November 6, 2024

Winning Him Without Words: “The Alone Factor”

October 2, 2012 by

 

We can depend on the Lord to show us where we are today in our marriage and where He wants us to be in the future. (Lynn Donovan, pg. 27)

My husband is not a believer. Although he supports me, he does not share my faith. I have come to accept his decision and respect his choice; however, there will always be a part of my life that I feel I cannot share with him.

And it hurts.

My belief in God began at a very young age. My relationship with Him began only two years ago; four years into my marriage. It was like a light bulb clicked on and life finally made sense to me. My friend invited me to a women’s retreat with her church. I accepted. And life has never been the same. But, my zeal for God seems to not make sense to my husband. At first, I had to hide my faith. I hid my Bible. When I was going to a Bible Study, I would tell him I was going to meet with some new friends from church. When we got in the car to go somewhere, I immediately changed the Christian radio station to the more mainstream station he prefers.

I had no idea how to act. I felt isolated and alone. There was this newfound blossoming of faith within me, but I could not share it with the one person who is closest to me. I felt like I was living a double life.

In fact, I still am.

I am still trying to figure out how to live this spiritually mismatched life. Although I have come a long way (I can now openly read my Bible in front of my husband and talk about my church activities without feeling uncomfortable), I still flounder. God still has much to teach me about honoring Him despite my circumstances.

“It matters not how we came to be in our crazy, mixed-up and unexpected marriage situation. What matters is that God desires that we honor our marriage commitment and fulfill our marriage vows through His power and His strength. We can’t do it on our own.” (Lynn, pg. 28)

Lynn’s message hit me at my core. God wants our marriages to be beautiful and thriving. He desires us to honor our commitment and fulfill our vows. And the only way we can do it is through HIS POWER and HIS STRENGTH.

We cannot do it on our own.

Did you catch that?

We cannot do it on our own.

And why would we want to?

We live for a Savior who desires to do life with us. That actually gives me a sense of peace. I am truly not alone in this. Our Heavenly Father is walking right alongside us, infusing us with power and strength every single day. He knows the aching of our hearts. He knows our longings. He wants the same thing for our husbands and for our marriages. He will not leave us flailing.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20(b), NIV)

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Let’s Pray: Lord, help us to see and to understand that we truly are not alone in our mismatched marriages and that you are right there, walking side-by-side with us through every step. Show us how to release the pain that binds us and causes anguish in our spirit for our unsaved spouse. Provide us with your power and your strength to get through each day and teach us to fix our eyes solely on You, the One responsible for our husband’s salvation. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray, Amen.

Your Assignment: Leave a comment below telling us one thing you can do for your spouse today to honor God and your marriage.

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For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and fill out the form at the bottom of the page (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Blessings to you,

Jennifer

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words: “Know that You’re Not Alone”

October 1, 2012 by

 

When I realized I was the first blogger for this new study I have to admit I was very nervous, because this first chapter is one that hits hard on my heart.

I am one of those ladies who walks into my church every week without my hubby by my side.  Many years ago I was just like how this chapter described her entrance into church.

I looked for the closest seat to the back, so I could get in quick and out faster. I tried to make sure I was just a few minutes from service beginning before I walked in then I wouldn’t have very many people looking at me or wondering if others were following behind me.   It would allow me to slip in quick, slide in the pew and look down quickly at my bulletin, like I had been sitting there all the time.

When my husband and I were first married he attended church with me, but about 1-1/2 yrs.  later he slowly stopped going with me at all, and that is when the loneliness began to set in.

Back then I would ask him every Sunday if he would go with me and he kept saying “No”…I would sit in church week after week watching all the couples come in, slide into a pew, and then that is when it hit me…..that husband’s arm would come around his sweet wife’s shoulder and I would be so jealous that I wanted to move to another pew, but that didn’t help because there was just another couple doing the same on another pew.

They just had the “look” that I so wanted.  All these couples made me want to quit going to church all together….until one day God showed me:

“why are you looking at others, when you should be focused on me”…..WOW did He ever get my attention!

Here I was treating this like a ball game or a movie, when I should’ve been focusing my attention on what God was trying to teach me from His Word for my life, not the fact that I was sitting alone in church without my mate.

Pg. 26 of our study described my feelings exactly:

  • I yearned for my husband to be there to sit with me
  • I dreamed of feeling his arm come around my shoulder
  • I desired to have him look up a Bible verse together, then him holding my hand after we found it

God showed me years later that my responsibility in my marriage is my relationship with Christ, and that I don’t need to worry about my husband’s, that God will take care of that.

So ladies, that is what I did:

  • I kept going to church and serving God in areas that He led me to
  • I kept asking my hubby to come with me
  • I took our children with me so they could learn about Jesus

I have continued for 33 years serving Christ, yet serving alone (without my mate with me).

Thankfully God is sitting with me in that pew and friends are close by and support me, embrace me, and pray for me.

And ladies I will continue to:

  • Keep going to church and serve God where HE wants me
  • Keep asking my hubby to go with me
  • I will keep praying and asking God to open his heart
  • I will continue to look for that arm around my shoulder

 

Let’s pray:

God I pray that any of us who go alone to church without our spouse will stay encouraged, will focus on You and let You do the leading in our marriage.  In your name I pray, Amen!

Your assignment:

1. For those who attend church alone please share with us what God showed you that has helped you get through the feeling of loneliness at church without your mate.

2. For those of you that have had your mate with you the whole time in your marriage please give others encouraging words to help us get thru each week sitting in that pew alone.

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For those who may be reading this blog and are interested in joining this Bible study we would love to invite you to join us! The Sign-Up button is located at the top of our website page, in the Menu Bar section. Click on that button and follow the directions. It’s that simple! We hope to see you soon!”

Blessings,

Bev

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

New Beginning

September 28, 2012 by

Hi, everyone, my name is Tina Marin. I am a mother to a son, Brandon, age 22, a daughter Nikki, 25, and a wife to John for 17 years. I live in Murfreesboro, TN where I attend World Outreach Church and serve in a couple of different areas.

I have known Megan for a little over a year while serving with High School Infinity, but more intentionally through an online Bible study. I must say, I have found it easier to have a relationship with other women as I mature than when I was younger. Partly a trust issue I suppose. I haven’t been much of a role model in that area and I never saw it modeled very well.

However, through it all God has his hand in my life. My aunt and uncle adopted me, while both of my parents were still alive and I always seemed to know I did not belong to them. We lived in Memphis, TN for a while and moved to North Mississippi until I was around 22 when I moved to Memphis to live with my half-sister. That was an adventure. Anyway, God always had made my heart soft and pliable, not able to hold a grudge after I worked through the anger, hurt and forgiveness necessary.

God had his hand in my life, it was not until I received deliverance that I knew I was a daughter of the King, forgiven and redeemed through the precious blood of Jesus. I felt His loving embrace, encouraging me to become the woman I strive every day to be for Him.

You see, even though I did not have my original family, God knew what family I did need.  He knew what I would go through as a child. I love my parents, both sets, and I know my Aunt (Mom) did the best she could with what was going on. Even though I was mistreated, I still had to honor them for who they were to me and I had to release them from the anger, guilt, and shame I had. It was up to me to release it, not them to say they were sorry, because God would take care of that for me. I had to take care of my part in everything that happened and forgive myself. Once I was able to do that, I could move on. Did that happen overnight, in two months, two years? No, I had to work on some of it for a while.

God had his hand in my life, it was not until I received deliverance that I knew I was a daughter of the King, forgiven and redeemed through the precious blood of Jesus. I felt His loving embrace, encouraging me to become the woman I strive every day to be for Him.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for revealing the truth, that I am a child of the King! I know the precious blood of Christ your son redeems me and that you have adopted me, yet again, into your Family! How great and wonderful is that. I love you Father and pray your grace and comfort to those who read this today. In Jesus’ precious name, AMEN!

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If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study A Daughter’s Worth starts October 1st! Please email teens@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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Unexpected Legacy / Set in Stones

September 25, 2012 by

The chapter on unexpected legacy was tough for me because it is close to my heart, as this example shared is exactly what my daughter is facing in her life.   Just a few weeks ago she was deemed by her doctor as being “infertile”.   Here is a link to my daughter’s story if you would like to read it…

http://bethpensinger.com/the-hopefuls/not-a-baby-story-matt-kelly-edition/

Kelly has so much strength in God and I know that my God can do what He desires no matter what the doctors “deem”.   She has grown so much in the past 5 years that the legacy she and her husband leave for their children will be amazing.   Reading this chapter truly helped me to deal with my hurt concerning Kelly’s health issues but it also helped me to ‘”see” the legacy I left in her path that she picked up and followed and I am so thankful that I get to see and experience her picking up the stones.

As I began to move over into the chapter “Set in Stones” I noticed on Pg. 258 of our study this little but big sentence that said:

“This heritage must be carried on”.

And then I got to thinking, have I been dropping those stones, setting them in place for my children to see and learn from?  And as I was skimming through my Bible, God powerfully showed me YES you are my child, just look in this Word you have in your hands and see what one day your children will get to read   (prayers you have lifted up, notes you have written, words of wisdom God has taught you as he chastened you in your life, instructions of obedience He wanted you to follow over the years) and on an on.

So I took this picture to show you “YES” I indeed am not only leaving this legacy example in my Bible but many more as I sit and look around my bedroom just in the areas my eyes can see,  I see photos galore, journals on my dresser, so many books to help me learn God’s Word, trinkets given to me from my children, a hope chest full of memories from our life).

And then these three things came to my mind about how we should leave a legacy (set some stones out) and they are:

LET’S  TELL IT –  don’t expect schools and churches to raise our children, that is our job! Let’s teach them what the Bible says…be honest, trustworthy, have integrity, depend on God, be Christlike.

Deut 6:5-says: “Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your homes and on your gates.”

In other words, always be telling it. Tell what the Lord has done for you. You may not have God’s Word memorized fully but you know what God has done for YOU in your life.

And don’t just tell our “children”. We must tell our husbands, friends, neighbors, co-workers, other family members….everyone we come into contact with, let’s….TELL IT!

LET’S LIVE IT– Let’s show our legacy of faith by how we act, how we respond, how we handle situations. Let’s show where we go when we need help….and that is to God in His Word and on our knees!  Let’s be Christ’s example…a living Bible for others to read. We are also God’s hands and feet on earth….so let’s LIVE IT!

LET’S DOCUMENT IT – Record our spiritual journey. Our beliefs make up who we are. Let’s desire our children and grandchildren to know the prayers we’ve prayed, the blessings we’ve received, the lessons we’ve learned, how God has worked in our life and how He can work in their lives too.

Don’t we want our children, grandchildren to know what we believed, what we did, how we reacted to life? What our thoughts were, our victories and our battles? What our hobbies were? Did we have a relationship with God? Did we depend on God and live for Him?

In order for them to know of the legacy we have left for them we must gather stones and set the stones in places they will “see them” and “pick them up”.

“The lessons we teach today will be the legacy’s we are leaving for tomorrow”.

 

Let’s Pray:   God, You have called on us, Your children, to be reliable in giving a solid witness of our faith in You.  We are to live godly lives so that we faithfully model that which we also teach to our children and all whom we are privileged to influence.   Fix our eyes on Jesus so that we fulfill the calling to be faithful and influence others for the kingdom of God. In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

 

Reminder!!!    Our next Women’s Online Bible Study starts next week on October 1, 2012!!  We will begin an awesome study by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller, “Winning Him Without Words…10 Keys to Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage“.  We are excited about this study!!  This study will end on December 13th.  I hope you will join us!!

To sign up for this study, please email us at:     WOMENS@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com

We will send you all the details to get registered.  To being you will need  a copy of the book (you can purchase a hard copy of the book or download to an e-reader device), a pen/pencil, your Bible, and a journal (if you like).  Each day, Monday through Friday, we will blog about this study RIGHT HERE on our website!  Then you will go to our Facebook Discussion Group, where we have set up a PRIVATE Facebook Group, so you can share your thoughts privately with just the women in that group.  The Facebook Groups are an awesome way to let your hair down, be yourself, be real, and not have to worry about the whole world reading your thoughts!  Plus, it’s a GREAT way to meet other Christian like-minded women and build friendships all over the world!  Sure hope to see you join in with us!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , ,

Resolution for Women: Off Broadway

September 19, 2012 by

 

For the law was given through Moses,

grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:17 

 

If you didn’t read today’s chapter, you’re probably wondering what in the world a can of WD-40 is doing in our blog today!!  If you did read it, you will know exactly what it’s meant for!  Read on…..

When I read the script Priscilla mentioned in the first part of this chapter, I have to admit that I was feeling a bit uneasy.  Why?  Because I felt like she was talking about the script that was written about my home a few years back.

The Lord is really working in me the last couple of weeks.  Last week, we talked about loving our kids; and the difference between loving them and being their friend.  This week, we are talking about grace in the home.  This chapter, we are talking about expectations / grace within the home.

I admit when I first moved into this home, I had no experience being a step-mom.  I have been a step-child before, but never a step-parent.  I had good and bad experiences as a step-child.  I learned, or rather I thought I had learned, what to do…and what not to do.  But, as life would have it, I realized very quickly that I hadn’t learned anything about step-parenting.

I had it in my head what I thought my new home was going to be like.  My husband and I talked a lot about what my responsibilities would be.  I thought I was going to just walk in and everything would just be peachy-keen!  Not!!

I can go back now and see the reason why things didn’t go so smoothly.  I was bullheaded.  My expectations were extremely high, especially when there had been NO expectations prior to me living in our home.  ANY expectations that I would have had would have been considered too high because of the lack of expectations before me.

To me, I wanted the kids to understand that I was just doing what their dad wanted me to do.  To the boys, they just wanted me to go away, and leave them to do whatever they wanted, as they had been doing for almost two years.

I was an intruder.  I was a spy.  I was a tattle-tale.  I was the enemy in their little world that had been so rudely interrupted!

Grace?  We didn’t know that word back then.  None of us did.  We were one of the most dysfunctional families in the neighborhood.  Neighborhood?  Nooo, in the whole town it felt like!

I expected the fairly tale setting.  I would move in.  We would all love each other.  We would all get along.  We would all have a great time.  And so on…..  WRONG!!!

I and everyone else in this family found out rather quickly that was not to be!

My expectations were to have respect for each other.  You did what you were told to do.  You didn’t bad-mouth each other.  You, in no way, showed violence.  You kept peace in the home.

Some may say that doesn’t sound like my expectations were too high.  But in this home, it was, only because it had never been reinforced before.  Now I come into the home and I was reinforcing these things, and the troops were not happy, at all!!  I was truly the enemy.

I admit now that I blew it.  My expectations should have been adjusted to a lower level, until we learned about each other.  Instead I just marched in and laid down the law.  Wrong way to go about things.  That blew up in my face, and it caused a lot of heartache for all of us.  I take the blame for that.  If I could go back and do it all over again, I would totally do things differently.

The lesson I learned is that each individual in your home has certain capabilities.  The expectations of that person should be based on what that person is truly capable of giving.  No individual should be forced into doing something they are not capable of doing, no matter what.  It should begin with teaching that individual first.  No one can do what they have not learned.  How can they?  They have yet to learn what is expected of them.  They Will Fail!!  And so will YOU, if you insist on them performing something they have yet to learn!

Re-evaluate your expectations of those in your home.  Re-evaluate how you can adjust your expectations to what is capable for each person in your home.  Don’t set the expectations so very high that no one will be able to reach it.  If you do, YOU will be hurt, disappointed, and more!  You will not achieve what you hope to if your expectations are not attainable.  Yes, I agree that we sometimes have to stretch our expectations to help our self and others strive for success.  But, what I am talking about here is setting the expectations so high, that no one can attain them …. To YOUR Satisfaction!

If you want peace, fun, laughter, acceptance, love, and a well oiled family unit, whip out the WD-40 (GRACE) and start spraying the areas where the expectations are too high, so you can loosen up a bit!  Don’t be a drill sergeant like I was!

 

Be a woman resolved to show grace in your home! 

 

Grace is the smile that everyone in your home is waiting to receive from you.

 

Truly if you use the grace card in your home, you will see much better results that I did when I first moved in here.  Today, we still struggle with past hurts because of how high the expectations had been set, and unmet.  We’re a work in progress, but by the grace of God, we are much better than we were back then!!  Praise God!!

 

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Let’s Pray:

Lord, I lift to You each person who is reading this today, and maybe struggling with expectations that are too high in their home, or their work environment.  Maybe they are the ones with the high expectations.  Maybe they need to loosen up a bit.  Maybe they need to learn how to use grace in their home or workplace.  Father I ask You to give them wisdom and discernment on how they can show grace to each person in their life, or how they can set the right level of expectations for their home, or workplace.  Lord, forgive us for the times that we have expected way too much from others.  Forgive us for the times that we have tried to force our expectations onto others.  Help us give grace to those who need to learn from us.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

 

Your Assignment:

Tell us about an area of your life where your expectations need adjusting.  How will you go about changing them, and why?

 

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Reminder… on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to: Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Now jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

 

Living Intentionally to Show God’s Grace,

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Resolution for Women: Chapter 12 – Living With Grace

September 16, 2012 by

“For the law was given through Moses,

grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:17

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(Girlfriends Coffee Hour is not affiliated in any way with Crossroads CA)

Is your home a welcome place for all that enter?

Let’s study this week how we can make our homes a resting place, not only for our families, but for all who enter.  One thing others have always told me, and it has given me much joy to hear, is “I love coming to your home Christi.  I always feel like I’m at ‘Home.'”  There could be no sweeter compliment to me!  I work hard at making sure people feel comfortable in my home, and want to come back!  Not only does to speak to others as to what kind of people we are, but it also shows them Christ.  And that, is the most important thing to us, for them to see.

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Your Reading Assignment

Monday:  Read pages 228-233 – “Grace” – Then come back to our blog to see what Christi has to say about this chapter.

Tuesday: Read pages 234-236 – “OK” – Then come back to our blog to see what Megan has to say about this chapter.

Wednesday:  Read pages 237-239 “Off Broadway” – Then come back to our blog to see what Kelley has to say about this chapter.

Thursday:  Read pages 240-246 – “Sabbath Spaces” – Then come back to our blog to see what our what our brand new Blogger, Donna Day, has to say about this chapter.  Donna will be filling in for Beverly this week.

Friday:  Come on back to our blog for our Weekly Review with Christi.

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Reminder… on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Now jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

See you tomorrow!!

Filed Under: Women's Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Resolution for Women: Chapter 11 Review

September 14, 2012 by

1 John 3:18

“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”

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Loving our children through action is not something that I have been the best at doing!  I have to admit that right here, and right now, that I have not always been the best at showing my love to my children, or my grandchildren.  I haven’t been the best at sharing the joy they all give me when I am with them, or when I think of them.  I know I have a lot of things to work on….and this chapter was a reminder of that…loud and clear.

My children are grown and gone.  I am the mother to two beautiful daughters, and two amazing step-sons.  I LOVE these kids with all my heart and soul, but to be honest, I have a hard time showing them how I feel about them.  I KNOW I need to work on this!

I am the grandmother to ten of the most amazing grandchildren, ranging in age from 15 yrs old to 10 months.  I have to admit that it hurts when I hear “Nonnie, I don’t like coming to your house because it’s boring.”  And you know what?  They are right!  It is boring here!  I AM BORING!

I have had to sit back this week and really look at who I am to my kids and grandkids.  Do they really know how much I love them?  Do they really know how much they mean to me?  Do they really know how BLESSED I feel to be their mom, step-mom, and grandmother?  I’m not sure of that answer.

As I’ve read this chapter and prayed about what I was going to share today, I really felt that I needed to remind all of us who are mothers and grandmothers, what an awesome privilege we’ve been given by God to have these amazing little people in our lives.

We need to realize what a huge honor it is to have been trusted by God to rear these beautiful creatures that He created.

We need to realize what an honor it is to be called Mother and Grandmother.

For those of you don’t have children yet, you need to realize what a huge impact you can have on your nieces and nephews, or your neighbors kids, or friends kids!  What an honor it is to be able to share the love of Christ with them.  Don’t let an empty womb stop you from reaching out to others kids and being the Light in their worlds!

We need to realize what a joy it can be to rear these amazing little creatures into responsible, amazing, God-honoring, adults, who in turn, give the same to others in their lives.

We also need to realize that it’s never too late to start.  THAT is where I am today, at this very moment.

I RESOLVE, FROM THIS MOMENT ON TO BE THE BEST MOM, STEP-MOM, AND NONNIE THAT I CAN BE.  I resolve to teach my kids even more who Christ is.  I resolve to continue to teach my grandkids who Jesus is, and why He is important to them.  I resolve to become a better step-mother.  I resolve to become a better mom.  I resolve to stop being boring!!  (this is a big one, by the way!! LOL)

I want God to bless my children and grandchildren, and what better way than to start being a blessing to them.

Granted, I haven’t been a horrible mother and grandmother.  But, I have much room for improvement!  And that is what I am going to focus on.

I want to encourage you to find something that your child, young or old, loves doing and then make a promise to yourself that you are going to step out on a limb, out of your comfort zone, and actually DO that thing, whatever it is, with them!  Maybe your son loves football.  Go to a football with him.  Maybe your daughter loves designer clothes, or funky clothes.  Go find a funky clothing store and go shopping with her.  Maybe your grandson loves playing in the sand.  Go find a place that you and he can go to build sand castles together!  Maybe your granddaughter loves being a princess.  Find a place that will allow her to try on princess gowns, and take pictures.  Whatever it is, DO SOMETHING with them!!  REACH OUT TO THEM!!  I’m preaching to the choir here, too, Ladies.

As I write, I am becoming more and more excited to step out of my normal boring “mom/Nonnie” mode, into the world that allows me to create precious memories together with my kids, and grandkids.  It all starts with me.

It ALL starts with ME.  I have a choice to be the kind of person I want to be in the lives of these precious souls in my life.  I have a choice to be a part of their lives, or not be a part.  I have a choice what part I want to play in their lives.  A significant part, or nothing at all.  It IS MY CHOICE!

I have the choice to sit down with my kids and tell them just how much I love them, and then SHOW them!!  I was speaking to my Life Coach today about this very topic today.  She gave me some amazing ideas on how to love on them in action, not just in word.  Sending little care packages to them, far or near.  Sending cards in the mail.  Sending coupons that allows them to pick a special place that they want to go on their birthday, with YOU!!  Sending them their favorite candy.  Sending them a magazine, for the older kids, of their favorite sport, dreams, or hobbies.  Thinking outside the box on how to better love on them!  Pinterest has some amazing ideas on FUN activities for kids.

Granted, life is not all about having fun with our kids….but it IS about creating memories.  Good memories.  Memories that your kids/grandkids will look back on and smile.  Attending my stepfathers’ funeral this week helped me realize the many wonderful memories that I have of him.  I want my kids / grandkids to look back on my life, when that day comes, and say “I will miss the amazing times we had together!”  What a beautiful legacy to leave behind!

 

Loving My Children

I will demonstrate to my children how to love God with all their hearts, minds, and strength, and will train them to respect authority and live responsibly.

I will also resolve to make time for each of my children to spend quality time with them, and get to know them and who God created them to be.

I will also resolve to put aside the “stuff” of the day once a week to do something FUN with my kids!

(Okay, so the last two lines are mine!!)

 

If you are ready to sign your name to this weeks resolution,

please join me.

Christi Wilson

September 14, 2012

_________________________

Your Assignment:

Today, I challenge YOU.  What will YOU do this weekend to show your love to your child?   Tell us about it, and how you approach your child or grandchild with this idea.  If you need ideas, go to Pinterest or call a friend and brainstorm together.  Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING!! 🙂   Pray and ask God to give you ideas….He will answer those prayers!!

___________________________

Let’s Pray:

Oh Father God, I admit that being a mom can sometimes be one of the hardest jobs You have ever given me.  There are times where I just want to give up, and say I quit!  There are times where I feel so very inadequate.  And times, where I wouldn’t trade my job for anything in the world!  Lord, I need You every single day to help me be the BEST Mom/Grandmother I can be.  I pray that You will guide each one of us Lord and give us the wisdom, courage, boldness, and JOY, that it takes to be a Mom / Grandmother.

Lord, for those women who do not have children, I pray that You will give them ideas on how they can reach out to the children in their family, neighborhood, church, or community.  Lord, help them be the Light that You have created them to be in the lives of kids who need it.  Help them to see that they have a very important role in the lives of children all around them, and then help them do what You have called them to do.

Lord, I give You all praise, glory, and honor for all that You are, all that You have been, and all that You will be in our lives, and in our kids/grandkids lives.  In Jesus’ precious Name, AMEN!

___________________________

I’ll be back on Sunday to post your reading assignment for next week!

Living Intentionally to Be the BEST Mom and Nonnie that I Can Be Through Him,

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Resolution for Women- The Encourager

September 12, 2012 by

1 John 3:18

“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”

_____________________________________

The Intentional Encourager

 In our chapter, Priscilla was amazed that a very young 22-year-old Solomon – when given the opportunity to gain health, wealth, prosperity, and prestige – asked God simply for WISDOM to lead the people he was made king over.  This amazed me as well.  I have 4 children ranging in age from 17-26 and if given the opportunity to gain health, wealth, and prosperity OR wisdom – my crowd would certainly choose health, wealth, and prosperity. What child this age today wouldn’t?  Once again, like Priscilla, my initial thoughts were the same – King David certainly must have raised his child the right way ~ a way different from what I raised my own.  Do you see the similarities of this situation with times today?  They really aren’t any different.  We all have character defects or deficiencies, we all make errors in judgement and King David did as well.  Priscilla says, ‘He made some colossal mistakes in both his personal life and his parenting’; as we all have done and continue to do.

  ‘My son Solomon – God has chosen him alone – is young and inexperienced. The task is great, because this palatial structure is not for man but for the Lord God.’            Chronicles 29:1-2

Solomon has been instructed to build God’s temple – did you get that?  God’s temple!  That is HUGE! …..and although he recognizes that his son is “young and inexperienced”, he also realizes that he is the chosen one.  That God chose Solomon to be king, to lead his people, to get His temple built.  Now it is his job to support, encourage, and most of all BELIEVE and have faith in his son to accomplish this undertaking. David does just that.

Like most parents, I have high expectations for my son and daughters.  I want them to have wisdom, health, wealth, prestige and all the blessings God promises in His word.  Unfortunately there have been many choices made by my children that were not in their best interest, that go against God’s instruction – that have caused me to lose faith in them, that have caused me to stop believing in them in many areas.  Shame on me.   I certainly was not perfect growing up and only in the last 4-5 years have built a relationship with Jesus Christ that has given me the desire and conviction to make my life’s decisions based on my Heavenly Father’s desires, the desires found in His word.  God didn’t give up on me.  God believed in me.  However, it remains very hard difficult to give my children that same gift (virtually impossible! – although we know with God all things are possible!)

As God’s child,  He was with me every step of the way growing up.  I know this because I should have been a ‘street kid’.  As a teenager my brother and I were being raised by my father.  He left our house to move in with his girlfriend and we had free reign.  Our dad wasn’t there giving us parental guidance, he wasn’t cooking for us or taking care of us.  I remember living in that mobile home (our home), just me and my brother (who was only 18 months younger than me) wanting to take care of him. There was no desire to ‘party’ as many teenagers do today. There was no desire to stay out until all hours or to do drugs or drink. God delivered us from what could have been a disastrous young adulthood.  He gave us wisdom.

The lesson being taught to us today is that we MUST be INTENTIONAL (and we have heard this word throughout many chapters n our study) with our children.  We must INTENTIONALLY encourage them, we must INTENTIONALLY provide them support (and I’m not talking about financial support or treasures), we must INTENTIONALLY believe in them.  We have to trust that our Heavenly Father has them – after all, they are His children.  We are simply here to give them earthly guidance and support until such day that they are reunited with their Father in heaven.  They are on loan to us.  We must never give up providing them with the spiritual food they need to get to know their daddy.  We must believe that they are going to do GREAT things in the course of their lives, that they too will build a relationship with God that will allow them to give their children what David did to Solomon.  This is a hard task ladies – a tough, tough task.  It is for me anyway – maybe it’s easier for you guys.  Perhaps you are in a different place in your life than I am in mine.  However, the lesson remains the same.  BE INTENTIONAL with your children.  As we have read in the past chapters, our jobs as parents don’t end when our children become adults.  Even with our grown children we must be INTENTIONAL in our actions towards them and continue to ‘train them up’ in the ways of the Lord. We must believe in them, encourage them, and support them – Intentionally. What incredible life gifts for them!

Let’s Pray:

Father, work in our lives.   Work in my heart Lord and in the heart of every reader here.  Allow us to become convicted and determined to be INTENTIONAL with our children AND the children of this world – those in our churches, in our communities, in  other cities and countries we visit.  Especially those father that do not have a parental figure in their lives.   You know every situation Father – for every parent and every child.  Provide us with the wisdom, guidance, and gentle nudges OR large pushes necessary to give our children the gift of belief in them, of encouragement, and the desire to continue spiritually feeding them regardless of where they are today in their personal lives.  May we be more like David in our daily walk with our children.

Your Assignment:

List some of the immature actions and temperaments in your children that may discourage you.  Keep this list in a place where you can always be reminded to pray regarding them, and consider who you can enlist to encourage your child in these areas (along side of you).  Carefully consider how you can make the overarching tone of your relationship with your child one of encouragement.  Please comment and let us know how we can pray for you in your walk, attempting to be more like David with Solomon.  or God with us.

[My note:  It is very difficult for me personally, psychologically, to see the roses over the thorns many times with my children.  This prohibits me from giving them the encouragement that I need to.  Especially with my son, who is covered in thorns.  This lesson has challenged me.  I will be praying for each of you in your own lives and request you cover my family in yours. Thank you for this.]__________________

Don’t forget, on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, right here, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!  It is AMAZING! (as a personal note, I have read this book – I have communicated with these authors over the past year and they are amazing.  Their personal stories changed my life.  Their words confirmed what my own pastor said when he counseled me in my own marriage.  I pray that you will join us for this study as well!)

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

Be sure to jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

 With the greatest love ever and many hugs,

<3 Kelley

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Resolution for Women- The Soul Shaper

September 11, 2012 by

1 John 3:18

“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”

___________________________

In today’s lesson, Priscilla talks about 3 roles a mother must take on if they are going to love their children well….

The Soul Shaper

The Intentional Encourager

The Discipline Dealer

Mama and dear friend…. I need you to understand right now that YOU are a soul shaper for your children.

It is so vitally important that we pray for our children. These prayers need to start forming in our spirit before we even have them and they must continue to grace our hearts and lips even after they leave our nest and have their own homes and children.

A Soul shaper must….

  • beware that her prayers for her child are significant
  • understand that once her child has received salvation, she is God’s primary tool to work alongside the Holy Spirit to see that the transforming process occurs effectively in her child’s soul.
  • know that she cannot accomplish this without involving her church and relatives to assist in the effort.
  • know along with her spouse that the main responsibility of this soul shaping is theirs.
  • not allow anyone else to take her or her spouse’s place as the primary influencers in the child’s life
  • help the child to become sensitive to God’s conviction
  • teach the child how to recognize God’s way of directing them through their conscience
  • continue to walk this out along with the Holy Spirit as the child grows and matures.
  • continue to seek the Lord for guidance for how she can be used to guide her children in their adult lives.

Dear friends, I hope with all my heart that you see what an intentionally BOLD role you play as your child’s soul shaper! You cannot be lazy about it or turn a blind eye. You must intentionally, every single day make this deliberate choice to invite the Holy Spirit to help you in your actions and speech in order to mold your child’s soul. What an honor and privilege!!!

Please…. if you haven’t already been walking out this bold task, start today. Don’t look back but look straight ahead at what the Lord is asking of you on behalf of His children that He has entrusted you with on this earth. HE deserves no less and neither do they. You will not be perfect… I hope you know that and are okay with that. Being human, we are flawed…. but what is so important is that you believe with your whole heart that your parenting is KINGDOM BUSINESS!!!!

You also must come at this call from a proactive stance and not one of defense. Don’t wait until your child is in trouble to cover them in scripture… we must each live each day being creative and consistent in how we clothe our children in the Word of God. What does this look like?

  • diligently and deliberately read the Bible to your kids
  • post scripture throughout the house
  • play worship music
  • be in fellowship with other believers
  • write scripture on the napkin in their lunch for school
  • send them scriptures in txt messages and emails
  • do devotional together as a family
  • ___________________________. (you fill in the blank)

we all know that if WE as women and mothers love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, that we can only then be able to fill this role to its potential and be our best for our children. If you are not regularly in the Word and being fed spiritually…. make it happen today. If you’re not going to church regularly, start this weekend. Your children, wether unborn, non-biological or adult NEED you to! As Priscilla so eloquently puts it….

“A transformed child start with a transformed mom”

________________________

Let’s Pray:

Lord, we ask that you give us bold revelation into this area of our lives today. We don’t want to be the same, Father…. we yearn to be THIS deliberate for our children, who are your’s first. Renew our hearts, minds and spirits to be able to give each of them all we have everyday to work alongside the Holy Spirit in shaping their souls. Thank you for this provision, Lord, and we thank you in advance for all you will do. Amen <3

Your Assignment:

Please leave a comment below telling us how you can creatively live your Christian life openly before your children… in REAL LIFE…. be realistic here, friends and tell us what you are already doing or what you are going to do. If you don;t have children of your own, tell us how you can do this with other children in your life. If your kids are grown, how can you begin to think outside the box to do this? If your children are very young, how can you creatively do this now?

___________________

Don’t forget, on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, right here, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!  It is AMAZING!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

Be sure to jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

 Be a Blessing today and everyday,

Megan 🙂

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Resolution for Women – True Love

September 10, 2012 by

1 John 3:18

“We must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.”

___________________________

Are you a “loving” mom, or a mom who is “in-love” with your child?

Is it important to you to be your child’s best friend, or to be one that shows them true love?

I’ve been both.  I’ve been the one that shows love discipline and teaching; and I’ve been the one who just wants to be their best friend!  Let’s fact it, parenting is not for the faint-hearted, is it??

Priscilla makes some very good points in this chapter:

  • Our primary goal as mothers is teaching our children God’s truth.
  • Love doesn’t always come in the form of words.
  • Love is an action.
  • Parenting is not an easy job!
  • Parenting is a rewarding job!
  • A fair share of your actions toward your children will not always translate love.
  • Sometimes kids see our love action as being too strict, or overbearing.

I remember times when my kids were little when they used to think that I was over-protective, to the point that they told all their friends that I wouldn’t let them play out in the street for fear that a plane would crash into them! 🙂  Yes, it was a joke, but in their eyes, they really did see me as too protective.  In my eyes, I was loving them.  Huge difference.

We used to laugh about the plane crashing into them, but today they are both mothers, and the one daughter who used to joke about the plane the most, is the mom who is the strictest with her children! Ha!    I just want to look at her one day and say “When will the plane crash??” 🙂

I’ve seen parents who think their only responsibility is to be “friends” with their kids.  Friends to the point that it was unheard of to say “no” to their kids.  I saw this in my own home when my husband and I moved under one roof.  He had two teenage boys still at home, and his only goal was to be their friend.  All I saw was two boys who were headed for a serious crash when the reality of True Life hit them!  They had much to learn that life wasn’t all about getting whatever they wanted, when they wanted it.  This type of “friendship” with his boys caused us, and the boys, a lot of heartache for the first few years as a family.  But, my husband began to see how important it was to change that relationship with his boys and start teaching them to be responsible adults, who would be ready for real life when they left home.  It wasn’t an easy change-over, that’s for sure.  But we all made it out alive, Praise God!

Really, the only advice I can give new parents, or parents with fairly young children at home, please stop worrying about being their best friend!  As Priscilla said in this chapter, True Love is serious business!  We have the responsibility of training this human life in the way he/she should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it.  Your children need YOU to be a parent….not their friend.  There’s always time to be their best friend later in years, when they really need it!

As my youngest said to me one day, “Mom, you were always the hardest on us; but because you were, I always knew that you loved us.”  You will never know what music that was to my ears!

________________________

Let’s Pray:

Father, we lift our children to You today and we thank You for the awesome responsibility You have given us.  We thank You Lord for loaning these children to us for a short period of time, to train them in the way they should go.  We thank You Lord for the patience we will need during this time of actually demonstrating our love through action, and not just through words.  Help us Lord to be the parent that YOU need us to be for each child in our life.

Father, for struggling families out there, Lord, I ask for Your help in repairing damage that has already been done.  Help restore the relationships that have gone sour.  Help restore forgiveness, as well, Lord.

In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!!

Your Assignment:

Please leave a comment below telling us in what way you struggle the most in demonstrating love to your child, in action. How can we pray for you today to have a better relationship with your child(ren)?

___________________

Don’t forget, on October 1st, we will begin our brand new Online Bible Study, right here, entitled “Winning Him Without Words” by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.  If you are in an unequally spiritual marriage, you won’t want to miss this study!!  It is AMAZING!

To sign up for this study, please send an email to:  Womens@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com and we will send you all the details you need to get started!

Don’t forget to stop by Craig’s blog to see what the guys are up to with The Resolution for Men.

www.adversusmundi.wordpress.com

 

Be sure to jump on over to our Facebook Group for the daily activity!! If you do not yet belong to this group, and would like to, send us an email at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com with FB GROUP in the subject line, and we’ll be glad to add you!

 

That’s it for today!  Megan will be here tomorrow blogging about the next chapter, “The Soul Shaper”.  I hope you will join us!

 

Living Intentionally to Be a Blessing to My Children,

 

 

 

 

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