given to be kind or show kindness.  We see in Galatians 5:22 that it is one of the many fruits of the Spirit—evidences that we are being led by the Holy Spirit in our daily lives.  In 2 Peter 1: 5-9 we see that kindness is one of several qualities that will help us to be more effective and productive in our knowledge of Jesus.  In Ephesians 2:6 and 7 we are told that “God raised us up with Christ” in order to show us the “incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” We are directed to be kind to women, children, the poor and the oppressed, so there must be more to kindness than just being “friendly.”

When I looked up the word, “kindness” again, I saw the same definition—friendly, generous, considerate.  Then I looked up the word “kind.”  The fourth definition was “forbearing or tolerant.”  Here we go… here is where we are shown the difference between just opening the door for someone and truly taking on the nature of God.  In Luke 6: 32-35 we are shown a challenging passage that, like our passage in 1 Corinthians 13, exemplifies the true actions of a loving person.

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.
And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ do that.
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you?
Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’, expecting to be repaid in full.
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back.
Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High,
because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. (NIV)

In preparation for this blog, I started the 16 Day Love Challenge a little early. Even as I was reading about patience (yep, I need to work on that…), God was convicting me about “kindness.”  He showed me two areas that needed improvement—how I spoke to my husband and how I dealt with customers at work.  Now don’t get me wrong, I try very hard to be a submissive, loving, supportive wife (AND a godly, cheerful, positive person at my job!).  But with my husband, sometimes I can be…critical. <Ugh. Anyone out there with me?>   There are times when, instead of seeing and recognizing what my husband does right, I pick out the small detail that is not to my liking and make some kind of comment about it.  Often, after it comes out of my mouth, I think “Why did I say that???”  Well, for the past several days I have been HIGHLY aware of what comes out of my mouth, because those little, tiny, nitpicky things have a tendency to wear someone down.   (And you know what, sisters?  We reap what we sow.  Do you have relationships that have a problem with criticism?  Do an honest check to see what you are sowing into it….) Not only have I tried to bring every thought under submission to God, but I’ve been happier…as has my husband.   I work part-time at a cute shop in town that sells cupcakes, and it can get rather busy.   I am the only person that works during my shift, and so a line to the door of often impatient customers can raise the stress level a bit.  There are many times when a customer wants to take a LONG time figuring out what just the right cupcake will be, and wants a description of the ingredients/frosting/sprinkles, etc. for every cupcake!  (Did I mention the line of customers behind him/her is to the door?  And they are being audibly impatient?)  Needless to say, I have a tendency to then become impatient and try to rush the customer along.  Is that showing love to that person?  NO.  I am being neither patient nor kind to those types of customers.   So I prayed to be more loving (patient and kind) to the difficult customers that came in the door.  It made for a much less stressful shift!

Let’s accept the challenge to exemplify “kindness” today – not only to those that are kind to us, but especially to those that are not!  If we do, our “reward will be great!” (Luke 6:35)

Let’s pray:

Kind father, THANK YOU for loving me!  Thank You for your blessings, and for every good and perfect gift that comes from You, especially for Your Son Jesus, and the hope we have through Him!  Show me where I can be kinder to those around me, and help me today to show the true love of Jesus in my actions.  Help me to give kindness as generously as You have given it to me.  In the name of Your Son we pray.

Amen.

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Lady in Waiting: The Man Worth Waiting For

November 30, 2012 by

“When you finally submit completely to God’s authority and come into complete obedience, that is when His blessings begin to pour out!!!” Beth Thompson

My lovely Aunt who I admire a great deal, had this quote posted on her facebook wall years ago.  When I read that it hit my heart!  I was just starting to come into complete submission with God and as I read this quote, my heart smiled because of the truth behind each and every one of these words!  I was seeing how faithful God is and experiencing His many blessings, and for once I was overwhelmed with joy and not fear or heartbreak!  There is no doubt that God will bless us richly when our heart is right with HIS and in HIS control.  One blessing that I am still holding out for is a man who knows my story and loves me still.

Just as you, I sometimes wonder why I am still single.  I think to myself everything in my life is going so well except for one little detail…I do not have a husband to share it with.  If we were honest with ourselves, would everything really be going so well?  We pray for the right man to cross our paths, but are we even on the right path to find that man?  When our hearts are right with the Lord, are feet will follow suite on HIS path.  We must get rid of the urge to settle down with the wrong man; the men that come wrapped in perfect packages but when unwrapped they prove to be empty.  The man we will find on the right path one day will be filled with the Holy Spirit in his heart.  The package will not even matter, just his heart being right with God will leave a lasting impression.

Please think about this for a moment.  Ask God to direct you to the right path.  Desire to see the unfailing handsomeness in the man God has for you and not be distracted by the fading looks on the outside. 

My sister is one very wise woman, she told me once that God is preparing me for my husband just as much as He is preparing my husband for me.  Maybe my husband is not ready yet to meet me.  LOVE THAT, DON’T YOU?  She has also told me once that I should be praying that God will open my heart to the man HE has for me and not the one that I think it should be.  OK, LOVE THAT EVEN MORE, DON’T YOU?  Thank you Kristen!

Please think some more about that advice.  Remember why you are waiting; God’s timing is the best; you have no idea where your husband is right now.  Just as we are becoming ladies in waiting, our husbands are being molded into OUR VERY OWN MR. RIGHT.  Wouldn’t you wait forever for that?  Pray that God would open your heart and eyes to the man He has planned for you; get rid of any personal ideals (B.B.B or T.D.H’s).

Do you even know the man you are waiting for?  Yes it is the man that will be your husband one day, but what other qualities will he possess?  Sit down and think about the characteristics given on pages 131-133 in the Lady in Waiting book.  Which of these do you desire in a husband?  Husbands are just people; their characteristics are what make them worth waiting for!

I want to leave you with this excerpt from one of my personal blog posts.  This is the man I am waiting for, I know him and most importantly HE knows GOD!  This is my heart’s desire for our relationship.

 We will make God number one, and live our lives completely surrendered to God’s plan and will for our lives. We will do great things all in the name of Jesus. We will worship, praise, love, honor, glorify, and spread Jesus to the ends of the Earth. I will have Jesus holding my right hand, and this man holding my left, and together we will be an example of true love that comes only from Jesus Christ!

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Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I want to thank You for the many blessings that You pour out into our lives on a daily basis!  Your love is life changing and I pray each woman reading this blog experiences a new level of Your love today and every day forward.  I pray that she sees her future “husband” for what he truly is and waits patiently for the one You have planned.  Our hearts wait patiently for You, and they also wait patiently for our Mr. Right.  I pray that when the time comes, You show each of us the man You have planned for us.  I ask that You help each of us to submit completely to YOU and that we come to complete obedience to YOU.  Thank You Jesus for being all we need.  I love You so much!  Amen

You’re Assignment: 

You guessed it, please share with us what the man you are waiting for is like.

 

Love and Prayers,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Travel The Road of Forgiveness

November 20, 2012 by

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Bitterness, resentment and anger over unmet needs. These are all kindling for unforgiveness and I have gathered them all. When someone does something that hurts me, I am unable to tell them. Confrontation is too difficult for me. I am a “nice” person and a “nice” person does not argue or complain. That is unless you are my husband. When he does something to irritate me, I’m all about letting him know about it. It’s that “word” thing again! My mouth opens like a flood gate and all sorts of “you should’ve known better” and “you don’t care about me” accusations come bursting out. In the world, people say releasing that anger is cleansing. But not me. After I lose my temper I am left with feelings of guilt. I know I shouldn’t act that way and I am embarrassed of my actions. That guilt turns into resentment towards my husband because if he hadn’t made me mad in the first place, I wouldn’t be feeling so lousy now. So I stay angry, resentful and bitter and can’t even fathom forgiving my husband for making me angry.

Ugh. How exhausting that kind of marriage can be. So to change this endless cycle I have had to pray, and I’ve had to pray HARD because forgiveness is hard! When you feel jilted your human instinct is to get even, it’s the insult for insult, eye for an eye mentality. But God doesn’t want you to act like that. He wants you to give it to Him!

Especially when you are trying to speak with your unbelieving spouse. I recently had a discussion with a friend who is an unbeliever. I was astounded that he truly does not believe in God and I know he was just as perplexed with my views. It makes it very hard to have a civil discussion when both sides believe so strongly in their views, doesn’t it? Insulting, angry words will be tossed around, tempers will escalate, feelings will get hurt. Things may be said that are very hard to forgive. And like I said above, forgiveness is hard, but not if you ask God for his help. Turn to Him and tell him of your hurts and ask Him to help you forgive your husband. By turning to God you are given the power of the Holy Spirit and through Him you can do all things! Even forgive!

When you forgive you gain freedom. Freedom from the hurt feelings, freedom from the frustration and anger. He takes it all from you and leaves you free to just love your husband as he is, because after all, that is what God wants us to do. He doesn’t want you to worry about your unsaved spouse anymore. Leave that to God & be your husbands fine linen rope.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, forgiveness is a hard thing to do, but we know how important it is, not only for a healthy marriage, but also for a healthy mind and body. Unforgiveness can eat away at us like a cancer if we let it. Reveal to us Lord the areas of unforgiveness in our marriage and help us to give them to You. Help us to heal from the past hurts and replace that pain with the feeling of freedom! In your precious name, Jesus, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Below I’d like you to talk about an area of unforgiveness in your marriage that  you may be holding onto. We will all pray with you to release it to God!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Are We the Sweet Aroma of Christ, Or the Stench of Death?

October 31, 2012 by

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those perishing. To one we are the smell of death, to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?”

2 Corinthians 2:14-16

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I had an Aunt that I loved to hug when I was a child. She always smelled like Lillie’s of the Valley. Her aroma was always so sweet to me, not only because of her perfume, but she radiated love to me. She always showed love and attention to me when I was with her. She made me feel special and that I mattered to her. Her love was genuine and I could sense it, smell it and see it every time I was with her. I want to smell as sweet as my Aunt did to me.

I don’t know about you , but when I get ready for a special occasion, or a date with my husband, I take time to put on special lotions and perfume. This part of our chapter really spoke to me. I never once gave a thought, before now, how I “smell” as a christian! But God wants us to know we give off an aroma to our loved ones, be it death or life. WOW! It is really an eye opener to me to know that.  I know that I can speak life or death to my husband, but what do I smell like when he is next to me??

Does he see me living out my faith as the aroma of Christ? Does he something in me that he longs for in the deepest depths of his soul? Or does he see an ugly example that turns him off?

I agree with Dineen when she says she gets excited because the verse uses the present tense of the verb, “those who are being saved”. I love that because it gives us hope that God’s work in our spouse, or loved one, is NOT done. It is an ongoing process, continual. He hasn’t given up on them. As we pray for our spouses we can be assured that God is still working on them , even if we don’t see anything changed in them. On Page 89 Dineen says, “According to Paul, God may have put us where we are because we are to be a key factor to our spouse’s salvation. We may be one of the tools God is choosing specifically to use in bringing our loved ones to Him. God may have called us to this exact place at this exact time.”   This just gets me so excited!! First that God would use me, just a wife, mother and grandmother, but I love God and I want my whole family to know and love Him. Second it excites me because I don’t ever have to give up, God is always working!! God has placed us in our loved ones lives for a purpose. That purpose is the privilege of showing them Christ!  What an honor!

From now on I will pay close attention to the aroma I’m giving off, not only on special occasions or a date, but everyday life. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be the aroma of death, stinky, decaying, rotting, death? Or do I want to give off the sweet, loving, breathtaking aroma of Christ?” I choose Christ.

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Let’s Pray:

Lord I pray for myself and all the beautiful women involved in this study. Help us to give off your aroma to our spouses and loved ones everyday. Let them notice it and long for that aroma for themselves. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of your plan of salvation in their lives. Give us strength and life to pass along to them and bring it to fruition we pray.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Your assignment:

What kind of fragrance are you giving off to your spouse? Is it life giving or death? Share and tell us, if it’s the wrong one, How you plan to change it through Christ.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: To Know and Be Known

October 24, 2012 by

But the man who loves God is known by God.

1 Corinthians 8:3

 I admit it, I have struggled with writing from this part of our book this week. to be honest, I don’t know what it’s like to be married to an unbeliever. But I do have a son who is unsaved and it breaks my heart. I suppose it is not on the level with my husband, but it is a heartbreaking situation. I also have other loved ones that are unsaved as well. There are women in our church that come every week without their unsaved husbands and as our women’s ministry head, I need to know how to relate and help them. I know God lead me to this ministry and to this book. As my friend tells me, God is stretching me!
The one thing that really struck me in this part of our chapter today was when Dineen says: Do I want my husband’s salvation more than I want Jesus? WOW!! That speaks volumes. I can apply it to anything in my life, not just my husband. Anytime we desire something, even if it is something we know God is ok with, if it is overtaking our thoughts and life, it is a barrier between us and the relationship we could be having with Him. Wanting our husbands to be saved and to be known by God is a good thing. But when did God step back, let us take over the reigns of our lives and give us permission to be Him? God is a gentleman and will not force himself on anyone.
I struggle with trying to play God in my son’s life. I try giving him books to read, pleading and fretting over his spiritual state. But I also try to do this with my husband too. If I think he is missing something God has given me, I try to spoon feed it to him, ( or shove it down his throat! ), When what God really wants me to do is to grow and learn and enjoy this thing He has given ME to draw closer to him. Let God take care of the rest-Husband, son, and other unsaved loved ones.
My greatest desire is to have ALL if my loved ones saved and on their way to heaven with me. But, honestly, I do want it in God’s timing, then it’s real. I have to know that God is working on them and He will orchestrate the exact right moment in time for them. He loves them so much more than I do. I want to be ready for that. For the time being I need to work on two things: to know God and be known by God-for me. I never stop praying for my son and he knows it. But as I grow and know God the more I reflect that, hopefully they see it and are drawn to it because they see God in me. That’s the only thing I can do. I need to let go of the control, NOT the desire, for the ones I love to come to the Lord. Otherwise, I am making that the forefront and an idol. (OUCH!) That’s wanting my loved ones salvation more than Jesus, and God won’t honor that.
Pg 76 Says: Amazingly, when we put God first in out lives our deepest needs are met. Oftentimes, the needs are ones we didn’t even know we had. and the beauty of it all? In God’s presence we are known from head to toe – our thoughts, our needs and even our dreams.
That says it all!!
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Lets Pray:

Father we know you Know us but we are desiring that our Husband s also be known by you. We also know you want that as well. Lord help us to step back and do your work as only you can do. we love you Lord and are willing to leave them to you. Let our greatest desire, the salvation of our loved ones, be your work and yours alone. Thank you God that you aren’t willing that any should perish either and that you have that right moment waiting for them. Guide us this day to do your will. Thank you for answered prayer. In Jesus name, Amen.Your Assignment:

Search your heart and look at those things, and people, that hold us back from letting go and letting God take over. Name them, if you can, and let us all pray for one another over it. We need each other, and we need to pray for one another; it is a strong bond in the Lord with our sisters in Christ. Let’s collectively reach out to God together and raise the roof of heaven with these desires and God will hear us. Where two or three are gathered in His name………

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
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Winning Him Without Words: Bring on the Bedroom

October 17, 2012 by
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5
I’m just going to reiterate some of the things written in this part of our chapter:
* This verse, like Lynn says, is God’s perspective on intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is a gift from God, something that we share only with each other. Created by God for marriage.
* It is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for husband and wife.
*We need to make the effort.
Let’s face it when we got married all we wanted to do was make love, for the first few months that’s all we do! But then life gets in the way and intimacy goes on the back burner. We have children and jobs and we get tired after dealing with these things all day. This part of our marriage is important to both of us and we shouldn’t neglect it. That being said and so as not to re-write everything that was written in our study, I want to share with some practical  things with you so you can enjoy and anticipate this vital part of your marriage, making it fun as you do!
The first thing I would have you do is pray! This is important because it puts things into a biblical mindset for you and also gets your heart in the right place.
When I first got married a friend of mine, who had been married for some time, gave me this advice that someone had given her when she married. Write down all the things that attracted you to your husband when you first met and married. It may not all be physical. Just all the good qualities and things that made your heart melt at the sight of him. Then go back and read it often and especially when you know it’s been awhile and you need to be reminded. Then think on those things!
Text him at work or call and leave a message of love for him on his phone. Sometimes I leave a little sticky note in his lunch box for him to find.
Buy a new negligee once in awhile and wear it on a night when it’s least expected and surprise him. I guarantee he will be in the mood!
Make reservations at a restaurant you both like and take him out on a date. Date nights are usually planned by us; so be as creative as you can. Dress to the nines!!
A picnic in the country or at a park you like to go to, just the two of you.
Fom Christi:  There is a candle that I will suggest to you, also.  It’s a Woodwick Candle.  It actually has a wood wick, so when the wick is lit, it crackles while it burns, making it sound like a mini-fireplace!! 🙂  Use this candle, especially if you have children, as a signal to your spouse that you are interested in making love with him that night.  BOTH of you can use this candle in this way!  Light it earlier in the day, so it gives each other time to prep and get the kids taken care of, before that special time alone.
On a grander scale here are some things you can do that I have found are very nice, whether it’s your  anniversary or a special occasion or just because:
I kidnapped my husband once. A week ahead of time I made reservations for dinner and a hotel in the town where my husband works. Then I had a friend drive me to his work and drop me off at his car. I was dressed in heels and his favorite dress and smelled wonderful! I looked GOOD!! When he came out to his car and found me there he was so shocked. I took over the wheel of the car and drove us to the hotel where he showered and changed ( I had packed a bag for him). We went to dinner and just enjoyed being together and the night!!! It was great fun for both of us!
We usually go somewhere for a couple days for our anniversary every year. It usually in our home state, so we don’t go too far, staying at a B&B. We find lots of unique places and it’s something we plan together months in advance and look forward to.
We also make sure to take a weeks vacation together, just the two of us every summer. We plan ahead and make it special by doing something we individually like together for a day. He likes sports, I like shopping. So we each get to enjoy it together. I can handle it for one day and so can he.
Every five years or so we attend a marriage seminar of some sort. It refreshes you and reminds you to think of your marriage as a priority, And they usually touch on the subject of intimacy too.
Let’ face it, day to day life is sometimes boring and we can let that leak into our sex life as well. Plan ahead and think of your husband. Anticipation is the key for us. God intended for us to be intimate, and it’s a very special part of our marriage. Let’s try to keep it alive and well. God says it is good and we should enjoy it!!!
If you are interested in more Date Night / Romance ideas, and you belong to our Facebook Discussion Group, please check the Files section of your group!  There are a ton of great ideas in that section of our your group!
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Lets Pray:
God thank you for our spouses and our marriages. Help us to keep intimate with you and with each other. I pray that we would purpose to keep the intimate part of our marriage alive and well and honoring you. Remind us daily of our love for our husbands. Help us to be creative and loving in our planning for these times. Thank you lord of the gift of intimacy  with our husband. In Jesus name-Amen.
Your assignment:
I have shared a few things that I have done to keep our love alive in our marriage. What things, without giving too much detail, can you say you’ve done or are planning to do to help this part of your marriage to stay alive and well?  Maybe we can steal some of those ideas for ourselves!!!
Many Blessings,
Donna
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If you would like to join this Online Bible Study and our Facebook discussion group, Please click on the “sign up” button at the top of this page and follow the instructions. We will add you as soon as we receive your request.
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Resolution for Women – Weekly Overview “Fulfilling My Husband”

September 7, 2012 by

Happy Friday!!!  🙂

Here is this weeks video blog!! 😉

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Have a GREAT Weekend Everyone!

See you on Sunday!

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