December 23, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Keep Your Armor On -You’re at War

November 26, 2012 by

When we get up from our bed each morning we are entering a battlefield…many times we have not even had a chance to have our devotion with the Lord or even get a cup of coffee when the battles of our day begins…..

Here is where some of our tug of wars start:

  • Getting breakfast
  • Fixing lunches
  • Doing some laundry/cleaning
  • Getting kids to school
  • Going to work
  • Fixing dinner
  • Getting kids to sports practices
  • Making sure homework is completed
  • Getting everyone showers
  • And on and on and on……

And this list is only a beginning of the tug on our lives and as you notice from our list above, we still didn’t spend any time with God yet.

By the end of our day our brains feel like a battlefield and our hearts have the holes to show the direct hits we’ve taken thru each tug. We sit and ask ourselves “how much longer can I continue and what would happen if I just stopped?”

This happened to me one evening when I fixed dinner and set the table and called my family to come eat.  They all sat down and said to me “awwh I didn’t want to have this tonite, could you not have fixed so and so..they continued for many minutes having something negative to say about the fact that I didn’t fix what “they wanted”.  They had no compassion of the fact that my day was a war zone and that everything that I had encountered was a continuous battle from one moment to the next and yet all they could think about were their wants……so you may be asking “what did you do”.

Well I did what any sweet wife and mother would do in this situation (no it was not fix them another dinner)…..I took every one of their plates and raked it all in the trash can and told them they could all find something to eat on their own and then I took my plate into my room and had dinner alone.

Yes I was having as Dineen called it “the briefest of a pity party”—and so I retreated into my room so I could find shelter to help guide me through what I had just done.  I needed to put on some armor & restore my strength.

In our scripture for today’s lesson Eph. 6:12-17 it explains two parts that we battle in our lives.  Verse 12 talks about what or whom we battle and verses 13-17 tells us about the standing part.

We are on the front lines of battle every morning, and if we get up and let God be the commander and direct the battles, direct our lives, direct everything, then at least when we put on the armor God provides us we are going into the daily battles with strength—we won’t be walking into these daily battles blindly but instead we will be prepared for what will come, and we will be able to hear Him tell us when to strike and when to fall back.

God will be the one to get us through the daily battles and get us through them alive.

Do we want to walk blindly through our battles, letting Satan tear us down, and try destroying our testimony or do we want to put on our armor and do what these verses tell us to do “to stand”.

There will be battles in our marriages that will be coming that we won’t be able to see ahead of time but when they hit, when the interruptions abound, that is when we must, right then, put on the armor and take a stand.

You may be very weak:                                           STAND

You may get weary:                                                 STAND

You may feel fear:                                                    STAND

The roar of battle may be deafening:                    STAND

The devil may remind you of past defeats:            STAND

You may see others fall:                                           STAND

Confusion and chaos may be all around you:      STAND

Everything may seem to be against you:              STAND

You may feel all alone:                                            STAND

You may feel your marriage slipping away:          STAND

 We are strong in the Lord, and in the power of HIS might!   So Stand ladies Stand!

 If you are in a mismatched marriage, there is a soul at stake, so wake up each morning, prepare your heart, put on your armor and stand ready and prepared to help lead your man to the commander by your example.

Let’s Pray:   God I pray for each lady that she would arise every morning and prepare herself with armor on and ready to meet with you on the front lines in our marriages, and allow You to restore us with Your strength in the battles we may face today. In Your name I pray.    Amen!

Your assignment:  Have you recognized any attacks from the enemy in your marriages lately, if so please share with us how you took a “stand” against the enemy and stood strong instead, or if you have learned something new God has shown you from studying today’s lesson that will be of help in future attacks share that with us.

Blessings to you all this week,

Beverly

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: A Front Row Seat

November 21, 2012 by

Take a stroll with me down the streets of Orange, Texas, a small town located on the Louisiana border, where I have resided for the last 25 years.  One of the main attractions in Orange is The Lutcher Theater.  Though a small town, we here in Orange are very privileged that The Lutcher plays host to big name celebrities throughout the year.

Two blocks down the street from The Lutcher is another theater called Orange Community Players.  It is here one will see familiar faces of people in the community, using their God-given talents in the performing arts.

Five miles north of town is The Bush Family Theater.  In this theater, God Himself, is the producer.  On any day of the year, He is producing some of the highest quality dramas, unlike The Lutcher, or I dare say, Broadway has ever produced.

It is in this small home theater where God casts my husband as the main character in each  drama.  The role he is playing is a true story and it is all about God relentlessly pursuing him for his eternal salvation.  An analytical, strong-willed man, who feels he is self-sufficient and has no need of God, he is totally clueless about what is going on between him and God.

I kid you not, every time I watch another episode, my mind races back to the farm I grew up on in Georgia.  Not only did my daddy grow peanuts like all farmers do in Georgia, but he had a large herd of cattle and hogs.  Once a month, Daddy would load up about 50 hogs that he had been fattening to take to the market to sell.  He’d back his big truck up to the fence and line it up with the  “hog shoot.”  For all you city girls, a hog shoot is a narrow wooden passage that the hogs walk up to enter the truck from the field.

Now, the old hogs did not “gracefully” walk up the shoot.  They had to have a little prodding.  Daddy had just the thing to get them going in the direction of the back of his truck – -a hot stick.  This was a battery operated device that gave them an electric shot in their rear that guided them up the narrow passage way into the back of the truck.  Poor hogs – -they had no choice, but to enter the truck.

I am sure you know where I am going with this.  My man has no choice.  God’s guiding hands will get him in the back of His truck.

Yes, it is all being played out before my eyes, and I get to have a front row seat, just as Lynn talks about on page 129 in Winning Him Without Words.

I just feel it in my bones that the final episode is about to be produced.  When it is, you are invited to Orange to the little theater five miles north of town to the celebration. I will kill the fatted calf that I have been fattening up for this occasion.

Outside The Bush Family Theater, the marquee will read: “My Son Which Was Lost Is Now Found.  Admission FREE! Come on in!”

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Let’s pray:

God, I thank you for pursuing each of our husbands, not only for their eternal salvation, but that they grow in grace and in the knowledge of you.  Help us to live our lives before them as 1 Peter 3 calls us to, and not interfere with what you are doing in their lives.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen

Your assignment:

Have you seen God in some way pursuing your husband?  If so, how?  The big question is:  “Did you stay quiet and not interfere in what He was doing?


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If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of this page, in the menu bar, and complete the sign-up form.  We will add you once we receive your request.

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Winning Him Without Words: Move from Hurt to Healing – The Seasons of Marriage

November 19, 2012 by

The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?

Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:

Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.

Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.

Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.

Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.

As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.

This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.

Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check  and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.

Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.

Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….

Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..

As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were,  as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”.   The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn.   You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.

You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God.  The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time  in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.

We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy.   We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.

Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.

Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!

Let’s Pray:

God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray.  Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,

Beverly

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 16, 2012 by

Hello!  This week, since Martha is out of town, I will be offering our Weekly Review of Chapter 7 of Winning Him Without Words!  I hope you don’t mind!  I know Martha has been doing an amazing job with your Weekly Review, and I can only hope I come close!! 🙂

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Monday:  Beverly shared on the blog.

  • She began by asking the question, “Is it really necessary to win an argument?”  Then she asked “why?”
  • We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.
  • Our husband needs to see that God has changed us.
  • We need to surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage.
  • Let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!
  • It’s OKAY to agree to disagree!!

Tuesday:  Jennifer shared on the blog.

  • We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives.
  • when hurt, pain, bitterness, and anger take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you.
  • Jesus is not going to force you to live in negative emotions.  However, He does not want you to live there!
  • Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband.
  • This change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
  • God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU!

Wednesday:  Donna shared on our blog.

  • Death and life are in the power in the tongue, and we will eat its fruit.  Proverbs 18:21
  • We must speak our words carefully.
  • We have the ability to tear down or build up.
  • We will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken
  • The Father feeds us words of LIFE!
  • We should purpose every day to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands.

Thursday: Sarah shared on our blog.

  • A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.
  • Men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.
  • When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men.
  • When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.
  • Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you are not droning on and on without ever making a clear point.
  • Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor”.
  • How do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up?
  • God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out.
  • You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

And that leaves us with Friday… today! I want to finish this week by sharing with you the prayer that Lynn wrote at the end of this chapter.  I believe it says a lot more than I ever could!  I hope you have enjoyed this book, so far.  We have just a few more weeks left and we will then take a break for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.  We will be sharing a preview of our next study with you soon.  So be sure to continue to check in with us daily!

Let’s Pray:

Father, today I surrender my husband wholly to You.  I am relinquishing my desire to save my husband, and I ask You to take Your rightful place in seeking and saving him for eternity.

Lord, show me the areas of conflict I need to stand upon as well as issues I can surrender and trust You to handle.  You tell us in Your Word that if we need wisdom, we should ask You for it and You will be generous in giving it to us. (James 1:5)

Lord, place in my mind Your wisdom that I may be the peacemaker and the one to help resolve conflict with my spouse.  Jesus, our words have the power of life and death, of cutting and healing.  Form this day forward, place a new awareness in my heart to be mindful of the words I speak to others.  Place Your words in my conscious and unconscious mind so that only words that are good and pleasing come from my lips.

Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight”.  (Psalm 19:14)

In Your powerful name, Jesus.  AMEN!

 

Be blessed & Be a Blessing to Others,

Christi

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Pick and Choose Your Battles / Stand up or Shut up

November 12, 2012 by

Is it really necessary to win an argument?  Why do we want “to win”?

Do we feel that when we do, we have some kind of special power over the other person?

How many of us were/are like the little six year old in our lesson today, when we don’t win, we bawl(cry), we mouth words back to the person showing our total disappointment and we don’t stop doing these things until we get a point across to them in hopes to get a little reward in something.   Probably most of us can answer yes to this question/thought.

Each of us have something growing inside of us that likes “the victory” moments to occur, we like to be able to say “see there I did that” or “I won that”…..and for some reason we especially like to have those moments with our husbands for some reason.     We feel like when we win a battle that we have won the most ultimate gift of the day until tomorrow when something else happens and we are trying all over “to win again”.

I am here to say we will “NEVER” win, not the true gift anyway as long as we are just trying to win a “daily battle/conflict” in our marriage, because you see all those are just temporary “wins”, they have no meaning, they have no permanence, all they have is a temporary feeling and then they start all over the next morning.

Do we sit and think about the daily battles “before” we choose one to battle over?   I love what Gods Word tells us In Luke 21:14 NIV “but make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.

This verse tells us that we are able to make a decision not to worry, that we should Resolve and settle in our minds not to meditate and prepare beforehand how we will make our defense and how we will answer.

To meditate means to roll something around in our mind. Worry is simply rolling unpleasant possibilities around in our minds. Not to prepare beforehand how we will responsd to those who disagree with us is a real step of faith. We are then forced to rely on whatever God brings to our minds. By not preparing a battle and rolling these scenarios around in our minds we are now opening our minds instead to receive wisdom from God.

Worry can sneak up on us and we find all sorts of negative possibilities seeping into our minds uninvited and unwelcome, it is when conflicts in our marriage will begin to creep in, all because we want to win a battle, we want to gain an inch of ground in the argument.

 Why can’t we just “keep our mouths shut”

 We must remember that the ones of us who are believers and any of our husbands who are not believers do not see things the same way. One sees with God’s eyes and the other with the world’s eyes.    Thankfully Lynn tells us on Pg. 109 that “we believers view life through the lens of God’s Word, we filter the day’s events and process them through the truths we discover from reading our Bible daily and the time we spend in prayer and our husband processes life from some other source.   This makes our marriage a tough one to live every day and this is one reason why we have “daily battles”.  These are the times we have to decide to “stand up, or give up”  –  really is that what it has to be?  NO!    instead the process in these daily battles  needs to be us becoming mature in Christ and learning to pick and choose our battles carefully and prayerfully.

We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.

We can’t win our marriage on our own, we can’t take on the role of Jesus in trying to get our marriage to a place where we want it to, instead we need to give our daily battles to God and let Him do all the changing, stop pushing our faith and belief on our man to the point where we argue about it or even the simplest things that take away the focus of God in our lives and in our marriage.

Ladies our husband will see God has changed us, we don’t have to try and make him see and then the key that will unlock these battles is a “transformed life in Him(our husband) and a transformed life in us (our marriage)”

Let’s just surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage, let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!

 

Let’s Pray:   God I pray for each one of us as we will face upcoming battles in our marriages, help us Lord not to choose the battle but instead look to you and help us to decide if the issue/battle is truly worth this conflict we will face, and help us Lord instead to surrender it to you”  In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:   Tell us how you resolve conflicts/battles in your marriage.   How do you pick/choose your battles?   How many of you never have any conflicts/battles with your man, if so teach us your method and how it can help us to grow this area of our marriage.

Love you all,

Beverly

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

Last week we learned that we do not have to be perfect – we need to be authentic. Phew, what a relief! This week we are tackling the daily battles that arise in our relationships – how should we respond? What battles do we need to stand our ground on and which ones can we let go? Or do you feel like the character in the cartoon image and want/need to fight every battle, even to the detriment of your marriage? Ouch! We have a lot to learn this week and I cannot wait to get started!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Monday Nov 12 
Luke 21:14-15 – Pick & Choose Your Battles / Stand Up Shut Up – Beverly

Tuesday Nov 13 
A Transformed Life – Jennifer

Wednesday Nov 14 
Let’s Have a Word – Donna

Thursday Nov 15 
Speak Words of Grace / Receive Grace –  Sarah

Friday Nov 16 
Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, we know that this week’s topic may be a tough one for us to hear. We do not like to lose and we want to stand firm in our beliefs, Lord. But, God, we also want to have a healthy, loving marriage relationship with our spouse. Show us how to pick the battles worth fighting and letting go of the ones that we can agree to disagree on. Lord, it is by your strength that we do this. Just be with us as we look inward to our own actions and behaviors this week. Help us to change the things that we may need to change. Give us wisdom and strength to become the women and wives you have called us to be. In Jesus name, we pray Amen!

Blessings,

Jennifer

*****

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review w/ Martha Bush

November 9, 2012 by

 

He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  [2 Corinthians 12:9]

Trade perfection for authenticity is what Dineen asks us to do in Chapter 6.

Not to sound “holier than thou,” but I aced this chapter.  A perfectionist, I am not!  In fact, that is the character trait that divides by husband and me the most.

Oh yes, he is the perfectionist in the family.  He cleans up most of the things I start because, as he puts it: “You made a mess of this!”  It drives me nuts.  Perfection just isn’t a word in my vocabulary.

I believe there is no room for perfection in our spiritual lives either.  So, I ask you ladies:  “Do you really think you can live this Christian life before your husband perfectly?” “Do you really think those old fleshly flaws within you aren’t going to occasionally pop up?”

“Come on, ladies, you need to get real!”

Authenticity says:  “Yes, I goofed, that is why I need a Savior!”

Authenticity says:  “I need to stop putting up a front before my husband, and ask his forgiveness when I mess up.”

Authenticity says:  “I’m not intimidated to speak about the passion I have within me for my Savior in front of my unsaved husband.

Oops!  I guess I didn’t ace the chapter after all.

Oh, God, forgive me.  I now see that the passion I have within me for Jesus needs to spill out of my mouth “naturally.”  I know not to preach and nag at my husband, nor run my mouth off like a “religious freak.”  But, I now see that I have become unbalanced in my efforts to say “not a word,” and have quenched my passion for you.

I hear you saying, “Come on Martha, you need to get real!”

“Let your passion for me flow out of you like a soft stream of water flowing along the river bands – -sweetly and soothing.”

And now, let’s review what Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah had to say about Trading Perfection for Authenticity.

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Weekly Review

Monday:  Perfection for Authenticity / A Fine Linen Belt – Beverly had tried to be the “perfect” wife to her husband for years.  But, this week, she learned a lesson through Jeremiah’s linen belt. God had instructed Jeremiah to take his belt off and hide it in rocks near a river.  When Jeremiah retrieved the belt, the elements had ruined it and it was completely useless.

Beverly compared this to allowing certain “elements” to damage our relationship with our husbands to the point that we are no longer being the living representation of Christ in our homes.

Beverly challenges us in the following ways to reflect and show our husbands God:

Our heart – -what is in there

Our minds – -what she is thinking

Our soul – -what are our desires

May we accept the challenge.

Tuesday:  A Confession – Jennifer asks us some thought provoking questions concerning how we live our lives in front of our unsaved husbands.

How often do you let your husband see the not-so-Christian parts of you?

Do you fear that you might “look bad” or “un-Christian” if you are authentic?

Do you think you might give Jesus a “bad name?

Jennifer suggests reasons why we might be having problems in this area, such as:

My husband might laugh at me

My husband might mock me

My husband might say I’m not really a Christian

My husband thinks I should be perfect if I’m a Christian

My husband’s words might hurt my feelings

Jennifer challenges us to:  Lay down the idol of perfection.  We cannot be an authentic warrior for Christ if we pretend to have it all together.  It is through our authenticity that Christ uses us to reach other people with the Good News of His saving grace.

May we accept this challenge.

Wednesday:  Heart Tablets – Donna points to the scripture Dineen brought out in 2 Cor. 2:3 as humbling her.  In this verse, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse.

From this verse, Donna saw that the Spirit of God has reached down and written on her heart.  These reflections from her heart can now be reflected to her un-saved loved ones who does not listen to fleshly efforts of nagging, crying, begging, and anger when she witnesses to them.

Donna makes a very valid point to think about:  Would you listen to someone who is hassling you?  Would you see a loving, caring God in that kind of tone?

She challenges us to:

Take a step back in our marriage.

Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next.

Let yourself be God’s love letter to them.

May we accept this challenge.

Thursday:  Sacrificial Giving – Sarah, uses Dineen’s idea of the perfect gift to give our husbands for Valentine gift, instead of chocolates.  It comes in the form making a listing of the things that she would not do to her husband anymore.  Just plain and simple:

No Nagging

No Expectations

No False Assumptions

No Resentment

Sarah leaves it with each of us to determine where in stand on these matters.  It is definitely food for thought as a means of Sacrificial Giving.

May we expect the challenge and do likewise.

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us about being real this week.  Help us to get rid of any hang-ups in our lives that are preventing us from representing Jesus before our husband, be he saved or unsaved.  Help us to live our lives before him according to 1 Peter 3.  In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.

 

Your Assignment:

Think back over the week and name one thing you definitely know you should start immediately doing to be authentic with your husband.

 

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

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Winning Him Without Words – Heart Tablets

November 7, 2012 by

“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on human hearts.”

2 Corinthians: 2-3

What is my message to the unbelieving loved ones in my life? What can I communicate with my actions today? Am I willing to let the Holy Spirit make his mark on me for the benefit of my unsaved loved ones?

I re-wrote these questions from the book and only changed them to make them personal for me. I needed to do that so I could ponder them and claim them for my life, so I could examine myself from them. Do I leave a Godly message for my loved ones? Are my actions motivated by my love of the Savior? Or are my actions done with the motivation that I can save them?? I pray not.

In our scripture today, God says we are a letter from Christ to our spouse. That because of our ministry to them they can have the Spirit of God written on their hearts if they accept Him. I’m humbled by that. Not only has the Spirit of God reached down and written on my heart, I can reflect Him in my words and actions. If they, our spouse, see this lived out in us, we could be the vessel God uses to bring them to Him! It is also somewhat daunting as well. But then I remember what Dineen says: “We can find tremendous comfort in the sense that it isn’t up to us to know what to say or how to say it.”  We have the Holy Spirit in us that helps us do that. We don’t have to rely on ourselves and be bogged down with what to do or say. That is a relief, and it gives us more reason to pray and stick close to God.

How many times have I tried to push the issue with them? Nagged and cried and begged?? Or even just sat back and was angry because they wouldn’t listen? Oh Boy!! I can think of many times! Not letting the Holy Spirit guide me, just pushing ahead without any direction at all! I need to stop and think, Would I listen to someone who is hassling me like this? Would I see a loving, caring God in that tone? I’m thinking  NOT!  What I need to remember in that moment is that I leave a permanent impression on my loved one whenever I am speaking to them.

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke, we see the father in this story giving his son free will and an early inheritance. Off goes the son and blows all the money then hires himself out a s slave to someone because of a famine in the land. He ends up feeding PIGS!! Even desiring the food he is feeding them! He finally comes to his senses and remembers that even his father’s hired hands have food to spare. So he goes home and repents, offers himself up to his father as a slave and what does the father do?? He throws his arms around his son and quickly organizes a party for him. How awesome is that? Now, obviously, this is my own interpretation of this Parable but as I read it I’m thinking I don’t hear his father begging him to stay or crying or nagging. No he just gives the son what he wants and let’s him go. I have to believe the son was brought up in a believing household. I’m sure he probably prayed his heart out, like any parent would, that he would return to him. And because the father lived out his faith and wrote on his heart, the son realized what the truth was and returned home to the father.

What I’m trying to get at here is that maybe taking a step back in our marriage. Don’t worry about planning what to say or do next. Let yourself be God’s love letter to them. Let the heart of Christ radiate out of you for them to see. We don’t have to worry about what to say. We just need to be willing vessels, ready to give God’s grace in the moment. God can only use us when we  yield to Him. Give them freedom to choose for themselves because of that reflection.

Purpose in your heart to be God’s message to your husband. Communicate love and grace to them ” letting the Holy Spirit make his mark on you for the benefit of your Husband.” When you do this you are honoring God and your husband. Ask yourself those questions at the beginning of our chapter and make them personal by putting your and your spouses names in them. Then implement that answer and let God shine through you!

Let’s pray:

God thank you for writing on our hearts today. We ask that you would radiate your Spirit through  us and let us have the honor of being your vessel and tool in the salvation of our spouses. May they only see you and not us. Give us willing hearts to be able to do this. Show us and give us the exact words and things to do to make this happen. You are faithful and loving. We praise you today for all that you are doing and will do. In Jesus name I pray – Amen

Your assignment:

I am purposing to do what Dineen says in the first paragraph of our chapter today-speak words of love to my husband and reflect Christ while doing so. What can you do that will speak to your husband today and how will you do it??

God’s blessings on your day,

Donna

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If you are interested in joining this “Winning Him Without Words” online bible study, please click HERE to complete the sign-up form.  You will need to purchase the book in order to follow along with us.  You can find details for the book on our sign-up form.

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Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection for Authenticity – A Fine Linen Belt

November 5, 2012 by

This was another difficult chapter for me this week and I kept struggling with what God would have me to share with all of you. God is beginning to open buried places inside me that I have buried for years and I know that I have tried to be the “perfect” wife over all these years instead of what God showed me thru this lesson which is “Beverly I want you to be the authentic wife”, the woman who shows her true self that you were the day you said “I do”.   The one I want your husband to “see” because when he “sees” that, he will then see “me”.   Oh what an epiphany He showed me tonite about how sometimes I do just “show” God instead of “live” God in front of my husband.

In today’s lesson, we find a very interesting illustration.  God tells Jeremiah to buy a new linen belt and wear it around his waist. At that time, a linen belt was an intimate piece of clothing, comparable to the underwear of today.  After Jeremiah wore the belt, God directed him to take it off and hide it in some rocks near a river.  Several days later, God told Jeremiah to return to Perath and retrieve the belt.

After sitting in the elements, the belt that was once perfect and clean was ruined and completely useless.

The belt was symbolic of the people of Judah.  They were once a people who were close to God, just as the belt was once close to Jeremiah.  Over time, the people of Judah allowed pride to come into their hearts, and this pride was as damaging to the people of Judah as the elements were to the belt.  Eventually, that pride ruined them and rendered them completely useless to God.

If we are not careful,  we will be like the people of Judah in our marriages, we can allow the “elements” to damage our relationship with our husband.  We can start to feel alone, left out, like we are just two people living in the same home together but separate and pretty soon, we end up ruined and completely useless as someone who can reach inside our husbands lives and hearts.    We need to make sure we “stop and pay attention” to what we are saying and doing in our marriage and being sure we are being the living representation of Christ in our homes.

That doesn’t mean being perfect, it means being authentic!

As I was with my mom and sister this weekend during one of our bible study evenings my mom broke down and shared some things in her life that happened about 50 years ago that she had no idea that either of us knew, it was so relieving to finally hear her tell this story.   I have been knowing this about 15 years, however, she had no idea that I knew.    She finally had some break thru moments that evening, because she was being “authentic” with us after all these years.

Here are a few things that came to my mind as I studied this lesson that I think we need to be reflecting and showing our husbands:

  • Our hearts – what is in there
  • Our minds – what are we thinking
  • Our soul – what are our desires

Understand I know that some of our husbands may not want to hear these things, but if we approach him at the right time and in the right demeanor (meaning we have taken it to God first before we hit him with it)   I truly believe he will be more receptive to hearing our authentic selves and not the pretend tiptoeing around spouse we are currently being.   As Dineen shared with us; I also know that many of us don’t have the freedoms to voice our beliefs to our husband but we can live boldly through our actions, and through knowing Christ is there with us thru every moment to speak to us and lead the decisions and our words.

Let’s pray:

God I pray for each lady this week as we stop and pay attention to what each day and each moment in our marriage is saying to us and that You help us to be effective  “fine linen belts” in our homes. In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:

Dineen shared with us that she asked God to connect the dots with this story He gave her in this chapter about how it related to being unequally yoked, and He gave her a picture of how the believing spouse can be that fine linen belt….    So after you read this lesson “trading perfection for authenticity” did God show you something specific to help “you” connect dots for your marriage, if so would you share your thoughts with us today.

 

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Trade Perfection With Authenticity

November 4, 2012 by

 

Trading Perfection for Authenticity — WOW!  What a chapter!  So much of this chapter stood out to me in ways that really caused me to think about my actions toward my husband.  It caused me to ask myself if my actions toward him were speaking the love of Christ, or the selfishness of Christi?  OUCH!!

Dineen said on page 100 that God has equipped us with the Holy Spirit to accomplish the things that He wants and needs for us to do.  All we need to do is listen and obey Him; be willing vessels for God to use in reaching our unsaved loved ones.  We should be encouraged to know that God can use each of us, in this way!!  As Dineen said, “He doesn’t “need” to; He “chooses” to!  He could change our husband all on His own, if He wanted to.  But He chose to use US, You and I, to be Jesus with skin-on to our unbelieving spouse, right here and right now!  I LOVE that!!!!

I won’t go further into this subject because it will be taking away from one of our bloggers this week who will be covering this topic.  But what I do want to do is share a video with you that I found.  It is an interview that is done with Lynn Donovan and a friend who is talking about how God used her to witness to her husband through the power of the Holy Spirit!  It’s a great video!!   I hope you will take the time to watch it all the way through!

You will find the link to this video HERE.  

PLEASE take the time to watch it!!  It will be worth the time!! I promise!

Before I give you your reading assignment, I do have a couple of questions for you.  Do you have a personal relationship with Christ?  Have you prayed for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?  Two very important questions because we need both in our lives in order to love our spouses the way God intended.  I know for myself that without the Holy Spirit, I would not be as effective in my marriage!!

I know this study is for women who are married to an unsaved spouse, but I don’t want to assume that each one of you have accepted Christ as your Savior.  If not, and you would like someone from our prayer team to pray with you, please send us an email to Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. One of our prayer team members will contact you and pray with you!!

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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 5 –  

Perfection for Authenticity / A Fine Linen Belt – Beverly

Nov 6 –

A Confession – Jennifer

Nov 7 –

Heart Tablets – Donna

Nov 8 –

Sacrificial Giving – Sarah

Nov 9 –

Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I am so thankful for You in my life, and in the lives of each of the marriages represented here today. Lord, I lift each marriage to You today, and I ask for Your special blessings to pour out onto each husband and wife, and upon our unsaved loved ones.  I ask Lord that You give each wife wisdom and direction in how to love her husband unconditionally.  I ask that You teach each wife Lord, how to submit and not to be afraid to submit to her husband.  Lord, reveal to her to that submitting to her husband is also submitting to You, Lord, because this is what You instruct us to do!

Holy Spirit, I invite You into each marriage that is represented here.  Indwell us with Your power as we learn to be the submissive wife the Lord calls us to be.  Holy Spirit, I pray for each woman who is reading this today and I ask that You speak to each heart.  For those who have not invited You into their heart, I pray their hearts will be nudged today, and they will seek You knowing now that in their own weakness, You can provide the strength they need to be the authentic wife we are each called to be!  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

Be Blessed,

Christi

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