November 5, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: “Don’t save your husband – save yourself”

October 8, 2012 by

This is something I have run through my mind about so many times, thousands of times.  I have gotten up on Sunday mornings and wondered Lord will today be the day that my man will surrender everything to You? I look at him as he is lying in the bed and think well it could be Beverly!   I picture him getting up and saying honey I think I will go to church with you today (oh and by the way he did go with me yesterday)….I picture him going into the church service…I picture him headed to the pastor telling him “I want to surrender”…..oh what a day that will be!!!

But at this time after years of praying, waiting, and hoping, that is still what I am doing, praying, waiting and hoping.

My husband and I met 37 years and married 33 years ago. At first he attended church with me and then slowly stopped going  (which now makes me wonder did he go just for show back then)…until one day he stopped going all together except for special things.

God kept drawing me closer into a relationship with Him and yet my relationship with my husband was not growing the way “I” wanted because I now had something I wanted both of us to have but he was not at that point yet.  Oh, other aspects of our marriage were great but this was something that was a standing wall between us.

Yes I could have written the handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

I was not a total “Jesus freak.” I would come home and make him sit and listen (I just thought he was listening) to things I was learning in God’s Word. I even packed gospel tracts in his lunch. Most of the time all of which he avoided.

There were times we would be at odds with each other. I would sometimes find that I would blame some of our marital problems on his unsaved status. After all, I thought if we were both Christians, life would be “happy-ever-after.” Or so I imagined. I would begin trying harder to ensure he was hearing God’s messages by playing my Christian music and scattering opened Bibles around the house. Every once and awhile he would go with me to church, but instead of enjoying him sitting next to me in church, I’d sit there chewing nervously on the end of my pen, praying madly that this would be “The Day”, and when it wasn’t, I would quiz him in the car on the way home, “What did you think of the sermon? Did you like the music?”

“It was okay,” he’d say. And his thoughts would turn to “What we gonna eat for lunch?”

The rest of the ride home, I’d sit and fight back tears or angry words. Why couldn’t he see his need for Christ I would ask myself.

One day I met this lady who had told me Beverly pray for him no matter how many years you have to and “DON’T GIVE UP”, so I made that commitment to pray either until I die or he surrenders. And I’m going to love him through every day. Period.

That was 33 years ago ladies—and I’m still praying and still loving. But I’m no longer pining away in self-absorbed isolation waiting desperately for my husband’s salvation to bring marital fulfillment. Instead, I’ve decided no matter how many years, I want those years to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of us, despite our spiritual differences.

God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away.

I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right.

Pray, pray, pray. Prayer is my link to God’s presence, power, wisdom, and comfort.

I will “Never” give up hope. God offers everyone the same gift of salvation and eternal life. Some choose to accept it, and others don’t. But all who accept the gift do so in God’s timing, not ours. God knows what he’s doing.

I don’t understand why God does what he does, but I will trust God while I wait.

The truth is, I might not ever see my husband walk a church aisle, and surrender his life but that’s okay. I have hope that I’ll see him walk through heavens gate. In the meantime, I will live my life as an godly example and leave it all with God and let Him do His work.

Let’s Pray

God help us to realize we have no control in changing our husbands, change comes from You so help us all to leave our sweet husbands in Your hands. In your name I pray Amen!

Your assignment:

Share with us one thing that you have done to try and get your husband to accept Christ as his Savior.

For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to all of you this week

Love, Beverly

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Resolution for Women: Living With Grace

September 17, 2012 by

“For the law was given through Moses,

grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”

John 1:17

 

 

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I want to start this blog today by asking you what the word “grace” means to you.  Think about that for a minute, before you answer.  When you stop and think about that word, what pictures run through your mind?

When I think of the word “grace”, it reminds me of someone who has much poise.  A soft demeanor.  A soft approach.  A soft voice.  A soft touch.

It means a soft spoken word.  Or a gentle word of encouragement.

There are a lot of meanings for the word “grace”.  But this week, we are focusing on what “living with grace” means for our homes.  For me, living with grace means my home is a place of safety; a place of encouragement; a place that allows you to drop your troubles at the door; a safe haven.  It means a place where my husband can come home to, and not only feel peace, but see it, as well.

For me, it means being a gracious host when friends come over.  For me, I want everyone to come into my home and feel a surrounding of peace they don’t feel elsewhere.  So it’s important to me and my husband that we keep all obstacles out of our home, including people, who will not respect our peace.

When we first married, there was no such thing as peace in our home.  I walked into a home with two teenage boys who knew no discipline whatsoever.  They were allowed to do pretty much anything they wanted.  Needless to say, that changed when I moved in.  That did not set will with either one of them.  We had a lot of struggles, disagreements, and some yelling and screaming fights!  It was not pretty, at all!!  Needless to say, there was no such thing as peace in our home!

But soon, that changed for the better.  It took my husband and I agreeing that we would never allow that kind of strife in our home again!  No matter what it took!  It took both of us praying, A LOT!!!  It took us both coming to the conclusion that we did not, and would not allow satan to destroy our home environment!

Grace in my home now means we forgive quickly.  We move forward.  We respect each others privacy.  We respect each other…period!!  We take care of our home, instead of allowing things to get so out of hand, it’s complete chaos trying to get over all the mounds of “STUFF” that got left undone!!  We strive to do whatever it takes to make others feel comfortable in our home.  We WANT others to enjoy being in our home, not having to get out quickly because the strife was so thick you could cut it with a knife!

It took a lot of work, but over time, we made it happen.

Grace, by definition, is “favor or kindness expressed to the undeserving.  There were times in my home, I did NOT want to extend grace to those undeserving.  I was mad.  I was bitter.  I was hurt!  Today, there are still times I struggle with things that happened when we first got together under one roof.  But overall, I know I have to show God’s grace to others, because of the grace He showed me when I was so undeserving of it.

Offering complete grace to the undeserving in our own ability, is not possible.  But, 2 Corinthians 12:9 says,

‘My grace is sufficient for you,

for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’“

It’s during those times, when we struggle to offer grace to those undeserving, when we are weak and don’t have the ability to do it on our own, that Jesus’ grace flows through us!!  Praise God!!!  We CAN offer grace because He says we can through Him!!!  AMEN!!!

Priscilla says, “Dispensers of grace are women who resolve to put candles on the table instead of sulking in the dark.” I love that!!!   It means letting go of past hurts, and choosing to move forward and offering grace to those who don’t deserve it.  That my dear Sister in Christ, is going to offer you peace like you’ve never experienced before!  It’s revolutionary, as Priscilla says!

Showing true grace to others means making others feel accepted; no longer holding onto offenses; being grateful; no longer being critical; allowing others to walk freely around you instead of on egg shells; showing them Christ in all your ways.

 

“Give them a break.

I know they don’t deserve it.

But neither did you.

Grace came anyway.”

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Let’s Pray:

Father, we ask You to check our hearts today and see if grace lives there.  If not Lord, instruct us on what we need to do to let go of whatever it is that is keeping us from walking freely in the grace that Christ showed us, and help us to offer it freely to others, even those undeserving.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

Your Assignment:

Think about a home that you have entered where grace was prevalent.  How did the home feel?  How were you treated?  If you could do one thing in your own home to extend Christ’ grace to others, what it would be?   Please leave your comment below.

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Reminder… on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Now jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

Living Intentionally to Offer His Grace,

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Resolution for Women – Weekly Overview “Fulfilling My Husband”

September 7, 2012 by

Happy Friday!!!  🙂

Here is this weeks video blog!! 😉

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Have a GREAT Weekend Everyone!

See you on Sunday!

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Resolution for Women: Need a Little Peace and Quiet

September 6, 2012 by

What does honoring and loving our husbands look like?

We were given some wonderful scriptures to read to help us “get the picture” of what it looks like  in 1 Peter 3:1-5.

The main part of these verses this lesson focused on for us is verse 4.  “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I think of it as “my recipe” for my marriage.

To be “gentle” means to be (humble, considerate or meek). Priscilla says simply put “we are being asked to be kind to our husbands”.

So how about it? Can we resolve to be kind?  What are some ways we can proactively show kindness to our husband?    Here are just a few that have been part of my list for a while that I thought I would share with you today

  • Leave him alone while he is doing his business in the bathroom
  • Don’t cut him down, especially in front of others
  • Encourage his hobbies
  • Do things with him that he likes, even when you don’t
  • Don’t get upset when he wants to take a trip with just the guys
  • Don’t move his belongings around without discussing with him first
  • Leave electronic devices at home or in your purse when you go out for dinner
  • Make a date night with him at least once a week, even if its just popcorn and movie after the kids are in bed
  • Honor him in front of the children and others
  • Treat him as if God stamped on His forehead “handle with care”

Do we truly go “out of our way” to find out what our husband likes.   Don’t wait for him to tell us, look for it, he will love that we took the time to truly find out without him having to tell us.

To be “quiet” does not mean you are supposed to be silent, instead we are to be a living, breathing expression of the Word of God.  Quietness has more to do with the state of our hearts than the quality and volume of our words.

Our lesson taught us we are to try and lighten the load for our husbands.  This means for us to figure out how we can make or help our husbands day “just a little bit easier”, as this will help him to feel more confident because he knows we’re not here to tear him down but to build him up.

When we say “I do”  that means we are becoming a team “together” and that means we are to be his “helpmeet”. When we show our man that we want to “serve” him then he is much more likely to reciprocate the same back to us and our family.

Many times its “our words” in much of our day that speaks in our relationships….when sometimes we just need the power that is reflected in the two words “gentleness and quietness” to take the lead.

Earlier in the week as I began this weeks study of fulfilling my husband I had decided to ask my husband a question…I wanted to find out what he thought about how I fulfill him?  Am I doing a good job at it?  Are there some ways I can do better or fulfill him more than I do today after 33 years of marriage?

And ladies this is what he told me…are you ready for this…

He said “everything you do for me or with me is just perfect the way I like it so I don’t think there is anything you need to do better or different”

That made me know at least I know I am on the right track with fulfilling my man…..but I know all the outward stuff he sees or hears is probably supplying/fulfilling him but what about my inward thoughts….do I do the same on the inside or am I yelling at him when he doesn’t do what I think is the right thing, if I am, then I am not fully fulfilling him and I need to work on my thoughts too.

Let’s resolve to honor and love our man like God has taught us to in His Word!

Let’s Pray:

Father, teach us what each of us need to do or change in our lives/marriages to ensure we are fulfilling our husband and help us to accomplish it Lord, for when we honor him we are honoring You.

In Your name  I pray Amen!

Your Assignment:

Think of one thing you can do to be proactively kind to your man and DO IT!!!

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After you have commented below, go back to our Online Bible Study Group on Facebook to see what our Daily Activity is. If you do not yet belong to our OBS Facebook group, and would like to, please send an email to: GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com  

We’ll send you the details needed to get you into this group!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

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The Resolution for Women: Faith vs. Faithfulness

July 25, 2012 by

Our Memory Verse

             

Welcome to another day of The Resolution for Women!  I’m very excited to talk to you today about Faith vs. Faithfulness! Are you ready?

I’m not sure about you guys, but I absolutely LOVED the visual we got as Priscilla described the mother Eagle!  Eagles are like royalty, very regal in stature – strong and powerful – fiercly protective – beautiful birds!  What an incredible picture to hold in our minds.  Then, today one of our ladies spoke of a song in which she envisioned each one of us together, with suitcases,  swinging them in the air and singing!  I can see that scene so clearly, even without closing my eyes.  We were sticking together, sisters in Christ – all with our matching suitcases!  Ladies, it doesn’t get much better than that!  Unfortunately these are just visions and although they are awesome, they don’t go any further than that.

To take this a step further, each week the leaders here anticipate the important words God is going to give them in order to write the daily blog for you.  We have complete faith He is going to bless us with the perfect words;  BUT to actually write the blog each week, to put ourselves out there, is definitely faithfulness.   As Priscilla teaches, ‘The concept of faithfulness is a physical outworking of actions” – It is when the “outward expressions of your beliefs are lived out over time”.  As we prepare to write our blogs each week, life happens. We may find ourselves distracted, not feeling 100%, or just plain spent.  Satan may raise his ugly head and do everything he can to prevent us from sharing these teachings with you.  To give you an example, it’s 1:16 am here and I went to publish my completed blog and the hotel’s wi-fi dropped.  My blog did not post and in fact, when I went back into it – it was at 540 words instead of the 1008 of the finished product.  However, this will not stop me!  I will pray and move forward in Faithfulness, living in obedience to Him. 

Faithfulness is born when the outward expression of your beliefs are lived out over time.

Jesus learned obedience through suffering (Hebrews 5:8).  Day in and day out he faced trials and tribulations, was ridiculed, and was eventually beaten and forced to carry the heavy, rugged cross.  However, he proved His faithfulness by surrendering His will,  by praying,  and by staying committed to His Father’s purpose (being the source of eternal salvation).  He resolved to be faithfully His (Fathers).   It is only when we live a life of faithfulness will we ‘fly on the wings of God’s spirit’. (Priscilla Shirer)

How many of you have made resolutions?  Perhaps you’re going to spend more time with God, less time on the computer, or maybe you’re going to give your husband extra attention.   I am working on many of these areas; however my own personal resolution is to get my temple in order so that I am at 150% capacity in order to do His work here in the United States as well as in Nicaragua. To be healthy and fit.  Sure I have faith that I can do this with Him; but more importantly I have faithfulness.  I have surrendered this to Him and I am doing what is necessary to see the fruits of my labor (through Him).  I am adjusting my life to my beliefs.  How are you doing with this?

Let’s Pray

Father God, thank you for teaching us Faithfulness, thank you for your word.  Thank you for your love and the love of this group, the love of each sister here.  Be with us Father,  give us strength to surrender to you – may we learn to adjust our lives to our beliefs so we too can have complete faithfulness as you did.  We love you, Honor you, and Praise you. Amen.

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Your Assignment Today:

Would you describe yourself as a faithful person?  If so in what areas of your life?  Tell us about this in your life.

Share below in the comments section about Faithfulness in your life.  Please don’t be afraid to share.  Remember that your testimony or experience could be the one thing that touches someone else and helps them make changes in their life that reflect our Heavenly Father.  Once you’re done, go on over to your OBS Facebook Group to see what we have planned for you today!  You just never know what we will come up with next!!

If you are not a member of our OBS Facebook Group, and would like to be, please send us an email and we’ll be happy to place you!!   Our email address is:  GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com

Love you Bunches and Lots of Hugs,

<3  Kelley

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The Resolution for Women — Faithfully His

July 23, 2012 by

Our Memory Verse

Today, I have a special surprise for you!  I’m not going to be talking, or writing about today’s lesson….

I’m going to let Priscilla Shirer speak to you directly, about being Faithfully His!

Are you ready???!!!!  Here we go!

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Please note that Girlfriends Coffee Hour is not endorsing the

Crossroads Memberships mentioned at the end of this video.

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Let’s Pray

Father, as we begin this new lesson this week, let us prepare our days so we are able to clear our schedules, and our minds, Lord, to better hear Your voice.  Let us lay aside all things that concern us this day, so we are able to sit at Your feet and learn from You, so we can become even more Faithfully Yours, Lord!  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!!  

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Your Assignment Today:  

Take at least 30 minutes today to clear your mind, and your schedule, so you are better prepared this week to hear from God.  Share below in the comments section, what you will do this week to make this happen, each day.  Then go on over to your OBS Facebook Group to see what we have planned for you today!  You just never know what we will come up with next!!  

If you are not a member of our OBS Facebook Group, and would like to be, please send us an email and we’ll be happy to place you!!   Our email address is:  GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com

Living Intentionally Each Day to Become More Faithfully His,

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The Resolution for Women ~ It’s Good to be a Girl

July 11, 2012 by

Memory Verse:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

Wow, I had to read our chapter over and over today before actually finding the words to blog for you!   – Do I say this every week in my blog?  I think so [grin]  because it seems every week it takes several times before I ‘get it’ and truly understand what it is that God is instructing me to pass on to you!  

Now without further ado, along with reading the words Priscilla wrote, I googled ‘the great women of the bible’.   I googled the women I didn’t know well, googled those I did, and really tried to get to know these women so I could share just the right message.   Then it became apparent, a light bulb went off ~ He truly wants me to teach you  that it’s more than okay to be a girl ~ it’s an honor and privilege to be a girl!  The heck with society – as women, we have a purpose!    

~we are fearfully and wonderfully made – Our God makes no junk! (Psalm 139.14)

Unfortunately being raised Catholic, mass, confession, and communion were all led by priests.  Attending the Baptist church, I soon learned that there were certain situations where women could not teach or lead men.  There is and has always been an awful lot of emphasis on what women could not do, could not say, or could not be, instead of  what WE CAN DO (based on the God-given talents we received and His intent for our lives).   This is intent, by the way, that He blessed us with at creation ~ it’s not something He decided years later to develop or invoke ~  it’s part of the BIG picture, His BIG plans for us – the ones he put into place many, many years ago as he was picking out the color of our eyes and the number of freckles on our noses! 

We are  NECESSARY –  Did you realize the statistics in church these days?  Sadly, there are more women than men in attendance.   On Father’s Day in the church I attended, there were  1/3rd the number of men to women.   Although men are to be the leaders in the homes and in the families, many families are unequally yoked and it is necessary for the women of the house to ‘train up their children’ in the ways of the Lord.  We were given the characteristics of a ‘feminine heart’ full of wisdom, along with the gift of soft touch ~ things as wives and mothers we will use to keep Christ in our homes.  We have been prepared ahead of time for what the days may bring.

We are IMPORTANT and WORTHY – When Jesus met the woman of Samaria at the well he treated her with mercy and love.  He held conversation with her that showed he truly cared, that she mattered.  He asked her opinions and valued her responses.  Jesus treated her like a somebody, he treated her with importance and worth.  He set the stage for the women of today – we too are valued.  We are worthy of the Messiah’s ‘living water’.  – Let me say that again,  “WE ARE WORTHY OF THE MESSIAH’S LIVING WATER”

Are you there yet?  Are you believing how great it is to be a ‘girl’?    We have been given gifts in abundance!  Our cups runneth over with amazing goodies to be used as we work with little children or the elderly ~ as we travel to other countries to share our hearts ~we lack nothing and have been blessed with all ~

Along with Priscilla in her book The Resolution of Women, there is another author who does an amazing job showing us we are loved by our Heavenly Father ~ through LOVE LETTERS to us from Him,   Sheri Rose Shepherd teaches us where we stand in the eyes of our Abba Father.  Here are a few of her quotes.  I know they will touch you as they have touched me. 

Favorite Quotes by Sheri Rose Shepherd

  • Although I am God, my arms are not too big to hold you, My beloved daughter.
  • Don’t let anyone define you but Me, your Daddy in Heaven.
  • The beauty I had in mind when I created you is a reflection of Me.  (WOW!  yes, created in His image)
  • You are royalty even when you don’t feel like a princess.  (always important to Him!)
  • Inside you is a supernatural surprise a gift that is waiting to be unwrapped…by you.  (continued blessings!)

Regardless of the situation, regardless of the time and place – we are WOMAN, hear us ROAR!  No, Seriously, I say this time and time again to those with no self-esteem, to those who feel less than adequate – to those that are unhappy with their physical appearance and allow that to carry over into their hearts and abilities – GOD MAKES NO JUNK!    

We were each individually, especially made to fulfill God’s plans for our lives.  We are not PERFECT, but being made by the KING we are precisely and exactly what we are supposed to be – each flaw intended!   We are beautiful, worthy, necessary, gifted and blessed beyond words!  

PRAYER:

Abba Father,  Thank you for the blessing of being women who were created specifically to fulfill your plans and purposes; who were designed wonderfully with beautiful hearts, tender touches, and amazing gifts.  Who are worthy Father of your ‘Living Water’ and understand your intentions in creating us.  Be with us as we utilize these many tools, that lives are touched and that everything we do brings glory to you.  May we always embrace your/our purpose.  In your precious and Most Holy Name we Pray,  Amen.

HOMEWORK:

Choose one of the many roles you currently play in your life and record for each one how you are…….. Good for it, necessary to it, an important component of it, worthy to be a part of it, and  trustworthy to fulfill your role in it.   Comment on the blog and let us know what this role is for you and ‘how you are’ with it.

Remember, You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made – God doesn’t make Junk! and don’t forget to go back over to our Facebook group and see what fun Megan has going on for you over there today!

<3   Kelley

 

 

 

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This is the day….

May 5, 2012 by

Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it”.

Have you ever really stopped to think about “today”.  Today, the one more day on earth that God has granted you.  The one more day of air that you breathe.  The one more day on earth to spend with your loved ones.

Today, my daughter heard her little one say “mama”, for the first time!  There is nothing sweeter to a mother’s ear than to hear her name for the very first time.  God gave her one more day here on earth, just to hear those sweet precious words.

Today, I will soon be meeting some friends of mine for a fundraiser event.  We are all part of the Christian Motorcyclists Association.  It’s our annual fundraiser ride.  We always enjoy this event because it is filled with food, laughter, prayer, praise & worship!  Hundreds of bikes get together and we celebrate … this is the day the Lord has made!

Today, there is a single mom out there who is struggling to make ends meet.  She’s already working two jobs.  She’s tired.  But, she’s hanging in there, for herself and her kids!  … this is the day the Lord has made!

No matter what our circumstances, we should always choose to give God the glory.   Giving God the glory simply means that you are thankful to Him for giving you one more day …. one more day!  That is something to celebrate!

Maybe life hasn’t always been that easy for you.  Or maybe life isn’t easy at all, today!  But, I honestly believe that we have a choice in how we choose to see our day!  We can give this day power for good or bad, by our attitude.  Our attitude definitely sets our altitude!

When you wake up in the morning and the first thought is “Oh this is going to be a LONG day…..”, and you accept that thought as though it were already, you’ve just given yourself a LONG day!

BUT, if you wake up and think this thought, and you immediately rise up and say, “No it won’t be….THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE & I CHOOSE TO REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT”, you’ve set the standard for a MUCH BETTER day!

Don’t let the enemy get to you with negative thoughts and words.  CHOOSE to rise up against those words, and CHOOSE LIFE!  CHOOSE to rejoice and be glad.  CHOOSE to be more than a conqueror.  CHOOSE to believe that with God ALL things are possible!

Today, I CHOOSE to REJOICE, BE THANKFUL, AND BE GLAD!!

How about you?

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