December 23, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 30, 2012 by

Picture this scene:

God:  I have called you to the Mission Field.

Woman:  Praise the Lord!  I’ve always desired to go into the jungles of Africa and preach your word.

God:  I have not called you to “go and preach” my Word in Africa or any other part of the world.  I have called you to “stay and show” my love to your un-saved husband.  You might say I have called you to be a home missionary.”

Woman:  Okay, God, if you insist.  But, where do I go to for training?  My church sends missionaries to school for training before sending them into the field.  And, not that I am hung up on money, but the church even gives them financial support.

God:  May I  break it to you gently:  You won’t be getting either of those.

Woman:  What do I get?

God:  Quite simply – –  the best of ME.  As a missionary wife, you are my personal ambassador, and you will receive the best training and equipment any soldier ever had going into battle. You see, a soul is at stake, but my armor is your shield of protection against all attacks, and you will come through each battle in victory and not defeat.

As for the financial support – -your reward shall be great.  Just like Esther, you have been brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this.

Woman:  I want to know more about this armor.

Weekly Review

Monday:  Beverly – Keep Your Armor On—You’re at War– -Beverly points out that when we get up each morning we are entering a battlefield

She directs us to Ephesians 6:12-17 that describes who the battle is with and what to do about it.

  1. Who?  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and the powers and the principalities of the air.

  2. What to do?  Put the armor on the whole armor of God and stand.

Beverly points to the fact that our strength for the front line of  battle comes from our commander, God.  It is God who also provides our armor to wear in order to go into the battle with strength.

She challenges us to wake up each morning, prepare your heart, put on your armor, and stand ready and prepared to help lead your man to the commander by your example

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The question is: “What are the pieces of this armor that God tells us to use?” Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah describes each of the pieces.

Tuesday:  Jennifer

  1. The Belt of Truth – – The enemy will try to deceive us by telling us lies disguised as truth. We can stand firm against Satan’s sneaky attacks by having the Belt of Truth around our waists. With God’s Truth, we can rebuke the devil’s lies, schemes, and manipulations. We can turn to Jesus, who is Truth, when the devil tries to deceive us.

  1. The Breastplate of Righteousness – – Satan wants to attack us where we are most vulnerable – -in the heart where our emotions and sense of self-worth stem from. Protect your heart with the Breastplate of Righteousness which will never cause you to doubt God’s unending love for you and offer a barrier from despair and discouragement that Satan will try to use against you.

  1. The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace – – Our foundation is Jesus Christ and the Good News of His saving grace. The shoes that God fits us with will allow us to move when the time is right to share this Good News with others.

  1. The Shield of Faith – -God’s Shield of Faith will enable us to see past our current circumstances and difficulties to our ultimate victory.

Wednesday:  Donna

  1. Helmet of Salvation

  2. Sword of the Spirit

Our thoughts can be a real battle. A thought creeps in, and one thought leads to another, invading our mind, which leads to a pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christ’s representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough!

The Helmet of Salvation and The Sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is our protection against these doubts and lies that enter our minds.

Donna challenged us to think of our Bible heroes as our examples. When Daniel was told he must bow, he followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  Esther fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”  The ULTIMATE sacrifice was Christ when he went to the cross.  He went into the garden to pray first and put on his armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done” then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

Thursday:  Sarah  concluded the chapter with points on Basic Training

  1. When someone questions your faith, your beliefs, or your God; you need to be ready to give a logical answer that explains the hope and love you exude for Christ. BUT…you have to do it in a courteous and respectful way without yelling and degrading them.

  2. It is so important to arm yourself with the Word.

  3. Dig deeper than what you hear in church or from your most knowledgeable Christian friend. Educate yourself on what is said between the pages of the good book.

  4. The mission God has given you is to spread His message of love, hope and faith. To complete this mission, it is important to know scriptures and the meanings behind them. Then, once you have sharpened your sword with the Word, you are then able to present His Word logically and courteously.

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In conclusion, I’d like to review the assignments that each blogger gave us this week. May we see them as a way of judging ourselves in order to be better equipped for the call God has on our life – -Missionary Wife.

  1. Beverly:  Have you recognized any attacks from the enemy in your marriages lately? How did you take a “stand” against the enemy?  What have you learned new that God has shown you from studying this chapter that will be of help in future attacks against the enemy?

  2. Jennifer:  Which piece of the armor do you have the most difficulty wearing? Which piece is the easiest for you?

  3. Donna:  What is holding you back from putting on the armor everyday?

  4. Sarah:  Share your life verse – -the one that you read and almost felt the earth shake when you were finished!

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us this week about your armor through Winning Him Without Words, as well as personal thoughts of Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah.  Help us to make it a part of our daily routine of putting it on as we began our day.  In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at GCH_Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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Winning Him Without Words: Basic Training

November 29, 2012 by

But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy [and acknowledge Him] as Lord. Always be ready to give a logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.

Our verse comes from 1 Peter 3:14-16, but I pulled out verse 15 because this is what it’s all about ladies. When someone questions your faith, your beliefs, your God, you need to be ready to give a logical answer that explains the hope and love you exude for Christ. BUT…you have to do it in a courteous and respectful way. Have you ever listened to someone who was trying to make their point by yelling at you or trying to degrade you by telling you what you believe is wrong? No, probably not. I know I haven’t. I just shut down and stop listening.

There is a lot to be learned when you have a conversation with someone who doesn’t believe the same as you. Not only will you learn about the theories behind what they believe, but also you will be driven to learn a bit more about what YOU believe. You are given a chance to hone up your basic training.

We’ve been talking this week about putting on the full armor of God. The helmet, the breast plate, the belt of truth and the shield. Today we will talk about the weapon God has given us to fight our battle. The sword.  Also known as the Word of God. It is so important to arm yourself with the Word. If you don’t know what is written in the Bible, you have nothing to use in defense of your beliefs. You have to dig deeper than just what you hear in church or from your most knowledgeable Christian friend. You need to educate yourself on what is said between the pages of the good book.

By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints (His set – apart ones). Ephesians 1:18

These are the basics of basic training! Just like a student studies his textbook to get an A in class, you need to study your bible to be able to spread God’s Word in a logical way. When someone asks you questions, you have to be prepared to answer and explain how powerful God’s Word is. If you are a believer, you are a soldier of Christ. The mission He has given you is to spread His message of love, hope and faith. To complete this mission, it is important to know scriptures and the meanings behind them. Then, once you have sharpened your sword with the Word, you are then able to present His Word logically and courteously. And God will be so pleased with you, His soldier.

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Let’s Pray:
Lord, sometimes we are happy to just know we believe in You. But Dineen has showed us in this chapter that it is important to not only know You, but to really dig deep, read Your Words, study them and gain an understanding of them. When we do this, wonderful things happen. Truths are discovered, our love for You is deepened and our relationship with You is strengthened. We promise to continue to stay in Your Word every day Lord and then go out and spread it far and wide. In Your Son’s precious name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
For today’s assignment I’d like you all to share your life verse. You know, the one that you read and almost felt the earth shake when you were finished! Then head over to our secret Facebook group where we’ll discuss those verses further!

Godspeed,
Sarah

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the sign-up here button at the top of our webpage, which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: The Helmet of Salvation – The Sword of the Spirit – Don’t be a Martyr be a Missionary!

November 28, 2012 by

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

As I was reading these parts of the chapter today, a song came to mind:

“Put on the garment of praise

for the spirit of heaviness

lift up your voice to God

Praise with the Spirit

and with understanding

O magnify the Lord!”

I find that music will lift me up and put me in the right frame of mind when I’m battling something. It also blocks out thoughts that the enemy puts in my head by replacing them with scripture to build me up. It reminds me who always wins the battle!

Our thoughts can be a real battle for us at times. I know I’m guilty of this. A thought creeps in and I go with it instead of giving it to God. When we do this, the enemy can fly! Then one thought leads to another, invading our mind, and before you know it, we’re having our own little pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christs representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough! Sound familiar?

That’s why it’s so important to put on the Helmet of Salvation and take up the Sword of the Spirit on a very regular basis. The Helmet and the Sword are our protection from ungodly thoughts that we let enter our minds. We do choose to let them in, because we have the power to reject them immediately by equipping ourselves. We need the Armor everyday in order to face the battle, and the liar,  head on! Letting these thoughts come in says we are in control. We become martyrs for the cause! But we don’t need to live like this!  God’s got this for us if we only put that Armor on and yield it to Him. And we can, just by asking.

Can you imagine our Bible heroes saying in defeat; “I can’t do this”?  How about Daniel, when they said he must bow? He followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  How about Esther? She also followed what she felt God was telling her to do. She fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”!  How about the ULTIMATE sacrifice? Christ, when he went to the cross? He went into the garden to pray first-to put on his Armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done”  then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

I believe all of these were examples to us, they set a pattern for us. Especially Christ, who was God and didn’t have to, but He prayed first, putting on the Armor for the battle ahead of Him. He had the power to say no and not go through with his crucifixion, but he gave it all up for us.

I agree with Dineen when she says ” the key is to change our perception and quit seeing ourselves as martyrs in our marriage, but instead put on the label of missionaries” We are not alone. We can help each other stand in the gap when someone goes down, or we can fight the battle on our own. But first, and foremost, we must remember to put on that Armor everyday and not go into the battle unprotected.

It’s our choice, get up and put on the Armor and start fighting for our husbands until God intervenes and saves him or go into the battle unprepared and unprotected and feel like all is lost. I choose the winning side, I choose to fully equip myself with the weapons of mass destruction that the Lord has provided for me, if only I ask.

Here I am, Lord, asking………

God bless,

Donna

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Lets pray:

Lord we choose the full armor of you for our battles today. You promised that you’d be there with us when we ask. Clothe us with your armor for the battle for the glory of winning our husbands for you! Thank you Lord for providing this for us.  In Jesus name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

What is holding you back from putting on that armor every day? Let’s name them and then pray for each other, that we can rid ourselves of these hindrances and be victorious in our battles.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “The Belt of Truth”, “The Breastplate of Righteousness”, “The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace”, “The Shield of Faith”

November 27, 2012 by

Have you put on your spiritual armor today? In order to be ready for the spiritual attacks to come, we must prepare for battle every single day. God provides us with a way to fight every battle, but we often choose to fight with our own limited supply of strength. If we turn to Him during our time of need, He will get us through each battle, small or big. He knows the whole picture. He sees the story because, well, He wrote the story. He equips us with armor to help us face every circumstance we will encounter. By donning His armor, we will stand firm against the devil’s schemes. Without our armor, we cannot stand. We cannot be an effective warrior for Christ. So, are you ready to get your armor on?

The Belt of Truth

The enemy will try to deceive us by telling us lies disguised as truth. Remember Eve in the Garden? Satan twisted God’s truth into a believable lie. He made Eve doubt God’s goodness. He made her focus on what God had forbidden instead of what He had blessed her with.

What God really said:

Genesis 2:15-17 – The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden – except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

What Satan said to Eve:

Genesis 3:1 – The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

See how sneaky Satan is? His twisting of God’s Word made Eve doubt what the Lord really said.

But, we can stand firm against Satan’s sneaky attacks by having the Belt of Truth around our waists. With God’s Truth, we can rebuke the devil’s lies, schemes, and manipulations. We can turn to Jesus, who is Truth, when the devil tries to deceive us. Jesus will always point us to the truth of God’s Word. So strap on that belt, ladies, and be ready to stand firm against the devil’s attacks!

The Breastplate of Righteousness

Satan wants to attack us where we are most vulnerable. And for many of us, it is right in the heart. It is where our emotions and sense of self-worth stem from. If the devil can get a foothold by playing with your emotions, then he will do it. He knows where we are vulnerable and he will always try to kill and destroy us. It is a scary thing to think about. But it is real. So, protect your heart with the Breastplate of Righteousness which will never cause you to doubt God’s unending love for you and offer a barrier from despair and discouragement that Satan will try to use against you.

The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace

Our foundation is Jesus Christ and the Good News of His saving grace. The shoes that God fits us with will allow us to move when the time is right; to share this Good News with others. Satan wants us to think that sharing the gospel is useless and hopeless. So, be ready by putting on the Shoes of the Gospel of Peace and get ready to move when God says “Move!”

The Shield of Faith

Satan will try to throw every fiery dart he can at us. He will try to lure us, tempt us, and deceive us. He will use every weapon in his arsenal to try to discourage us. But with God’s Shield of Faith, we will be able to see past our current circumstances and difficulties to our ultimate victory. We can deflect those darts and run to God’s Word and His unending promises – that He loves us, will never leave us nor forsake us.

Stay firmly rooted in the truth of Jesus and God’s Word. When you are in doubt or feeling discouraged, RUN (don’t walk!) to Jesus. He will help you through whatever you are facing. Place your faith in Him and He will provide.

{Be sure to check back tomorrow for Donna’s post with the rest of the armor!}

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, in the matchless name of Jesus, we come before you today asking that you help us to strengthen our armor. Give us the wisdom and knowledge to defend ourselves against Satan’s attacks. Help us know the Truth of your Word when Satan tries to deceive us. Protect our hearts and guide us as we live out our faith daily. Open our eyes to any opportunities to share your Good News with those around us. And, Lord, please help us deflect the fiery darts that the enemy tries to throw at us. Help us to know the truth and to see past our current hardships. Let us look to You, Father, for our every need. Amen.

Your Assignment:

Leave a comment below and tell us which piece of armor discussed today do you have the most difficulty wearing? Do you struggle with the Belt of Truth, the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Shoes of the Gospel of Peace, or the Shield of Faith? Why? Which piece is the easiest for you?

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to take part in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Keep Your Armor On -You’re at War

November 26, 2012 by

When we get up from our bed each morning we are entering a battlefield…many times we have not even had a chance to have our devotion with the Lord or even get a cup of coffee when the battles of our day begins…..

Here is where some of our tug of wars start:

  • Getting breakfast
  • Fixing lunches
  • Doing some laundry/cleaning
  • Getting kids to school
  • Going to work
  • Fixing dinner
  • Getting kids to sports practices
  • Making sure homework is completed
  • Getting everyone showers
  • And on and on and on……

And this list is only a beginning of the tug on our lives and as you notice from our list above, we still didn’t spend any time with God yet.

By the end of our day our brains feel like a battlefield and our hearts have the holes to show the direct hits we’ve taken thru each tug. We sit and ask ourselves “how much longer can I continue and what would happen if I just stopped?”

This happened to me one evening when I fixed dinner and set the table and called my family to come eat.  They all sat down and said to me “awwh I didn’t want to have this tonite, could you not have fixed so and so..they continued for many minutes having something negative to say about the fact that I didn’t fix what “they wanted”.  They had no compassion of the fact that my day was a war zone and that everything that I had encountered was a continuous battle from one moment to the next and yet all they could think about were their wants……so you may be asking “what did you do”.

Well I did what any sweet wife and mother would do in this situation (no it was not fix them another dinner)…..I took every one of their plates and raked it all in the trash can and told them they could all find something to eat on their own and then I took my plate into my room and had dinner alone.

Yes I was having as Dineen called it “the briefest of a pity party”—and so I retreated into my room so I could find shelter to help guide me through what I had just done.  I needed to put on some armor & restore my strength.

In our scripture for today’s lesson Eph. 6:12-17 it explains two parts that we battle in our lives.  Verse 12 talks about what or whom we battle and verses 13-17 tells us about the standing part.

We are on the front lines of battle every morning, and if we get up and let God be the commander and direct the battles, direct our lives, direct everything, then at least when we put on the armor God provides us we are going into the daily battles with strength—we won’t be walking into these daily battles blindly but instead we will be prepared for what will come, and we will be able to hear Him tell us when to strike and when to fall back.

God will be the one to get us through the daily battles and get us through them alive.

Do we want to walk blindly through our battles, letting Satan tear us down, and try destroying our testimony or do we want to put on our armor and do what these verses tell us to do “to stand”.

There will be battles in our marriages that will be coming that we won’t be able to see ahead of time but when they hit, when the interruptions abound, that is when we must, right then, put on the armor and take a stand.

You may be very weak:                                           STAND

You may get weary:                                                 STAND

You may feel fear:                                                    STAND

The roar of battle may be deafening:                    STAND

The devil may remind you of past defeats:            STAND

You may see others fall:                                           STAND

Confusion and chaos may be all around you:      STAND

Everything may seem to be against you:              STAND

You may feel all alone:                                            STAND

You may feel your marriage slipping away:          STAND

 We are strong in the Lord, and in the power of HIS might!   So Stand ladies Stand!

 If you are in a mismatched marriage, there is a soul at stake, so wake up each morning, prepare your heart, put on your armor and stand ready and prepared to help lead your man to the commander by your example.

Let’s Pray:   God I pray for each lady that she would arise every morning and prepare herself with armor on and ready to meet with you on the front lines in our marriages, and allow You to restore us with Your strength in the battles we may face today. In Your name I pray.    Amen!

Your assignment:  Have you recognized any attacks from the enemy in your marriages lately, if so please share with us how you took a “stand” against the enemy and stood strong instead, or if you have learned something new God has shown you from studying today’s lesson that will be of help in future attacks share that with us.

Blessings to you all this week,

Beverly

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: A Front Row Seat

November 21, 2012 by

Take a stroll with me down the streets of Orange, Texas, a small town located on the Louisiana border, where I have resided for the last 25 years.  One of the main attractions in Orange is The Lutcher Theater.  Though a small town, we here in Orange are very privileged that The Lutcher plays host to big name celebrities throughout the year.

Two blocks down the street from The Lutcher is another theater called Orange Community Players.  It is here one will see familiar faces of people in the community, using their God-given talents in the performing arts.

Five miles north of town is The Bush Family Theater.  In this theater, God Himself, is the producer.  On any day of the year, He is producing some of the highest quality dramas, unlike The Lutcher, or I dare say, Broadway has ever produced.

It is in this small home theater where God casts my husband as the main character in each  drama.  The role he is playing is a true story and it is all about God relentlessly pursuing him for his eternal salvation.  An analytical, strong-willed man, who feels he is self-sufficient and has no need of God, he is totally clueless about what is going on between him and God.

I kid you not, every time I watch another episode, my mind races back to the farm I grew up on in Georgia.  Not only did my daddy grow peanuts like all farmers do in Georgia, but he had a large herd of cattle and hogs.  Once a month, Daddy would load up about 50 hogs that he had been fattening to take to the market to sell.  He’d back his big truck up to the fence and line it up with the  “hog shoot.”  For all you city girls, a hog shoot is a narrow wooden passage that the hogs walk up to enter the truck from the field.

Now, the old hogs did not “gracefully” walk up the shoot.  They had to have a little prodding.  Daddy had just the thing to get them going in the direction of the back of his truck – -a hot stick.  This was a battery operated device that gave them an electric shot in their rear that guided them up the narrow passage way into the back of the truck.  Poor hogs – -they had no choice, but to enter the truck.

I am sure you know where I am going with this.  My man has no choice.  God’s guiding hands will get him in the back of His truck.

Yes, it is all being played out before my eyes, and I get to have a front row seat, just as Lynn talks about on page 129 in Winning Him Without Words.

I just feel it in my bones that the final episode is about to be produced.  When it is, you are invited to Orange to the little theater five miles north of town to the celebration. I will kill the fatted calf that I have been fattening up for this occasion.

Outside The Bush Family Theater, the marquee will read: “My Son Which Was Lost Is Now Found.  Admission FREE! Come on in!”

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Let’s pray:

God, I thank you for pursuing each of our husbands, not only for their eternal salvation, but that they grow in grace and in the knowledge of you.  Help us to live our lives before them as 1 Peter 3 calls us to, and not interfere with what you are doing in their lives.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen

Your assignment:

Have you seen God in some way pursuing your husband?  If so, how?  The big question is:  “Did you stay quiet and not interfere in what He was doing?


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If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of this page, in the menu bar, and complete the sign-up form.  We will add you once we receive your request.

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Winning Him Without Words: Travel The Road of Forgiveness

November 20, 2012 by

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Bitterness, resentment and anger over unmet needs. These are all kindling for unforgiveness and I have gathered them all. When someone does something that hurts me, I am unable to tell them. Confrontation is too difficult for me. I am a “nice” person and a “nice” person does not argue or complain. That is unless you are my husband. When he does something to irritate me, I’m all about letting him know about it. It’s that “word” thing again! My mouth opens like a flood gate and all sorts of “you should’ve known better” and “you don’t care about me” accusations come bursting out. In the world, people say releasing that anger is cleansing. But not me. After I lose my temper I am left with feelings of guilt. I know I shouldn’t act that way and I am embarrassed of my actions. That guilt turns into resentment towards my husband because if he hadn’t made me mad in the first place, I wouldn’t be feeling so lousy now. So I stay angry, resentful and bitter and can’t even fathom forgiving my husband for making me angry.

Ugh. How exhausting that kind of marriage can be. So to change this endless cycle I have had to pray, and I’ve had to pray HARD because forgiveness is hard! When you feel jilted your human instinct is to get even, it’s the insult for insult, eye for an eye mentality. But God doesn’t want you to act like that. He wants you to give it to Him!

Especially when you are trying to speak with your unbelieving spouse. I recently had a discussion with a friend who is an unbeliever. I was astounded that he truly does not believe in God and I know he was just as perplexed with my views. It makes it very hard to have a civil discussion when both sides believe so strongly in their views, doesn’t it? Insulting, angry words will be tossed around, tempers will escalate, feelings will get hurt. Things may be said that are very hard to forgive. And like I said above, forgiveness is hard, but not if you ask God for his help. Turn to Him and tell him of your hurts and ask Him to help you forgive your husband. By turning to God you are given the power of the Holy Spirit and through Him you can do all things! Even forgive!

When you forgive you gain freedom. Freedom from the hurt feelings, freedom from the frustration and anger. He takes it all from you and leaves you free to just love your husband as he is, because after all, that is what God wants us to do. He doesn’t want you to worry about your unsaved spouse anymore. Leave that to God & be your husbands fine linen rope.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, forgiveness is a hard thing to do, but we know how important it is, not only for a healthy marriage, but also for a healthy mind and body. Unforgiveness can eat away at us like a cancer if we let it. Reveal to us Lord the areas of unforgiveness in our marriage and help us to give them to You. Help us to heal from the past hurts and replace that pain with the feeling of freedom! In your precious name, Jesus, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Below I’d like you to talk about an area of unforgiveness in your marriage that  you may be holding onto. We will all pray with you to release it to God!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “Sign-Up Here” button located at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Move from Hurt to Healing – The Seasons of Marriage

November 19, 2012 by

The four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter)….are they different?

Let’s name some differences we notice as each season comes around:

Spring – the sun rises in the earlier hours of the morning and begins setting later in the afternoon, the days begin to get slightly warmer, spring flowers start to appear, birds start building their nests, some days are cold enough to still get snow and yet some days are warm enough to play out in the garden.

Summer – the days are warmer and longer, we have to protect our skin from the harmful sun rays by using sunscreen, the weather is drier/humid, in some areas it is so hot we can hardly breathe.

Fall – days become shorter, evenings become cooler in the evenings, leaves fall off of trees, strong winds, lot of rain, hurricane season.

Winter – the days are shorter and very cold, sometimes we wake up to find frost or ice, sometimes it rains, sometimes we have sleet and snow.

As each season approaches we experience how our world can be turned upside down, revealing something different as each one comes and goes.

This is the same with our marriages, we have seasons with it too! I love the way Lynn talked about walking thru her garden looking for hints of new growth. How her garden is a marker of sorts, how her garden is a reflection of her marriage journey.

Let’s explore our seasons of marriage and check  and see if we need to do some planting, some pruning, some weeding, spreading the necessary fertilizer so that growth (healing) can occur.

Let’s look at the beginning season of our marriage – I am gonna call this the ooey gooey romantic season – this is the season where we look at each other all the time with “that look” you know the look I am talking about, the one that says you are mine forever and as long as we are together…no matter what we do or look like our life will be perfect forever! Yep these are the early years of marriage, the years that we think we can conquer anything that comes our way, that we have this marriage thing made in the shade, however, there is something that we don’t think about this season at first but it is filled with nervousness, confusion and hurts that we don’t notice at first because we are so preoccupied with “getting married” and being in-love that we didn’t notice the other stuff that was already there.

Now we slowly move into another season of marriage – I will call this the drown or float season…kids have now come into our lives, more bills have come our way, more duties like sports activities-dance classes, stresses on kids to have the name brand clothing and all the new fan-dangled electronics, kids start driving….

Oh and now we move into the next season—kids are out on their own, maybe you have retired, you made it through everything your marriage seasons brought your way so far, you started with your marriage of 2, then onto a family of 4, now back to the 2 of you again. You now sit across the room looking at your sweet geezer and you notice the grey hairs, the wrinkled face and your mind wanders back to all the seasons of your marriage you have had up to now—and you experience how rich the soil in your garden has truly been—you are now sensing the need to have a tilling season…..

As you sit and look at your husband you begin to look down the rows(the seasons) of your marriage and how you were growing in your faith with God and you were growing your children in your faith with God and yet one row of your marriage was not growing with the same speed as the other rows were,  as a matter of fact those rows were what is called “stunted growth”.   The more you learned about Jesus the more you wanted your husband to know and learn.   You wanted to come together in this area of your marriage and bring a harvest “together”, and yet you were doing it all alone…not together like in your ooey gooey season.

You felt lonely even though you weren’t alone, because you now have God.  The old hornworms(Satan) is always waiting for this time  in our marriage so that he can destroy what God is trying to bless, and when we remain in God’s row we discover the power of growth in us and our marriage.

We push pass the lonliness the hurts we experience, we begin cultivating, pruning and reshaping what old smut face is trying to destroy.   We put new soil(God’s Word) in our souls, this is how our season of hurt to healing reveals its power in our marriage.

Our husbands may still be in the row of stunted growth because he hasn’t chosen to move over to the row where Christ is but every season of marriage we go through together is worth the wait, worth every struggle we may face, worth the day-by-day effort we put into making our marriage grow—-but getting to the day of HARVEST means we have some walking to do through our garden(our marriage) looking for signs of new growth, staying on a seek and destroy mission to weed out the worms, traveling through (the rows) the road of forgiveness…..then and only then will we see A HARVEST and survive this season.

Let’s Keep cultivating our marriages and bring home a harvest (our husband) to God…God can use us to till, to plant, to prune, to weed and to spread the fertilizer that our husbands and our marriages need!

Let’s Pray:

God I pray that you show each of us how to cultivate new soil this week in our marriage, in Your name I pray.  Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us what your season of marriage looks like and how you will cultivate it in order to help bring home a harvest.

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving,

Beverly

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 16, 2012 by

Hello!  This week, since Martha is out of town, I will be offering our Weekly Review of Chapter 7 of Winning Him Without Words!  I hope you don’t mind!  I know Martha has been doing an amazing job with your Weekly Review, and I can only hope I come close!! 🙂

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Monday:  Beverly shared on the blog.

  • She began by asking the question, “Is it really necessary to win an argument?”  Then she asked “why?”
  • We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.
  • Our husband needs to see that God has changed us.
  • We need to surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage.
  • Let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!
  • It’s OKAY to agree to disagree!!

Tuesday:  Jennifer shared on the blog.

  • We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives.
  • when hurt, pain, bitterness, and anger take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you.
  • Jesus is not going to force you to live in negative emotions.  However, He does not want you to live there!
  • Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband.
  • This change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
  • God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU!

Wednesday:  Donna shared on our blog.

  • Death and life are in the power in the tongue, and we will eat its fruit.  Proverbs 18:21
  • We must speak our words carefully.
  • We have the ability to tear down or build up.
  • We will give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken
  • The Father feeds us words of LIFE!
  • We should purpose every day to be more like our heavenly Father and speak life words to our husbands.

Thursday: Sarah shared on our blog.

  • A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.
  • Men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.
  • When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men.
  • When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.
  • Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you are not droning on and on without ever making a clear point.
  • Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor”.
  • How do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up?
  • God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out.
  • You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

And that leaves us with Friday… today! I want to finish this week by sharing with you the prayer that Lynn wrote at the end of this chapter.  I believe it says a lot more than I ever could!  I hope you have enjoyed this book, so far.  We have just a few more weeks left and we will then take a break for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.  We will be sharing a preview of our next study with you soon.  So be sure to continue to check in with us daily!

Let’s Pray:

Father, today I surrender my husband wholly to You.  I am relinquishing my desire to save my husband, and I ask You to take Your rightful place in seeking and saving him for eternity.

Lord, show me the areas of conflict I need to stand upon as well as issues I can surrender and trust You to handle.  You tell us in Your Word that if we need wisdom, we should ask You for it and You will be generous in giving it to us. (James 1:5)

Lord, place in my mind Your wisdom that I may be the peacemaker and the one to help resolve conflict with my spouse.  Jesus, our words have the power of life and death, of cutting and healing.  Form this day forward, place a new awareness in my heart to be mindful of the words I speak to others.  Place Your words in my conscious and unconscious mind so that only words that are good and pleasing come from my lips.

Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight”.  (Psalm 19:14)

In Your powerful name, Jesus.  AMEN!

 

Be blessed & Be a Blessing to Others,

Christi

_____________

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Speak Words of Grace/Receive Grace

November 15, 2012 by

Speak Words of Grace

Words. Boy do women use their words! Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco states in “The Female Brain” that “A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.”  The poor guys can barely get a word in edge wise! But ya know what, I think they prefer it that way. Remember what we learned a few chapters back, men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.

But not us, ladies. We will talk until the cows come home, or at least until we think our point is made, whichever comes first. When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men. After awhile, they just shut down & try to find a retreat! That is why it is important for us to find the right words to convey what we are trying to say. When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

Ask God to give you the right words to reach your husband, to help him to understand your point of view. Use fewer words and words that hold meaning. Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you aren’t droning on and on without ever making a clear point. Just because you are disagreeing on something does not mean you have to use hurtful and insulting words either. Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor” like Dineen learned to do. Remember what Dineen’s friend shared with her: The words of his queen make him a king. That has really stuck with me and makes me want to really choose my words wisely. To seek God for his guidance before even pursuing an issue with my husband. I am making James 1:19 my new mantra:

 Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

Receive Grace

Alright, now we know how to speak words of grace to our husbands, but how do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up? Telling yourself you aren’t pretty, smart or thin enough? Are you still hanging onto regrets from your past? Well I am here to tell you to stop!

Ladies, let’s address this self-image problem first. God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out. Don’t put down God’s creation!! My nose is a bit large for my face, but I love it because I inherited it from my grandfather. My grandfather has been gone for 11 years, but I still can see him in ME and that gives me great comfort. Can you do that? Can you take one of your “problem areas” and embrace it?

And what about regrets. I’ve had a few… to quote Frank Sinatra. Who hasn’t! None of us are perfect and a lot of our regrets are part of the growing up process. I held onto some regrets for a long time because of my tendency to dwell in guilt. But one day God just shook me up and told me He knew I was going to do those less than pleasing things before I did them. It was all part of my life’s path. Without those regrets, I would have nothing to learn and grow from. God knows you, he knows everything you will do or say before you do it because He has painted your path ahead of you. Ask for His forgiveness and he will give it to you in an instant. But the kicker is, you then have to believe you are forgive and MOVE ON. You can’t keep coming back to it over and over because that is telling God you don’t truly believe you are forgiven. Meditate on this verse for help:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Repent and believe he has restored you. You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Life and death is by the tongue. Help us to learn this lesson and take hold of its meaning. Put a guard on our tongues and a filter in our minds before we speak so that every word coming from our mouth is one that is pleasing and affirming to you. We love you, Lord and want to speak only the words that are sweet to your ears. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

One word I have deleted from my vocabulary is “hate”. I no longer say things such as “I hate my thighs” or “I hate so & so”. That word has always been a strong and mean word to me and I just don’t want to put it out into the world. What are some words you can delete from your vocabulary?

In our house we do not say “I can’t.” We can always try our best, but we will never start off by saying “I can’t.”  What are some words you can delete from your marriage?

Godspeed,

Sarah

**********************************************

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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