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Captivating: An Adventure to Share – Why Beauty Matters

January 16, 2013 by

An Adventure to Share:

Healer, Protector, Provider, Savior, Defender – BEAUTY.  So that last one isn’t typically in my vocabulary when I describe our God.  Before I read this part of Captivating, that may have been one of the last words I used to describe Him.  In fact, most of the words I typically use are associated with the heart of man – a strong leader.  But wait!  Women are strong too…in the most beautiful way!

Ezer Kenegdo.  I’m not sure I can even pronounce that right, so I’m glad this is an online study.  BUT how awesome is this concept! To be someone’s Ezer, to be someone’s “lifesaver,” to be someone’s only hope.  Wow.  WOW!  And that’s the role and the responsibility God has placed on the heart of every woman.

“Women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place.”

We can be someone’s “Ezer” with just a smile, a positive comment, a loving remark.  I have to constantly remind myself that every day!  God gives us the opportunity to be someone’s Ezer with friends, co-workers, family, and even strangers.  You never know what just a little smile can do – you may have saved someone’s life! And that’s the beauty in you! That’s you, acting in God’s image, and loving a hurting world.  To be an everyday Ezer Kenegdos…that’s our mission!

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After I graduated college, I moved to Philadelphia, a humongous city where I knew absolutely no one.  The year and a half that I lived there was the most trying time I may have ever been through.  Many times, I found myself so incredibly exhausted – in every way.  Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Fortunately for me, I only lived an hour away from the shore of the Atlantic Ocean.  One lonely Friday night, I decided to escape.  Escape people, my exhausting life and situation, and run away…to the beach.  So I threw some PJs, a beach towel, and my bathing suit in a bag, hopped in my old, rusted car and headed straight for the shore.  Did I have hotel reservations? No.  A plan for the weekend? Not at all.  But what did I find? As the sun was setting over the ocean, I found God.  As I walked through a local flower show, I found God.  As I listened to the crashing waves, I found God.  I found God because I found beauty.

When was the last time you stopped your life and found God like that? Have you realized yet that this beauty that we find in nature – we are that beauty?  We, as women, are beauty incarnate.

Does your life exemplify the beauty within you?  Set aside the make-up and jewelry, your career goals, your obligations, society’s pressures…I want you to take a big breath.  Come on, one big one!  And exhale.  Good!  Now surrender all of those things to God and ask Him to help you reveal your true beauty.  Ask Him to reveal it in your attitude, your thoughts about yourself and others, and your actions.

You are beautiful.  You are created in the image of God.  You are essential.  You matter.

Praise Him,
Carissa

Let’s Pray
Father, thank You for who You are and who You have created us as women to be: a living example of true beauty.  Lord, I pray that all doubts or thoughts of insecurity be surrendered to You.  We know, Father, that when we rest in Your beauty, all is well.  Lord, help us to be that example of beauty to those around us, that beauty that we were created to be.  We love You, beautiful Savior. In Your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment
Find beauty today.  Meditate on the fact that YOU ARE THE BEAUTY YOU FOUND – and so much more!  Being with a woman who is at rest, a woman comfortable within her own beauty, is an enjoyable experience. She is trusting God, not striving to become beautiful, but allowing His beauty to more fully inhabit her.  Have you had the experience of being with a woman who was stressed, striving, worried? And how did you feel around her?

Which woman do you want to be?

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study, click HERE to sign up.

Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to send a personal message to Carissa in regards to this blog, you may email her at: Carissa@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

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Captivating: To Be Romanced – Beauty to Unveil

January 9, 2013 by

 

Ok, I have a confession. When it comes to movies, I’ve subjected every man I’ve dated to watching my favorite. Unfortunately for them, it’s not an action. It’s not a comedy. And some would say it’s not even in English. To what movie can I be referring? Why, to the one and only “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen.

In the movie, Lizzy, a very headstrong young woman, is notoriously independent and has an extremely quick wit. Her sister, Jane, even warns, “One of these days, Lizzy, someone will catch your eye and then you’ll have to watch your tongue.” I love that about Lizzy. She doesn’t need a man. She even turns down men and marriage proposals because she’d rather be single and destitute than live unhappily with someone for the rest of her life. But if this is where the story would end, I doubt so many women across the world would claim it as their favorite as I do. Oh yes, the story goes on.

The strong, “don’t-need-no-man” Lizzy falls in love. She falls in love with a conveniently rich and handsome gentleman by the name of Mr. Darcy. As we watch the rest of the story unfold (I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen), we also see Lizzy herself unfold. Her true heart. The heart God created in her. The heart that longed to be romanced, the adventure she yearned to join, and the beauty that she ached to unveil to one, special man. In this dramatic tale, we see many sides of Lizzy: the lover, the warrior, and beauty.

[“At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted, and pursued.”]

Our culture tells us to be ashamed of this desire – the desire to be romanced. But why? Romancing involves vulnerability. Much like Rapunzel, it involves waiting. Waiting is not glamorous or exciting. But we must wait on God’s timing for our prince to arrive and rescue us. It’s a helpless position, and certainly not one worthy of admiration. A woman of the 21st century doesn’t need to be rescued. Certainly she can rescue herself. But how silly would the story have been if the prince never came? If Rapunzel attached her hair to a nearby tree and climbed down the tower on her own. That’s a pretty lame story if you ask me. We need the prince and the death-defying rescue to create the adventurous story that we all know and love. Thus, our stories cannot be just about ourselves, our own power, and our own will. Our stories must include other people!

[“Made in the image of a perfect relationship (the Trinity), we are relational to the core of our beings and filled with a desire for transcendent purpose. We long to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure.”]

So cool! And I think it’s noteworthy that this “shared” adventure doesn’t necessarily have to be shared with a man. It simply involves people! This relates directly to our purpose for life as pointed out by Jesus in Matthew 22:37-39: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I know that God has a great adventure in store for each of us – and as women, it’s our duty to seek it. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” We must seek Him to discover these desires – the desires that He’s laid on our hearts from our very creation.

[“Many of us have hardened our hearts to this desire, the desire to be the Beauty. We, too, have been hurt so deeply in this area that we no longer identify, perhaps even resent, the longing. But it’s there.”]

How have you been hurt? I can recall many times throughout my life when I felt more like the Beast than the Beauty. Sometimes I am consumed with these hurtful memories. Sometimes they evidence themselves when I look in the mirror or can no longer fit into my favorite pair of jeans. But the Healer and Lover of our Souls has crushed all of those hurts. He gives us strength when we have none. He restores our hearts when we rest in Him and His love. God reassures us of our TRUE BEAUTY.

 

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Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, we praise You for instilling in each of us these womanly desires. Lord, we know that You knew us even before we were born, before the world even knew we would exist. Father, I pray that as each woman seeks You throughout this study, that each of us would find ourselves in You. I pray that each of us would embrace the unique and special woman who You created us to be. I pray that each of us would embrace the desires You have laid on our hearts no matter what our culture says or our hurts from the past. Heal us, restore us, and renew us, Father. We surrender our hearts, our desires, and our lives to You because You alone are worthy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Your Assignment

I absolutely love that God has given each woman’s heart these desires pointed out by Stasi and John. The best part, I believe, is that each desire manifests itself differently in each woman.

Think back on your childhood. Can you see these desires evident in a particular instance? Share your stories please!

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Praise Him!

Carissa

If you are interested in joining this amazing online Bible study, click HERE to sign up. Once you are registered, you will receive an email with further details.

If you would like to send a personal message to Carissa in regards to this blog, you may email her at: Carissa@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

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Lady in Waiting: Take the Radical Route

December 13, 2012 by

 

“Does it seem too unrealistic for today’s woman to set her sights on a knight in shining armor?…A single friend (a modern Ruth) wrote a letter in which she admitted that her high ideals often made her feel like the “Lone Ranger.” She said, “So often I meet women who don’t want to go the deeper, more radical route of separation from our culture in seeking after God’s standards.” Do we lower our standards because we seem out of step with all our peers? Does the woman in Proverbs 31 seem obsolete? Maybe for the “cosmopolitan” woman she is obsolete, but not for the Lady of Conviction. God has the best in hand for those who seek Him.

Ruth’s choice to wait for God’s best resulted in her union with a Boaz rather than a Bozo. Ruth not only married a man who was a “pillar of strength” (Boaz), but she also was blessed by the privilege of bearing a son (Obed) who would be part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. Ruth’s wise choices resulted in her experiencing God’s overwhelming goodness.

During this study, we have talked a lot about our convictions, setting standards that honor both God and our princess status, as well as sticking to those standards despite the condition of the world around us. If we live radically in our convictions, then we should expect opposition. Have you experienced any opposition from friends or family so far? What have they said? More importantly, how have you responded?

Let’s Pray

Father, we thank You for instilling Your Spirit in us, the One who convicts our hearts and draws us closer to Yours. Lord, You promise to uphold us as we follow You. So, Father, we want to hold You to Your promise and ask that You give us the strength to stand firm in our convictions when criticism, doubt, and peer pressure arise. Father, we can do nothing apart from You. Be with us always. We love You, Jesus. In your precious name we pray, Amen.

Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge 

begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

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Lady in Waiting: Developing Patience

December 6, 2012 by


Have you ever heard the phrase “Patience is a virtue”?  Well, curious-little-me decided to look up where that saying came from.  As it turns out, there is an entire list of 7 heavenly virtues (to counter the 7 deadly sins).  This list is derived from the Psychomachia (“Contest of the Soul”), an epic poem written by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius (c. AD 410). These 7 virtues include: chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.

Aurelius made a pretty good list, but I think he plagiarized or perhaps he drew some inspiration from Galatians 5:22-23:  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness self-control; against such things there is no law.”

So how can we develop these virtues?  How can we develop the virtue of patience?

I believe that if we ask the Lord to help us develop the fruits of the Spirit (patience being one of them) then He will give us situations and opportunities in which we can develop our requests.  It’d be nice if He would just zap us down some “instant patience,” but that’s not how He works.  And what a blessing! He’s given each of us that opportunity RIGHT NOW! We can practice and develop our patience now in our singleness so we may glorify Him wherever He may lead us in the future.

I want to draw your attention to three points made by our authors:

  • Marriage is not a need.
  • Marriage is not a right.
  • Marriage does not complete a person.

As I write to you, I cannot tell you that I will ever get married.  To be honest, God may not have that in His plans for my life.  And I must be okay with that possibility.  Ask yourself if you are truly okay with that possibility.  Have you turned your desire for marriage and a spouse completely over to God?  This is a daily submission for me.  “Lord, go before me today, and carry me through.  I want to do Your will today; I want to live the life You’ve planned and be the person You’ve created me to be.”

God put a verse on my heart this week to share with you, dear Ladies in Waiting.  Romans 8:37-39:  “Now, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present (singleness) nor things to come (either more singleness or marriage), nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

WHAT A PROMISE!  Jesus is our Husband and absolutely nothing can separate us from His love!  Not even ourselves, our impatience, our earthly desires, or our temptations can separate us.  As we wait, let us focus on our love relationship with Him.  His love is never-failing and never-ending!


In love,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, we know and trust that Your ways are higher than ours.  Help us to trust in Your plans and Your timing for the desires of our hearts.  Lord, make our desires to be Your desires.  Father, grant us a spirit of patience as we wait upon You.  Father, thank you for Your perfectly constant and completely fulfilling love.  We love you, too, Father.  In your precious Name, Amen.


Your Assignment:

I have two questions for you.  Answer whichever you prefer – or both!  

  • Do you consider marriage a “goal” for your life, and do you think it should be? As a Lady in Waiting, what should be our goal?
  • How are you developing a patient heart? Share your experiences and strategies with us!

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Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!
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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Wedding Day Chains

November 29, 2012 by

 

Today, I want to introduce you to Carissa Markantone.  Carissa will be blogging for you every Thursday, for our Singles Ministry.  I am extremely excited to have Carissa join us!   — Christi Wilson

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He asked. She said yes.  But in the back of her mind, something wasn’t right.  To be honest, something wasn’t right way before he asked.  But she ignored it.  After all, she’d seen his progress.  He was actually going to church now, he was leading prayer before each meal, he was reading his Bible on a … weekly basis.  That has to count for something, right?  She’d convinced herself that his “progress” was good enough.  Good enough to put a ring on it.

Three weeks later, she took the ring off.  And with tears streaming down her face, she gave it back.  Oh, and did I tell you? That woman…was me.

I’d love to tell you that since then, I’ve changed my ways.  I’d love to tell you that I haven’t been out on a date with a non-believer or lukewarm Christian ever since my broken engagement.  But I can’t because that would be a lie.  As our authors point out, I’ve definitely justified a date or two “in the guise of being a witness for Jesus.”

When you think of a missionary dater, what does she look like? My imagination runs wild with some Bible-banging woman speaking about Jesus with every other sentence.  In reality, this isn’t the case.  Missionary dating looks just like normal dating.  I think of Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar.”  What does Ms. Poppins do when the children don’t want to take their yucky medicine?  Why, she simply adds a spoonful of sugar! What does the missionary dater do when her man doesn’t want to include Jesus in his life?  When he doesn’t want to pray, read his Bible, or go to church?  Why, she simply adds romance (the spoonful of sugar) to help that yucky medicine go down!

Have you ever caught yourself justifying a relationship or a date that wasn’t God-centered as I have?  Missionary dating begins as a condition of the heart.  We’ve discussed motives a lot in this study, but the missionary dating motive is a dangerous one because it intertwines both emotional and spiritual intimacy with someone of the opposite sex.  Once those intimate bonds are formed, they are hard to break. In fact, only God can break them. So avoid creating those bonds with non-believers or even those with superficial faith.  If a man isn’t encouraging you to grow and isn’t challenging you in your own walk with the Lord, then he isn’t God’s best! Proverbs 4:23. Guard your hearts, ladies!

“You must set a higher standard and resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.”

So what does “growing in his intimacy with Christ” look like? I’d like to draw on the commonly quoted distinction –it’s more than religion; it’s a relationship.  Relationships require a desire for commitment, a devotion of time, and a consistent communication.  Does the man you’re interested in display these characteristics?  Did he prior to meeting you? Ladies, it’s more than attending church every week.  It’s more than saying a prayer before each meal.  And it’s certainly more than a coerced time spent with God every week.  He must want God.  He must want God more than he wants you.  Wow, that’s powerful.  He must want a relationship with Jesus more than he wants a relationship with you.

Regardless of your relationship status right now, let’s meditate on Ephesians 6:18:  “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (NIV) So, ladies, pray in the Spirit.  Submit your hearts and minds to the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, and then pray in His power. Let Him lead you, and listen to Him and only Him.  Put aside your good intentions, and let God take the reins.

God bless,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray:
Father God, we thank you for Your awesome power.  Father, that You and only You have the power to change the hearts of men.  Help us surrender our own will and our good intentions to You.  Father, give us patience for Your timing, trust in Your plans, and hope for the future You have in store for us.  While we wait, Father, let us live for You and You alone.  Let us be a light to a lost world by living for You each day.    Thank you, Jesus, for your unfailing love and grace.  In your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
These questions are loaded, so be prepared!

What is the problem with dating guys who are good, but who are not Christians? What is the difference between a good man who goes to church and a growing Christian man?  What difference would it make in marriage?
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage, which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Carissa Markantone joins us from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she’s lived nearly all of her 25 years.

Carissa was saved at the age of 5, but recently rededicated her life to Christ a little more than a year ago.  She has a huge heart for serving others, especially children with terminal illnesses.

Carissa desires to live every day for her King, striving for more of Him and less of her with each waking day.  Outside of her analyst duties at a major sporting goods retailer, Carissa enjoys spending her time with friends and family, reading, writing, working out, and singing praises to her Savior at the top of her lungs (the neighbors haven’t complained…yet)!

Carissa desires for every woman to know her worth through the eyes of God.  Her motto for 2012 (which will definitely carry to 2013) is “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.”  God doesn’t call us to an easy life.  Living for Him is hard, but it will be so worth it once we get Home!

Girlfriends Coffee Hour is very excited to add Carissa to our Singles blogging team!.  She has been an active participant in our Singles Ministry, and has been such a joy!  God is doing great things in her life!

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