November 6, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 2 – Children Must Obey

November 13, 2012 by

I have to admit something.  I was born with a rebellious spirit.  Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older.  I am the firstborn.  I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all.  They could have those boys back!!!  I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers.  (sigh)  Mom said, “Go help your brother” and you KNOW what was going on in my mind.  (No need to put those words here)  You know what they were.  If they broke something, I got in trouble.  If they cried, I got yelled at.  Can you believe I still remember that stuff?  It really doesn’t matter anymore.  We are all grown-ups with families of our own.  But still, Mom said help and I helped.

I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer.  Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer?  I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list.  I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license.  I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM.  Somehow things never worked out the way I planned.  I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car.  I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it.  Hmmm.  Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should?  Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?

Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this:  discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors????  Who’d a thunk it???  When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do.  I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to.  A mom they could talk to and ask questions of.  I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.

My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9.  It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me.  I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.

So I tried to do everything RIGHT with my girls.  I tried to answer all their questions; even the hard ones.  I took them to church, taught them to serve and then one day my oldest daughter went off to college.  We sent her off to discover life for herself, with godly discipline and character behind her.  And then…we were disappointed.  There is a reason Solomon tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”  Even though I had taught my daughter the best way I knew how, she had to learn life lessons on her own.  I had to love her enough to let her learn the hard way.  I asked her if she would like to share some things she learned during that time in her life.  Her name is Michele and she will be 23 in December.  Here is what she had to share with you guys:

I think I was a little different than most teenagers.  Starting at 13, I understood my parents reasoning behind the rules, and that probably saved my life.  Most teens go through a phase where they feel like their parents don’t know anything about the teenager’s life and what they’re going through, so they must not know what they’re talking about.  As a result, they’ll stray a bit and rebel against their parents rules, maybe go to church less often or not at all.  My time of rebellion was once I graduated high school and moved away to college.  Because I was insistent on doing my own thing and thinking I knew best, God was not at the top of my priority list.  I hardly ever thought about Him or asked his opinion.  When my parents asked if I was going to church on the weekends, my excuse was “I don’t have time.”  Of course I didn’t have time, because I didn’t make time.  You make time for things that are important to you.

Ok, so about obeying your parents…you obey because God has commanded you to.  In fact, the first commandment in the bible with a promise attached to it is Exodus 20:12.  “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  Sounds to me like that’s kind of important.

If your parents are Christians, you obey them knowing they are striving to teach you what is right and want the best for you.  No parent is perfect, just like no teenager is perfect.  The way to deal with that is to LOVE.  This is my biggest thing lately.  Love your parents enough to see their intentions and forgive them when they make the wrong choice in how to deal with something.

If your parents are not Christians, there is always a chance that the way they are leading is not in line with God’s law.  What do you do then?  Just blow them off and have a bad attitude, treating them like they’re stupid?  NO!  According to Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to authority.  In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says your first priority/responsibility is to love God with everything in you.  So, God’s commands are MOST important.  And the second is to love others as yourself (or as God loves you).  The key to obeying the rules, laws, and commandments is to Love God and Love People.

If your parents are asking you to do something you believe is wrong, you still must respect and honor them, but you CAN tell them how you feel.  If you are following God and respectfully informing your parents that you do not agree and don’t feel comfortable doing what they have asked.  If you are in line with the Bible, then you have fulfilled your responsibilities.  But you must ALWAYS respect authority.

<3 Michele Bolme<3

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!  So when Solomon said that if I taught my daughter right, gave her discipline and showed her how to live like Jesus, then one day when she walked away to do her own thing, she WOULD return to God because she LOVES HIM.  I am one thankful Mom.  Now only 7 more daughters to go. (sigh, sigh and sigh some more)

Much love to you all……………………  Mama T

Pray with Me:

Heavenly Father, we know you love us and that you discipline us because you love us.  We thank you for loving us enough to give us parents who want us to grow up with a good character and a love for YOU and for other people.  Please forgive us when we get distracted and don’t put you first.  Keep loving us until we come back to you.  Father, I pray for each heart reading this blog today.  Make their hearts soft and ready to serve you.  We love you Abba, Father.  Amen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 Day 1 – Families Sometimes Struggle

November 12, 2012 by

Ummm…girls can we be real with each other, like really real with each other-especially in this chapter of our book.  Nobody comes from a perfect family.  As much as the idea of living in a huge home with a white picket fence around it appeals to each and every one of us; truth-be told if you took down the walls of that house: inside it wouldn’t be all roses and gumdrops!  NO WAY and can you imagine if it was, you would never have a need for God now that would make for one sad and lonely household.

One thing I have learned from trials in my own family is that when they come (and trust me they will) they make me realize that I need God on a moment by moment basis.  If we went through life without pain how would we know joy?  If we went through like without feeling hopeless how would we know the amazing feeling of hope that comes from God alone?  Family trials are not intended to destroy us or break our families apart; they can be used to grow closer to God and for us to come to terms with the fact that we always need Him.  The Lord is here for us, he desires to help us.  Do you believe that today?

Hebrews 4:16:

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Do you understand this verse?  Sometimes I think back to my teen years and remember not fully understanding most of what I heard in church.  Let’s break apart this verse and try to figure out why it is so important to seek GOD alone in our struggles with family.

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  How do we come boldly to God?  We do this when we pray.  We think of the requests we have.  I know when I was your age I prayed a lot that my sister and I would get along.  I prayed that my brother would not be mean to me.  I prayed that my parents would not argue as much.  These prayers did not seem like a big deal.  I did not expect anything to come from these requests.  When we pray to God, when we seek Him for help, we must be bold.  We must not be afraid to share with God exactly what is on our minds or hearts.  After all, God already knows what you are thinking so do not be afraid for one minute to approach God with your requests.  This is not just anybody we are approaching here-it is God and more than that it is our GRACIOUS God.  The one who gives generously and the one who loves to hear from us.  When you have a trial in your family first bring your requests boldly and with confidence to our gracious God who loves you so much!

There we will receive his mercy.  Mercy is compassion or forgiveness.  When we turn to God with confidence we are turning to our Friend.  As our Friend, God has compassion on us and He forgives us for all of the times that we mess up big time.  If we so freely receive HIS forgiveness for the times we mess up big time (lying, not being kind, raising our voice, disobeying our parents, etc.) shouldn’t we do the same for our family members and everyone else for that matter when they hurt us?  The answer is yes just so you know.  Trust me, I know this is not an easy task.  When we are in the middle of that long drawn out voice raising battle with our parents the last thing we want to do is forgive them for the hurtful words said.  Do not be discouraged if this seems impossible.  When we come to God and share with Him our hurt, it is God who then helps us to show mercy to that same person who hurt us.  We know how amazing God’s forgiveness is, and we should desire for others to experience His forgiveness too.  When we choose to forgive them, they are able to experience a sliver of His forgiveness!

We will find grace to help us when we need it most.  Grace and mercy go hand in hand.  God’s grace though is one of the absolute coolest things.  I do not know if you know this or not but when we mess up and God loves us still-that is His grace at his finest.  How many times have you gotten into a fight with your parents?  When you are in the fight the last thing you are thinking is you love each other.  BUT after hours or days you realize you really do still love one another.  Well, kind of the same thing with God: except God loves us no matter what, it does not take him hours or days to come around, he loves us in the moment, no matter what that moment may be.  Because God loves us that much and because He is in that moment with us, we have access to His help instantly.  You are not alone.  God is waiting patiently for you to seek Him for help.  He will always help you.  This is a promise from God.

As I said earlier, trials in our families will come that is certain!  It is up to us to let God in to help us through each trial.  I encourage you to share this post with your family today.  I encourage you to make a pact to one another that when the messes in life happen, that you will vow to live out this verse by seeking God first for help to have mercy and grace for one another.  God blessed you with each one of your family members to do life with.  Let us thank Him for their purpose in your life and make the most of the days you have to spend together!

Let’s Pray:  Lord, I thank you so much for family.  I thank you for giving us whoever we have in our families to love and be there for each other.  I thank you that we can turn to you when we need you and you will always be there for us!  I am so glad that you hear us when we pray to you.  Let us remember to seek you for help and remember to offer others grace even when we feel they do not deserve it because you offer us grace every day!  We love you so much!  Amen.

Love you girls!!

Diane

*****

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Winning Him Without Words: Pick and Choose Your Battles / Stand up or Shut up

November 12, 2012 by

Is it really necessary to win an argument?  Why do we want “to win”?

Do we feel that when we do, we have some kind of special power over the other person?

How many of us were/are like the little six year old in our lesson today, when we don’t win, we bawl(cry), we mouth words back to the person showing our total disappointment and we don’t stop doing these things until we get a point across to them in hopes to get a little reward in something.   Probably most of us can answer yes to this question/thought.

Each of us have something growing inside of us that likes “the victory” moments to occur, we like to be able to say “see there I did that” or “I won that”…..and for some reason we especially like to have those moments with our husbands for some reason.     We feel like when we win a battle that we have won the most ultimate gift of the day until tomorrow when something else happens and we are trying all over “to win again”.

I am here to say we will “NEVER” win, not the true gift anyway as long as we are just trying to win a “daily battle/conflict” in our marriage, because you see all those are just temporary “wins”, they have no meaning, they have no permanence, all they have is a temporary feeling and then they start all over the next morning.

Do we sit and think about the daily battles “before” we choose one to battle over?   I love what Gods Word tells us In Luke 21:14 NIV “but make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.

This verse tells us that we are able to make a decision not to worry, that we should Resolve and settle in our minds not to meditate and prepare beforehand how we will make our defense and how we will answer.

To meditate means to roll something around in our mind. Worry is simply rolling unpleasant possibilities around in our minds. Not to prepare beforehand how we will responsd to those who disagree with us is a real step of faith. We are then forced to rely on whatever God brings to our minds. By not preparing a battle and rolling these scenarios around in our minds we are now opening our minds instead to receive wisdom from God.

Worry can sneak up on us and we find all sorts of negative possibilities seeping into our minds uninvited and unwelcome, it is when conflicts in our marriage will begin to creep in, all because we want to win a battle, we want to gain an inch of ground in the argument.

 Why can’t we just “keep our mouths shut”

 We must remember that the ones of us who are believers and any of our husbands who are not believers do not see things the same way. One sees with God’s eyes and the other with the world’s eyes.    Thankfully Lynn tells us on Pg. 109 that “we believers view life through the lens of God’s Word, we filter the day’s events and process them through the truths we discover from reading our Bible daily and the time we spend in prayer and our husband processes life from some other source.   This makes our marriage a tough one to live every day and this is one reason why we have “daily battles”.  These are the times we have to decide to “stand up, or give up”  –  really is that what it has to be?  NO!    instead the process in these daily battles  needs to be us becoming mature in Christ and learning to pick and choose our battles carefully and prayerfully.

We all have things to learn from some of these battles we go through but we need to discern the unimportant issues and as we have all heard before “simply agree to disagree” with our husband.

We can’t win our marriage on our own, we can’t take on the role of Jesus in trying to get our marriage to a place where we want it to, instead we need to give our daily battles to God and let Him do all the changing, stop pushing our faith and belief on our man to the point where we argue about it or even the simplest things that take away the focus of God in our lives and in our marriage.

Ladies our husband will see God has changed us, we don’t have to try and make him see and then the key that will unlock these battles is a “transformed life in Him(our husband) and a transformed life in us (our marriage)”

Let’s just surrender our need to win a battle and instead embrace and surrender our marriage, let’s be the peacemaker and let Christ handle all the rest!

 

Let’s Pray:   God I pray for each one of us as we will face upcoming battles in our marriages, help us Lord not to choose the battle but instead look to you and help us to decide if the issue/battle is truly worth this conflict we will face, and help us Lord instead to surrender it to you”  In your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:   Tell us how you resolve conflicts/battles in your marriage.   How do you pick/choose your battles?   How many of you never have any conflicts/battles with your man, if so teach us your method and how it can help us to grow this area of our marriage.

Love you all,

Beverly

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady In Waiting: Lady of Security (Reading Assignment)

November 11, 2012 by

 

Happy Sunday ladies!  After tacking the tough topic of purity last week, I hope you are ready to look inward and see where your security comes from.  I truly pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me, it isn’t always easy, but it is definitely beneficial.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 12: Lady of Security Feelings of Insecurity – Jackie


November 13: Believing a Lie / Secure Love – Michelle


November 14: Manipulation and Maneuvering – Tonya


November 15: Quitting the Hunt – Katie


November 16: Motive Check – Diane

LET’S PRAY

ABBA Father, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lord, Teach Us to Pray – Part 7

November 10, 2012 by

Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray!  Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — “Teach {me} to pray”?

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray.  I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who PRAY—who delight, yearn, love to pray to their Father.  This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….”

Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

“Pray, therefore, like this:

Our Father

Who is in heaven,

hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,

and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

And lead (bring) us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of  importance—”Who is in heaven.”  This attribute tells of the utmost importance of God Who is in heaven.  And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.

Then we came to the third aspect, as we followed Jesus’ instruction,— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.”  And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where Almighty God is described as holy: we saw the Psalmist proclaim that ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed  ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’  What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

After that we looked at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important—‘Your Kingdom come.’  We considered the question, “What is the Kingdom?” by focusing on just two ways to understand what Jesus meant.  The first connotation that “Kingdom” has refers to the eternal Kingdom.  And then to understand “Kingdom” in another way, we looked specifically at Matthew chapter 13  where Jesus spoke in parables and used tangible examples to help His disciples (and us!) to understand the importance of having the Kingdom established in our hearts.  He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him.

The following week, we focused on the next aspect of Jesus’ instruction ‘Your will be done.’  It is Almighty God’s will that we are to be concerned about…not our own.  We continually saw Our Lord’s constant example that it was not His will that was important but His Father’s.   We looked at a number of records in the Scriptures which clearly spoke of Jesus’ great desire for His Father’s will.  If it were ever possible for anyone to justifiably state and act on their own will, it would have been Jesus; true?  We were reminded of the great humility and the beautiful love that He and His Father shared in Their relationship.  Jesus always desired His Father’s will, always sought His Father’s will, always purposed to know His Father’s will so that He always did His Father’s will.  And what did we find was His Father’s will?—salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ.  We were assured that at the very foundation of God’s will lies our hope, which is salvation through Jesus leading to eternal life.

And then last week we studied the phrase ‘

“Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” From the perspective of our Lord’s life and ministry.  In John 6:38 we read that Jesus came down from heaven not to do His own will but to do the will of His Father on the earth.  Jesus was always the perfect example to His disciples, and of course to us.  We, too, can live with that same heart as Jesus did.  God has promised to lead us, to guide us, to show us His Will.  We looked at a number of promises that God has given us regarding our knowing His will.  Jesus, Who knew His heavenly Father like no one else did, desired to do God’s will.  God’s perfect will.  He simply and clearly taught His disciples AND US to do the same.

Now this week we are considering the phrase, “Give us this day our daily bread.”  There are a number of connotations that I believe can be applied to understanding what Jesus was teaching them here.  The first would be to recognize that Jesus IS the ‘bread of life.”  In the sixth chapter of the book of John, He repeatedly helped them to understand the eternal importance of recognizing Him as the Sustainer of life—eternal life.  In verse 35 Jesus states,

“I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to Me will never be hungry, and he who believes in and cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me will never thirst any more (at any time).”

Further along in this record, He reiterates this statement and adds,

“I am the Bread of Life [that gives life—the Living Bread].  Your forefathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and [yet] they died.  [But] this is the Bread that comes down from heaven, so that [any]one may eat of it and never die.  I [Myself] am this Living Bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this Bread, he will live forever.”  (verses 48-51)

And He qualifies it even more by saying,

“Just as the living Father sent Me and I live by (through, because of) the Father, even so whoever continues to feed on Me [whoever takes Me for his food and is nourished by Me] shall [in his turn] live through and because of Me.  This is the Bread that came down from heaven. It is not like the manna which our forefathers ate, and yet died; he who takes this Bread for his food shall live forever.” (verses 57,58)

So we clearly see Jesus’ heart of compassion, wanting them to live forever by partaking of the Bread of Life—Himself—and receiving that blessing.  Jesus always knew His mission, “…this is the Bread that comes down from heaven, so that [any]one may eat of it and never die.  I [Myself] am this Living Bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this Bread, he will live forever…” (John 6:50, 51).

I think that when Jesus was addressing their desire to learn to pray, He focused on the basics: 1) recognizing God as their Father Who is in heaven and that He is holy; 2) asking for God’s Kingdom as well as His Will to be accomplished on earth and in heaven; and 3) acknowledging need of their daily bread.

Immediately before giving them this beautiful sample (Matthew 6) of how to pray, Jesus was talking to them about how not to pray(verses 1-7), and was using the prayers of the Pharisees as a ‘bad’ example.  He encourages them in verse 8, saying,

“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”

THIS is the essence of Jesus’ instruction.  If they would pray, “give us this day our daily bread…” they would be humbly acknowledging that their heavenly Father already KNEW what their needs would be that day.  For us, just like Jesus’ disciples, it is when we recognize our immense need for God’s provision that we step back from trying to accomplish it (whatever ‘it’ may be for that day) and let the One Who has so much to give to us provide so perfectly for us!

Further along in this chapter, immediately following Jesus’ teaching them HOW to pray, He also reminds them of how WELL their Father in heaven takes care of them.

“Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, or  about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?” (verses 25-26)

For our practical application, let’s remember: Jesus answered their plea to teach them to pray, and in the midst of that instruction, He directed them to pray, “give us this day our daily bread.”  Then, He gently reminded them that God already provided that daily bread for them!  (AND for us!)

“Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?

For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all.” (verses 31, 32)

God, our heavenly Father, Who is  Holy, knows our need AND has already provided for  our need, gives us our daily bread.  And the reason is…  Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So.  <3

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This week , in our study A Daughter’s Worth, we have been looking at the importance of having godly friends along with being a godly friend.  This is another oh-so-important daily need of ours!  Having Christian relationships and friends who hold us accountable, and build us up, and forgive us when we are wrong, and bring out the best in us as we share our hearts on spiritual matters and God’s goodness is vital to living well as a Christian!  And God has graciously provided for this in our lives, too.

Ask yourself:  ______ (insert your name here), how much worth do I have knowing  that  my “heavenly Father knows well my needs” and provides for them all?  <3

“…Give us this day our daily bread….”

______________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Lady In Waiting: What If It’s Too Late?

November 9, 2012 by

I am not going to lie to you ladies; this will be the hardest thing I probably ever have to write about.  Furthermore, when I saw that I had this part of the chapter to write about I instantly felt sick to my stomach.  Then I prayed, and I know that God gave me this topic for a very special reason.  This is His way of telling me, you are ready to share such an ugly part of your life with others because of the beauty you have let Me make of it.  It is my prayer that as you read this you can get past the ugly my life once was and focus on the beautiful things that God has made from my messes in life.

I can tell you this topic alone has brought so many tears to my eyes; probably enough to make an ocean-no joke.  The past week I have been thinking to myself this part of the chapter is so personal, how can I possibly begin to share what God wants me to share with these women when I don’t want to even share it with myself?  Then I am reminded of Revelation 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.  There is power in our testimony ladies.  There is hope from our hopeless situations, purity can come from our impurity, and the only reasoning for these miracles is because of the victory we have over Satan and the only reason for THAT is BECAUSE of the beautiful sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  And that my friends, is how I can share what God so desperately wants you to hear today.

When I read the words on page 89, my heart sank.  “If you are reading this after the fact and are dealing with the guilt of the lost gift, do not be discouraged”.  The first time I read that it was about two years ago and I was very uncertain of how to not be discouraged.  Second time around, and two years later when I read that sentence I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to God that I am no longer dealing with the guilt of the lost gift.  What changed in two years you might be wondering?  Honestly, I changed.  Not because of anything I did, it was all because of what God did for me, on a cross.  He died and shed HIS innocent blood and took my guilt and shame away with Him.  Ladies, GOD DID THE SAME THING FOR YOU!  In those two years, I accepted personally what HIS gift meant for me; the new life I have freely been given!  My past did not change, but I chose to change the way I was living.  I chose to start embracing God and when I did I was no longer discouraged.  Have you done the same?

If you are reading this after the fact, please listen closely.  I understand the guilt, I understand waking up and feeling covered in shame.  I understand the pain behind every single tear that falls from your eyes.  I understand the pain of a broken heart.  My heart was broken … correction, shattered when someone who I loved took my innocence from me without asking my permission.  My natural response to this was not “this is all his fault for doing this to me”, instead it was “this is all my fault for letting this happen”.  I suffered with extreme guilt and it led me to turn completely away from God.  It was too late for me; I could no longer be a virgin when I got married like I had always dreamed of so I gave up.  I believed and lived out this lie for two years, living in sin.

One day the Lord placed A More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz into my life.  I was driving along; crying because of what I had just done, that I knew was so wrong, but I just did not know how to stop going back to that sin.  Out of nowhere, seriously nowhere, my preprogrammed country station became a Christian radio station, K-love in my car.  This is what I heard:

So turn around you’re not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It’s not too late, you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear, they can all be washed away

By the one who’s strong, can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry, all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light, He will show you truth
And again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl

My heart ached to hear those lyrics over and over again, but my tears got in the way.  I searched for that song for hours after hearing it and could not find it anywhere on the Internet.  Those lyrics God used to start to mend my broken heart.  But that was just the beginning of the mending.

I could not get over the fact that even though I did not choose to lose my virginity, I CHOSE TO KEEP GIVING MYSELF AWAY TO A MAN AND THEN MEN WHO WERE NOT CONCERNED WITH MY HEART, JUST MY BODY.  I fed into the lie that I needed this sin to be a part of my life.  I fed into the lie that I was indeed damaged goods.  These lies were so hard to get rid of.  What lies do you believe about your past?  What is tangling you up inside, making it seem impossible to get past the sins of your past?

PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE TO LET THIS TRUTH RUN THROUGH YOUR SOUL: No matter what your past may look like, all God sees is beauty.  Truly, if you are a child of God, if you have asked for his forgiveness for your mistakes, then you are living a beautiful new life!  God does not see the shame or guilt that weighs so heavy on your heart-He just sees your heart for what he created it to be.  His love is never out of reach no matter how far you have gotten yourself from accepting it.  God has the luxury of forgetting our sins, and we have the luxury of being forgiven and able to live our life filled with God’s love. 

Here is one of many examples of the beautiful things got has brought out of my ugly!  My heart was almost healed.  There were still some things I had to confess to God.  I walked into therapy with my pink journal in hand.  Each page was filled with sentence after sentence of pain, hurt, shame, guilt, sin, and ugliness.  I read aloud each page.  I ripped out each page and put it in God’s hands (literally my therapist drew God’s hands on a piece of paper and sat it against the wall).  As I was done with each page I prayed aloud to God.  I wanted to see His hands so I looked up, at that very instant His hands (the paper) fell over everything I had written.  That was the sign I needed that God loved me so much and that He took all of my shame and pain and guilt with Him where it belongs and left me with a brand new heart!  I am pure, I am a virgin, and I am not damaged, thank you Jesus!

Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your love.  Thank you for forgiving us and transforming our ugly past into such a beautiful life with you!  I pray that every single person reading this takes away the thing that you had planned for them to hear!  I praise you for the opportunity I have been given to share my heart with others.  I pray your many blessings upon each woman who has felt, it was too late for her.  I cannot put in words how thankful I am for healing our broken hearts!  We love you so incredibly much!  Amen.

Your Assignment:  If you are holding anything in from you past, get rid of it.  Please write it down and put it in God’s hands.  Let’s replace that space with God’s love!  Let’s be each other’s support system when temptations come or when we are starting to go backwards.  Please post below what God tells you when you are feeling bad for you past, I believe these words have the power to encourage and help each and every one of us!

Love you all so much!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: Sacrificial Giving

November 8, 2012 by

I will sacrifice a free-will offering to you;

I will praise your name, O Lord, for it is good.

Psalm 54:6

In this section Dineen shares with us a different kind of Valentine’s Day present she gave to her husband. Instead of chocolates and a card, she made a list of things that she would NOT do to her husband anymore. I did this for my husband as a Christmas gift last year. My list was pretty similar to Dineen’s and I bet as appreciated by her husband as it was mine! Let’s review Dineen’s list.

No Nagging!

Oh ya! This is a big one for a lot of us. It starts out as us asking for a favor from our husband and expecting them to do it for us. Then it turns into a constant “did you do so & so for me? I’ve asked you 20 times, can’t you remember? I don’t ask for much…” and so on. It sounds so ugly in print, imagine what it sounds like to our husbands. I am so guilty of this. And I’m good about playing that martyr card too! “I don’t ask for much, can’t you just do this one thing for me without me having to remind you over and over?” To fix this, Dineen started writing her husband reminder notes. This is a great idea and seemed to work really well for her and her husband! He didn’t have to hear her “nag” him about something over and over and she didn’t have to stress out about asking the same favor over and over. She just had to remind him of his list…gently! 😉 This turned her into his helper instead of his “nag”! Genius!

No Expectations

We’ve talked about this one quite a bit, and rightly so because it is so important. Sometimes we place such high expectations on our husbands that we are setting them up to fail. There is no way they can read our minds and know exactly what we want them to do or say. Speaking from my own experience, holidays were killer for us. I expected a pretty surprise every holiday, birthday and anniversary. I didn’t want to tell him what I wanted, I wanted to be surprised. That is the romantic in me! He would continually tell me that he’d rather I just tell him what I would like and he’d get it for me. I’d pout and say “that’s no fun!” but when it came time to open gifts and I was less than thrilled to open my vacuum cleaner, he proved his point. He saw a need of mine and thought he was doing good. I saw the most unromantic gift in the world. So now I make a list of 3 things for him to choose from. He has a guide to go by and I still have the element of surprise!

Okay, so I was using a funny example of not setting high expectations on your husband, but in seriousness, it really isn’t fair to him. When you are in a spiritually mismatched marriage, you can’t expect your husband to see the world as you do. Like Dineen says, you need to remember he doesn’t have the same belief system you do. You can’t expect him to think the same as you because his definition of right and wrong is measured more towards worldly things. He knows stealing is wrong, but not because it’s a sin, but because it is taking something that does not belong to him. You do need to respect his way of thinking if you expect him to respect your ways. Together you can talk and compare your ideas and I can guarantee both of you will learn something.

No False Assumptions

This is huge for me. Way to often I take a comment from my husband the wrong way, get offended and let it ruin my mood. He will try and tell me he did not intend his comment to be offensive, but I have a hard time getting over it. But I have been working on it! I learned something from our lesson this week that will help me to continue to improve in this area. From now on I’m going to not speak the minute I feel offended. Instead I’m going to exhale, think about what I’ve just heard and be sure of the facts, maybe let my husband explain further what he meant and then, most likely, realize his intent was not to offend me at all. So many arguments will be saved by just slowing down, really listening and understanding!
No Resentment
Past hurts are hard to get over. But let me tell you something, holding onto them and letting them eat away at you, or giving them new life each time you have an argument is never going to move you forward in your marriage. Sometimes I make things to simple, but this is one of those areas of marriage where I have always felt the past is in the past. You can’t go back and change it, so it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to dwell on it for the rest of your life knowing how miserable it makes you. I won’t lie and say I haven’t ever brought up a past argument to try and make a point in a current argument, because I have! But I was quick to learn that it only made the current situation worse than it needed to be and nothing really got solved. Especially the past argument! Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is a gift to YOU from God. When you allow yourself to forgive someone for hurting you, it frees you from that hurt. You cannot dwell on it anymore or think back to it from time to time. Let it go and move on so YOU can be happy again. When you hold a grudge, you aren’t hurting the person who hurt you. They’ve moved on long ago! When you hold a grudge the only person you are hurting is yourself.
Let’s Pray:
Lord Jesus, be with us today as we go over elements in our marriage that we need to work on. Bring our shortcomings to light for us so that we can know what we need to work on to make our marriages happier, more peaceful and more loving. Remind us of our vows to love, honor and cherish. We meant them when we took them in front of you, but all of us need a daily reminder to keep working hard to honor each vow.  We love you, Jesus. Please help us make our marriages a testimony to others!  Amen.
Your Assignment:
What is your list of things you will not do anymore in your marriage? Post them below so we can all pray with each other while we tackle them one by one! If you have a praise report on something you have conquered, share it below also!
Godspeed,
Sarah
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Guarding the Treasure

November 8, 2012 by

Over the past two years I have been honored to stand in four different weddings of women I prayed with, laughed with, grew with, and watched fall deeply in love with the man of their dreams. I have seen relationships grow from friendship to marriage. I have been blessed to watch newlyweds and long married couples invite their first or second child into the world. I have talked my friends through the process of deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a man they were interested in.

Let’s be honest, I have done my fair share of relationship watching. But the one thing that I have not done is gone on a date. That’s right, I have not been on one single date in the past two years, and let me tell you something…it is not easy watching friend after friend meet the person they will spend the rest of their lives with and begin that process, while I am left single, alone, and in the dust with out even a possibility.

Why do I start this post out with what seems to be a complaint about my relationship status? Not for sympathy or a pat on the back. Not so that you set me up with some suitor or encourage me to get my feet wet. But to share with you, that I have not been out with men because I am guarding my treasure. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. When everyone else is happily in love and oogling over their latest romance, I do most certainly get quite lonely at times. I would love to have a fling, lock lips with a handsome male friend, or even just go on a date for fun. But I have committed myself to guarding my heart, my body, and my love.

The author writes about some practical ways to avoid making decisions that will give away your treasure too soon. Ladies, this does not just mean your virginity or your body. This sometimes even means your words and your affection. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all love the coos and sweet words of men who desire to share some sort of intimacy with us. It makes us feel cared about, important, wanted, and maybe even loved. But we ought not give our love to every man who speaks whispers those sweet nothings into our ears. The reality of the situation is, there is a great chance that you may not end up with the most recent sweet-talker to grace your paths.

Let me be clear here: this is not a man bash. There are many great intentioned males out there who mean what they say and have actions to back it up. But while you wait for Mr. Right, please do not throw yourself at every man who says you are beautiful, unique, or special. Even if you are in the midst of a relationship that you think could be the one, you may want to go as far as asking this man not to pour out words of adornment until you are in a more committed stage of your relationship. Explain what it does to your heart. A good man will be able to prove how much he cares for you without using words. He will make you feel beautiful, unique and special by the way that he treats you. If he is using words and not backing them up with actions, please, ladies, DO NOT stick around expecting him to change! There are good men out there who will treat you like the woman of God that you are, so don’t settle for a man who does not hold himself, and you to those standards!

Best of all if you are guarding your treasure, when you meet the right man, you will not hear yourself echoing words that you once said to a former lover. You will not find yourself repeating actions that were once special with another man, but rather you will find that all of the adorable phrases and enjoyable “you-isms” will be safe for just this one man. Trust me, I know that it is difficult to watch your sisters and friends sharing these intimate moments with men left and right. It is so hard not to get sucked into wanting it for yourself, right now! However, we will all find in the end that the moments of intimacy lost on men who mean nothing will take away from the man who will mean everything. And the moments that you save will be that much more special!

____________________________

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with the emotions and desires that we have! Thank you for knowing exactly how we can best use those emotions and desires. Give us the patience to save our energies for the man who you have in design for us. Let us invest our hearts in you for the comfort we lack during this time of singleness, so that we are better able to love our husbands when the time comes. Please bless us in this week as we enter into a deeper intimacy with you. Amen.

Your Assignment

 Talk with some of your sisters in Christ and/or an accountability partner about what your standards should be for a man. Write down a list of ways that you can protect your purity, and your heart when you do go out with a man you are interested in. Report back with one or two ways you have been doing that in your relationships with men.

___________________________

For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 6/ Day 3: A Good Friend Supports You

November 7, 2012 by


Supportive and encouraging are definitely how I would describe my friends. The day before my senior year of high school, I decided to be homeschooled. I just knew in my spirit that I was not supposed to go back to school. Of course my friends asked questions. They wanted to know why, which is totally expected. But the majority of them were so supportive and trusted me to know what was best for me. They knew I had a relationship with God, and they knew that I was making a wise decision for myself. As for the ones who weren’t supportive, I didn’t immediately shut them out or end our friendships, but over time, those friendships ended for various reasons.
We all have a specific calling, a specific purpose placed on our lives by God. If we are walking with Him, we should be taking steps in the direction of our destiny, asking Him where we should step.
Throughout this journey, we WILL need people to encourage us to pursue the dreams in our hearts. Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times…” Part of loving someone is supporting them. All of our paths look different. Your friend may make a decision that you don’t necessarily agree with in regards to their future, but it is important that you support them. If you know that your friend has a relationship with Jesus and asks Him before he/she makes a decision, you should trust that they know what they’re about to do.
We will experience trials and struggle throughout our lives. If we are doing Kingdom work, the enemy will not like it and he will try to come against you. Yes, in those times, you must pray. But I believe the Lord wants us to have people in our lives who will pray with us and who will rebuke satan with us!
Lets pray-

Dear Lord, thank You for giving us such a perfect example of how to be a friend. You are a friend to us. I pray that we would give us discernment in our friendships, that we would know who we can trust and who will love us unconditionally. I pray that we would be supportive and encouraging to our friends, showing them You in every encounter we have with them. In Jesus’ name. Amen

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 6 / Day 2: A Good Friend Shares Her Faith

November 6, 2012 by

I would not say that I have very many friends.  I know a lot of people.  I help a lot of people.  But if I really had trouble or needed someone to talk to, I would have a very short list of people I would call or show up on their door step.  It has always been easier for me to deal with my own struggles by myself and sometimes share them with God.  That’s not how God wants me to be, that’s how I have done it…on my own.  Is anyone else guilty of this, like me?????  I’m working on this area of my life.  I have opened up more to friendship than I ever have before.  This is still hard for me, but I know God put me here to be a friend so that people can see Him in ME.  That’s weird for me to think.

I don’t have a problem talking to people in elevators, or holding a door for an elderly person, or talking to a child.  My kids find me embarrassing because I “talk to strangers”.  I’ve been guilty of carrying someone’s groceries for them, paying someone’s bill (when they didn’t expect it) and even taking time to listen to their “life story” when I had other things I needed to do.  I’ve taken people with me when I have gone out to run errands, just because they needed to get out of the house.  I’ve taken groceries and left them on doorsteps, mystery cakes have shown up at friend’s houses, bought tanks of gas when a young mom couldn’t get to work that week and taken a meal to someone just because.  I like to look for ways to share blessings with people.  I ask God to show me who needs a blessing and He always does.  It’s a lot of fun to look for random acts of kindness to do for someone.

I can’t say that I knew these people very well.  Some I did, some I had never met before.  So, if I am to live my life like Jesus, were these people my friends?  I think so.  Each time I loved on someone I got the opportunity to share Jesus with them.  Most of the time the response would be, “but you don’t have to”, or “but you don’t even know me”, or “How did you KNOW?”  My response was always a smile and the response that they were loved.  They would ask for the source of that love and I would get a chance to share what God had done for me.  I hope they told other people how God blessed them that day.   Hopefully they would do something for someone else and pay it forward.

Jesus “paid it forward” for us.  There is nothing that we can say or do that will be greater or harder for us to do than He already did.  Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.”  (John 15:13-14)  Jesus laid down His life for us.  He was there for us even before we knew we needed him.  When we are sad and need a friend, He is there.  When we had a bad day and just want to scream and cry, He is there.  When we need a hug and some comfort, He is there.  Because we know JESUS, He is there for us.

What about those people who don’t know him yet?  How will they find out?  Who will teach them what it looks like to be a friend of Jesus?  Maybe it’s time to lay down your life and look for someone to help.  It’s not about dying, it’s about living.  It is very good to have Christian friends and Christian influences.  It is very good to hang out with people who can make your spiritual life stronger.  It is also VERY good to look for opportunities to share your faith with someone who doesn’t know Jesus yet.  Non-Christians are already watching the way you live.  Why not teach them to follow Jesus too?  Then they won’t be a “non-Christian” anymore.  J

SHARE YOUR FAITH.  IT’S CONTAGIOUS AND THE WORLD NEEDS SOME OF IT!!!

I found a couple of songs for you guys today.  Give them a listen and tell me what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyeyhOdgyYM&feature=fvwrel  Love Her Like Jesus by Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js_hgkHQ6Bc  Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson

If we have truly been changed, we have to give it away.  How can you do that this week?

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, We thank you for being our friend.  For always being there for us even when we forget to turn to you.  Thank you for the friends you give us to sharpen our faith.   Thank you for the opportunities we have to share our faith with others.   We know we need to be in fellowship with Christian friends, but show us who you need us to be friendly to, to share your love with.  We are willing to be your hands and feet.  We don’t want to be snobby, or shy.  We don’t want to take on bad habits to fit in.  We want the world to see YOU in our lives and want the love that we have.  Thank you for paying the price for our freedom from sin even before we knew we needed you.  We love you Lord.    Amen

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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