I’m torn between myself and Your Truth
These cursed memories, forever seeping through
My thirst for myself left me wanting more
‘Til I found myself facedown on Your shore
You say, Come to the river
Oh, and lay yourself down and let your heart be found
You say, Come to the river
Drink from the cup I pour and thirst no more
My restless heart led me astray
To my selfish pride I became my own slave
But You placed a thirst in me with no drink in sight
‘Cause I could not see ‘til I saw through Your eyes
Songwriters: Allen Salmon, Rhett Walker Canipe / Performed by Rhett Walker Band
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Have you ever been caught in this place? “Torn between yourself and His Truth”? I know I have….
This song has such powerful Truth in it. A restless heart can lead you astray and to selfish pride you will become your own slave. WOW!!! Powerful words to consider…. Let’s see what God says about pride.
The pride of your heart has deceived you,
you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights,
you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’
Obadiah 1:3
A prideful heart leads to a restless heart where you can be lost to yourself. When my heart is restless I must come to the river and drink from the cup of living water where I will thirst no more.
I love how this excerpt from this woman’s website describes God’s love penetrating a restless heart. She writes:
“That’s the Trust He’s asking of me, to let His love, as deep and endless as the ocean, to hold me up, to let the wellspring of His heart meet my deepest needs.”
(http://www.arestlessheart.com/)
This is the very trust that God is asking of you and of me, too. That the “wellspring of God’s heart will meet my deepest need.” Once we know and embrace the love of the Father towards us we can then be satisfied in our deepest needs and we will thirst no more.
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.
It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.
John 4:14 NLT
God is calling us to come and drink from the endless river where we will thirst no more and let Him fill us up. So many times in life we try and fill up those empty places with other things that will never satisfy us. They aren’t meant to…only God can fill the empty places of the heart until we are completely satisfied. Will you let Him? The choice is ours. He is waiting with open arms for us to take the first step. So He can tell His daughters how precious and valuable we are to Him.
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Heavenly Father, may my restless heart never lead me astray to where I become my own slave. May I choose to drink of the Living Water where I will thirst no more. In Jesus’ name!! Amen!!
Esther – Chapter 5:9
“Haman was a happy man as he left the banquet” (Esther 5:9a, NLT). His seemingly ever- increasing power starting from his promotion (chapter 3:1 and 2) to King Xerxes giving him his signet ring and carte blanche to do what he wanted with this “certain people” (chapter 3:10 and 11) to this intimate banquet with the king and queen (here in chapter 5:4 and 5), was feeding Haman’s pride big time. Not only that but Queen Esther had invited him to a second banquet! His hat didn’t fit his big head anymore, and his buttons were popping off his cloak from his puffed out chest as he walked out the king’s gate to go home for the night! Can you hear his evil cackle? Oh, I don’t like this guy!
“But when he saw Mordecai sitting at the palace gate, not standing up or trembling nervously before him, Haman became furious” (Esther 5:9b). We already know from Esther chapter 3, that Haman planned to destroy Mordecai and all the Jews. Now, when he saw Mordecai sitting there so peacefully with no regard for him at all, Haman almost exploded on the inside with indescribable hatred.
Mordecai “stood” his ground by sitting when Haman walked by. Mordecai knew Who he had to ultimately answer to, and it wasn’t Haman. Mordecai had full confidence in the Lord’s provision and protection. Confidence in God and the humility of obedience and submission to Him gave Mordecai a calm and peaceful presence that was like acid eating away at Haman. (Compare the similarities when Jesus “stood His ground” in His last hours, Matthew 26-27.)
Haman was so full of himself that he couldn’t see that his pedestal of pride had no foundation. One day it would come crashing down around him. As Matthew Henry’s Commentary would describe him: he is a self-admirer, a self-deceiver. Doesn’t he sound like someone else we know? Isaiah 14:13-14, “For you (Satan) say to yourself, ‘I will ascend to heaven and set my throne about God’s stars…and be like the Most High.’” Satan’s plan is for the destruction of God’s creation. His pride is so great and his rage against God is so consuming that he intends to kill and destroy (John 10:10) everyone he can. But he has no foundation of truth. He has built his plan on pride and hatred. He and his plan will fall. Isaiah 14:15, “Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead, down to its lowest depths.”
Matthew Henry’s Commentary also says: “A slight affront, which a humble man would scarcely notice, will torment a proud man , even to madness, and will mar all his comforts.” Haman was tormented by Mordecai’s affront, his intentional defiance. I believe Satan is tormented by our affronts when we stand against him and his evil plan to destroy us and our families.
We have two life examples to look at here. We have Haman who lived a very self-centered and prideful life. He deceived himself and he deceived others, especially the king, for very selfish motives. Then we have Mordecai, who was a humble man of faith and confidence. His motives were selfless as day after day he watched over and wisely advised Esther, even to the extent of sitting at the gate when “trouble” walked by.
Today we have the opportunity to check our motives for what we do and what we say. If our motives are based on feeding our pride and obtaining power over a person or a situation, we are self-deceived and insecure. If a small offense eats away at us, we will want to check our lives for underlying pride. A life controlled by pride will lead us to “destruction,” as we read in Proverbs 16:18.
If our motives are directed by our faith in God, then we will live selfless lives of submission and service. We will not be easily offended, and will forgive quickly. We will stand in humble confidence and peace, even as we “sit by the gate” when trouble tries to destroy us. (Ephesians 6:13.) We will have an inner assurance that God will show Himself mighty to save.
Who does your life look most like…Haman or Mordecai? Is it one of pride, torment, insecurity, fear, and eventual destruction? Or is it one of humility, peace, confidence, faith, and life? Today is your day to choose “life and have it to the full.”
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Let’s Pray:
Dear Lord, we come humbly to Your throne of grace today. Even at this moment we are searching our innermost beings for areas of pride and deception. Help us, Holy Spirit, to find them so we can repent and allow You to cleanse us. We want our motives to be pure and selfless. Please help us to not be easily offended and to quickly forgive. May each of us live a life of humility, peace, confidence, and faith. Thank You for offering us life to the full! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.