February 25, 2025

Winning Him Without Words: Travel The Road of Forgiveness

November 20, 2012 by

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Bitterness, resentment and anger over unmet needs. These are all kindling for unforgiveness and I have gathered them all. When someone does something that hurts me, I am unable to tell them. Confrontation is too difficult for me. I am a “nice” person and a “nice” person does not argue or complain. That is unless you are my husband. When he does something to irritate me, I’m all about letting him know about it. It’s that “word” thing again! My mouth opens like a flood gate and all sorts of “you should’ve known better” and “you don’t care about me” accusations come bursting out. In the world, people say releasing that anger is cleansing. But not me. After I lose my temper I am left with feelings of guilt. I know I shouldn’t act that way and I am embarrassed of my actions. That guilt turns into resentment towards my husband because if he hadn’t made me mad in the first place, I wouldn’t be feeling so lousy now. So I stay angry, resentful and bitter and can’t even fathom forgiving my husband for making me angry.

Ugh. How exhausting that kind of marriage can be. So to change this endless cycle I have had to pray, and I’ve had to pray HARD because forgiveness is hard! When you feel jilted your human instinct is to get even, it’s the insult for insult, eye for an eye mentality. But God doesn’t want you to act like that. He wants you to give it to Him!

Especially when you are trying to speak with your unbelieving spouse. I recently had a discussion with a friend who is an unbeliever. I was astounded that he truly does not believe in God and I know he was just as perplexed with my views. It makes it very hard to have a civil discussion when both sides believe so strongly in their views, doesn’t it? Insulting, angry words will be tossed around, tempers will escalate, feelings will get hurt. Things may be said that are very hard to forgive. And like I said above, forgiveness is hard, but not if you ask God for his help. Turn to Him and tell him of your hurts and ask Him to help you forgive your husband. By turning to God you are given the power of the Holy Spirit and through Him you can do all things! Even forgive!

When you forgive you gain freedom. Freedom from the hurt feelings, freedom from the frustration and anger. He takes it all from you and leaves you free to just love your husband as he is, because after all, that is what God wants us to do. He doesn’t want you to worry about your unsaved spouse anymore. Leave that to God & be your husbands fine linen rope.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, forgiveness is a hard thing to do, but we know how important it is, not only for a healthy marriage, but also for a healthy mind and body. Unforgiveness can eat away at us like a cancer if we let it. Reveal to us Lord the areas of unforgiveness in our marriage and help us to give them to You. Help us to heal from the past hurts and replace that pain with the feeling of freedom! In your precious name, Jesus, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Below I’d like you to talk about an area of unforgiveness in your marriage that  you may be holding onto. We will all pray with you to release it to God!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Wait – Ditches of Discontentment

November 20, 2012 by

 

“Then Naomi said, ‘Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today’” (Ruth 3:18 NIV).

Wouldn’t you want to have a mother-in-law like Naomi on your side to give you words of wisdom when it comes to matters concerning marriage?  Especially when the most eligible bachelor in town has told you that He would do whatever you want.

Waiting for what you want is difficult but it is the most rewarding thing any single woman can do in order to avoid discontentment.  So many of us have been led on by men who made promises which they knew they would not keep.

Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones address ways that we as women have been defrauded by such men of ill intention.  The word to defraud means to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

Many of us have fallen prey to men who have whispered sweet nothings to us and we have been led to believe that we are the center of their world only to found out later on that we were not the only ones these words were being spoken to.  I know of a man who called every girl “sweetheart” or “sweetie”.  When asked how many sweethearts he had he explained that he called his sister “sweetheart” so he considered every girl his sister.  Imagine the heartbreak of the girls when they heard that he thought of them as his sisters and not something more.

There is a recent type of defrauding that is going on called “friends with benefits” where boys and girls especially in colleges, or young men and women do not set any boundaries as to what they do in their relationships.  They even move in together and live as if they married.  The sad part about this set up is the emotions that a young woman puts into such a relationship.  I don’t believe a young woman can live with a man, share everything including a bed and say that such a relationship has “no strings attached”.  There are strings attached to this, where you like it or not, your heart is not detached to you when you are living in this environment.  A woman cannot be honest with herself if she says she is content living in this situation.  What happens when the man decides he is not ready to move this further and he is happy with the status quo?  Where does that live you?  Honestly which man wouldn’t be happy when he finds hot food on his table every time he arrives home from work or class, clean clothes nicely folded for him to pick and wear?  You literally wait on him hand and foot yet the only word he said was “let’s move in together” and not “let’s get married.”  The man gains everything at the expense of the woman who gives more than herself to play house with a man.

Unfortunately, this scenario is not only found in Hollywood movies but even among the Christian circles.  Many single women are falling into this trap which only leads to discontentment.  The Lord does not want us to sell ourselves short because we feel time is not our side.  Let us wait upon the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts.  Running ahead of the Lord will only lead us to discontentment and we will want to dig a hole and hide because we find ourselves in a situation where we wonder how we got there in the first place.

Naomi did not want Ruth to be overly excited and begin making orders for her “Vera Wang” wedding dress or choosing who is going to be her maid of honor or to begin planning a guest list.  She wanted her to wait and see how things will turn out with Boaz.  This is one woman to be applauded for having such wisdom.  Imagine if the other kinsman redeemer was willing to redeem Ruth and she has already told the world who she was going to marry!

When we are in a dating relationship, it’s so difficult to heed to the wise words of others; we seem to be walking on cloud nine and whenever someone says something we do not like we close our ears and words of wisdom enter through one ear and go out of the other ear.  It’s like all over sudden we are deaf to advise.  All we want to hear is how we look great together and how beautiful our children will be.  We only surround ourselves with people who agree with us and not those who want to tell us to slow down and concentrate on building a friendship.  It’s sad to hear “I told you so” when we come face to face with failed relationship.

As our writers clearly puts it:  “Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. This creates emotional turmoil for many women, making it difficult to wait with contentment. Postpone talk of a future together, marriage, or what kind of home you want, until engagement. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.”

Let us not fall into ditches of discontentment by allowing every Jim and Jack to mess with our hearts.  Don’t become too desperate so as to fall prey to their schemes.   Let us guard our hearts because out of them springs of water will flow.  Let us wait for what God has in store for us for Proverbs 10:22 says “the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, we thank you so much for you love us so much that you want us live a life that is full and content.  Jesus came that we should have life in abundance.  However, we also let the enemy use others to come and steal, kill and destroy the joy and contentment that you died for us to have.  Help us to take back this joy so that we may wait patiently for what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A contented woman has the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing life on her terms. Are you a contented woman? (Read Judges 21:25, Luke 1:38, and Matthew 26:39.)

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 1 – You Can Choose the Right Guy to Date

November 19, 2012 by

When I was younger I liked guys all of the time, but I never dated any of them.  In fact they never knew I liked them and it was ok because they never liked me.  Anytime I would talk about guys and my dad would over hear he would say, “Is he a Christian?”  I used to get so annoyed with my dad for throwing in that comment any time I would talk about something as simple as a crush on the cute guy with a pretty smile in my math class.  Only after I started dating someone who was most certainly not a Christian did I wish I would have listened to the advice my dad had given me on dating years prior.

As a teenager it is so hard to truly want to listen to your parents.  You hear what they say, but you want to figure things out for your own.  You want to take risks; they want to stop you from that type of behavior.  You want to try new things; they want to tell you not to because they have been there done that and you just should not be doing certain things.  Even though we cannot see it at the time, our parents are stopping us from things because they love us.  They do not want to see us make mistakes.  I know I wish I would have listened to my parents more than I did.

I know the feeling you get when you find out a guy likes you.  I know how good attention from guys can feel.  There is one feeling that is way beyond what those ones may feel like: the love God has for you.  Do you know how good that feels?  If you do not know, I highly suggest that you spend some time getting to know God so you can find out first hand just how amazing it is!  When we truly know God’s love for us, it will make us want to find the man God has for us and not settle for any guy that thinks we are pretty or who gives us attention from time to time.

Have you ever thought about what you want in a man?  Have you ever thought about what a relationship should be like?  Try writing down a list of qualities that you would like in a man.  (See page 105 and 2 Corinthians 7:1)Keep that list and pray about it to God.  When you are in a relationship ask yourself, honestly, does this relationship bring you closer to God or pull you away from Him?  If you hold out for a man who has the qualities you have been praying for- chances are you will grow closer and closer to God together!  Any relationship that brings you closer to God is definitely a good one to have.

Personally, I struggled with dating.  I never thought that there were men out there that would be what I wanted (someone who loves God, goes to church, reads the Bible, is kind to others, and will love me as Christ wants someone to love me).  So, as my high school years came and gone, I decided that I needed to change my standards.  I ended up settling for an older man who was not a Christian.  GIRLS, this was the biggest mistake I have ever made.  I ended up stuck in an abusive relationship.  I KNOW now that waiting for the man God has for us-a good guy who is devoted to God will come our way!  God will bring you together in His timing.  It is so important to hold out for that man.  And the best part is while you wait-you have the opportunity to grow closer to God and experience so much of the perfect love He has for you!

Please remember that you are not defined by what guys say or by how they make you feel, if you are getting attention from them, or getting no attention at all.  The only thing you are defined by is the love Jesus has for YOU!  You have the privilege to CHOOSE the man you go on a date with.  Make sure you make God apart of your choosing process.  Praying to Him to lead you to the right man will save you from heartache and the pain of dating the wrong one!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you so much that you love us with unconditional love that no man will ever be able to replace.  I love that you have handpicked a man for us if that is your will in our lives.  I pray that these girls and I are able to hold out for this man.  I pray that we never settle for less than the best you have for us.  As these girls start to date, I pray that they choose wisely the men they bring into their lives.  May they seek you in each decision they make.  We love you so much and thank you for guarding our hearts.  AMEN!

Much Love to YOU all,

Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Lady In Waiting: Contentment – The Torture of Desire – The Capacity to Wait

November 19, 2012 by

 

God gave this section of the book to me.  I couldn’t be more sure.  Some of the words the authors use are the exact same ones I said to my friend just two days ago.  I struggle with contentment.  It is an area where I think, “I got this!” just to stumble when an email isn’t returned or I lay alone in bed crying a few days or weeks later.  So many times I think I have surrendered this issue to Him.  Then I feel like I failure when I find myself doing things that take me out of God’s will regarding being single.

Can anyone relate?  I love the example they use to define suffering: “Having what you do not want (singleness), and wanting what you do not have (a husband).”  Now I know and understand that not everyone feels that suffering, but for those that do, how do you cope with such a longing?  If you continue to focus on what you do not have, you will always feel that loss and discontentment.  We need to start putting our focus on God and all that we DO have.  Something jumped off the page and practically knocked me over the head when I read it: If you are presently discontent as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future. You know what?  Life is never on our terms, God’s plans will always be hard to understand, and we cannot get caught up in the downward spiral of negativity and “not haves” no matter what stage we are in life.  Starting to renew and transform our minds to this fact are the beginning stages of finding contentment in the Lord and His plans.  The verse that immediately came to mind was Romans 8:28.  I love the way The Message states it: That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  If we trust in that, contentment comes a lot easier.

Ruth had every reason to feel discontentment.  Instead of wallowing in her circumstances and focusing on the loss of her husband and leaving her people, she chose to cling to the God whom she trusted despite everything that had happened.  In following God’s leading and working in the fields every day, Boaz was brought to her.  Even in this situation, with Boaz seemingly ready to “do all Ruth asks”, Naomi cautions Ruth to wait and see how everything actually turns out.  Instead of getting caught up in all the excitement she is asked to sit back and wait and see what Boaz actually does.  Wouldn’t that be hard to do?  God calls us to wait often.  Most of the time we don’t know why, but we need to place our trust in Him fully and completely and believe that it will be worked into something good.  Be content ladies.  Focus on the good.  Be grateful.  The “torture” will lessen and the waiting won’t seem so bad.

LET’S PRAY

Father God, you love each and every woman reading these words.  You have a plan for each of us.  Sometimes it is hard not knowing what that plan is, but I pray today that we remember your faithfulness rather than focusing on what we don’t have.  You have provided for us, you have gifted us, and that is where we want to fixate.  Please help renew our minds so that the waiting and our circumstances are not what we focus each day, but all the blessings that you have given us that day.  Thank you for your never ending care.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Today I want you to list 5 blessings you are grateful for.  If you can relate them to your single life, even better!  We have to remember that this season in life is not all misery and negativity; God gives us many gifts through our single life, things that not everyone else can necessarily experience at other stages of life.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Move from Hurt to Healing – The Seasons of Marriage

November 19, 2012 by

The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?

Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:

Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.

Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.

Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.

Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.

As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.

This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.

Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check  and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.

Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.

Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….

Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..

As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were,  as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”.   The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn.   You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.

You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God.  The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time  in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.

We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy.   We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.

Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.

Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!

Let’s Pray:

God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray.  Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,

Beverly

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Contentment (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by

 

Precious girlfriends, how are you doing?  I hope you are allowing the truths that we are learning in this Bible study transform your life to the glory of the Lord.  I am so blessed to hear from some of you how the study is making you grow into the women that God wants you to be.  I can also testify that this book is life changing and I am learning so many new things from each chapter.

This week we are going to learn how to become a Lady of Contentment.  This chapter will help us answer questions like – How does one become content as a single woman in a world full of couples?  How do you help a friend who starts planning a wedding just after a first date?  Have you been defrauded by yourself or a boyfriend?  Do you know what the Eleventh Commandment is?

The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 teaches us the Secret to Contentment.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

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Here is our reading assignment for Week 8

November 19:

Lady of Contentment / Torture of Desire / Capacity to Wait – Michelle


November 20:

Wait / Ditches of Discontentment – Jackie


November 21:

11th Commandment / Prenuptial Fantasies – Tonya


November 22:

Spiritual Monitor – Tonya


November 23:

Mystery of Contentment / Stop Arguing with the Umpire – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Our Heavenly Father, we thank You each day for leading us to this Bible Study.  Thank You for teaching us new truths that are helping us become the women You desire us to be.  As we continue in this study, we ask You to continue to transform our minds so that we can be content with our lives as the Apostle Paul was.  We ask all this in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Winning Him Without Words: Key #8 – Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons of Marriage (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by


I am really looking forward to this week’s chapter. There is a lot to dig into and what better time to talk about forgiveness in our marriages than during Thanksgiving week? The time we sit down with our loved ones to give thanks for all that we have. Take some time to soak in this chapter as your go about your Thanksgiving preparations. Ask God to meet you where  you are and for His help to overcome any unforgiveness you are experiencing.
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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 19
2 Cor 1:3 Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons in Marriage
– Beverly

Nov 20
Travel the Road of Forgiveness
– Sarah

Nov 21
A Front Row Seat / Discovery / Prayer
–  Martha

Nov 22
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

Nov 23
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

 

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Let’s Pray: Lord, forgiveness is hard. But we know that we are commanded to forgive because you first forgave us. Help us to lay aside our own feelings and to truly forgive our spouse for any wrongdoing they may have committed against us. Please heal the bitterness and resentment that have taken root in our hearts which have prevented us from forgiving. Reveal your will to us, Father. Meet us where we are as we go into this week. Give us peace and strength and help us to place our full trust in You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lord, Teach Us to Pray – Week 8

November 17, 2012 by


Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray!  Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — “Teach {me} to pray”?

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray.  I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who delight, yearn, love to pray to their Father!!!  This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….”

Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

Pray, therefore, like this:

Our Father

Who is in heaven,

hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,

and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

And lead (bring) us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of  importance—”Who is in heaven.”  This attribute tells of the utmost importance of God Who is in heaven.  And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.

Then we came to the third aspect, as we followed Jesus’ instruction,— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.”  And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where Almighty God is described as holy: we saw the Psalmist proclaim that ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed  ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’  What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

After that we looked at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important—‘Your Kingdom come.’  We considered the question, “What is the Kingdom?” by focusing on just two ways to understand what Jesus meant.  The first connotation that “Kingdom” has refers to the eternal Kingdom.  And then to understand “Kingdom” in another way, we looked specifically at Matthew chapter 13  where Jesus spoke in parables and used tangible examples to help His disciples (and us!) to understand the importance of having the Kingdom established in our hearts.  He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him.

The following week we focused on another aspect of Jesus’ instruction: ‘Your will be done.’  It is Almighty God’s will that we are to be concerned about…not our own.  We considered scripture after scripture and saw our Lord’s constant example showing that it was not His will that was important but His Father’s.  If it were ever possible for anyone to justifiably state and act on their own will, it would have been Jesus; true?  Jesus always desired His Father’s will, always sought His Father’s will, always purposed to know His Father’s will so that He always did His Father’s will.  And what did we find was His Father’s will?—salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ.  We were assured that at the very foundation of God’s will lies our hope, which is salvation through Jesus leading to eternal life.

And the next week we studied the phrase ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ from the perspective of our Lord’s life and ministry.  In John 6:38 we read that Jesus came down from heaven not to do His own will but to do the will of His Father on the earth.  Jesus was always the perfect example to His disciples, and of course, to us.  We, too, can live with that same heart as Jesus did.  God has promised to lead us, to guide us, to show us His Will.  We looked at a number of promises that God has given us regarding our knowing His will.  Jesus, Who knew His heavenly Father like no one else did, desired to do God’s will.  God’s perfect will.  He simply and clearly taught His disciples AND US to do the same. 

Last week we considered the phrase, “Give us this day our daily bread.”  We recognized that Jesus IS the ‘bread of life.”  We looked at John chapter 6 where Jesus spoke repeatedly about this.  We clearly saw Jesus’ heart of compassion, wanting them (and us!) to live forever by partaking of the Bread of Life—Himself—and receiving that blessing.  We also looked at  Jesus’ instruction that if they would pray, “give us this day our daily bread…” they would be humbly acknowledging that their heavenly Father already KNEW what their needs would be that day.  For us, just like Jesus’ disciples, it is when we recognize our immense need for God’s provision that we step back from trying to accomplish it (whatever ‘it’ may be for that day) and let the One Who has so much to give to us provide so perfectly for us!  Let’s remember: Jesus answered their plea to teach them to pray, and in the midst of that instruction, He directed them to pray, “give us this day our daily bread.”  Then, He gently reminded them that God already provided that daily bread for them!  (AND for us!)

Here in week eight, we are focusing on the next direction Jesus gave as He taught His disciples (and now us!) to pray.  It is the request to “…forgive us our debts.”

In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus addressed the issue of forgiveness in two different ways.  The first occurrence is recorded in verses 21,22:

“Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?  Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!”

Oh boy!  Can’t you just picture Peter’s jaw dropping?  I’m thinking that is not exactly the answer he imagined the Lord would give him, right?  But that was, and is, our Lord’s response.  Nothing has changed.  We, too, are to forgive “…seventy times seven…”  (In other words, just keep on forgiving!)

Jesus goes on to give further clarification and direction to Peter along with the other disciples about this important issue of forgiveness.   We are going to look at verses 21-35; you can either open your Bible, or follow this link to read this entire record.  <http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018:23-35&version=AMP>

Jesus tells quite a story in this parable!  He hold nothing back in communicating that forgiveness, or the refusal to forgive, is an issue of the heart.  See how He portrays the king towards the man who owed him much money.

“And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt” (verse 27).

Wow!  This king was owed over 10,000 talents.  A talent was an amount of money used in Jesus’ day and time.  Biblical scholars do not agree on the total equivalent in today’s monetary value.  I’ve seen it quoted in the range of $10,000,000 to $3 billion.  But we can say with certainty that 10,000 talents was a vast amount of money to owe.  The king had every right and reason to imprison the man for his failure to repay.  He didn’t; he forgave him the entire debt out of a heart of compassion.  This is forgiveness.

As Jesus continues, He depicts this man (the servant) now going to his fellow attendant and demanding what was owed to him.  It is NOT with a similar attitude of forgiveness that he addresses his peer.  Rather, it is with a hardened, merciless heart that he refuses to forgive and, instead, he (the original, forgiven servant) has the man (his fellow attendant) thrown into prison until he can repay this small debt.

The record continues as we see the king (the master) call the first man back to him, and chastise him for being pitiless and merciless toward his fellow attendant.  The king then does have him thrown in jail because of his contemptible attitude and lack of forgiveness to his fellow attendant.

And then Jesus clearly states His second point.

“So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses” (verse 35).

God through Christ has forgiven us for so, SO much!  And He compassionately, mercifully, and lovingly continues to forgive us as we repent and ask.

Colossians 2:13,14

And you who were dead in trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your flesh (your sensuality, your sinful carnal nature), [God] brought to life together with [Christ], having [freely] forgiven us all our transgressions,

Having cancelled and blotted out and wiped away the handwriting of the note (bond) with its legal decrees and demands which was in force and stood against us (hostile to us). This [note with its regulations, decrees, and demands] He set aside and cleared completely out of our way by nailing it to [His] cross.

Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So.  <3

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This week, in our study A Daughter’s Worth, we have been focusing on family relationships and their importance in our growth as Christians.  Forgiveness is a foundational need among family members.  We have so much need to be continually forgiven, as well as we must extend much forgiveness to our parents and siblings.

Ask yourself:  ______ (insert your name here), how much worth do I have if God has so graciously and mercifully forgiven me for my sins?  How much worth do I have if  Jesus was willing to die for me so that I could have forgiveness of my sins?   <3

“…Forgive us our debts….”

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 16, 2012 by

Hello!  This week, since Martha is out of town, I will be offering our Weekly Review of Chapter 7 of Winning Him Without Words!  I hope you don’t mind!  I know Martha has been doing an amazing job with your Weekly Review, and I can only hope I come close!! 🙂

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Monday:  Beverly shared on the blog.

  • She began by asking the question, “Is it really necessary to win an argument?”  Then she asked “why?”
  • We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.
  • Our husband needs to see that God has changed us.
  • We need to surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage.
  • Let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!
  • It’s OKAY to agree to disagree!!

Tuesday:  Jennifer shared on the blog.

  • We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives.
  • when hurt, pain, bitterness, and anger take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you.
  • Jesus is not going to force you to live in negative emotions.  However, He does not want you to live there!
  • Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband.
  • This change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
  • God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU!

Wednesday:  Donna shared on our blog.

  • Death and life are in the power in the tongue, and we will eat its fruit.  Proverbs 18:21
  • We must speak our words carefully.
  • We have the ability to tear down or build up.
  • We will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken
  • The Father feeds us words of LIFE!
  • We should purpose every day to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands.

Thursday: Sarah shared on our blog.

  • A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.
  • Men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.
  • When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men.
  • When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.
  • Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you are not droning on and on without ever making a clear point.
  • Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor”.
  • How do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up?
  • God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out.
  • You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

And that leaves us with Friday… today! I want to finish this week by sharing with you the prayer that Lynn wrote at the end of this chapter.  I believe it says a lot more than I ever could!  I hope you have enjoyed this book, so far.  We have just a few more weeks left and we will then take a break for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.  We will be sharing a preview of our next study with you soon.  So be sure to continue to check in with us daily!

Let’s Pray:

Father, today I surrender my husband wholly to You.  I am relinquishing my desire to save my husband, and I ask You to take Your rightful place in seeking and saving him for eternity.

Lord, show me the areas of conflict I need to stand upon as well as issues I can surrender and trust You to handle.  You tell us in Your Word that if we need wisdom, we should ask You for it and You will be generous in giving it to us. (James 1:5)

Lord, place in my mind Your wisdom that I may be the peacemaker and the one to help resolve conflict with my spouse.  Jesus, our words have the power of life and death, of cutting and healing.  Form this day forward, place a new awareness in my heart to be mindful of the words I speak to others.  Place Your words in my conscious and unconscious mind so that only words that are good and pleasing come from my lips.

Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight”.  (Psalm 19:14)

In Your powerful name, Jesus.  AMEN!

 

Be blessed & Be a Blessing to Others,

Christi

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Quitting the Hunt

November 16, 2012 by

Do you absolutely love this book yet??  I love it even more the second time around!  There is just page after page of truth, encouragement, and love.  The words I have searched for…there they are written on the page so matter of fact-ly.  With Jesus first and my boyfriend second, I will have lasting peace and security.  I absolutely love the wisdom behind each one of Debby’s words.  You may think this quote does not work for you because you do not have a boyfriend so there is no possible way you can be putting a boyfriend first before God, you are all good.  That is so WRONG!  For me, I do not have a boyfriend, but I can so easily see how I put the hunt for my boyfriend and eventually husband way above Jesus.

When we do this it may seem harmless, or impossible to stop.  There is something so important about truly putting God first: you receive his lasting peace and security.  Maybe if we have been feeling insecure lately, we can look at where we are finding our security.  Chasing after men will never lead to security or peace.  Those gifts from above are only available when we surrender the hunt to God and start chasing after all HE has for us!

Reading through Debby’s journal entries I felt quite convicted.  I have so gotten to that point in my life where all I could do was pick up the pieces of my broken heart and hand them over piece by piece to My Perfect Healer.  I too, have asked Jesus to keep my heart safe, guard it, keep the key, and give it to only the one who He has for me.  I made a pact with God that I would seek HIM first and when a man came along I would pray to Him alone to see if this would be the man to hold the key to my heart one day.  I was doing so well with this until I was about to turn 24.

The closer and closer it got to my 24th birthday the further and further I got away from that perfect security God had given me.  I wanted to be married by the time I was 25…there was no way now that this was going to happen because I am single at 24.  We all have our ideal futures, don’t we?  Please, tell me I am not the only one that had an idea of how they were going to meet their husband, how they were going to start dating, how he would propose, how they would be happy and married one day: sooner rather than later.    Has your ideal future ever come true?  I am here to tell you, unless your ideal future is completely in line with God’s future for you; it is never coming true.  You can stop wishing and hoping for something so miniscule compared to what God has for you: THE BEST YOU NEED.

Just so happens instead of a man, this study came into my life right after my 24th birthday.  This study has truly helped me through a struggle: a struggle of putting the hunt for my non-existent boyfriend over God.  This study was what I needed and what you need and God knew that!

This study is instrumental in keeping my focus on God and not on my husband.  It has helped me seek God more often.  It has helped me to find support from other ladies that are struggling with the same exact thing as me.  It has brought me closer to God.  It has made me realize that my ideal future is NOTHING compared to the ACTUAL future God has for me.  I am on a mission to embrace HIS future.  Where is your mission leading you: to YOUR ACTUAL ALMIGHTY GOD or to your ideal man you thought of one lonely night?

I want you to understand something as I write this to you ladies.  The reason I feel convicted is because I may have given God my heart, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it back from Him on several occasions.  It does not mean I do not struggle with being single and 24!!!  There is one image I see daily that almost always is a struggle to see.  A man and a woman holding hands walking together, sometimes her head is rested on his shoulder, but it doesn’t have to be just the hands in one gets me.  You see I have always wanted to hold hands with a man-my man.  When I see others doing what I want so badly to do I instantly think, “Lord, why can’t I have a man holding my hand as I walk down the street?  I am learning that I can have that man but I can also have the man God has for me.  I am waiting oh so patiently for the man who will one day be holding my hand in one and the key to my heart in the other.  As a lady in waiting I pray that YOU do the same.

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Let us Pray:  Lord, thank you that you give us so many blessings on a daily basis.  Thank you for your blessing of security that we find in you alone.  I pray that each and every one of us will be able to put down the ideal man and chase after receiving your many blessings.  I pray that we are able to support each other along our journey.  I thank you and praise you for bringing this group together.  I pray that you help all of us to be patient, waiting for your perfect timing in our lives.  We love you so incredibly much, Amen!

Your Assignment:  Please share with us-What is ONE THING you have learned/ gained from this study thus far?  What is the ONE thing that you see from couples that you struggle with on your journey as a lady in waiting?  In your quiet time-Pray to God, be honest with Him.  If you are ready give Him your heart.  If you are ready make a pact with Him about what you are going to do or not do to make sure God is put first, always.

Much love to you ladies,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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