May 4, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Start When They are Young

December 12, 2012 by

Train up a child in the way they should go,

and when he is old he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

Raising a child can be a daunting thing, especially when we know that we are responsible to God for that little life! I know before I even conceived, I prayed for them. I prayed for them during my pregnancy. I asked God that He would guide me in raising them for Him. After they were born I prayed for wisdom to know them like He did and know how to raise them for His purposes. I felt so privileged to be able to do it, yet scared to mess it up!

I knew that God wanted me to start out showing them Him as soon as they were born. Even the youngest little person can learn to fold his hands in prayer. Children learn by repetition and imitation.  I remember doing this with them when they were just little toddlers of 2 or 3. Then they would also want to pray out loud too. Even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying, God did. And it was so cute!

You see, I think our faith should be lived out in every aspect of our lives, every day of our lives. Our kids see it, and they should. If it’s real, they will see it in every little area and all the things you do. I don’t think anyone, having encountered the Lord and come to the saving knowledge of Christ, can live a life that hides your faith. Your kids know that and see it from their birth. Children are very smart and perceptive. They know when you are sincere and when you’re not. They can spot a fake a mile away!

When my oldest daughter, Heather, was born, we didn’t have a television. We pretty much listened to Christian radio all the time. She learned all kinds of songs and stories by listening to the radio. And did she love to sing! She would go around singing them to her hearts content when she was playing outside or in. There were kid shows then on the radio like “Odyssey” in the evening. We had tapes (yes, cassette tapes!) with “Bullfrogs & Butterflies” that helped teach her, in kid language, how to become a new creature in Christ. We had videos (VHS!) of Psalty who taught her God’s word in song too. When she had a hurt or a scrape we prayed for healing and that God would take away the hurt. I read her numerous books about all the Bible heroes that taught her God’s word, like Daniel in the lions den. We bought her a Children’s Bible because she would see us reading ours and want one of her own. I was able to lead her to the Lord at the age of 3 because she understood by that age that she needed a Savior, I had taught her that. I believe that God speaks to children, no matter what age, if you bring them up to hear His voice. But I also believe that just living your faith in front of them makes the most impact on them.

There are so many things that you can do to start your children on the right path to God, you just have to look for them. And then pray for God’s guidance to implement them. He’s there waiting for us to ask for His hand, and He loves those little babies more than we do. Trust Him to do it and stand back and watch how these little ones respond to the things of God. It is amazing!!

Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives during this study. I pray God has touched you and helped you with your walk with Him and with your husbands. I have enjoyed sharing it with you.

In Christ’s love,

Donna

Let’s pray: Father we are so honored that you have given us the privilege of raising our little ones for you. I pray you guide us and direct our teaching so that our children will come to know you at  an early age. Give us opportunities to share your love for them often. May you open their hearts to your saving knowledge as soon as it can be taught. Thank you Lord for letting us do this. In Jesus Name Amen!

Your assignment: Share some ideas of how you shared Christ with your children when they were young to help them understand God and His word. We as mothers can use all the ideas we can get!

*****

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words – Prepared by God – Unanswered Prayers

December 5, 2012 by

GCH_Eph2_10

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission. Although He was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered and, once made perfect, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him and was designated by God to be High Priest in the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 5:7-10

Somehow, reading these verses, I feel strangely uncomfortable and comforted at the same time. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel uncomfortable when I read that God let His son go through trials and problems so much that He offered up prayers and petitions to his Father. I mean he WAS God, why did He have to go through that? On the other hand, I find myself comforted knowing that He went through trials, just like me! And now I can send up prayers and petitions, too. I don’t think He, Jesus, actually had to go through them; he could have been born and gone through life without one problem or trial. But He chose to be like us, to show us how to pray and be an example of how God wanted to prepare us for our own battles.

I love this paragraph in our study that Dineen wrote: “In our trials, we can look to Jesus and see the pattern of preparation, and perhaps therein lies our joy-in knowing that the Father loves us as much as He loves His Son and is preparing us for the destiny He has planned for each of us, and for our husbands.”

What trials are you going through, or have gone through, in your life and marriage that you can look and see the hand of God in the midst? Perhaps God has asked you to stay the course in your marriage through very tough and heavy circumstances. Maybe He’s asked you to show love to a man who acts unlovable, maybe he’s defensive and angry. Maybe you don’t feel loved by him, but God has called you to love him as He has loved you.

God has equipped us for these and any other situations that might be presented to us on a daily basis. Let’s look at some scriptures that bear out this very thing:

* 1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has seized you except what is common to man and God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NAS)

* 2 Timothy 3:16-17  All scripture is inspired by God and useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. (NIV)

* Ephesians 2:10  We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works which God prepared us in advance to do.

If we read these verses, and apply them, we know that not only is God preparing us, but He is equipping us for the battle, sometimes way ahead of it! Stay in the word, learn His way, and apply it to life. God does not say He won’t give us trials in this life.  He said we will have them, but He will help us and provide a way for us.  If the battle is short or long, He will be there for us.

We know that God hears us from the verse Dineen shared, Psalm 17:6  “I am praying to you because I know You will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray” (NLT), but do we really believe it? Sometimes it seems as though God is not listening. We pray and plead and send up our petitions and it seems we’re hitting a wall. We worry that He doesn’t see our situation or hear us, but because of His word, we know He does. So we wait….

I know I’ve talked about my son and his addiction to drugs and alcohol and  rebellion before, but let me just expand on it for a moment. Tristan’s rebellion started when he was 12. He suddenly became this angry, unhappy person I didn’t know. It went on a downward spiral of drugs, alcohol, and girls. He was soon more interested in partying than school, or life. He ran away a few times, screamed that he hated me on daily basis and moved out for a time when he was 17. He only came back because he was hungry.

During this time, we prayed and prayed and prayed. God probably got tired of hearing my voice!! But hear me He did!  When Tristan turned 19 things started to change. He admitted his addiction and got help. He tells me everyday that he loves me, whether in a text or by mouth. He is 21 now and a productive member of society. He hasn’t come back to the Lord yet, but I’m still praying for that. But because we were in the word and had an active Christian life, God prepared us ahead of time for the battle. I can look back and see how God prepared me and listened to me in the heat of the battle. It was part of His plan for us. God heard me!  His timing may not have been  my time, but He was faithful. I know He is hearing my prayers now; He’s proved it to me.  He is hearing you, as well!  Rest in that.

In Christ,

Donna

Let’s Pray:

God thank You for hearing our prayers and for preparing us for the battles You allow to happen in our lives. Help us to hear You, as well . May we stay as ever faithful to You, as You are to us. In Jesus’ name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

Let us know the battles you are facing in your marriages and let’s us be privileged to pray for you as we all face the battlefield.

***********************

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Winning Him Without Words: The Helmet of Salvation – The Sword of the Spirit – Don’t be a Martyr be a Missionary!

November 28, 2012 by

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

As I was reading these parts of the chapter today, a song came to mind:

“Put on the garment of praise

for the spirit of heaviness

lift up your voice to God

Praise with the Spirit

and with understanding

O magnify the Lord!”

I find that music will lift me up and put me in the right frame of mind when I’m battling something. It also blocks out thoughts that the enemy puts in my head by replacing them with scripture to build me up. It reminds me who always wins the battle!

Our thoughts can be a real battle for us at times. I know I’m guilty of this. A thought creeps in and I go with it instead of giving it to God. When we do this, the enemy can fly! Then one thought leads to another, invading our mind, and before you know it, we’re having our own little pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christs representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough! Sound familiar?

That’s why it’s so important to put on the Helmet of Salvation and take up the Sword of the Spirit on a very regular basis. The Helmet and the Sword are our protection from ungodly thoughts that we let enter our minds. We do choose to let them in, because we have the power to reject them immediately by equipping ourselves. We need the Armor everyday in order to face the battle, and the liar,  head on! Letting these thoughts come in says we are in control. We become martyrs for the cause! But we don’t need to live like this!  God’s got this for us if we only put that Armor on and yield it to Him. And we can, just by asking.

Can you imagine our Bible heroes saying in defeat; “I can’t do this”?  How about Daniel, when they said he must bow? He followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  How about Esther? She also followed what she felt God was telling her to do. She fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”!  How about the ULTIMATE sacrifice? Christ, when he went to the cross? He went into the garden to pray first-to put on his Armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done”  then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

I believe all of these were examples to us, they set a pattern for us. Especially Christ, who was God and didn’t have to, but He prayed first, putting on the Armor for the battle ahead of Him. He had the power to say no and not go through with his crucifixion, but he gave it all up for us.

I agree with Dineen when she says ” the key is to change our perception and quit seeing ourselves as martyrs in our marriage, but instead put on the label of missionaries” We are not alone. We can help each other stand in the gap when someone goes down, or we can fight the battle on our own. But first, and foremost, we must remember to put on that Armor everyday and not go into the battle unprotected.

It’s our choice, get up and put on the Armor and start fighting for our husbands until God intervenes and saves him or go into the battle unprepared and unprotected and feel like all is lost. I choose the winning side, I choose to fully equip myself with the weapons of mass destruction that the Lord has provided for me, if only I ask.

Here I am, Lord, asking………

God bless,

Donna

_____________________

Lets pray:

Lord we choose the full armor of you for our battles today. You promised that you’d be there with us when we ask. Clothe us with your armor for the battle for the glory of winning our husbands for you! Thank you Lord for providing this for us.  In Jesus name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

What is holding you back from putting on that armor every day? Let’s name them and then pray for each other, that we can rid ourselves of these hindrances and be victorious in our battles.

____________________

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 16, 2012 by

Hello!  This week, since Martha is out of town, I will be offering our Weekly Review of Chapter 7 of Winning Him Without Words!  I hope you don’t mind!  I know Martha has been doing an amazing job with your Weekly Review, and I can only hope I come close!! 🙂

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Monday:  Beverly shared on the blog.

  • She began by asking the question, “Is it really necessary to win an argument?”  Then she asked “why?”
  • We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.
  • Our husband needs to see that God has changed us.
  • We need to surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage.
  • Let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!
  • It’s OKAY to agree to disagree!!

Tuesday:  Jennifer shared on the blog.

  • We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives.
  • when hurt, pain, bitterness, and anger take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you.
  • Jesus is not going to force you to live in negative emotions.  However, He does not want you to live there!
  • Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband.
  • This change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
  • God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU!

Wednesday:  Donna shared on our blog.

  • Death and life are in the power in the tongue, and we will eat its fruit.  Proverbs 18:21
  • We must speak our words carefully.
  • We have the ability to tear down or build up.
  • We will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken
  • The Father feeds us words of LIFE!
  • We should purpose every day to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands.

Thursday: Sarah shared on our blog.

  • A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.
  • Men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.
  • When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men.
  • When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.
  • Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you are not droning on and on without ever making a clear point.
  • Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor”.
  • How do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up?
  • God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out.
  • You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

And that leaves us with Friday… today! I want to finish this week by sharing with you the prayer that Lynn wrote at the end of this chapter.  I believe it says a lot more than I ever could!  I hope you have enjoyed this book, so far.  We have just a few more weeks left and we will then take a break for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.  We will be sharing a preview of our next study with you soon.  So be sure to continue to check in with us daily!

Let’s Pray:

Father, today I surrender my husband wholly to You.  I am relinquishing my desire to save my husband, and I ask You to take Your rightful place in seeking and saving him for eternity.

Lord, show me the areas of conflict I need to stand upon as well as issues I can surrender and trust You to handle.  You tell us in Your Word that if we need wisdom, we should ask You for it and You will be generous in giving it to us. (James 1:5)

Lord, place in my mind Your wisdom that I may be the peacemaker and the one to help resolve conflict with my spouse.  Jesus, our words have the power of life and death, of cutting and healing.  Form this day forward, place a new awareness in my heart to be mindful of the words I speak to others.  Place Your words in my conscious and unconscious mind so that only words that are good and pleasing come from my lips.

Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight”.  (Psalm 19:14)

In Your powerful name, Jesus.  AMEN!

 

Be blessed & Be a Blessing to Others,

Christi

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Let’s Have a Word

November 14, 2012 by

The tongue can bring death or life;

those who love to talk will reap consequences.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

The verse for today really intrigued me, so I looked it up in the NAS version of the Bible. It sent me to two other verses:

Matthew 12:37  “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” and also Proverbs 13:3  “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”.

They are all equally a warning to us. The truth is we must speak our words carefully. Not only for ourselves, but also for the ones we love. We have the ability to tear down or build up those whom we love on a daily basis. I know this for a fact, as I grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot of building up.

In my home, as we grew up, there weren’t a lot of positive, encouraging words spoken. In fact, most of what we heard was very destructive to my life. I suffered self-esteem issues as a teenager and even into adult years. I never trusted anyone to really love me for myself until I met Jesus. When I met the Lord, I never knew anyone could love me unconditionally.  He had a lot to teach me!  But, as a result of my home life, I also suffered from depression and thoughts of suicide during the tumultuous teen years.

I also met my husband at a young age, too. Between him and God, I learned what real love was. Ronald seemed to genuinely love me through all of it. He was a rock for me and proved it over and over with words of love and encouragement whenever he could.  He made me feel I was worth something.  I didn’t always receive them; in fact I doubted them a lot!  But he meant every word he said!  He stuck with me through that time and is still here 35 years later!!

I also read a lot of scripture then and tried to focus on that.  I know that we really need to realize when, how, and what we speak because words touch us in ways that can be good or bad.  Things we say in anger can really hurt our husbands and loved ones.  I am a testament to that. Our relationships are shaped and nurtured through our words.

My son, who has gone through alcohol and drug abuse when he was a teen, said that had we not told him every day that we loved him and were praying for him daily during that time, he would not be here. We spoke life and healing words to his soul as often as we could, and I believe I still have my son because of those words.  That is how God speaks to us.

What words does the Father say to us that we can hang onto and speak to our spouses?

*Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that He knows us and has a plan for our lives!

*1Peter 5:7  Tells us to cast our cares on Him for he cares for us affectionately and watches over us.

*Romans 5:8 Tells us that even when we still in sin God loved us and Christ died for us.

* Psalms 62:8 Says trust in Him and we can pour out our hearts to Him because he is our refuge.

* Psalm 147:3 Says He heals the broken hearted and binds up our wounds.

* Psalm 103:8 God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

*Psalm 103:13 Says God shows us compassion just as a father would.

These are words form our loving God and Father! He speaks life and love to us throughout His word. Can we be any different? Unfortunately I am sometimes.  Matthew 12:36 says that “we will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken”.   That should give us pause to think before we speak.

I try, and often fail, to speak words of life and love to my husband everyday. I even text him throughout the day to let him know I’m praying for him. It’s an easy thing to do, so why don’t I do it all the time? Ladies can we purpose today to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands? It benefits him as well as us. It shows him you love him and are concerned for him.  It builds him up and in turn you are built up, as well.  That can only benefit your marriage if you build one another up.  And it gets easier the more you do it!

Like Lynn, I want my words to speak life and healing.  How about you?

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Let’s pray:

Lord we thank You for the gift of words. We thank You that You love us through Your word. Help us to always speak life and healing to our husbands and shut our mouths when we are tempted to tear them down. Give us the right words at the right time to say. Thank You for being our example of what words can do. In Jesus name-Amen

Your Assignment:

I’ve already texted my husband and told him how much I appreciate his working hard and for the provision for our family. I know that is important to him.  What life words can you speak specifically to your husband, whether in a text, phone call, note, or even right to him, that will build him up and make his day? Comment below and show us how we can do the same.

I pray you all will have a life building day!

Donna

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words – Heart Tablets

November 7, 2012 by

“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on human hearts.”

2 Corinthians: 2-3

What is my message to the unbelieving loved ones in my life? What can I communicate with my actions today? Am I willing to let the Holy Spirit make his mark on me for the benefit of my unsaved loved ones?

I re-wrote these questions from the book and only changed them to make them personal for me. I needed to do that so I could ponder them and claim them for my life, so I could examine myself from them. Do I leave a Godly message for my loved ones? Are my actions motivated by my love of the Savior? Or are my actions done with the motivation that I can save them?? I pray not.

In our scripture today, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse. That because of our ministry to them they can have the Spirit of God written on their hearts if they accept Him. I’m humbled by that. Not only has the Spirit of God reached down and written on my heart, I can reflect Him in my words and actions. If they, our spouse, see this lived out in us, we could be the vessel God uses to bring them to Him! It is also somewhat daunting as well. But then I remember what Dineen says: “We can find tremendous comfort in the sense that it isn’t up to us to know what to say or how to say it.”  We have the Holy Spirit in us that helps us do that. We don’t have to rely on ourselves and be bogged down with what to do or say. That is a relief, and it gives us more reason to pray and stick close to God.

How many times have I tried to push the issue with them? Nagged and cried and begged?? Or even just sat back and was angry because they wouldn’t listen? Oh Boy!! I can think of many times! Not letting the Holy Spirit guide me, just pushing ahead without any direction at all! I need to stop and think, Would I listen to someone who is hassling me like this? Would I see a loving, caring God in that tone? I’m thinking  NOT!  What I need to remember in that moment is that I leave a permanent impression on my loved one whenever I am speaking to them.

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke, we see the father in this story giving his son free will and an early inheritance. Off goes the son and blows all the money then hires himself out a s slave to someone because of a famine in the land. He ends up feeding PIGS!! Even desiring the food he is feeding them! He finally comes to his senses and remembers that even his father’s hired hands have food to spare. So he goes home and repents, offers himself up to his father as a slave and what does the father do?? He throws his arms around his son and quickly organizes a party for him. How awesome is that? Now, obviously, this is my own interpretation of this Parable but as I read it I’m thinking I don’t hear his father begging him to stay or crying or nagging. No he just gives the son what he wants and let’s him go. I have to believe the son was brought up in a believing household. I’m sure he probably prayed his heart out, like any parent would, that he would return to him. And because the father lived out his faith and wrote on his heart, the son realized what the truth was and returned home to the father.

What I’m trying to get at here is that maybe taking a step back in our marriage. Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next. Let yourself be God’s love letter to them. Let the heart of Christ radiate out of you for them to see. We don’t have to worry about what to say. We just need to be willing vessels, ready to give God’s grace in the moment. God can only use us when we  yield to Him. Give them freedom to choose for themselves because of that reflection.

Purpose in your heart to be God’s message to your husband. Communicate love and grace to them ” letting the Holy Spirit make his mark on you for the benefit of your Husband.” When you do this you are honoring God and your husband. Ask yourself those questions at the beginning of our chapter and make them personal by putting your and your spouses names in them. Then implement that answer and let God shine through you!

Let’s pray:

God thank you for writing on our hearts today. We ask that you would radiate your Spirit through  us and let us have the honor of being your vessel and tool in the salvation of our spouses. May they only see you and not us. Give us willing hearts to be able to do this. Show us and give us the exact words and things to do to make this happen. You are faithful and loving. We praise you today for all that you are doing and will do. In Jesus name I pray – Amen

Your assignment:

I am purposing to do what Dineen says in the first paragraph of our chapter today-speak words of love to my husband and reflect Christ while doing so. What can you do that will speak to your husband today and how will you do it??

God’s blessings on your day,

Donna

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If you are interested in joining this “Winning Him Without Words” online bible study, please click HERE to complete the sign-up form.  You will need to purchase the book in order to follow along with us.  You can find details for the book on our sign-up form.

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Winning Him Without Words: Are We the Sweet Aroma of Christ, Or the Stench of Death?

October 31, 2012 by

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those perishing. To one we are the smell of death, to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?”

2 Corinthians 2:14-16

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I had an Aunt that I loved to hug when I was a child. She always smelled like Lillie’s of the Valley. Her aroma was always so sweet to me, not only because of her perfume, but she radiated love to me. She always showed love and attention to me when I was with her. She made me feel special and that I mattered to her. Her love was genuine and I could sense it, smell it and see it every time I was with her. I want to smell as sweet as my Aunt did to me.

I don’t know about you , but when I get ready for a special occasion, or a date with my husband, I take time to put on special lotions and perfume. This part of our chapter really spoke to me. I never once gave a thought, before now, how I “smell” as a christian! But God wants us to know we give off an aroma to our loved ones, be it death or life. WOW! It is really an eye opener to me to know that.  I know that I can speak life or death to my husband, but what do I smell like when he is next to me??

Does he see me living out my faith as the aroma of Christ? Does he something in me that he longs for in the deepest depths of his soul? Or does he see an ugly example that turns him off?

I agree with Dineen when she says she gets excited because the verse uses the present tense of the verb, “those who are being saved”. I love that because it gives us hope that God’s work in our spouse, or loved one, is NOT done. It is an ongoing process, continual. He hasn’t given up on them. As we pray for our spouses we can be assured that God is still working on them , even if we don’t see anything changed in them. On Page 89 Dineen says, “According to Paul, God may have put us where we are because we are to be a key factor to our spouse’s salvation. We may be one of the tools God is choosing specifically to use in bringing our loved ones to Him. God may have called us to this exact place at this exact time.”   This just gets me so excited!! First that God would use me, just a wife, mother and grandmother, but I love God and I want my whole family to know and love Him. Second it excites me because I don’t ever have to give up, God is always working!! God has placed us in our loved ones lives for a purpose. That purpose is the privilege of showing them Christ!  What an honor!

From now on I will pay close attention to the aroma I’m giving off, not only on special occasions or a date, but everyday life. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be the aroma of death, stinky, decaying, rotting, death? Or do I want to give off the sweet, loving, breathtaking aroma of Christ?” I choose Christ.

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Let’s Pray:

Lord I pray for myself and all the beautiful women involved in this study. Help us to give off your aroma to our spouses and loved ones everyday. Let them notice it and long for that aroma for themselves. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of your plan of salvation in their lives. Give us strength and life to pass along to them and bring it to fruition we pray.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Your assignment:

What kind of fragrance are you giving off to your spouse? Is it life giving or death? Share and tell us, if it’s the wrong one, How you plan to change it through Christ.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: To Know and Be Known

October 24, 2012 by

But the man who loves God is known by God.

1 Corinthians 8:3

 I admit it, I have struggled with writing from this part of our book this week. to be honest, I don’t know what it’s like to be married to an unbeliever. But I do have a son who is unsaved and it breaks my heart. I suppose it is not on the level with my husband, but it is a heartbreaking situation. I also have other loved ones that are unsaved as well. There are women in our church that come every week without their unsaved husbands and as our women’s ministry head, I need to know how to relate and help them. I know God lead me to this ministry and to this book. As my friend tells me, God is stretching me!
The one thing that really struck me in this part of our chapter today was when Dineen says: Do I want my husband’s salvation more than I want Jesus? WOW!! That speaks volumes. I can apply it to anything in my life, not just my husband. Anytime we desire something, even if it is something we know God is ok with, if it is overtaking our thoughts and life, it is a barrier between us and the relationship we could be having with Him. Wanting our husbands to be saved and to be known by God is a good thing. But when did God step back, let us take over the reigns of our lives and give us permission to be Him? God is a gentleman and will not force himself on anyone.
I struggle with trying to play God in my son’s life. I try giving him books to read, pleading and fretting over his spiritual state. But I also try to do this with my husband too. If I think he is missing something God has given me, I try to spoon feed it to him, ( or shove it down his throat! ), When what God really wants me to do is to grow and learn and enjoy this thing He has given ME to draw closer to him. Let God take care of the rest-Husband, son, and other unsaved loved ones.
My greatest desire is to have ALL if my loved ones saved and on their way to heaven with me. But, honestly, I do want it in God’s timing, then it’s real. I have to know that God is working on them and He will orchestrate the exact right moment in time for them. He loves them so much more than I do. I want to be ready for that. For the time being I need to work on two things: to know God and be known by God-for me. I never stop praying for my son and he knows it. But as I grow and know God the more I reflect that, hopefully they see it and are drawn to it because they see God in me. That’s the only thing I can do. I need to let go of the control, NOT the desire, for the ones I love to come to the Lord. Otherwise, I am making that the forefront and an idol. (OUCH!) That’s wanting my loved ones salvation more than Jesus, and God won’t honor that.
Pg 76 Says: Amazingly, when we put God first in out lives our deepest needs are met. Oftentimes, the needs are ones we didn’t even know we had. and the beauty of it all? In God’s presence we are known from head to toe – our thoughts, our needs and even our dreams.
That says it all!!
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Lets Pray:

Father we know you Know us but we are desiring that our Husband s also be known by you. We also know you want that as well. Lord help us to step back and do your work as only you can do. we love you Lord and are willing to leave them to you. Let our greatest desire, the salvation of our loved ones, be your work and yours alone. Thank you God that you aren’t willing that any should perish either and that you have that right moment waiting for them. Guide us this day to do your will. Thank you for answered prayer. In Jesus name, Amen.Your Assignment:

Search your heart and look at those things, and people, that hold us back from letting go and letting God take over. Name them, if you can, and let us all pray for one another over it. We need each other, and we need to pray for one another; it is a strong bond in the Lord with our sisters in Christ. Let’s collectively reach out to God together and raise the roof of heaven with these desires and God will hear us. Where two or three are gathered in His name………

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
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Winning Him Without Words: Bring on the Bedroom

October 17, 2012 by
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5
I’m just going to reiterate some of the things written in this part of our chapter:
* This verse, like Lynn says, is God’s perspective on intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is a gift from God, something that we share only with each other. Created by God for marriage.
* It is supposed to be a pleasurable thing for husband and wife.
*We need to make the effort.
Let’s face it when we got married all we wanted to do was make love, for the first few months that’s all we do! But then life gets in the way and intimacy goes on the back burner. We have children and jobs and we get tired after dealing with these things all day. This part of our marriage is important to both of us and we shouldn’t neglect it. That being said and so as not to re-write everything that was written in our study, I want to share with some practical  things with you so you can enjoy and anticipate this vital part of your marriage, making it fun as you do!
The first thing I would have you do is pray! This is important because it puts things into a biblical mindset for you and also gets your heart in the right place.
When I first got married a friend of mine, who had been married for some time, gave me this advice that someone had given her when she married. Write down all the things that attracted you to your husband when you first met and married. It may not all be physical. Just all the good qualities and things that made your heart melt at the sight of him. Then go back and read it often and especially when you know it’s been awhile and you need to be reminded. Then think on those things!
Text him at work or call and leave a message of love for him on his phone. Sometimes I leave a little sticky note in his lunch box for him to find.
Buy a new negligee once in awhile and wear it on a night when it’s least expected and surprise him. I guarantee he will be in the mood!
Make reservations at a restaurant you both like and take him out on a date. Date nights are usually planned by us; so be as creative as you can. Dress to the nines!!
A picnic in the country or at a park you like to go to, just the two of you.
Fom Christi:  There is a candle that I will suggest to you, also.  It’s a Woodwick Candle.  It actually has a wood wick, so when the wick is lit, it crackles while it burns, making it sound like a mini-fireplace!! 🙂  Use this candle, especially if you have children, as a signal to your spouse that you are interested in making love with him that night.  BOTH of you can use this candle in this way!  Light it earlier in the day, so it gives each other time to prep and get the kids taken care of, before that special time alone.
On a grander scale here are some things you can do that I have found are very nice, whether it’s your  anniversary or a special occasion or just because:
I kidnapped my husband once. A week ahead of time I made reservations for dinner and a hotel in the town where my husband works. Then I had a friend drive me to his work and drop me off at his car. I was dressed in heels and his favorite dress and smelled wonderful! I looked GOOD!! When he came out to his car and found me there he was so shocked. I took over the wheel of the car and drove us to the hotel where he showered and changed ( I had packed a bag for him). We went to dinner and just enjoyed being together and the night!!! It was great fun for both of us!
We usually go somewhere for a couple days for our anniversary every year. It usually in our home state, so we don’t go too far, staying at a B&B. We find lots of unique places and it’s something we plan together months in advance and look forward to.
We also make sure to take a weeks vacation together, just the two of us every summer. We plan ahead and make it special by doing something we individually like together for a day. He likes sports, I like shopping. So we each get to enjoy it together. I can handle it for one day and so can he.
Every five years or so we attend a marriage seminar of some sort. It refreshes you and reminds you to think of your marriage as a priority, And they usually touch on the subject of intimacy too.
Let’ face it, day to day life is sometimes boring and we can let that leak into our sex life as well. Plan ahead and think of your husband. Anticipation is the key for us. God intended for us to be intimate, and it’s a very special part of our marriage. Let’s try to keep it alive and well. God says it is good and we should enjoy it!!!
If you are interested in more Date Night / Romance ideas, and you belong to our Facebook Discussion Group, please check the Files section of your group!  There are a ton of great ideas in that section of our your group!
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Lets Pray:
God thank you for our spouses and our marriages. Help us to keep intimate with you and with each other. I pray that we would purpose to keep the intimate part of our marriage alive and well and honoring you. Remind us daily of our love for our husbands. Help us to be creative and loving in our planning for these times. Thank you lord of the gift of intimacy  with our husband. In Jesus name-Amen.
Your assignment:
I have shared a few things that I have done to keep our love alive in our marriage. What things, without giving too much detail, can you say you’ve done or are planning to do to help this part of your marriage to stay alive and well?  Maybe we can steal some of those ideas for ourselves!!!
Many Blessings,
Donna
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Winning Him Without Words: Throw Me a Life Preserver!

October 10, 2012 by
Jesus answered,
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6
The decision I made to follow Christ was the single most life changing decision I could have made.Once I decided to follow Him I immersed myself in Him. We literally ate, drank and slept Jesus. It was a time of learning and seeking for both my husband and I. The things I learned and resolved were so freeing!
As I grew in Christ I learned to forgive. I was able to let go of the unforgiveness I had for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents when I was a child. That forgiveness was for me as well. I had carried it around for so long and letting go of it gave me a freedom in my heart I didn’t even know existed!! God has said the truth shall set you free and I was free indeed. So in my journey with Christ I have learned to recognize that nudge from God when I need to let something go and forgive.
Having already confessed that I am somewhat of a control freak, letting go is sometimes hard for me. I need refining and reminding just like Lynn says. Our marriage is always being refined and I think it should be. As we yield our marriage to God, he loves and shapes us into the couple who can serve Him free of all the hurts and pain we bring on each other. Our life journey is together as well as separate. We experience life and problems from our own unique perspectives.
As I yield these experiences to God and choose to let Him lead, I react in a right and godly way. My husband sees that and hopefully wants to respond that way too. We, as their wives, are a constant example of Christ to them since we live together 24/7. I’m always asking God to show me how to respond, move on and forgive if I need to, in the situations in our life. Now I’m not always successful, I fail more times than I want, but I get right back up and try again knowing God always gives me another chance. The little things I let crowd in and fester can be let go of  if I yield it to my Savior.
Twenty years ago, when I gave up looking for our new house because our supposed “dream house” fell through, I let anger take over. I left it to my husband to find us a house. He finally chose one that I hated! It had gold shag carpet, gold draperies, and brown and orange wall paper in the dining room! It was ugly! But my husband saw potential. So once again I had to choose not to be angry and let it go.
The choice to let go of the control of choosing a home for us and leave it to God and trust that my husband had made the right choice was not easy. I prayed and spent much time speaking out to God that I wanted Him to be in control. Giving it over daily was all I could do.
My husband has literally remodeled every room in the house and even built us a beautiful bedroom retreat with a balcony just for us!  Our home is beautiful thanks to God and my husband. I can praise God that he chose it and my husband for all the hard work he has put into it. God took care of my needs and our marriage too. I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory!
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Let’s pray:
God we love you. Help us to let go of things that hold us back from making us all you want us and our marriage to be.  Free us form those strongholds that we let take over. Free us to move in our marriages just the way you want us to. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name Amen
Your assignment:
Are there things in your life, like I had in mine that hold you back in your marriage? Unforgiveness, anger, control? Let’s name some of these things and purpose to give it to God and then let’s pray for one another over them. After all the body of Christ need each other and what better way than to pray for our sisters to be free??!!
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If you are interested in joining our FREE Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of our webpage, and follow the instructions.  We’ll be glad to get you signed up!
Blessings,
Donna
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