November 23, 2024

Crazy Love: Chapter 7 – “Your Best Life…Later” (pp124-127)

February 21, 2013 by

Chap7_CL

“What are you doing right now that requires faith?”  That is a profound question posed to Mr. Chan in this part of our chapter today. For some of us, we are holding onto faith for our next breath. For some of us, faith is getting through another day. And yet for some of us, it’s doing what God has asked us to do, though it might not be something we’re comfortable with.  Whatever it is, I think it’s worth looking at and pondering.

I read chapter 58 of Isaiah and here are some things I am pondering:

The Israelites cried out to God and acted like they were a nation that was right with God and had not forsaken God’s commands when in reality they were just going through the motions of fasting because it was required of them at that time.

There was a whole host of things that God wanted for them listed in the chapter, for instance:

  • He wanted them to break the yoke of all that entangled them in the day and set the oppressed free!
  • God wanted them to share their food with the hungry.
  • He wanted healing for them.
  • He wanted them to not turn away from their own flesh and blood.
  • He wanted them to stop pointing fingers at each other.
  • And most of all He wanted them to honor the Sabbath.

He told them when they did these things they would take delight in the Lord.

And isn’t that still true today of us when we fast? We immerse ourselves in God, putting away all the things in our world that hinder us from meeting with God for a time. Isn’t our faith bigger when we’re done because we have dwelt in the presence of the Lord? We feel like we’ve heard from God and He has increased our faith, so we can step out and do more. God wants this for us! He wants us to shout His name from the rooftops unashamed! Living freely and able to share our faith whenever called upon is what God wants for us too!! We just need to grab hold of His hand and step out.

Are you ready………?

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Let’s Pray:

Father, I pray we can holdour hands out to You and take that step that leads us into bigger faith for You. Increase our faith as we are obedient to Your call so that we can do even more. Let us live freely as You want us to and serve others more. Thank You for Your faithfulness to us, Lord. In Jesus’ name, we pray.  Amen.

Your Assignment:

What steps can you take even today that God has been calling you to do that will grow your faith? Let us know so we can all pray for you as you step out in faith for God.

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If you would like to email a private message to Donna in regards to this blog, please email her at: Donna@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 7 – Maintaining the Momentum (pp 220-239)

February 21, 2013 by

Choice7_LHC


PRAY –
John Baker provides so much amazing information in this week’s Make the Choice section. He begins by giving examples on how we can pray using Scriptures, and how a prayer familiar to most of us (The Lord’s Prayer) relates to the choices we’ve been learning. I will be using portions of Baker’s examples for you today.

Scripture: Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be Your name…
Choice 1: Realize I am not God
Choice 2: Earnestly believe that God exists

Scripture: Your Kingdom come…
Choice 8: Yield myself to God to be used

Scripture: Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven…
Choice 5: Voluntarily submit to God’s changes

Scripture: Give us our daily bread…
Choice 3: Consciously choose to commit…to Christ’s care

Scripture: Forgive us our debts…
Choice 4: Openly examine and confess my faults

Scripture: As we have also forgiven our debtors…
Choice 6: Evaluate all my relationships

Scripture: And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one…
Choice 7: Reserve a daily time with God

WRITE –
Through the week’s study we have looked at ways to prevent relapse of our bad habits by creating a new habit of evaluation. This week’s “Write” choice is about evaluating four areas: physical, emotional, relational and spiritual.

Physical: What is your body telling you?

Emotional: What are you feeling? Use HEART to help you express what you are feeling.

H – am I hurting?
E – am I exhausted?
A – am I angry?
R – do I resent anyone?
T – am I tense?

Relational: Am I at peace with everyone?

Spiritual: Am I relying on God?

SHARE –
Share what you’ve written with your accountability partner. Work to develop a plan to recognize and resolve problems more quickly, to be aware of them sooner and take appropriate action.

Over the years, I’ve become more aware of how I tend to react emotionally, based on the feelings that a situation brings rather than the facts before me. Instead of looking rationally at a situation, I have the knee-jerk reaction and most often spout out something I later regret. And, when I’m tired, it’s even worse. On good days, I can recognize this before I open my mouth and I pause to consider the other person and what might be prompting them to act as they are. I try to remember that those around me are not “out to get me” and may just be having a bad day. It’s the basic lesson—it’s not about me!
But on my bad days , I am feeling unappreciated or taken for granted in an area of my life, and anything someone says that may bump against my views for the day will result in a conflict. How dare they say that to me…act that way towards me…assume that about me, and so on. In a flash, I resort to the negative thoughts, the relational strongholds that I’ve been working to rid myself of. And, it’s during those moments that turning to a trusted friend helps keep me grounded in the here and now. When you have the right person alongside you, they will point you back to God through Scriptural reminders and truths. They will help you focus on your identity as a child of God. They will call you out when you’re stuck in negativity and hold you to a higher standard. Sure, it can be uncomfortable because we want to feel what we feel just because we want to! But life has so much more to offer us. God wants so much more for us than to be ruled by our emotions.

Take time to reflect on the pattern of relapse with your partner: complacency, confusion, compromise, and catastrophe. Where do you get trapped most often?

For me, it is complacency; and Baker couldn’t have explained it any better, “We get comfortable. We’ve confessed our problem, we’ve started dealing with it, and we’ve made some progress. Then we get comfortable, and one day we stop praying about it and then we stop working at it” (page 207).

When the immediate need to fix something has been addressed, the urgency to continue working on it dissipates. It’s no longer urgent, and slowly the comfort settles in. But Jesus reminded us, “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Mark 14:38 NLT).

Even Paul tells us, “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12 NLT). So it’s not a situation that wasn’t expected to happen, but it is a situation that can be prevented.

Let’s Pray –
Lord, we thank You for loving us so much that You gave the greatest example of forgiveness through Your Son, Jesus. As we focus on creating dedicated time alone with You, let us remember to be still and know You. Timothy tells us that Your Word is “useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” Allow us to keep this focus and to develop a desire to know You even more. This journey to recovery from our habits, hang-ups, and hurts has not been easy, but we feel Your grace, love, and gentleness more each day. Amen.

Power Verses for Chapter 7:
1 Corinthians 10:12
Matthew 22:37-40
James 1:22
Colossians 3:16
Psalm 46:10
Psalm 107:15
2 Timothy 3:16
Hebrews 12:1

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Crazy Love: Chapter 7 – “Your Best Life…Later” (pp 119-124/Kindle LOC 1537-1606)

February 20, 2013 by

We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion – how can God’s love be in that person?

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings and he knows everything.

1 John 3:16-20 (emphasis mine)

There is one major theme that I pulled from this passage of Scripture.

Real love is an action, not a feeling.

Jesus gave up His life for us, SO we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters (1 John 3:16, emphasis mine).

The principles Jesus taught are contrary to the way our world works.

  • The world says we should look out for #1—ourselves. 
  • Jesus says that “there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13)

Often when we are called upon to help someone in need, we are looking at how it will help us—maybe we will get paid, or receive accolades/glory, or it will give us something to boast about to our family or friends. In other words, we are motivated by selfish desires rather than by love. But Jesus’ way says that serving others should come from a selfless, sacrificial heart. The closer we can align our heart with His by reading His Word and letting Him change us, the easier it will become to love others the way He loves us.

It is worth repeating that we absolutely cannot do this on our own. We need God to help us love others like He loves. We must ask Him to help us.

As Christians, we carry a huge responsibility—to show and to share the truth of God’s love to the rest of the world (Matthew 28:19-20). This is an incredibly difficult task when the world wants us to be like them—talk like them, act like them, and just “fit in” with them. But Jesus calls us to be different. His ways do not make sense to the rest of the world.  Followers of Christ should be known for the way they love—without judgment, criticism, or selfishness, but with compassion, selflessness, and sacrificial giving.

Let’s act on this selfless love that was so graciously poured out on us.

 

reallove

 

Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, thank You for showing us what REAL LOVE truly is. Thank YOU for sending Your Son. Lord, we want our actions to show that we truly love others. Provide us with opportunities to pour love onto others this coming week. If we are struggling with this concept, Father, we ask that You help us see where we are having trouble and to help us work through it. Lord, we know that Love comes from You and we love because You first loved us. Thank You for that, Father. It’s in Jesus’ name that we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
Do you struggle with the idea of “giving up your life for your brothers and sisters” or “laying down your life for your friends?” What do these passages mean to you? I encourage you to read them for yourself and see what the Lord reveals to you as you work through this concept.

If you would like to send a private message to Jennifer in regards to this blog post, you may send it to: Jennifer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 7 – Maintaining Momentum (pp 204 – 239)

February 17, 2013 by

Choice 7:

Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to KNOW God and His will for my life, and to gain the power to follow His will.

John Baker introduces this next choice simply writing, “In the last six chapters, you’ve been learning about coming out of the dark and exposing your problems to the light of God’s love. At whatever level you’ve been able to accomplish this, God has been healing the hurts, hang-ups, and habits that have messed up your life. Many of you are already experiencing some of the amazing changes in your life” (page 206).

Through the comments on our Facebook page, the changes are happening in the lives of those who are sharing this journey. For some, the changes have been small; but for others it’s been mind-blowing. It’s not about comparing where you are with another person but on a personal focus on your growth. This will be an on-going process, not something we attain and stop doing. If you are not alert and intentional with your Christian walk, you can (and will) relapse into the old habits and thought patterns that brought you to this study in the first place. Obviously this is not our goal; but rather we hope to give helpful information to encourage you to maintain the momentum towards God and His will for your life. Baker tells us to “Celebrate any victory, no matter how small, and do it on a daily basis” (pg 214).

This week we’ll discuss the causes of relapse, and how to prevent relapse by introducing NEW habits into your life. Unlike those we’ve been shedding over the past 6 weeks, these habits are good for us and will only serve to strengthen and refine us even more as we draw closer to Him. By the week’s end, we’ll introduce “praying the Scriptures” to bring encouragement to your prayer life.

Seeing the choice for this week, I will be the first to admit that I know I should have a daily quiet time with God. He desires to spend time with me, to hear my voice speak to Him as if in conversation with an old friend, and He wants to bless me with His wisdom and love. As a parent, I know how much I love to have time with my children, so I can only imagine how much He wants to spend time with me! But I’m running ragged with a full time job, volunteer responsibilities, church activities, and of course, family obligations (aren’t we all?).

Every time I hear a message on having this quiet time, I immediately offer up the excuses—“I’m too tired after work…I can’t get up early because my body requires sleep…I’m reading devotional emails so that’s something…I listen to praise and worship music at my desk so I’m constantly ‘focusing’ on Him…I’m reading this book or that book that talks about God and gives Scriptures…I take notes at church.”  There’s nothing inherently wrong with what I’ve said, but it still doesn’t address His desire to spend time with me—quality one-on-one time.

Yes, I’m tired after work; but He has promised to give me strength (Philippians 4:13).  Yes, getting up early is a challenge; but there’s no better way to start your day (Psalms 59, 65, 90, and 92…just to name a few).

Ps90_14

While reading the devotionals and books, taking notes during a sermon, or listening to music will reinforce the messages and keep our minds more focused on Him, these are not substitutions for personally reading His word and finding the applications for my life.  So the challenge for me this week is to put aside all of the plans to do it, and (like Nike) JUST DO IT! I’m convicted by this week’s choice and need to put my head-knowledge of knowing a lot about God in to a solid heart-knowledge of truly knowing God.

 

Reading Assignment for Week 7: Chapter 7 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 7: Growth Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss the Causes of Relapse
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Preventing Relapse
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

 

Music has always been an emotional connection for me (in good ways and bad). Christ speaks to me more through music than most other media. One song that’s been a strong encouragement and reminder to me over the past couple of years is “Captivate Us” by Watermark.  I want to close out today with the link to the song. I’d also like us to use the lyrics as a prayer—to bring the encouragement and the desire to be captivated by God in the coming week. Read the lyrics, and then play the song. While it plays, close your eyes and use this as your prayer to draw closer to the Father who wants to spend time with you.

http://youtu.be/7JtXa9pBOHI

Captivate Us – by Nockels, Nockels, & Hall

Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You

Have a wonderful & blessed week!

A wonderful pocket-sized (28 page) booklet that talks about our walk with Christ is “My Heart Christ’s Home.” It’s available HERE  as a 5 pack for a small price. It speaks of allowing Christ into our home and how we care for Him as our invited guest. Does His presence require spring cleaning, or a light dusting? Do we lock doors to certain rooms, or give Him full access?

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If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Crazy Love: Chapter 7 – “Your Best Life…Later” (Reading Assignment)

February 17, 2013 by

What are you doing RIGHT NOW that requires faith?

This chapter might be a little scary, but I hope it challenges you to get outside of your comfort zone and do something that you might not normally do…and see God show up in an amazing way.

Are you ready? Let’s do it!

Chapter 7 Reading Assignment

Monday: Chapter 7 “Your Best Life…Later” pp 113-116/ Kindle LOC 1457-1505 (Megan)

Tuesday: Chapter 7 “Your Best Life…Later” pp 117-119/ Kindle LOC 1505-1537 (Martha)

Wednesday: Chapter 7 “Your Best Life…Later” pp 119-124/ Kindle LOC 1537-1606 (1 John 3:16-20) (Jennifer)

Thursday: Chapter 7 “Your Best Life…Later” pp 124-127/ Kindle LOC 1606-1659 (Donna)

Friday: Chapter 7 “Your Best Life…Later” Weekly Review and Chapter 7 Study Video from YouTube (Megan)

Here is a video from our author introducing the chapter for this week. Enjoy and be challenged!

Blessings,

Jennifer

Let’s Pray:

Father, help us to be BOLD this week and step out in FAITH for You. Reveal something that we can do that requires standing on our faith and trust in YOU. Give us courage and strength to follow through with whatever You lay on each of our hearts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

 

If you would like to email a private message to Jennifer in regards to this blog, please email her at Jennifer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Make the Choice (pgs 182-186)

February 14, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE: Repairing Relationships


“Today is a new day. Starting today, you can refocus your life on doing God’s will in your relationships” (Baker, 180)

I think we would all agree with John Baker’s assessment that broken relationships are the root of much of the pain we experience. The action steps this week allow us to move towards forgiving those who hurt us, and making amends with those we’ve hurt. Let’s explore how we can live unashamed, forgetting our troubles, full of hope and blessed (Job 11:13-10)

WRITE –
Throughout this study, we’ve taken a lot of time to write about our experiences, our actions, and our pain. I believe that writing gives us the opportunity to clearly see the thoughts that run through our minds, but by using both the thinking & writing tasks, it becomes more real to us. We take an active approach to the thoughts. We see it in black & white (or purple & white if you were to see my journal), and it’s no longer something hidden in the back corners of our lives.

Start out this week’s exercise by writing down a list of people who have harmed you in some way, and their relationship to you. Now, I’m not talking about the guy who cut you off on the road. It’s not the petty little stuff we’re dealing with here. Go back to your inventory lists from Chapter 4 if necessary. We are creating our Forgiveness List.

Once you have the list of people, or maybe just one person, describe what they said or did to hurt you. How did it make you feel? Dig deep and find the descriptive words for your feelings, don’t just say “angry” or “hurt”. Do you struggle with finding words to describe how you feel? You’re not alone! I know in counseling sessions, we were given charts & lists to help us as a family learn to communicate our feelings more clearly with one another. I found these links that might be helpful if you struggle in expressing words for your emotions:

http://www.professional-counselling.com/list-of-human-emotions.html

http://www.ami-tx.com/Portals/3/EmotionsFlyer.pdf (this is great picture chart for children!)

Now, let’s move to the Amends List. Write down names of those you’ve hurt or offended, and their relationship to you. As we did with the previous list, write down what you said or did to this person. How do you think this person felt? Why are you sorry for hurting this person? Do you stop to think about how your words or actions affect another person? So often we can point out every little offense of other people, but we dismiss what we did as nothing.

Baker gives a list of questions (p. 184) to help jump start your thinking if you’re struggling to think of those you have hurt:

  • Is there anyone to whom you owe a debt that you haven’t repaid?
  • Is there anyone you’ve broken a promise to?
  • Is there anyone you are guilty of controlling or manipulating?
  • Is there anyone you are overly possessive of?
  • Is there anyone you are hypercritical of?
  • Have you been verbally, emotionally or physically abusive to anyone?
  • Is there anyone you have not appreciated or paid attention to?
  • Is there anyone you have been unfaithful to?
  • Have you ever lied to anyone?

SHARE –
Our accountability partners will be crucial in this process. We do not want to run to someone who hurt us and put ourselves in a vulnerable position where we can be hurt again. In some instances, we will not actually face (or contact) the person we are forgiving because the risk of further harm is too great. Your accountability partner is there to talk with you, serve as a sounding board, and help guide your steps. Share your Forgiveness List with this person BEFORE you go to the one you are forgiving.

Heb10_24

Also share your Amends List with your accountability partner, and work together to develop a plan to make amends with the people you have listed. It’s not about running out to accomplish all that we can as fast as we can. There will be an appropriate time, location, and way to manage this step. Your partner knows you and will help guide you to the best way to accomplish your task.

I shared with you on Sunday my lesson in forgiving others. This was an action I needed to do, not just because God expects this of me, but because my life & health depended upon it. Harboring the resentment and anger would have caused more harm in my life … my ability to love and trust others, my ability to demonstrate His love to my daughter, and my ability to draw close to Him. But outside of the day I spoke to the court, I did not face my ex-husband to have a personal conversation with him. It would have been inappropriate to do so. I do have fleeting moments today where I think I should write him a letter, but going through this study has shown that it would bring harm to him. I said what needed to be said years ago. To make contact now would only stir up the issues and the emotions. Deep down, the flesh side of me wants to show him how well we’ve done in the years since. But that’s not what God wants. Forgiveness has been given. It was spoken, it was done.

At this time, I can think of one other for whom I need to forgive, and as much as I’ve said over the years that I have forgiven him, this study has made me see that perhaps I really haven’t. If I have forgiven this person for his actions years ago, would it still bother me that I only hear from him on birthdays and Christmas? If I have forgiven him, would it bother me that I don’t often receive replies to emails? If I have forgiven him, would it annoy me that he doesn’t seem to interact with family in ways I feel would be more appropriate? If I have fully forgiven him, would I actually have this list of things that bother me so? Or am I just holding on too tightly to the emotions the memories evoke? Either way, I haven’t fully given the issue to God, and I believe this is the area I need to really explore more deeply.

Power Verses for Chapter 6:
Luke 6:31-37
Hebrews 10:24
Philippians 2:4
Romans 12:17-18
Matthew 5:23-24
1 Peter 5:10
Colossians 3:13
Romans 8:31
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Taken from the Celebrate Recovery Participant’s Guide 3, I want to share with you the following prayer to closer out this week’s activity:
Dear God, thank You for Your love, for Your freely given grace. Help me model Your ways when I make my amends to those I have hurt and offer forgiveness to those who have injured me. Help me to set aside my selfishness and speak the truth in love. I pray that I would focus only on my part, my responsibility in the issue. I know that I can forgive others because You first forgave me. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

______________________________

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Crazy Love: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” – Help! I Don’t Love You (pp 103-109)

February 13, 2013 by

I’ve talked a lot in my blogposts about how we absolutely have to be WILLING to let God change us. So, when Chan started this section of the chapter talking about this very topic, I had to laugh. I think many of us make it much harder than it really is. Let Go, Let God. Right? Easy as pie.

<pause for laughter>

Oh, if only it were so simple. We are all running after something. It could be a dream God laid on our hearts. It could be our own selfish desires that are interfering with God’s divine plans for us. Either way, we are chasing after something. Do you want the race you are running to be worth it and bring glory to our Lord? Have you talked to God about your race lately to make sure you are following His Will and not running in another, safer direction? Do you even know the race that God wants you to run? We are only human. We want the easiest path; the less painful road; the one that will cause us the least amount of stress. It is just human nature.

But, my dear girlfriends . . . Jesus did not die so that we could live a complacent Christian life. He died so that we could live a full, rich life . . . walking alongside HIM! Jesus says that we will have trouble in this world. It is not a question of if, but when it will happen! When we take our eyes off of our Savior, our lives lose focus. Things get foggy. All of a sudden, the race gets a bit muddy and we have no idea which direction to turn. And sadly, this is when Satan can get a foothold into our lives and draw us even further away from where we should be.

“As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him. It is when we stop actively loving Him that we find ourselves restless and gravitating toward other means of fulfillment.”

(Francis Chan, pg 104)

BUT GOD IS ALWAYS RIGHT THERE! And He LOVES us SO very much!! We may stumble; we may even fall. But God is always there to help brush us off and get us back on the right track. When you lean into the Lord and put 100% of your focus on Him, He will make your path straight. That is a promise straight out of His Word.

Prov3_5_6

So, put all of your focus on loving the Lord with every single molecule of your being. Let God move into every area your life. Ask Him what race you should be running and commit to taking a step of faith for His glory. Let every word that you speak, every keystroke that you make, let all you do glorify your Lord today.

_____________________

Let’s Pray:

Father, letting You into our lives may not be easy. There are some areas that are just difficult and may even be strongholds for us. Lord, I ask that You tear down these walls. Show us a step of faith that we can take today to let You into an area of our lives that we have closed off to You. We want to run the race that You have set before us. We do not want to chase after something that is not pleasing to You. Help us to love You, Father God, with all of our hearts. Remove any obstacles or barriers that are interfering with our love relationship with You. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!

Your Assignment:

What is something that you KNOW God is calling you to do, but you have been afraid to take that step of faith and actually DO it? Commit it to the Lord today and pray for strength and courage to take that step. God is right with you. He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Share with us so we can pray with you.

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Jennifer in regards to this blog, please email her at Jennifer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Crazy Love: Chapter 6 – “When You’re in Love” Reading Assignment

February 10, 2013 by

We are over halfway through our Crazy Love journey! It’s been a tough road, a nail-biter really. We’ve looked deep into our spirit to see what we need to work on. The journey may not be easy, but it will be worth it. God loves each one of us SO VERY MUCH. He doesn’t want to leave us where we are! He wants us to be the people He created us to be! But He cannot do it if we do not let Him! We have to let Him into those hurtful areas, those closed-off spots. That’s where His best work will be done.

So, let us begin chapter six. Ahh…love.. <3

Monday: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” pgs. 99-101/Kindle LOC 1268-1282  (Megan)

Tuesday: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” pgs. 101-103/ Kindle LOC 1282-1318 (Don’t Try So Hard) (Martha)

Wednesday: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” pgs. 103-109/Kindle LOC 1318- 1372 (Help! I Don’t Love You) (Jennifer)

Thursday: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” pgs. 109-111/ Kindle LOC 1372-1406 (Jesus: Servant, Not Beggar/SomeOne I Can Be Real With) (Donna)

Friday: Chapter 6 “When You’re In Love” Weekly Review and Chapter 6 Study Video from YouTube (Megan)

And here is a sneak peek video for you from our author! Enjoy and have a blessed day!

Let’s Pray:

Father, we want to be SO in love with You and not just the STUFF You offer us! Help us as we study this week. Reveal anything in us that is not pleasing to You and ignite a renewed passion in us for YOU and YOU alone. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Jennifer

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study for Crazy Love, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to email a private message to Jennifer in regards to this blog, please email her at Jennifer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Relationships (pgs 166 – 203)

February 10, 2013 by

Choice 6:

Evaluate all my relationships.

Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others.

LHC_Chapter6

Forgiveness isn’t based on a feeling. Think about it, do you ever feel like forgiving someone? Or do you ruminate over ways to get back at them, or hope they get what they deserve? We keep score. We tally up the wrongs and maybe consider what they did right. We spout out “vengeance is MINE” but we forget the last part, ‘Says The Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
This week in Life’s Healing Choices we’ll take steps to mend relationships. Now, this doesn’t mean we will magically have the Hallmark moments, grand reunions, tears of joy from our reconciliations. But it will bring freedom from the harbored emotions when we let it all go in to His hands.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13 NLT

Now, if you had asked me at the time what good would come out of my failed marriages, I would have said nothing. Today, I can look back and see God’s guiding hand, bringing me to a healthier place in life. All because of His mercy & love.

When I met my ex-husband, I was ending a bad marriage and an affair … definitely NOT the time I should have been getting involved with anyone else. But he swooped down and took care of me by making me laugh, doing small things to show he appreciated me, surprised me with visits & phone calls. It was the romancing and wooing we all want. Looking back, I should have seen signs that things weren’t going to work out well. Friends joked that he had bad luck, nothing ever turned out well for him, etc. Sometimes he was the brunt of the jokes just because his choices usually led to poor outcomes. But he had explanations for everything (excuses, really), and I wanted the companionship too much to listen. At one point, his mother commented that I was the best thing to ever happen to her son, but she didn’t know what I saw in him. Wow … did I really just hear that from his mom? Hindsight being what it is, I wish I had explored that comment more deeply. Instead, I listened when he told me the relationship with his mom had been strained since his parent’s divorce and he was closer to his dad.

Fast-forward about 4 years and you’ll find us married, raising a new baby, juggling jobs with family life. We quarreled about his excessive time on the computer or role-playing games with friends. He was too distracted to really be a good husband or father. We had just purchased our first home together. Our jobs were solid with promising futures. I had finished a college program; he was just starting one. The bad times seemed justified by the stress around us.

Suddenly, in a flash, it all came crumbling down around me. In the blink of an eye, I learned of lies, inner demons, addictions, and secrets that he had been keeping from me … from everyone, really. This changed everything about my life without my knowledge, agreement or consent! But for the first time in my life, I didn’t blame God. I didn’t curse at Him, demanding to know what I had done to deserve this fate.  I turned to God. I cried out to Him with a desperation I had not felt before, because I knew He was always there for me.

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.

He freed me from all my fears.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  

Ps 34:4-5 NLT

During this time, I was embraced by a church community. I learned what God’s “peace that passes all understanding” truly feels like (Philippians 4:7). I learned to lean on Him. I learned to accept help from others around me. I learned to trust again. I learned to love again. I learned to forgive.
I read once that harboring anger, resentment and an unforgiving heart only hurts us. The other person goes on with their life, without a care in the world, completely oblivious to the fact we’re fuming and miserable. We may be angry, but it doesn’t affect their life any anyway. So until we learn to let it go, it continues to eat away at us, hardening our heart more and more with each passing day.

It wasn’t an easy process, I assure you. And, I can’t give a date when it happened. I just know that through the following years, my heart softened as I learned more about my identity in Christ. I accepted more that he needed God’s love more than I needed to hate him. At one time, his dad asked if I could help find a Bible for him. They were not believers or church-going people. Rather than tell them what to buy, or ignore their request, I went out and bought one myself. Yes, I bought a Bible for my ex-husband even after all the pain he caused. I realized that I didn’t want to face God one day and have Him say, “all I wanted you to do was give him a Bible, and you said no.” I was being asked to do a simple task, and I answered His call.  People ask me how I could forgive him for what he did to his family and friends. How could I not knowing the lengths God went to in order to forgive me? Romans 3:24 CEV

But God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.

I stood before a judge and gave my testimony, something called a “victim’s impact statement.” I shared the details of that fateful day. I recalled the excuses and lack of responsibility my ex-husband displayed. And, I shared that I forgave him and how it was by God’s grace that I could stand before them that day. It was the last time I saw my ex-husband face to face. I will never forget the past, and there are days when the pain is still felt and the sorrow washes over me. But the good news is that I don’t harbor the resentment, the animosity … the hatred that initially consumed me. All credit for this transformation of my heart goes to God, and God alone.
This week, we’ll explore more on making amends.

Reading Assignment for Week 6: Chapter 6 of Life’s Healing Choices
Monday: Laurie will discuss Principle 6: The Relationship Choice
Tuesday: Leslie will discuss How do you forgive Others (& Self)?
Wednesday: Kim will discuss Repair by Making Amends
Thursday: Amy will discuss Make The Choice
Friday: Laurie will bring it all back home with a recap of our week

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Let’s Pray:
Lord, we cannot begin to thank You enough for the gift of Your forgiveness through Jesus Christ. To know You gave Your Son on our behalf gives us strength to extend grace and mercy to those who have offended us. It’s not an easy task, but it is something we strive for through our healing process. We know that letting go of the pain and resentment is necessary so that we can become more like You. Bless all who read and follow our study this week. Amen.

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Power Verses for Chapter 5:
Luke 6:31-37
Hebrews 10:24
Philippians 2:4
Romans 12:17-18
Matthew 5:23-24
1 Peter 5:10
Colossians 3:13
Romans 8:31
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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If you are interested in joining us for the “Life’s Healing Choices” online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to email Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:

Amy@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

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Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 5 – Make the Choice (pp 144-148)

February 7, 2013 by

MAKE THE CHOICE

What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.  When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.  The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.  They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

Psalm 84:5-7 (NLT)

Have you ever had something just “fall into your lap” and wonder why it appeared when it did, the way it did?  Last month, the February 2013 issue of “In Touch,” a magazine from the ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley, arrived in my mailbox and I dropped it in my bag to read when I had the time.  Preparing for this blog, I pulled it out and decided to peruse for anything that might be helpful.  Turns out this issue is about grace, about a deeper relationship with God, about seeking Him during our trials.  I doubt this is a coincidence.

I think we can pick up a few good tips from this little magazine today.

“God is willing to provide what we need in our darkest moments.  Like a spring, His provision never ceases to flow, but we must seek it.” (Hughes, 10)

Dr. Stanley writes, “Too many believers approach the Christian life on a behavioral level.  They go to church, read their Bibles, serve others, give generously, and try to be as good as possible, thinking that they’re doing what God wants.  Although all these practices are beneficial, they’re not enough.  He desires more for us than knowledge and good behavior.  He wants us to know Him experientially—person to person.” (22)

But, Max Lucado brings it home in such a simple way, ‘Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come.  ‘Twas grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”  (31)

Recognize those words?  Amazing Grace!  For me, this chapter has been screaming about grace.  Not just about His grace towards me, but being gracious to myself.  God gives us a free gift (grace) to forgive every sin we’ve committed, and even those yet to be.  All we have to do is accept His gift.  It’s our choice.  Pretty simple, right?

So why is it easy to accept His grace for us, but we cannot extend the same gift to ourselves?  When I look back on the experiences that led to my heartache or bad circumstances, it’s been due to my choices.  I ended relationships, or started ones that were inappropriate.  I left jobs for no other reason than boredom.  I said things that hurt other people.  And, even though God has forgiven me and washed me clean with the blood of His son, Jesus, there are days I cannot look at myself in a mirror without thinking I’m a wretch.  I yelled at my kids.  I grumped at my husband.  I didn’t use His time wisely, or manage money effectively.  I trashed my body because the bad food sounded so good.  My hair’s out of control.  My waist is too thick.  My complexion is too splotchy.  I find every little fault possible with my life, my character.  What does this say to God?  Am I grateful for His creation?  His design for MY body, my character, my life?

While a symptom of my heart’s protective nature, it’s also a sign that the father of lies, Satan, is trying to keep me from thinking the truth.  If God has forgiven me, I need to let it go and stop beating myself up.  I’m not a bad person.  I’m just a person who made bad decisions.  This negative thought system is one of the biggest issues I need to overcome.  I need to stop checking off the endless list of things ‘wrong’ with this woman God created.   It affects how I view myself as a wife, a mother, a worker, etc.  And, rather than focus on my short-comings, I need to (1) focus on His Word & Truth about my life, (2) focus on not comparing myself to others, (3) focus on finding gratitude for each day and circumstance, and (4) focus on letting it go.  Hmm, there’s that control thing again!

We’re told in Ezekiel 36:26, 27: 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you. I will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to follow My Laws and be careful to do what I tell you.  (NLV)

He will give us a new heart and a new spirit.  Will you reach out and accept this treasure from The King?

PRAY –

Take the time this weekend to write a prayer to God.  Acknowledge your shortcomings, character defects, areas you wish to change.  Tell Him what you would like to see instead in your life.  Be specific.  I once read that while God knows our prayers before we speak them, He wants to know that we have thought through the requests and really zeroed in on what we’re asking for.  I think it makes for a much more personal prayer than the rote memorization we learned as children.  Show God your gratefulness, even in difficult times, and as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, thank Him for everything (good & bad) in your life.  Ask Him to show you ways to change, and lessons to be learned from the experiences you have.

WRITE –

List  areas you have been able to turn over and surrender to Jesus during our study.
Are there areas you still need to turn over, attempting to control on your own power?  Remember, we make progress by focusing on one defect (or task) at a time.  Not by trying to attack it all at once.

Sometimes it’s not easy to see the positive changes in our lives.  What changes have you seen in the past 5 weeks?  Have you been able to celebrate and find joy in these steps?

Check out Life’s Healing Choices for an excellent note card exercise to help you focus on His Truth regarding your character and life.  I have a list of verses at my desk that I can see at a glance, but this exercise gives a more hands-on approach to keeping the Word close to your heart.  I have listed some of the verses from this exercise below.

SHARE –

Share the one defect God has guided you to focus on changing first.

Share the progress God is making in your life in changing this defect.

Share about your efforts to act yourself into a better way of feeling.

As I was writing this blog, this song came on my Pandora station.  I think it’s another God-moment.

 

Power Verses for Chapter 5:
Psalm 37:5

Matthew 5:6

Romans 12:1, 2

Philippians 1:6

James 4:10

1 Peter 1:13, 14

1 John 1:9

2 Thessalonians 3:3

 

Verses from the Note Card Exercise:

2 Corinthians 5:17

Psalm 9:10

Proverbs 3:5, 6

Proverbs 16:3

Matthew 11:28

Philippians 4:6, 7

Hebrews 11:6

 

Pray this with me:

Lord, show me Your will in working on my shortcomings.  Help me not to resist the changes that You have planned for me.  I need You to direct my steps.  Help me to stay in today, not get dragged back into the past or lost in the future.  I ask You to give me the power and the wisdom to make the very best I can out of today.  Amen. (prayer taken from Celebrate Recovery Participant Guide 3, p. 36.)

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If you are interested in joining us for the amazing online Bible study, and would like to join our private Facebook Discussion Group, click HERE to sign up.  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send Amy a private email in regards to this blog, please email her at: Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

 

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