November 24, 2024

Lady in Waiting: The Man Worth Waiting For

November 30, 2012 by

“When you finally submit completely to God’s authority and come into complete obedience, that is when His blessings begin to pour out!!!” Beth Thompson

My lovely Aunt who I admire a great deal, had this quote posted on her facebook wall years ago.  When I read that it hit my heart!  I was just starting to come into complete submission with God and as I read this quote, my heart smiled because of the truth behind each and every one of these words!  I was seeing how faithful God is and experiencing His many blessings, and for once I was overwhelmed with joy and not fear or heartbreak!  There is no doubt that God will bless us richly when our heart is right with HIS and in HIS control.  One blessing that I am still holding out for is a man who knows my story and loves me still.

Just as you, I sometimes wonder why I am still single.  I think to myself everything in my life is going so well except for one little detail…I do not have a husband to share it with.  If we were honest with ourselves, would everything really be going so well?  We pray for the right man to cross our paths, but are we even on the right path to find that man?  When our hearts are right with the Lord, are feet will follow suite on HIS path.  We must get rid of the urge to settle down with the wrong man; the men that come wrapped in perfect packages but when unwrapped they prove to be empty.  The man we will find on the right path one day will be filled with the Holy Spirit in his heart.  The package will not even matter, just his heart being right with God will leave a lasting impression.

Please think about this for a moment.  Ask God to direct you to the right path.  Desire to see the unfailing handsomeness in the man God has for you and not be distracted by the fading looks on the outside. 

My sister is one very wise woman, she told me once that God is preparing me for my husband just as much as He is preparing my husband for me.  Maybe my husband is not ready yet to meet me.  LOVE THAT, DON’T YOU?  She has also told me once that I should be praying that God will open my heart to the man HE has for me and not the one that I think it should be.  OK, LOVE THAT EVEN MORE, DON’T YOU?  Thank you Kristen!

Please think some more about that advice.  Remember why you are waiting; God’s timing is the best; you have no idea where your husband is right now.  Just as we are becoming ladies in waiting, our husbands are being molded into OUR VERY OWN MR. RIGHT.  Wouldn’t you wait forever for that?  Pray that God would open your heart and eyes to the man He has planned for you; get rid of any personal ideals (B.B.B or T.D.H’s).

Do you even know the man you are waiting for?  Yes it is the man that will be your husband one day, but what other qualities will he possess?  Sit down and think about the characteristics given on pages 131-133 in the Lady in Waiting book.  Which of these do you desire in a husband?  Husbands are just people; their characteristics are what make them worth waiting for!

I want to leave you with this excerpt from one of my personal blog posts.  This is the man I am waiting for, I know him and most importantly HE knows GOD!  This is my heart’s desire for our relationship.

 We will make God number one, and live our lives completely surrendered to God’s plan and will for our lives. We will do great things all in the name of Jesus. We will worship, praise, love, honor, glorify, and spread Jesus to the ends of the Earth. I will have Jesus holding my right hand, and this man holding my left, and together we will be an example of true love that comes only from Jesus Christ!

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Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I want to thank You for the many blessings that You pour out into our lives on a daily basis!  Your love is life changing and I pray each woman reading this blog experiences a new level of Your love today and every day forward.  I pray that she sees her future “husband” for what he truly is and waits patiently for the one You have planned.  Our hearts wait patiently for You, and they also wait patiently for our Mr. Right.  I pray that when the time comes, You show each of us the man You have planned for us.  I ask that You help each of us to submit completely to YOU and that we come to complete obedience to YOU.  Thank You Jesus for being all we need.  I love You so much!  Amen

You’re Assignment: 

You guessed it, please share with us what the man you are waiting for is like.

 

Love and Prayers,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Wedding Day Chains

November 29, 2012 by

 

Today, I want to introduce you to Carissa Markantone.  Carissa will be blogging for you every Thursday, for our Singles Ministry.  I am extremely excited to have Carissa join us!   — Christi Wilson

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He asked. She said yes.  But in the back of her mind, something wasn’t right.  To be honest, something wasn’t right way before he asked.  But she ignored it.  After all, she’d seen his progress.  He was actually going to church now, he was leading prayer before each meal, he was reading his Bible on a … weekly basis.  That has to count for something, right?  She’d convinced herself that his “progress” was good enough.  Good enough to put a ring on it.

Three weeks later, she took the ring off.  And with tears streaming down her face, she gave it back.  Oh, and did I tell you? That woman…was me.

I’d love to tell you that since then, I’ve changed my ways.  I’d love to tell you that I haven’t been out on a date with a non-believer or lukewarm Christian ever since my broken engagement.  But I can’t because that would be a lie.  As our authors point out, I’ve definitely justified a date or two “in the guise of being a witness for Jesus.”

When you think of a missionary dater, what does she look like? My imagination runs wild with some Bible-banging woman speaking about Jesus with every other sentence.  In reality, this isn’t the case.  Missionary dating looks just like normal dating.  I think of Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar.”  What does Ms. Poppins do when the children don’t want to take their yucky medicine?  Why, she simply adds a spoonful of sugar! What does the missionary dater do when her man doesn’t want to include Jesus in his life?  When he doesn’t want to pray, read his Bible, or go to church?  Why, she simply adds romance (the spoonful of sugar) to help that yucky medicine go down!

Have you ever caught yourself justifying a relationship or a date that wasn’t God-centered as I have?  Missionary dating begins as a condition of the heart.  We’ve discussed motives a lot in this study, but the missionary dating motive is a dangerous one because it intertwines both emotional and spiritual intimacy with someone of the opposite sex.  Once those intimate bonds are formed, they are hard to break. In fact, only God can break them. So avoid creating those bonds with non-believers or even those with superficial faith.  If a man isn’t encouraging you to grow and isn’t challenging you in your own walk with the Lord, then he isn’t God’s best! Proverbs 4:23. Guard your hearts, ladies!

“You must set a higher standard and resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.”

So what does “growing in his intimacy with Christ” look like? I’d like to draw on the commonly quoted distinction –it’s more than religion; it’s a relationship.  Relationships require a desire for commitment, a devotion of time, and a consistent communication.  Does the man you’re interested in display these characteristics?  Did he prior to meeting you? Ladies, it’s more than attending church every week.  It’s more than saying a prayer before each meal.  And it’s certainly more than a coerced time spent with God every week.  He must want God.  He must want God more than he wants you.  Wow, that’s powerful.  He must want a relationship with Jesus more than he wants a relationship with you.

Regardless of your relationship status right now, let’s meditate on Ephesians 6:18:  “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (NIV) So, ladies, pray in the Spirit.  Submit your hearts and minds to the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, and then pray in His power. Let Him lead you, and listen to Him and only Him.  Put aside your good intentions, and let God take the reins.

God bless,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray:
Father God, we thank you for Your awesome power.  Father, that You and only You have the power to change the hearts of men.  Help us surrender our own will and our good intentions to You.  Father, give us patience for Your timing, trust in Your plans, and hope for the future You have in store for us.  While we wait, Father, let us live for You and You alone.  Let us be a light to a lost world by living for You each day.    Thank you, Jesus, for your unfailing love and grace.  In your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
These questions are loaded, so be prepared!

What is the problem with dating guys who are good, but who are not Christians? What is the difference between a good man who goes to church and a growing Christian man?  What difference would it make in marriage?
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage, which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Carissa Markantone joins us from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she’s lived nearly all of her 25 years.

Carissa was saved at the age of 5, but recently rededicated her life to Christ a little more than a year ago.  She has a huge heart for serving others, especially children with terminal illnesses.

Carissa desires to live every day for her King, striving for more of Him and less of her with each waking day.  Outside of her analyst duties at a major sporting goods retailer, Carissa enjoys spending her time with friends and family, reading, writing, working out, and singing praises to her Savior at the top of her lungs (the neighbors haven’t complained…yet)!

Carissa desires for every woman to know her worth through the eyes of God.  Her motto for 2012 (which will definitely carry to 2013) is “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.”  God doesn’t call us to an easy life.  Living for Him is hard, but it will be so worth it once we get Home!

Girlfriends Coffee Hour is very excited to add Carissa to our Singles blogging team!.  She has been an active participant in our Singles Ministry, and has been such a joy!  God is doing great things in her life!

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Lady in Waiting: Avoiding Bozos

November 28, 2012 by

But, he seemed like such a “nice guy”.  How many times have we heard that?  How many times have I said that myself? I thought I had a Boaz, but after awhile the disguise fell off and the Bozo came out. I think we’ve all been there before.

Like so many things in life the difference between spotting a Bozo from a Boaz boils down to the condition of our hearts. Three aspects actually, our standards, our convictions, and our motives (yes, back to the motives!)

Oh, those motives, they seem to determine so many things in life. But they have such a large impact on our thoughts and actions that we have to constantly evaluate why we are doing things, why we are saying things and even why we  are thinking things. When it comes to dating we have to ask ourselves why we are dating who we are dating. Questioning our motives will impact our standards and our convictions in this situation or in others down the road; I believe that if our motives do not line up with God, then our standards and convictions won’t either.

God already knows why we are doing what we’re doing. He already knows why we’re dating someone. He wants us to see that we deserve more than accepting a date with a bozo because it’s been a long time since we were last taken out.  He knows we deserve more than dating a man who isn’t a Christian because the loneliness is growing in our hearts. He knows that we deserve a Boaz, and that a Bozo is not fit for a daughter of the King.

As a daughter of the most high, we can have standards that line up with His word, and yes those standards are high. But those are the standards our Father set for us, remember He has our best interest in mind, and wants us to have the Boaz that we deserve.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Let’s pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, again we are found examining our motives, why do we do the things we do, and why do we accept the things from people that are less than we deserve? Please help us to examine our motives before we act.  Please help us to line our motives up with Your will and Your word. We are daughters of the Most High, and as such You have set Your standards in place for our Boaz. Please help us embrace these standards, and thank You for only wanting the best for our lives.  In Jesus. Name, amen.

Your assignment:

I love how the Auburn University student wrote down her standards and carried them with her. We are going to refer back to this list for today’s assignment. Are there any characteristics that you want to add to your list? Next, make a list similar to this if you don’t already have one, what qualities and standards do you want on your list for your Boaz. Remember, these are standards that our Father has already placed here for us may seem high, but they are what you deserve.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Standard Bearer

November 27, 2012 by

Now that we have talked about having convictions, and sticking to them, the question many of you may have is: What should my standards be?  How do I figure this all out?  So let’s try to figure this out together.  First of all, what IS a conviction?  According to the authors a conviction is a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices.  OK, it’s a standard, but where do your standards come from?

If we were to believe the media, movies, TV, etc., our set of standards may include rushing into situations that are not meant for Jesus girls.  Skimpy clothes, risky behavior and premarital sex are the norm.  Everyone is happy, and when they eventually stop being happy, they just move on to the next situation that they think will make everything better.  We need to separate ourselves from these lies and turn to God’s Word to find our truth.

In Romans 12:2 we are told, “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” When we renew our minds, switching from society’s standards to God’s standards, we will receive His best.

This is not easy by any means.  We will be called things like unrealistic, stubborn, judgmental, and that isn’t easy.  I may have shared this story before, but it sticks in my head and rears up every time I struggle, but a “friend” has told me I that I will never get married because I won’t have pre-marital sex.  That isn’t easy to hear.  It haunts me.  But I have committed to having loftier goals for myself.  I know by living in God’s strength I will be given the grace needed to resist the temptations before me.  Does that mean I live a perfect single life?  I can’t claim that.  But I can say that I continually strive to live by a higher standard than what is present in today’s society.  Despite what friends may think, I know that not having premarital sex will not prevent me from finding the man of my dreams.  On the contrary, it will bring me the godly man I have been waiting for.

This of course is not the only standard involved in dating and meeting men in the Christian world.  It may be what you wear, things you say, places you go.  Whenever you aren’t sure if your actions are aligned with God’s will, all you need to do is turn to your Bible.  As it says in the scripture above, we can use His Word to “test” and “approve” our actions to see if it is what is right and good.

I will leave you today with a reminder from the end of this section of the book.  Carry this truth with you whenever you feel like it is so hard to keep up your standards, or when it seems so hard not to give into the temptations of this world:

 There are men breathing on this planet today who can handle such scrutiny and be found “worth waiting for.”

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LET’S PRAY

Lord I ask you to come along side of us this week.  We know you have high standards.  With these standards comes a life more amazing than we can ever imagine.  Give us the grace needed to turn to your word when we are unsure or feel as if we are faltering.  We want to live confidently and fearlessly under your guardianship.  Thank you for always being by our side.  In your holy name we pray.  Amen

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are some scriptures you turn to when looking for guidance in your dating life?  Share any struggles or successes associated with the scriptures.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Damaged Goods & Destiny

November 26, 2012 by

 

Conviction, strong in my faith, unrealistic, all different ways to describe comments I have gotten based on decisions I have made in my dating life.   As I read the letter that Cindy writes in the beginning of our chapter a few different emotions went through me.  Admittedly, one was cynicism.  (“Oh sure, it’s easy to write a letter like that on the day before your wedding Little Miss Perfect!”), another was kinship (I totally understand the want for a godly man and others thinking I am too “picky”), and yet another was hope (Well she found someone who satisfied her wants, maybe there is hope for me too.).  Sometimes I feel like there are so many mountains to climb between single motherhood and my Christianity that no man is going to want to make the effort.  Yes, there are times when my conviction wavers because I am lonely or I am feeling time ticking by too quickly, but there hasn’t been a time when those feelings were strong enough to compromise my beliefs.

Is this an easy way for us Jesus girls to live in today’s society?  Absolutely not.  But the rewards are what is worth it.  One thing I highly suggest for those of you who aren’t already doing it, it spending time with our Lord, especially when feeling lonely.  Now by spending time with the Lord I don’t mean (just) reading a devotional or your bible, but REALLY spending time with Him in what I call Listening Prayer.  Be still.  Don’t talk.  Ask Him to speak to you.  Focus your mind on him with worship music or repeating a phrase.  (When I have trouble focusing my mind I repeat the phrase “Bring it back to Jesus” as many times as I need to!)  And girls, I promise, He will show up!  My most fulfilling times prayer times are when I am in listening prayer.

It is during a time like this He gave me the hope I needed for when I am hanging onto my convictions by a thread.  I was asking Him about my singleness.  I clearly “heard” Him say to me: “It is going to be amazing”.  Oh I questioned it, whether it was really Him, if I was planting the thoughts, and on and on and on.  Without making this story too long, He did confirm things for me, assuring me that yes, it was Him.  This is what helps me be strong like Ruth was.  She didn’t settle.  She held out for God’s best too.  I love when the author says she got her Boaz instead of a Bozo! 🙂 We deserve better than a bozo too!

Ruth also gives those of us with a past we may not be proud of some hope.  She could have just fell into the cycle of her family’s sins.  Following in the ways of the world at that time (which isn’t much different than what we see today) would have been easy for her.  She could have went back to her family and lived her life the way everyone else was.  But Ruth wanted more.  She made the choice to break the cycle of generational sin and start a new cycle of godly living.

This is something I struggle with a lot.  I lost my virginity through a sexual assault, which sent me into a spiral of poor decisions.  I look back sometimes and I just wish that I had known Jesus back then.  I like to think that I would have handled things differently, although I know there is no guarantee of that.  I see the things I did, the fact that I am not pure, the fact that I have a child out of wedlock, and I wonder how any godly man would want to come anywhere near me.  What I continually try to remind myself is that the man God has for me will see me for the woman I am now.  The way I am living now.  He will give me the grace needed to see through my past and into our future.  That is the man God has for me, and for you too.

How do we stay strong in all these choices we are called to make?  By knowing, and standing by, the convictions given to us in His word, even in the difficult times.   I leave you today with Deuteronomy 30:15 – 20:

 Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you: Life and Good, Death and Evil.

And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.

But I warn you: If you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods, you will most certainly die. You won’t last long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

 

LET’S PRAY

Lord God our Father, thank you for letting us know your wishes for our lives.  So clearly in Your Word we are given your expectations and desires for us.  Thank you also for the gift of free will.  Although through this gift we stumble in the flesh, you are always there with grace, love and forgiveness.  We strive to live in your will for us, live strong in our convictions, and I ask that you supply each and every woman reading this with the strength to live this out.  In Your Name I pray.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

What are your convictions when it comes to dating?  Why did you choose these criteria?

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction (Reading Assignment)

November 25, 2012 by

Welcome to week 9!  I can’t believe how much we have covered already, and the topics will only get better and more helpful as we come up to our closing chapters.  This week we are going to learn what it means to be a lady of conviction, and how stand stong in our Lord.  I pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me it isn’t easy, but it is definitely beneficial, no matter the struggles.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 26: Lady of Conviction / Damaged Goods / Destiny – Jackie
November 27: Chance or Choice / Standard Bearer – Michelle
November 28: Avoiding Bozos – Tonya
November 29: Wedding Day Chains – Tonya
November 30: The Man Worth Waiting For – Diane

LET’S PRAY

Lord, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Lady In Waiting: Mystery of Contentment – Stop Arguing with the Umpire

November 23, 2012 by

 

Every once in a while I will see a status on Facebook from my married friends out there that introduces her husband as something like this…the love of her life, all she ever needs, her savior, her one and only.  Every time I see that all that comes to mind for me as the only thing that could ever fill those descriptions perfectly is MY GOD IN HEAVEN.  God does not have to share me with anyone just yet; I like to think that is why I am still single; He just isn’t ready to share me yet!  Have you ever thought of that before?

In reality the man we marry one day is not perfect.  He is far from being the love of our life or all we ever need, he most certainly is not our Savior, and he is not the only one for us.  If you are wishing and dreaming and hoping and wanting your husband to be those things…you will never find contentment.  When you truly search for God and seek Him will all of your heart, you will find that He is the true love of your life, all you need, your Savior, and most certainly your One and Only!  This is where your contentment is found.

In our world it is very easy to fall into the trap of the lie that when you finally get married, you will be completely satisfied and content in your husband alone.  That lie is seriously deadly.  We are putting expectations on a man who were never intended for him.  We make this husband we are searching for an idol in our lives.  This world is the last place you should be receiving relationship advice from.  Our God in Heaven speaks relationship advice to our hearts, we just need to open our ears to Him and listen.

The relationship advice He gives us is all for the relationship that we can have with HIM.  As single ladies and also as married ladies, our focus can sometimes be shifted onto other relationships in our lives or the search for a relationship in our life.  We lose contentment when we forget about the most important relationship we can have with Jesus.  Jesus is where we will find lasting joy, peace, love, contentment, and the list goes on and on.  Our identity is found in God alone.  He is where our heart is.

There will come a day when God will hand over the key to our hearts that he has been guarding our whole lives.  He will share us with the Godly man He has planned for us.  We must not be in danger of taking that key out of His hands and giving it to the first man who comes along because the clock is ticking and no potential soul mates are in sight.  That is just about the worst thing we can do.  We should be waiting for God’s timing and the journey does not have to be a lonely one, you have Jesus to go along with you every day!  The journey of a single woman is one I believe a married woman would envy just as much as we envy a married woman’s husband and family from time to time.

I believe the most important thing about these single years is that we have the opportunity to find all of the things we desire in God alone.  We want happiness, love, joy, peace, security, etc.  We can have all of that and more in God alone!  When our Mr. Right does finally come along, we are not expecting him to be what he is not able to be for us; because we have already found all of that in God.  This is where true contentment comes into play.  We find that no matter the circumstance, we have God.  No matter if we are single, or married, we are never alone and we are always cared for.

I am famous for taking matters into my own hands especially when it comes to my love life or lack thereof.  I fight with the Umpire-God.  I fight for my husband.  I am learning to give up the fight.  God has already done the fighting for me.  All I have to do is embrace HIS plan for my life and my love life.  I need to embrace the victory God has already won for me!  He has won victory for you too.  Don’t let the lies from Satan steal your contentment any longer!  Stand firm in God’s love for you and embrace this life He has given you each day!  Thank Him for the man he chooses to share you with one day.

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Let’s Pray:

Father God, I praise you and thank you for being all that we truly ever need!  I love that you bring true contentment to everything in our lives from the little to the big.  I ask that you help each of us married or single to embrace the life you have blessed us with.  I pray that you help each and every one of us to strengthen our relationship with you.  I thank you for the opportunities we have to grow closer to You, help us to make the most of each of those opportunities instead of missing out on the joy they bring by wanting what you do not have for us.  I thank you for listening to us and loving us so much!  Amen

Your Assignment:

Honestly think about the man who you would want to share life with.  Tell God all about what you are looking for, pray over your list.  See what God shows you He has for you-man or no man.  In our group, share with us one way you have tried to take your love life in your own hands.  How can we help one another to give up the fight and embrace victory with God?

Love to you all!
Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Spiritual Monitor

November 22, 2012 by

This year my goal has been to slow down. To take the time to seek God in all that I do and to not rush into words and actions; so when I read this section of the chapter I was excited because it lined up with my slowing down plan. However, I never thought that this plan would extend to my friends and how I reacted when I was listening to their excited stories. But there were a few points that stood out to me in regards to this.

  • “Encourage your friend, instead to wait until she sees how the friendship develops”
  •  Our excitement and the excitement of our friends can distract from developing the relationship with God.
  • Psalm 62:5 “my soul, wait thou only upon God; my expectation is only from Him”
  • Do not run ahead of the Lord in your relationships.

I think that learning these things ourselves first will help us to become spiritual monitors for our friends.

There are three other key things needed to become spiritual monitors, both for ourselves and for our friends. These are 1. A relationship with God, 2, prayer and 3. Love. If we try to reign ourselves in, and tame our tongues without these three factors included, we will not be successful.

Talk about an eye opener for me. I always thought that my excitement for my friend’s stories is what made me a good friend. I thought that sharing the magical what if’s with my friends was what I needed to do to support their dreams and desires. But, in reality I need to be encouraging them to spend time with God and encouraging them to work on developing their relationship with Him, while He develops their relationship with others.

Thousands of needless tears,
Produced by careless cheers,
Assuming that Boaz is finally here,
When the arrival of her prince is not even near…
~JMK

Yes we can encourage our friends, and be excited from them. But we as spiritual monitors should make sure to remind our friends in love that their lives are in God’s hands and to not let their excitement distract them from the one relationship that truly matters.

With Love,
Tonya Ellison

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Let’s Pray:

Dear heavenly father, you have placed people in our lives to be our spiritual monitors. You have place d these people here in the times that our emotions are high and in times when we may not be seeing clearly. Thank you for a loving person to remind us when we’re becoming distracted. Please open our eyes and hearts to their wise words. Please remind us to focus on our relationship with you and trust that you will and that you are working on our behalf in all situations.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

Your Assignment:
Do you have a spiritual monitor? Or have you been a spiritual monitor to a friend? Share with the benefit of this person in your life and how their words blessed you in your situation.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: The 11th Commandment – Prenuptual Fantasies

November 21, 2012 by

The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not defraud thyself.

 I wanted to look up the meaning of fraud when I started reading this section of the book. The Miriam-Webster dictionary describes the word defraud as depriving someone of something by deception or fraud.  What am I depriving myself of? My contentment. I want more than what I have, I don’t take the time to slow down and pray about a situation before acting on it. I try to convince myself that a situation may be more than what it really is. I am deceiving and defrauding myself.

Sometimes reality gets boring, and sometimes reality can make me feel less than happy when I look at where I am and where others around me might be.

Remember, God wants to protect us, He wants the best for us, but we need to slow down and step back before acting. “To heed the eleventh commandment, you must consciously resist doing another good deed for a man in your life until you know the motive behind your “unselfish” gesture”. The authors of this book aid it beautifully.

Another thing that I try to always remind myself is that God made me to be an emotional person; women in general are emotional and at times these emotions try to get the best of us. We feel a flutter in our hearts and we run with it. We see the possibility for an open door and run through it, without taking the time to see if that is the direction God wants us to go in.

We need to go back to checking our motives. Why am I doing what I’m doing?

The authors also say that “a dedicated Christian should do good deeds, but if you limit your service to the men in your group it will ultimately backfire.” I want to stretch this a little further. If we do good deeds for only a selective few in our circle it will backfire, if we’re doing things for others only to benefit ourselves it will hurt us in the end.

God has our situations in His hands, He will make things happen when they need to happen and he will bring the relationship to us in his timing with the person of his choosing. We need only be willing to let Him. We need to enjoy His gift of contentment.

This doesn’t mean that if we find ourselves interested in a person that we have to run in the other direction. What it means is that we need to seek God. We need to give the situation to Him and pray that his will be done. We need to check our motives before doing good deeds, before jumping into the situation with an open heart.

Remember, a good Christian should do good deeds for those God places in your path. He wants us to show his love through our actions to everyone.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for everything you have given us. It feels as if life gets boring at times, it feels like the lives of others is more than ours. Please help us to remember that you love us, and that love provides what and who we need. Please help us to recognize when we are defrauding ourselves and help us turn to you. Thank you for creating opportunities in which we can do good for others. Please remind us that we are to help all of your children because you are love. Touch our hearts when our motives are not in the right place. Thank you for your mercy and grace Lord.  In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen

Your Assignment: When you feel the pull of defrauding how do you counteract it? Please share some ideas, scriptures, quotes that you use to remind you to be content with what and who God has placed in your life.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

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Lady in Waiting: Wait – Ditches of Discontentment

November 20, 2012 by

 

“Then Naomi said, ‘Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today’” (Ruth 3:18 NIV).

Wouldn’t you want to have a mother-in-law like Naomi on your side to give you words of wisdom when it comes to matters concerning marriage?  Especially when the most eligible bachelor in town has told you that He would do whatever you want.

Waiting for what you want is difficult but it is the most rewarding thing any single woman can do in order to avoid discontentment.  So many of us have been led on by men who made promises which they knew they would not keep.

Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones address ways that we as women have been defrauded by such men of ill intention.  The word to defraud means to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

Many of us have fallen prey to men who have whispered sweet nothings to us and we have been led to believe that we are the center of their world only to found out later on that we were not the only ones these words were being spoken to.  I know of a man who called every girl “sweetheart” or “sweetie”.  When asked how many sweethearts he had he explained that he called his sister “sweetheart” so he considered every girl his sister.  Imagine the heartbreak of the girls when they heard that he thought of them as his sisters and not something more.

There is a recent type of defrauding that is going on called “friends with benefits” where boys and girls especially in colleges, or young men and women do not set any boundaries as to what they do in their relationships.  They even move in together and live as if they married.  The sad part about this set up is the emotions that a young woman puts into such a relationship.  I don’t believe a young woman can live with a man, share everything including a bed and say that such a relationship has “no strings attached”.  There are strings attached to this, where you like it or not, your heart is not detached to you when you are living in this environment.  A woman cannot be honest with herself if she says she is content living in this situation.  What happens when the man decides he is not ready to move this further and he is happy with the status quo?  Where does that live you?  Honestly which man wouldn’t be happy when he finds hot food on his table every time he arrives home from work or class, clean clothes nicely folded for him to pick and wear?  You literally wait on him hand and foot yet the only word he said was “let’s move in together” and not “let’s get married.”  The man gains everything at the expense of the woman who gives more than herself to play house with a man.

Unfortunately, this scenario is not only found in Hollywood movies but even among the Christian circles.  Many single women are falling into this trap which only leads to discontentment.  The Lord does not want us to sell ourselves short because we feel time is not our side.  Let us wait upon the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts.  Running ahead of the Lord will only lead us to discontentment and we will want to dig a hole and hide because we find ourselves in a situation where we wonder how we got there in the first place.

Naomi did not want Ruth to be overly excited and begin making orders for her “Vera Wang” wedding dress or choosing who is going to be her maid of honor or to begin planning a guest list.  She wanted her to wait and see how things will turn out with Boaz.  This is one woman to be applauded for having such wisdom.  Imagine if the other kinsman redeemer was willing to redeem Ruth and she has already told the world who she was going to marry!

When we are in a dating relationship, it’s so difficult to heed to the wise words of others; we seem to be walking on cloud nine and whenever someone says something we do not like we close our ears and words of wisdom enter through one ear and go out of the other ear.  It’s like all over sudden we are deaf to advise.  All we want to hear is how we look great together and how beautiful our children will be.  We only surround ourselves with people who agree with us and not those who want to tell us to slow down and concentrate on building a friendship.  It’s sad to hear “I told you so” when we come face to face with failed relationship.

As our writers clearly puts it:  “Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. This creates emotional turmoil for many women, making it difficult to wait with contentment. Postpone talk of a future together, marriage, or what kind of home you want, until engagement. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.”

Let us not fall into ditches of discontentment by allowing every Jim and Jack to mess with our hearts.  Don’t become too desperate so as to fall prey to their schemes.   Let us guard our hearts because out of them springs of water will flow.  Let us wait for what God has in store for us for Proverbs 10:22 says “the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, we thank you so much for you love us so much that you want us live a life that is full and content.  Jesus came that we should have life in abundance.  However, we also let the enemy use others to come and steal, kill and destroy the joy and contentment that you died for us to have.  Help us to take back this joy so that we may wait patiently for what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A contented woman has the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing life on her terms. Are you a contented woman? (Read Judges 21:25, Luke 1:38, and Matthew 26:39.)

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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