November 25, 2024

Life’s Healing Choices – Week 1 – Make the Choice

January 10, 2013 by

 

Well, we’ve almost made it through the first week.  How are you holding up?  If anything like me, you’ve had moments of denial, shaking your head, stammering for words, and just sheer amazement (& maybe even a little bewilderment) at what we’ve read and learned.

What is the first principle?  Realize that I am not God.

Should be easy, right?  Anyone think they “should” be able to hold it all together as wife, mother, employee, church-goer, volunteer, etc?  We should be able to do everything, at once without a break or help, right?  Super Mom!  Wonder Woman! Well, not if you learn God’s plan for your life.  He expects us to need Him, and to accept His guidance in our lives.  He knows we can’t do everything, and especially not by our own power.

John Baker provides three steps for us at the end of each chapter: Pray About It, Write About It, and Share About It.  So let’s get started!

PRAY –

Ask God to give you courage to admit your weaknesses, your struggle to control the world around you, and your inability to hold it all together.  There is nothing “weak” about admitting you cannot do it yourself.  God knew that we couldn’t do it without Him.

Ask for His power to fill your life and provide the strength you need to make changes in your life.  Ask for His peace when you are fearful, His comfort when you are unable to rest.  Matt 11:28-29

If you can’t find the right words, remember … there are no right words.  There is no special incantation to mutter that will make it to God.  At times you may not have the words to speak, and that’s when we are reassured that He already knows, and the Holy Spirit will intervene on our behalf. (Romans 8:26)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.(NLT)

 

Matthew 11: 28-29

 

 Above all remember that He will hear our cries,

He will answer us, and He will deliver us (Ps 34:4)

I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. 

He freed me from all my fears. (NLT)

WRITE –

Throughout this journey, you will want to take the time to write your thoughts to the questions posed in our book.  Often, the process of writing will help to clear our thoughts, help us see truths more clearly, and offer insight on what God is saying to us.  Find a notebook or journal to use for your thoughts.  Keep it in a safe place, and remember it is your private journal.  While there will be times of sharing, we will be guided on when to share, what we’ll share, and with whom.

When I first thought of keeping my journal “safe”, I thought about keeping secrets … are we really called to keep secrets from our spouse?  Then I realized, it’s not about keeping secrets but learning how to manage & control emotions.  I can easily spout off from the emotional core of my being … with tears, and irrational thoughts.  We call this “emotional vomiting” because it just spews forth without purpose or consideration.  I view the journal as a way to work through this sickness and learn how to express my thoughts, emotions, and experiences with clarity, purpose, and control so that I don’t put off another person.  As I tell my kids, “just because it pops into your head, it doesn’t have to come out of your mouth. “

Baker gives us five writing guidelines on page 24 to start the process:

  • What people, places or things do you have the power to control?
  • What people, places or things have you been attempting to control?
  • Describe how you try to control your image, other people, your problems, your pain?
  • Write how fear, frustration, fatigue and failures of trying to be the “General Manager of the universe” has affected your relationship with God & others.
  • What specific hurt, hang-up or habit have you been denying?

SHARE –

Throughout this study, we will encourage participants to share with someone they can be honest and totally open with.  I would strongly advise that you make this someone of the same sex because the information we work through may stir up emotions and experiences that are not appropriate with a member of the opposite sex.  Even if you think your husband, boyfriend, or platonic guy-friend is this person, you may want to find someone else to talk to first …men have a tendency to want to fix things for us, to protect us, and make all things right in our world.  This is not the role for our sharing-partner.  And, we don’t want to encourage a level of intimacy with someone outside of marriage that is not appropriate for women seeking God’s will in their lives.This is not to say you cannot (or should not) share with your spouse.  Just realize that sometimes a person outside of the immediate circle may have different insight & suggestions for you.

This group is not a counseling session, nor an affiliate of the Celebrate Recovery program.  At times, it may be necessary for you to seek professional counseling with a trusted pastor or licensed therapist.  We are here to facilitate a book study and encourage learning & personal growth through Bible study.  In Titus we are encouraged to support each other, learn from each other, and encourage one another as women.

After you’ve taken the time to reflect and write your answers to these questions, we welcome your comments below, or visit our Facebook Group for additional discussion.  If you are not currently a member of our Facebook Group, you can click HERE to sign up for this online Bible study, and you will be added to this group.

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Dear Lord, thank You for the journey You have given to each of us.  We realized that You alone are God, the only one with the power to bring change in our lives.  We ask that You shower us with Your grace, open our eyes to the truths of our lives, calm the fears as we take different paths than the ones we’ve always walked, and remind us daily that we are not alone in this process.  You are ever-present, ever-loving, ever faithful.  Through Your power, we can do all things.  Amen. 

If you are interested in joining us for this online Bible study, and would like to join our secret Facebook group, click HERE to sign-up!  Once we receive your registration, we will email you further details.

If you would like to send a personal comment to Amy in regards to this blog, please email her at:  Amy@girlfriendscoffeehour.com.

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

December 14, 2012 by

 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  (Proverbs 22:6)

One Sunday morning many years ago, I stood staring out my kitchen window, contemplating on not going to church any longer with “just me and my two little girls.”

Three months had passed since we had moved from Atlanta to New Orleans. My husband had been offered a job opportunity he felt he couldn’t afford to turn down.  During the process of our lengthy talks about taking the job, I said to him:  “I’ll go with you anywhere you feel we need to go; it is just so hard for me to move with two little girls to a strange city and have to take them to church by myself.”

To which he replied, “I promise you if you will make this move with me, I will go to church with you and the girls.”  And with that hope, we made the move.

Oh yes, he went the first Sunday to help me find the church, and that was the end of that.  As a young mother I felt so betrayed.

So, on this Sunday morning as I was about to give this church-going up for good, I heard little children in my neighborhood playing out in the street.  It was then I prayed:  “Lord, if he never goes to church with me, I commit to you this morning that I will go alone if I have to; I can’t bear the thought of my children playing on the streets on Sunday morning and not in church.”

And with that, the three of us began our journey, and today both girls and their husbands hold ministry roles in their church and are raising their little ones for Jesus.

I realize it doesn’t always happen this way.  When children become of age, they make their own choices and sometimes stray from their Christian up-bringing. But, I would encourage every mother to make the effort to teach their kids about Jesus and take them to church, even if it she has to do it alone.  It has its rewards—I am blessed. 

On a side note, my husband gloats over his children and grandchildren.  He has been the best husband and father any man could be with the exception of that “missing link of having Jesus in his heart.”  But, as Lynn and Dineen point out:  “God makes everything beautiful in His time.”

As we come to the close of our study in Winning Him Without Words, let me say it has been a pleasure reviewing Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah’s blogs for you, our readers, each week.  I know they have inspired you as much as they have me.  Let’s take one final look at what they had to say this week on:  What About the Kids. 

 

Weekly Review

 

Monday:  Where to Start?  Before answering that question, Beverly talks about the thoughts most women have in a spiritually unequally yoked marriage, as Beverly was.

  • Am I doing things right
  • Am I teaching them the truth
  • Will they accept Jesus as Savior one day
  • Will they learn to be a prayer warrior
  • Will they love Jesus
  • Will they wake each morning with a desire to live every moment for Him
  • Will they seek a godly mate for their life
  • Will they love God’s Word and want to spend time getting to know Him

As most mothers, Beverly had thoughts on whether her children would continue living out their Christian foundation after her children were grown and left home.

But, even with these consuming thoughts, Beverly agrees with the answer in our book on page 170 of Where to Start:   “Help our love for Jesus be so contagious it can’t help but rub off on our loved ones and when our kids see us loving God in this way, they will love Him too!”

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Tuesday:  Teachable Moments:  Jennifer brought us to the reality of three main points we must consider if we are to have teachable moments with the children God has placed in our lives.

  1. There are limited moments in our daily lives. We only have 1,440 minutes every single day.
  2. Be ready for these moments.
  3. Create those moments if they are not spontaneously popping up on their own.

Jennifer challenged us to be alert to the teachable moments that will come into your life be it your own children, grandchildren, nieces/ nephews, cousins, etc. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes and your heart to these moments. Seek Him for how to respond; in all situations.  Show love and grace.

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Wednesday:  Start When They are Young:  Donna certainly believes in starting young in teaching and training children for the Lord as she did with her own children.

For starters, she:

  • Prayed before they were conceived.
  • prayed for them during pregnancy.
  •  prayed after they were born that she’d have wisdom to know them like God did and know how to raise them for His purposes.

After her children were born she:

  • taught them to pray at early age
  • no TV was allowed; only Christian radio
  • videos taught God’s word in song
  • read children’s book on their Bible heroes
  • prayed with them for healing of cuts and bruises

Donna knew she was to start out showing them Jesus as soon as they were born.  In addition she knew that her own faith should be lived out in every aspect of her life, every day before her kids.

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Thursday:  As They Grow:  Sarah points to us as parents the spiritual influence, positive or negative, we have on our children as they grow.

Because of some issues she and her believing husband had in choosing a church home, they did not attend church for a year. Her main concern during this time was how this was affecting her girls, ages 11 and 13.

I personally found the prayer Sarah offered at the end of her blog should be the prayer of all of us who desire to be a Godly influence on children as they grow.  Dear Lord, we want to make sure they continue to want to worship You, learn more about You and grow closer to You every day. This is a crazy world we live in, with many negative outside influences that are hard to keep away from our children. Help us in this effort Lord, to keep their eyes focused on You.

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Let’s Pray:   Father God, you have given us a precious gift – -children.  Help us all as parents, grandparents, children church leaders, aunts, uncles – -not let a teachable moment pass us by.  Give us wisdom to guide the children you have placed in our lives.  Above all, may these little ones love you with all their hearts, and live their lives according to what you have created them to be.

Your assignment:  Tell a child today that you love them.

If you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,
Martha

*****We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!*****

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click the link HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

*****

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

*****

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Winning Him Without Words: As They Grow

December 13, 2012 by

I am the mom of two girls, 11 and 13. Since my husband and I are both believers, I never had worried about us being good models for them, until we had trouble in our church.

Because of some issues we had, we did not attend church for a year. My main concern during this time was how this was affecting my girls. I didn’t want them to think not going to church was okay. I also didn’t want them to think changing your religion was something that should be done on a whim or taken lightly.

We had many family discussions about our faith during this time. My husband and I had private conversations about what having our daughters confirmed in a certain religion meant to us. Was it a necessity; was it okay to wait until they were older? All the while we were visiting other churches to possibly join and we just were not satisfied with our options. But I didn’t want to just “go” somewhere because I was worried about the confirmation issue. I wanted to find a church that would develop a love for Jesus in their hearts as well as teach them the importance of God’s word.

To make a long story short, we did find a new church home and it’s one our whole family is very comfortable in, even though it is not the type of church my husband and I were brought up in. Our new church home has a refreshing approach to the scriptures. Church is now something we all look forward to. My 11 year old is the most excited and has benefited the most from our change. This makes my heart so happy because I was very worried that entire year of being without a church that our actions were going to send them the wrong message.  They are at such a hard age. These pre-teen and teen years are so impressionable. But not so much by mom and dad anymore, instead they are more apt to want to do what their peers are doing. Thankfully my girl’s friends are all church going people; some attend our new church, which probably helped them to get on board. But I want you all to know that in my own way, I understand the worry you have over your children’s faith.

There was a moment during that year where we didn’t have a church that I worried my husband was not going to approve of any of the churches in our small town. He had kept finding something wrong with each of them. Then where would we be? When you are a believer, you NEED a church. Your family needs a church. It is VERY important for many reasons, and I worried about them all! But I did learn a few things during that year!

#1 was not to settle on somewhere just to be in a church.

#2 was do not push the subject with my husband! I really liked one church and my husband did not. If I would’ve pushed my opinions on him to try and make him “come to my side”, we would’ve ended up being miserable in that church too.

And finally, #3, continue to pray. I prayed every night that we would find a church for our entire family, and in God’s perfect timing, we found one.

It took an entire year and 2 visits to our new church, but we finally found our home, and we are all so happy there. It was the best reward for all of my praying and waiting.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, as our children grow, we want to make sure they continue to want to worship You, learn more about You and grow closer to You every day. This is a crazy world we live in, with many negative outside influences that are hard to keep away from our children. Help us in this effort Lord, to keep their eyes focused on You. Help these women in unequally yoked marriages. Please let their children want to follow their lead and keep attending church. Hopefully they can be an example of how precious Your love is to their unbelieving father. In your precious son’s name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

As we end this study, I’d like to hear how God has spoken to your heart. Has anything changed in your marriage? Have you been able to minister to anyone else who is an unbeliever, or possibly someone in the same situation as you? Please share your stories below! I can’t wait to hear them!

Thank you for reading my silly rambles week after week! This is my final blog for GCH. 🙁 It has certainly been an honor to write posts on Winning Him Without Words! And I’m so grateful to have made many great, lifelong friends while doing it! God bless you all!

Sarah

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

**********

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Winning Him Without Words: What About the Kids? Where to start?

December 10, 2012 by

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not turn from it.  

Proverbs 22:6

 

As we wind down this study we come to last section of this wonderful book and that is “What about our kids” in this journey of our spiritually mismatched marriage.

(what do we do? Where do we start?)

My kids were not the ones who went to church every week with two parents leading them into the church building, or praying with them, or reading the Bible with them, nope it was just me.   Now I am not complaining mind you, but it would have been “wonderful” for both of us to do the leading.

When I had children I was constantly thinking how in the world am I going to raise them in a godly home when the home was not a complete godly unit…and then I remembered how my granddaddy used to teach me saying “Beverly, there is nothing you can do about others, you must just work on yourself, love Jesus yourself, and as He teaches you then you teach them.”

I listened to him and just like I did the 9 years of my marriage before having children I did the same after the children were born……I went to church and took my children with me so they could learn about my Jesus, and learn about WHO will be and make the difference in their life as they grow up.

Even though I took them to church I constantly thought:

  • Am I doing things right
  • Am I teaching them the truth
  • Will they accept Jesus as Savior one day
  • Will they learn to be a prayer warrior
  • Will they love Jesus
  • Will they wake each morning with a desire to live every moment for Him
  • Will they seek a godly mate for their life
  • Will they love God’s Word and want to spend time getting to know Him

My children were learning about God and getting to know Him…both accepted Christ as Savior and then the first big day came when my daughter left for college and then all those same thoughts began creeping back in my head…..except a few different ones…now my thoughts were:

  • Will she remember what she learned growing up
  • Will she stick to the truth in this world of peer pressure
  • Will she not give in to the idea of dating just anyone but continue her commitment to seeking God for her life mate
  • Will she still remain in God’s Word

Oh so many thoughts were swirling around in my head and I could not seem to get enough of wanting to know that she was not straying from the path she was taught.

Then I got the call…the phone call….Mamma I met this guy that I really like….go to the school BCM website and look at his picture….he is so cute Mamma….and I told her hmmmm….let me take a look and so I did…..and my first thought was REALLY?  HIM?  (you know we all do that, those initial judgmental thoughts just based on someone’s looks)……and let me say right now……

 MY JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS WERE WRONG

 This was the man God set aside for my girl….as her life mate….at that time he was the campus missionary at the college she attended and 3 years later they were engaged/married,  now he is the youth pastor at the church they attend…..and oh how God is moving in their life…..and just think if I had done my normal mamma meddling I would’ve been messing up God’s plan for her life.

So here we are, one child trained and on the path God set for her…..but still one more at home and still my same thoughts creeping in now for this one…

In his high school years my son began showing the same aspects as my husband (not wanting to go to church, I had to “make him go”)  and then the day came when he went off to college…..and here I go with my thoughts again…..and now these thoughts were way different from when my daughter left home….because now that he was in the thought process of “not wanting to go to church”  I knew that the peer pressure of the world would start sinking in heavy on him…..and yes that is where he is now…..NOT GOING….NOT SERVING….not following that path he had been taught as a child…..

 BUT….

 I have the wonderful promise of Proverbs 22:6 that I cling to that He will turn to it……and as he comes home for visits/holidays he sees me continuing to love and serve Jesus, he sees me living out what I taught him all the young years of his life.  He has watched me in times spent in study/devotion…..this has and is the silent witness to my son. He has heard me lifting him up in prayer to God–this is the audible witness to my son.

I await that day to see his faith has not wavered, that he remembers the training he received growing up and that he will make the Lord “priority” in his life.  And I await to see/hear when he says “yes Lord I am here ready to serve” I have not given up….

Oh, What a day that will be!

 So to answer the question of this lesson today; Where to start?   Here’s the answer from Pg. 170 of our study. Help our love for Jesus be so contagious; it can’t help but rub off on our loved ones and when our kids see us loving God in this way, they will love Him too!

 

Let’s Pray:   God I thank you for each lady that has been a part of this study and I pray that your love will seep out through our daily life in subtle effective ways that will influence our children, in your name I pray. Amen!

Your assignment:  Share any thoughts that God brought to your mind as you studied today’s lesson about our kids?

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Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this new Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words: What About the Kids? (Weekly Reading Assignment)

December 9, 2012 by

“Your calling is simply to love this man in your life and love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Leave the rest to God.” (pg. 166)

Well, ladies, we have officially read and studied through all 10 keys to thriving in a spiritually mismatched marriage! Let’s do a quick review, shall we?

Key #1: Know that You’re Not Alone!

Key #2: Don’t Save Your Husband – Save Yourself

Kay #3: Stay Connected

Key #4: Know the Essentials of Love: Hope, Joy, Peace and Trust (Oh, Yeah, and Respect)

Key #5: Believe Your Marriage is Blessed

Key #6: Trade Perfection for Authenticity

Key #7: Pick and Choose Your Battles

Key #8: Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons of Marriage

Key #9: Keep Your Armor On – You’re at War!

Key #10: Learn When to Pray the Most Dangerous Prayer

I don’t know about you, but I have learned SO much with this study. This book is definitely one I will look back to again and again! I encourage you to read the conclusion today and then dig in to our final week starting tomorrow. I can’t believe it is almost over!

*****

The last week of our study, we are going to talk about the kids. What do you do in a spiritually mismatched home when you have children present? This has the potential to be a very touchy area in a marriage. This section of our book can be found in APPENDIX 1.

Here is our Reading Assignment for the week:

Dec 10 – Prov 22:6 – What About the Kids / Where to Start – Beverly

Dec 11 – Teachable Moments – Jennifer

Dec 12 – Start When They Are Young – Donna

Dec 13 – As They Grow – Sarah

Dec 14 – Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray: Father God, as we go into our last week of this study, I pray that  you will open our hearts and minds to what you have for each one of us. For those of us with children or those of us blessed to have nieces and nephews or other children in our lives, Lord, we ask that you show us how to be a positive spiritual influence in their lives. I pray that you touch each child represented by every woman participating in this study and bless them as they grow into the men and women you created them to be. Help us to guide them and teach them in Your ways, Father. In Jesus precious and holy name, I pray, Amen!

*****

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study

“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan
Begins January 6, 2013.

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

December 7, 2012 by

 

GCH_Esther14_4


“Who is to say you have not been brought into the kingdom for such a time as this.”
(Esther 4:14)

This week, we are brought to some soul searching questions we must answer if we choose to be a part of God’s plan in helping our husband find his way to Christ.

The chapter begins with the role John the Baptist played in the life of Christ.  John was chosen to prepare the way of Christ, and not be one of the elite group of Twelve Disciples who would walk side by side Him during his ministry on earth.

As I read the role John the Baptist played, my mind raced back to a time when I felt I was being placed in a role for a bigger picture to unfold in my marriage.  Quite honestly, I didn’t want to assume that role.  But, one day Esther 4:14 caught my attention: “Who is to say you have not been brought into the kingdom for such a time as this.”

I raced to my computer and composed a poem, recalling people and, yes, even animals, in the Bible who were pre-positioned for an important role in the history of all mankind.

Who is to Say?

(Martha Bush – -November 10, 2005)


Esther, a Jewish slave, became the wife of a pagan King in the land,
Discovered that Haman wanted all the Jews destroyed by the King’s command.
But, Esther had favor with The King and Haman’s plot went amiss,
Who is to say that a slave girl wasn’t brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this?

Think of Rahab, who was called a harlot by name,
Heard about God drying up the Red Sea and bringing the Egyptians to shame.
So, she hid the Israelite spies and every wall of Jericho fell without a miss,
Who is to say that a harlot wasn’t brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this?

And then there is the donkey that stopped Balaam in his tracks,
From going the wrong way less the Israelites be cursed and attacked.
Now we might scoff at the idea of God using a donkey & say: “that idea I will dismiss,”
Who is to say that the donkey wasn’t brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this?

Let’s never forget Mary, a young virgin in her day,
Received a visit from an angel who had powerful words to say.
“You shall bring forth a son to save the world by shedding blood of His.”
Indeed, a virgin was brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this!

But wait, there were others involved in the nativity scene,
Shepherds, wise men, angels, all around the stable they leaned.
Quite unnoticed was Anna who proclaimed the redemption message in their midst,
Who is to say that an unknown woman wasn’t brought into the kingdom for such a time as this?

Now each of these people probably questioned their position from the start,
Why, even Mary pondered these things in her heart.
No doubt they even found discomfort in doing what they had been asked to do,
For example the donkey, “I’m sure he didn’t like being kicked by Balaam, would you?”

But, the Bible shows how God uses slaves, harlots, virgins, and even donkeys too,
To fulfill the plan and purpose they were created to do.
And so if I should be pre-positioned by God in a position that I would rather dismiss,
Who is to say that I, an ordinary housewife, wasn’t brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this?

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Let’s review Sarah, Jennifer, and Donna’s points on how God prepares us, an ordinary housewife, in helping our husband find his way to Christ.  

Weekly Review

Monday:  Sarah – John the Baptist – -Sarah reviews Dineen thoughts on John The Baptist’s role and wonders if he ever felt short changed because he wasn’t chosen to be part of the Twelve men who walked with Jesus daily?  If John compared himself with the other twelve, certainly he knew he was just as capable to spread Christ’s word as they were.

Sarah confessed to comparing herself to others from junior high into her adult life. But, Sarah has discovered that: “I can be ME, Sarah Jane Boyer. And that is a great thing to be because He created ME and He has me on the path He predestined for me.

Sarah has moved herself from 2nd best into the #1 spot:  “I don’t need to compare myself to others because there is no comparison.  We are all #1 to God and all for different reasons.”  Like John The Baptist, I am content to fulfill the role God has chosen for me and I will do it with grace and honor to Him.”

May we do likewise.

Tuesday: Jennifer-Motivated By Agape Love / Crossing a Threshold

Jennifer points to a place of preparation for our role in helping our husband find his way to Christ – –Agape Love.

Agape Love is:

  • a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional form of love.
  • the love that Christ has for each one of us.
  • is based upon a decision, not a feeling

When you live out agape love, you choose to love, despite the fact you have been hurt; overlook the ways your spouse has slighted you; forgive your spouse for the way he has hurt you.

Pointed questions Jennifer ask us:

  1. Can you sacrifice your own needs, wants, and desires and truly love your husband with an agape form of love that is not based on anything other than choosing to love him like Christ loves you?
  1. Are you ready to cross the threshold and say:  “Lord, do whatever it takes to bring my husband to Christ?”
  1. What are you willing to risk for your unbelieving husband to know Jesus?

May we prayerfully consider these questions.

Wednesday: Donna – Prepared by God / Unanswered Prayers – -Donna brings out another way God prepares us for our role in bringing our husband to Christ:  TRIALS.  She points to the fact that Jesus learned obedience and submission from His sufferings.

Some of the trials we might face:

  1. Perhaps God has asked you to stay the course in your marriage through very tough circumstances.
  2. Maybe He’s asked you to show love to a man who acts unlovable
  3. Maybe you don’t feel loved by him

Donna agrees with Dineen who wrote:  “In our trials, we can look to Jesus and see the pattern of preparation, and perhaps therein lies our joy-in knowing that the Father loves us as much as He loves His Son and is preparing us for the destiny He has planned for each of us, and for our husbands.”

Thursday:  Sarah – -The Perpetual State of Waiting – -Sarah brings us to another way God prepares us for helping bring our husband to Christ: Waiting.

Why Does God Make Us Wait?

  1. The Testing Time – – Involves a good attitude
  2. The Right time – – Doing things on our own time, causes setbacks and frustration. Waiting patiently for God; all things will fall into place and run smoothly.
  3. Motivation – – God also wants to make sure our heart is right. He wants to be certain that you don’t misuse your blessings.

Sarah concludes with:

  • He is waiting on you. YES! God waits for you too!
  • He waits for you to show Him you can be patient.
  • He waits for you to show Him you will rely on Him for help when there are obstacles in your path.
  • He waits for your heart to be right.

So you see, it’s not just us that are doing all the waiting. He waits too.

 

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught about the role we play in helping our husband find his way to Christ.  May we not compare ourselves with others, live in agape love, and be willing to wait for your perfect timing.    In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Your assignment: What do you need to do to be better prepared to help bring your husband to Christ?
_______________

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,
Martha

*****

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study
“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan
Begins January 6, 2013.
To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words: The Perpetual State of Waiting

December 6, 2012 by

I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God.

Psalm 38:15

Waiting is hard to do when we’ve become accustomed to instant access to just about anything we want or need. So when we are waiting in line, waiting to speak to a human when calling customer service, waiting for good news, or bad…waiting on God, we become frustrated. Because when we send a prayer request to God it’s not like sending an email or text where we can expect an answer within minutes, or even within the day. God answers prayers in His own perfect timing.  Rarely that answer will come instantly, but most of the time we will be in that perpetual state of waiting for a while.

But Why Does God Make Us Wait?

THE TEST. In my own personal experience God likes to run me through a few tests before blessing me with an answered prayer. If I am praying for something like a bigger house, He wants to make sure I can take good care of my current home first. If I am praying for a job with more responsibility, God will make sure I handle the stress of my current job before he promotes me onto something that will likely be more stressful. If I can wait for my prayers to be answered with a good attitude and prove to God that I can handle what I am asking for, I can be sure that He will answer my prayer.

THE RIGHT TIME. You may think the timing is perfect to move, to get a different job, to have another child, but is it right in God’s time? God will sometimes make you wait for answers to certain prayers because it’s just not the right time yet. He, and only He, knows the right time for you to receive your blessings. When we do things on our own time, we’ll often be hit with setbacks and tremendous frustration.  When we wait patiently for God, all things will fall into place and run smoothly.

MOTIVATION. God also wants to make sure your heart is right. What I mean by this is God would love to give you all your heart’s desire, but He also wants to be certain that you don’t misuse your blessings. If your intent of praying for more money is only so you can feel superior above others, that would be a misuse of a blessing. Praying for money to support your family or to help your community is the right motivation for a prayer of prosperity.

These are just a few reasons God puts us in that perpetual state of waiting, but I think they give you a good understanding of why God doesn’t send the answers to your prayers instantaneously.  He is waiting on you. YES! God waits for you too! He waits for you to show Him you can be patient; He waits for you to show Him you will rely on Him for help when there are obstacles in your path, He waits for your heart to be right. So you see, it’s not just us that are doing all the waiting. He waits too.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, we find it so hard to wait, but we do understand that everything has to be done in your perfect timing. Help us to be patient, Lord. Help us to use our waiting period to grow closer to You. Always let us know that it is Your will that will be done, not ours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

Reflect back on a time in your life when you prayed for something, but it wasn’t answered right away. When was that prayer answered? In hindsight can you now see why God made you wait for that answered prayer?

Godspeed,

Sarah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan, begins January 6, 2013. To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words: Motivated By Agape Love – Crossing a Threshold

December 4, 2012 by

Motivated By Agape Love

I want to piggyback on the last paragraph of Sarah’s section from yesterday. It flows right into my section today. Let’s read it again:

John kept his eyes on Jesus. He knew it wasn’t about him but about the mighty God he served. And that’s where we find inspiration. John’s story wasn’t about him; it was about Jesus. Just as our story isn’t about us; it’s about preparing the way for Jesus in the life of our husband (pg. 152, emphasis mine).

Jesus calls us to live out agape love toward our spouse. Agape love is a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional form of love. Agape is the love that Christ has for each one of us. Agape love is based upon a decision, not a feeling. When you live out agape love, you choose to love, despite the fact that you have been hurt. You choose to overlook the ways your spouse has slighted you. You choose to forgive your spouse for the way he has hurt you.

You choose to do all of this because Christ has done this for you. You choose to do this to honor God. You choose to love your spouse without expectation. You choose to love despite the cost.

Jesus loves every single one of us this way. Even Peter, who denied Jesus three times, was able to redeem himself in John 21:15-17 by choosing Jesus three times. If you really stop and think about that, it is pretty incredible. We will make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but Jesus still has agape love for us. We can honor Him by choosing to live out agape love toward the one we have pledged to spend our lives with.

But, you make the choice to love this way. Once you do, Jesus supplies the ability. Because we absolutely cannot do this of our own will. It is impossible. We are only able to love this way because of Christ working in us. The question is: Can you sacrifice your own needs, wants, and desires and truly love your husband with an agape form of love that is not based on anything other than choosing to love him like Christ loves you?

Crossing a Threshold

What are you willing to risk for your unbelieving husband to know Jesus? (pg. 156)

Have you ever prayed the most dangerous prayer? I have. But, I’ll admit the truth to you all since I have from the beginning of this study. I wanted this prayer answered in my way. I was not prepared for anything bad or negative to happen. I was not prepared to risk anything for my husband to know Jesus. I prayed the prayer believing that the Lord would put some things in my husband’s life and then his eyes would be opened. Ta-da! Magic. My hubby would fall to his feet and praise Jesus.

But, to really pray this prayer and sincerely mean it, we have to be loving our husbands with agape love.

The path of the spiritually mismatched is not an easy one. We must be willing to give up the life we have known and live the life that Christ wants us to live. This means sacrificing everything. Everything.

When we can finally do that, we allow God into those places that we have unintentionally closed off from Him. Those places that hurt and ache. He can fill those places and show us how to love the way He loves. Even if we have been hurt. Even if we have unforgiveness in our hearts. God cannot work in those places if we cannot open ourselves up and let Him in to change us.

Are you ready to cross that threshold?

***

Let’s Pray: Father, please reveal any areas of my life that I have unintentionally closed off from you. Help me to confront these issues today, Lord, and to release each one of them to you. I choose today to let you in to those dark, hurtful places. Please give me peace and a supernatural strength as I hand over each one of these issues to you and trust completely in your unfailing love and grace. Teach me how to begin loving my husband with an agape love, the way that you love us, Lord. In Jesus precious and holy name I pray, Amen!

Your Assignment: Pray and ask the Lord to show you what areas of your life you are holding back from him; what is holding you back from loving your husband with an agape love. Release these things to Jesus. Let Him in to those places that you have closed off; the places where you hurt and ache; the places where you hold onto unmet expectations. Let today mark a turning point in your relationship with the Lord and with your husband. Leave a comment below and let me know what you think of these sections in our book. What insights did you glean? What did you learn?

***

Our next Women’s Online Bible Study “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan, begins January 6, 2013. To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to learning about this “Crazy Love” with you!!  

We would LOVE to have your feedback on this study! Will you take a few minutes to complete the following survey? Your responses will help us create the best online bible study experience for you! CLICK THIS LINK to fill out the short 10 question form. Your responses are completely anonymous, I promise!! Thank you so much!

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Review

November 30, 2012 by

Picture this scene:

God:  I have called you to the Mission Field.

Woman:  Praise the Lord!  I’ve always desired to go into the jungles of Africa and preach your word.

God:  I have not called you to “go and preach” my Word in Africa or any other part of the world.  I have called you to “stay and show” my love to your un-saved husband.  You might say I have called you to be a home missionary.”

Woman:  Okay, God, if you insist.  But, where do I go to for training?  My church sends missionaries to school for training before sending them into the field.  And, not that I am hung up on money, but the church even gives them financial support.

God:  May I  break it to you gently:  You won’t be getting either of those.

Woman:  What do I get?

God:  Quite simply – –  the best of ME.  As a missionary wife, you are my personal ambassador, and you will receive the best training and equipment any soldier ever had going into battle. You see, a soul is at stake, but my armor is your shield of protection against all attacks, and you will come through each battle in victory and not defeat.

As for the financial support – -your reward shall be great.  Just like Esther, you have been brought into the Kingdom for such a time as this.

Woman:  I want to know more about this armor.

Weekly Review

Monday:  Beverly – Keep Your Armor On—You’re at War– -Beverly points out that when we get up each morning we are entering a battlefield

She directs us to Ephesians 6:12-17 that describes who the battle is with and what to do about it.

  1. Who?  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and the powers and the principalities of the air.

  2. What to do?  Put the armor on the whole armor of God and stand.

Beverly points to the fact that our strength for the front line of  battle comes from our commander, God.  It is God who also provides our armor to wear in order to go into the battle with strength.

She challenges us to wake up each morning, prepare your heart, put on your armor, and stand ready and prepared to help lead your man to the commander by your example

******

The question is: “What are the pieces of this armor that God tells us to use?” Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah describes each of the pieces.

Tuesday:  Jennifer

  1. The Belt of Truth – – The enemy will try to deceive us by telling us lies disguised as truth. We can stand firm against Satan’s sneaky attacks by having the Belt of Truth around our waists. With God’s Truth, we can rebuke the devil’s lies, schemes, and manipulations. We can turn to Jesus, who is Truth, when the devil tries to deceive us.

  1. The Breastplate of Righteousness – – Satan wants to attack us where we are most vulnerable – -in the heart where our emotions and sense of self-worth stem from. Protect your heart with the Breastplate of Righteousness which will never cause you to doubt God’s unending love for you and offer a barrier from despair and discouragement that Satan will try to use against you.

  1. The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace – – Our foundation is Jesus Christ and the Good News of His saving grace. The shoes that God fits us with will allow us to move when the time is right to share this Good News with others.

  1. The Shield of Faith – -God’s Shield of Faith will enable us to see past our current circumstances and difficulties to our ultimate victory.

Wednesday:  Donna

  1. Helmet of Salvation

  2. Sword of the Spirit

Our thoughts can be a real battle. A thought creeps in, and one thought leads to another, invading our mind, which leads to a pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christ’s representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough!

The Helmet of Salvation and The Sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is our protection against these doubts and lies that enter our minds.

Donna challenged us to think of our Bible heroes as our examples. When Daniel was told he must bow, he followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  Esther fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”  The ULTIMATE sacrifice was Christ when he went to the cross.  He went into the garden to pray first and put on his armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done” then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

Thursday:  Sarah  concluded the chapter with points on Basic Training

  1. When someone questions your faith, your beliefs, or your God; you need to be ready to give a logical answer that explains the hope and love you exude for Christ. BUT…you have to do it in a courteous and respectful way without yelling and degrading them.

  2. It is so important to arm yourself with the Word.

  3. Dig deeper than what you hear in church or from your most knowledgeable Christian friend. Educate yourself on what is said between the pages of the good book.

  4. The mission God has given you is to spread His message of love, hope and faith. To complete this mission, it is important to know scriptures and the meanings behind them. Then, once you have sharpened your sword with the Word, you are then able to present His Word logically and courteously.

**************

In conclusion, I’d like to review the assignments that each blogger gave us this week. May we see them as a way of judging ourselves in order to be better equipped for the call God has on our life – -Missionary Wife.

  1. Beverly:  Have you recognized any attacks from the enemy in your marriages lately? How did you take a “stand” against the enemy?  What have you learned new that God has shown you from studying this chapter that will be of help in future attacks against the enemy?

  2. Jennifer:  Which piece of the armor do you have the most difficulty wearing? Which piece is the easiest for you?

  3. Donna:  What is holding you back from putting on the armor everyday?

  4. Sarah:  Share your life verse – -the one that you read and almost felt the earth shake when you were finished!

Friday: Discovery/Prayer – Father, God, I thank you for what you have taught us this week about your armor through Winning Him Without Words, as well as personal thoughts of Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah.  Help us to make it a part of our daily routine of putting it on as we began our day.  In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

_____________________________

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at GCH_Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Have a blessed day,

Martha

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Lady in Waiting: Contentment (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by

 

Precious girlfriends, how are you doing?  I hope you are allowing the truths that we are learning in this Bible study transform your life to the glory of the Lord.  I am so blessed to hear from some of you how the study is making you grow into the women that God wants you to be.  I can also testify that this book is life changing and I am learning so many new things from each chapter.

This week we are going to learn how to become a Lady of Contentment.  This chapter will help us answer questions like – How does one become content as a single woman in a world full of couples?  How do you help a friend who starts planning a wedding just after a first date?  Have you been defrauded by yourself or a boyfriend?  Do you know what the Eleventh Commandment is?

The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 teaches us the Secret to Contentment.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

__________________________

Here is our reading assignment for Week 8

November 19:

Lady of Contentment / Torture of Desire / Capacity to Wait – Michelle


November 20:

Wait / Ditches of Discontentment – Jackie


November 21:

11th Commandment / Prenuptial Fantasies – Tonya


November 22:

Spiritual Monitor – Tonya


November 23:

Mystery of Contentment / Stop Arguing with the Umpire – Diane

__________________________

LET’S PRAY

Our Heavenly Father, we thank You each day for leading us to this Bible Study.  Thank You for teaching us new truths that are helping us become the women You desire us to be.  As we continue in this study, we ask You to continue to transform our minds so that we can be content with our lives as the Apostle Paul was.  We ask all this in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

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