November 21, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 3 – You Can Go Too Far

November 21, 2012 by

I don’t think I could even begin to count how many times I have heard the question, “How far is too far?” And if I never have to hear that question again, it’ll be too soon. With that being said, that question has come out of my mouth. I have such a problem with this question because it is basically asking how much we can get away with. And how many times have we asked or heard someone say, “…well, the Bible only says that sex itself is wrong before marriage… It doesn’t say anything about the other stuff.” WRONG-O. Ephesians 5:3 says that the Lord wants there to be “not even a HINT of sexual immorality” in our lives.

I will be the first to admit that I did not value or protect my purity when I was in my teens. Did I have sex? No. Did I make allowances for the “other stuff”? Yes. I am being honest with you girls because I do not want you to be deceived like I was! I do not want you to think, “Well, it isn’t sex so it’s okay.” This is SO not true! It is NOT okay. Here’s why… When you start to bring the physical stuff into a relationship outside of marriage it BLINDS you and prevents you from seeing the reality of your relationship. That means that you can’t even tell if you really even like this guy! Another reason it’s not okay- The world tells you that only sex forms an attachment to a man. I can tell you first hand, that is false. You also, at some point, deal with shame and guilt.

If you’re like me and have had that “How did I get here?” moment, you know how disappointed you were. Disappointed in the boy for not stepping up and protecting your purity, but more often than not, you’re disappointed in yourself. The enemy LOVES when we have messed up and are grieving over our sin. He loves to come in and make us feel so much worse. Conviction and guilt are NOT the same thing. Conviction is from the Lord. When you are convicted about sexual purity, you know that God’s Word says to stay away from sexual immorality. And if you have taken part in sexual activity, you can repent, turn away from that sin, and run to the Lord. Guilt, on the other hand, makes you hyper-aware of your sin. You sit and you wallow in self-hatred for hours on end. And forgiving yourself? Ha! Yeah right. That never happens when we allow the enemy to make us feel guilty.

So where do we go from here if we have messed up? Or how do we prevent that from ever happening? We trust that God knows what’s best for us. He knows that it is not good for our hearts for us to take part in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knows that it will only end in heartbreak. If you’re currently having sex outside of marriage, please, please, please stop. Your Father in Heaven is not One to make rules to make us miserable. The guidelines He puts in place are to protect us, because He loves us, and He wants our future marriages to be AMAZING!! Girls, you HAVE to be intentional about setting boundaries in your dating relationships. Here are my new boundaries~ I am not going to kiss another guy until the day of my wedding. I can hear your gasps all the way from over here. I just know that I do not want the enemy to have ANY stronghold over my life, and I am not about to give him any opportunity. Set your boundaries TODAY, BEFORE you get in a relationship. Write them down. Tell them to the Lord. Tell them to a friend to hold you accountable. If a boy is pressuring you to do anything physical, I HIGHLY encourage you to get out of that relationship. You deserve to date guys who HONOR your boundaries and who have made decisions and set boundaries themselves.

Let’s pray~

Lord, Thank You for setting boundaries for us! We know that those boundaries are to protect us from heartbreak. Lord, set girls FREE who are reading this- free from sexual sin, free from the lies of the enemy! Give these girls the strength to make boundaries and stick to them. Give them armor around their hearts, that they would be guarded from any deception. Thank You for Your grace when we mess up. Thank You for freedom from sin! We praise You, Lord, for the GIFT of sex… A precious thing that is a gift if kept within the context of marriage. Give us discernment to know what is right and wrong, and give us discernment to know WHO is right and wrong for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth: Week 8 / Day 2 – You CAN Insist That Boys Treat You Well

November 20, 2012 by

When you CAN do something it means you are Able, Permitted, Possible, or Designed to do something.  That is pretty awesome to think that I was designed to be able to insist that people treat me well.  Does that mean that every person in my life WILL treat me well?  Uh, NO!  Do I have to accept that behavior from them?  Uh, No.  So, why would I let a boy treat me any less than God created me to be?  Uh, WOW.  Do you know what the past tense of CAN is??? COULD.   Could hurts me to say.  Could means that I made a bad choice and, if I could go back, I would change what happened.  Could usually comes with regret. 🙁

In our home, if we have a hard time deciding if something is right or wrong, we take it back to the Bible and see what it says about the subject.  When we have friends or family members who treat us poorly, we look to see if our behaviors have lined up with the scriptures.  The verses we go to about relationships is 1 Corinthians 13.  It’s called the LOVE chapter.  We all want to be loved and want to love other people, so why not seek out what LOVE is from the source, GOD.

 So the Bible says this is what love IS.  Anything that doesn’t look like this is NOT love and you can WALK the other way or INSIST to be treated with love.  Sometimes that is hard to do.  We may have to walk away from our friends or that cute guy that we want to like.  We may have to stand up for ourselves and tell our ‘friends’ (and sometimes our family) that we don’t want to be treated in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable.  When we deal with our friends and family, we also need to follow these verses and treat them with LOVE.

If a young man wants your attention and wants to love you, he will make you feel smart, funny and pretty. (And not because of what he can get from you)  He will never ask you to do anything that will make you ashamed or feel dirty. (Love does not insist on its own way, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing)  He will want you to spend time with your friends and family and would even want to hang out with you.  (Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it is not arrogant or rude)  Boyfriends should draw you closer to God, not pull you away from Him.  (Love rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things)  Boyfriends should always make you feel good inside; not sick, worthless, jealous or angry.  (Love endures all things)

When you are a teenager it is hard to find a boy that can measure up to all these standards.  Sometimes you want to lower your standards just to have someone you can call “yours”.  Each time you give your heart away, you lose a little piece of yourself.  Most teens are not able to love someone else more than they love themselves. That takes maturity and maturity comes with living life and seeking God.   It is almost impossible to find a teen boy who loves you the way God created you to be loved. It’s OK to wait for that person God has been preparing just for you.

In my family, with so many daughters, we have many different opinions on the topic of dating and boys.  Some of my daughters want to wait to have a boyfriend, to hold hands, to kiss someone; to give him her heart until she is ready to be married.  Some of my daughters enjoy having a young man to call her own and share her “life” with.  A couple have gotten tired of waiting, tried to make it happen on their own and have had broken hearts.  I love them all and continue to point them back to 1 Corinthians 13 to help them decide if they are being treated with love and if they are treating others with love.  There is no cookie cutter answer about having a boyfriend because girls are not cookies.  =D

In our study, Ava Sturgeon says, “As a daughter of worth, you should expect to be treated well.  Dating the wrong guy is a tragic waste of you.  God’s beautiful potential.”  How true!  Protect your heart.  You are going to need all those pieces of yourself.  If you find that your heart is already broken into little pieces, take them to God and let Him put them back together.  He will.  It’s not too late.  He wrote the book on LOVE, so trust Him to show you what perfect LOVE looks like.

If what you are seeing and receiving from people does not match up with what the Bible says you deserve – turn around and head back toward God.  You are on the wrong path.  That leads me back to my life verse, Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your paths”. 

You CAN insist that boys/men/parents/siblings/friends treat you well.  You CAN treat them well in return.  It’s not too late to get on the right PATH facing God’s direction.  Be blessed my friends.

Let’s Pray:

Father we thank you for creating us with the desire to be loved and to want to love others.  Lord we want someone to love us the way YOU love us.  Father, give us patience to wait on the person you are preparing for us.  Give us people in our lives who support us, care about us and protect our hearts.  We know that you are the source of all love and good things and that is what we want for ourselves and for our friends.  Help us to always look to you for guidance and keep our feet on the right path.  We love you, Lord.  Amen

Mama T <3

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

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A Daughter’s Worth Week 6/ Day 3: A Good Friend Supports You

November 7, 2012 by


Supportive and encouraging are definitely how I would describe my friends. The day before my senior year of high school, I decided to be homeschooled. I just knew in my spirit that I was not supposed to go back to school. Of course my friends asked questions. They wanted to know why, which is totally expected. But the majority of them were so supportive and trusted me to know what was best for me. They knew I had a relationship with God, and they knew that I was making a wise decision for myself. As for the ones who weren’t supportive, I didn’t immediately shut them out or end our friendships, but over time, those friendships ended for various reasons.
We all have a specific calling, a specific purpose placed on our lives by God. If we are walking with Him, we should be taking steps in the direction of our destiny, asking Him where we should step.
Throughout this journey, we WILL need people to encourage us to pursue the dreams in our hearts. Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times…” Part of loving someone is supporting them. All of our paths look different. Your friend may make a decision that you don’t necessarily agree with in regards to their future, but it is important that you support them. If you know that your friend has a relationship with Jesus and asks Him before he/she makes a decision, you should trust that they know what they’re about to do.
We will experience trials and struggle throughout our lives. If we are doing Kingdom work, the enemy will not like it and he will try to come against you. Yes, in those times, you must pray. But I believe the Lord wants us to have people in our lives who will pray with us and who will rebuke satan with us!
Lets pray-

Dear Lord, thank You for giving us such a perfect example of how to be a friend. You are a friend to us. I pray that we would give us discernment in our friendships, that we would know who we can trust and who will love us unconditionally. I pray that we would be supportive and encouraging to our friends, showing them You in every encounter we have with them. In Jesus’ name. Amen

~Jordan

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Daughter’s Worth Week 6 / Day 2: A Good Friend Shares Her Faith

November 6, 2012 by

I would not say that I have very many friends.  I know a lot of people.  I help a lot of people.  But if I really had trouble or needed someone to talk to, I would have a very short list of people I would call or show up on their door step.  It has always been easier for me to deal with my own struggles by myself and sometimes share them with God.  That’s not how God wants me to be, that’s how I have done it…on my own.  Is anyone else guilty of this, like me?????  I’m working on this area of my life.  I have opened up more to friendship than I ever have before.  This is still hard for me, but I know God put me here to be a friend so that people can see Him in ME.  That’s weird for me to think.

I don’t have a problem talking to people in elevators, or holding a door for an elderly person, or talking to a child.  My kids find me embarrassing because I “talk to strangers”.  I’ve been guilty of carrying someone’s groceries for them, paying someone’s bill (when they didn’t expect it) and even taking time to listen to their “life story” when I had other things I needed to do.  I’ve taken people with me when I have gone out to run errands, just because they needed to get out of the house.  I’ve taken groceries and left them on doorsteps, mystery cakes have shown up at friend’s houses, bought tanks of gas when a young mom couldn’t get to work that week and taken a meal to someone just because.  I like to look for ways to share blessings with people.  I ask God to show me who needs a blessing and He always does.  It’s a lot of fun to look for random acts of kindness to do for someone.

I can’t say that I knew these people very well.  Some I did, some I had never met before.  So, if I am to live my life like Jesus, were these people my friends?  I think so.  Each time I loved on someone I got the opportunity to share Jesus with them.  Most of the time the response would be, “but you don’t have to”, or “but you don’t even know me”, or “How did you KNOW?”  My response was always a smile and the response that they were loved.  They would ask for the source of that love and I would get a chance to share what God had done for me.  I hope they told other people how God blessed them that day.   Hopefully they would do something for someone else and pay it forward.

Jesus “paid it forward” for us.  There is nothing that we can say or do that will be greater or harder for us to do than He already did.  Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.”  (John 15:13-14)  Jesus laid down His life for us.  He was there for us even before we knew we needed him.  When we are sad and need a friend, He is there.  When we had a bad day and just want to scream and cry, He is there.  When we need a hug and some comfort, He is there.  Because we know JESUS, He is there for us.

What about those people who don’t know him yet?  How will they find out?  Who will teach them what it looks like to be a friend of Jesus?  Maybe it’s time to lay down your life and look for someone to help.  It’s not about dying, it’s about living.  It is very good to have Christian friends and Christian influences.  It is very good to hang out with people who can make your spiritual life stronger.  It is also VERY good to look for opportunities to share your faith with someone who doesn’t know Jesus yet.  Non-Christians are already watching the way you live.  Why not teach them to follow Jesus too?  Then they won’t be a “non-Christian” anymore.  J

SHARE YOUR FAITH.  IT’S CONTAGIOUS AND THE WORLD NEEDS SOME OF IT!!!

I found a couple of songs for you guys today.  Give them a listen and tell me what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyeyhOdgyYM&feature=fvwrel  Love Her Like Jesus by Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js_hgkHQ6Bc  Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson

If we have truly been changed, we have to give it away.  How can you do that this week?

Let’s Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, We thank you for being our friend.  For always being there for us even when we forget to turn to you.  Thank you for the friends you give us to sharpen our faith.   Thank you for the opportunities we have to share our faith with others.   We know we need to be in fellowship with Christian friends, but show us who you need us to be friendly to, to share your love with.  We are willing to be your hands and feet.  We don’t want to be snobby, or shy.  We don’t want to take on bad habits to fit in.  We want the world to see YOU in our lives and want the love that we have.  Thank you for paying the price for our freedom from sin even before we knew we needed you.  We love you Lord.    Amen

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For the A Daughter’s Worth Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email megan@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,