unconditional love

Love is the Home for Both

July 24, 2015 by Kim Spring

In the fifteenth chapter of Luke, starting with verse 11, we read the story of the prodigal son. I’m sure you have read or heard this so many times but bear with me for a minute. The actual word ‘prodigal’ means ‘the squanderer or the waster’. And the prodigal son did squander his inheritance and totally wasted all that his father gave him.

If you think about it, we have all played both roles at some time in our lives. Maybe at one point we are the older, responsible son—keeping everything in order and never disappointing our Father, and looking down on those who do and those who give the sinner a break. We have also been the younger one—wasting our inheritance from our Father, turning to anyone or anything that will make us “happy”, and running so far the other way. But instead of finding happiness and freedom, we find ourselves in slavery to this other life that we thought we wanted so desperately. We find ourselves starving for real substance and we are desperate for the life we had before.

And then there’s the father who never gave up on his son, and continued to search and wait and believe that they will one day be a family again. The son returns and the father lavishes love and compassion and hugs. He gives him his best robe and a ring and acts as if nothing happened. Even when the older son gets mad and protests, the father does not judge him. He is fair and just, resembling our Father in Heaven.

Here is the story:

The Parable of the Lost Son

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV)

Which son do you relate to? Have you run so far or are you a slave to something other than God? Have you wasted all that God has given you for something you thought was better? Or are you the older brother, looking down on the one who made the bad choices, and maybe a little bitter when he is given mercy by others?

God is your Father and He loves you. If you have run away, He is ready to meet you where you are. He is willing to accept you just the way you are and give you the finest life and the abundant blessings that are yours! All you have to do is ask. God’s arm reaches so far and you can’t ever outrun Him.

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Do you know this Father I’m talking about? Do you want this unconditional love that you’ve just read about? Then pray this with me:

Dear God, I know I am a sinner and I need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus, Your Son, died on the cross to save me from my sins and I will have Him in my heart forever. I love You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Filed Under: encouragement Tagged With: Encouragement, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, Jesus, Kim Spring, Love is the Home for Both, luke 15:11-32, prodigal son, unconditional love

He’s Alive!

March 17, 2015 by Tina Marin

The gates and doors were barred
And all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness
And rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow
And half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin’ through
To drag us all away

And just before the sunrise
I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle
And a voice began to call
I hurried to the window
Looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches
And the sound of soldiers’ fee

But there was no one there but Mary
So I went down to let her in
John stood there beside me
As she told us where she’d been
She said they might have moved Him in the night
And none of us knows where
The stone’s been rolled away
And now His body isn’t there

We both ran toward the garden
Then John ran on ahead
We found the stone and empty tomb
Just the way that Mary said
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in
Was just an empty shell
And how or where they’d taken Him
Was more than I could tell

Oh something strange had happened there
Just what I did not know
John believed a miracle
But I just turned to go
Circumstance and speculation
Couldn’t lift me very high
‘Cause I’d seen them crucify Him
Then I saw Him die

Back inside the house again
The guilt and anguish came
Everything I’d promised Him
Just added to my shame
When At last it came to choices
I denied I knew His name
And even if He was alive
It wouldn’t be the same

But suddenly the air was filled
With a strange and sweet perfume
Light that came from everywhere
Drove the shadows from the room
And Jesus stood before me
With His arms held open wide
And I fell down on my knees
And I just clung to Him and cried

Then He raised me to my feet
And as I looked into His eyes
The love was shining out from Him
Like sunlight from the skies
Guilt in my confusion
Disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I’d ever had
Just melted into peace

He’s alive, He’s alive
He’s alive and I’m forgiven
Heaven’s gates are open wide
He’s alive, He’s alive

Written and sung by Don Francisco

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I cannot think of a better song to represent suffering for your actions and attitudes. The guilt and shame we carry for an act for which our head knew we should not do, but our fear and emotions reacted first.

Peter is such an excellent example of this and how much Jesus loves us. We may not walk physically with Jesus as Peter did, but He is right there, waiting on us to call upon Him as we would a trusted friend. Jesus, of all people, knew what Peter was going to do but He also knew what Peter was capable of once he was forgiven and released from his sin. Sisters, that is what God wants for us! He wants us to be released from our guilt and shame…to turn away from our sin…to rely on God’s love, grace, and mercy.

Another great example of Jesus’ forgiveness and love is the woman who was caught in adultery (Luke chapter 7) and brought before Jesus to be condemned. I cannot imagine how she felt, appearing before all of the people, with her sin being proclaimed in the open, in front of the temple. As the men were trying to trick Jesus, He cleverly reminded them to not be so hasty in their attempt to throw stones.

Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—
as her great love has shown.
But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.
Luke 7:47 NIV

God loves His people, Jews and Gentiles alike. He does not want to condemn us…our sins, yes…but not us. Jesus commanded husbands to love their wives as He loves. Unconditionally, without reservation, without restraint.

Today, seek out areas where you can love more and better and unconditionally. Today, ask for the Holy Spirit to show you where you are forgiven and let the ‘strange, sweet perfume’ surround your senses (as this song describes Peter’s experience). Wow!

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Father, we love You! Thank You for the reminder from Don Francisco of Your unconditional love. I want a most intimate relationship with You. Help me shrug off all of the years of guilt and shame. Help me surrender them all to You so You can build a brand-new me that honors and glorifies You in everything I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: don francisco, Forgiveness, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, He's Alive, Jesus' resurrection, psalms-hymns-spiritual-songs, Tina Marin, unconditional love

Can He, Could He, Would He, Did He….

September 4, 2014 by coleen hayden

Can He (can He save me), could He (could He love me)
Would He (would He take me), did He (did He really)
Can He, could He, would He, yes, He can, He could, He would, and He did
Can He (can He save me), could He (could He love me)
Would He (would He take me), did He (did He really)
Can He, could He, would He, yes, He can, He could, He would, and He did

From the moment I heard about the Lord and His Word
Well, it seemed to be too good to be true
Major questions and doubts I tried to figure it out
But the best that I could do
Was to wander around in the love that I found
Until my questions started answering themselves, singing
Can He, could He, would He, yes, He can, He could, He would, and He did.

You can say you don’t know it’s necessarily so
Like somebody said it once in a song
You can think what you choose, but, let me tell you the news
The Lord has loved you all along
So if you’re asking again will the doubts never end,
Simply trust Him and you’ll see for yourself, singing
Can He, could He, would He, yes, He can, He could, He would, and He did
Can He, could He, would He, yes, He can, He could, He would, and He did

Songwriters: Dwight Liles, John Chisum / Performed by The Vocal Union* ~ ♥ ~ ✞ ~ ♥ ~ * Cute song, yes? But really these {Can He save me? Could He love me? Would He take me? Did He really?} are deep, vital questions! And we each need to know—that we know—that we know the answers! Oh, we might be able to say we do…but…are we convinced in our hearts? The Scriptures give us the Truth to hold onto and treasure in our hearts for those times we may falter.

Can He save me? Yes, He can…and He did!

This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,
Who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
1 Timothy 2:3

For by grace are ye saved through faith;
and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Ephesians 2:8 and 9

And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven
that has been given among men by which we must be saved.
Acts 4:12

Could He love me? Yes, He could…and He does!

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world
that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son,
so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.
John 3:16 AMP

But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!
Romans 5:8

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us
and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:10

Would He take me? Yes, He would…and He’ll never leave you!

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.
Psalms 103:8-14

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities,
nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height,
nor depth, nor any other created thing,
will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38 and 39

Then Peter opened his mouth and said: Most certainly and thoroughly I now perceive
and understand that God shows no partiality and is no respecter of persons,
But in every nation he who venerates and has a reverential fear for God,
treating Him with worshipful obedience and living uprightly,
is acceptable to Him and sure of being received and welcomed by Him.
Acts 10:34 and 35

Did He really (do ALL that)? Yes, He did…and much, much more…and none of that will ever change!

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Can He? Could He? Would He? YES, He can! He could…He would…and He did!

Oh. Yes. He. Did. (Don’t ever forget that!) ♥

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: Can He Could He Would He Did He, coleen hayden, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, God desires all men to be saved, God not a respecter of persons, not that we loved God but He loved us, nothing can separate us from love of God, psalms-hymns-spiritual-songs, saved by grace through faith not of works, unconditional love

Wake

July 31, 2014 by Tina Marin

I’m ready, God, so ready,
    ready from head to toe,
Ready to sing, ready to raise a tune:
    “Wake up, soul!
Wake up, harp! wake up, lute!
    Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!”

I’m thanking you, God, out loud in the streets,
    singing your praises in town and country.
The deeper your love, the higher it goes;
    every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness.

Soar high in the skies, O God!

    Cover the whole earth with your glory!
Psalms 57:7-11 (The Message)
David was so thankful!  David grew up relying on God’s great strength and guidance.  Whatever was placed in David’s way, God was there.  All David had to do was to call upon the name of the Lord.
Who is on your speed dial when trouble arises? Most likely it is a trusted friend or a parent. Sometimes it can be a counselor or our pastor. It should be our Lord.  We are human. We have a need to discuss our shortcomings and our fears with each other. A girlfriend and I were discussing our children and our fears for them. She was saying how she was afraid her son was going to make wrong decisions again and was holding on to him so tightly that he was suffocating. I explained to her how she needed to release those fears and give them to God. If we don’t do that, especially if they are older, they will run at the first opportunity they get. She mentioned how, now that her daughter in on her own, she does not worry so much about her. But because her son is still home, she does.
Maturity occurs at different stages for each of us. I did not move out until I was 23. Her daughter moved out at 21 and my son moved out at 22. My step-daughter moved in with us at 25 and has since moved into an apartment with a friend at 27. Life is an adventure that we should embrace and praise Him for. We need to find positives about each stage we and others are at in our lives.
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Father, thank You for Your unconditional love!  I give You praise for what has and what will happen.  Good or bad…You are always there, standing, watching, sending your Holy Spirit to prompt us when we need it.  Give us David’s heart and love he had for You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Filed Under: Seeking Him Daily Devotional Tagged With: daily devotions, David's example, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, psalms 57:7-11, Seeking Him devotional, Tina Marin, unconditional love

Love is the Home for Both

July 25, 2014 by Kim Spring

In the fifteenth chapter of Luke, starting with verse 11, we read the story of the prodigal son. I’m sure you have read or heard this so many times but bear with me for a minute. The actual word ‘prodigal’ means the squanderer or the waster. And the “prodigal son” did squander his inheritance and totally wasted all that his father gave him.

Here is the story:

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV)
The Parable of the Lost Son

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

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Do you know this Father I’m talking about? Do you want this unconditional love that you’ve just read about? Then pray this with me:

Dear God, I know I am a sinner and I need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus, Your Son, died on the cross to save me from my sins and I will have Him in my heart forever. I love You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Filed Under: encouragement Tagged With: Encouragement, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, Jesus, Kim Spring, Love is the Home for Both, luke 15:11-32, prodigal son, unconditional love

Love Stepped In

July 22, 2014 by kim golds

He was preachin’ down off 3rd and Main as I was passin’ by
He was walking talking kinda crazy warnin’ us all ’bout the end of time
So out from the crowd, I just asked him how could God love a mess like me
He said, “Son, I’m a preacher now but that ain’t who I used to be”
He said

You’ll never know, you’ll never know
Just how far Love has brought me
You’ll never know who I used to be
Cause I’ve been around and I’ve been down
To the bottom of hell and back again
I was almost out, I was at my end
But then Love stepped in

She works downtown at the halfway house almost every day
All the love she has she just gives away
So I asked her why she spends so much time on the broken and the poor
And she just smiled at me and said “I’m not who I was before”
She said

You’ll never know, you’ll never know
Just how far love has brought me
You’ll never know who I used to be
Cause I’ve been around and I’ve been down
To the bottom of hell and back again
I was almost out, I was at my end
But then Love stepped in
Love stepped in

I look back sometimes over where I’ve been and just how far I’ve come
Since the day that preacher told me about His amazing love
I was lost and alone, then the lights came on and hope set my heart free
In the darkest hour grace got a hold of me, yeah

You’ll never know, you’ll never know
Just how far love has brought me
You’ll never know who I used to be, oh oh
Cause I’ve been around and I’ve been down
To the bottom of hell and back again
I was almost out, I was at my end
But then Love stepped in
Love stepped in

Written and Performed by ‘Finding Favour”
— along with Carl Cartee, Aaron Tomberlin, Nathan Tomberlin

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I have a question on my heart to ask: Are you one of the ‘church’ people (religious) or do you love unconditionally just like Jesus did?

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious,
never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.
It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him,
and always stand your ground in defending him.
All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end,
but love goes on forever…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 TLB

There is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it’s no love. You might like someone conditionally based on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say ‘I love you just because’, for love has no cause, love comes from God.
Let us be those who love unconditionally and not those who love with conditions….

Excerpt from Campus Crusade for Christ.org.
Here is a link to the entire article.

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Heavenly Father, help us to love others as You have loved us with a life-changing love that sees no conditions. Help us to love others with only the authentic pure love that You have so freely given to us. In Jesus’ name. Amen!!

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, campus crusade for Christ, Finding Favour, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, kim golds, Love Stepped In, psalms-hymns-spiritual-songs, unconditional love

Love Song

March 28, 2014 by kim golds

~ Imagine Jesus singing this to you ♥ ~

I’ve heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
I’ve never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of Calvary

Just to be with you, I would do anything
There’s no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I will give everything
I would give My life away

I’ve heard it said that a man would swim the oceans
Just to be with the one he loves
But all of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done
I’ve never swam the deepest oceans
But I walked upon the raging sea

I know that you don’t understand the fullness of My love
How I died upon the Cross for your sins
And I know that you don’t realize how much that I give you
And I promise, I would do it all again
Just to be with you, I’ve done everything
There’s no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away

The love of the Father…a love unlike anything I have ever known in my life. The mystery of a love so unconditional, so filled with grace and mercy that He would walk to Calvary and take on the sacrifice and punishment for my sins. Me—a sinful woman saved by grace. It is something I cannot begin to fathom or possibly understand, and yet, it is the love of God.The Scripture says in 1 John 1:5-9 KJV

This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you,
that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness,
we lie, and do not the truth:
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another,
and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I want to walk in the light; don’t you? What does it mean to walk in the light and love of God?

“I must ‘walk in the light as He is in the light…’— not in the light of my own conscience, but in God’s light. If I will walk there, with nothing held back or hidden, then this amazing truth is revealed to me: ‘. . . the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth [me] from all sin’ so that God Almighty can see nothing to rebuke in me. On the conscious level it produces a keen, sorrowful knowledge of what sin really is. The love of God working in me causes me to hate, with the Holy Spirit’s hatred for sin, anything that is not in keeping with God’s holiness. To ‘walk in the light’ means that everything that is of the darkness actually drives me closer to the center of the light.” – Oswald Chambers

Walking in the love of God and receiving that I have been cleansed of ALL sin and then choosing to walk in the light is how we drive out any darkness in our lives. What an awesome revelation!

God’s perfect love not only casts out fear as it says in 1 John 4:18. It also drives out sin and darkness in our lives. Temptations will always be out there. It is what we CHOOSE to do with it that makes the difference between walking in the light or in darkness. I have lived my life both ways and I would not go back to living in darkness for NOTHING!!! Freedom in Jesus is sweet!

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Let me pray with you: Heavenly Father, I thank You for the revelation that walking in Your perfect love drives out not only fear in our lives, but also sin and darkness. Thank You for a love like I have never known that saved me from the darkest of places. I pray that anyone reading this would come to know the unconditional love of the Father and just how very much You love them. In Jesus’ name. Amen!!!

Filed Under: Psalms Hymns and Spiritual Songs Tagged With: 1 John 1:5-9, 1 John 4:18, be in the light as He is in the light, GCH, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, kim golds, Love Song, psalms-hymns-spiritual-songs, Third Day, unconditional love, walk in light

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Releasing Present Anger

May 10, 2013 by Megan Smidt, CCLC

Dear Megan,

I pray you can help me. I have spent a lot of time working through the anger from my past, but I am really struggling releasing anger I am currently feeling in a constructive way. Maybe that means I haven’t truly released myself of the pain of my past anger, I don’t know. I do know that I need help now and I pray God can speak to me through you on this. Thank you for any help you can give!

~C.D.

Dear one, thank you for your question. I think we need to start off by understanding what is at the core of anger. Really, when we feel that our real or perceived rights have been violated, we can easily respond with anger.

This is something very real that many people struggle with…sometimes in certain seasons, situations and circumstances more than others. What is not okay is if we are walking around with the wrong belief that we have the right to be angry about our disappointments and choose to stay angry for as long as we feel like it. It is not okay to walk around with the belief that you have the right to express your anger in whatever way is natural to you. That is why I loved in your question when you said that you are struggling with releasing anger in a constructive way…. this implies that THIS is the type of guidance you are looking for and THAT, I believe, is pleasing to God!

What we want is to believe in our hearts that our Lord is sovereign over us and that we trust Him with our lives. We must yield our rights to Him and, through that, our human disappointments become God’s appointments to increase our faith and develop His character in us! We must choose to NOT be controlled by our anger, but to use our anger to motivate us to do whatever God wants us to do.

1 Peter 1:6-7

⁶In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

⁷These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold,

which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I pray that the following steps will help you to handle your present anger constructively and biblically.

1. Acknowledge Your Anger {Proverbs 28:13}

Be willing to admit you are angry
Be aware of when you feel angry
Become aware of suppressing or repressing your anger because of fear
Be willing to take responsibility for any inappropriate anger

2. Analyze Your Style { Psalm 139:23-24}

How often do you feel angry?
How do you know when you’re angry?
How do others know when you’re angry?
How do you release your anger?

3. Assess the Source {Psalm 51:6}

Hurt, injustice, fear, frustration, _________

4. Appraise Your Thinking {Proverbs 21:29}

Are you expecting others to meet your standards? “She should take better care of her children.” “They ought to notice what I do for them.”
Are you guilty of distorted thinking? {Exaggerating the situation, assuming the worst, labeling one action based on other actions, generalizing, etc.}

5. Admit Your Needs {Anger is often a tactic used to get inner needs met} {Philippians 4:19}

Do you use anger as a manipulative play to demand certain “musts” in an attempt to feel loved?
Do you use explosive anger to get your way in an attempt to feel significant?
Do you use controlling anger, insisting on certain conditions in order to feel secure?
DO you know that only Christ can ultimately meet all your needs?

6. Abandon Your Demands {Learn to look to the Lord to meet your needs instead of demanding that from others} {Jeremiah 31:3} {Jeremiah 29:11} {Psalm 118:6} {2 Peter 1:3}

“Lord, though I would like to feel more love from others, I know that You love me unconditionally.”

“Lord, though I would like to feel more significant to those around me, I know that I am significant in Your eyes.”

“Lord, though I wish I felt more secure in my relationships, I know I am secure in my relationship with You.”

“Lord, though I wish others would be more responsive to my needs, I know that You have promised to meet all my needs.”

7. Change Your Attitudes {Take these steps outlined in Philippians 2:2-8}

Have the goal to be like-minded with Christ
Do not think of yourself first
Give the other person preferential treatment
Consider the other person’s interests
Have the attitude of Jesus
Do not emphasize your position or rights
Look for ways to demonstrate a servant’s heart
Speak and act with a humble spirit
Be willing to die to your own desires

8. Address Your Anger {Galatians 2:20}

Determine whether your anger is really justified
Decide on the appropriate response {How important is the issue? Would a good purpose be served if it is mentioned? Should I acknowledge my anger only to the Lord?}
Depend on the Holy Spirit for guidance
Have constructive dialog when you confess
Don’t speak from a heart of unforgiveness {think before you speak}
Use personal statements such as “I feel…” instead of “How could you…” or “Why can’t you…”
Stay focused on present issue {don’t bring up past grievances}
Don’t assume the other person is wrong… actively listen for their point of view
Don’t expect instant understanding. Be patient and always respond with gentleness
Show the love of God by saying the following to yourself: I placed my anger on the cross with Christ. I am no longer controlled by anger. I am alive with Christ living inside me. I will let Christ forgive through me. I will let Christ love through me. I will let Christ reveal truth through me.

****Please, please journal out your thoughts, prayers and fears as you begin this journey to constructively release your present anger. I am praying God will move in your life in a mighty way through this and may He get all the glory!

Are YOU struggling with anger? How might you benefit by using this exercise along with our dear C.D?

Blessings,

Coach Megan 🙂

Filed Under: Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan Tagged With: 1 Peter 1:6-7, 2 Peter 1:3, Christian Life Coach, disappointment, Encourage, expectations, feelings, Forgiveness, Galatians 2:20, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan, god's love, God's power, high expectations, hurt, Jeremiah 29:11, Jeremiah 31:3, Megan Smidt, Online Women's Bible Studies, peace, Philippians 2:2-8, Philippians 4:19, Proverbs 21:29, Proverbs 28:13, Psalm 118:6, Psalm 139:23-24, Psalm 51:6, significance, thought patterns, unconditional love, unforgiveness

Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan: Getting Past the Hurt

May 3, 2013 by Megan Smidt, CCLC

My sweet Megan!

I have a friend who used me in hopes to gain something better for her daughter through a sport they are both involved in. After realizing that I was not able to offer any more than what she was already receiving, she got angry at me and started speaking badly of me. I am hurt, #1 because she was just using me and had not intention of actually being a friend #2 because of the negative things she has been speaking about me. I want to forgive and move on, but am struggling with complete forgiveness. How do I move on? I need some life coaching!! I need to know what a woman of God would do to resolve & get passed this issue!!
~S

My dear S,

It sounds as if rejection is at the root of this issue and I believe that once you deal with that rejection by healing the wound in your heart, you will be able to move forward.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

All of us are created with three God-given inner needs: for love, significance, and security. Because people fail people, it is essential not to let other people define who you are. Realize that rejection can easily skew your view! Now I realize that there was more to your hurt than the initial rejection of thinking she was a true friend but finding out she was using you…. but please stay with me through this discussion because I believe it will help to talk about rejection as a whole and I promise to bring it together for you at the end! 🙂

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

How do you accept yourself when others reject you?

1. Focus on the facts, not feelings.

First off, you must admit the rejection of the past and acknowledge its pain. Ask God to bring to mind every rejection from your childhood to the present, and then consider the circumstances of each situation. {Yes, we bring past hurts to present situations}. Then, acknowledge the wide range of feelings of rejection you experienced with each past event. Release to God the pain AND the person(s) involved. Ask God to heal the physical, emotional, and spiritual damage caused by each of these painful experiences of rejection.

Lamentations 3:19

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitternessand the gall.

2. Claim God’s acceptance and unconditional love

Confess God’s love for you and all the ways He has shown you His love {like Christ dying for you}. Cite Psalms 139:1-18 and praise God for your life and His divine creation and plan for it. Convey your appreciation to God for His love of you by loving Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Love others as He loves you.

3. Choose to forgive those who rejected you

Consider all the hurt and anger you feel over your rejection. Realize the cost of withholding forgiveness {a bitter spirit building up inside you, which will cause trouble and spread to those around you}. Commit to forgiving those who rejected you just as Christ forgave those who rejected Him (including you). Write down their names, their offenses, and the pain caused you. Then release each person, offense, and pain into the loving hands of God.

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

4. Expect future rejection as natural in a fallen world

Empty yourself of the pride that drives your desire to be accepted by everyone. Since gaining everyone’s approval is impossible, commit yourself to pleasing God. Empathize with others who feel rejected by friends, family, employers, business associates, or anyone else important to them. Embrace the truth that as a believer, you will experience rejection, just as Jesus did. You are not exempt from being rejected in daily life.

1 Peter 4:12

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you,

as though something strange were happening to you.

5. Secure Scripture in your mind to produce new thought patterns

Purpose to renew your mind by selecting meaningful scriptures to read. meditate on, and commit to memory. Plan a specific time each day to read God’s Word and pray. Partner with someone who will hold you accountable for applying God’s truth to your heart.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.

6. Thank God for what you have learned through your rejection

“Thank you, Lord, for using my pain to make me more dependent on you.”
“Thank you, Lord, for using my pain to make me less dependent on people.”
“Thank you, Lord, for using my pain to make me more dependent on Your Word.”

Psalm 119:71

It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.

7. Encourage others as an expression of Christ’s love.

Give compassion to those who are hurting as someone who has been hurt. Lift them in prayer, faithfully praying for them and with them. Ease emotional wounds by embracing those in pain and encouraging them to talk.

Hebrews 3:13

Encourage one another daily

8. Draw on the power of Christ’s life within you

“I will see Christ as my security whenever I feel insecure.”
“I know that I have all I need, for Jesus will meet all my needs.”
“I will daily set aside my selfish desires in favor of His desires, saying ‘Not my will, but Yours, be done.'”

Philippians 4:13

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

While rejection is real and it hurts, we need to make sure that we are keeping our feelings in check as they can be so deceptive. We need to be careful not to take on someone else’s issue as our own and through forgiveness and loving as Christ loves, we free ourselves from hanging on to the yuck that keeps us from moving forward in such circumstances. No it is not easy, but it IS possible as God calls us to this in His Word. Seeking God through such trials and letting Him soothe your deep wounds is the only way to live free and get past the hurt. I pray this guides you though healing and is a blessing to you <3

Lord, give us Your unfailing compassion as we walk through tough relationships and help heal all the places we are hurting. We yearn to not stay stuck, but to get past out hurt and break free for good. Thank You for the guidance we find in Your Word. May You get all the glory as our hearts and relationships are restored, Lord! In Your Son’s matchless name we pray, Amen <3

Blessings,

Coach Megan 🙂

Filed Under: Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan Tagged With: 1 Peter 4:12, affliction, Christian Life Coach, Colossians 3:13, Deuteronomy 31:8, discernment, Encourage, feelings, Forgiveness, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, Glorious Living w/ Coach Megan, god's love, God's power, Hebrews 3:13, hurt, Lamentations 3:19, Megan Smidt, Online Women's Bible Studies, peace, Philippians 4:13, Psalm 119:71, Psalm 34:18, Romans 12:2, thought patterns, unconditional love, unforgiveness

Love is the Home for Both

He’s Alive!