November 22, 2024

Captivating Begins Jan 6, 2013!! Are You Ready?

January 4, 2013 by

New Year Greetings!

My name is Jackie Chingawale, and I am the Singles Ministry Co-Leader of Girlfriends Coffee Hour, also known as GCH.

I want to welcome you to GCH! We are a group of women all across the world that love the Lord Jesus, and are always looking for ways to better our walk with Him, and improve not only our selves, but those around us, as well. PLEASE be sure to read this blog post all the way through, as I will be taking you through some things that you need to know in order to have a great experience.

Beginning on Sunday 6 January 2013, we will embark upon a new journey with our second Singles Ministry Online Bible Study “Captivating – Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge”.

captivating

I can’t begin to tell you just how excited I am about this study! Being involved in the GCH Singles Ministry, I have learned so many things from the ladies that joined the first study.  As women whether single or married, we have so many things in common.  But most of all, we all want to feel special and loved.

 

As I began going through Captivating, I wanted to write down all of the things I could find that would help explain to you what you can expect from this study.

  • Through Captivating we are going to learn what is at the core of a woman’s heart.  What are our desires?  What did we long for when we were little girls?  What do we still long for as women?  How do we begin to be healed from the wounds and tragedies of our lives?
  • Captivating is not a book about all the things that we are failing to do as women.  Most of us have grown up being told that we don’t measure up, if you act like so and so you will be accepted or if you follow these 10 steps, you will meet the grade.  We will learn who a true woman is – whether you relate more to Cinderella or Joan of Arc.
  • You will discover that God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring.  It may have been misunderstood or assaulted but it is there and it is worth recovering.
  • As we take this journey of discovery and healing, you will be assured that your heart is the prize of God’s Kingdom, and Jesus has come to win you back for himself.
  • You will find hope and practical illustrations to apply to everyday challenges in being God’s woman.
  • You will find prayer, support, encouragement, accountability, motivation, love, from other women, just like you, who are currently single or divorced or married, and are willing to share how they face each day with the help of Christ Jesus.

Wow! Now can you see why I am so very excited to go on this journey with you!!??

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Let’s talk about HOW this Online Bible Study works.

1. Each SUNDAY, you will want to come right here, our website, for your reading assignment for the week.

2. Every Monday through Friday, you will come back here again, to read what we have blogged about for that day’s lesson.

3. You can leave your comments in the comment section of this blog, if you wish. We actually like it when you do because it gives us feedback on how we’re doing! So please do comment! Remember, anything shared here on our blog is open to the public. It is not private. HOWEVER, you do have the option of commenting anonymously, as well.

4. Then if you are signed up for this study, you will go to the Facebook Online Bible Study Discussion Group that you have been assigned to, to discuss that day’s lesson just a bit deeper than we do here on the blog. The Facebook Group is where you will be able to share openly and honestly without anyone outside of that group reading what you’ve posted. This Facebook Group is set up to be a SECRET Facebook group. That means two things: 1) No one outside of the group can even find this group, and 2) Everything shared within the group cannot be seen by anyone outside of the group! How cool is that, huh? We want to make sure that we provide a place for you to share your heart without the concerns of a friend or family member seeing what you are posting! We take every precaution to make the Facebook Groups a SAFE place for you!

That’s it! Pretty Simple, huh?? There are just TWO places that you will want to check every day: HERE (our blog) and Your Facebook Group! It can’t get much easier than that!!

In your Facebook Group, we have a team of women put together for you that will be there to pray with you, and encourage you along the way. They are members of our Prayer Team better known as PoPpers (POP stands for Power of Prayer), who have specifically asked to be placed in the Single Women’s Ministry group. They have a heart for prayer, and for single women’s ministry! I’m sure you will grow to love them just as much as we do!!

We also have an AMAZING Team of Bloggers, who will be blogging about this study! You are going to love these women and their hearts for the Lord, and for Singles Ministry! We took quite a while looking for the perfect women to work with us on this journey, and we believe we have found the perfect women for this study! We can’t wait for you to meet them! Their names are Michelle Graziano my Co-leader, Tonya Ellison, Carissa Markantone and I. Amazing Women!!!

DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!

Sunday, January 6th, the Bible study begins!  Come back here on Sunday, to get the reading assignment for the week and more.

__________________

Let’s Pray:

Father, we come before You today with thanksgiving in our hearts as we start our new Bible study, Captivating.  Lord, we ask You to start with us and be with us in every area of our study.  We commit every woman who has joined us on this journey that You will bless them.  Help us to stay committed and to learn from You.  Holy Spirit be our guide, comforter and helper throughout this study.  Help us to find the woman that you created us to be.  In Jesus Name Amen.

Be Blessed,

Jackie

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Meditation: My True Community – Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997)

December 10, 2012 by

 

“Accept whatever He gives— and give whatever He takes with a big smile. You belong to Him.”

Beloved girlfriends, it has been an honor being with you each week throughout our study of the book, Lady in Waiting.  The journey has been amazing and we have learned so many truths together.

This is our last week together and we will be going through some of the meditations that each one of us bloggers has chosen.  However, there are seventeen meditations that you can do throughout the Christmas season as we wait for the next study to begin.  I trust that you have already signed up or are prayerfully thinking of signing up!

Our meditation today is based on a special woman of God, Mother Teresa.  A woman who dedicated her life to serving the poorest of the poor in India.  Mother Teresa is one example of what a single woman who took advantage of her single status to serve the Lord diligently.  Her decision to serve the Lord in this way impacted many lives and many more women have joined her cause.

A Lady in Waiting must also be a Lady of Diligence.  Remember what we covered in the topic of diligence in Chapter 2 of our Bible Study?  We were given so many examples of how as single women we can serve our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

This statement from chapter 2 still stands out to me today “Singleness is an enviable condition. An unmarried woman has something that a married woman gives up on her wedding day: extra time for Jesus. Too many young women waste valuable years as they wait for life to begin—after marriage. They rarely realize the priceless free time they waste, until it is gone. Have you neglected some mission or ministry opportunities because you feared prolonging your unmarried state?

Being single is enviable because one is free to serve the Lord in whatever way you can.  As we meditate today, lets us allow the Holy Spirit to help us to see in what ways we can minister to others.  You don’t have to be a nun like Mother Teresa to do what she did.  Our Lord Jesus Christ was full of ministry to others; He healed the sick, fed the hungry, and had compassion on all those who were suffering to mention but a few.  As we are in the Christmas season, let us bring Christ to everyone around us by reaching out and serving others.  This is what the Gospel of Matthew verse 4:23-25 says about our beloved Lord. “Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.   News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them.  Large crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis,  Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan followed him.”

This is a great quote from our meditation today which is worth remembering.

“Keep giving Jesus to your people not by words, but by your example, by your being in love with Jesus, by radiating his holiness and spreading His fragrance of love everywhere you go. Just keep the joy of Jesus as your strength. Be happy and at peace. Accept whatever He gives— and give whatever He takes with a big smile. You belong to Him. My true community is the poor— their security is my security, their health is my health. My home is among the poor, and not only the poor, but the poorest of them: the people no one will go near because they are filthy and suffering from contagious diseases, full of germs and vermin— infested; the people who can’t go to church because they can’t go out naked; the people who can no longer eat because they haven’t the strength; the people who lie down in the street, knowing they are going to die, while others look away and pass them by; the people who no longer cry because their tears have run dry! The Lord wants me exactly where I am— He will provide the answers.”

LET’S PRAY

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank You for being with us each and every week as we studied the Lady in Waiting.  Lord, thank You for teaching us through Your life and the life of Mother Teresa the importance of service.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide us and lead us to the place where we can be of service to others who are hurting and need our support.  I pray that we will not be comfortable with just receive but we will give of ourselves in Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Look around your community, there are hospitals, schools and many other places that you can go to and minister to others.  Let us discuss ways in which we are going to reach out throughout the Christmas Holiday.  Which ministry is the Lord asking you to serve Him but up until now you have not responded to?  He is waiting for you to answer the call!

Be Blessed

Jackie

Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldredge

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Lady of Patience – Why Is Waiting So Hard?

December 4, 2012 by

Ps31_14

Have you ever made decisions in life because they seem right at the time but when you look back you realize that it wasn’t the right thing to do?  Well, I have and there are many times when I ask myself why I didn’t wait before making such drastic decisions.  Why did I allow my emotions to get ahead of me?  Why did I let the temporary feelings to determine my future? Why didn’t I seek the face of God before doing this?  Why didn’t I wait?

Waiting for anything is hard, it’s even harder when you are single and you feel like you have limited options available to you.  Some of us have made life altering decisions because we were tired of waiting for what seemed like forever.  Loneliness crept in and we allowed FEAR get to the best of us.

We were afraid of being the odd ones out, the only one who is always the bridesmaid and never the bride, how many bouquets have we caught and believed the myth that the one who catches the bouquet is the next in line to get married?  But year in and year out, we continue the journey as a single lady.

We were afraid to attend family functions where everyone has a partner by their side and a quiver full of kids.  We don’t want to sit next to the nosy cousins who can’t help but taunt us at the dinner table with the following remarks: “this year we were looking forward to being introduced to the man in your life!” or “your nieces are worried that they are growing taller so they will no longer qualify as flowers girls at your wedding.”

As years passed by you asked yourself “when is it going to happen for me? Is Prince Charming going to notice me before the clock strikes 12? Sadly you didn’t have the answer to this question and the more you thought about it the fearful you became.

Fear has been defined as False Evidence Appearing Real.  Fear can cause us to take matters into our own hands and forget God’s promises and fear can make us to accept the proposal of the first guy who comes along without taking into consideration if He is the right man.

You see, the right man won’t rush you to the altar.  He will get to know you first and allow you to get to know him in the process.  He will want to become your friend first before becoming your lover.

Girlfriend, I urge you, do not allow fear to control your decisions, give God back the control of your plans and future.  He knows the desires of your heart.  He loves you with an everlasting love and He is saying “Be still and know that I am God.” “I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Isaiah 40:31 tells us:

“But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”

Have patience, beloved.  Waiting may be hard but it is worth it in the end. This week let us be willing to learn how to boldly soar like the Eagle as we wait patiently upon the Lord regardless of our circumstances be it the ticking of the biological clock, the number of bridesmaids dresses in our closets, the statistics that are so depressing or what our beloved family thinks of us.  Let us put everything in the capable hands of our Precious Father, “Our Daddy’s got this!”

LET’S PRAY

Precious Father, we come before you this week empty and waiting for you to fill us with your Holy Spirit.  As we learn how to be Ladies of Patience, we ask you to help us because waiting is not easy; we admit that this is a struggle for most of us.  However, we don’t want to hurry and go ahead of you because that is worse than waiting up you.  Father, you know what is best for us; we are not single because you don’t love us but because you want what’s best for us.  Teach us to content and wait upon you.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

 YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Write out the things that make you lose patience. Which of these cause your Sovereign God concern? Give these concerns to Him and ask Him to help you trust while you wait. “I will trust while I wait, for my God is never late” is a good motto.

Be Blessed

Jackie

Our Next Single Women’s Online Bible Study

“Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”

by John & Stasi Eldgredge

Begins January 6, 2013

To sign up for this Online Bible Study, click HERE and follow the instructions. You will also be given a link to where you can purchase this bible study. We’re looking forward to studying “Captivating” with you!!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Wait – Ditches of Discontentment

November 20, 2012 by

 

“Then Naomi said, ‘Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today’” (Ruth 3:18 NIV).

Wouldn’t you want to have a mother-in-law like Naomi on your side to give you words of wisdom when it comes to matters concerning marriage?  Especially when the most eligible bachelor in town has told you that He would do whatever you want.

Waiting for what you want is difficult but it is the most rewarding thing any single woman can do in order to avoid discontentment.  So many of us have been led on by men who made promises which they knew they would not keep.

Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones address ways that we as women have been defrauded by such men of ill intention.  The word to defraud means to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

Many of us have fallen prey to men who have whispered sweet nothings to us and we have been led to believe that we are the center of their world only to found out later on that we were not the only ones these words were being spoken to.  I know of a man who called every girl “sweetheart” or “sweetie”.  When asked how many sweethearts he had he explained that he called his sister “sweetheart” so he considered every girl his sister.  Imagine the heartbreak of the girls when they heard that he thought of them as his sisters and not something more.

There is a recent type of defrauding that is going on called “friends with benefits” where boys and girls especially in colleges, or young men and women do not set any boundaries as to what they do in their relationships.  They even move in together and live as if they married.  The sad part about this set up is the emotions that a young woman puts into such a relationship.  I don’t believe a young woman can live with a man, share everything including a bed and say that such a relationship has “no strings attached”.  There are strings attached to this, where you like it or not, your heart is not detached to you when you are living in this environment.  A woman cannot be honest with herself if she says she is content living in this situation.  What happens when the man decides he is not ready to move this further and he is happy with the status quo?  Where does that live you?  Honestly which man wouldn’t be happy when he finds hot food on his table every time he arrives home from work or class, clean clothes nicely folded for him to pick and wear?  You literally wait on him hand and foot yet the only word he said was “let’s move in together” and not “let’s get married.”  The man gains everything at the expense of the woman who gives more than herself to play house with a man.

Unfortunately, this scenario is not only found in Hollywood movies but even among the Christian circles.  Many single women are falling into this trap which only leads to discontentment.  The Lord does not want us to sell ourselves short because we feel time is not our side.  Let us wait upon the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts.  Running ahead of the Lord will only lead us to discontentment and we will want to dig a hole and hide because we find ourselves in a situation where we wonder how we got there in the first place.

Naomi did not want Ruth to be overly excited and begin making orders for her “Vera Wang” wedding dress or choosing who is going to be her maid of honor or to begin planning a guest list.  She wanted her to wait and see how things will turn out with Boaz.  This is one woman to be applauded for having such wisdom.  Imagine if the other kinsman redeemer was willing to redeem Ruth and she has already told the world who she was going to marry!

When we are in a dating relationship, it’s so difficult to heed to the wise words of others; we seem to be walking on cloud nine and whenever someone says something we do not like we close our ears and words of wisdom enter through one ear and go out of the other ear.  It’s like all over sudden we are deaf to advise.  All we want to hear is how we look great together and how beautiful our children will be.  We only surround ourselves with people who agree with us and not those who want to tell us to slow down and concentrate on building a friendship.  It’s sad to hear “I told you so” when we come face to face with failed relationship.

As our writers clearly puts it:  “Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. This creates emotional turmoil for many women, making it difficult to wait with contentment. Postpone talk of a future together, marriage, or what kind of home you want, until engagement. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.”

Let us not fall into ditches of discontentment by allowing every Jim and Jack to mess with our hearts.  Don’t become too desperate so as to fall prey to their schemes.   Let us guard our hearts because out of them springs of water will flow.  Let us wait for what God has in store for us for Proverbs 10:22 says “the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, we thank you so much for you love us so much that you want us live a life that is full and content.  Jesus came that we should have life in abundance.  However, we also let the enemy use others to come and steal, kill and destroy the joy and contentment that you died for us to have.  Help us to take back this joy so that we may wait patiently for what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A contented woman has the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing life on her terms. Are you a contented woman? (Read Judges 21:25, Luke 1:38, and Matthew 26:39.)

Be Blessed,

Jackie

___________________

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Contentment (Reading Assignment)

November 18, 2012 by

 

Precious girlfriends, how are you doing?  I hope you are allowing the truths that we are learning in this Bible study transform your life to the glory of the Lord.  I am so blessed to hear from some of you how the study is making you grow into the women that God wants you to be.  I can also testify that this book is life changing and I am learning so many new things from each chapter.

This week we are going to learn how to become a Lady of Contentment.  This chapter will help us answer questions like – How does one become content as a single woman in a world full of couples?  How do you help a friend who starts planning a wedding just after a first date?  Have you been defrauded by yourself or a boyfriend?  Do you know what the Eleventh Commandment is?

The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 teaches us the Secret to Contentment.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

__________________________

Here is our reading assignment for Week 8

November 19:

Lady of Contentment / Torture of Desire / Capacity to Wait – Michelle


November 20:

Wait / Ditches of Discontentment – Jackie


November 21:

11th Commandment / Prenuptial Fantasies – Tonya


November 22:

Spiritual Monitor – Tonya


November 23:

Mystery of Contentment / Stop Arguing with the Umpire – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Our Heavenly Father, we thank You each day for leading us to this Bible Study.  Thank You for teaching us new truths that are helping us become the women You desire us to be.  As we continue in this study, we ask You to continue to transform our minds so that we can be content with our lives as the Apostle Paul was.  We ask all this in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Lady In Waiting: Lady of Security – Feelings of Insecurity

November 12, 2012 by

Then he [Boaz] said, “May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter.

You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:10-11).

I am in awe of the words that Boaz said to Ruth.  You can hear from his words that he is sincere and honest.  Furthermore, he is a man of integrity who did not want to take advantage of Ruth but to do right by her.  Don’t you think this man is worthy to bring home to meet your parents?  You will be rest assured that you will be secure in his love for the rest of your life.

Girlfriends, ever since we were young girls we long for security.  We placed our security in our parents to provide for us a loving, nurturing and stable environment as we grow up and discover our place in the world.  When we are ready to move out of our parents’ home, we want to make sure that we get married to someone who will love and cherish us, who will provide for us and continue to give us the security we need.  However, the reality of our lives is far from what our heart desires.  Many of us have found ourselves hurt and broken because those whom we placed our security and lives into have not met our expectations; instead they have taken us for granted.

There are so many things that cause one to become insecure and lose hope.  I cannot tackle them all here but I will discuss two of them, namely loss and disappointment.  When we lose loved ones like Naomi and Ruth did, it’s so difficult to believe that your tears and sorrow will one day turn to joy and you will find another person to love again.  Naomi’s loss caused her to feel insecure in God’s love for her; this was shown by her bitter expressions when she returned home to Bethlehem.  She asked her relatives to call her Mara instead of Naomi.  Loss brings with it doubt and despair.  Naomi hoped that she and her husband would grow old together and see their great grandchildren.  But her husband and sons died before this could happen.  She never expected that her dreams would end in tragedy and loss.

Unlike Naomi, Ruth reacted differently, she did not allow Naomi’s bitterness to rub off on her, she could have stayed at home with her mother-in-law and joined in the pity party but she knew this would not help them in any way, they needed to eat and food was not going to come on its own.  Ruth did not go out to seek a man to provide for their needs.  Instead she set out to work in order to find food for both Naomi and herself.  Through this act, Ruth found a man who would show her how to smile again, Boaz.  Ruth had found security in the God of Israel before she met Boaz and the same God took care of all her needs.  Through Boaz and Ruth’s marriage, Naomi also realized her dream of grandchildren.

Another cause of insecurity is disappointment.  As women young or old, single or married, we have gone through situations that have left us so disappointed, we just want to dig a hole and hide.  The father who promised to love and provide for us declares to our mother that he longer wishes to stay married, as such he seeks divorce and leaves us behind and never keeps his promise to come and see us, birthdays come and go without a call or a card in the mail.  We grow up, we meet the perfect guy who promises us heaven on earth takes away our most prized possession and leaves us for our best friend.  How about the woman who discovers that the man whom she married, who pledged to love and cherish her is nothing but a drunkard, and abuses her at every chance he gets.  How does one keep sanity in such circumstances and not lose faith and become so insecure and manipulative in order to have her way?

There is only one answer to all these situations, no matter how hard life becomes! I can only become a Lady of Security when I place my trust in the one who will never leave nor forsake me.  His name is JESUS!

Girlfriends, Jesus is the answer to all our insecurities, He alone can turn our mourning into gladness, our sorrow into joy, our mess into a message.  In Isaiah 61:1-3 our beloved Saviour says:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

Beloved, in order to be secure, we need Jesus to be the centre of our lives.  He should be the constant in our lives because He never changes – “He is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  He is telling us to go to him with our insecurities and lay them at his feet.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

LET’S PRAY

Father, I come to you with all my insecurities, I have been hurt and wounded by others and I have placed my security in the wrong hands.  I realize that you are the security that I long for.  Take my pain and hurt away.  I exchange my ashes for a crown of beauty, turn my mourning into gladness, I also trade my spirit of despair for a garment of praise.  Thank you Jesus for calling me an oak of righteousness.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Look at the things most important to you, the things on which you spend the most of your time and energy (e.g., appearance, money, career, family, friendships, dates). If these were taken away, how would you be affected?

Security is basing one’s life on that which cannot be taken away. Are you building your life on what makes you secure or insecure?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

__________

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Why Wait / Physical

November 6, 2012 by

 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body,

but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

When I saw my blogging assignment for this week, I began to pray because I knew what the Lord was asking me to do.  Speak and write the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.  I pray that you will open your heart to receive this truth and not feel in any way condemned.  I am writing out of love for you and to shield you from pain.

To start us off today, I want to present to you two scenarios. In the first place, have you ever wondered why when we taste something that is not to our satisfaction – we say it’s okay or it could have been better?  Or have you heard of a man or woman asking their partner to go and see a therapist because they feel that their partner is not good in bed?  The question that you would ask is this, how do you know that the food you are eating is not good or bad?  It’s because you have tasted something better!  In the same way the man or woman in the example above feels that the other is not good in bed because they have been with other people.  They are comparing their spouse with the girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s) they had in the past and they feel cheated.

Now imagine your wedding day – you have been looking forward to this day all your life, as a young woman you have dreamed how this day would be because you have been planning this for so many years.  The wedding ceremony was perfect, the food and drinks met your expectations and everyone is going to talk about how beautiful you looked for weeks or months to come.  Now come the wedding night – the honeymoon suite and everything else is so beautiful.  The mood is set for a wonderful evening but afterwards your husband asks you “honey, I thought I was your first!” Can you dare to look at him in the eye and say, I am sorry?

Let me also share some of the questions we received as leaders of the singles group I led at our church: –

How much is too much? –

We are engaged to be married, is it okay to spend the night at his place? –

I love him so I feel it is right to have sex with him as a way of expressing my love, is this ok? –

All my friends do it, why not me?  I will repent and God will forgive me. –

You don’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive.  What if you find out that the person you have married has a deformity in this area?

At first I couldn’t believe I was getting these questions from young men and women who were Christians because I was naïve to think that “church folk” that were saved, who narrated the Bible back to back struggled with such issues.  I realized that if they had it together then we would not be tackling this topic.  When you are coming from the “world” you put Christians in a pedestal and expect that they know everything and don’t struggle with issues the rest of the world does. Girlfriends, when the Bible says “FLEE” it means “RUN”.  This is not the time to be asking if it should be a splint or a big walk or if it’s time to put on running shoes or wait until the water has reached the neck.   You just run!  I am saying this to address the above questions.  Don’t allow yourself to be in a compromising position and expect to stop when it becomes too much.  Our Father loves us so much and does not want us to get hurt as such He warns us to flee from such situations.

I am not sure if you have thought of having sex outside of marriage as sinning against your own body?  Well to be honest with you back then I didn’t know but now I know.  And although I also know that God has forgiven me, the sin has been laid at the cross and buried in the grave, I still have to live with the consequences of my past actions.  My dear sisters, I confessed Christ as my Lord and Savior at 19 but I never really gave all of my life to him.  As a young woman, I bought into the ideologies of the world and lived and did as I pleased.  I had one foot in the church and the other in the world.  I believed that if I loved someone then to express how much I love him, I had to sleep with him.  I wish I knew better.  I wish someone gave me this book to read back then. Beloved what you do now may look harmless but know for sure that you will reap the fruits of your actions.  “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.” Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones highlights that God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings. These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

These are just some of the physical reasons: –

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage. God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. –

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband. –

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility. A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicates the consequences.

I pray that you will not fall into the trap of “if you love me then you will sleep with me” like I did. Honor God with your body as much as you honor Him with everything else. For someone who has already gone all the way.  I pray that you will ask God for forgiveness and commit to be pure from this day forward.  The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Old habits, old fears, old addictions may approach and afflict us and sometimes we may want to turn back to them. But God is saying to us, “Fix your eyes on Me! If you will let Me be your victory, we will see the last of that.”

Listen to what God is saying!

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come before you with a broken and contrite heart.  I ask you to forgive me for sinning against you and my body.  I want a new start from this day forward.  I make this commitment to you and my future husband.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?

Be Blessed,
Jackie
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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Purity

November 4, 2012 by

 

My beloved girlfriends, I thank God each day for giving me this opportunity to take this amazing journey with you.  What a blessing it is to study with you.  This book is so full of life changing truths.  Each chapter is rich with honesty and makes one to really look at life in a different perspective.

Our chapter for this week, Lady of Purity is no different.  My prayer is that we will allow God to open our eyes and eyes of faith so that we can receive what He has for us.

Purity is a “sensitive” subject among us Christians because of the world we live in but as children of God we are to remain pure as the bride of Christ.  But what happens when we have given away our most treasured gift?  I don’t want to preempt things.  Why don’t you join us this week as we dig deep into this chapter?

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Here is our reading assignment for Week 7

November 5:

Lady of Purity, Deadly Deception – Michelle

November 6:

Why Wait / Physical – Jackie

November 7:

Emotional, Relational / Spiritual – Tonya

November 8:

Guarding the Treasure – Katie

November 9:

What if it’s Too Late – Diane

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LET’S PRAY

Our God and our Father, thank you so much for being with us in this journey.  Lord, may you be with us this week as we deal with this subject of purity.  We want to be Ladies of Purity in each and every area of our lives and we cannot do it without your help.  Holy Spirit soften our hearts to receive what you have for us.  In Jesus Name Amen.

Be Blessed

Jackie

For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

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Lady in Waiting: Lady of Devotion

October 29, 2012 by

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Girlfriends, today, I want us to go on a journey to the place where it all began, to the Garden of Eden.  Let’s go back when everything was beautiful, pure and unstained.  Before sin entered the world.  We meet a beautiful woman named Eve.  Can you imagine how the first woman ever to be created looked like.  She had no one to compare her looks with.  God created her not as an afterthought but as the ultimate work of art.  This is just my opinion, but I must say when God created Eve, He must have showed her off to everyone present.

Adam and Eve had the best of everything life could offer, the perfect place to live, food in its abundance and the best and most loving Father anyone could dream about.  Can you imagine what it was like talking and walking with God in the cool of the day?  The Creator of the Universe taking His time to have fellowship with the two people created in His image, teaching them everything they needed to know about life.  Eve just like every woman must have listened attentively and dreamt that one day she would share what she was learning with her children.  This is what we call “the fullness of devotion.”

How I wish life could just remain forever like this without what happened next.  How the same woman was deceived by the Devil to question her devotion to her Lord.  Just like Eve most of us have been deceived to doubt how much the Lord loves us because time is going and we have not yet met the love of our life, or the one whom we gave our body, mind and soul has told us he has found someone else and leaves our heart so scarred that we feel no one else will ever love us again.

This is how Naomi felt when she left Moab to return to Jerusalem, she left Jerusalem so full of life but she returned empty.  “She said to them, ‘Do not call me Naomi [pleasant]; call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. …the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?’ ” (Ruth 1:20-21).

Our devotion to the Lord should not depend on our past experiences, present circumstances, or our parents’ devotion or lack thereof may cause us to have an incorrect view of God.  Life is so full of trials.  We experience pain, loss, fear, and so much more.  People will hurt us in ways that we could never think of.  However, to take what life and people have done to us and think that God will do the same to us is a misconception.  Don’t allow guilt, fear, your inabilities or imperfections to cause you to hold back from receiving what God has in store for you.

The Love of God is so much different and it cannot be compared to human love.  When we want to know how much God loves us, we should look to the cross.  How God spared His only Son, Jesus Christ to redeem us from our sins.  It took Jesus Christ to die for us in order for us to return to the “Garden of Eden.”  In order for us to regain the devotion we lost when Adam and Eve sinned.

God loves us so much that each day He waits for us to go to Him to have that fellowship with Him, He longs to hear about the plans we have made.  He longs to share with us what plans he has for us as He says in Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you hope and a future.”

“As a single woman, you have a wonderful opportunity to use your time to maximize your fellowship with God. When you love someone, you give them your heart, the center of your being. God asks for no less.  He desires a totally devoted heart.  Deuteronomy 6:5 says that you are to love Him with all your heart (deepest devotion), your soul (what you think and what you feel), and your might (your strength and energy).”

Furthermore, “as a woman, you have been created with a desire to be known—not just in a physical or general way, but deeply known and intimately loved. If you are hoping a man will one day fill your heart’s desire for intimacy, you will be disappointed. God knows your deep longings for intimate love. Only He, the Lover of your soul, can fill this need completely. Your heavenly Father tenderly created you with needs that only God can fully understand and fulfill. As you come to know who He really is, He will meet your needs for love.”

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LET’S PRAY

Lord, I come to you to ask for forgiveness, there are times when my devotion to you has died because of what life and others have done to me.  Father, forgive me for comparing your love with the love of those around me.  I realize that you love me unconditionally, you long to have fellowship with me each day, and your thoughts towards me are not of evil but good.  Create in me a clean heart Lord and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Restore to me the joy of my salvation.  May I know you intimately, personally and devotedly.  Take me back to the Garden of Eden.  In Jesus Name Amen.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Meditate on your picture of God.  Has a wrong picture of God been invented by the enemy in order to rob you of a true knowledge and love of God?  Read Psalm 103: 8 – 14 to help you with the wrong assumptions that you have about God.

 

Be Blessed,

Jackie

 

 

______________________________

 For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

 

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Lady In Waiting: The Body Beautiful Trap

October 23, 2012 by


“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”1 Peter 3:3-5 NIV

It is so amazing to note that the Bible touches on every subject that pertains to a woman’s needs; beauty being one of them.  Yet how many of us refer to this awesome book when it comes to issues affecting our beauty?  If we did then glossy magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and many others would have closed their doors due to lack of business.

Reading the above verse over and over again, I am beginning to understand that it’s not the “how to” articles in the magazines that will help me become beautiful.  The word of God is the best “how to” book ever.  The magazines will not only confuse me but also make me feel like I am not good enough because I am not as slim as the cover girl or my bank balance does not add up in order for me to buy the trendy clothes that are being advertised.  As holiday season draws near, magazines will carry articles such as “how to eat all you can and not gain weight”, “how to look great in last year’s party dress”, “how to impress that guy in time for the thanksgiving trip to visit your family.”  Almost every article you read in these magazines is about looking good, feeling great and getting the man of your dreams.

Every day we women are bombarded with these messages from morning till evening.  Even when you want to buy a car, the advert is not centered on the car but the kind of woman driving it.  She has the most beautiful smile, flawless skin and a body that most of us only dream about.

The single woman is not exempt, especially when it comes to meeting the right guy, friends analyze you and tell you the reasons you remain dateless, some will advise you to lose weight, others will advise you to do a complete makeover of your wardrobe – “you dress like an old lady, how do you expect to meet a guy wearing such flabby clothes?”, others will criticize you for not being found at the right places – “you don’t go out often, do you expect prince charming to dream that you live in this corner of the world?”  Your friends may mean well but their suggestions are contrary to what the word of God says.  Yes, you need to look good and feel good about yourself but looks alone will not go the extra mile.  As Jackie Kendall puts it “If a man chose me for external beauty, his destiny would be hugging a prune. But, if a man chooses me for my internal beauty, his destiny will be unfading beauty even in the twilight years of marriage, because of Jesus.”

What does this internal beauty look like?  What was it that Boaz saw in Ruth that made him to go to the elders at the town gate to ask to be the Kinsman Redeemer?  What was so special about this foreign lady who I am sure didn’t even bother with make up when she went to the field to pick up left over grain to make this wealth owner inquire about her?  I always picture Ruth putting on a veil above her head each morning before she left the house.   One would only see her eyes as she went about her business of finding food for her and her mother-in-law to eat.

Let us follow a conversation that took place when Ruth and Boaz met albeit for the first time.  “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?”  Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband – how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.  May the Lord repay you for what you have done.  May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”  Ruth 2:10-12.

Ruth won Boaz’s heart by her act of kindness, not how she looked, I am sure she was a beautiful woman but at the time she met Boaz, in the field, it had nothing to do with how she looked.

Girlfriends, the little or mundane things that you do for others are a testimony to your inner or internal beauty,  the times you help an elderly lady with groceries; when you hold the door for others to pass, when you give your seat to someone else in crowded room or help out others in need do not go unnoticed.  You don’t know who is watching and falling in love with your character.

“When you look at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see God’s picture of a beautiful woman. There are 20 verses describing her.  Only one verse mentions her outward appearance. If you were to spend 1/20 of your time on outward physical beauty and the other 19/20 on developing the other qualities God describes as beautiful, such as wisdom, kindness, and godliness, you would become the excellent woman Proverbs 31:10 says a man should try to find.”

Remember “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

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LET’S PRAY

Father, I pray that as your daughters, we will not fall prey to the trap that the enemy and the world have set for us about how we look.  We are beautiful in your sight; we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Help us to set our minds on things above and develop the qualities that you describe as beautiful.  We are vessels of honor ready to be used by you my Father.  May we live our lives as examples for others to follow.  In Jesus Name Amen.

 

Your Assignment:  

In the comments section below, please tell us: 

What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman?

In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour?

What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?

Be Blessed,

Jackie

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For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.

 

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
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