November 5, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 1 – You Can Choose the Right Guy to Date

November 19, 2012 by

When I was younger I liked guys all of the time, but I never dated any of them.  In fact they never knew I liked them and it was ok because they never liked me.  Anytime I would talk about guys and my dad would over hear he would say, “Is he a Christian?”  I used to get so annoyed with my dad for throwing in that comment any time I would talk about something as simple as a crush on the cute guy with a pretty smile in my math class.  Only after I started dating someone who was most certainly not a Christian did I wish I would have listened to the advice my dad had given me on dating years prior.

As a teenager it is so hard to truly want to listen to your parents.  You hear what they say, but you want to figure things out for your own.  You want to take risks; they want to stop you from that type of behavior.  You want to try new things; they want to tell you not to because they have been there done that and you just should not be doing certain things.  Even though we cannot see it at the time, our parents are stopping us from things because they love us.  They do not want to see us make mistakes.  I know I wish I would have listened to my parents more than I did.

I know the feeling you get when you find out a guy likes you.  I know how good attention from guys can feel.  There is one feeling that is way beyond what those ones may feel like: the love God has for you.  Do you know how good that feels?  If you do not know, I highly suggest that you spend some time getting to know God so you can find out first hand just how amazing it is!  When we truly know God’s love for us, it will make us want to find the man God has for us and not settle for any guy that thinks we are pretty or who gives us attention from time to time.

Have you ever thought about what you want in a man?  Have you ever thought about what a relationship should be like?  Try writing down a list of qualities that you would like in a man.  (See page 105 and 2 Corinthians 7:1)Keep that list and pray about it to God.  When you are in a relationship ask yourself, honestly, does this relationship bring you closer to God or pull you away from Him?  If you hold out for a man who has the qualities you have been praying for- chances are you will grow closer and closer to God together!  Any relationship that brings you closer to God is definitely a good one to have.

Personally, I struggled with dating.  I never thought that there were men out there that would be what I wanted (someone who loves God, goes to church, reads the Bible, is kind to others, and will love me as Christ wants someone to love me).  So, as my high school years came and gone, I decided that I needed to change my standards.  I ended up settling for an older man who was not a Christian.  GIRLS, this was the biggest mistake I have ever made.  I ended up stuck in an abusive relationship.  I KNOW now that waiting for the man God has for us-a good guy who is devoted to God will come our way!  God will bring you together in His timing.  It is so important to hold out for that man.  And the best part is while you wait-you have the opportunity to grow closer to God and experience so much of the perfect love He has for you!

Please remember that you are not defined by what guys say or by how they make you feel, if you are getting attention from them, or getting no attention at all.  The only thing you are defined by is the love Jesus has for YOU!  You have the privilege to CHOOSE the man you go on a date with.  Make sure you make God apart of your choosing process.  Praying to Him to lead you to the right man will save you from heartache and the pain of dating the wrong one!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you so much that you love us with unconditional love that no man will ever be able to replace.  I love that you have handpicked a man for us if that is your will in our lives.  I pray that these girls and I are able to hold out for this man.  I pray that we never settle for less than the best you have for us.  As these girls start to date, I pray that they choose wisely the men they bring into their lives.  May they seek you in each decision they make.  We love you so much and thank you for guarding our hearts.  AMEN!

Much Love to YOU all,

Diane

********************************************

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 7/ Day 5: Families Bless Us

November 16, 2012 by

Proverbs 17:6

Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Ok girls, how many of you grew up in the perfect family where everyone is always happy and smiling? Where no one is trying to put the blame on somebody else and mom and dad never exchange dirty looks or utter harsh words? I wish I could put my hand up and say that I grew up in the perfect family, but that would be a lie!

I am one of 5 children, I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. My mom has been married 3 times and all 3 husbands passed away. When my mom was 6 months pregnant with me, my dad, her 2nd husband was hit by a train. I was about 2 years old when she married again and about 4 when my baby brother was born.

I remember being extremely jealous of the new addition to our family because he had someone to call dad. But what an amazing man my step dad was. Even though he had his very own son, he still treated the 4 of us as his own. He put the 4 of through college, and when my brother was in his senior year in high school, my step dad passed away and the 4 of us stepped up and was able to pay my baby brother’s college tuition.

Things might not always be the way we want them to be, but when we think back on everything that has happened in our lives , we can see how God and our families have blessed us.

Our parents might work on our nerves at times, they might fail and dissapoint us, they might give us advice that we think we don’t need because we know it all. But just think back on who was there to hold your hand when you did not feel well, who made you cookies when that guy dumped you, or who paid for that outfit that you really, really wanted. We might not always agree with everything they say and do, but our families are a blessing.

Be blessed!

Edwina

Let us pray:

Father God, today we want to thank you for our families. Although we do not always get along, we want to thank you for each one of them. I pray that in tough situations we will come to You, knowing that You know best and will guide us in the right direction. Amen.

________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth – Week 7: Treasuring the Family

November 11, 2012 by

 

Ephesians 3:14-17

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

Some thoughts from Megan…

Growing up, I considered myself to be the “black sheep” of my family. My brother was adopted, but I always felt like I was really the adopted one because I felt I had so little in common with my family. They all had similar beliefs, personalities and tastes… and then there was me 🙂 As I got older, I realized that this was God’s divine plan! If we were all the same and had everything in common, I could imaging that my family would get pretty dull and boring. My family helped me see that because of my different likes, passions and dreams, I helped open their eyes to things they never would have known about! THAT is the beauty of how God divinely designs our relationships!

As an adult, my family is more unlikely that I ever could have dreamed! God divinely brought me five kids to love and a wonderful husband. Our family is not “easy” by any means, but we are unique and so full of love! God is the only way we could have been brought together and even though we have unique challenges, I know God shines through to all the hearts who get to know us.

I can’t wait to dive into these topics with you this week and get to know your family better!

Monday: Families Sometimes Struggle

Tuesday: Children Must Obey

Wednesday: Parents Make Mistakes

Thursday: Sibling Relationship are Complicated

Friday: Families Bless Us

Saturday: Lord Teach Us To Pray: Part 8

A Few words from Morgan….

Hey girls, how is everybody?! Last week was such a good week about having good friends! This week it’s all about learning about how to treasure our family. I know this can be tough, but they will always be there for you and have a love nobody else can replace! Your parents want to help you make the best choices and help you live your life to the fullest. I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like that but it is tough sometimes and we have to just trust our parents because they have a lot of wisdom!

We will also talk about our relationship with siblings and I know its sometimes so hard to get along with them, but they will always be your best friend and be there for you. God gave us all a loving family that will bless us in the long run. God always wants the best for you and so do your parents! Hope you have a great week!

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for so lovingly placing us with our families. We know that you have purpose for every single life in our lineage and we praise you for it. Some people in our family we might get along with better than others, but we recognize and thank you for every single person we have in our family because we know you have a reason for it all. Help us be a light to our family members and love them with your unconditional love. Show us this week if there are any relationships within our family that need special care and help us to make it right. We love you and thank you Lord! amen <3

__________________________________________________

For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

GCH:POTs (Parents of Teens)- Glorifying God by Fulfilling Your “This I Must Do” Dream!

November 9, 2012 by

 

Greetings again, POTs!

Over the past few days, we have been exploring the first 2 of 3 purposes God has for your teen’s life… Do you remember what they are?

  1. To love God by belonging to Christ
  2. To love God by loving others

So… that leads us to what we will be unpacking together today, the third purpose:

To glorify God by fulfilling your “This I must do” dream

We are all here on this earth to glorify God by doing the one big thing that God has so divinely commissioned you, and you alone, to do to help fulfill His purposes here on earth to build His kingdom. This specific, unique, and significant purpose directs you to pursue your God-designed life mission with pure joy and to deliver God-inspired life message to those you are eager to serve.

This purpose is God’s personalized gift to you… specifically YOU! It is a dream that reflects your passionate ache and divine urge…. You’re heart’s desire. This fascination was planted in your soul by God before you were even born… how awesome is THAT!?!? It is what drives your life… what you feel you MUST do. It is what you are called to do… what you feel you can’t NOT do! What is YOUR “must do” dream?

What you must understand is that it is up to each and every one of us to decide if we will actually take on this huge commitment to make this eternal contribution that is obviously impossible without God’s help. It is our choice.

THIS is the exact focus of the time we are going to spend together here for the next few weeks. I understand that you probably know inside YOU, as an adult, what this dream is in your life. Maybe you are fulfilling it or maybe you have gotten side tracked. Maybe it’s too big for you to even fit into your head right now. THAT is not my concern at the moment. Whatever you have done with your dream isn’t my focus…. I am concerned with making sure that you do everything you can to help this be realized for your teenager! In the process, you will probably find that your dream comes to surface and could even take off as well. Wouldn’t that be amazing for God’s kingdom?

Throughout the Bible, God gives us example after example of planting such “must-do” assignments in the hearts of people. Remember Noah? He HAD to build an ark before the great flood (Genesis 6:13-21). Moses HAD to go to Pharaoh and demand the release of God’s people (Exodus 3:10,20). Paul HAD to proclaim the good news to the Gentiles (Galatians 1:13-16) and Samuel HAD to anoint David king in spite of ensuing turmoil (1 Samuel 16:12-13). There are countless more of these moments in the Bible where God commissioned ordinary people to do extraordinary things that took a lifetime to see final completion or where God called ordinary people to complete impossible tasks that defined and shaped the rest of their lives.

Why would you or your teen be an exception to that pattern of the ordinary person being used by God to do the extraordinary? God is glorified when we’re stretched beyond our personal ability to complete an impossible task! God needs His people to live their dreams out loud and I am here to guide you through this so that you can in turn help your teenager SOAR!

Over the weekend, spend some time in prayer asking God to reignite the passion for your dream He so divinely placed in your heart. Seek God and on this and ask Him to begin to show you how He needs you to begin to plant these seeds in your child. Be ready to dive right in on Monday with me here on this blog!

Let’s pray:

Thank you Lord for creating us each so uniquely to fulfill Your purposes here on earth, Every situation and circumstance of our life is divinely orchestrated by You for Your purposes to be fulfilled and we are so thankful to be able to live this out loud for Your kingdom. Help us to be passionate for our dreams once again, Lord, so that we can bring this to life for our teenagers. Help us live BOLDLY for You and your kingdom. Amen <3

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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GCH:POTs (Parents of Teens)- Love God by Loving Others

November 8, 2012 by

Hi POTs!

Yesterday I posted about the first of 3 purposes for your teen’s life… To love God by belonging to Christ. So, today we will explore the second purpose:

To love God by loving others

 

It is so easy for us, as adults, to get distracted by the millions of fiery darts that get thrown our way every day… and I KNOW you know what I mean! You start your day in the Word, you give your day to the Lord, you say your “amens” and the next thing you know….. You are discouraged left and right from all the distractions satan throws at you to get you off track. Can you imagine trying to stay focused on what God has for you as a teenager… Not yet equipped with some of the skills necessary to navigate those fiery darts?

 

Matthew 22:39

Jesus added, “A second (commandment) is like equally important: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

 

All of us, as Christ followers, have the purpose to love God by living each day, with love, in order to fulfill the responsibilities, daily tasks, and major roles that God has so divinely assigned to each of us as individuals.

This includes honoring God by serving with Christ-like love in all your life domains:

  • Personal
  • Family
  • Relationships
  • School
  • Job
  • Ministry
  • Community
  • ____________(other)

 

What does that look like? Well, it means that we all are commanded to trust the Lord for the strength and power needed to fulfill our commitments and meet the challenges that propel our day in all of these areas.

If we are not walking in step with God throughout our day we will certainly be knocked off course. It is so important that our teens see us walk this out. When you get thrown a distraction, how do you handle it? What are you modeling for your teen? I would like for you to go to the Lord in prayer today and ask Him to show you the areas where you might be struggling in this area and ask Him to give you HIS eyes to see where you need Him most. This should give you better insight into how to approach this with your teen. If you can relate to them where you struggle, they are more likely to listen and learn with you. Please let God into those areas where you are struggling so that He can help you break free and keep those distractions where they belong…. Out of your way!

I pray that by this point, your teen has been able to open up with you about some areas where they are struggling. Please keep an open heart and mind as they share with you. I would love to hear how this is going and please know that I am right here with you every step of the way!

Tomorrow we will discuss the third purpose, To Glorify God by fulfilling your “This I must do” dream… and I pray it is a blessing to you and your household.

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord, I thank you so much for what You have been showing us this week as we have been seeking your wisdom and guidance as we help mold our teens’ hearts and souls. Keep strengthening us, Lord and keep us open to what You have for our family through this journey. Help us to see our relationship with our teens with a new perspective and keep us focused on what You have for us. We thank you for this provision, Father. In Your Son’s name we pray, amen <3

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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GCH:POTs (Parents of Teens)- Love God by Belonging to Christ

November 7, 2012 by

Hello POTs!

It has been 3 days now since I posted about God having 3 purposes for your teen’s life… Do you remember what they are?

  1. To love God by belonging to Christ
  2. To love God by loving others
  3. To glorify God by fulfilling your “This I must do” dream

Today, we will dive into the first purpose mentioned: “Loving God by belonging to Christ.” I pray that you were able to go to the Lord in prayer about this very purpose over your own life. . Really, if you are able to articulate about how God has impacted your life in this way, it will be much easier to relate it to your teen! If you found it challenging to get started digging deeper about this on your own, that’s okay…. You can work through it with me today and I pray this lesson will help encourage some awesome conversation between you and your teen!

Matthew 22:37-38

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul

 and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.

As a Christ follower, it is our purpose to love God by choosing (yes, intentionally making a choice…) to be transformed into a new person in the image of Christ. How do we go about doing this in real life? Well, it begins by reading God’s Word and allowing the Holy Spirit to teach to you fully surrender to Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

It is critical that you have help from people around you here on earth to walk this out. I’m specifically talking about your church family (including prayer partners, accountability partners, and mentors). In belonging to Christ, you have chosen to commit to a life of holiness, integrity, right motives, peace, and worshipping your Creator…… as well as helping others to do the same.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by

 the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test

and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

As adults…. This is HARD to do, right? Can you imagine how much harder it is for teens? Typically, their biggest fear is not fitting in with their peers. I know this has been tough for many of my kids, especially in middle school through 9th grade. If we can pinpoint and put names to our struggles with this very idea, then it will be much easier to relate to our teens about it. Do you struggle with this in your workplace? Maybe with friends you still have from before you were a believer? Maybe it’s your extended family that makes it challenging for you to live not of this world?

I urge you to spend some time with the Lord on this in prayer before you start the conversation with your teen. Let Him guide you in opening up with them about what this looks like in your life.

John 14:6

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me.

Do you believe this? In your heart and soul, do you believe this? If so, how does this impact YOUR life? Explore that a bit before talking to your teen about it. I truly wish I could be a fly on the wall and hear every conversation each of you have with your teens about this divine purpose God has for their life! Read this scripture with your teen and help them unpack it. You know, they might just teach you a thing or two about your walk with God!

I would love to hear about how this is going in your home. Please share with me in a comment on this blog or by email how it is going working through this with your teen. After all, we are all in this together!

I will be back tomorrow to explore the second purpose God has for your teen:

To Love God by Loving Others!

 

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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GCH:POTs (Parents of Teens) God’s Purposes For Your Teenager

November 4, 2012 by

For the Lord is the one who shaped the mountains,

stirs up the winds, and reveals his thoughts to mankind.

He turns the light of dawn into darkness

and treads on the heights of the earth.

The Lord God of Heaven’s Armies is his name!

Amos 4:13

 

I hope you enjoyed getting to know your kids better last week. What types of questions did you ask them? How did they respond? I would love to hear all about it!

This week, we are going to focus on preparing you and your teen for change. I know, I know…. Not many people are fans of things changing, but change is imperative if you want to have a different outcome in any situation. Parenting and communication with your teenager is no different. Having five teens under my roof at the same time, I learned early on that I needed to be willing to try different approaches with each one constantly in order to bring out the best in them and our relationship.

We all want to know our life’s purpose…. Don’t we? Well, our teenagers are no different. In fact, what I have seen with my own kids is that every way they turn, they are even EXPECTED to know their life purpose at younger and younger ages. I’m 37 and I just figured it out two years ago!

I have always admired my oldest son, James, because he knew in kindergarten that he wanted to be a chef and has been unwavering in that goal. Straight out of high school, he went into culinary school and is now a chef! But, what I am finding, is that his focus with his God-given gifts is uncommon and most of my other kids have had thoughts swimming around in their heads like….

  • Why was I born?
  • Will my dream ever come true?
  • What major should I have in college?
  • Should I go to college?
  • Where do I fit in this world?
  • What on earth am I here for?

Our society prompts us, as parents, to pray for God to bring someone or some situation into our kids’ lives to encourage their kids to live more purpose-filled and significant lives beyond video games and texting. Parents want their kids to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior and to live with His peace and joy in their hearts. They want their kids to be self-sufficient and to live rewarding lives in and out of the home.

 

I have news for you. In all of my coaching, parenting,  and mentoring the one way I have found to help make all these pieces fit into place for your teenager is to help them to discover how they specifically have been wired by God with unique, God-given Gifts to make an impact on this world. I am so happy that we are on this journey together…. Now let’s get started!

God has three purposes for your teen’s life:

  1. To love God by belonging to Christ
  2. To love God by loving others
  3. To glorify God by fulfilling your “This I must do” dream

This week, we will be diving into these three purposes to help lay the groundwork with our teenagers. These three purposes are meant to work simultaneously in order  to unleash God’s best in their life. Are you ready to get started?

What I need you to do the next few days is spend some time thinking and praying on how these three purposes fit into YOUR life. Seek the Lord on these three purposes and see what He shows you. If you can talk about how God has impacted your life in these ways, it will be much easier to relate it to your teen!

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord, I thank you for every parent and adult who is reading this blog who has the desire to help bring out the very best in their teen! Thank you for putting this desire in their hearts and I pray that You will continue to strengthen them and give them Your boldness to dare to be different! Help them think outside the box in relating and communicating with their teen to help being out Your gifts in them. Thank You for this provision, Father. In Your Son’s name I pray, amen <3

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan :)

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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GCH: POTs (Parents of Teens) Starting the Conversation

October 24, 2012 by

The most important side of your kids….

The inside!

I don’t know about your kids, but mine are experts at talking about nothing… a lot!!! And for years, I was pretty good at keeping things surface with them…. partly because I was afraid to dig deeper, if you know what I mean. God really convicted me in this area and I’m so glad he did!

I have always been really good about knowing exactly what my kids want as gifts and what their favorite foods are…. But what about the really important stuff? Do you know….

  • How their small group is going at church?
  • If they have any Christian friends at school or in your neighborhood?
  • What their hopes and dreams are?
  • What they like most about themselves?
  • What breaks their heart?
  • What their Love Language is?
  • Their biggest fears?
  • If they see you and your spouse as Spiritual Leaders in your home?
  • Who their favorite teachers are?
  • The latest miracle God performed in their life?
  • Who is their best friend?
  • Their biggest challenges at school (not only academically)?
  • How you can pray for them?
  • Fill in the blank_____________________________?

 

My kids had/ have the extra challenge of being non-biological to me and had a whole other set of insecurities and hurts that many kids aren’t challenged with… but that was also a subject that I had to tread light with talking to them about and getting them to open up about because I wanted to protect my heart too, right? Well, once I let that go and let them see they were safe to open up with me, healing was able to begin. Did some of what they told me hurt? YES!!!!! But it really wasn’t about me. It is always so much more important that your kids feel safe talking to you about what is on their mind and heart than how YOU might feel about what they say!

I would like to challenge you for the next few days to engage in meaningful conversation with your kids about God’s unique plan for their lives, based on how God has uniquely created them to be. If you talk about nothing else “deep”,  it’s okay… this is a safe way to start and will get the dialog flowing! Remember…. It’s a DIAlog you’re after… not a MONOlog! 🙂  Think about it…. other than the topic of salvation, I cannot think of any other more important conversation we can have with our teens than the one about personal surrender to God’s will for their life! There is no hat we wear as “parent” that is more important than this… and THAT is why we are starting here with this blog!

In the days and weeks to come, we are going on an awesome, life-journey together with our teens as we grow closer and deeper in our relationship with them. Please don’t wait to do this! Begin to make a difference NOW and join us as we make this intentional stand to give our teens all we’ve got!

Dear Lord, thank you for stirring a hunger in each parent or youth leader reading this blog post to want to be more intentional about how they are relating to their teen! May You be glorified through each and every single conversation. As iron sharpens iron, give us each a boldness to share with each other our successes and opportunities we come across this week. Protect each household and give them Your mighty boldness with their kids! In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen <3

Please leave me a comment on today’s blog about how you plan on starting this conversation with your kids! We are all in this together… so let’s work together to help each other along!

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan :)

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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GCH: POTs….. Parents of Teens (an introduction)

October 19, 2012 by

This blog is specifically for parents of teens…

but will be a great resource for any parent.

I am Megan Smidt and I am  a co-founder of this ministry, Girlfriends Coffee Hour, and I also lead our ministry for teen girls called GCH:decaf.

I am an unlikely parent. I have not given birth to any children, but I have 5 that legally and lovingly call me “mom.” I always thought God wanted to use me for His purposes in working with kids, but he has shown me very clearly over the past few years that He needs me with their leaders and parents, specifically, to further His Kingdom.

My Kids

So, I have 5 kids ages 14-21 and I volunteer every week with the high school students at my local church. I have been a parent of teenagers for 8 years already and I have another 6 years to go, God willing. I love them… and I love the amazing journey that each teenaged relationship I have brings my way. I am honored to be able to walk along side  you in this season and I pray that we learn a lot from each other.

As you can imagine, I also know the added stresses of raising teens in a blended family situation. I get that… even though I am the only one who blended into our family. My teens are living through and surviving abandonment, neglect, anger, disappointment, failure, psychological sickness and abuse, and other pain that comes from being a child of divorce and being raised primarily by someone other than their biological parent.

I am a Certified Christian Life Coach who specializes in relationships…. And I really love people…. especially encouraging people in their walk with the Lord.

God has shown me it is important that, as a ministry, we not just be there for teen girls, but that we help bring healing to families through also offering support to their parents. My prayer is that GCH will be an instrument to help families become more fully devoted followers for God and, in turn, thrive in this season. I thank you for being on this journey with me.

I do not believe that kids need to wait until they are older to do something big for God…. They can do it NOW. Understanding their own unique and divine mission is a key step in them accomplishing big things for God. Being a parent myself, I know how important it is as a parent to be there for your children to give them much-needed motivation and encouragement to help a teen take a step towards God, especially being in a fallen world that is trying to get your teen to step away from Him every day.

I will be starting out this blog by writing a few times a week here about how you can help your teen discover God’s mission for their unique life purpose. I pray this blog will change your relationship with your teenager and help you prepare them for a meaningful life that God has so divinely created them for. I plan on helping you have conversations with your teens about such things as….

  • Knowing strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats
  • Praying for courage, perseverance, and miracles
  • Understanding spiritual gifts, best qualities and finest values
  • Rethinking motives, relationships and use of time
  • Writing a Lifetime Dream Statement
  • Surrendering all to Jesus

 We are partners… in this together. We all know it takes a village to raise a child and I pray that you will find this to be a helpful place as you navigate these waters of teenagedom.

Lord, we come to you today praying for your leading. Help me come up with good questions to ask my kids and help me every day to truly hear my kids’ hearts. I am thankful that You have helped me find my life’s purpose in You as an adult and I pray you will use me as a willing vessel to speak into the lives of every family represented here. We thank you in advance for how relationships will be restored through this journey and for all of the incredible discoveries we will make together. Lord, we thank you for this provision! Amen.

Blessings to you and yours,

Megan 🙂

megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com

https://www.facebook.com/megan.smidt

Sign up for one of our Online Bible Study or Fellowship Groups for Women and Teen Girls here:

http://girlfriendscoffeehour.com/sign-up-for-girlfriends-coffee-hour-online-bible-studies/

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Resolution for Women – True Love

September 10, 2012 by

1 John 3:18

“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”

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Are you a “loving” mom, or a mom who is “in-love” with your child?

Is it important to you to be your child’s best friend, or to be one that shows them true love?

I’ve been both.  I’ve been the one that shows love discipline and teaching; and I’ve been the one who just wants to be their best friend!  Let’s fact it, parenting is not for the faint-hearted, is it??

Priscilla makes some very good points in this chapter:

  • Our primary goal as mothers is teaching our children God’s truth.
  • Love doesn’t always come in the form of words.
  • Love is an action.
  • Parenting is not an easy job!
  • Parenting is a rewarding job!
  • A fair share of your actions toward your children will not always translate love.
  • Sometimes kids see our love action as being too strict, or overbearing.

I remember times when my kids were little when they used to think that I was over-protective, to the point that they told all their friends that I wouldn’t let them play out in the street for fear that a plane would crash into them! 🙂  Yes, it was a joke, but in their eyes, they really did see me as too protective.  In my eyes, I was loving them.  Huge difference.

We used to laugh about the plane crashing into them, but today they are both mothers, and the one daughter who used to joke about the plane the most, is the mom who is the strictest with her children! Ha!    I just want to look at her one day and say “When will the plane crash??” 🙂

I’ve seen parents who think their only responsibility is to be “friends” with their kids.  Friends to the point that it was unheard of to say “no” to their kids.  I saw this in my own home when my husband and I moved under one roof.  He had two teenage boys still at home, and his only goal was to be their friend.  All I saw was two boys who were headed for a serious crash when the reality of True Life hit them!  They had much to learn that life wasn’t all about getting whatever they wanted, when they wanted it.  This type of “friendship” with his boys caused us, and the boys, a lot of heartache for the first few years as a family.  But, my husband began to see how important it was to change that relationship with his boys and start teaching them to be responsible adults, who would be ready for real life when they left home.  It wasn’t an easy change-over, that’s for sure.  But we all made it out alive, Praise God!

Really, the only advice I can give new parents, or parents with fairly young children at home, please stop worrying about being their best friend!  As Priscilla said in this chapter, True Love is serious business!  We have the responsibility of training this human life in the way he/she should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it.  Your children need YOU to be a parent….not their friend.  There’s always time to be their best friend later in years, when they really need it!

As my youngest said to me one day, “Mom, you were always the hardest on us; but because you were, I always knew that you loved us.”  You will never know what music that was to my ears!

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we lift our children to You today and we thank You for the awesome responsibility You have given us.  We thank You Lord for loaning these children to us for a short period of time, to train them in the way they should go.  We thank You Lord for the patience we will need during this time of actually demonstrating our love through action, and not just through words.  Help us Lord to be the parent that YOU need us to be for each child in our life.

Father, for struggling families out there, Lord, I ask for Your help in repairing damage that has already been done.  Help restore the relationships that have gone sour.  Help restore forgiveness, as well, Lord.

In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!!

Your Assignment:

Please leave a comment below telling us in what way you struggle the most in demonstrating love to your child, in action. How can we pray for you today to have a better relationship with your child(ren)?

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Don’t forget, on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, right here, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!  It is AMAZING!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

 

Be sure to jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

 

That’s it for today!  Megan will be here tomorrow blogging about the next chapter, “The Soul Shaper”.  I hope you will join us!

 

Living Intentionally to Be a Blessing to My Children,

 

 

 

 

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