November 26, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Throw Me a Life Preserver!

October 10, 2012 by
Jesus answered,
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6
The decision I made to follow Christ was the single most life changing decision I could have made.Once I decided to follow Him I immersed myself in Him. We literally ate, drank and slept Jesus. It was a time of learning and seeking for both my husband and I. The things I learned and resolved were so freeing!
As I grew in Christ I learned to forgive. I was able to let go of the unforgiveness I had for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents when I was a child. That forgiveness was for me as well. I had carried it around for so long and letting go of it gave me a freedom in my heart I didn’t even know existed!! God has said the truth shall set you free and I was free indeed. So in my journey with Christ I have learned to recognize that nudge from God when I need to let something go and forgive.
Having already confessed that I am somewhat of a control freak, letting go is sometimes hard for me. I need refining and reminding just like Lynn says. Our marriage is always being refined and I think it should be. As we yield our marriage to God, he loves and shapes us into the couple who can serve Him free of all the hurts and pain we bring on each other. Our life journey is together as well as separate. We experience life and problems from our own unique perspectives.
As I yield these experiences to God and choose to let Him lead, I react in a right and godly way. My husband sees that and hopefully wants to respond that way too. We, as their wives, are a constant example of Christ to them since we live together 24/7. I’m always asking God to show me how to respond, move on and forgive if I need to, in the situations in our life. Now I’m not always successful, I fail more times than I want, but I get right back up and try again knowing God always gives me another chance. The little things I let crowd in and fester can be let go of  if I yield it to my Savior.
Twenty years ago, when I gave up looking for our new house because our supposed “dream house” fell through, I let anger take over. I left it to my husband to find us a house. He finally chose one that I hated! It had gold shag carpet, gold draperies, and brown and orange wall paper in the dining room! It was ugly! But my husband saw potential. So once again I had to choose not to be angry and let it go.
The choice to let go of the control of choosing a home for us and leave it to God and trust that my husband had made the right choice was not easy. I prayed and spent much time speaking out to God that I wanted Him to be in control. Giving it over daily was all I could do.
My husband has literally remodeled every room in the house and even built us a beautiful bedroom retreat with a balcony just for us!  Our home is beautiful thanks to God and my husband. I can praise God that he chose it and my husband for all the hard work he has put into it. God took care of my needs and our marriage too. I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory!
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Let’s pray:
God we love you. Help us to let go of things that hold us back from making us all you want us and our marriage to be.  Free us form those strongholds that we let take over. Free us to move in our marriages just the way you want us to. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name Amen
Your assignment:
Are there things in your life, like I had in mine that hold you back in your marriage? Unforgiveness, anger, control? Let’s name some of these things and purpose to give it to God and then let’s pray for one another over them. After all the body of Christ need each other and what better way than to pray for our sisters to be free??!!
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If you are interested in joining our FREE Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of our webpage, and follow the instructions.  We’ll be glad to get you signed up!
Blessings,
Donna
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Winning Him Without Words: “It’s Safe to Relinquish Control”

October 9, 2012 by

Control.

Why do we desperately hold onto it? What are we afraid of? I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. Since returning to Christ two years ago, God has repeatedly revealed my controlling tendencies and convicted me of them, especially in the realm of my marriage. It is not pretty. I am not sure how my husband lives with me, but I am thankful that the Lord is showing me a better way and that my husband has a measure of patience. When I took a good look in the mirror, I realized that I needed to focus on saving myself, not my husband.

So, I can relate to this whole chapter in a big way. But this section on control . . . I felt like Lynn was talking directly to me.

Even though God has been working on me, I do not have it all together. There is still that part of me that wonders… can I really, truly, 100%, no holds barred, relinquish this salvation-of-my-husband-thing to God? Some days I think I can. Other days I am not so sure. I will release it to God one day and the next day, I will take it back.

Why is it so hard?

As Lynn Donovan states on page 44:

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis
  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him
  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

And two of my own . . . the ones that lies in the deepest recesses of my heart. The ones that are hard to even type. What if I never get to see my husband come to faith? What if he does not get saved? If I do not become actively involved in my husband’s salvation, then who will?

Well, Lynn smacked me upside the head humbled me with her next statement:

All of this is true, yet you are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.

Ouch!

Lord, I am so very sorry.

Why do I keep trying to BE God in my husband’s life? God is certainly capable of handling things just fine on His own, thankyouverymuch. I mean, He grabbed me without anyone bombarding me with open Bibles or Christian music. So, why am I trying to do it for someone else?

Lynn tells us that two things will happen when we finally let go of our foolish and unproductive efforts to save our men:

  1. We will discover new freedom – the pressure we feel to bring our spouse to Christ will lift. We can just enjoy our spouse for the man that he is.
  2. Our husbands’ will experience freedom – he will no longer need to feel uncomfortable or try to deflect our crazy attempts to bring him to faith. He can RELAX around us. Our faith will become LESS OF A THREAT in his eyes. It will free him to explore faith at his own pace, in his own time, at GOD’s leading.

Ladies, I am right there with you. I am scared. I can talk a good game and feel like I am living it sometimes, but other times I take it all back and try to do it on my own. It is hard to relinquish that control. But, God really does have this. He wants our husbands’ to know Him and to love Him even more than we do. Our God will never stop pursuing the lost and bringing them to Himself (read Luke 15:3-10). In fact, when we step in and try to take on God’s job, we just get in the way and make more work for God! Are you ready to put your husband’s salvation in God’s hands and truly let go and let God handle it?

*****

Let’s Pray:

Father God, in the name of our mighty Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask you to give each woman in this study a courageous strength to release their husband’s salvation into your capable hands. We know that you love our husbands’ even more than we do, Lord, and you want a deep and abiding relationship with each of them. Help us to get out of Your way and to let You do the work in our husbands’ hearts and lives. Please reveal anything in our own lives that we are doing that is causing angst or stress to our husbands’ and marriages and help us to repent of it. In your name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Tell us why it is difficult to fully let go of your husband’s salvation and give it completely over to God.

Many blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Join the Winning Him Without Words Bible Study!

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

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Winning Him Without Words: “Don’t save your husband – save yourself”

October 8, 2012 by

This is something I have run through my mind about so many times, thousands of times.  I have gotten up on Sunday mornings and wondered Lord will today be the day that my man will surrender everything to You? I look at him as he is lying in the bed and think well it could be Beverly!   I picture him getting up and saying honey I think I will go to church with you today (oh and by the way he did go with me yesterday)….I picture him going into the church service…I picture him headed to the pastor telling him “I want to surrender”…..oh what a day that will be!!!

But at this time after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, that is still what I am doing, praying, waiting and hoping.

My husband and I met 37 years and married 33 years ago. At first he attended church with me and then slowly stopped going  (which now makes me wonder did he go just for show back then)…until one day he stopped going all together except for special things.

God kept drawing me closer into a relationship with Him and yet my relationship with my husband was not growing the way “I” wanted because I now had something I wanted both of us to have but he was not at that point yet.  Oh, other aspects of our marriage were great but this was something that was a standing wall between us.

Yes I could have written the handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

I was not a total “Jesus freak.” I would come home and make him sit and listen (I just thought he was listening) to things I was learning in God’s Word. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch. Most of the time all of which he avoided.

There were times we would be at odds with each other. I would sometimes find that I would blame some of our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, I thought if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I would begin trying harder to ensure he was hearing God’s messages by playing my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house. Every once and awhile he would go with me to church, but instead of enjoying him sitting next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be “The Day”, and when it wasn’t, I would quiz him in the car on the way home, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”

“It was okay,” he’d say. And his thoughts would turn to “What we gonna eat for lunch?”

The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ I would ask myself.

One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period.

That was 33 years ago ladies—and I’m still praying and still loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided no matter how many years, I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.

God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away.

I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right.

Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort.

I will “Never” give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.

I don’t understand why God does what he does, but I will trust God while I wait.

The truth is, I might not ever see my husband walk a church aisle, and surrender his life but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heavens gate. In the meantime, I will live my life as an godly example and leave it all with God and let Him do His work.

Let’s Pray

God help us to realize we have no control in changing our husbands, change comes from You so help us all to leave our sweet husbands in Your hands. In your name I pray Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us one thing that you have done to try and get your husband to accept Christ as his Savior.

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to all of you this week

Love, Beverly

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Winning Him Without Words: Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself!

October 7, 2012 by

 

What can we expect from Chapter 2, you ask?  The answer is short, sweet, and simple: How not to spiritually ambush your spouse!  Okay, maybe not “simple”.  While I read this chapter, all I could think of was how many times I could relate to what Lynn was sharing!!  I had to chuckle at how many of the “ambush attempts” she mentioned, were things I had tried in the past, too!!  haha!

It was SO IMPORTANT to ME that my husband understood just how important salvation was, that I would like a Nazi trying to ambush his every waking moment to get him to give his life to Jesus!  HELLO!! Can you say “Bible-thumper”????  Yes, that’s who I was!   But God…..

Ohhhhh, But God began to show me some things about my walk with Him; and some things about my husband’s walk with Him!

He began to show me what was my responsibility, and what was HIS (God’s) responsibility!  I had to learn to give God control of my husband’s salvation.  I had to learn to trust God!  I had to tell myself over and over again “God’s Got This!”  That is my favorite mantra now, in everything:  “God’s Got This!!  I wonder today just how many times God looked down and said “Good Grief Girlfriend, I’ve Got This!!! Let It Go!!!”

Letting Go was the key!  The key to not only my peace of mind, but to my husband’s salvation.  I had to learn to let go and get out of God’s way, so that He could do what He needed to do … without my interference!!  I was never going to save my husband!  I didn’t have the ability to save my husband….ONLY GOD DID!  I had to get out of God’s way!

I had to stop nagging him about reading his Bible.  I had to stop leaving Christian material lying around everywhere, so he would see it.  I had to stop talking.  I had to start listening!  But most importantly, instead of nagging, I had to start praying!!!  I had to get on my knees every day and pray, asking the Lord not only for my husband’s salvation, but asking God to help me stay out of His way, so He could do what He needed to do in my husband’s life!  Girlfriend you have no idea how many times I had to almost put duct tape on my mouth to shut me up!!!  My husband probably wanted to do that a time or two, as well! haha!! (I can laugh about that today….!!!)

GOD’S

GOT THIS.

So back to Chapter 2.  Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!  Remember, each day you have a certain section to read so you can follow along with our blog posts.  We take a chapter a week, and break it into sections and blog about each section.  That way it gives us a way to really focus on that particular section!  THEN we go back to our Facebook Discussion Group, and talk about that section just a tad bit deeper!  I hope you will join us!  Click HERE if you would like to sign up for this study and join our FB Group!

YOUR READING ASSIGNMENT:

Monday: Oct 8 –

Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself –  Beverly

Tuesday: Oct 9 –

It’s Safe to Relinquish Control –  Jennifer

Wednesday: Oct 10 –

Throw Me a Life Preserver  – Donna

Thursday: Oct 11 –

A Daily Prayer / How Should We Pray – Sarah

Friday: Oct 12 –

Weekly Review / Discovery / Prayer – Martha

Let’s Pray:

Oh Heavenly Father, as we read through this chapter this week, open our eyes Lord to see what You have for us!!  Open our hearts Lord so we are able to receive from You.  Lord, I pray against any hindrances that may stop us from reading this week, or participating in the discussion group.  Lord I know that the message in this book is such a powerful message for those of us who are unequally yoked!

Father, help us to see clearly how we are in Your way, and what we need to do to get out of Your way!  MOVE US out of the way, if You have to, Lord!

Lord, I pray for the unbelieving spouse of each reader that comes to our blog each day, and I ask for a Spirit of righteousness to fall upon them!  Bless them Lord, with a thirst for salvation!  A thirst so powerful that nothing will quench it…but You Jesus!  Repair hearts Lord that have been damaged in the past by “religion” and “legalism” Lord.  Set the captives FREE, Lord, In Your Precious Name, AMEN!

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Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?  Would you like someone to pray with you?

Email our Prayer Ministry at Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com.  Someone from our Prayer Team will contact you shortly!

Enjoy your reading this week!  I’ll see you in the Women’s Group!  🙂

In His Love,

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Saturday’s with Shandy Showers

October 6, 2012 by
6 Weeks to Make Your Home Shine for the Holidays!
Week One by Shandy Showers
 
Forty-seven. Seventy-nine. Eighty-six. Do those numbers mean anything to you? I’ll give you a hint… Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve. New Year’s Eve. Can you believe it?  Have you done anything yet to prepare for the most wonderful time of the year?
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How many of us have had holiday celebrations over the years that have been marred by anxiety because our house wasn’t as clean as we would have liked it to be, or because we waited until the last minute to do everything and exhausted ourselves in the process? I will be the first to raise my hand and say, “ME!” But not this year. Not for me, and not for you if you follow along with us!
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Welcome to “6 Weeks to Make Your Home Shine for the Holidays!” Whether you are a domestic diva or don’t know a duster from a dishcloth, this is for you! Every Saturday for the next six weeks, we will meet right here on the blog to learn how to prepare our homes for the upcoming holidays. (And when we’re through, don’t go anywhere, because we will have a new series on decorating for Christmas and making handmade gifts!) You will check here for your weekly assignments, and are welcome to leave comments and/or ask questions. Maybe you’re not sure how to do something or are wondering if there‘s a better way to do it… just ask 🙂 Then we will head on over to our secret Facebook group, where we can post before & after pictures and have some fun with what we’re accomplishing!
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In my experience, any successful cleaning spree starts with clutter control! So to kick off the first week, we are kicking out some of that clutter! I just moved to a new state this past weekend, and did some major purging the last week of packing. We took nearly 20 bags to Goodwill, made 4 trips to the city dump, put several items out for bulky waste pick up, and gave our neighbor several pieces of furniture and knick-knacks. Even after all that, I bet I can come up with more to banish from my home, so I’m going to do this with you.
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Let’s dive in, ladies! First, take a garbage bag and quickly go through every room in your house. Anything that needs to be thrown away, throw away! Last week’s newspaper, that drawer full of old makeup, junk mail, those shoes that should’ve been retired a year ago, the sweater that’s beyond repair, the bag in your teenager‘s room from last night‘s fast food run… fill up that garbage bag! Now you’re going to take a box or a bag and find 25 more things to either give away or throw away… the pile of sweaters you never wear anymore, the jeans that don’t fit or went out of style in the 80’s, the old toaster you have stashed away as a backup, the old books you’re never going to read again. 25 things. It’s really easy, and your house will start to breathe again.
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I’ve done this before, and because I love a good challenge, I found my first 25 items, then found a bunch more! It feels so good! I encourage you to have your kids do this as well. Maybe start small with them and have them put 5 things in the giveaway box. Or maybe 10. Make it a game and see who can fill up their box the fastest! The only rule: don’t overthink anything. If you have to think about it, it doesn’t mean as much to you as maybe you thought it did.
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We want to see how much you’re clearing out and cleaning up and congratulate you on a job well done, so be sure to take before & after pictures every week! You’ll have the opportunity to share them each Saturday in our facebook group! A clean home is a happy home, and your home is going to be very happy for the holidays!
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Let’s pray:
As we prepare our homes for the holidays, let us remember to do everything enthusiastically, as something done for You, Lord. (Col 3:23-24) May our preparations be done decently and in order (1 Cor 14:40) and let them be an act of service to You and our families, so we are able to welcome the holidays with gladness rather than anxiety, keeping You at the forefront of all our celebrations. Thank you, Father, for these women and for this opportunity to support and encourage each other. Bless our efforts, Lord, and help us make wise decisions so we do not become distracted or discouraged. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Your assignment:
TODAY – Comment below to let us know you’re taking part in this series and let us know the biggest challenge you face in preparing your home for holiday celebrations.
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Today & Mon – Throw Away & Give Away Challenge (see above) Remove those items from your home right away.
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Tues – Gather/Buy/Make Cleaning Supplies, and you’ll need a 3-ring binder (w/ a clear pocket on the front) and a 3-hole punch. You will be using this binder for this series, as well as future series. We’ll have some free printables for you along the way!
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Wed – Front Porch: Shake out welcome mat. Use your outdoor broom to knock down webs, and to sweep the front porch and walk. Wash windows facing the porch, as well as your front door and doorbell. If your siding or trim is dirty, or if you have railing, take a bucket of warm, soapy water, and wash that as well. Clean outside light fixtures. Tidy things up, and put up some fall decorations if you’d like!
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Thurs – Entryway/Foyer: clean out & organize the coat closet. Wipe down closet door. Wipe down walls, trim, and baseboards if dirty or dusty. Wipe down light switch(es). Sweep and mop floor. Clean light fixture.
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Fri – Catch up on anything you haven’t completed, then enjoy your evening! You’ve earned it!
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We’d like to invite you to be part of our online Bible study! Click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of the page to learn more or to register for the Women’s Bible study and be added to our Facebook group!
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If you have not yet accepted Jesus as your Lord & Savior and would like someone to pray with you, email  Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and someone from our Prayer Team will contact you soon.
Blessings,
Shandy

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Shandy lives with her husband, Scott, and daughter, Gabriella, in Kirkland, Illinois. She also has an adult daughter who lives in Wisconsin.

She’s a Titus 2/Proverbs 31 “virtuous woman in progress” and has a passion for homemaking and raising a family. She considers it a huge blessing to be a modern-day archetype of the classic housewife. Though her infertility diagnosis has prevented Shandy and Scott from growing their family, they are not putting God on a shelf, and are believing Him for their miracle baby.

Shandy believes in old-fashioned traditions and family values, and loves the music and movies of the 1940’s… especially the musicals. She’s loves Elvis, contemporary Christian and country music. She enjoys genealogy, knitting, crafting, country road trips, cozy fires, horseback riding, and living history museums. Her favorite season is autumn, and she loves everything about Christmas!

In addition to blogging about homemaking for our women’s ministry, Shandy is the Executive Administrative Assistant to the Founders of Girlfriends Coffee Hour. She has also served as a Sunday School and VBS teacher in her church, and has also been in puppet ministry, choir, and handbell choir throughout the years. She loves to be involved and bloom where God plants her!

She is blown away by what an awesome God we serve, and endeavors to be salt and light in this world so that others may come to know and love Jesus.

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Winning Him Without Words: Jesus with “Skin On” / Weekly Review

October 5, 2012 by

 

The young mother tucked her little boy in bed, turned off the lights, and walked out of his room.  It was then she heard him cry out:  “Mom, turn the lights back on; I’m scared of the dark.”  The mother walked back into his room to reassure him.  “Now, son, don’t be afraid, Jesus is here with you.”  To which he replied:  “I know Jesus is in here with me, but I want somebody with some skin on!”

Can we admit that we all have felt that way?  “Yes, I know you are near Jesus, but, I really want someone to pray and study your word with me, someone to sit beside me in church, and most of all, Jesus, I want to talk to someone about I much I love YOU.   That someone is my husband.  Won’t you please tell him to come into the room with me?  I am scared of being in this dark room alone.”

Thirty eight years have passed since the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior, and my husband still hasn’t shown up in that dark room with me.  But, my goodness how God has blessed me by sending so many Jesus with “Skin On” people!  They brought light into my dark and lonely room!

Allow me to introduce a few of them to you.

  1. Jackie:  Always saved a seat for me in church so I wouldn’t have to sit alone.

  2. Gerry, Beth, Gloria:  Spent hours cleaning their homes for the weekly bible study.  Oh, yes, Beth Moore  taught me much, but it was these ladies who made it possible by opening up their homes to me and all the other ladies.

  3. Sylvia, Irene, Susan:  Prophets that God used to give me a prophetic word at times when I thought I couldn’t take another step.

  4. My Pastor:  Preached sermons that I know he prepared just for me!

  5. Melba, my pastor’s wife:  Gave me opportunities in ministry.  Quite frankly, I had always thought that I couldn’t go into ministry with an unsaved husband. What do I have to offer if the head of my household is not serving the Lord?

I just know that these people will receive a special reward in heaven one day for being obedient to God, and being there for me.

But, I have to confess that when the journey stretches into years of being unequally yoked as it has for me, there is a tendency to grow weary.  As the year 2010 was drawing to a close, I felt like I had reached my limits. “When is this man, my high school sweetheart, father of our two daughters, and grandfather of three going to fall down at the feet of Jesus?”  I felt the lights being turned off in the room again.

And then one day in March, 2011, God showed up with a whole army of Jesus with “Skin On” people.  It happened like this.

I stumbled upon the book, Winning Him Without Words by Lynn and Dineen.  In all my many years of being unequally yoke, I had never read a book about the unequally yoked, nor had I been associated with anyone “like me.”  But, God in his perfect timing introduced me to these two ladies, along with their community of women on their website, Spiritually Unequal Marriage.  And then, He introduced me to you, my friends, at Girlfriends Coffee Hour.

I’m not alone in the dark room anymore. – -I’m hanging out with – – Jesus with “Skin On” people from all over the U.S. and world who are “just like me!”

As for my husband?   “He has made  everything beautiful in its time.” [Ecc. 3:11]

Let’s Pray:  

Father God, I ask you in the name of your son, Jesus, that every lady taking this course be blessed with Jesus with “Skin On” people so that they will not sit in a dark room alone.  We need each other to help us walk out our lives before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:  

Who are your Jesus with Skin On people?  Take time today, not only to thank God for them, but call or send them a note expressing your appreciation for being with you on your journey.  For starters, list them in the comment section.

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And now, as we come to the close of the first chapter of Winning Him Without Words, review this past week:

Monday:  Know That You are not Alone:  Beverly pointed to page 27 in our book that described her feelings of being alone: yearns for her husband to sit with her, feel his arm come around her shoulder, desires to have him look up Bible verses together,  hold her hand after they found it.  But, Beverly made a decision she has stuck with for 33 years.

  • Stopped worrying about her husband, and left him in God’s hands.

  • Kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led her into.

  • Kept asking her hubby to come with her.

  • Took her children with her so they could learn about Jesus.

  • And thanks God that He is sitting with her in that pew, along with  friends who support, embrace, and pray for her.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  The Alone Factor:  Jennifer pointed us to reality:  we are alone by not having a spiritual connection with our husbands, and it hurts.  But, she learned the real truth:

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:  Is it Possible to Thrive in a Mismatched Marriage?  Donna assures us that we can thrive in a mismatched marriage and this is how she learned to do it:

When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage! All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work!

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  Placing Christ On The Throne:  Sarah makes a statement that all of us could probably admit to when she says:  To surrender your power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible.

But, Sarah has made a commitment to start each day with the following prayer no matter how silly she may feel: Jesus, right now as I begin this new day, I surrender my place of authority over my life to You.  I am placing You firmly on the throne of my life.  Teach me to focus on Your desires for living.  I give you my entire life this day.  In Your powerful name Jesus.  Amen

May we do likewise.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email our Prayer Team Leader:  Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com, and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha

 

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Placing Christ on the Throne

October 4, 2012 by

And Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

MATTHEW 28:20

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Placing Christ On The Throne by Sarah Boyer

To surrender you power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible. But by relinquishing all the power to Jesus and letting him fill your heart, mind and soul, you will experience the greatest feeling of peace. I know; I’ve done it.

I am a control freak and a worrier. If I don’t have a perfectly laid out plan for everything in my life, I feel out of control, unorganized and frazzled. I am not at rest until I have that plan! This is something Jesus has been tugging at me to fix. I am a work in progress, but this is how I am evolving:

I used to sit and make MY plan of how I think things should go.

My plan would fail and I’d become anxious, angry and uptight, snipping and yelling at everyone in my path.

Then I’d start all over again with a new plan.

Big Fat Fail! It never occurred to me to ask Jesus what His plan was for me! I always thought that Jesus didn’t care about my little day-to-day affairs. He only cared about the big stuff, where I should go to college, whom I should marry, live etc.

I’ve recently learned that Jesus wants to guide your every move, from the little things such as what you eat all the way to the big stuff such as how to speak with your non-believing spouse. It’s sort of like how you help your children. You help them make the simple choices in hopes that when the big decisions come, they will come to you for guidance. Jesus wants to do the same. He wants to guide you through it all. This brings to mind Proverbs 16:9: The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

So this is my new plan!  

I am going to start each day with this prayer from now on!

It is suggested in our study today, that you get out of bed and fall to your knees when you say this prayer. At first when I started doing this, I felt silly. Not because my husband would see me and judge me because he leaves for work 3 hours before I even get up. But because I felt foolish. Isn’t that silly? No one around but me and Jesus and I felt silly. But I made myself do it and have been doing it for the past few days and the foolish feeling is wearing off and the peace and comfort of surrendering to Jesus is taking over. I’ll trade that for foolishness any day! Besides, what better way to start your day then arming yourself with the power of Jesus inside you?

I am now better prepared to handle anything that comes along throughout the day because all I have to do is recall our simple prayer, surrender my authority of the situation and give it to Jesus to handle. And He always does!

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, I pray that you can help us all to surrender our authority over to you. Remind us there is no problem big or small for you to handle for us. Please fill our heart, mind and soul with your leadership so that the troubling, painful and fearful circumstances of our lives lose their power. We can do all things through you. In Jesus name, amen.

Your Assignment:

Your assignment today is to write out a prayer that you will begin praying each day, just after you get up. A prayer that gives Jesus control of your day. A prayer that asks Him to direct your day, so you can stay on task for the things that He wants of you. Post this prayer in the comment section below, so we can be praying with you, as well.

If you are interested in joining us in our Women’s Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups!

Godspeed!

Sarah

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Winning Him Without Words: Is it possible to thrive?

October 3, 2012 by
Is it possible to thrive in a mismatched marriage?
 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”
Hebrews 13:5
Like Lynn, one of our authors, I too remember a time in my marriage where I was on my “throne”. I married this man, shouldn’t he meet my every need?
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Shouldn’t he greet me in the morning, with no morning breath, and bring me breakfast , in bed cooked just the way I like it? bring me my morning coffee as he goes out the door to work? And shouldn’t he be available to help me with the kids or housework or laundry? After all wasn’t he my Husband, partner, my life-mate? Aren’t we supposed to be doing this together? I know that sounds absurd, but I really did think that!
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Thinking only of myself and judging him from my “throne”- it’s a lonely and sometimes angry place to be. My husband is a believer, but I think whether you are both believers or not, As we go through this life together we are not always on the same page, Spiritually speaking. The highs and lows of our life and walk with God come sometimes at different times for us. Until I realized that I was actually trying to push him to where I was, then God would speak to me and remind me that I was only responsible for my walk with Him. God would take care of my husband and his choices.
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WOW! What freedom I felt then! I could love my husband, have fun with him, live life and raise our children, and not worry about where he was with God. The unreal expectations I had for my husband were just that- unreal! My husband will never fulfill all my needs, he can’t!  But God can, if I let Him.
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I can rest and know God will take care of all of it  My husband as well as myself. When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage!
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When we yield our marriage to the Lord of life-He takes it and molds it. He works together and sometimes individually on each of us to make our union the best it can be. All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work! He will never leave me or forsake me. Like Lynn says: recognize Jesus is with you always and is intimately involved in our marriage and that is life changing!
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 Let’s pray:
God we want to get off our “throne” and hand it over to you. Help us to love our husbands no matter where they are with You. I pray we can yield our marriage to You and rest assured You will take good care of it because You WANT our marriage to be successful. Be the Lord of our life and marriage I pray in Jesus name-amen
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Your assignment:
I sometimes struggle, because I am a control freak, with letting my husband make decisions for our family so I pray daily that I will leave him and the decisions he has to make to God. If you have the same “throne” problem I do tell us some of them and  ways you can get off the throne and hand your scepter t0 God.
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If you would like to join our Women’s Online Bible Study & Facebook Discussion Group, click on the “Sign-Up Form” button above, at the top of our page, and complete the sign-up form.  We’ll be glad to place you upon your request!!
God’s Blessings On Your Day,
Donna!
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Winning Him Without Words: “The Alone Factor”

October 2, 2012 by

 

We can depend on the Lord to show us where we are today in our marriage and where He wants us to be in the future. (Lynn Donovan, pg. 27)

My husband is not a believer. Although he supports me, he does not share my faith. I have come to accept his decision and respect his choice; however, there will always be a part of my life that I feel I cannot share with him.

And it hurts.

My belief in God began at a very young age. My relationship with Him began only two years ago; four years into my marriage. It was like a light bulb clicked on and life finally made sense to me. My friend invited me to a women’s retreat with her church. I accepted. And life has never been the same. But, my zeal for God seems to not make sense to my husband. At first, I had to hide my faith. I hid my Bible. When I was going to a Bible Study, I would tell him I was going to meet with some new friends from church. When we got in the car to go somewhere, I immediately changed the Christian radio station to the more mainstream station he prefers.

I had no idea how to act. I felt isolated and alone. There was this newfound blossoming of faith within me, but I could not share it with the one person who is closest to me. I felt like I was living a double life.

In fact, I still am.

I am still trying to figure out how to live this spiritually mismatched life. Although I have come a long way (I can now openly read my Bible in front of my husband and talk about my church activities without feeling uncomfortable), I still flounder. God still has much to teach me about honoring Him despite my circumstances.

“It matters not how we came to be in our crazy, mixed-up and unexpected marriage situation. What matters is that God desires that we honor our marriage commitment and fulfill our marriage vows through His power and His strength. We can’t do it on our own.” (Lynn, pg. 28)

Lynn’s message hit me at my core. God wants our marriages to be beautiful and thriving. He desires us to honor our commitment and fulfill our vows. And the only way we can do it is through HIS POWER and HIS STRENGTH.

We cannot do it on our own.

Did you catch that?

We cannot do it on our own.

And why would we want to?

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

***

Let’s Pray: Lord, help us to see and to understand that we truly are not alone in our mismatched marriages and that you are right there, walking side-by-side with us through every step. Show us how to release the pain that binds us and causes anguish in our spirit for our unsaved spouse. Provide us with your power and your strength to get through each day and teach us to fix our eyes solely on You, the One responsible for our husband’s salvation. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment: Leave a comment below telling us one thing you can do for your spouse today to honor God and your marriage.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and fill out the form at the bottom of the page (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to you,

Jennifer

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Winning Him Without Words: “Know that You’re Not Alone”

October 1, 2012 by

 

When I realized I was the first blogger for this new study I have to admit I was very nervous, because this first chapter is one that hits hard on my heart.

I am one of those ladies who walks into my church every week without my hubby by my side.  Many years ago I was just like how this chapter described her entrance into church.

I looked for the closest seat to the back, so I could get in quick and out faster. I tried to make sure I was just a few minutes from service beginning before I walked in then I wouldn’t have very many people looking at me or wondering if others were following behind me.   It would allow me to slip in quick, slide in the pew and look down quickly at my bulletin, like I had been sitting there all the time.

When my husband and I were first married he attended church with me, but about 1-1/2 yrs.  later he slowly stopped going with me at all, and that is when the loneliness began to set in.

Back then I would ask him every Sunday if he would go with me and he kept saying “No”…I would sit in church week after week watching all the couples come in, slide into a pew, and then that is when it hit me…..that husband’s arm would come around his sweet wife’s shoulder and I would be so jealous that I wanted to move to another pew, but that didn’t help because there was just another couple doing the same on another pew.

They just had the “look” that I so wanted.  All these couples made me want to quit going to church all together….until one day God showed me:

“why are you looking at others, when you should be focused on me”…..WOW did He ever get my attention!

Here I was treating this like a ball game or a movie, when I should’ve been focusing my attention on what God was trying to teach me from His Word for my life, not the fact that I was sitting alone in church without my mate.

Pg. 26 of our study described my feelings exactly:

  • I yearned for my husband to be there to sit with me
  • I dreamed of feeling his arm come around my shoulder
  • I desired to have him look up a Bible verse together, then him holding my hand after we found it

God showed me years later that my responsibility in my marriage is my relationship with Christ, and that I don’t need to worry about my husband’s, that God will take care of that.

So ladies, that is what I did:

  • I kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led me to
  • I kept asking my hubby to come with me
  • I took our children with me so they could learn about Jesus

I have continued for 33 years serving Christ, yet serving alone (without my mate with me).

Thankfully God is sitting with me in that pew and friends are close by and support me, embrace me, and pray for me.

And ladies I will continue to:

  • Keep going to church and serve God where HE wants me
  • Keep asking my hubby to go with me
  • I will keep praying and asking God to open his heart
  • I will continue to look for that arm around my shoulder

 

Let’s pray:

God I pray that any of us who go alone to church without our spouse will stay encouraged, will focus on You and let You do the leading in our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

1. For those who attend church alone please share with us what God showed you that has helped you get through the feeling of loneliness at church without your mate.

2. For those of you that have had your mate with you the whole time in your marriage please give others encouraging words to help us get thru each week sitting in that pew alone.

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For those who may be reading this blog and are interested in joining this Bible study we would love to invite you to join us! The Sign-Up button is located at the top of our website page, in the Menu Bar section. Click on that button and follow the directions. It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!”

Blessings,

Bev

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