Speak Words of Grace

Words. Boy do women use their words! Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco states in “The Female Brain” that “A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.”  The poor guys can barely get a word in edge wise! But ya know what, I think they prefer it that way. Remember what we learned a few chapters back, men are physical beings. The show their emotions through doing, not talking.

But not us, ladies. We will talk until the cows come home, or at least until we think our point is made, whichever comes first. When it comes to arguing, our words can become mind numbing to our men. After awhile, they just shut down & try to find a retreat! That is why it is important for us to find the right words to convey what we are trying to say. When there is a conflict in your marriage that needs to be discussed, it is wise to discuss it with God first.

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

Ask God to give you the right words to reach your husband, to help him to understand your point of view. Use fewer words and words that hold meaning. Your husband will listen harder and comprehend more if you aren’t droning on and on without ever making a clear point. Just because you are disagreeing on something does not mean you have to use hurtful and insulting words either. Choose words of “faithfulness, loyalty, friendship and honor” like Dineen learned to do. Remember what Dineen’s friend shared with her: The words of his queen make him a king. That has really stuck with me and makes me want to really choose my words wisely. To seek God for his guidance before even pursuing an issue with my husband. I am making James 1:19 my new mantra:

 Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

Receive Grace

Alright, now we know how to speak words of grace to our husbands, but how do you speak to yourself? Are you continually beating yourself up? Telling yourself you aren’t pretty, smart or thin enough? Are you still hanging onto regrets from your past? Well I am here to tell you to stop!

Ladies, let’s address this self-image problem first. God created you to be exactly who you are. You are a woman of God. You are beautiful in his eyes, inside and out. Don’t put down God’s creation!! My nose is a bit large for my face, but I love it because I inherited it from my grandfather. My grandfather has been gone for 11 years, but I still can see him in ME and that gives me great comfort. Can you do that? Can you take one of your “problem areas” and embrace it?

And what about regrets. I’ve had a few… to quote Frank Sinatra. Who hasn’t! None of us are perfect and a lot of our regrets are part of the growing up process. I held onto some regrets for a long time because of my tendency to dwell in guilt. But one day God just shook me up and told me He knew I was going to do those less than pleasing things before I did them. It was all part of my life’s path. Without those regrets, I would have nothing to learn and grow from. God knows you, he knows everything you will do or say before you do it because He has painted your path ahead of you. Ask for His forgiveness and he will give it to you in an instant. But the kicker is, you then have to believe you are forgive and MOVE ON. You can’t keep coming back to it over and over because that is telling God you don’t truly believe you are forgiven. Meditate on this verse for help:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Repent and believe he has restored you. You are now a new body in Christ and He has such great things planned for you!

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Life and death is by the tongue. Help us to learn this lesson and take hold of its meaning. Put a guard on our tongues and a filter in our minds before we speak so that every word coming from our mouth is one that is pleasing and affirming to you. We love you, Lord and want to speak only the words that are sweet to your ears. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Your Assignment:

One word I have deleted from my vocabulary is “hate”. I no longer say things such as “I hate my thighs” or “I hate so & so”. That word has always been a strong and mean word to me and I just don’t want to put it out into the world. What are some words you can delete from your vocabulary?

In our house we do not say “I can’t.” We can always try our best, but we will never start off by saying “I can’t.”  What are some words you can delete from your marriage?

Godspeed,

Sarah

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!