November 5, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 11/ Day 1 – Be Ready to Hear God’s Voice

December 10, 2012 by

Phil 1_9_10

The first question Ava asks us this week is have you ever heard the voice of God.  When I was your age I don’t think I ever thought God had a voice.  I surely never heard Him talk to me.  For as much as I prayed to God I never thought of it as a communication; one in which God would actually talk back to me!  As I grow in my relationship with God my favorite moments with Him are when He is talking to me.  Do you believe God talks to us?  Have you ever thought what His voice sounds like?

I have come to find out that His voice sounds like a powerful song full of God’s truths.  His voice sounds like scripture found in God’s living Word.  His voice sounds like my mother, sister, or godly friend who speaks God’s truth and encouragement to me from time to time.  His voice sounds like my grandmother’s letters to me.  All of the ways he talks to me have one thing in common.  God’s voice is found in His truth.  There are lots of things in this world that are filled with God’s truth we just have to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to them.  God’s voice is found differently to everyone, but when you find it you will hear the same thing, His truth!

How do we go about opening up to hear from God?  I just recently have figured this one out, and I continue to learn as I spend time with God.  It is all about the relationship that we have with God.  When I was your age I did not understand what having a relationship with God was.  When I found out that God desired to have a relationship with me, it changed my life!  When I started embracing the relationship I could have with God, I started to open my heart, eyes, and ears to what the Bible had to say about this relationship.  I started knowing God as my God and not just as a God.  I also found the truth of what this relationship is like through lyrics in a Christmas song by Amy Grant.

Fragile finger
Sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart
Whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born

I have heard this song over and over again for the last 10+ years, never feeling my heart ever so gently touched by the sound of these words. Last year when I heard these lyrics for the first time in the Christmas season I actually shed a tear knowing the Lord was speaking to me through these words. How beautiful, how precious is our Savior. Tiny heart whose blood will save us and it has, and it will forevermore. How blessed I am to have accepted such a sacrifice. I thank the Lord for bringing me to the point where I am today; as hard as it was. I am to the point where I understand that I will never fully understand the depth of those words, the pain and love behind every one of them.  Have you accepted the beautiful sacrifice of Jesus’ blood?  Are you living in a personal relationship with God?

Are you wondering what a relationship with God looks like?  The relationship itself is different for everyone but there is one factor that is the same with everyone-God.  The only places we can go to find out who He is and what He is like is in the Bible or in praying to Him.  The more time we spend with Him the more we are ready to hear from Him.  When we believe who God is, when we are confident in His truths that is when we are ready to hear from Him!

Really think about how amazing it would be if you could hear from God all of the time.  Wondering what you should do about a situation in your life?  Wondering what is right and what is wrong?  Wondering who you should talk to about this or that?  God has all of the answers for you.  He is willing to tell you what to do, what is right, and is the one we should be talking to about everything in our lives.  It may seem too good to be true.  Do we really have access to a perfect best friend?  One who will always be there for us, and always lead us towards Heaven.  It is true, we do have access daily to our perfect best friend, Jesus.

It is my prayer that you find your relationship with God.  It is my prayer that you desire to hear God’s voice in your life, daily.

Philippians 1:9-10 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight,  so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.

Think about where you need to hear God’s voice in your life.  What are you unsure of or needing answers for?  Do what the Bible tells us to do, grow in Christ’s love gaining HIS knowledge and HIS depth of insight so that you may be able to hear HIS voice in your life!

Let’s Pray:  Lord, I thank you for the privilege we have in prayer.  We get to communicate with the creator of the Heavens and the Earth.  Even better, we get to hear back from you!  Thank you for guiding us and speaking to us exactly what we need to hear.  I ask that the hearts of these girls are open to accepting your love and voice in their life.  We thank you for the relationship we have with you!  We love you so much, Amen!

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 10 / Day 2 – Keep Your Life Clean

December 4, 2012 by

 

I talked to my girls about some of the names girls get called when they try to live out their life for God.  I added a few ‘old school’ words I heard when I was in school, too.  Things haven’t changed so much.  See if these look familiar:

Teacher’s Pet                                       Party Pooper                                        Weak

Goodie 2 Shoes                                   Kill Joy                                                  Stuck Up

Know It All                                           Buzz Kill                                                Goody Goody

Nerd                                                      Lame                                                  Add Yours Here

When people think about you, what kind of words come to mind?  I look over this list of words meant to hurt and cause peer pressure.  They say these words to make themselves feel okay about the way they are choosing to live their lives, not so much about the way a “good girl” lives hers.  So look back over that list again.  Is there really anything bad on that list?  Is there anything there that would cause God to be ashamed of your behavior?  Can you bring glory to God as you live your life…even if people call you names like that?   I know you have heard the words that “Bad Girls” get called.  Think about that list.  Is God glorified if you are living a “bad girl” kind of lifestyle?

At this point in our study, we have learned what God expects of us as a Daughter of the King.  We know how to bring our earthly parents joy and we know how to make our Heavenly Father happy.  It’s time to live out our faith in God.  There may still be some bad habits we have, or some areas in our lives we need to turn away from.  Look how easy it is to change:

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Psalms 51:10

When your heart is clean, your thoughts will change, your actions will change, people will notice.  In today’s lesson of A Daughter’s Worth, Ava Sturgeon says, “After accepting Christ, you begin to desire the clean heart that He provides. “  Then Ava encourages us:  “Sharing Christ is so much easier when you become a living testimony.” 

For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.  Luke 6:45b

Live YOUR Faith.  It’s impossible to give away something you don’t have.  Make sure the people in your life can see the change Jesus has made.  You won’t be perfect, but you will be forgiven and can begin each day fresh and new.  Show love, kindness, compassion and generosity.  There will be a different list of words people will say about you.  Words that truly do bring glory to God, the Father and words that you WILL NOT be embarrassed by.

Before we go, I want to remind you of ways to Keep Your Life Clean:

•Put God first. This means making the commitment to seek God.

•Finding ways to be a blessing. “Being a Blessing” means taking the focus off yourself and placing it onto someone else.

•Acting right on purpose. This means treating people with kindness, respect, and patience, even those that are hard to love.  Right behavior is Christianity in action.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,  We want to bring glory to You.  We want others to see Your life shining through us.  Create in us a clean heart.  Give us the desire to remove those bad habits from our lives and live for You.  Help us to treat others with kindness, respect and patience.  Help us as we walk out our faith, especially on the hard days.  We love You Lord.  AMEN

Be A Blessing,

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button located at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH: decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth Week: 10 / Day 1 – Have a Story to Tell

December 3, 2012 by

When I was younger I was never certain I was going to Heaven.  I asked Jesus into my heart when I was five, but I could not say without a shadow of doubt that I would go to Heaven one day.  I was not ready for what that simple prayer I prayed at the wee age of five would do for me.  Though, I soon found out what I was not doing for that prayer.  There were days I would pray that prayer over and over, worrying that I said it wrong or didn’t mean it and had to keep saying it to make sure that there was no chance I was missing out on Heaven.  I spent a decent amount of time praying that God would save me, but from what I was not sure, and from where I was praying-no clue, all I was sure of was it was not coming from the sincerity of my heart.

Today, I can confidently say that I belong to God, and that I will be in Heaven one day.  It took me a long time to believe those words in my heart.  What about you?  Do you believe that you will be in Heaven one day?  Do you belong to God’s family?  If there is even a hint of doubt in your answer to those questions will you please reach out to a leader or pastor!  I cannot begin to explain to you the importance of praying with your heart the prayer of Salvation.  Simply believing that God sent HIS ONLY Son to DIE on a CROSS for YOU AND ME and then ROSE from the DEAD three days later; asking for forgiveness of your many sins and accepting JESUS into your HEART to help guide you and follow HIM, will not only guarantee your entrance to the gates of Heaven one day BUT it is also the start of the perfect story you have with the GOD of the UNIVERSE!

Have you ever thought about your story?  God already has a beautiful story written for you and Him to share together.  In this story you will grow closer to Him, learning to depend on Him for all of your needs.  Everyone’s story is different.  Everyone’s story has potential.  We are the ones that have to choose to embrace the pages of our stories.  It is not enough to just sit back and watch the pages turn.  We must act out on what we feel in our hearts.  We were told to read Acts 22:15-16 today.  Let’s take a look at it.

You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard.  And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

Do not get discouraged if you have not seen or heard from God lately or ever!  It is never too late to change your path and go another way…leading to Jesus.  The more time you spend with Him in prayer, reading the Bible, getting involved in church, etc. the more you will see Him and hear His gentle whispers in your life.  This life is short.  Those of us who know Jesus and call on His name, we are all saved by the blood of Jesus.  We will all get to live the life we were intended for in Heaven with Jesus one day!  Until then, we MUST flee sin and run into the Lord’s arms!  We must take advantage of this life as short as it is and use it as an opportunity to share our stories with others.

I know for certain God did not save me from a life of complete misery just to leave my story on a pretty shelf.  He saved me so that I may share my story; being a light to others and helping others find Jesus as they hear each chapter.  Today, I leave you with a piece of my story; I pray that you share pieces of yours in our discussion group!  One thing I know is that when we let God into our hearts, he transforms our stories into something amazingly beautiful!  I cannot wait to hear what God has done and will do in each and every one of your lives!

Little Tid-Bit of my Love Story with God

I am so thankful that I asked the Lord into my heart when I was 5.  Even though I was not certain what that meant, the Lord heard my words and he never ever left my heart especially when I turned from Him.  When I turned from Him it was the worst time in my life.  One night after too much heartbreak, I cried out to Him and asked Him to help me.  I was not expecting anything but to my surprise, God heard my cry, and helped me.  He protected me and saved me from a life of misery.  He is faithful!  I rededicated my life to the Lord. He is the love story I was always searching for.  I always thought I needed a man, but they all left me feeling empty inside.  When I embraced God, I found His love that fills every possible crevice in my heart and overflows into the lives of so many others that need so desperately to find HIS love.

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Let’s Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, thank You honestly does not seem like enough to show the gratitude I have in my heart for what You alone have done for each and every one of us.  I ask that any girl who is reading this post and does not know You as her personal Savior, will find You and start embracing Your story for herself.  I ask that each one of these girls feels confident in the salvation You have given them, freely.  I pray that these girls truly live out the story You have prepared for them.  Bring opportunities into their precious lives to share their stories with others.  We love You Lord, oh so much and we cannot wait to see You in Heaven one day!!  Amen.

Love to my dear sisters in Christ,

Diane

For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9/ Day 4 – Peer Relationships are Difficult

November 29, 2012 by

 

Peer Relationships are Difficult

I was always the type of girl who stayed to myself, until I got grown. I was a very shy young lady :-/ It wasn’t that I didn’t want friends, because I had them; it was just that my friendship circle was small. I valued my friendships, but like I said before, I was shy and wasn’t comfortable being around a lot of people. I don’t know, maybe some of you are like that too. I can’t say that I was a social butterfly like my two sisters were, and are, but I had some friends who were very close and dear to my heart.

Whenever you are in any kind of relationship, it has its potential of being difficult at any given time. You can be so close to someone that it can get to a point where maybe some of the things that they have always said or did, may begin to bother you, or get under your skin. We are being honest…right? Well, for me, that is true. I am the type of person that when I am bothered by something, I would never say anything about what bothered me, and girls, that is so not good! Learn from me!!! If something is bothering you about someone, go to them. It will be hard, and yes, you all have heard me say this before, but it will be beneficial to your relationships and friendships.

I can hear God saying…  “Is anything too hard for Me? NO! Nothing is EVER too hard for Me!!!”

Peer relationships can be difficult because these are the people that you possibly spend as much time with, as you do your own family, so that means that you are so close to these people that sometimes you can get on each other’s nerves, but that is okay.  Love each other enough to always make amends.  Anytime that you are really close to someone, small problems will happen from time to time…arguing, being upset with each other, etc…

Peers that you may not be so close to…you know…the ones that may pick at you or get on your nerves, all I can say is do what I KNOW works…pray, pray, pray for them! God will handle those types of peer relationships as well.

 

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord thank You for the girls that You have placed in GCH: Decaf. Help them to remember that You love them oh so much and that You want what is best for them. When they start to feel like the relationships that they are in become too stressful for them, remind them to gently come to You and place those relationships at Your feet and You will take care of them. I seal this prayer with the name of Your precious Son Jesus. Amen.

Love,

Tonya

 

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Online Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email GCH_Decaf@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 3 – Teacher Relationships Are Challenging

November 28, 2012 by

I am honestly so thankful for the teachers I had throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years. With each teacher, I was challenged in a different way. Did I like it at the time? Not always. Did I always see eye to eye with every teacher I had? Absolutely NOT!

But throughout my school years, and especially as I got older, I learned the importance of submitting to authority. There were definitely some times when I felt a teacher was being unfair, and then there were some times when I felt a teacher wasn’t teaching. In both cases, I had to learn that it is THEIR classroom, not mine. They were given this job for a reason, and they were there to help me become the best student I could be. Romans 13:1 says, “…for there is no authority except that which God has established.”

I didn’t always agree with a teacher when they assigned a paper on a Monday that was due on a Friday. I threw many tantrums in those instances, I assure you. But I had to do it. School was my job at the time. Was it supposed to be number one in my life? Absolutely NOT. I would often say, “God loves me regardless of my grades.” Very true, but God also wants me to do everything with excellence. Perfection? Nope. Excellence… To the very best of my ability. Did I do that? Honestly, no. I wish that I had, though. School was where the Lord wanted me at the time. And it was my responsibility to get things done.

Part of being the best student you can be is respecting your teachers. It takes a little while at the beginning of the year to know what a teacher’s expectations are or how they like certain things done, but once you figure those things out, you should try your best to do your work in a way that would please them. By respecting them and submitting to their authority, you are honoring your Father in Heaven. And who knows, the way you act toward your teachers may show THEM or your peers the love of Jesus.

Pray with me-

God, THANK YOU for our teachers! Thank You for placing people in our lives that challenge us and want us to do our best. Lord, give us patience and compassion when our teachers do not do things how we think they should be done. Give us Your heart toward them and our school work. In the future, place teachers in our paths that will challenge us in the best way and will teach us to be loving and compassionate. Amen

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 2 – Extracurricular Activities are Stressful

November 27, 2012 by

 

Extracurricular Activities are Stressful

When I was younger, much younger, I had BIG dreams.  I felt that God had BIG PLANS for my life…but I was stuck.  At least I felt stuck.  I began seeking God and His plans for me when I was about 12 years old and continued to watch for Him through my teens.  It wasn’t always easy to stay on the straight path and sometimes I strayed.  Having too many extracurricular activities was not a problem where I grew up.  There was nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to do.  Boredom can steal your focus from God just as much as being too busy can.  As I began parenting my girls, I wanted them to experience all that God’s world had to offer.  I wanted them to be able to try things and see where their passions would lie.  I wanted them to grow up with few regrets of things that might have been.

We tried various sports, dance, clubs, groups, camps and mission trips.  We went on field trips, read books and traveled.  Hopefully the girls were able to experience things in their lives that would point them to their God-given passions and abilities.  I encouraged the girls to try everything at least once and the things they liked…DO IT AGAIN.

When middle school came I asked the girls to do everything they had any interest in, but by high school they had to pick one interest.  My daughter Michele tried basketball, clubs, band and peer tutoring.  Lindsay didn’t really have any interests in and around school, she wanted to dance ballet.  Robin is sports-gifted so she tried tennis, basketball, cross-country, soccer, a little bit of golf and band.  By the time high school came around, Michele had dropped band and sports, but kept her grades high and found that she loved to help kids learn.  Lindsay still didn’t like the organization of school much, but loved her ballet classes.  Now she is enjoying being able to choose her college classes on her schedule much better than high school.  Robin chose to play soccer, keep her grades high and volunteer her time at church.

These are only three daughters from the same family with the same values seeking to find their place in God’s family.  It gets crazy at our house trying to balance everyone’s schedule, but the most important thing is to keep God FIRST and all the other STUFF falls into place.  Our family MOTTO is “You have time for what you make time for”.  If God says, “Where’s MY time?” the answer better not be “I didn’t have time”.  He gave up something pretty important for you, so you should be willing to give up a little something for HIM.

There is a famous quote from George Bernard Shaw: “Youth is Wasted On the Young”.  I think it is famous because all of us old people wish we had YOUR energy and potential with OUR wisdom and we would have made better choices when we had the chance.  In the Bible…in Ecclesiates, King Solomon says that it is good to be young and enjoy life.  Solomon lived life to the fullest.  He tried everything under the sun and you know what he found out???  It’s all meaningless unless GOD is there.

Take every opportunity to try new things and meet new people.  Put God first and let him light the way to those new things.  You will NEVER regret one minute following God.  You WILL regret leaving him out.  I promise.  Don’t waste your youth being stupid.  Your life is a GIFT, give it back to God and see what He wants to make of it.

What you ARE is God’s gift to you.  What you make of it is your gift to God.

Let’s PRAY:

Dear Father, Thank you for the gift of this life and the opportunities in it.  Thank you for giving us individual passions and desires that aren’t like anyone else’s.  Help us to find our place in your BIG family.  Help us find balance when life seems overwhelming, stressful and gets us down.  We know you love us and forgive us when we fail.  Help us to forgive ourselves and move even closer to you.  We love you.  Be patient with us as we learn to show you how much we love you with our actions.    AMEN

Be Blessed,

Mama T  <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 9 / Day 1 – Academic Expectations Are High

November 26, 2012 by

What class do you enjoy going to the most at school, the one that you do really well in?  The class I would enjoy the most would be the one where they teach you how to be a social butterfly I would have gotten straight A’s without even trying in a class like that!  Too bad that class most certainly does not exist!  In high school, we have the privilege of picking a few classes that interest us.  However, there are a ton of classes we are forced to take that may not be something we are naturally good at or interested in.   I am sure there are a ton of classes you could think of that you would love to take; it’s just that your school does not offer them as an option.

In school, I always had to work really hard to get straight A’s.  A’s did not come naturally for me.  I did receive mostly A’s but I always wished I would have received all A’s.  Then maybe my parents would have been more excited when I brought home a report card.  Maybe then, I would have felt better about my academics compared to other students in my grade.  In high school, I truly felt tons of pressure to keep up with the smartest students and get straight A’s.  I am very thankful that our Perfect Teacher above does not get discouraged with us when we miss an A here or there.  Our Teacher in Heaven is pleased when He looks down and sees His precious students using their time wisely, studying hard, and doing the absolute best work they can do, bringing glory to God always!

I love when Ava reminds us, “The Father promises that although you may fall temporarily, He will never let you stay defeated.”   It is so true!  If we have done the best we could and still receive anything but an A, we do not need to let our own disappointment get the best of us.  We do not need to live in defeat over anything other than A’s.

We learned in today’s lesson that we must be strong and courageous and do the work, even the work we may not enjoy.  I believe the work that we do not enjoy doing we should pray about.  Think about all of the subjects in school that you do not enjoy one bit.  Ask God to help you find interest in those subjects.  He can turn those not so interesting classes into the ones we wish existed!  We have the power to pray to God to help us concentrate on tests, and help us to use our time wisely as we study.  Let’s thank God for His presence in every aspect of our life…even school!

When we set high expectations for all A’s or feel the pressure of expectations others may have for you, please remember this simple truth:  If you fail to reach those expectations you will only fall into God’s open arms full of comfort, love, and strength to get back up and try again!  God may watch you fall but He will always help you up again.  You may not reach all A’s but with God’s help you will reach a lot more A’s then you would without Him!  When you work your hardest at school for God, even if you do not get an A on paper, God sees an A for your best effort!

Let’s Pray: 

Lord, I thank you for helping us at school.  I pray that as these girls go through the pressure of getting straight A’s that you help them keep their focus on doing their best for you…whatever grade that may be, in your eyes their best is always an A.  Help each one of these girls to rely on you for help.  I pray they are strong and courageous and desire to work hard always for you in everything they do.  Thank you Lord for allowing us to learn new things every day!  We love you and praise YOU, Amen!

Love, Diane

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 3 – You Can Go Too Far

November 21, 2012 by

I don’t think I could even begin to count how many times I have heard the question, “How far is too far?” And if I never have to hear that question again, it’ll be too soon. With that being said, that question has come out of my mouth. I have such a problem with this question because it is basically asking how much we can get away with. And how many times have we asked or heard someone say, “…well, the Bible only says that sex itself is wrong before marriage… It doesn’t say anything about the other stuff.” WRONG-O. Ephesians 5:3 says that the Lord wants there to be “not even a HINT of sexual immorality” in our lives.

I will be the first to admit that I did not value or protect my purity when I was in my teens. Did I have sex? No. Did I make allowances for the “other stuff”? Yes. I am being honest with you girls because I do not want you to be deceived like I was! I do not want you to think, “Well, it isn’t sex so it’s okay.” This is SO not true! It is NOT okay. Here’s why… When you start to bring the physical stuff into a relationship outside of marriage it BLINDS you and prevents you from seeing the reality of your relationship. That means that you can’t even tell if you really even like this guy! Another reason it’s not okay- The world tells you that only sex forms an attachment to a man. I can tell you first hand, that is false. You also, at some point, deal with shame and guilt.

If you’re like me and have had that “How did I get here?” moment, you know how disappointed you were. Disappointed in the boy for not stepping up and protecting your purity, but more often than not, you’re disappointed in yourself. The enemy LOVES when we have messed up and are grieving over our sin. He loves to come in and make us feel so much worse. Conviction and guilt are NOT the same thing. Conviction is from the Lord. When you are convicted about sexual purity, you know that God’s Word says to stay away from sexual immorality. And if you have taken part in sexual activity, you can repent, turn away from that sin, and run to the Lord. Guilt, on the other hand, makes you hyper-aware of your sin. You sit and you wallow in self-hatred for hours on end. And forgiving yourself? Ha! Yeah right. That never happens when we allow the enemy to make us feel guilty.

So where do we go from here if we have messed up? Or how do we prevent that from ever happening? We trust that God knows what’s best for us. He knows that it is not good for our hearts for us to take part in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knows that it will only end in heartbreak. If you’re currently having sex outside of marriage, please, please, please stop. Your Father in Heaven is not One to make rules to make us miserable. The guidelines He puts in place are to protect us, because He loves us, and He wants our future marriages to be AMAZING!! Girls, you HAVE to be intentional about setting boundaries in your dating relationships. Here are my new boundaries~ I am not going to kiss another guy until the day of my wedding. I can hear your gasps all the way from over here. I just know that I do not want the enemy to have ANY stronghold over my life, and I am not about to give him any opportunity. Set your boundaries TODAY, BEFORE you get in a relationship. Write them down. Tell them to the Lord. Tell them to a friend to hold you accountable. If a boy is pressuring you to do anything physical, I HIGHLY encourage you to get out of that relationship. You deserve to date guys who HONOR your boundaries and who have made decisions and set boundaries themselves.

Let’s pray~

Lord, Thank You for setting boundaries for us! We know that those boundaries are to protect us from heartbreak. Lord, set girls FREE who are reading this- free from sexual sin, free from the lies of the enemy! Give these girls the strength to make boundaries and stick to them. Give them armor around their hearts, that they would be guarded from any deception. Thank You for Your grace when we mess up. Thank You for freedom from sin! We praise You, Lord, for the GIFT of sex… A precious thing that is a gift if kept within the context of marriage. Give us discernment to know what is right and wrong, and give us discernment to know WHO is right and wrong for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 2 – You CAN Insist That Boys Treat You Well

November 20, 2012 by

When you CAN do something it means you are Able, Permitted, Possible, or Designed to do something.  That is pretty awesome to think that I was designed to be able to insist that people treat me well.  Does that mean that every person in my life WILL treat me well?  Uh, NO!  Do I have to accept that behavior from them?  Uh, No.  So, why would I let a boy treat me any less than God created me to be?  Uh, WOW.  Do you know what the past tense of CAN is??? COULD.   Could hurts me to say.  Could means that I made a bad choice and, if I could go back, I would change what happened.  Could usually comes with regret. 🙁

In our home, if we have a hard time deciding if something is right or wrong, we take it back to the Bible and see what it says about the subject.  When we have friends or family members who treat us poorly, we look to see if our behaviors have lined up with the scriptures.  The verses we go to about relationships is 1 Corinthians 13.  It’s called the LOVE chapter.  We all want to be loved and want to love other people, so why not seek out what LOVE is from the source, GOD.

 So the Bible says this is what love IS.  Anything that doesn’t look like this is NOT love and you can WALK the other way or INSIST to be treated with love.  Sometimes that is hard to do.  We may have to walk away from our friends or that cute guy that we want to like.  We may have to stand up for ourselves and tell our ‘friends’ (and sometimes our family) that we don’t want to be treated in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable.  When we deal with our friends and family, we also need to follow these verses and treat them with LOVE.

If a young man wants your attention and wants to love you, he will make you feel smart, funny and pretty. (And not because of what he can get from you)  He will never ask you to do anything that will make you ashamed or feel dirty. (Love does not insist on its own way, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing)  He will want you to spend time with your friends and family and would even want to hang out with you.  (Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it is not arrogant or rude)  Boyfriends should draw you closer to God, not pull you away from Him.  (Love rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things)  Boyfriends should always make you feel good inside; not sick, worthless, jealous or angry.  (Love endures all things)

When you are a teenager it is hard to find a boy that can measure up to all these standards.  Sometimes you want to lower your standards just to have someone you can call “yours”.  Each time you give your heart away, you lose a little piece of yourself.  Most teens are not able to love someone else more than they love themselves. That takes maturity and maturity comes with living life and seeking God.   It is almost impossible to find a teen boy who loves you the way God created you to be loved. It’s OK to wait for that person God has been preparing just for you.

In my family, with so many daughters, we have many different opinions on the topic of dating and boys.  Some of my daughters want to wait to have a boyfriend, to hold hands, to kiss someone; to give him her heart until she is ready to be married.  Some of my daughters enjoy having a young man to call her own and share her “life” with.  A couple have gotten tired of waiting, tried to make it happen on their own and have had broken hearts.  I love them all and continue to point them back to 1 Corinthians 13 to help them decide if they are being treated with love and if they are treating others with love.  There is no cookie cutter answer about having a boyfriend because girls are not cookies.  =D

In our study, Ava Sturgeon says, “As a daughter of worth, you should expect to be treated well.  Dating the wrong guy is a tragic waste of you.  God’s beautiful potential.”  How true!  Protect your heart.  You are going to need all those pieces of yourself.  If you find that your heart is already broken into little pieces, take them to God and let Him put them back together.  He will.  It’s not too late.  He wrote the book on LOVE, so trust Him to show you what perfect LOVE looks like.

If what you are seeing and receiving from people does not match up with what the Bible says you deserve – turn around and head back toward God.  You are on the wrong path.  That leads me back to my life verse, Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your paths”. 

You CAN insist that boys/men/parents/siblings/friends treat you well.  You CAN treat them well in return.  It’s not too late to get on the right PATH facing God’s direction.  Be blessed my friends.

Let’s Pray:

Father we thank you for creating us with the desire to be loved and to want to love others.  Lord we want someone to love us the way YOU love us.  Father, give us patience to wait on the person you are preparing for us.  Give us people in our lives who support us, care about us and protect our hearts.  We know that you are the source of all love and good things and that is what we want for ourselves and for our friends.  Help us to always look to you for guidance and keep our feet on the right path.  We love you, Lord.  Amen

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lady in Waiting: Motive Check

November 15, 2012 by

“The less I give, the more I get back.” Anyone ever heard the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars? The male and female vocalists express their misinterpretations of the others’ love. In this line the male slyly remarks on how his lack of giving actually causes the woman to give more. Ever felt that way? At times I feel that I give my whole heart, energy, and attention to the men in my life and receive little in return. Even worse, I have come to expect that I will not receive back what I put into relationships with men. Before this begins to target men as the issue and we all get up in arms about how rude they are to act that way, let’s look at the words that I used here. First of all I used ‘men”, and not ‘a man’ – I have put my time and energy into men who I am not invested in a serious relationship with, hoping that they would give me something in return. Secondly, I used ‘men’, and not ‘my friends.’ If my purpose in helping, giving, and supporting is to get the attention of men and get something in return, then I am doing it with the wrong motives.

In any service, one’s entire focus ought to be to bless the other person without the expectation of receiving anything back. This goes for relationships with men and women alike. Now if all you are looking for in helping that male friend clean up his house, do his laundry, or pick out something to wear to an interview is a date request, a snuggle session, or a kiss goodnight, check your motives. This is especially difficult for me because ‘acts of service’ is most certainly my love language. I enjoy nothing more than helping out a friend in need, but I must always ask myself why I desire to help this person out.

I love the idea of taking care of a man. I want to be a wife to, to comfort, to encourage, to support a man. Even though I am single, I still have this desire, so when a male friend that I care about is hurting, is in need, is frustrated, or needs my help, I want to jump in and take care of him right away. I do not think that this is a necessary evil. I think that there are very healthy ways to exercise our sexuality outside of marriage, and figuring out what that means for you is important. However, I do think we need to check our hearts and our motives in making these choices. If you are ignoring and denying friends help who have “nothing to offer” in the way of a romantic relationship, but pouring out tons of love and attention on the men in your life who may be possibilities, this ought to be a red flag.

Our good deeds, our help, our love and attention, should not be done in order to receive something back or with selfish motives. All kinds of caring should be for the benefit of the other person, not your own benefit. Don’t let yourself become a person who gives with selfish motives and then pitches a fit when all you get is a sweet ‘thank you’ or a hug in return. Many men will most certainly appreciate your generosity, but any act of service is much more appreciated without strings and ties attached. If you are unsure of your motives, ask yourself the last time you went that far out of your way to help out a girlfriend in need. Ask yourself the last time you turned down the opportunity to help out a guy, in order to instead help out your sister.

Now, with your heart in check, go, do good deeds, love on everyone who crosses your path, and don’t plot out how you can win a man’s heart by giving him all of yours before he has even earned it.

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Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us with a desire to give, to help, and to love. Thank you for giving us relationships with men and women who we can bless with those gifts! Give us the wisdom to check our motives, analyze our intentions, and act in an upright way. Teach us to be servants to all people in our lives, without expecting anything in return. Teach us to love others the way you love them.

_____________________

Your Assignment:

What are ways that you have blessed someone by helping them out this week? Can you say that your motives were pure? Tell us ways that you have helped out your friends. Compassion? Patience? A listening ear? Help with a move? Find a way to bless a sister in Christ, or a brother that you have no intentions of having a relationship with. No strings attached. Report back when you do!!

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For the “Lady in Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!

Filed Under: Singles Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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