March 29, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 4 – You Can Handle a Difficult Break Up

I can remember when I was in Middle and High school… I never really dated until I officially got into high school. My dad was not really big on his daughters dating too much into our younger years in school. It was all girls in my family, so my dad tended to be a little sterner with us. He always said that he was a boy once, and he knew how they thought :). It did make it a little difficult for my sisters and me although, I will have to admit that yes, my dad was right: he knew how they thought.

As teenagers we all seem to think that our parents don’t know what they are talking about, we are quick to think that they are trying to make our lives difficult and hard, when all they are really trying to do is make it easier for us. They don’t want to see us hurt. They want to see us happy at all cost. Nine times out of ten, they have experienced heartbreak before and they desire to keep us from having to go through that type of pain.

Let me get to my story. I was in the 11th grade and I can remember my first real boyfriend. I was so in love with him. There was nothing that my wonderful dad could have done to help prevent that heartbreak from happening, although I am sure that he knew it was coming, because I was so head over hills for this guy. He was the perfect gentleman. We had dates to the movies, out to eat, long talks on the phone, good face to face conversations, etc… Then one day, he decided that he no longer wanted to date me. I was so heartbroken. I tried to figure out what I had done wrong, was it something that I had said, or did or didn’t do? It didn’t seem to matter because he just didn’t want to date me anymore. I was HEARTBROKEN!

My dad tried to comfort me, but it just didn’t seem to work. Honestly girls, I had to let God work His wonderful healing powers. I had to lean on Him to heal and mend my broken heart completely. Do I still feel that hurt sometimes? Yes I do, but I also remember how God sent people my way, who loved me dearly to help me work through that painful process. There were loved ones who baked me cookies, friends who sat and listened to me talk and held me when I cried. I can look back over that time and see how much God loved me that He desired to see me whole again. It was hard girls, it really was, but God got me through that painful process and He will do the same for you!!

There are two certain scriptures that are dear to my heart that show me that God is so concerned about us when our hearts are broken.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18

AND

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalms 147: 3

God never wants to see His children hurt and heartbroken. He definitely KNOWS how it feels, just think about how He felt when He had to watch His only begotten son on the cross, bearing all of our sins and He couldn’t help Him because that was the decision that His son made, just for us, so that we could all be united with Him again. He also had His heart broken when Adam and Eve sinned for the first time by taking a bite out of the fruit when they were told not to. Wow! Yes He does know how it feels to have your heart broken!

So when you are experiencing heartbreak, yes you can go to God! He knows what it feels like. Take your broken hearts to Him, because He KNOWS exactly how to heal and mend them back together again 🙂

Let’s Pray: Dear heavenly Father please help us to remember that we can bring our broken hearts to you because you do know how to fix them. When the pain may feel like it is unbearable, please take that pain and help us to use it for good. Remind us that you love us so much that you don’t want to see us in pain and that you want us to be happy. We love you Lord and it is in your darling son’s Jesus Christ name we pray. Amen

Love Tonya 🙂

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

 

Lady In Waiting: What If It’s Too Late?

I am not going to lie to you ladies; this will be the hardest thing I probably ever have to write about.  Furthermore, when I saw that I had this part of the chapter to write about I instantly felt sick to my stomach.  Then I prayed, and I know that God gave me this topic for a very special reason.  This is His way of telling me, you are ready to share such an ugly part of your life with others because of the beauty you have let Me make of it.  It is my prayer that as you read this you can get past the ugly my life once was and focus on the beautiful things that God has made from my messes in life.

I can tell you this topic alone has brought so many tears to my eyes; probably enough to make an ocean-no joke.  The past week I have been thinking to myself this part of the chapter is so personal, how can I possibly begin to share what God wants me to share with these women when I don’t want to even share it with myself?  Then I am reminded of Revelation 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.  There is power in our testimony ladies.  There is hope from our hopeless situations, purity can come from our impurity, and the only reasoning for these miracles is because of the victory we have over Satan and the only reason for THAT is BECAUSE of the beautiful sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  And that my friends, is how I can share what God so desperately wants you to hear today.

When I read the words on page 89, my heart sank.  “If you are reading this after the fact and are dealing with the guilt of the lost gift, do not be discouraged”.  The first time I read that it was about two years ago and I was very uncertain of how to not be discouraged.  Second time around, and two years later when I read that sentence I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to God that I am no longer dealing with the guilt of the lost gift.  What changed in two years you might be wondering?  Honestly, I changed.  Not because of anything I did, it was all because of what God did for me, on a cross.  He died and shed HIS innocent blood and took my guilt and shame away with Him.  Ladies, GOD DID THE SAME THING FOR YOU!  In those two years, I accepted personally what HIS gift meant for me; the new life I have freely been given!  My past did not change, but I chose to change the way I was living.  I chose to start embracing God and when I did I was no longer discouraged.  Have you done the same?

If you are reading this after the fact, please listen closely.  I understand the guilt, I understand waking up and feeling covered in shame.  I understand the pain behind every single tear that falls from your eyes.  I understand the pain of a broken heart.  My heart was broken … correction, shattered when someone who I loved took my innocence from me without asking my permission.  My natural response to this was not “this is all his fault for doing this to me”, instead it was “this is all my fault for letting this happen”.  I suffered with extreme guilt and it led me to turn completely away from God.  It was too late for me; I could no longer be a virgin when I got married like I had always dreamed of so I gave up.  I believed and lived out this lie for two years, living in sin.

One day the Lord placed A More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz into my life.  I was driving along; crying because of what I had just done, that I knew was so wrong, but I just did not know how to stop going back to that sin.  Out of nowhere, seriously nowhere, my preprogrammed country station became a Christian radio station, K-love in my car.  This is what I heard:

So turn around you’re not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It’s not too late, you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear, they can all be washed away

By the one who’s strong, can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry, all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light, He will show you truth
And again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl

My heart ached to hear those lyrics over and over again, but my tears got in the way.  I searched for that song for hours after hearing it and could not find it anywhere on the Internet.  Those lyrics God used to start to mend my broken heart.  But that was just the beginning of the mending.

I could not get over the fact that even though I did not choose to lose my virginity, I CHOSE TO KEEP GIVING MYSELF AWAY TO A MAN AND THEN MEN WHO WERE NOT CONCERNED WITH MY HEART, JUST MY BODY.  I fed into the lie that I needed this sin to be a part of my life.  I fed into the lie that I was indeed damaged goods.  These lies were so hard to get rid of.  What lies do you believe about your past?  What is tangling you up inside, making it seem impossible to get past the sins of your past?

PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE TO LET THIS TRUTH RUN THROUGH YOUR SOUL: No matter what your past may look like, all God sees is beauty.  Truly, if you are a child of God, if you have asked for his forgiveness for your mistakes, then you are living a beautiful new life!  God does not see the shame or guilt that weighs so heavy on your heart-He just sees your heart for what he created it to be.  His love is never out of reach no matter how far you have gotten yourself from accepting it.  God has the luxury of forgetting our sins, and we have the luxury of being forgiven and able to live our life filled with God’s love. 

Here is one of many examples of the beautiful things got has brought out of my ugly!  My heart was almost healed.  There were still some things I had to confess to God.  I walked into therapy with my pink journal in hand.  Each page was filled with sentence after sentence of pain, hurt, shame, guilt, sin, and ugliness.  I read aloud each page.  I ripped out each page and put it in God’s hands (literally my therapist drew God’s hands on a piece of paper and sat it against the wall).  As I was done with each page I prayed aloud to God.  I wanted to see His hands so I looked up, at that very instant His hands (the paper) fell over everything I had written.  That was the sign I needed that God loved me so much and that He took all of my shame and pain and guilt with Him where it belongs and left me with a brand new heart!  I am pure, I am a virgin, and I am not damaged, thank you Jesus!

Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your love.  Thank you for forgiving us and transforming our ugly past into such a beautiful life with you!  I pray that every single person reading this takes away the thing that you had planned for them to hear!  I praise you for the opportunity I have been given to share my heart with others.  I pray your many blessings upon each woman who has felt, it was too late for her.  I cannot put in words how thankful I am for healing our broken hearts!  We love you so incredibly much!  Amen.

Your Assignment:  If you are holding anything in from you past, get rid of it.  Please write it down and put it in God’s hands.  Let’s replace that space with God’s love!  Let’s be each other’s support system when temptations come or when we are starting to go backwards.  Please post below what God tells you when you are feeling bad for you past, I believe these words have the power to encourage and help each and every one of us!

Love you all so much!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!