November 5, 2024

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Conviction – Wedding Day Chains

November 29, 2012 by

 

Today, I want to introduce you to Carissa Markantone.  Carissa will be blogging for you every Thursday, for our Singles Ministry.  I am extremely excited to have Carissa join us!   — Christi Wilson

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He asked. She said yes.  But in the back of her mind, something wasn’t right.  To be honest, something wasn’t right way before he asked.  But she ignored it.  After all, she’d seen his progress.  He was actually going to church now, he was leading prayer before each meal, he was reading his Bible on a … weekly basis.  That has to count for something, right?  She’d convinced herself that his “progress” was good enough.  Good enough to put a ring on it.

Three weeks later, she took the ring off.  And with tears streaming down her face, she gave it back.  Oh, and did I tell you? That woman…was me.

I’d love to tell you that since then, I’ve changed my ways.  I’d love to tell you that I haven’t been out on a date with a non-believer or lukewarm Christian ever since my broken engagement.  But I can’t because that would be a lie.  As our authors point out, I’ve definitely justified a date or two “in the guise of being a witness for Jesus.”

When you think of a missionary dater, what does she look like? My imagination runs wild with some Bible-banging woman speaking about Jesus with every other sentence.  In reality, this isn’t the case.  Missionary dating looks just like normal dating.  I think of Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar.”  What does Ms. Poppins do when the children don’t want to take their yucky medicine?  Why, she simply adds a spoonful of sugar! What does the missionary dater do when her man doesn’t want to include Jesus in his life?  When he doesn’t want to pray, read his Bible, or go to church?  Why, she simply adds romance (the spoonful of sugar) to help that yucky medicine go down!

Have you ever caught yourself justifying a relationship or a date that wasn’t God-centered as I have?  Missionary dating begins as a condition of the heart.  We’ve discussed motives a lot in this study, but the missionary dating motive is a dangerous one because it intertwines both emotional and spiritual intimacy with someone of the opposite sex.  Once those intimate bonds are formed, they are hard to break. In fact, only God can break them. So avoid creating those bonds with non-believers or even those with superficial faith.  If a man isn’t encouraging you to grow and isn’t challenging you in your own walk with the Lord, then he isn’t God’s best! Proverbs 4:23. Guard your hearts, ladies!

“You must set a higher standard and resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.”

So what does “growing in his intimacy with Christ” look like? I’d like to draw on the commonly quoted distinction –it’s more than religion; it’s a relationship.  Relationships require a desire for commitment, a devotion of time, and a consistent communication.  Does the man you’re interested in display these characteristics?  Did he prior to meeting you? Ladies, it’s more than attending church every week.  It’s more than saying a prayer before each meal.  And it’s certainly more than a coerced time spent with God every week.  He must want God.  He must want God more than he wants you.  Wow, that’s powerful.  He must want a relationship with Jesus more than he wants a relationship with you.

Regardless of your relationship status right now, let’s meditate on Ephesians 6:18:  “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (NIV) So, ladies, pray in the Spirit.  Submit your hearts and minds to the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, and then pray in His power. Let Him lead you, and listen to Him and only Him.  Put aside your good intentions, and let God take the reins.

God bless,

Carissa

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Let’s Pray:
Father God, we thank you for Your awesome power.  Father, that You and only You have the power to change the hearts of men.  Help us surrender our own will and our good intentions to You.  Father, give us patience for Your timing, trust in Your plans, and hope for the future You have in store for us.  While we wait, Father, let us live for You and You alone.  Let us be a light to a lost world by living for You each day.    Thank you, Jesus, for your unfailing love and grace.  In your Holy Name we pray, Amen.

Your Assignment:
These questions are loaded, so be prepared!

What is the problem with dating guys who are good, but who are not Christians? What is the difference between a good man who goes to church and a growing Christian man?  What difference would it make in marriage?
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage, which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Carissa Markantone joins us from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she’s lived nearly all of her 25 years.

Carissa was saved at the age of 5, but recently rededicated her life to Christ a little more than a year ago.  She has a huge heart for serving others, especially children with terminal illnesses.

Carissa desires to live every day for her King, striving for more of Him and less of her with each waking day.  Outside of her analyst duties at a major sporting goods retailer, Carissa enjoys spending her time with friends and family, reading, writing, working out, and singing praises to her Savior at the top of her lungs (the neighbors haven’t complained…yet)!

Carissa desires for every woman to know her worth through the eyes of God.  Her motto for 2012 (which will definitely carry to 2013) is “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.”  God doesn’t call us to an easy life.  Living for Him is hard, but it will be so worth it once we get Home!

Girlfriends Coffee Hour is very excited to add Carissa to our Singles blogging team!.  She has been an active participant in our Singles Ministry, and has been such a joy!  God is doing great things in her life!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9/ Day 4 – Peer Relationships are Difficult

November 29, 2012 by

 

Peer Relationships are Difficult

I was always the type of girl who stayed to myself, until I got grown. I was a very shy young lady :-/ It wasn’t that I didn’t want friends, because I had them; it was just that my friendship circle was small. I valued my friendships, but like I said before, I was shy and wasn’t comfortable being around a lot of people. I don’t know, maybe some of you are like that too. I can’t say that I was a social butterfly like my two sisters were, and are, but I had some friends who were very close and dear to my heart.

Whenever you are in any kind of relationship, it has its potential of being difficult at any given time. You can be so close to someone that it can get to a point where maybe some of the things that they have always said or did, may begin to bother you, or get under your skin. We are being honest…right? Well, for me, that is true. I am the type of person that when I am bothered by something, I would never say anything about what bothered me, and girls, that is so not good! Learn from me!!! If something is bothering you about someone, go to them. It will be hard, and yes, you all have heard me say this before, but it will be beneficial to your relationships and friendships.

I can hear God saying…  “Is anything too hard for Me? NO! Nothing is EVER too hard for Me!!!”

Peer relationships can be difficult because these are the people that you possibly spend as much time with, as you do your own family, so that means that you are so close to these people that sometimes you can get on each other’s nerves, but that is okay.  Love each other enough to always make amends.  Anytime that you are really close to someone, small problems will happen from time to time…arguing, being upset with each other, etc…

Peers that you may not be so close to…you know…the ones that may pick at you or get on your nerves, all I can say is do what I KNOW works…pray, pray, pray for them! God will handle those types of peer relationships as well.

 

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord thank You for the girls that You have placed in GCH: Decaf. Help them to remember that You love them oh so much and that You want what is best for them. When they start to feel like the relationships that they are in become too stressful for them, remind them to gently come to You and place those relationships at Your feet and You will take care of them. I seal this prayer with the name of Your precious Son Jesus. Amen.

Love,

Tonya

 

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Winning Him Without Words: The Helmet of Salvation – The Sword of the Spirit – Don’t be a Martyr be a Missionary!

November 28, 2012 by

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

As I was reading these parts of the chapter today, a song came to mind:

“Put on the garment of praise

for the spirit of heaviness

lift up your voice to God

Praise with the Spirit

and with understanding

O magnify the Lord!”

I find that music will lift me up and put me in the right frame of mind when I’m battling something. It also blocks out thoughts that the enemy puts in my head by replacing them with scripture to build me up. It reminds me who always wins the battle!

Our thoughts can be a real battle for us at times. I know I’m guilty of this. A thought creeps in and I go with it instead of giving it to God. When we do this, the enemy can fly! Then one thought leads to another, invading our mind, and before you know it, we’re having our own little pity party! Why am I in this marriage with an unsaved husband? Why do I have to be Christs representative to this man? I’m not equipped to handle this! I’m not spiritual enough, I’m not good enough! Sound familiar?

That’s why it’s so important to put on the Helmet of Salvation and take up the Sword of the Spirit on a very regular basis. The Helmet and the Sword are our protection from ungodly thoughts that we let enter our minds. We do choose to let them in, because we have the power to reject them immediately by equipping ourselves. We need the Armor everyday in order to face the battle, and the liar,  head on! Letting these thoughts come in says we are in control. We become martyrs for the cause! But we don’t need to live like this!  God’s got this for us if we only put that Armor on and yield it to Him. And we can, just by asking.

Can you imagine our Bible heroes saying in defeat; “I can’t do this”?  How about Daniel, when they said he must bow? He followed his God and put on his armor and went into the battle equipped.  How about Esther? She also followed what she felt God was telling her to do. She fasted and prayed and said “if I perish, I perish”!  How about the ULTIMATE sacrifice? Christ, when he went to the cross? He went into the garden to pray first-to put on his Armor. He told the Father, “not my will but yours be done”  then he followed through with the plan of Salvation for us all!

I believe all of these were examples to us, they set a pattern for us. Especially Christ, who was God and didn’t have to, but He prayed first, putting on the Armor for the battle ahead of Him. He had the power to say no and not go through with his crucifixion, but he gave it all up for us.

I agree with Dineen when she says ” the key is to change our perception and quit seeing ourselves as martyrs in our marriage, but instead put on the label of missionaries” We are not alone. We can help each other stand in the gap when someone goes down, or we can fight the battle on our own. But first, and foremost, we must remember to put on that Armor everyday and not go into the battle unprotected.

It’s our choice, get up and put on the Armor and start fighting for our husbands until God intervenes and saves him or go into the battle unprepared and unprotected and feel like all is lost. I choose the winning side, I choose to fully equip myself with the weapons of mass destruction that the Lord has provided for me, if only I ask.

Here I am, Lord, asking………

God bless,

Donna

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Lets pray:

Lord we choose the full armor of you for our battles today. You promised that you’d be there with us when we ask. Clothe us with your armor for the battle for the glory of winning our husbands for you! Thank you Lord for providing this for us.  In Jesus name we pray-Amen

Your Assignment:

What is holding you back from putting on that armor every day? Let’s name them and then pray for each other, that we can rid ourselves of these hindrances and be victorious in our battles.

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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 5 – You Can Enjoy Being Single

November 23, 2012 by

 

Growing up in the South, it meant that teenage girls were supposed to have a boyfriend and be ready for marriage by the time you were out of high school. If you didn’t then you were expected to find a job and maybe find a future husband there or at college, if you could afford to go. That was a lot of pressure for a young woman, who may not have the self confidence she needs to be in a healthy relationship.

Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians said it is better for you to be single, so you could be about the Lord’s work, than if you were married, because being married would be a distraction. So by reading 1 Corinthians 7:32 would you say that you could still serve the Lord if you were dating someone? I know it would be hard, unless he was as dedicated to serving as you would be.

Waiting for God’s best may not be easy, but it is so worth it. He may not want you to be married. He may want you to be a missionary that travels around the world telling others of His love for them.  He may want you to get married in your forties. Whatever God’s plan is for you life, make sure you are praying for clarity and not what you want. Ask him to give you a peace and comfort while you kneel before our heavenly Father and give him your heart and let him bring you his best.

Let’s pray,

Father, I want to do my best is serving you. Show me how I need to do this in order to bring blessings and honor to my life and glory to yours. Thank you for what you do for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 1 – You Can Choose the Right Guy to Date

November 19, 2012 by

When I was younger I liked guys all of the time, but I never dated any of them.  In fact they never knew I liked them and it was ok because they never liked me.  Anytime I would talk about guys and my dad would over hear he would say, “Is he a Christian?”  I used to get so annoyed with my dad for throwing in that comment any time I would talk about something as simple as a crush on the cute guy with a pretty smile in my math class.  Only after I started dating someone who was most certainly not a Christian did I wish I would have listened to the advice my dad had given me on dating years prior.

As a teenager it is so hard to truly want to listen to your parents.  You hear what they say, but you want to figure things out for your own.  You want to take risks; they want to stop you from that type of behavior.  You want to try new things; they want to tell you not to because they have been there done that and you just should not be doing certain things.  Even though we cannot see it at the time, our parents are stopping us from things because they love us.  They do not want to see us make mistakes.  I know I wish I would have listened to my parents more than I did.

I know the feeling you get when you find out a guy likes you.  I know how good attention from guys can feel.  There is one feeling that is way beyond what those ones may feel like: the love God has for you.  Do you know how good that feels?  If you do not know, I highly suggest that you spend some time getting to know God so you can find out first hand just how amazing it is!  When we truly know God’s love for us, it will make us want to find the man God has for us and not settle for any guy that thinks we are pretty or who gives us attention from time to time.

Have you ever thought about what you want in a man?  Have you ever thought about what a relationship should be like?  Try writing down a list of qualities that you would like in a man.  (See page 105 and 2 Corinthians 7:1)Keep that list and pray about it to God.  When you are in a relationship ask yourself, honestly, does this relationship bring you closer to God or pull you away from Him?  If you hold out for a man who has the qualities you have been praying for- chances are you will grow closer and closer to God together!  Any relationship that brings you closer to God is definitely a good one to have.

Personally, I struggled with dating.  I never thought that there were men out there that would be what I wanted (someone who loves God, goes to church, reads the Bible, is kind to others, and will love me as Christ wants someone to love me).  So, as my high school years came and gone, I decided that I needed to change my standards.  I ended up settling for an older man who was not a Christian.  GIRLS, this was the biggest mistake I have ever made.  I ended up stuck in an abusive relationship.  I KNOW now that waiting for the man God has for us-a good guy who is devoted to God will come our way!  God will bring you together in His timing.  It is so important to hold out for that man.  And the best part is while you wait-you have the opportunity to grow closer to God and experience so much of the perfect love He has for you!

Please remember that you are not defined by what guys say or by how they make you feel, if you are getting attention from them, or getting no attention at all.  The only thing you are defined by is the love Jesus has for YOU!  You have the privilege to CHOOSE the man you go on a date with.  Make sure you make God apart of your choosing process.  Praying to Him to lead you to the right man will save you from heartache and the pain of dating the wrong one!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you so much that you love us with unconditional love that no man will ever be able to replace.  I love that you have handpicked a man for us if that is your will in our lives.  I pray that these girls and I are able to hold out for this man.  I pray that we never settle for less than the best you have for us.  As these girls start to date, I pray that they choose wisely the men they bring into their lives.  May they seek you in each decision they make.  We love you so much and thank you for guarding our hearts.  AMEN!

Much Love to YOU all,

Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 8: Dating With Discretion

November 18, 2012 by

 Proverbs 2:11-12

Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you…

A few words from Megan…

My dear friends….. PLEASE, please, please listen carefully to the lessons from this week in our book A Daughter’s Worth. This week is all about exploring the rewards and responsibilities of letting God be your matchmaker….. and accepting God’s plan for your life!

I know there is so much pressure in your day-to-day lives from friends and the media telling you that you MUST have a boyfriend. I can understand you WANTING one… I wanted one too, when I was your age. I wanted one so badly (because all of my friends had them and I felt left out…) that I didn’t make the best choices in dating. As an adult, I am still dealing with the insecurities that came from those relationships, too. I was too impatient and was not willing to hold out for what GOD had for me, and I pray that through studying God’s Word this week, you will be EMPOWERED by all of the things you CAN DO through God’s supernatural strength in dating.

This week, we will explore how….

  • You CAN choose the right guy to date
  • You CAN insist that boys treat you well
  • You CAN go too far
  • You CAN handle a difficult break-up
  • You CAN enjoy being single

…And on Saturday, we will continue with Coleen’s series: Lord Teach Us To Pray: Part 9

A few words from Morgan…..

Hey girls… hope you are having a good week! This week is all about boys and relationships, which I have never done! I’ve never had a boyfriend but I have learned that God has such an AMAZING guy out there for you and that at the right time, He will reveal him and show you who you are supposed to be with. This week we will also talk about how you shouldn’t settle for less! You are a princess in Christ and you should find a man of God that will treat you like that and nothing less, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t ever lower your standards or not insist that you are treated right. So, I just want to do a prayer for this week that is along the lines of what I pray constantly. It has helped me just be content with being single.

 Let’s Pray:

Dear God, thank you for the man of God that You have planned out for me and that You have found for me, God I just pray that You will give him strength to wait out for me, and if not, I will always love the same. God, give him comfort, and God please give me comfort. I pray that you will help me not settle for less, and wait it out for the right guy that You have for me. Thank you so much, I love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

It’s just a simple little prayer, and even shorter at times, that I pray for my husband because I already know that I will love him so much. God has a plan, girls!

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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Lady In Waiting: Quitting the Hunt

November 16, 2012 by

Do you absolutely love this book yet??  I love it even more the second time around!  There is just page after page of truth, encouragement, and love.  The words I have searched for…there they are written on the page so matter of fact-ly.  With Jesus first and my boyfriend second, I will have lasting peace and security.  I absolutely love the wisdom behind each one of Debby’s words.  You may think this quote does not work for you because you do not have a boyfriend so there is no possible way you can be putting a boyfriend first before God, you are all good.  That is so WRONG!  For me, I do not have a boyfriend, but I can so easily see how I put the hunt for my boyfriend and eventually husband way above Jesus.

When we do this it may seem harmless, or impossible to stop.  There is something so important about truly putting God first: you receive his lasting peace and security.  Maybe if we have been feeling insecure lately, we can look at where we are finding our security.  Chasing after men will never lead to security or peace.  Those gifts from above are only available when we surrender the hunt to God and start chasing after all HE has for us!

Reading through Debby’s journal entries I felt quite convicted.  I have so gotten to that point in my life where all I could do was pick up the pieces of my broken heart and hand them over piece by piece to My Perfect Healer.  I too, have asked Jesus to keep my heart safe, guard it, keep the key, and give it to only the one who He has for me.  I made a pact with God that I would seek HIM first and when a man came along I would pray to Him alone to see if this would be the man to hold the key to my heart one day.  I was doing so well with this until I was about to turn 24.

The closer and closer it got to my 24th birthday the further and further I got away from that perfect security God had given me.  I wanted to be married by the time I was 25…there was no way now that this was going to happen because I am single at 24.  We all have our ideal futures, don’t we?  Please, tell me I am not the only one that had an idea of how they were going to meet their husband, how they were going to start dating, how he would propose, how they would be happy and married one day: sooner rather than later.    Has your ideal future ever come true?  I am here to tell you, unless your ideal future is completely in line with God’s future for you; it is never coming true.  You can stop wishing and hoping for something so miniscule compared to what God has for you: THE BEST YOU NEED.

Just so happens instead of a man, this study came into my life right after my 24th birthday.  This study has truly helped me through a struggle: a struggle of putting the hunt for my non-existent boyfriend over God.  This study was what I needed and what you need and God knew that!

This study is instrumental in keeping my focus on God and not on my husband.  It has helped me seek God more often.  It has helped me to find support from other ladies that are struggling with the same exact thing as me.  It has brought me closer to God.  It has made me realize that my ideal future is NOTHING compared to the ACTUAL future God has for me.  I am on a mission to embrace HIS future.  Where is your mission leading you: to YOUR ACTUAL ALMIGHTY GOD or to your ideal man you thought of one lonely night?

I want you to understand something as I write this to you ladies.  The reason I feel convicted is because I may have given God my heart, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to get it back from Him on several occasions.  It does not mean I do not struggle with being single and 24!!!  There is one image I see daily that almost always is a struggle to see.  A man and a woman holding hands walking together, sometimes her head is rested on his shoulder, but it doesn’t have to be just the hands in one gets me.  You see I have always wanted to hold hands with a man-my man.  When I see others doing what I want so badly to do I instantly think, “Lord, why can’t I have a man holding my hand as I walk down the street?  I am learning that I can have that man but I can also have the man God has for me.  I am waiting oh so patiently for the man who will one day be holding my hand in one and the key to my heart in the other.  As a lady in waiting I pray that YOU do the same.

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Let us Pray:  Lord, thank you that you give us so many blessings on a daily basis.  Thank you for your blessing of security that we find in you alone.  I pray that each and every one of us will be able to put down the ideal man and chase after receiving your many blessings.  I pray that we are able to support each other along our journey.  I thank you and praise you for bringing this group together.  I pray that you help all of us to be patient, waiting for your perfect timing in our lives.  We love you so incredibly much, Amen!

Your Assignment:  Please share with us-What is ONE THING you have learned/ gained from this study thus far?  What is the ONE thing that you see from couples that you struggle with on your journey as a lady in waiting?  In your quiet time-Pray to God, be honest with Him.  If you are ready give Him your heart.  If you are ready make a pact with Him about what you are going to do or not do to make sure God is put first, always.

Much love to you ladies,

Diane

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

November 15, 2012 by

“The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

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Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 3 – Parents Make Mistakes

November 14, 2012 by

“For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. Yep, this means our parents, too. Most of you teens are still at the age where your parents provide clothes, food, a house, etc. for you. This is part of their calling, but I think we place them on a pedestal because of it.

 

We have to remember that they are human, too. They were once children, dependent on their parents. This means that they may forget some things. It means they may not always react to your behavior in a kind way. It means you will not always see eye to eye. Parents make mistakes. You make mistakes, too.

 

How would it make you feel if your parents didn’t forgive you after you messed up? Your parents probably feel the same way when you don’t forgive them. Showing them grace, understanding that they are human, honoring their decisions will change your relationship with them.

 

Let’s pray-

Lord, thank You for our parents! Forgive us, Lord, when we do not show them the grace You have shown us. Remind us that they are human. Remind us that they are becoming more like You every day. Give us a pure heart that loves them unconditionally. Amen

 

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 2 – Children Must Obey

November 13, 2012 by

I have to admit something.  I was born with a rebellious spirit.  Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older.  I am the firstborn.  I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all.  They could have those boys back!!!  I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers.  (sigh)  Mom said, “Go help your brother” and you KNOW what was going on in my mind.  (No need to put those words here)  You know what they were.  If they broke something, I got in trouble.  If they cried, I got yelled at.  Can you believe I still remember that stuff?  It really doesn’t matter anymore.  We are all grown-ups with families of our own.  But still, Mom said help and I helped.

I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer.  Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer?  I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list.  I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license.  I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM.  Somehow things never worked out the way I planned.  I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car.  I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it.  Hmmm.  Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should?  Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?

Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this:  discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors????  Who’d a thunk it???  When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do.  I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to.  A mom they could talk to and ask questions of.  I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.

My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9.  It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me.  I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.

So I tried to do everything RIGHT with my girls.  I tried to answer all their questions; even the hard ones.  I took them to church, taught them to serve and then one day my oldest daughter went off to college.  We sent her off to discover life for herself, with godly discipline and character behind her.  And then…we were disappointed.  There is a reason Solomon tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”  Even though I had taught my daughter the best way I knew how, she had to learn life lessons on her own.  I had to love her enough to let her learn the hard way.  I asked her if she would like to share some things she learned during that time in her life.  Her name is Michele and she will be 23 in December.  Here is what she had to share with you guys:

I think I was a little different than most teenagers.  Starting at 13, I understood my parents reasoning behind the rules, and that probably saved my life.  Most teens go through a phase where they feel like their parents don’t know anything about the teenager’s life and what they’re going through, so they must not know what they’re talking about.  As a result, they’ll stray a bit and rebel against their parents rules, maybe go to church less often or not at all.  My time of rebellion was once I graduated high school and moved away to college.  Because I was insistent on doing my own thing and thinking I knew best, God was not at the top of my priority list.  I hardly ever thought about Him or asked his opinion.  When my parents asked if I was going to church on the weekends, my excuse was “I don’t have time.”  Of course I didn’t have time, because I didn’t make time.  You make time for things that are important to you.

Ok, so about obeying your parents…you obey because God has commanded you to.  In fact, the first commandment in the bible with a promise attached to it is Exodus 20:12.  “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  Sounds to me like that’s kind of important.

If your parents are Christians, you obey them knowing they are striving to teach you what is right and want the best for you.  No parent is perfect, just like no teenager is perfect.  The way to deal with that is to LOVE.  This is my biggest thing lately.  Love your parents enough to see their intentions and forgive them when they make the wrong choice in how to deal with something.

If your parents are not Christians, there is always a chance that the way they are leading is not in line with God’s law.  What do you do then?  Just blow them off and have a bad attitude, treating them like they’re stupid?  NO!  According to Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to authority.  In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says your first priority/responsibility is to love God with everything in you.  So, God’s commands are MOST important.  And the second is to love others as yourself (or as God loves you).  The key to obeying the rules, laws, and commandments is to Love God and Love People.

If your parents are asking you to do something you believe is wrong, you still must respect and honor them, but you CAN tell them how you feel.  If you are following God and respectfully informing your parents that you do not agree and don’t feel comfortable doing what they have asked.  If you are in line with the Bible, then you have fulfilled your responsibilities.  But you must ALWAYS respect authority.

<3 Michele Bolme<3

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!  So when Solomon said that if I taught my daughter right, gave her discipline and showed her how to live like Jesus, then one day when she walked away to do her own thing, she WOULD return to God because she LOVES HIM.  I am one thankful Mom.  Now only 7 more daughters to go. (sigh, sigh and sigh some more)

Much love to you all……………………  Mama T

Pray with Me:

Heavenly Father, we know you love us and that you discipline us because you love us.  We thank you for loving us enough to give us parents who want us to grow up with a good character and a love for YOU and for other people.  Please forgive us when we get distracted and don’t put you first.  Keep loving us until we come back to you.  Father, I pray for each heart reading this blog today.  Make their hearts soft and ready to serve you.  We love you Abba, Father.  Amen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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