May 20, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: Key #8 – Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons of Marriage (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by


I am really looking forward to this week’s chapter. There is a lot to dig into and what better time to talk about forgiveness in our marriages than during Thanksgiving week? The time we sit down with our loved ones to give thanks for all that we have. Take some time to soak in this chapter as your go about your Thanksgiving preparations. Ask God to meet you where  you are and for His help to overcome any unforgiveness you are experiencing.
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Here is your Reading Assignment for this week!

Nov 19
2 Cor 1:3 Move from Hurt to Healing – Seasons in Marriage
– Beverly

Nov 20
Travel the Road of Forgiveness
– Sarah

Nov 21
A Front Row Seat / Discovery / Prayer
–  Martha

Nov 22
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

Nov 23
*Special Blog Post – Thanksgiving Traditions
— Jennifer

 

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Let’s Pray: Lord, forgiveness is hard. But we know that we are commanded to forgive because you first forgave us. Help us to lay aside our own feelings and to truly forgive our spouse for any wrongdoing they may have committed against us. Please heal the bitterness and resentment that have taken root in our hearts which have prevented us from forgiving. Reveal your will to us, Father. Meet us where we are as we go into this week. Give us peace and strength and help us to place our full trust in You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,

Jennifer

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Guarding the Treasure

November 8, 2012 by

Over the past two years I have been honored to stand in four different weddings of women I prayed with, laughed with, grew with, and watched fall deeply in love with the man of their dreams. I have seen relationships grow from friendship to marriage. I have been blessed to watch newlyweds and long married couples invite their first or second child into the world. I have talked my friends through the process of deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a man they were interested in.

Let’s be honest, I have done my fair share of relationship watching. But the one thing that I have not done is gone on a date. That’s right, I have not been on one single date in the past two years, and let me tell you something…it is not easy watching friend after friend meet the person they will spend the rest of their lives with and begin that process, while I am left single, alone, and in the dust with out even a possibility.

Why do I start this post out with what seems to be a complaint about my relationship status? Not for sympathy or a pat on the back. Not so that you set me up with some suitor or encourage me to get my feet wet. But to share with you, that I have not been out with men because I am guarding my treasure. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. When everyone else is happily in love and oogling over their latest romance, I do most certainly get quite lonely at times. I would love to have a fling, lock lips with a handsome male friend, or even just go on a date for fun. But I have committed myself to guarding my heart, my body, and my love.

The author writes about some practical ways to avoid making decisions that will give away your treasure too soon. Ladies, this does not just mean your virginity or your body. This sometimes even means your words and your affection. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all love the coos and sweet words of men who desire to share some sort of intimacy with us. It makes us feel cared about, important, wanted, and maybe even loved. But we ought not give our love to every man who speaks whispers those sweet nothings into our ears. The reality of the situation is, there is a great chance that you may not end up with the most recent sweet-talker to grace your paths.

Let me be clear here: this is not a man bash. There are many great intentioned males out there who mean what they say and have actions to back it up. But while you wait for Mr. Right, please do not throw yourself at every man who says you are beautiful, unique, or special. Even if you are in the midst of a relationship that you think could be the one, you may want to go as far as asking this man not to pour out words of adornment until you are in a more committed stage of your relationship. Explain what it does to your heart. A good man will be able to prove how much he cares for you without using words. He will make you feel beautiful, unique and special by the way that he treats you. If he is using words and not backing them up with actions, please, ladies, DO NOT stick around expecting him to change! There are good men out there who will treat you like the woman of God that you are, so don’t settle for a man who does not hold himself, and you to those standards!

Best of all if you are guarding your treasure, when you meet the right man, you will not hear yourself echoing words that you once said to a former lover. You will not find yourself repeating actions that were once special with another man, but rather you will find that all of the adorable phrases and enjoyable “you-isms” will be safe for just this one man. Trust me, I know that it is difficult to watch your sisters and friends sharing these intimate moments with men left and right. It is so hard not to get sucked into wanting it for yourself, right now! However, we will all find in the end that the moments of intimacy lost on men who mean nothing will take away from the man who will mean everything. And the moments that you save will be that much more special!

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Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with the emotions and desires that we have! Thank you for knowing exactly how we can best use those emotions and desires. Give us the patience to save our energies for the man who you have in design for us. Let us invest our hearts in you for the comfort we lack during this time of singleness, so that we are better able to love our husbands when the time comes. Please bless us in this week as we enter into a deeper intimacy with you. Amen.

Your Assignment

 Talk with some of your sisters in Christ and/or an accountability partner about what your standards should be for a man. Write down a list of ways that you can protect your purity, and your heart when you do go out with a man you are interested in. Report back with one or two ways you have been doing that in your relationships with men.

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Winning Him Without Words: “The Call to Obedience” – “God’s Plan for Your Marriage”

October 30, 2012 by

 

What God requires of all covenant relationships, including marriages, is that He be at the center. Whether your husband believes this or not doesn’t matter.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 85

I cringed a bit when I opened my book and saw that I was writing on obedience this week. I’m sure the Lord got a good laugh at my expense! Obedience is not something that comes naturally to me. In fact, it is downright hard sometimes to live in full obedience to God. The earthly world is constantly pulling me this way and that, making me question my every decision. It is in these times that it becomes even more crucial to draw near to God and to live and breathe the pages of His Word.

But, how do we, as believers, live in obedience to the Lord in a spiritually unequal marriage?

Let me answer that question with another question.

How would your relationship with the Lord be different if you were in a spiritually equal marriage?

I want you to stop reading and really think about that question. Would your relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

Mine would. I mean, I could actively live out my faith with my husband. I could talk openly about it. We could pray together. We could read Bible passages together. We could go to church together. It would be amazing!!

Right?!

Right?!?!

Well, let us look back at the question I asked. Would YOUR relationship with Jesus be different if your spouse were saved?

What defines your relationship with Jesus? Is it defined by whether or not your spouse comes to faith? Is it defined by you being able to pray with your spouse or being able to read Bible passages together? Is it defined by going to church with your spouse…or not? Why does my (or your) relationship with our mighty Savior depend on the actions (or inactions) of another sinful, imperfect human?

Dear friends . . . God can only work in your life and in your marriage if you let Him. If you do not let Him in to those dark, secret, hurtful places, things will not change. He wants more than anything in the entire world for you and your husband to have a loving, thriving marriage. And, I’m here to tell you that you can have that. If you let God in. If you let God have control. If you are obedient to what God wants you to do. I am not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it. And you can do it with an unbelieving spouse by your side. Jesus tells us in His Word that there is one great commandment, which is:

“Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” (Matthew 22:36-40, KJV)

It does not say that we should love God only if our expectations of Him are met first.

It does not say that we should be obedient to God only if he meets our needs first.

God wants our love. He wants to be at the center of our lives.

He wants to be at the center of our marriages, whether our husband believes in Him or not. Since WE believe, WE bring Jesus into our marriage. And that, my dear friends, is powerful. Soak that it. Rest in that truth. Whether you see God in your marriage right now or not, I promise you HE IS THERE and HE IS WORKING.

I had to rely on God to rebuild my marriage according to His design, not my expectations.  —  Dineen Miller, pg. 87

So, if you are struggling in your marriage today, give God the reins. Ask God to show you how to be obedient to Him, when the world is telling you otherwise. Let God transform your marriage. He is able. The question is – Do you believe it?

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Let’s Pray: Father God, we sit at your feet in awe of who you are and just the depth of love that you have for each one of us. Father, please draw near to each person reading this blog today and help them grow in their relationship with you, regardless of where their spouse is spiritually. We know that you want our spouses saved even more than we do, Father. Just help us grow in our walk with you each and every day and not focus on what we do not have. We know you are able to accomplish mighty things, Lord, and we trust you to see that work through to completion. Open our ears, hearts, and minds to hear from you today and show us how to live obediently in Your Presence. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen!!!!!

Your Assignment: Write out your own prayer below asking God to help you be obedient to Him amidst any turmoil that may be surrounding you in your marriage. Let’s pray over one another today and for all of the marriages in need. Then head over to the secret Facebook group and let’s talk some more about obedience to the Lord.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

*****

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Lady In Waiting: The Body Beautiful Trap

October 23, 2012 by


“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”1 Peter 3:3-5 NIV

It is so amazing to note that the Bible touches on every subject that pertains to a woman’s needs; beauty being one of them.  Yet how many of us refer to this awesome book when it comes to issues affecting our beauty?  If we did then glossy magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and many others would have closed their doors due to lack of business.

Reading the above verse over and over again, I am beginning to understand that it’s not the “how to” articles in the magazines that will help me become beautiful.  The word of God is the best “how to” book ever.  The magazines will not only confuse me but also make me feel like I am not good enough because I am not as slim as the cover girl or my bank balance does not add up in order for me to buy the trendy clothes that are being advertised.  As holiday season draws near, magazines will carry articles such as “how to eat all you can and not gain weight”, “how to look great in last year’s party dress”, “how to impress that guy in time for the thanksgiving trip to visit your family.”  Almost every article you read in these magazines is about looking good, feeling great and getting the man of your dreams.

Every day we women are bombarded with these messages from morning till evening.  Even when you want to buy a car, the advert is not centered on the car but the kind of woman driving it.  She has the most beautiful smile, flawless skin and a body that most of us only dream about.

The single woman is not exempt, especially when it comes to meeting the right guy, friends analyze you and tell you the reasons you remain dateless, some will advise you to lose weight, others will advise you to do a complete makeover of your wardrobe – “you dress like an old lady, how do you expect to meet a guy wearing such flabby clothes?”, others will criticize you for not being found at the right places – “you don’t go out often, do you expect prince charming to dream that you live in this corner of the world?”  Your friends may mean well but their suggestions are contrary to what the word of God says.  Yes, you need to look good and feel good about yourself but looks alone will not go the extra mile.  As Jackie Kendall puts it “If a man chose me for external beauty, his destiny would be hugging a prune. But, if a man chooses me for my internal beauty, his destiny will be unfading beauty even in the twilight years of marriage, because of Jesus.”

What does this internal beauty look like?  What was it that Boaz saw in Ruth that made him to go to the elders at the town gate to ask to be the Kinsman Redeemer?  What was so special about this foreign lady who I am sure didn’t even bother with make up when she went to the field to pick up left over grain to make this wealth owner inquire about her?  I always picture Ruth putting on a veil above her head each morning before she left the house.   One would only see her eyes as she went about her business of finding food for her and her mother-in-law to eat.

Let us follow a conversation that took place when Ruth and Boaz met albeit for the first time.  “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?”  Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband – how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.  May the Lord repay you for what you have done.  May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”  Ruth 2:10-12.

Ruth won Boaz’s heart by her act of kindness, not how she looked, I am sure she was a beautiful woman but at the time she met Boaz, in the field, it had nothing to do with how she looked.

Girlfriends, the little or mundane things that you do for others are a testimony to your inner or internal beauty,  the times you help an elderly lady with groceries; when you hold the door for others to pass, when you give your seat to someone else in crowded room or help out others in need do not go unnoticed.  You don’t know who is watching and falling in love with your character.

“When you look at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see God’s picture of a beautiful woman. There are 20 verses describing her.  Only one verse mentions her outward appearance. If you were to spend 1/20 of your time on outward physical beauty and the other 19/20 on developing the other qualities God describes as beautiful, such as wisdom, kindness, and godliness, you would become the excellent woman Proverbs 31:10 says a man should try to find.”

Remember “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

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LET’S PRAY

Father, I pray that as your daughters, we will not fall prey to the trap that the enemy and the world have set for us about how we look.  We are beautiful in your sight; we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Help us to set our minds on things above and develop the qualities that you describe as beautiful.  We are vessels of honor ready to be used by you my Father.  May we live our lives as examples for others to follow.  In Jesus Name Amen.

 

Your Assignment:  

In the comments section below, please tell us: 

What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman?

In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour?

What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Stay Connected

October 14, 2012 by

 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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Well, how did the first two chapters go for you?  Are you ready to move forward and learn more about making your unequally yoked marriage thrive?  I am!!  Let’s get to it!

In this Chapter, Lynn walks us through different ways that we can stay connected to our husbands.  In the beginning of this chapter, she talks about how putting together a Fantasy Football Team gave her something in common with her husband.  I admit I haven’t been that much into football, or any other sport for that matter. But there are things that my husband and I do like to do together; riding motorcycles, movies, reading, playing cards, trying new restaurants, trying new foods and recipes, and more.

A little over five months ago, we turned off our television. Yes, shut it off!  We even had the cable turned off!  We had discussed this for a couple of years, but he was never really ready to give it a try.  But one day he brought it back up again, and I jumped at the chance.  I called the cable company and asked them to turn off our cable.  We looked at each other and said, “Well, Now What????”  🙂

From there, the only time we watched television was if the two of us wanted to sit down and watch a movie.  Netflix has some fun programs that we enjoyed watching, as well; like Myth Busters, or How It’s Made; both fun and interesting shows.

We weaned ourselves away from the television, and began to find new things to do together.  We began to explore new books.  We got into the reading the bible more.  We learned how to play new card games, or board games.  We went for more walks. We TALKED more!! That was a big one!!

During these five months, we grew together.  We learned more about each other.  We learned each others Love Language.  We spent more quality time together.  During our meals, we sat at the table and talked, instead of in front of the television without speaking a word to each other!  It was amazing what was happening in our marriage!

If you do not know what your spouse’s Love Language is, please click HERE for an online test.  HE WILL NEED TO TAKE THIS QUIZ.  It will be well worth it,Ladies, to learn his love language!!  His love language will speak directly to his heart!  Win-Win situation!  You will also see other quizzes for wives, children, teens, and singles!  Excellent site!

About a week ago, we decided that with winter months coming on board, and football season starting, we would turn the television back on; but we both agreed that it was not going to become the idol that it had been in our home before.  It would not become the thing that divided us, or took away our quality time!

It was funny when we turned the television back on and hooked it up to the antenna…we flipped through a few channels and said “Eh, nothing really on…so now what do you want to do?”  LOL  It wasn’t like before, where we would flip through the channels and even if we couldn’t find something worthy of watching, we would watch it anyway just to have something to do!!  That will not happen again!

We gained a lot during this time without our television, and we are determined not to let a stupid little box divide our relationship again!

I love my husband.  I know he loves me, too.  We want our marriage to be successful.  So we are determined in finding ways that we can make our marriage even better.  It isn’t a bad marriage, in any way!  Don’t get me wrong!  But I believe that every marriage has room for improvement, no matter how good it is!!  All it takes is a little work, creativity, and the determination to do it.  Whether it’s turning off the television, or creating a fantasy football league, or ??? … ask the Lord what will bring your marriage to a higher level, and then be intentional about it!!  Your marriage is worth it!

This week’s chapter has a whole lot more to offer you than what I’ve shared here.  Lynn covers some pretty awesome topics!  Be sure to spend the time that you need in this chapter.  I believe it is truly going to open your eyes in so many ways!!

 

Your Reading Assignment

Oct 15 – 1 Cor 13:4-7 – Love Is a Lifetime – Beverly

Oct 16 – All Things Are Not Equal – Jennifer

Oct 17 – Bring On the Bedroom – Donna

Oct 18 – When You Don’t Agree – Sarah

Oct 19 – Discovery / Prayer – Martha

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, I pray for each women that reads our blog posts this week.  I pray that each woman would be given creative ideas to stay connected with her husband.   Give us creative ideas of how we can meet our husbands needs physically, emotionally, and more.  Teach us his love language Lord. Help us to speak to him through his love language.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

If you would like to join this Online Bible Study and our Facebook Discussion Group, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of our page, and follow the instructions.  We will add you as soon as we receive your request.  🙂

God bless you,

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Overview

October 12, 2012 by

“Whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:  

thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.”

Ruth 1:16  

Yes, that was the scripture the minister spoke over my husband and me on our wedding day.

  1. From a peanut farm in Georgia to Tripoli Lybia, North Africa and on to Maine, Louisiana, Texas. Never would I have thought that  “going whither he goest and “lodged” would take me to so many places.

  2. His people became my dearest family.

  3. And then it happened – -seven years into the marriage, I met someone that separated us.  His name was Jesus, and at that point, my husband’s god was no longer my God.

It was then I set out on a mission to accomplish my #1 goal in my marriage – – -“Save my Husband,”  so that he would, not only go to hell, but enjoy this new man in my life with me.

But, no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t buy into it. To add to my place of defeat, I received a prophetic word that said:  “Sometimes we are looking for a closer relationship for our loved ones, when at the moment God is looking for that relationship with us.”

What I wanted to say to this person giving this prophetic word was:  “You missed it.  God and me are tight!  It’s my husband who needs to be in a relationship, and I am going to be the one who helps him obtain it.”  But, the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder one day and politely told me that He didn’t need my help; He could handle things.

And so it was, I had to stop doing what our author, Lynn Donovan, refers to as “spiritual ambush.”  [pg 40]

As Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah outlined each topic in Chapter 2, they bought us to a place of discovering

  • where we have been on our journey in trying to “Save Our Husbands”

  • where we are now

  • and where the Holy Spirit is leading us.

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Let’s review their points on Chapter 2 now.

Monday:  Don’t Save Your Husband, Save Yourself – -Beverly told us of all the many things she once did to get her husbands saved and in a relationship with the Lord. Beverly describes these manipulative efforts at soul winning as a handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

Beverly arrived at an important decision about her soul winning efforts: “I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  It’s Safe to Relinquish Control – -Jennifer pointed us to the fact that we know that we can’t save our husbands, but relinquishing our control is hard to do.  She agree with the reasons that Lynn stated that made it so hard.   [page 44]

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis

  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him

  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

But, Jennifer pointed to Lynn’s statement that made a humbling impression on her to stop the control game.  You are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.  [pg. 44]

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:   Throw Me a Life Preserver:   Donna pointed us to the reality that we are always in need of refining within our marriage. Forgiveness is one thing that is usually part of that refining process, which could go back to things that happened to us in childhood.  It is those experiences that might have left us with anger, bitterness, and a controlling nature.  Those things hurt our marriage and each other.

Donna summed it us by saying:  “I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory.

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  A Daily Prayer / How Should We Pray—Sarah brought us back to the place we should be before we got on the bandwagon of trying to Save Our Husbands – – -Prayer!

Even with that revelation, Sarah points to the fact that we have to rid ourselves of distractions, get focused, and the ultimate question of “How to Pray.”

What works for Sarah has been:

  • Praying in the morning, which frees my mind of the day’s worries because nothing has happened yet to worry or stress me out! Another benefit to praying in the morning is I am better prepared to handle anything that may come along to worry or stress me out!

  • To stay focus, Sarah started a prayer journal, as Lynn suggested.  She says that by writing her prayers out in long hand, really brings her focus onto the paper and away from the distractions in the room.

  • How to Pray, Sarah says that praying from her Bible, using the right scriptures for what she needs God’s help in, but really didn’t know how to ask.  She turns those scriptures into a personal prayer.

Sarah’s new prayer life is inspiring a special person in her life – – HER HUSBAND!

May we do likewise!

Friday:  Discovery/Prayer:  Father God, if I could pray just one simple prayer for myself, and this whole community of women who are desiring a closer walk with you, it would be this:  “Help us to be doers of your word, and not just hearers.”  Those things that you have revealed to us this week are priceless.  Help us walk them out.  In Jesus name, I pray.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Throw Me a Life Preserver!

October 10, 2012 by
Jesus answered,
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6
The decision I made to follow Christ was the single most life changing decision I could have made.Once I decided to follow Him I immersed myself in Him. We literally ate, drank and slept Jesus. It was a time of learning and seeking for both my husband and I. The things I learned and resolved were so freeing!
As I grew in Christ I learned to forgive. I was able to let go of the unforgiveness I had for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents when I was a child. That forgiveness was for me as well. I had carried it around for so long and letting go of it gave me a freedom in my heart I didn’t even know existed!! God has said the truth shall set you free and I was free indeed. So in my journey with Christ I have learned to recognize that nudge from God when I need to let something go and forgive.
Having already confessed that I am somewhat of a control freak, letting go is sometimes hard for me. I need refining and reminding just like Lynn says. Our marriage is always being refined and I think it should be. As we yield our marriage to God, he loves and shapes us into the couple who can serve Him free of all the hurts and pain we bring on each other. Our life journey is together as well as separate. We experience life and problems from our own unique perspectives.
As I yield these experiences to God and choose to let Him lead, I react in a right and godly way. My husband sees that and hopefully wants to respond that way too. We, as their wives, are a constant example of Christ to them since we live together 24/7. I’m always asking God to show me how to respond, move on and forgive if I need to, in the situations in our life. Now I’m not always successful, I fail more times than I want, but I get right back up and try again knowing God always gives me another chance. The little things I let crowd in and fester can be let go of  if I yield it to my Savior.
Twenty years ago, when I gave up looking for our new house because our supposed “dream house” fell through, I let anger take over. I left it to my husband to find us a house. He finally chose one that I hated! It had gold shag carpet, gold draperies, and brown and orange wall paper in the dining room! It was ugly! But my husband saw potential. So once again I had to choose not to be angry and let it go.
The choice to let go of the control of choosing a home for us and leave it to God and trust that my husband had made the right choice was not easy. I prayed and spent much time speaking out to God that I wanted Him to be in control. Giving it over daily was all I could do.
My husband has literally remodeled every room in the house and even built us a beautiful bedroom retreat with a balcony just for us!  Our home is beautiful thanks to God and my husband. I can praise God that he chose it and my husband for all the hard work he has put into it. God took care of my needs and our marriage too. I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory!
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Let’s pray:
God we love you. Help us to let go of things that hold us back from making us all you want us and our marriage to be.  Free us form those strongholds that we let take over. Free us to move in our marriages just the way you want us to. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name Amen
Your assignment:
Are there things in your life, like I had in mine that hold you back in your marriage? Unforgiveness, anger, control? Let’s name some of these things and purpose to give it to God and then let’s pray for one another over them. After all the body of Christ need each other and what better way than to pray for our sisters to be free??!!
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If you are interested in joining our FREE Online Bible Study, please click on the “Sign-Up Here” button at the top of our webpage, and follow the instructions.  We’ll be glad to get you signed up!
Blessings,
Donna
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Winning Him Without Words: Jesus with “Skin On” / Weekly Review

October 5, 2012 by

 

The young mother tucked her little boy in bed, turned off the lights, and walked out of his room.  It was then she heard him cry out:  “Mom, turn the lights back on; I’m scared of the dark.”  The mother walked back into his room to reassure him.  “Now, son, don’t be afraid, Jesus is here with you.”  To which he replied:  “I know Jesus is in here with me, but I want somebody with some skin on!”

Can we admit that we all have felt that way?  “Yes, I know you are near Jesus, but, I really want someone to pray and study your word with me, someone to sit beside me in church, and most of all, Jesus, I want to talk to someone about I much I love YOU.   That someone is my husband.  Won’t you please tell him to come into the room with me?  I am scared of being in this dark room alone.”

Thirty eight years have passed since the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior, and my husband still hasn’t shown up in that dark room with me.  But, my goodness how God has blessed me by sending so many Jesus with “Skin On” people!  They brought light into my dark and lonely room!

Allow me to introduce a few of them to you.

  1. Jackie:  Always saved a seat for me in church so I wouldn’t have to sit alone.

  2. Gerry, Beth, Gloria:  Spent hours cleaning their homes for the weekly bible study.  Oh, yes, Beth Moore  taught me much, but it was these ladies who made it possible by opening up their homes to me and all the other ladies.

  3. Sylvia, Irene, Susan:  Prophets that God used to give me a prophetic word at times when I thought I couldn’t take another step.

  4. My Pastor:  Preached sermons that I know he prepared just for me!

  5. Melba, my pastor’s wife:  Gave me opportunities in ministry.  Quite frankly, I had always thought that I couldn’t go into ministry with an unsaved husband. What do I have to offer if the head of my household is not serving the Lord?

I just know that these people will receive a special reward in heaven one day for being obedient to God, and being there for me.

But, I have to confess that when the journey stretches into years of being unequally yoked as it has for me, there is a tendency to grow weary.  As the year 2010 was drawing to a close, I felt like I had reached my limits. “When is this man, my high school sweetheart, father of our two daughters, and grandfather of three going to fall down at the feet of Jesus?”  I felt the lights being turned off in the room again.

And then one day in March, 2011, God showed up with a whole army of Jesus with “Skin On” people.  It happened like this.

I stumbled upon the book, Winning Him Without Words by Lynn and Dineen.  In all my many years of being unequally yoke, I had never read a book about the unequally yoked, nor had I been associated with anyone “like me.”  But, God in his perfect timing introduced me to these two ladies, along with their community of women on their website, Spiritually Unequal Marriage.  And then, He introduced me to you, my friends, at Girlfriends Coffee Hour.

I’m not alone in the dark room anymore. – -I’m hanging out with – – Jesus with “Skin On” people from all over the U.S. and world who are “just like me!”

As for my husband?   “He has made  everything beautiful in its time.” [Ecc. 3:11]

Let’s Pray:  

Father God, I ask you in the name of your son, Jesus, that every lady taking this course be blessed with Jesus with “Skin On” people so that they will not sit in a dark room alone.  We need each other to help us walk out our lives before our husbands according to 1 Peter 3.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:  

Who are your Jesus with Skin On people?  Take time today, not only to thank God for them, but call or send them a note expressing your appreciation for being with you on your journey.  For starters, list them in the comment section.

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And now, as we come to the close of the first chapter of Winning Him Without Words, review this past week:

Monday:  Know That You are not Alone:  Beverly pointed to page 27 in our book that described her feelings of being alone: yearns for her husband to sit with her, feel his arm come around her shoulder, desires to have him look up Bible verses together,  hold her hand after they found it.  But, Beverly made a decision she has stuck with for 33 years.

  • Stopped worrying about her husband, and left him in God’s hands.

  • Kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led her into.

  • Kept asking her hubby to come with her.

  • Took her children with her so they could learn about Jesus.

  • And thanks God that He is sitting with her in that pew, along with  friends who support, embrace, and pray for her.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  The Alone Factor:  Jennifer pointed us to reality:  we are alone by not having a spiritual connection with our husbands, and it hurts.  But, she learned the real truth:

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:  Is it Possible to Thrive in a Mismatched Marriage?  Donna assures us that we can thrive in a mismatched marriage and this is how she learned to do it:

When I let God be in control he takes away the anxiety of my life. God meets me right where I am and meets hubby where he is too. My marriage can grow and THRIVE!! I can rest assured God has our backs in this marriage-After all he created marriage! All I need do is get off my “throne” and hand my scepter over to God, pray for my husband and let God work!

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  Placing Christ On The Throne:  Sarah makes a statement that all of us could probably admit to when she says:  To surrender your power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible.

But, Sarah has made a commitment to start each day with the following prayer no matter how silly she may feel: Jesus, right now as I begin this new day, I surrender my place of authority over my life to You.  I am placing You firmly on the throne of my life.  Teach me to focus on Your desires for living.  I give you my entire life this day.  In Your powerful name Jesus.  Amen

May we do likewise.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email our Prayer Team Leader:  Robin@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com, and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,

Martha

 

 

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Winning Him Without Words: Placing Christ on the Throne

October 4, 2012 by

And Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

MATTHEW 28:20

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Placing Christ On The Throne by Sarah Boyer

To surrender you power and control is a hard thing to do. Some may say impossible. But by relinquishing all the power to Jesus and letting him fill your heart, mind and soul, you will experience the greatest feeling of peace. I know; I’ve done it.

I am a control freak and a worrier. If I don’t have a perfectly laid out plan for everything in my life, I feel out of control, unorganized and frazzled. I am not at rest until I have that plan! This is something Jesus has been tugging at me to fix. I am a work in progress, but this is how I am evolving:

I used to sit and make MY plan of how I think things should go.

My plan would fail and I’d become anxious, angry and uptight, snipping and yelling at everyone in my path.

Then I’d start all over again with a new plan.

Big Fat Fail! It never occurred to me to ask Jesus what His plan was for me! I always thought that Jesus didn’t care about my little day-to-day affairs. He only cared about the big stuff, where I should go to college, whom I should marry, live etc.

I’ve recently learned that Jesus wants to guide your every move, from the little things such as what you eat all the way to the big stuff such as how to speak with your non-believing spouse. It’s sort of like how you help your children. You help them make the simple choices in hopes that when the big decisions come, they will come to you for guidance. Jesus wants to do the same. He wants to guide you through it all. This brings to mind Proverbs 16:9: The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

So this is my new plan!  

I am going to start each day with this prayer from now on!

It is suggested in our study today, that you get out of bed and fall to your knees when you say this prayer. At first when I started doing this, I felt silly. Not because my husband would see me and judge me because he leaves for work 3 hours before I even get up. But because I felt foolish. Isn’t that silly? No one around but me and Jesus and I felt silly. But I made myself do it and have been doing it for the past few days and the foolish feeling is wearing off and the peace and comfort of surrendering to Jesus is taking over. I’ll trade that for foolishness any day! Besides, what better way to start your day then arming yourself with the power of Jesus inside you?

I am now better prepared to handle anything that comes along throughout the day because all I have to do is recall our simple prayer, surrender my authority of the situation and give it to Jesus to handle. And He always does!

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord, I pray that you can help us all to surrender our authority over to you. Remind us there is no problem big or small for you to handle for us. Please fill our heart, mind and soul with your leadership so that the troubling, painful and fearful circumstances of our lives lose their power. We can do all things through you. In Jesus name, amen.

Your Assignment:

Your assignment today is to write out a prayer that you will begin praying each day, just after you get up. A prayer that gives Jesus control of your day. A prayer that asks Him to direct your day, so you can stay on task for the things that He wants of you. Post this prayer in the comment section below, so we can be praying with you, as well.

If you are interested in joining us in our Women’s Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups!

Godspeed!

Sarah

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