February 25, 2025

A Daughter’s Worth Week 5 – Day 2: God Helps You Manage Anxiety

October 30, 2012 by

 

I have to admit something to you.  When I saw the list of topics I was to write about during this study, I laughed.  Out loud.  That’s right! LOL  I thought Ms. Megan had played some kind of cruel joke on me.  That’s right, this topic caused me ANXIETY.  How did she know that anxiety and depression are something I deal with on a daily basis?  How was I going to talk to you guys about managing my stress and control issues when I still struggle with it myself?  I am going to show you what I have learned and Who I go to when I feel anxious and stressed out.  I have found ways to control the stress and anxiety instead of letting it control me.

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ANXIETY

Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by FEAR of danger or misfortune.A State of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.

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CONTROL   To exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.To hold in check; curb: to control a horse; to control one’s emotions.

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STRESS

Importance attached to a thing.

The physical pressure, pull or other force exerted on one thing by another; strain.

Synonyms: 

Significance, meaning, emphasis, consequence

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Psalms 34:17 says:

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

You might say, “But I’m not righteous, I’m a teenager”.  The Bible says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33  Hopefully, by now you are beginning to seek God when troubles come to you in your life.  He is our Source and our Hope.  We will all have troubles in this life, but by placing our hope in the LORD, we will have renewed strength (Isaiah 40:31).

What Is Anxiety? 

For teens or anyone else, anxiety is a normal reaction to stress. Things like tests, meeting new people, speaking in public, going on a date, and competing in sports can make us feel apprehensive. Some of us feel stressed at the thought of posting something about our lives on our secret Facebook Prayer Groups.  Some teens react much more strongly to stressful situations than others. Even thinking about the situations may cause them great distress.  I think that no matter how you were raised, how you handle stress now or how you plan to handle stress in the future, the Bible has the answers as to how and why we feel that stress and anxiety.

1 Peter 4:12-13

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Anxiety can be a good thing when it helps you deal with a tense situation. For example, when you’re studying for a test, a little anxiety can make you want to study hard so you do well. But at other times, anxiety can be harmful, especially when it is excessive and irrational, and prevents you from being able to focus.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Sometimes the anxiety can come between you and your friends, especially when you avoid going out with them or calling them because you’re too panicked or tense. That’s when you need to do something to feel less anxious, so you can fully enjoy your teenage life. (This is where your secret Facebook Prayer Group would come in handy).  You are not alone.  Every human goes through stressful times.  It is in these times that we get to practice what we are learning from our study.  We get to share our experiences with other who are going through the same troubles we have gone through or are going through.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

In our study, the author states that “even though God removes worry from your mind, He might not remove the source of anxiety.  The coach may never treat you fairly; your boyfriend may dump you, and your parents may get on your nerves.  But somehow, in the midst of the stress, you can feel an unbelievable calm.” (p. 64)

I try to make a conscious effort to replace stressful thoughts with prayer, scripture, or praise songs.  One of my favorite verses is one with ATTITUDE…whatever…

Let’s PRAY:  Heavenly Father, we come to you and bring the stress of our day.  We bring you all our anxiety, all our issues that cause us to take our eyes off of YOU.  Father, we claim your peace and your compassion and your comfort.  We want what only you can provide for us.  We know that you are the Source that heals our broken hearts and you bind up our wounds.  Father we pray that as we find comfort and peace in you, we would be able to share what we have learned with our friends.  We want them to come to know you the way we know you…LORD.  We love you.  We thank you for caring for us and for removing the worries from our hearts and minds.  Amen

Much love to all my girls,

Mama T  <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 5 / Day 1: God Helps You Deal With Disappointments

October 29, 2012 by

 

I had to think back to my teenage years for this blog. For most things from my teenage years, it is difficult to remember the details of excitement surrounding certain events.  Prom, I know it was great, I remember the dress I wore, but who all went with us, what car did we take, where was the prom, where did we go afterwards??  I am just not sure of these specific details.  School, I remember the good times, I remember the papers I wrote, the classes I hated, all of the information I learned though I am not too sure about.  In fact I think I told myself to forget if ice cubes are a solid or a liquid…it worked because I still am not too sure.  But certain things I can try to forget but I never will be able to.  The disappointments that I went through in my teenage years, I remember them all.  I can tell you very specific details of just about every disappointment I faced as a teenager.  I am sure you can think of several disappointments you have gone through or are going through right now.

When disappointments come into our lives they cause so much pain and hurt.  But, when you are finally able to look back on them you can be thankful for those disappointments and where they brought you-closer to God.

How many of you desire to be close to God?  How many of you desire to hear from God?  How many of you desire to feel love from God every moment of every day?  I know when I was your age, I desired those things.  I would hear older, wiser women talking about their time with God and what He spoke to them, and I always wondered how to get that with God.  Yes I want to hear from God, but he is not talking to me.  I believed that because I was younger than the women who I heard these tales from God was unable to communicate with me and be close to me.  What a lie-if we open our hearts to God no matter what age we are God will make Himself known to us, we will feel His presence.

If I really think about why these women were able to hear from God and I was not I believe I know the answer.  It was how I was handling my disappointments when I was younger.  I was trying to fix all of my problems on my own.  I was not asking God for help through the pain, I was hiding it all inside.  There were even times I was disappointed in God because of the trials I was constantly going through.  By taking God out of the equation for fixing disappointment I was pulling myself further away from God.  I was making it impossible to hear from Him.  I was avoiding hearing from Him simply because I thought I could not.  I did not know God was capable of helping me.

Do you believe God is able to help you?  Romans 8:26 insures He does!

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 

One thing we can be certain of is that disappointments will come our way.  There is no way to avoid disappointments in this world.  But, take heart because God has OVERCOME THE WORLD.  When disappointments do come into your life, ask God for help.  Tell Him your desires to grow closer to Him and to feel His presence more through this disappointment.  Use this disappointment to hear from God.  Instead of turning away from God, run into Him will all of your strength, help, and love.

When I look back on each disappointment I do not feel pain, I see God working to make my life just how he intends it to be.  I see the Lord’s love in each one of the trials I have been through.  I get to experience HIS comfort.  I am thankful that what was intended to cause me pain, God used to bring me closer to HIS comforting arms.  Just a little fun fact for you: an ice cube (not melted) is a solid.

Let’s Pray:  Lord, I thank you so much for each one of these girls in this study.  I ask that you make yourself known to them.  I pray that they are able to see YOU and feel YOUR comfort, and know YOUR help in the midst of disappointments.  I ask that you use these painful times in our lives to draw us closer to you.  Thank you for praying for us when we are just not able to.  We love you so much and we thank you for each disappointment we face, because we trust you are there through them with us, each step of the way.  AMEN.

Much Love,

Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Winning Him Without Words: Believe your Marriage is Blessed – The Way to Mismatchdom

October 29, 2012 by

Did you know he wasn’t a Christian when you married him?

How many of you have been asked this question from others in your lifetime?   Raise your hand….

For me it was and is always a hard question to answer and I even fear will I be asked today.   It is so hard having to answer this question over and over and you know sometimes when you get asked you know the person asking is genuinely concerned about your marriage and then sometimes you wonder do they ask just to “talk about you” and I think that is the hardest for me.

How many of us made up answers to this question because we just didn’t want to face the facts again?   We thought of many creative ways to tell others “NO I didn’t know that about him”.

 I did know this before I said “I do” and yet I still said “I do”.

As I stated before to all of you I was not taught about marrying a non-believer so to me I thought, no worries, you can change him after you get married, don’t worry now, all is well.

Guess what…..I could not then and even now after all these years “I” still can’t change him.    All I can do is pray that he will allow God to do the changing.

Pg. 84 “God is calling us no matter how we arrived to be the presence of Christ in our husband’s lives”.  You don’t have to hold back any good thing from your husband just because he doesn’t believe in God, instead your loving treatment of him may cause him to have a change of heart!  This is not to say that a wife has the power to save her husband’s soul; only the Holy Spirit can accomplish that, but you can certainly influence your husband (without words no less!) and show him the love of Christ.

We don’t have to brow beat God or have a Gospel ambush onto our man, instead just know that we are to be obedient to Christ and live Him in front of our man. Your man will recognize love when he sees it and if you are being obedient then you are showing him “God’s love”. We must remember we are the conduit to bring God into our marriage.

A good statement I heard in a sermon once is “no one was ever nagged into the kingdom of God”. If our spouse is on the receiving end of criticism and manipulation —they’re going to run. The harder we try, the faster they run.

Don’t give up, God is fully aware of our situation, when we recognize God’s presence we can relax and stop trying to do God’s job and that is when we will begin to enjoy our marriage again, tensions will ease and we won’t have to constantly be talking to our man about our faith, because we are living it in front of them  (remember, actions speak louder than words) they will see!   We aren’t better than our spouse just because we are the believer, he will see right through all that and we must know that this superior attitude is not showing or providing a warm welcome to who Jesus is.

You can speak the Gospel loud and clear by never mentioning the name of Jesus. We’re not authorized to judge others (Matthew 7:1). Sometimes in marriage we’re prone to judge because of what we know —or think we know —about our spouses. We do know that God cares about our mates. The struggle may take time, and may even challenge our faith. We can trust God to nurture our spouses and our marriages.  Scripture says that he may be won, not he will be won. It does not say that because we have a quiet, gentle, and meek spirit that our husband will be saved in two weeks. We need to try not to analyze why our spouse won’t “take hold of the cross.” I have dwelled on this thought many times and realize I am taking up time enjoying him and our life by wondering “when” will he make a decision.

Isaiah 40:31 tells us that those who hope and wait on the Lord will renew their strength. That’s God’s promise of what time spent with Him will produce. This should be our pursuit right now… ask yourself how can I live more victoriously in Christ and be a living and visual testimony to my husband of who Christ is?    When we can answer this question we will “see” and “believe” that our marriage is blessed and as Dineen states on page 84 “we will have no reason to feel shame or condemnation for our choice of a husband.

Let’s pray:

God help each of us to be a walking, talking testimony to our husbands, help us to help them to see Jesus in every moment of our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

How can you be “the presence of Jesus in your husband’s life this week?   Tell us about it…

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Devotion

October 28, 2012 by

 

Wow girls!  I can’t believe that we have made it through our first month of our study!  I know it has stretched a lot of us, and it has been difficult for many of us, but ladies – we are doing it!  This is what God wants.  God wants us healed.  He wants us close.  He wants our undivided attention right now.  I am proud of each and every one of you for taking this journey and wanting to be the best you can be, no matter what your marital situation.  Remember, that doesn’t define you, our Lord and Savior does!

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Here is our reading assignment for Chapter 5, you will notice we will be adding some meditations this week, we hope they bless you and help you carve out some time to spend with Him:

October 29:      Lady of Devotion – Jackie
October 30:      Meditation – Michelle
October 31:      Seeking True Love  – Tonya
November 1:    Meditation – Katie
November 2:    An Advantageous Position  – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Lord Jesus thank you.  Thank you for loving us so completely.  Thank you for continuing to draw us close even when we wander.  I pray for each and every lady in this study.  I know that life circumstances sometimes seem to get in the way of the study, or other things seem more important, but Lord we know that it is time with you that is truly most important.  Help each of us make time to dedicate not only to you, but to this study.  You know each woman’s struggle, you know the challenges they face.  Come along side of them and give them the strength they need to continue.  Thank you Lord, we love you and are so grateful for you.  In Your Name we pray.  Amen

In Him,

Michelle

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 5: Managing Emotions

October 28, 2012 by

Isaiah 12:2-3

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;

he has become my salvation.

With joy you will draw water  from the wells of salvation.

Emotions are both complicated and complex and can be amazing while at the same time really annoying! Even “the experts” are not sure what causes us to experience emotions. Both social science and neurobiology have tried, to no avail, to explain the origin of emotions. For Christians, emotions can be troubling, frustrating, and untrustworthy. Some emotions seem deeply spiritual; other emotions seem downright sinful. God created us to experience emotions, yet there are still godly and ungodly ways to manage them.

Emotions seem to be my “super power.” God gave me this crazy gift of being a super-feeler…. if I am happy, I am insanely happy, If I am sad…. get out of my path! As much as it can drive me crazy, I know that God created me this way for a reason and I am trying my best to embrace it.

As a teen, I know I drove my family crazy, especially around “that time of the month,” with my crazy emotions. One minute I would be so excited and full of joy and the next I would be bawling my eyes out because I missed the first part of my favorite song on the radio. Can you relate?

As an adult with my own kids, I have learned that confusion is NOT of the Lord and that keeping the drama of life as far away as I possibly can from my world helps me to keep my emotions in balance. The more I seek the Lord to guide my steps and rule my life, the more manageable my emotions become.

This week, our amazing blogging team is going to explore with you how God fits in helping you to…..

  • Deal with disappointment
  • Managing anxiety
  • Squashing jealousy
  • Clearing up confusion
  • Celebrating your happiness

Lord, I thank you for creating us with emotions and I pray we can learn this week how to best manage them for Your glory! Thank you for making each one of us the exact way that we are and I pray that you will help us relate to each other through exploring what Your Word says about our emotions. Father, I ask that you bind our thought this week and keep satan at bay as we dig deep into Your Word and what you have for us. Help us stay focused and keep all confusion away! We love you, Lord, and we thank you for this provision. In Jesus’ name, amen <3

Love to you all,

Megan 🙂

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Finding the Priceless Pearls

October 26, 2012 by

 

When I looked at the schedule and saw I had this section of the chapter to talk about with you ladies, I was ecstatic!  I am pretty sure this is my favorite chapter.  When I read, A Lady in Waiting years ago, I wrote down this sentence from page 61: From the time you wake in the morning until you go to bed at night, set your heart’s desire on exalting Him.  This paper is sitting in my nightstand drawer.  Every time I read that sentence I pray that I am able to do just what is says that day.  Through the years I have learned what exactly it means to exalt God.

I have not always exalted God.  In fact for three years of my life, my heart’s desire was not for God; it was for a man who I tried to make my God.  I lived to honor this man, I lived for this man, from the time I woke up in the morning until I went to sleep at night I made this man a huge idol in my life.  This was the absolute worst time in my life.  He was very abusive, controlling, manipulative, and to put it simply, his heart’s desire was to destroy me and to sit back and watch in slow motion as he painfully ripped every single one of the pearls away I had received from God the day I accepted Him into my heart.  The worst part was I could not defend these pearls he was taking so viciously from me, because I had no idea they existed.

When all I was left with was an empty strand where beautiful pearls once laid, it was my turn to add new pearls.  Instead of adding God honoring pearls to that strand, it slowly started getting corrupted with ugly pearls of drunkenness, provocativeness, impurity, idolatry, outbursts of anger, carousing, anxieties, depression, and honestly I could probably go on and on.  I did not know what God honoring qualities and character looked like for me.  I saw it in other people, my sister and grandmother especially.  They wore their pearl necklaces proud as they should, and I was happy for them and others who did just that, but I had lost all hope for myself.  I truly believed it was too late for me.  I never thought the day would come where I would wear the pearls God has been preparing for me.

I can very thankfully and happily say that today, and every day, I stand confident in the pearls that God has picked out just for me.  I found them all, some I had to work so hard for, others he so graciously gave to me.  One pearl on the strand I think I am most thankful for is, LOVE.  There are no words this side of Heaven to describe to you the benefits and satisfaction in God’s love.  This is one pearl I never have to work for.  God’s love is there for me, even when my strand was covered with sin, His love was still there, on the other side of the clasp, but still, IT WAS THERE!  One pearl I still struggle with is self-control.  When I read this book, years ago, I wrote in the margin, WORK ON SELF CONTROL.  For whatever reason I ignored that note since it was written years ago.

This is what I learned when I saw that note staring in my face the beginning of the week.  We all have access to the God honoring qualities and likeness he teaches us about in the Bible.  Yes, they are beautiful pearls.  But, for whatever reason, we sell ourselves short.  We believe the lie that we are not good enough for God’s best.  We know of the qualities and pearls we can have in Christ, but we choose or settle for the qualities or pearls we have grown accustomed to in this world.  We go for the dime store pearl necklace when waiting for us is the priceless one in Heaven.

Exalting God is when we put aside the dime store necklace we have felt comfortable with and set our eyes and hearts above to the ONE and only who will give us the pearls HE desires for us.  Exalting God is when we let the Holy Spirit fill us with the pearls we are so deserving of from up above.  Exalting God is when we praise Him and honor Him with the pearls he has provided us with to treasure on our “necklace of virtue”.

Let’s Pray:

Father God, I thank you and praise you so much for the priceless pearls that you have for each and every one of us.  I pray that as we continue this study we strive to exalt you every moment of every day.  I pray that each and every one of us on this journey is able trade in the dime store necklace for a necklace of virtue so graciously given to us by Your Spirit.  Thank you for going along this journey with us.  I pray our heart’s desire YOU alone.  I pray all of these things in your precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

What is your heart’s desire?  Spend some time today being honest with God about what pearls you have on your necklace.  Tell Him what ones you want to remove, tell Him what ones you need help getting to their full potential.  Think about what exalting God means, and desire to spend your days doing JUST THAT.

Love you ladies all a super bunch!!

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Have you accepted Christ into your heart?  Is His Spirit living inside of you?  If you have not, but would like to pray, please contact our prayer team at prayer@girlfriendscoffeehour.com .  Someone from our prayer team is waiting to pray with you! 

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 5 – Know Why You Work So Hard

October 26, 2012 by

 

How many of you have felt overwhelmed with all of your activities? I know I have. When I stop to think of all that I have to do it can be a daunting task. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says “whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” What does that look like for you?

Growing up, we lived behind the store my dad initially set up for my mom to run while he went to work in Memphis, TN. This meant my brother and I had to pitch in and help mom with chores around the house and the store. Seemed to me  that I got all of the hard stuff to do and, I have to admit, I rebelled. I did not see that I was helping my mom with some of her load when I was told I needed to help stock the shelves in the store, or when she asked me to clean the ‘house’ on Saturday morning. I was a selfish teenager that refused to do it well. Then, God convicted me, and showed me where I was a spoiled brat and not doing what I needed to do to honor my parents and help them. Have you ever felt that way? I started doing what I needed to do. Mom never said thank you, but I know she appreciated my help. I felt that I was doing what God knew I should be doing.

Ava asked us to indicate where we are doing our best. How many of these items did you select? How many do you want to achieve? Try to do them one by one. If you are doing them already, you will only have to add those you are not doing. If you need help, say with being organized, look for ways to organize your accessories. Start with something small and you will get a great deal of satisfaction when you step back and see your completed work! God only wants what is best for us.

Nothing is too hard for Him to take on if we just trust him with it. However, it does take action from us!

 

Colossians 3:17 says “and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Give thanks for what you have, for what you will receive, and for what is going on in your life at this moment. I know that is hard when you are facing adversity. The last thing you think about is praising God for the situation, but when we do thank Him, it changes our perspective and we can know that God has us in His capable hands.

Our memory verse for this week is Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” I want to know that what I do is going to glorify my Father in heaven. I want to know that when people see what I do that they know something is different in me from what someone else will do. Our love for God should shine through no matter what the task is whether cleaning the bathroom or writing that term paper for that boring teacher or that boring class. Seek doing things that will ignite your passion to do your best!

 

Let’s Pray:

Father, I want to serve you with all that I have. Show me where I can grow, where I need to change my heart, and where I can be a help to others. Help me not be rebellious or stubborn, to not roll my eyes when asked to do something by my parents. Help me to do all things with Joy, knowing that I am practicing to serve you in the future.

~Tina

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: God Is The Wild Hope Maker

October 25, 2012 by

   

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

I love that verse. It hangs in our bedroom in a beautiful picture frame because it is a message I wanted to be reminded of every morning after going through a certain season of my life. The hoping and praying comes easy for me, but being certain was a struggle and this verse is the perfect reminder of what our faith in God can really do.

There was a time not too long ago when I questioned if God really had a plan for me. I used to believe he had a big one for me because I had escaped death 3 times in 38 years and am still here. God doesn’t almost take you 3 times for no reason. I always felt He was keeping me here for a purpose. But my life had been so mundane and at times down right miserable, I started to doubt my faith in God having a plan for me. What’s worse is I started to blame my husband for interfering with God’s plan for my life.

As I was learning more about what God wants from everyone, I didn’t look at my own faults and shortcomings. I was looking at my husbands. I could name off all the things HE needed to do to be blessed and saved by God right off the top of my head and figured once he fixed all his problems, blessings and prosperity would come flooding into our household. I never thought I had issues that needed to be addressed. I just thought that being yoked to him was my hindrance. After all, I was the one reading the word every day and pursuing God, so what else would I need to do?

I even started to believe that my husband was my ministry! But for some reason he wasn’t willing to listen to me tell him what he needed to do to have a better life.  The nerve, huh?! So I’d get angry at him, because remember, I thought it was all his fault that my life’s purpose wasn’t being realized. Oh brother. How’s that for putting too much expectation on your husband! I had misplaced my faith.

In this chapter Dineen asked “who am I waiting for?” Thankfully this question was put on my heart during this time. My answer was, I was waiting for my husband to fix his problems. To my eye, his problems seemed heavier than mine. I was praying to God to speak to my husband’s heart and motivate him to change. Finally God said to me:

God: What are you doing to fix you?
Me: Wait…What? I don’t have anything to fix, do I?
God: Um, yea, ya do.  Are you serving your husband, or judging him?
Me: Okay, God. I get it.

From that point on, my whole thought process changed. I started to ask God to point things out in MY life that I needed to improve or change. The list was long, by the way! I asked for his daily guidance and I asked how I could be a blessing to my husband. I spent a lot of time in Proverbs 31 and learned how to be a wife that my husband could be proud of. One who served her husband, took care of her household, raised her children with love and sought out to help others. I quit making my husband my ministry. Instead I made myself my ministry. I’ve said this in a previous post, but I now focus on being an example to my husband instead of being the nagging wife telling him what to change and how to do it. It’s the old adage, actions speak louder than words.

Please keep in mind this was not easy at first! For over 15 years I expected my husband to be my everything, as well as being perfectly pleasing to God. I struggled with “who was gonna make ME happy”.  A lot! But the more I showed love and kindness to him on purpose, it really started to make me feel good. I was making myself happy by providing joy to my husband. I was, and still am obeying God’s command to serve my husband and being rewarded in tremendous ways.

I was a score keeper, too. If he did something that hurt my feelings, I’d do something to hurt him. If he forgot my birthday, I’d be sure to “forget” his, but also remind him that he had forgotten mine. That all had to go. No more keeping records of wrongs. I continue to treat him as I want to be treated and I am “wronged” less and less each day.  Think about it this way, is it more important at the end of the day to be right or more important to be loved and give love to your husband? I threw the score card out & chose love.

And what about God’s purpose for me? Well, in hindsight I think God put me through that tough season of my life so I could write about it right here and share it with you all. I can help you learn from my mistakes or I can sympathize with you because I’ve been there. But most important of all, I can show you how well it turned out in the end by just listening to God and taking the focus off my husband and turning it on myself.

Lets Pray:
Dear Lord, help us to keep our faith placed in You. Remind us that You are working in each one of us, even though we cannot see it, we can be certain of it. Help us as wives to respect our husbands and serve them as best we can. Keep us from judging them. Keep us from trying to fix them or make them our own personal ministry. We know we need to leave them to You, but sometimes we are impatient and try to do things in our time, which only hinders Your plan. This is why it is so important for us to meditate on Hebrews 11:1 and to keep our faith placed in You and be certain You are doing Your work in them, as well as in us. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
Dineen said that men need respect and some even equate it with love. I read this to my husband and asked him what his definition of respect is. He told me “kindness.” He said that just the act of me being kind to him made him feel I respected him. For your assignment today, I want you to ask your husband his definition of respect and list it below. At home, take that definition and USE it! If it’s kindness, be more kind. If it’s not questioning or judging him, don’t question or judge. I’m excited for you to see how much of a blessing this will bring to your marriage!

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 4 / Day 4 – Know Where to Direct Your Steps

October 25, 2012 by

Direct my steps by Your Word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me

Psalms 119: 133

Everywhere that you go, you are to give God honor and glory. My prayer has always been that when people look at me, I hope that they would see Jesus. It isn’t always about me. It is easy to get caught up in what we want in life, verses what God requires from us. The only way that we can direct our steps is to go to the One who has ordered them in the first place J It reminds me of one of my favorite songs when I was in Middle School. It is “Order My Steps” It goes a little something like this: Order my steps in your word dear Lord, lead me guide me every day.  I have attached the link to the song if you would like to listen to it.

http://youtu.be/A3FXgRHOXfE

Girls, we can’t go where God wants us to go if we don’t have a clue where it is that he desires for us to go. As I have said before, we don’t want to make an unnecessary trip, when we can go to God first and let Him direct and lead us!

There are so many things that God has for us to do. There are so many people’s lives that God wants us to touch. There are going to be times when God will ask us to go places to reach people, friends, family members in order for them to see who He really is. We can’t stay in our comfort zones and not step out into the deep. If we stay in our comfort zones, we will be allowing the enemy to win and we can’t afford that, now can we?

I can remember my very first job, working at a church in the downtown area of Memphis. My boss, the pastor of that particular church, believed in stepping out of your comfort zone! He had me follow him to one of the busiest corners in the neighborhood and he began to pass out pamphlets and began talking with some of the youth that were hanging out on that corner about Jesus and it was the beginning of an awesome relationship with them. They started coming to the center/church and they eventually found Christ, or shall I say Christ found them, and they are living their lives for Christ! I dare not think about what would have come of their lives if he had not stepped out of his comfort zone or let God direct his steps. God is awesome like that!

He taught me how to go where the people were that God wanted to reach as well, especially those places that had people who some were  afraid to minister to. For you girls, this may look like a skating rink, park, school cafeteria, neighborhood, library, etc… just to name a few places. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zones!!! Jesus will be right there with you! Stay in communication with God! He will direct your steps on where to go and who to reach out to! He won’t have you putting your lives in danger, but you MUST stay in complete communication with Him.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I thank You for each girl who is represented in GCH: Decaf. Each one is precious in your sight and you have so much in store for them, and so much for them to do. I thank you for directing their paths to GCH: Decaf and I pray that they will get from this ministry what they will need to go forth and do what you have called for them to do. I pray now in your Darling Son Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.

<3 Tonya 🙂

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: To Tell the Truth

October 25, 2012 by

Today’s blog is brought to you by Katie Blumberg

It was young adults ministry night and I was nearly certain that he was going to be there. You know, the man I was going to marry. Yep. I already knew who he was, I just had to figure out a way to get his attention and keep it. So as I straightened my hair I plotted out what I would say when I saw him. I did not want to seem too interested and at the same time did not want to ignore him entirely. But if I could figure out just the perfect, adorable, flirty but not sexy things to say, I was certain he would be hooked. On goes the makeup that I don’t usually wear. And where did I leave that adorable button-up top and my favorite flats? Finish with lipstick and slap on a smile, grab my bible and notebook and I am off to meet my destiny.
Have you been there? Found yourself so wrapped up in the idea of seeing your dream-man (or meeting him for the first time) that you become everything but yourself in the midst of it. Your entire focus is on this man, that you may or may not even know well enough to give him such devotion. You may be doing things that, on the outside, seem like they are for the Lord. Going to ministry events. Working or volunteering at the church. Helping out in the youth ministry. Joining a small group. Etc., etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong – these are all really great things to get involved in – but check your motive. If you are not doing this solely for the Lord, you may be involved in the wrong group or ministry.
So here are some questions to ask yourself if you really are not sure about your motives for getting involved in ministry: If that special guy was not going to be there, would you still want to put time and effort into it every week? If you never ended up with this guy, would his friendship still be of value to you? Is this something that the Lord is calling you to do, or are you in it because there is a possibility of meeting your future husband? Are you involved in ministries that include other single women, married women, couples, and brothers and sisters of all ages?
If you can answer these questions by honestly saying that he Lord’s will is your greatest interest, then kudos to you! You are on the right track, Sista!! But if you examine your motives and find that, in your most honest moment, some of the ministries you are involved in would not be a part of your life if that special man were not around, maybe you ought to re-examine your commitment to these things.
So, back to that special night that I was preparing myself for. I arrived (classically late, as always), found a couple of friends to sit with, and began scanning the room. No sign of him yet, but he’ll be here. The message began and I pulled out my bible and notebook to follow along. Still not there. I even left an extra seat open just in case he arrived. No such luck. I spent the entire night eagerly looking to the door at every stir I saw in the corner of my eye. I missed the message that was spoken, couldn’t concentrate through any of the prayers, and did not even involve myself in the question and answer time or small group conversation. The entire evening I spent either excitedly waiting to bat my eyes at dream-boy, or wallowing in my disappointment that I had gotten dressed up for nothing, yet again.
When checking my heart on my motives for this night, I realized that they were all wrong. I was not involving myself in this ministry because I wanted to draw closer to the Lord. I was not in it in order to grow, I was in it because I wanted an opportunity to meet a man. I wanted to take, not learn how to give.

What are your motives?

Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for your grace and mercy. Thank you that you know our hearts better than we know them, and we praise you for loving us even still! Please help us to honestly assess our hearts and our motives for the things we do. Change our hearts to desire your will for us, and to stop inserting our own will. Give us peace as we wait for the man you have set apart for us, and help us to become more and more like you each day. Amen.
Your Assignment:
Honestly assess yourself based on the “test” on pages 58 and 59 of the book Lady in Waiting. You don’t have to share your exact results, but in all honesty, do you fall more on the side of pursuing the Lord, or on the side of pursuing a husband? If so, ask that the Lord would reveal to you how you ought to change that.
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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
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