February 25, 2025

Winning Him Without Words: Key #9: Keep Your Armor On – You’re at War! (Reading Assignment)

November 25, 2012 by

I hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving holiday! This week we are preparing for battle! Let’s get that armor on!

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Reading Assignment

Nov 26 – Eph 6:10-12 – Keep Your Armor On / The Battle We Can’t See
– Beverly

Nov 27 – Belt / Breastplate / Shoes / Shield
–  Jennifer

Nov 28 – Helmet / Sword / Martyr
–  Donna

Nov 29 – Basic Training
– Sarah

Nov 30 – Discovery / Prayer
– Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father, you are in ultimate control of it all. Help us to see you in our daily struggles. Show us how to put on your full armor so we are prepared to fight against the evil of the world. I pray that you touch the hearts of each woman in this study. Open her mind, heart, eyes, and ears to what you have for her this week. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction (Reading Assignment)

November 25, 2012 by

Welcome to week 9!  I can’t believe how much we have covered already, and the topics will only get better and more helpful as we come up to our closing chapters.  This week we are going to learn what it means to be a lady of conviction, and how stand stong in our Lord.  I pray that this study is blessing each and every one of you.  I know for me it isn’t easy, but it is definitely beneficial, no matter the struggles.  We are perfectly imperfect and as long as we continue to seek Him, we will grow in Him each and every day.

Here are the reading assignments for the week:

November 26: Lady of Conviction / Damaged Goods / Destiny – Jackie
November 27: Chance or Choice / Standard Bearer – Michelle
November 28: Avoiding Bozos – Tonya
November 29: Wedding Day Chains – Tonya
November 30: The Man Worth Waiting For – Diane

LET’S PRAY

Lord, I ask for your blessing upon each and every woman in this study.  You know their hearts even better than they do.  Through this study, through this book, and especially through your Word speak to them.  Give them what they need to hear and give them the clarity to recognize it even when it isn’t easy.

In Him,

Michelle

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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Lord, Teach Us to Pray – Week 9

November 24, 2012 by

Today we continue a series entitled Lord, teach us to pray!  Do you ever cry out with that same desire as Jesus’ disciples did — “Teach {me} to pray”?

Each Saturday over the next couple of months, we will intentionally pursue asking the Lord to do just that—teach us to pray.  I believe that, as we continue to look at learning how to pray through the Scriptures, we will develop into daughters who delight, yearn, love to pray to their Father!!!  This is my heart’s desire.

Jesus was asked this important question by His disciples. One of the places that it is recorded is in Luke 11, verse 1: “Then He was praying in a certain place; and when He stopped, one of His disciples said to Him, Lord, teach us to pray….”

Listen to the words that He spoke to them when they asked:

Pray, therefore, like this:

Our Father

Who is in heaven,

hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts,

and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

And lead (bring) us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

The first week, in this series, we focused on the very first, and most important aspect, of Jesus’ instruction—addressing God Almighty as “Our Father….” We found that He wants to be our Father…our Abba Father!

The second week, we looked at the very next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed of  importance—”Who is in heaven.”  This attribute tells of the utmost importance of God Who is in heaven.  And we also were reminded of an awesome promise from God, that we will dwell for all eternity with Jesus and our Father, Who is in heaven.

Then we came to the third aspect, as we followed Jesus’ instruction,— “hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.”  And we looked at five examples in the Scriptures where Almighty God is described as holy: we saw the Psalmist proclaim that ‘You are holy’…that the prophet Habakkuk called Him ‘my Holy One’…that Isaiah saw in a vision God seated on His throne with the seraphim proclaiming ‘holy, holy, holy’…that Jesus our Lord prayed  ‘Holy Father’…that one of the seven angels praise Almighty God saying ‘You Who are and were ‘O Holy One.’  What a privilege that our Father…Who is in heaven…would allow us to come before Him and call Him ‘holy!’

After that we looked at the next aspect of prayer that Jesus deemed important—‘Your Kingdom come.’  We considered the question, “What is the Kingdom?” by focusing on just two ways to understand what Jesus meant.  The first connotation that “Kingdom” has refers to the eternal Kingdom.  And then to understand “Kingdom” in another way, we looked specifically at Matthew chapter 13  where Jesus spoke in parables and used tangible examples to help His disciples (and us!) to understand the importance of having the Kingdom established in our hearts.  He wants you and me to be in that Kingdom along with Him.

The following week we focused on another aspect of Jesus’ instruction: ‘Your will be done.’  It is Almighty God’s will that we are to be concerned about…not our own.  We considered scripture after scripture and saw our Lord’s constant example showing that it was not His will that was important but His Father’s.  If it were ever possible for anyone to justifiably state and act on their own will, it would have been Jesus; true?  Jesus always desired His Father’s will, always sought His Father’s will, always purposed to know His Father’s will so that He always did His Father’s will.  And what did we find was His Father’s will?—salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ.  We were assured that at the very foundation of God’s will lies our hope, which is salvation through Jesus leading to eternal life.

And the next week we studied the phrase ‘Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ from the perspective of our Lord’s life and ministry.  In John 6:38 we read that Jesus came down from heaven not to do His own will but to do the will of His Father on the earth.  Jesus was always the perfect example to His disciples, and of course, to us.  We, too, can live with that same heart as Jesus did.  God has promised to lead us, to guide us, to show us His Will.  We looked at a number of promises that God has given us regarding our knowing His will.  Jesus, Who knew His heavenly Father like no one else did, desired to do God’s will.  God’s perfect will.  He simply and clearly taught His disciples AND US to do the same.

The following week we considered the phrase, “Give us this day our daily bread.”  We recognized that Jesus IS the ‘bread of life.”  We looked at John chapter 6 where Jesus spoke repeatedly about this.  We clearly saw Jesus’ heart of compassion, wanting them (and us!) to live forever by partaking of the Bread of Life—Himself—and receiving that blessing.  We also looked at  Jesus’ instruction that if they would pray, “give us this day our daily bread…” they would be humbly acknowledging that their heavenly Father already KNEW what their needs would be that day.  For us, just like Jesus’ disciples, it is when we recognize our immense need for God’s provision that we step back from trying to accomplish it (whatever ‘it’ may be for that day) and let the One Who has so much to give to us provide so perfectly for us!  Let’s remember: Jesus answered their plea to teach them to pray, and in the midst of that instruction, He directed them to pray, “give us this day our daily bread.”  Then, He gently reminded them that God already provided that daily bread for them!  (AND for us!)

Then last week we focused on the next direction Jesus gave as He taught His disciples (and now us!) to pray.  It is the request to “…forgive us our debts.”  In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus addressed the issue of forgiveness in two different ways.  We looked first at the record where Peter asked Jesus how many times did he need  to forgive him and let it go? Jesus answered him, ‘I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!” Nothing has changed.  We, too, are to forgive “…seventy times seven…”  (In other words, just keep on forgiving!)  Then Jesus gave further clarification and direction to Peter and the other disciples about this important issue of forgiveness by teaching them through a parable (verses 21-35). He held nothing back in communicating that forgiveness, or the refusal to forgive, is an issue of the heart.  We saw a righteous example of compassionate forgiveness (the king forgiving the servant his debt of 10,000 talents).  And, in comparison, the depiction of the forgiven servant having a hardened, merciless heart that refused to forgive  his fellow attendant’s small debt.  In the completion of this parable, the king then does have him thrown in jail because of his lack of forgiveness.  Jesus tells His disciples (and us!) in verse 35, “So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.”  God through Christ has forgiven us for so, SO much!  And He compassionately, mercifully, and lovingly, continues to forgive us as we repent and ask.

Here in the ninth week of studying our Lord’s instruction, His next direction to His disciples (and us!) is to ask our Father to “lead us not into temptation…”  This phrase must be kept in its context which attaches it firmly to the next phrase, “but deliver us from the evil one.”  (We will look at this second half next week.)

Of great importance is to remember that God does not “tempt” anyone.

James 1:13,14

Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one.

But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).

Clearly, THE tempter is satan, our enemy.

Matthew 4:3

And the tempter came and said to Him, If You are God’s Son, command these stones to be made [loaves of] bread.

So if satan was Jesus’ tempter, he would also attempt to do the same thing to us.

Hebrews 4:15

For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

So thankful to know, are we not, that Jesus, our High Priest, our Intercessor, our Mediator, our Redeemer, our Savior, our Lord, is right there to help us.  We are not alone in handling temptation.  He understands and has shown us how to handle satan’s tempting.  The following record clearly shows that as Jesus was tempted by satan His response—the very thing that kept Him from being tempted—was the truth of the Scriptures.  Jesus replied to satan each time, “…it is written….”

Matthew 4:1-11

Then Jesus was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil.

And He went without food for forty days and forty nights, and later He was hungry.

And the tempter came and said to Him, If You are God’s Son, command these stones to be made [loaves of] bread.

But He replied, It has been written, Man shall not live and be upheld and sustained by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.

Then the devil took Him into the holy city and placed Him on a turret (pinnacle, gable) of the temple sanctuary.

And he said to Him, If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for it is written, He will give His angels charge over you, and they will bear you up on their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

Jesus said to him, On the other hand, it is written also, You shall not tempt, test thoroughly, or try exceedingly the Lord your God.

Again, the devil took Him up on a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory (the splendor, magnificence, preeminence, and excellence) of them.

And he said to Him, These things, all taken together, I will give You, if You will prostrate Yourself before me and do homage and worship me.

Then Jesus said to him, Begone, Satan! For it has been written, You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him alone shall you serve.

Then the devil departed from Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

We, too, can have the assurance of the truth of the Scriptures when our enemy tries to tempt us.  The psalmist, David, had such a confidence in his heart.

Psalm 119:11

Your word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

Verses 97, 98

Oh, how love I Your law! It is my meditation all the day.

You, through Your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies, for [Your words] are ever before me.

Verse 101

I have restrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep Your word [hearing, receiving, loving, and obeying it].

Being encouraged by David’s heart for His God and by following the perfect example of our Lord, we can resist the temptations of the enemy by refuting him with confident, bold communication of Truth—the Truth contained in the Bible.  Be encouraged!

“For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it] ” (Hebrews 4;15,16).

Oh. How. He. Loves. Us. So.  <3

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This week, in our study A Daughter’s Worth, we have been focusing on dating with discretion, having Godly boundaries, retaining a heart of purity—not being tempted.

Ask yourself:  ______ (insert your name here), how much worth do I have if my Lord Jesus understands and sympathizes with my being tempted?  How much worth do I have knowing that my heavenly Father has enabled me to resist temptation through the Truth contained in the Bible—”it is written”?   <3

“…Lead us not into temptation….”

Love, Coleen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Lady In Waiting: Mystery of Contentment – Stop Arguing with the Umpire

November 23, 2012 by

 

Every once in a while I will see a status on Facebook from my married friends out there that introduces her husband as something like this…the love of her life, all she ever needs, her savior, her one and only.  Every time I see that all that comes to mind for me as the only thing that could ever fill those descriptions perfectly is MY GOD IN HEAVEN.  God does not have to share me with anyone just yet; I like to think that is why I am still single; He just isn’t ready to share me yet!  Have you ever thought of that before?

In reality the man we marry one day is not perfect.  He is far from being the love of our life or all we ever need, he most certainly is not our Savior, and he is not the only one for us.  If you are wishing and dreaming and hoping and wanting your husband to be those things…you will never find contentment.  When you truly search for God and seek Him will all of your heart, you will find that He is the true love of your life, all you need, your Savior, and most certainly your One and Only!  This is where your contentment is found.

In our world it is very easy to fall into the trap of the lie that when you finally get married, you will be completely satisfied and content in your husband alone.  That lie is seriously deadly.  We are putting expectations on a man who were never intended for him.  We make this husband we are searching for an idol in our lives.  This world is the last place you should be receiving relationship advice from.  Our God in Heaven speaks relationship advice to our hearts, we just need to open our ears to Him and listen.

The relationship advice He gives us is all for the relationship that we can have with HIM.  As single ladies and also as married ladies, our focus can sometimes be shifted onto other relationships in our lives or the search for a relationship in our life.  We lose contentment when we forget about the most important relationship we can have with Jesus.  Jesus is where we will find lasting joy, peace, love, contentment, and the list goes on and on.  Our identity is found in God alone.  He is where our heart is.

There will come a day when God will hand over the key to our hearts that he has been guarding our whole lives.  He will share us with the Godly man He has planned for us.  We must not be in danger of taking that key out of His hands and giving it to the first man who comes along because the clock is ticking and no potential soul mates are in sight.  That is just about the worst thing we can do.  We should be waiting for God’s timing and the journey does not have to be a lonely one, you have Jesus to go along with you every day!  The journey of a single woman is one I believe a married woman would envy just as much as we envy a married woman’s husband and family from time to time.

I believe the most important thing about these single years is that we have the opportunity to find all of the things we desire in God alone.  We want happiness, love, joy, peace, security, etc.  We can have all of that and more in God alone!  When our Mr. Right does finally come along, we are not expecting him to be what he is not able to be for us; because we have already found all of that in God.  This is where true contentment comes into play.  We find that no matter the circumstance, we have God.  No matter if we are single, or married, we are never alone and we are always cared for.

I am famous for taking matters into my own hands especially when it comes to my love life or lack thereof.  I fight with the Umpire-God.  I fight for my husband.  I am learning to give up the fight.  God has already done the fighting for me.  All I have to do is embrace HIS plan for my life and my love life.  I need to embrace the victory God has already won for me!  He has won victory for you too.  Don’t let the lies from Satan steal your contentment any longer!  Stand firm in God’s love for you and embrace this life He has given you each day!  Thank Him for the man he chooses to share you with one day.

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Let’s Pray:

Father God, I praise you and thank you for being all that we truly ever need!  I love that you bring true contentment to everything in our lives from the little to the big.  I ask that you help each of us married or single to embrace the life you have blessed us with.  I pray that you help each and every one of us to strengthen our relationship with you.  I thank you for the opportunities we have to grow closer to You, help us to make the most of each of those opportunities instead of missing out on the joy they bring by wanting what you do not have for us.  I thank you for listening to us and loving us so much!  Amen

Your Assignment:

Honestly think about the man who you would want to share life with.  Tell God all about what you are looking for, pray over your list.  See what God shows you He has for you-man or no man.  In our group, share with us one way you have tried to take your love life in your own hands.  How can we help one another to give up the fight and embrace victory with God?

Love to you all!
Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 5 – You Can Enjoy Being Single

November 23, 2012 by

 

Growing up in the South, it meant that teenage girls were supposed to have a boyfriend and be ready for marriage by the time you were out of high school. If you didn’t then you were expected to find a job and maybe find a future husband there or at college, if you could afford to go. That was a lot of pressure for a young woman, who may not have the self confidence she needs to be in a healthy relationship.

Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians said it is better for you to be single, so you could be about the Lord’s work, than if you were married, because being married would be a distraction. So by reading 1 Corinthians 7:32 would you say that you could still serve the Lord if you were dating someone? I know it would be hard, unless he was as dedicated to serving as you would be.

Waiting for God’s best may not be easy, but it is so worth it. He may not want you to be married. He may want you to be a missionary that travels around the world telling others of His love for them.  He may want you to get married in your forties. Whatever God’s plan is for you life, make sure you are praying for clarity and not what you want. Ask him to give you a peace and comfort while you kneel before our heavenly Father and give him your heart and let him bring you his best.

Let’s pray,

Father, I want to do my best is serving you. Show me how I need to do this in order to bring blessings and honor to my life and glory to yours. Thank you for what you do for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Spiritual Monitor

November 22, 2012 by

This year my goal has been to slow down. To take the time to seek God in all that I do and to not rush into words and actions; so when I read this section of the chapter I was excited because it lined up with my slowing down plan. However, I never thought that this plan would extend to my friends and how I reacted when I was listening to their excited stories. But there were a few points that stood out to me in regards to this.

  • “Encourage your friend, instead to wait until she sees how the friendship develops”
  •  Our excitement and the excitement of our friends can distract from developing the relationship with God.
  • Psalm 62:5 “my soul, wait thou only upon God; my expectation is only from Him”
  • Do not run ahead of the Lord in your relationships.

I think that learning these things ourselves first will help us to become spiritual monitors for our friends.

There are three other key things needed to become spiritual monitors, both for ourselves and for our friends. These are 1. A relationship with God, 2, prayer and 3. Love. If we try to reign ourselves in, and tame our tongues without these three factors included, we will not be successful.

Talk about an eye opener for me. I always thought that my excitement for my friend’s stories is what made me a good friend. I thought that sharing the magical what if’s with my friends was what I needed to do to support their dreams and desires. But, in reality I need to be encouraging them to spend time with God and encouraging them to work on developing their relationship with Him, while He develops their relationship with others.

Thousands of needless tears,
Produced by careless cheers,
Assuming that Boaz is finally here,
When the arrival of her prince is not even near…
~JMK

Yes we can encourage our friends, and be excited from them. But we as spiritual monitors should make sure to remind our friends in love that their lives are in God’s hands and to not let their excitement distract them from the one relationship that truly matters.

With Love,
Tonya Ellison

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Let’s Pray:

Dear heavenly father, you have placed people in our lives to be our spiritual monitors. You have place d these people here in the times that our emotions are high and in times when we may not be seeing clearly. Thank you for a loving person to remind us when we’re becoming distracted. Please open our eyes and hearts to their wise words. Please remind us to focus on our relationship with you and trust that you will and that you are working on our behalf in all situations.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

Your Assignment:
Do you have a spiritual monitor? Or have you been a spiritual monitor to a friend? Share with the benefit of this person in your life and how their words blessed you in your situation.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: A Front Row Seat

November 21, 2012 by

Take a stroll with me down the streets of Orange, Texas, a small town located on the Louisiana border, where I have resided for the last 25 years.  One of the main attractions in Orange is The Lutcher Theater.  Though a small town, we here in Orange are very privileged that The Lutcher plays host to big name celebrities throughout the year.

Two blocks down the street from The Lutcher is another theater called Orange Community Players.  It is here one will see familiar faces of people in the community, using their God-given talents in the performing arts.

Five miles north of town is The Bush Family Theater.  In this theater, God Himself, is the producer.  On any day of the year, He is producing some of the highest quality dramas, unlike The Lutcher, or I dare say, Broadway has ever produced.

It is in this small home theater where God casts my husband as the main character in each  drama.  The role he is playing is a true story and it is all about God relentlessly pursuing him for his eternal salvation.  An analytical, strong-willed man, who feels he is self-sufficient and has no need of God, he is totally clueless about what is going on between him and God.

I kid you not, every time I watch another episode, my mind races back to the farm I grew up on in Georgia.  Not only did my daddy grow peanuts like all farmers do in Georgia, but he had a large herd of cattle and hogs.  Once a month, Daddy would load up about 50 hogs that he had been fattening to take to the market to sell.  He’d back his big truck up to the fence and line it up with the  “hog shoot.”  For all you city girls, a hog shoot is a narrow wooden passage that the hogs walk up to enter the truck from the field.

Now, the old hogs did not “gracefully” walk up the shoot.  They had to have a little prodding.  Daddy had just the thing to get them going in the direction of the back of his truck – -a hot stick.  This was a battery operated device that gave them an electric shot in their rear that guided them up the narrow passage way into the back of the truck.  Poor hogs – -they had no choice, but to enter the truck.

I am sure you know where I am going with this.  My man has no choice.  God’s guiding hands will get him in the back of His truck.

Yes, it is all being played out before my eyes, and I get to have a front row seat, just as Lynn talks about on page 129 in Winning Him Without Words.

I just feel it in my bones that the final episode is about to be produced.  When it is, you are invited to Orange to the little theater five miles north of town to the celebration. I will kill the fatted calf that I have been fattening up for this occasion.

Outside The Bush Family Theater, the marquee will read: “My Son Which Was Lost Is Now Found.  Admission FREE! Come on in!”

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Let’s pray:

God, I thank you for pursuing each of our husbands, not only for their eternal salvation, but that they grow in grace and in the knowledge of you.  Help us to live our lives before them as 1 Peter 3 calls us to, and not interfere with what you are doing in their lives.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen

Your assignment:

Have you seen God in some way pursuing your husband?  If so, how?  The big question is:  “Did you stay quiet and not interfere in what He was doing?


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If you are interested in joining us for this Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of this page, in the menu bar, and complete the sign-up form.  We will add you once we receive your request.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 3 – You Can Go Too Far

November 21, 2012 by

I don’t think I could even begin to count how many times I have heard the question, “How far is too far?” And if I never have to hear that question again, it’ll be too soon. With that being said, that question has come out of my mouth. I have such a problem with this question because it is basically asking how much we can get away with. And how many times have we asked or heard someone say, “…well, the Bible only says that sex itself is wrong before marriage… It doesn’t say anything about the other stuff.” WRONG-O. Ephesians 5:3 says that the Lord wants there to be “not even a HINT of sexual immorality” in our lives.

I will be the first to admit that I did not value or protect my purity when I was in my teens. Did I have sex? No. Did I make allowances for the “other stuff”? Yes. I am being honest with you girls because I do not want you to be deceived like I was! I do not want you to think, “Well, it isn’t sex so it’s okay.” This is SO not true! It is NOT okay. Here’s why… When you start to bring the physical stuff into a relationship outside of marriage it BLINDS you and prevents you from seeing the reality of your relationship. That means that you can’t even tell if you really even like this guy! Another reason it’s not okay- The world tells you that only sex forms an attachment to a man. I can tell you first hand, that is false. You also, at some point, deal with shame and guilt.

If you’re like me and have had that “How did I get here?” moment, you know how disappointed you were. Disappointed in the boy for not stepping up and protecting your purity, but more often than not, you’re disappointed in yourself. The enemy LOVES when we have messed up and are grieving over our sin. He loves to come in and make us feel so much worse. Conviction and guilt are NOT the same thing. Conviction is from the Lord. When you are convicted about sexual purity, you know that God’s Word says to stay away from sexual immorality. And if you have taken part in sexual activity, you can repent, turn away from that sin, and run to the Lord. Guilt, on the other hand, makes you hyper-aware of your sin. You sit and you wallow in self-hatred for hours on end. And forgiving yourself? Ha! Yeah right. That never happens when we allow the enemy to make us feel guilty.

So where do we go from here if we have messed up? Or how do we prevent that from ever happening? We trust that God knows what’s best for us. He knows that it is not good for our hearts for us to take part in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knows that it will only end in heartbreak. If you’re currently having sex outside of marriage, please, please, please stop. Your Father in Heaven is not One to make rules to make us miserable. The guidelines He puts in place are to protect us, because He loves us, and He wants our future marriages to be AMAZING!! Girls, you HAVE to be intentional about setting boundaries in your dating relationships. Here are my new boundaries~ I am not going to kiss another guy until the day of my wedding. I can hear your gasps all the way from over here. I just know that I do not want the enemy to have ANY stronghold over my life, and I am not about to give him any opportunity. Set your boundaries TODAY, BEFORE you get in a relationship. Write them down. Tell them to the Lord. Tell them to a friend to hold you accountable. If a boy is pressuring you to do anything physical, I HIGHLY encourage you to get out of that relationship. You deserve to date guys who HONOR your boundaries and who have made decisions and set boundaries themselves.

Let’s pray~

Lord, Thank You for setting boundaries for us! We know that those boundaries are to protect us from heartbreak. Lord, set girls FREE who are reading this- free from sexual sin, free from the lies of the enemy! Give these girls the strength to make boundaries and stick to them. Give them armor around their hearts, that they would be guarded from any deception. Thank You for Your grace when we mess up. Thank You for freedom from sin! We praise You, Lord, for the GIFT of sex… A precious thing that is a gift if kept within the context of marriage. Give us discernment to know what is right and wrong, and give us discernment to know WHO is right and wrong for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Lady in Waiting: The 11th Commandment – Prenuptual Fantasies

November 21, 2012 by

The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not defraud thyself.

 I wanted to look up the meaning of fraud when I started reading this section of the book. The Miriam-Webster dictionary describes the word defraud as depriving someone of something by deception or fraud.  What am I depriving myself of? My contentment. I want more than what I have, I don’t take the time to slow down and pray about a situation before acting on it. I try to convince myself that a situation may be more than what it really is. I am deceiving and defrauding myself.

Sometimes reality gets boring, and sometimes reality can make me feel less than happy when I look at where I am and where others around me might be.

Remember, God wants to protect us, He wants the best for us, but we need to slow down and step back before acting. “To heed the eleventh commandment, you must consciously resist doing another good deed for a man in your life until you know the motive behind your “unselfish” gesture”. The authors of this book aid it beautifully.

Another thing that I try to always remind myself is that God made me to be an emotional person; women in general are emotional and at times these emotions try to get the best of us. We feel a flutter in our hearts and we run with it. We see the possibility for an open door and run through it, without taking the time to see if that is the direction God wants us to go in.

We need to go back to checking our motives. Why am I doing what I’m doing?

The authors also say that “a dedicated Christian should do good deeds, but if you limit your service to the men in your group it will ultimately backfire.” I want to stretch this a little further. If we do good deeds for only a selective few in our circle it will backfire, if we’re doing things for others only to benefit ourselves it will hurt us in the end.

God has our situations in His hands, He will make things happen when they need to happen and he will bring the relationship to us in his timing with the person of his choosing. We need only be willing to let Him. We need to enjoy His gift of contentment.

This doesn’t mean that if we find ourselves interested in a person that we have to run in the other direction. What it means is that we need to seek God. We need to give the situation to Him and pray that his will be done. We need to check our motives before doing good deeds, before jumping into the situation with an open heart.

Remember, a good Christian should do good deeds for those God places in your path. He wants us to show his love through our actions to everyone.

With Love,

Tonya Ellison

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Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for everything you have given us. It feels as if life gets boring at times, it feels like the lives of others is more than ours. Please help us to remember that you love us, and that love provides what and who we need. Please help us to recognize when we are defrauding ourselves and help us turn to you. Thank you for creating opportunities in which we can do good for others. Please remind us that we are to help all of your children because you are love. Touch our hearts when our motives are not in the right place. Thank you for your mercy and grace Lord.  In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen

Your Assignment: When you feel the pull of defrauding how do you counteract it? Please share some ideas, scriptures, quotes that you use to remind you to be content with what and who God has placed in your life.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

 

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 2 – You CAN Insist That Boys Treat You Well

November 20, 2012 by

When you CAN do something it means you are Able, Permitted, Possible, or Designed to do something.  That is pretty awesome to think that I was designed to be able to insist that people treat me well.  Does that mean that every person in my life WILL treat me well?  Uh, NO!  Do I have to accept that behavior from them?  Uh, No.  So, why would I let a boy treat me any less than God created me to be?  Uh, WOW.  Do you know what the past tense of CAN is??? COULD.   Could hurts me to say.  Could means that I made a bad choice and, if I could go back, I would change what happened.  Could usually comes with regret. 🙁

In our home, if we have a hard time deciding if something is right or wrong, we take it back to the Bible and see what it says about the subject.  When we have friends or family members who treat us poorly, we look to see if our behaviors have lined up with the scriptures.  The verses we go to about relationships is 1 Corinthians 13.  It’s called the LOVE chapter.  We all want to be loved and want to love other people, so why not seek out what LOVE is from the source, GOD.

 So the Bible says this is what love IS.  Anything that doesn’t look like this is NOT love and you can WALK the other way or INSIST to be treated with love.  Sometimes that is hard to do.  We may have to walk away from our friends or that cute guy that we want to like.  We may have to stand up for ourselves and tell our ‘friends’ (and sometimes our family) that we don’t want to be treated in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable.  When we deal with our friends and family, we also need to follow these verses and treat them with LOVE.

If a young man wants your attention and wants to love you, he will make you feel smart, funny and pretty. (And not because of what he can get from you)  He will never ask you to do anything that will make you ashamed or feel dirty. (Love does not insist on its own way, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing)  He will want you to spend time with your friends and family and would even want to hang out with you.  (Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it is not arrogant or rude)  Boyfriends should draw you closer to God, not pull you away from Him.  (Love rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things)  Boyfriends should always make you feel good inside; not sick, worthless, jealous or angry.  (Love endures all things)

When you are a teenager it is hard to find a boy that can measure up to all these standards.  Sometimes you want to lower your standards just to have someone you can call “yours”.  Each time you give your heart away, you lose a little piece of yourself.  Most teens are not able to love someone else more than they love themselves. That takes maturity and maturity comes with living life and seeking God.   It is almost impossible to find a teen boy who loves you the way God created you to be loved. It’s OK to wait for that person God has been preparing just for you.

In my family, with so many daughters, we have many different opinions on the topic of dating and boys.  Some of my daughters want to wait to have a boyfriend, to hold hands, to kiss someone; to give him her heart until she is ready to be married.  Some of my daughters enjoy having a young man to call her own and share her “life” with.  A couple have gotten tired of waiting, tried to make it happen on their own and have had broken hearts.  I love them all and continue to point them back to 1 Corinthians 13 to help them decide if they are being treated with love and if they are treating others with love.  There is no cookie cutter answer about having a boyfriend because girls are not cookies.  =D

In our study, Ava Sturgeon says, “As a daughter of worth, you should expect to be treated well.  Dating the wrong guy is a tragic waste of you.  God’s beautiful potential.”  How true!  Protect your heart.  You are going to need all those pieces of yourself.  If you find that your heart is already broken into little pieces, take them to God and let Him put them back together.  He will.  It’s not too late.  He wrote the book on LOVE, so trust Him to show you what perfect LOVE looks like.

If what you are seeing and receiving from people does not match up with what the Bible says you deserve – turn around and head back toward God.  You are on the wrong path.  That leads me back to my life verse, Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your paths”. 

You CAN insist that boys/men/parents/siblings/friends treat you well.  You CAN treat them well in return.  It’s not too late to get on the right PATH facing God’s direction.  Be blessed my friends.

Let’s Pray:

Father we thank you for creating us with the desire to be loved and to want to love others.  Lord we want someone to love us the way YOU love us.  Father, give us patience to wait on the person you are preparing for us.  Give us people in our lives who support us, care about us and protect our hearts.  We know that you are the source of all love and good things and that is what we want for ourselves and for our friends.  Help us to always look to you for guidance and keep our feet on the right path.  We love you, Lord.  Amen

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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